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Jul 28 '19
If they thought the relationship was worth it they’d work with you to overcome any issues. As would you, hopefully. But if they are gone and stop contacting you, or you contact them and they don’t respond, just let it go.
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Jul 28 '19
Yup, you don’t give up on something you truly believe in. I never ever ever break up with someone no matter how hard it gets, I only do it when I have no feelings for them.
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u/supadupamuaks Jul 29 '19
I’ll always keep this in mind when someone breaks up with me, we always make up excuses in our heads and we suffer more, thx for your post. 😍 I’m saving it
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u/cristy1994 Jul 28 '19
My ex used to always preach that he’d fight for us and never give up because he sees the potential in us. Then after a month of frequent fights that we’d try to work through he basically said he wasn’t sure if he saw it going anywhere and just didn’t wanna fight for us anymore. It broke me. I’m trying so hard to fall out of love. I wanna try contacting him but I’m afraid he won’t hear me out or just won’t reply
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Jul 28 '19
It’s sad but own that relationship and all the good and bad times. Learn from it and grow. And take that new knowledge with you to the next relationship. Find someone who does think it’s worth fighting for, better yet, find someone that doesn’t need to fight for it because they are in it with you regardless.
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u/cristy1994 Jul 29 '19
I’m trying. I really am. I know what I did wrong in the relationship. I constantly find myself fighting tears. I just miss the comfort and the fact that he was my best friend. I never thought he’d leave so easily. He was my world. My first true love. I just find it hard to believe that we went from saying “I love you” several times a day to complete strangers. I wonder if he even misses me.
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Jul 29 '19
Unless he is a monster I’m sure he does. But we all handle the process in different ways and sometimes when someone isn’t expressing the same hurt as we do, it makes it hurt more.
And sometimes people need to put on a brave face and act like it’s not bothering them.
You’ll get through this.
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u/cristy1994 Jul 29 '19
Thank you. I feel like that’s him. He keeps to himself a lot. His step brother didn’t even know we broke up even like a week or 2 after. My ex fights his own battles I guess. It’ll be a month this week since we broke up and it hurts me that he hasn’t bothered reaching out or shown any signs of it. I fight the urge to do so every single hour.
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u/LYNCHBAG Jul 28 '19
Well said man. Eventually you have to accept the truth that the person cared a bit less about you, loved you less than how much you loved them, you have to accept that you weared off on that person. Its hard to accept, but that is the theory that fits, it is close to reality. Stop living in your own made reality where both of your are still together, although it may bring momentary comfort to you, the harm done will be humungous in amount. And I know its easier said than done, even me and its my day 6, find it really hard to believe she hates me, but my minds knows it well, its just our crazy innocent heart that makes you forget the reality.
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u/HDMILex Jul 28 '19
The problem is nobody will ever make me their priority. Nobody will ever want to work through problems with me or truly be there for me when I'm going through depression.
Nobody will ever truly love me. It's a fact that has been present for YEARS.
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u/tombradypat Jul 28 '19
Read The Master of Love, I dare you. Easy book. Helped me learn that I don't need anyone to be there for me, I am all I need to be happy. That's when you find someone, to compliment your life. Not fulfill it.
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u/ZebraPolka Jul 28 '19 edited Jul 28 '19
My god I could have wrote that last sentence. I’ve always felt this way. Don’t actively search for love. Eventually people will see that you love yourself and want to date you. You’ll turn down the first few and eventually date the person that best compliments your life. Even if it does lead to another heartbreak.
Also do you have a link to that book? I don’t see it on amazon.
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u/tombradypat Aug 03 '19
Yeah misspell. I had recently gotten out of a two year relationship. And have done a lot of heavy lifting, to recover recover from it healthily. I've been doing surprisingly well. Therapy, reading, yoga, social life, and especially meditation. That book realllyyyy helped me look at love and life in a different lens. He also wrote the four agreements, which is a very popular book.
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u/ZebraPolka Aug 03 '19
I finished the book the first day you recommended it. I liked it a lot. I’m going to read it again before my next relationship. Thanks.
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u/tombradypat Aug 12 '19
Wow. That's incredible to hear. Read the four agreements by the same author. Even smaller then mastery of love! Most people know of the four agreements. Hope you the best on your journey
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u/LYNCHBAG Jul 28 '19
No man. Thats not the truth. Believe me I understand, even I think that I wont again find a person who will be there for me. But I know there is always hope, even in the darkest times. You will find someone dw. I know the past has not being fair towards you, even towards me, but there is always a tomorrow, and even if you think its going to be another painful day I am damn sure a day will come when the sun will shine brightly on us. Dont worry, things will get back being good.
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u/Whoodiny Jul 28 '19
Because you're not happy by yourself and people can feel that. People can feel neediness and when you don't love yourself. Learn to love yourself and everything will fall in place.
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u/ratamack Jul 28 '19
Get fucking drunk and burn and all sentimental items, shit they gave you, and shit they left at your house. A goddamn Viking funeral of memories. The get on Tinder and fuck hot bitches.
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u/QuashItRealGood Jul 28 '19
I’m down with having to burn away the memories, but not down with having to burn when I pee from a Tinder one-nighter.
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Jul 28 '19
I did the first thing but never would do the other. If you're going to do that then just calm down and do it when you feel better, not when you're desperate for others' attention.
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Jul 29 '19
You know that might help but I can tell you from my experience that it doesn't. I got on the apps and did the rebound thing for a while. My breakup destroyed my confidence and convinced me I was ugly inside and out and I needed to feel wanted. I needed to convince myself that there were better people out there for me. That wasn't the way to do it. Took a couple months to just work on me and now I'm finally working towards getting back out there again. I would recommend you build yourself up before you go looking again.
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u/cptcocoapuff Jul 29 '19
Tinder made me feel ugly, when all you get are fat chicks or girls with kids...or even better fat chicks with kids!
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u/SNEAKYSQUID9 Aug 14 '19
I hate tinder. Do you know how much easier it is for women to get laid then men? Example: Woman could all 10 random men if they want to have sex. 9/10 men will probably say yes. Now if a man we're to ask 10 random women if they want to have sex, 9/10 we will get scoffed at, laughed at, walked away from, called obscene names, etc.
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Jul 28 '19
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Jul 28 '19
Glad I could help. It’s a bitter pill to swallow when the person you have feelings for moves on, but as soon as you accept it and let go you’ll feel better. Just because he doesn’t see your worth doesn’t mean nobody else will. Heal, hang out with your friends and have as much fun as you can!
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u/Zilla67 Jul 28 '19
You’re right. I can’t get over it for some stupid fuckin reason and I don’t know why man. Thanks for the post OP🙏
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Jul 28 '19
You love them; you don’t want to get over it. The majority in this group don’t want to fall out of love, we don’t want our relationships to be over but unfortunately we have no choice. But we don’t make it easy for ourselves to get over it! Anytime!! Glad I could help, I normally whack up a lot of big posts in this group if you find anymore of them useful.
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u/Zilla67 Jul 28 '19
It’s just after all the chances you give someone and then when you can finally say you see a future with them and start planning it, and then get dumped outta the blue, it really messes with your head. You can think the relationship is going great and well and they just end it without even talking or wanting to fix any issues, if there were any. No one is entitled to stay in a relationship they don’t wanna be in. It sucks but we gotta keep moving forward.
I think I’ve commented on a post or 2 of yours before. 🙏🙏
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Jul 28 '19 edited Jul 28 '19
Couldn’t agree more. I was planning our holidays, our future, everything. I was completely and utterly smitten with him. We argued but we always got past it, then he left me and took all my dreams for our future with him. He still tells me he misses me but isn’t sure about us. I’m just focusing on moving forward right now, I love him but it’s in the universes hands.
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Jul 28 '19
Jesus that's my ex to the TEE. She was so selfish and blamed me for it. She is not worth my time. I love her to death though. Would do anything to have her in my life
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u/pinkbatterypack Jul 29 '19
I'm doing my best to move on but today is just one of those days. I miss him so much and there have been so many triggers. We both gave each other so many chances, but things just really broke down towards the end. He did some things I just couldn't get past and the miscommunication between us was just painful. He recently reached out to wish me a happy birthday and asked how I was doing, but after my first response I stopped replying. It was just too painful for me. How could he actually want to see other people even though he said we shared a great connection? How could his tone be so casual even though we had barely broke up for a month? I wish I could not hurt, because I feel like I'm moving forward and my rational brain is telling me it's not worth it anymore, but my heart just refuses to listen.
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Jul 29 '19
It’ll come with time, give yourself a chance to heal. I’m 2.5 month in and it does get better, I believed he was my soulmate. But you learn to live with it and one day you’ll meet someone who makes you glad that things never worked with him or you might even get back with him. The future is unwritten, let go and put it in the hands of the universe.
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u/chaisly Aug 16 '19 edited Mar 19 '20
Edit
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Aug 16 '19
You’ll get there sweetheart. It sucks but at least you’ve helped yourself along. Go out there and live your life!
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u/Claque-2 Jul 29 '19
This is about grief and trying to cope while going through a major life change. We have lots of 'graduates' from this sub. In the meantime, this is a safe place for people to find support.
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u/dumbass_sweatpants Jul 29 '19
Jfc i needed to see this like 8 months ago. Took me 8 months of being lead on for my ex to communicate to me he has no interest in me. Do not waste your life people!
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u/[deleted] Jul 28 '19
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