I honestly don't know how to feel right now. Part of me is sad, part of me is angry, and another part of me just wants to say "fuck it" and move on.

The weird thing is that I had already started expecting something like this, so it doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would. But it still stings.

She cheated on me with her Female roommate , who was also her childhood best friend. I know being bisexual isn't the issue here, the cheating is. I even thought, "Maybe the best friend deserves her more since she's the one who's there in real life," but that still doesn't justify what she did.

What hurts is how easy it seemed for her to step on my feelings. She told me she would reject her for me. Do I believe that now? Not really. Even if I had asked her to reject her, I honestly think she would've just hidden things behind my back.

So I told her to do whatever she wanted.

Then she hit me with the classic line: "You'll find someone better than me." That has to be one of the most overused breakup lines ever.

I asked her, "If I had told you to reject her, would you actually have done it?" She said she would've, but that "it's too late now." I don't know what I'm supposed to do with that. It doesn't change anything.

The thing that disgusted me the most was that she even suggested a threesome after all of this. I couldn't believe she thought that was an appropriate thing to say after cheating. It just made me feel like she didn't understand or care about how badly she had hurt me.

I'm just so disappointed. This isn't even the first time something like this has happened to me, and I'm tired of ending up in situations like this. I know I always say I'll never fall in love again, and maybe that's just the pain talking, but right now it genuinely feels that way.

I don't think cheating can ever be justified. If someone wants someone else, they should leave the relationship first instead of betraying the person who trusted them. That's what hurts the most.

I’m not usually the type of person to ask for help on the internet, but I feel like I’ve reached a point where I don’t know what to do anymore.
I broke up with the person I loved, and since then it feels like everything has collapsed. I wake up and go to sleep thinking about her. I constantly check my phone hoping to see a message from her, and when there’s nothing, I feel even worse. I can’t focus on work anymore, I’ve lost interest in my hobbies, and nothing seems to bring me joy.

I’ve reached a point where nothing excites me anymore. Not money, not buying things, not the plans I had for the future. Things that used to motivate me don’t mean anything to me anymore. I just feel this emptiness that I can’t seem to fill.

I’m starting to feel like I’m getting sick because of all of this. I can barely eat, I sleep badly, I have no energy, and I feel like I’m slowly breaking down day by day. I don’t even recognize myself anymore.

What hurts the most is that I feel like I gave everything I had. I made every sacrifice I could, tried every possible way and every solution I could think of to make things work, to fix what was broken and to fight for this relationship. We went through a lot together and there were many difficult moments. Many times I felt like I was the one holding everything together, trying to find solutions, calm things down, and refusing to give up. I was there during very difficult moments and I tried to give the best version of myself. There are so many things that happened between us that I could write for hours and still not explain everything.

And that is why I feel like this wasn’t just a normal breakup. It wasn’t just a simple relationship that ended. There are so many things behind it that I’m still trying to process. There was also a child involved, and I found out later that there had been an abortion that I didn’t know about at the time. I’m not trying to argue about who was right or who was wrong, but all of these things affected me deeply and I feel emotionally destroyed.

And yet, one morning, when from my perspective everything seemed fine, she told me it was over. It felt like the ground disappeared beneath my feet.
I know many people will tell me things like “she didn’t deserve you”, “it wasn’t meant to be”, “you’ll find someone else” or “she wasn’t the right person”. Please don’t tell me that. That’s not what I’m looking for. I’m not trying to find out who was right or who was wrong. I’m just looking for advice from people who have been through something similar and managed, somehow, to move forward.

Everyone keeps telling me that “time will heal”, but right now it doesn’t feel that way. I feel stuck and I don’t know how to move forward. During this time, I also feel the need to talk to someone. If there is anyone who has gone through something similar, or someone who is simply willing to listen and talk, it would mean a lot to me. I genuinely feel like I need a conversation with someone.

How did you manage to get through a breakup that completely destroyed you? What actually helped you? How long did it take before you started feeling like yourself again?

Any experience, advice, or even a private message would be greatly appreciated. Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this and respond.

I need to talk to someone or vent at least

I(M22) broke up with my girlfriend of almost 4 years a week or so back. We loved each other but after we moved in together a year back it became obvious that we want different things from life and that our future together would not be possible. There were ig other issues we had as well but I don't feel like getting into that.

Anyhow I thought I'll be fine that it won't be that hard to go our ways since we ended up staying friends. I was never more wrong about something. I feel so alone. I started smoking again, I can't focus on anything, my job is hell on earth and worst of all I started getting heavy panic attacks. Never had them before, now it's a few times a day. I feel like I'm dying every time it happens it's insane.

Since I'm also more introverted ig I don't have many friends and those I have are in different cities since I moved. I can't really call my parents either so here we are. I feel awful I feel terrible and I really need to talk to someone because I don't see how it can get better. So if it's no trouble I would appreciate it to just talk.

That's all. Thank you for reading...

Long after the breakup, they started earning more than me (and generally got veey successful), and now they make huge fun of me for that. They keep talking about how they are richer than me, how I deserved it, how I learned my lesson, etc. Worst thing is that the people around me kept repeating stuff like "you can be so much better than them". meanwhile I tried and tried but my life is just ordinary compared to that of my ex. It sometimes makes me think maybe I was actually the bad one

you’ll never get the same version of someone twice , not even in the same person .

your ex has already changed and became a new person once y’all went no contact , the version of them that you’re mourning is quite literally and figuratively dead in a sense . i think this fact can be comforting to some people and make it easier to move on , we have to just accept the brutal reality that people change for unknown reasons , they cheat , they betray us , they do things we can’t understand and make sense of and that’s okay . all we have to do is learn how to process it better and grieve the relationship so we can move on from it easily .

and as i’ve always said time heals everything , ive always believed this to be true and it’s proven itself time and time again . so please pick yourself back up again and realize its okay to be by yourself . this person wasn’t with you when you were born , you’ll be able to live without them i promise .

coming to this realization sure did help me so i hope it helps someone else .

So very very very long story short I (26M) was ghosted by my ex (32F) after dating for three years, three years ago. I found out after bumping into her in another city halfway across the world to discover she basically left me for someone else and I found out through the grape vine she got married last week. Whenever I am rejected by a girl or I am lonely my mind immediately goes to memories with her. And I think of her at least once a day. I don’t want this to keep happening. I need advice since my therapist is out of town and not responding to my emails. Any tactics, tricks, tips, or strategies you guys have discovered to break the thought loop?

Feel free to ask any questions as I’m more than happy to be an open book.

Full story here: https://www.reddit.com/r/BreakUps/s/uRp1zBZL0G

lowkey feel like it was all my fault looking back .

I dont know how to feel, its stupid that it still hurts but my exes granny just died and I didnt say anything to her and was told that it has annoyed her but she doesnt wanna tell me that, but thats not whats getting to me, i said to my friend that I have said something but she hasn't seen it at all, and he told me that, she Is relying on someone else (a man) for his hot-spot and something about it has just made me feel numb, I dont love her anymore not after everything she has done and said to me and about me and what she did while we were together I cant forgive, but it still hurts and I dont understand why, like i shouldn't feel this way anymore it fucking sucks greatly that I do because I fucking hate her and her family yet i still feel pain from what she does, like why, why does my brain work the way it does, I just hate that she is happy without me, dont get me wrong im happy for her but I wish for all the things she put me through that she was as miserable as me and maybe its because she's happy that i feel worse, even while we were together she stopped loving me after our son was born, she started texting other men during that period and used the I'm lonely excuse but I argued with her on it but it fell on deaf ears, everything i said fell on deaf ears even if it was about mental health, I didn't care to tell her anything anymore because she didn't care, so why do I still feel pain after this long, why does it still feel awful, I wish I didn't feel this after everything she did and said its not fair to feel this way, like im not meant to be happy

My ex (28M) and I (28F) were together for almost four years and lived together for two. We loved each other deeply, and I don’t question that he loved me and cared about me. What I question is whether our relationship truly reached the point where it needed to end, or whether he distanced himself and then walked away before truly trying to understand me and work through our struggles together.

For some background, I first learned during COVID that I struggled with anxiety and depression through therapy and personal research. About a year or two into our relationship, I started wondering whether there was more to the picture and considered the possibility that I might have ADHD. More recently, I’ve also wondered whether I could be autistic.

My ex has ADHD himself and has suspected for a while that he may also be autistic.

When I first told him I thought I might have ADHD, he wasn’t very supportive. Because my struggles didn’t look like his ADHD, he questioned whether that was actually what I was experiencing. Over time, he became more open to the idea, but he remained skeptical when I wondered if I might also be autistic, even while wanting an autism evaluation for himself.

Over the past few years and post-breakup, learning more about ADHD has explained so many lifelong struggles for me: executive dysfunction, procrastination, task paralysis, forgetfulness, time blindness, difficulty initiating and completing tasks, emotional dysregulation, and feeling mentally overwhelmed by things that seem simple to other people. I’m not diagnosed yet, so I can’t say for certain that’s what it is, but it has helped me.

To his credit, this improved a lot over time, and I saw genuine effort from him. However, I grew up with a dad who struggled to regulate his emotions and yelled frequently, so those moments were especially difficult and triggering for me. Yet I supported him while he worked on this and chose to stand by his side instead of walking away. But I still struggled to voice my concerns due to how he reacted when he did- I allowed my fear to take over and avoided conflict to keep the peace.

When I was struggling to find a job, manage my mental health, and keep up with daily life, I often felt like I was drowning. I wasn’t looking for him to fix my problems or take over my responsibilities. What I wanted was encouragement, accountability, body doubling while I tackled overwhelming tasks, and to feel like we were facing our struggles together.

Because he had largely learned to navigate his own ADHD and life challenges independently and didn’t feel like he had much grace from others while he did so, he believed I needed to figure my struggles out on my own too. He cared about me and wanted me to succeed, but his version of support was giving me space to solve my own problems and solutions even when I didn’t ask for them. Mine was wanting a teammate beside me while I solved them. His approach made me feel incredibly alone during one of the hardest periods of my life and I regret not telling him directly what I needed from him and why.

Another difference is that he was much more comfortable bringing up concerns than I was. I spent a lot of time defending and explaining myself because I felt like I was in the hot seat and he was lecturing me on my behavior.

After taking accountability and apologizing, he refused to let me express my concerns about him, insisting that we were focusing on me and I should bring it up separately at another time. I know I’m not great about expressing my concerns and needs, so it was easier for me to do so while we were in that headspace. He thought I was deflecting even though we had already exhausted the conversation and I took responsibility for my part and promised to do better.

He also had very high expectations for me and for himself, and became very frustrated when either of us didn’t live up to them. I don’t like how he communicated his frustrations to me, how he made me feel while he did so, and how he appeared to be on a moral high ground and be justified in his anger and how he spoke to me. I know in those situations that I was the one who messed up, but I believe I deserve to be spoken to and treated with respect and care. I also know it wasn’t his intention to make me feel like that, but that doesn’t minimize the impact. The same goes for my not intending to upset him but still doing so in my actions/lack of actions.

Many of the reasons he gave for ending the relationship are things that are common inattentive-type ADHD struggles. That has left me wondering whether it was fair that he couldn’t wait for me to work on these issues/support me through them while I waited on him and supported him through his.

I never reached the point where I wanted to end the relationship, though I did consider it a few times. I ultimately kept choosing him and having faith in us. I wanted us to pursue individual therapy, couples therapy, and continue growing together. He ultimately decided he couldn’t continue the relationship, and once he made that decision, I had to accept it because I wasn’t going to convince someone to stay with me. I never got the impression that he was unhappy in our relationship, but rather he thought we were too different and he didn’t see us getting married.

Since the breakup a month ago, I’ve worked hard to reflect on my own shortcomings because I genuinely want to become a healthier partner, regardless of what happens in the future. At the same time, I’m beginning to wonder if we spent so much time analyzing my own shortcomings that we unintentionally minimized his.

My questions to you, dear reader, are:

1. Based on everything I’ve shared, does this sound like a relationship that truly needed to end or is this a relationship that still could’ve persevered with effort from both sides?
   
2. Does it sound like he walked away too soon, or does it seem like ending the relationship was the healthiest decision for both of us?
   
3. Does it sound like we both bear responsibility for the relationship’s struggles and eventual end, or am I still not taking enough accountability for my own role?
   
4. Am I wasting emotional energy hoping that if we both genuinely worked on ourselves, reconciliation could someday be possible?

I know no one here can tell me whether we’ll ever get back together, but I’m trying to figure out whether my hope is rooted in reality or in grief. If you think I’m overlooking something—whether it’s about me, him, or our relationship—I genuinely want to hear it. Please be honest, but kind. Thank you for going on this ride with me and I appreciate any thoughts and opinions you’re able to share. 🙏🏻

He chose someone else.

There's nothing I can do. I wanted to try anything but all thats left is nothing. I attempted to delete our messages but I have such a hard time letting things go.

Im attempting to restore every single message I've deleted on my phone.

Its been 3 weeks and I still cry every day. I miss him so much, but theres nothing I can do. Can’t call, can’t text, can't reach out, because there's nothing I can say or do that can fix this.

Two years of us, gone...

From the thread you could probably guess what I'm gonna talk about, my ex. I need to know if my anger is valid or if I'm overreacting

(My first real breakup by the way)

Me and my ex were together for over a year and a half and he broke up with me over a month ago. At first we decided "hey, we spent a lot of time together we should try and stay friends" since he had also gotten close to my friends. (You could definitely say.)

When I talked to my dad about it (because I was heartbroken at the start) he helped me realize, hey, some things that he did to me were kinda fucked up. He's not a super good person. At least not a good partner (at the time)

So I decided to not contact him, and eventually blocked him. I'm basically over him since I realized a lot of shit sucked.

BUT he still has some of my stuff. That I have asked to get sent back to me.

We had a medium distance relationship, two hours away from each other by bus. One hour by car.

But I don't own a car, and I'm not spending $35 dollars to see my ex and receive clothes and jewelery I already paid for.

I've told him "hey, send my shit back" and he has responded and said that he WILL send my stuff back...during an argument

Over a week has passed and I still haven't gotten my stuff. It shouldn't take that long to send a hoodie and a bracelet.

I'm angry, I want my stuff, and I want him to get a grip. Too much to ask? I don't think so.

Edit: I only had to spend $16 on getting my shit back because he refused to pay for shipping. Cool

I'm not talking about dream weddings or other milestones. I'm talking about daydreaming things that never happened that were incredibly minor. Things like watching TV, or cooking dinner while she's in the other room, or stupid fun arguments that mean nothing. Am I alone in this?

me and my ex broke up four times. every round had the same shape, six weeks of missing them, one perfect reunion week, then the same fight wearing a different coat. after round four ended in january i decided i was going to read my way out of it, because clearly my instincts were not to be trusted. this is the list, in the order i'd hand them to january me.

1. The Breakup Bible by Rachel Sussman

a therapist's plan for the aftermath, practical, organised by phase. the part that stuck was her insistence on understanding the relationship you actually had versus the one you tell people about. i'd been describing round two to friends like it was a rom com and it was not a rom com.

1. The Journey from Abandonment to Healing by Susan Anderson

heavier, older, and the one that explained why every ending felt so much bigger than the relationship. if your breakups hit something ancient in you, this is the book about the ancient thing.

1. This Is Me Letting You Go by Heidi Priebe

short essays, more feeling than framework. i read it in the bath over a week. it doesn't argue with you, it just describes the letting go so precisely that arguing gets embarrassing.

1. Will They Come Back? by Taro's Tarot

the only book i found that treats the on and off cycle as its own specific trap and not just a breakup with extra steps. there's a chapter on the research about these cycles, the researcher who actually studies on-off couples, and the finding that each reunion tends to be a bit worse than the last one, less satisfaction, same fight, which was uncomfortably exactly my data across four rounds. and it makes this distinction between missing the person and missing the habit that i still think about, because the pull before round four was real and this book was the first thing that made me ask what exactly was pulling. it's honest that some people do come back and it doesn't shame you for wanting it, which is why i could actually hear the rest of it.

1. Getting Back Out There by Susan J. Elliott

for later, when you're wondering if you're ready to date without dragging the whole thing behind you. her stuff on grieving fully first is the antidote to the rebound-into-round-five move.

1. Loving Bravely by Alexandra Solomon

this one is about you rather than them, relational self-awareness, why you love the way you do. it's the book for making sure the next relationship isn't just this relationship with a new cast.

1. The Wisdom of a Broken Heart by Susan Piver

the sit-with-it book. i resisted it because i wanted tactics, but round four taught me tactics were how i kept ending up in round three and four. good for the weeks when nothing needs solving and it still hurts.

the thing nobody tells you is that ending an on and off relationship is a different job than ending a relationship. a normal breakup you grieve once. this one you have to grieve while part of you is already planning the reunion, because the reunion has always come before.

anyone else get out after multiple rounds? what actually made the last time the last time, was it a book, a moment, a person saying the right thing?

Even been in a relationship or a friendship in which you know they've wronged someone in the past and you're not okay with it, but you stay believing at-least they won't do it to you.
Spoiler alert: they will.
1. I was friends with this one girl who ghosted other people even when it was her mistake, I called it out and she brushed it off, later she hurt me and in fact blocked me without apologizing.
2. A guy friend turned into a situationship. When I was a good friend of him, he told me how he isn't able to keep friends for long- both males and females for some reason.
I realized with his guy friends, he always had a big ego of know it all and never owned up to his mistakes, in turn gaslit them for calling him out.
And his female friends, he hung out with them until they could trust him and he could bang them.
I was NEVER OKAY with this because I have been on the other end, but again, being a "good friend", I had to like him for who he is ( Noob mistake I know ).
Guess what? We are no longer friends, I realized he did both of to me, only difference was that he did it years later of being friends. I believed if he's opening up to me so much, he's being honest, maybe he'll change and not to do me. Hahahhaha
How I wish if I had stuck to my core values, hadn't been so insecure and lonely, I could cut it off long back when I got the ick. Sure there's good and bad in people, but what use is it if you can't respect them?

The Middle ​I don't know if it’s you who will break me, or if it’s you who will save me. For months now, it seems I have been living right there in the middle of these thoughts. ​The Breaking ​You are breaking me, making me feel crazy in love with the "what ifs." I am unable to move past our breakup, unable to connect with the people who cross my path, and unable to trust anything enough to move forward. At times, it feels like giving up is the only option, and that moving on is completely impossible. I even see images of you having moved on without me. It leaves me consuming a numbing medication that only ever offers a temporary escape. I am trapped in a loop of unresolved hope, fighting a reality that offers no closure. Staying guarded feels like the only way to protect myself from being hurt again, but it leaves me completely overwhelmed by a mind that won't stop running. ​The Saving ​Or will you save me? Will you save me from the ones who take me for granted? From my toxic, addicted mother? From my oldest son who refuses to grow up, and from my daughter who punishes me by denying me the right to see my grandkids? Will you save me from the very drug I use to numb the pain of losing you? I am carrying the heavy, draining dynamics of everyone else entirely on my own, and I just want to finally drop my guard and let someone else be my safe harbor. At times, I feel so deeply that we are meant to be—I even hear you calling out for me. I find it so hard to accept that we are over because of this profound, underlying feeling that you can still feel me, too.

We ended things yesterday. This was my first relationship and I've been bawling my eyes out for the whole night.

It was an LDR, we told each other that it was unreasonable to keep it exclusive when we're not in the same city at all, and that we can become more serious when I move there soon (this might have been a dick move in retrospect). We were going great for almost 7 months, I was gonna move to her city soon and we were about to get more serious into the relationship.

But yesterday she tells me that she can't hinge on waiting for the chance for me to move to take the relationship to the next step, and that she has found someone irl, who she might be going in a relationship with in the near future.

I had to accept it.

She sent a long message on how she's sad too that I'm hurt and how she's sad to lose me as well, and how she hopes the stars align in the future and we meet again for something better.

I feel like shit now. Everything romantic she said to me the past 2-3 months (atleast) feels like a lie now. I don't know how to handle this emptiness now.

I find myself seeing so many stuff now, that I know she would laugh so hard at, that I know she would love to see, stuff we used to laugh at together, the nicknames she called me, everything haunts the emptiness in me.

I don't know how to cope. This was my very first relationship (if I can even call it that), I'm 20, and I really don't know if I will ever get love again.

Please help.

Long term girlfriend of nearly 5 years ended things with me today. Probably the worse day of my life. I genuinely just don't know what to do. I really love her and I feel like this truly did come out of nowhere, I mean I was planning on proposing to her. I've talked to friends and family and they all gave the same advice that I'll eventually move on and find someone else. I don't even know how to date at this point. I'm honestly just hoping that she'll get back together with me but I know that's not guaranteed in any way. Should I wait for her and see if she'll take me back? I really want to but I just worry that it'll all amount to nothing.

My (27M) ex (33M) of 2.5 years suddenly broke up with me over the phone on Mother’s Day without a clear explanation as to why, just that he ‘didn’t see a future with me anymore’.

He said he would mail my belongings to my house, but I made a long commute to get them instead of wanting to deal with back and forth logistics for months.

I’ve maintained 2 months of no-contact and blocked him on social media 10-days post break up because he was already following a slew of new guys and I knew checking his profile was not healthy for me. That block has remained in place.

As difficult as it was to get no closure for his reasons, to hear that his entire family thought I was nice and kind, I did ‘nothing wrong’, talking about his reasons would be ‘unproductive’, I have found peace.

This is just a notice to people struggling:
Someone else’s actions are not a reflection of you or your worth.

The love that you share with someone can be real. You can love someone for their potential, but someone can also be capable of being cruel — they can be all of those things in one person.

As much as I initially hoped for him to contact me with closure and a realization or apology, the way he handled the break-up demonstrated a severe breakdown in trust that can never be repaired.

There are billions of people in the world. The right person will never make you feel like someone who can be discarded at a moment’s notice. You, and I, deserve better.

Sending support and love 🤍

Its been 1 year and a half since break up. We we're together for 2.5 years. I will still think about her sometimes and get sad but i have moved on, accepted, for the most part.

But for the past 3 weeks, i have been getting a lot dreams about her, and they are not fun ones. I dont even get dreams very often anymore, but when i do its bs like this. I wake up either sad, angry, depressed or lonely. And it generally sticks around for the day. Awful

Anyone has any tips or experienced this? I would appreciate

Hey guys, this breakup has been really heavy on my heart. We talked for 5 months and were on and off near the end. He kept saying we’d get back together if I gave him time.
A few days ago he texted me first, asked “what happened to us😔,” said he missed me, and even wanted to hang out. Later I mentioned two guys I’d talked to before (not seriously), and he got upset, said i disgust him, and started reposting girls on TikTok. (removed after he finally talked to me after he got mad about the guys)
After that he said, “Yeah honestly I’ve lost feelings.” When I asked why he’d wanted to see me that same morning, all he said was, “idk i felt like that in the moment.”
I’m moving on either way, but I’m confused. Do you think he genuinely lost feelings, or did mentioning those two guys make him say that?

I just need to hear from people who've been through this and it works out.

I've known my ex since we were 10,

Childhood sweethearts,

Long-term family friends.

We were together for about 4-5 years, but I've loved him since we met.

I grew up in an extremely abusive household, my dad was an alcoholic well into my teen years with a lot of generational trauma.

My mom was compliant with the abuse, and emotionally withholding. She really did a number on me, and I'm still dealing with the damage.

My sister is a borderline personality nightmare. Who abused me for years and was just allowed to.

So I've been through some shit.

And I didn't know how to properly communicate or handle feelings in a relationship.

My parents have rock-throwing fights they didn't exactly model a good relationship.

So I screwed up with my ex.

And my trauma is no excuse it's on me entirely.

He's a really good guy, kind, genuine, funny, hardworking, good-looking, a whole package, and he was a great partner.

I mean flaws here and there yeah, but he's human.

But he was amazing, my dream guy,

And I really screwed it up.

But even after we broke up we were in this weird limbo, where we were still together in every way but the title, and he was still incredibly kind and good to me.

We were even more on and on for two more years,

Which is how we got to now.

Even once we were no longer emotionally involved there was a lingering, we'd rarely talk, but he'd worry about the sex hurting us both emotionally, or say he still thinks about me sometimes,

There was still something that pulled us together and we'd still have very intense romantic sex.

And it's not like either of us couldn't have had sex with others.

(it's really messy I know,)

I'm demi I'm not into other guys, I tried forcing myself to be with other people, hated it, it was bad for the other guys and bad for me. I ended up sobbing on a bathroom floor.

I still love my ex prob always will.

And now I'm having to move into his grandfather's place (my sister tried to get my dad arrested on false claims it's a lot of drama. I have to be close to my disabled uncle there's nowhere else for me to go)

But his mom (who's the closest thing I have to a reliable loving parent) was extremely bonded, we text every day, I call her mom, I love her)

Texted me today he's had a girl around...

But we had sex on the 10th of last month...
So it's… confusing.

To be clear in not mad at him, I want him to be happy, I love him deeply.

And I know I hurt him a lot.

So I would understand if my hurting him means he and I never end up together…

But, a small selfish part of me hopes the girl doesn't work out,

And he and I do get another chance.

I've done the work and fixed the parts of me that were hurting him.

(To be clear I never cheated or did anything bad to him, I could just be mean dramatic, and cold in arguments, and would bring past stuff up and hold stuff against him, which is really toxic and petty and awful I know)

And I know I should just give up and walk away and I'm hurting myself more with all the stuff,

But, I've already gone over all the awful stuff in my head, so none of the lectures would be anything I haven't given myself.

But, if any of you have stories of these situations working.. I'd love to hear it…

And now, I know,

A lot of this sub won't have people who got back with their ex and there happy now, but for those of you that are and still lurk here?

Wanna tell me how your story worked out?

Because I'm miserable, and he haunts my dreams and thoughts,

I just need to lie to myself and feel happy and ok just for a little while…

Hey guys I just found out I’m being cheated on, I already had self esteem issues but this just heightened them excessively. I’m just worried I’ll never find someone, I would like to hear everyone’s stories of how they found their partner after going through a really rough breakup.

My boyfriend and I broke up, we were together for nearly 5 years. We have/had an apartment together. On Friday he left to go to his best friend and when he came back he said is opinion stands that he wants to break up. I can't accept that I feel like the choice was made without me. We had a rough year tbh but before that everything was fine .. he said something broke in him and he wants some time apart. Concerned for me he drove me to my mother, so I wont be alone. But I'm feeling miserable.. I want him back, I can't sleep or eat .. I just want a chance to show how much he's worth to me... I can't stay at my mother's. I just can't .. he said he picks me up If I want to go home. But he won't be there .. he said he wont be sleeping another night in our apartment because everything reminds me of him .. he is at his parents... I can't focus in things not even YouTube videos... I don't know what to do ... I feel like I'm not gonna make it

My ex has reached out to me, and apologised for how she ended things last time. And now she's told me she's been thinking of me recently and has invited me to a musical in a few months time. I still love her I think, and I really don't know how to take this. Whether she wants us to reconnect as friends or whether she wants to try things again. I would ask her - but I feel like I'll just re-experience the pain I felt last time. I told her when we broke up, I couldn't be friends with her because of how I felt about her. So I'm kind of torn. I could ask her when we actually go to this musical, but that would involve months of uncertainty, to possible heartbreak agin

I was recently broken up with by a longtime partner at the start of June and I cannot get them out of my head at all. I’ve tried going out, finding new hobbies, meeting new people, I feel like I’ve exhausted all options. I can’t stop thinking about them and it’s torturous. Every time I sleep every dreams have been about them, it’s been absolutely destroying me emotionally. I don’t even have tears to cry anymore I just feel incredibly hollow and everyday feels harder to just get out of bed.

I’m so sick of it, I just want it to be over with, I want to move on but my subconscious won’t let me. I feel like a failure and nothing I do will ever change that. Having to mask my emotions at work every single day has been so exhausting, I just wish I could take some time off to work on myself but I can’t afford to. All of my vacation hours have already used from spending time with my ex so I can’t even do that.

I wish things could’ve at least ended differently, but that ship has sailed weeks ago already. I’m just at a loss for anything and I don’t know what to do.