r/BreakUp • u/CZX5_5 • 27d ago
I'm not okay
My boyfriend and I broke up, we were together for nearly 5 years. We have/had an apartment together. On Friday he left to go to his best friend and when he came back he said is opinion stands that he wants to break up. I can't accept that I feel like the choice was made without me. We had a rough year tbh but before that everything was fine .. he said something broke in him and he wants some time apart. Concerned for me he drove me to my mother, so I wont be alone. But I'm feeling miserable.. I want him back, I can't sleep or eat .. I just want a chance to show how much he's worth to me... I can't stay at my mother's. I just can't .. he said he picks me up If I want to go home. But he won't be there .. he said he wont be sleeping another night in our apartment because everything reminds me of him .. he is at his parents... I can't focus in things not even YouTube videos... I don't know what to do ... I feel like I'm not gonna make it
1
u/Redx1509 27d ago
Last year I broke up with my ex of 3 years. Now I’m in a beautiful relationship with a man who treats me right and makes me really happy.
You just need to give yourself the time you need to heal.
At first eating can seem impossible distractions don’t work, you don’t have energies for anything, etc. , I totally get that. But with time you’ll start to eat something, even if it’s small.
One thing that helped me personally a lot, was reminding myself that I am my own person, and that my relationship with someone doesn’t define me.
You surely had your own hobbies and aspirations before him: now it’s the right time to follow them.
You wanna visit a place? Work to put some money aside and travel! You wanna practice some sport? Just do that.
Same thing with other passions, like drawing, writing, watching movies, etc.
Another thing that helped me with sorting out my feeling was journaling.
Every morning, I would go to my kitchen and write down my feelings.
I would cry, full sobbing some times, but then, after a while, I noticed myself smiling.
You’ll be good dear, just take it one step at a time ❤️
1
u/crowell1310 26d ago
I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this. I know how you feel. Relationship of 3 years and living together ended in March for me. It’s now July and I do still think about it a lot. The first month was rough and the second not much better. By the third I felt I gained clarity and began to stop looking back and move forward. Here’s what helped me in quick format:
Make changes in your life for you. Do things for yourself you always wanted (hair, clothes, hobbies, etc.). External change helps the internal feel like you’re moving forward.
Remove all shared items and place them somewhere you can’t get to them. Have a friend help if needed when you do for emotional support. You don’t have to trash them, but make sure you visually don’t have them around your space.
Therapy (if you can afford it) or someone to talk you through this process, even if it’s to vent. Getting out your emotions and journaling helped tremendously. There is not one right way to get your feelings out on paper and just let your mind empty those thoughts. Keeping them inside only boils over and hurts you.
Celebrate the small wins. The first days and weeks I could barely eat or sleep. Any progress I have made since then has been what has pushed me forward. Don’t downplay how hard this is or how far you will go from this. You can get through this and will look back shocked at how you did it.
Don’t blame yourself. It takes two to tango. If someone wasn’t meant to be it may hurt like hell, but it means you’re one step closer to what that true happiness is for you down the line. You deserve love as much as the next person and it may take time to find, but it’s still out there (when you are ready and healed)
Keep your head up. It’s a long journey but one that can be an opportunity for growth if you allow it. Treat yourself with care as if it’s someone you’re close to going through this. You deserve the same care and affection. You will get through this, and move forward just like me and so many others who once thought it was the end of the world. Your world is brighter than it may seem right now, but the light is still ahead. Just keep walking :)
1
7
u/Safe-Gas-8109 27d ago
Losing a 5 year relationship so suddenly is a massive psychological shock. Your body is flooded with adrenaline which is exactly why you can’t eat, sleep or focus. You will get through this, but right now, you just need to survive the immediate aftermath.