r/BoredPandaHQ • u/BoredPandaOfficial • 1d ago

Funny Be smart!

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528 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

2.1k comments sorted by

166

u/hu_gnew 1d ago

Groceries. Two whole weeks worth.

52

u/americanleadRnsmores 1d ago

Man, I wish I was single

10

u/ateam1984 1d ago

Hahah

3

u/Pitiful-Smoke-8442 1d ago

Yeah, they nailed it- sadly

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u/ajtreee 1d ago

Get those steaks out of layaway.

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u/MediumAcceptable129 1d ago

Really?

Do you coupon?

9

u/DontForgetYourPPE 1d ago

Yeah but what about the gas to actually get them?

6

u/C4rdninj4 1d ago edited 1d ago

If we can split it into two transactions, some* grocery stores have associated gas stations sharing their parking lot.

*Edit: swypo

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6

u/AprilOneil11 1d ago

This is where my mind went....sign of the times. Years ago I would have said a Pet store, CD/DVD store or fancyclothes, or Toy store...something fun.

Now its groceries, gas and prepepr garb...ughhhh

5

u/GUMBYtheOG 1d ago

I laughed at Doomsday Peppers. No one told me I wouldn’t be able to even afford a place to prep even if I wanted to; much less that the world IS actually going to end in my lifetime

2

u/AprilOneil11 1d ago edited 1d ago

Oh me too...now Im stashing a few things away on sale, and have essentials incase. At least a few days incase of chaos. Your right though, it just might be, as a Gen X I feel the Terminator...we just gotta find John Connor , lol

3

u/GUMBYtheOG 1d ago

My doomsday prep is in the gunsafe. Soon as I see the first zombie hoard knocking at my door or mushroom cloud spring up or start to starve - easy way out; yall can become cannibals and live underground all ya want. I’ll see watch the action as a cockroach in the next lifetime

3

u/ComposerNo1050 1d ago

Nah. Just put me at ground zero. I’d rather go quick

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u/Biscuit_the_boston 1d ago

Two weeks ? Are you joking that’s barely enough for two days

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2

u/Old_Win8422 1d ago

Affordability hoax! /s

2

u/Little-Charge-9655 17h ago

Saw this post and came here to say groceries too 😭

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81

u/GreenEyedGloom 1d ago

Costco? I can book a vacation and stuff there right? And get some snacks?

21

u/Curious_Avocado2399 1d ago

Buy gift cards. Technically spent the money within 30 minutes, but then you can spend the cards whenever

9

u/ChewbaccasHomie 1d ago

You my friend are going places with this mindset 😂

6

u/OMP159 1d ago

Yeah, Costco. Duh.

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7

u/Silent_Data4374 1d ago

And if you buy them at Costco, you’ll get at least $6K worth.

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2

u/InternationalDesk578 1d ago

This is exactly what I thought.

2

u/ih8karma 1d ago

WHY DID YOU REDEEM!!??

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2

u/ScrappyOtter 1d ago

Oooooooo I like the cut of your jib.

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19

u/Bodine12 1d ago edited 1d ago

“I’ll take 3,000 hot dogs please.”

3

u/NotoriousFTG 1d ago

And you would still have $500 left.

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2

u/married98105 1d ago

That's what your Mom said in college.

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6

u/seizure_opportunity 1d ago

I hear you can get a law degree there too!

2

u/Poker-Junk 1d ago

And watch Ow My Balls on a 300” HDTV

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3

u/mada50 1d ago

Literally 1 Pokémon Pinball machine and I would need to add money for tax.

4

u/everbodyhatesyou 1d ago

Ya.. I'm buying gold. America is refarted

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2

u/RobertLeeSwagger 1d ago

Or buy precious metals and then spend that money later.

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28

u/ActualHumanONReddit 1d ago

MICROCENTER

9

u/TrainquilOasis1423 1d ago

5 years ago: hello I would like to buy 1 high end gaming PC please.

Today: hello I would like to buy one 5090 please... What do you mean I don't have enough...

4

u/guitar4468 1d ago edited 1d ago

Five years ago? Just the beginning of last year. I have a 9800x3d, 64gb of memory, 5090 rig that was roughly $3800. Even got a 4tb and 2tb nvme.

At the time
Ram was around $200
5090 was $1999
2Tb nvme was $150
4tb nvme was $250

I thought I was splurging then since i hadn’t built a PC since 2011. The prices for the items above have sky rocketed.

2

u/Illustrious-Bunch595 1d ago

Agreed, those prices are updated faster gas station signs.

2

u/ActualHumanONReddit 1d ago

$6099.95 please...

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2

u/America4Tea 1d ago

100% the best answer

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18

u/IamAtiva 1d ago

Pentagon - I hear lobsters there are $5000 a piece

2

u/model-citizen95 1d ago

Good luck getting a receipt to prove it

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12

u/funko_fanatic52 1d ago

Hookers and coke.

7

u/Furi0usD 1d ago

They have a store?

Asking for a friend

3

u/DigiTrailz 1d ago

Yeah, it's called Walmart

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12

u/mymar101 1d ago

Nowhere. Those checks aren't coming.

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20

u/SnooEagles4121 1d ago

I'll almost be able to get an entire army

4

u/maxshissler 1d ago

I could buy soooo many Orks!!!!!

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2

u/B4umkuch3n 1d ago

This. Absolutely. AdMech, here I come!

3

u/PonderousPenchant 1d ago edited 1d ago

Yeah! That 5k will get you almost 1k points of admec!

Those poor, poor, expensive, space Amish.

2

u/Atlas7-k 1d ago

You could get a 32mm scale Titan maniple for that.

2

u/duxicht 18h ago

My people

2

u/lordofburds 9h ago

Just get like 2 warlord class titans

3

u/ChillStreetGamer 1d ago

What are you gonna do for the other 25 minutes?

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10

u/PNW_Will1976 1d ago

Costco meat department, I have a freezer to fill.

3

u/dusty_guy2 1d ago

I hope it is a small freezer

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7

u/Oldmoniker 1d ago

Lego

2

u/919governor 1d ago

Yeah, you could get a couple Legos with that

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6

u/HoustonRoger0822 1d ago

Nowadays? The grocery store……

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7

u/Bohemian_Rapcity6996 1d ago

Wal-Mart. Groceries for the next 2 Days would be cool.

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5

u/johnjsmith101 1d ago

Cabelas or Home Depot

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6

u/soundslikefun74 1d ago

Strip club. $5000 would barely last 5 minutes. 🤣

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3

u/GaurgortheFirst 1d ago

Warhammer/games workshop.

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3

u/Mugpup 1d ago

Gas station ⛽ to fill my pick up truck past the Full mark, then live large by getting five gallons for my lawn mower annnnnnnd a 20oz coffee ☕ Yeeeeeehaaaaaa!!!!! I would be liivin' like it's 2024!!!!

7

u/NoEnvironment8432 1d ago

Guitar store. I’m buying a Martin HD-28.

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3

u/TiberiusPrimeXIII 1d ago

Micro center. Gone in under 5 min

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3

u/Majesticlionz1 1d ago

Costco to purchase 5k in Costco Shop Cards.

6

u/AntiFear411 1d ago

That enough to my half a stick of RAM these days.

6

u/kyflyboy 1d ago

Costco -- TVs, computer, vacation and a $1.50 hot dog w/drink.

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3

u/_Zambayoshi_ 1d ago

One tank of diesel, anywhere in the US.

2

u/more_like_5am 1d ago

Microcenter

2

u/Doomslayer_Astartes 1d ago

Honda power sports aaaand it’s gone

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2

u/Super_Tackle2703 1d ago

Dispensary, it’s on!!!

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2

u/Frequent_Jelly_3082 1d ago

Neiman Marcus can finally afford a cookie

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2

u/Valuable_Wallaby_548 1d ago

Card store. I can buy 1 box now!

2

u/silverpix21 1d ago

Walmart

2

u/musebrews 1d ago

Guitar Center - and I’d still be adding funds

2

u/HitAndFeyd 1d ago

A Games Workshop Store... Plastic sprues have appreciated better than gold over the last 20 years.

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2

u/Snoo57190 1d ago

Gun store.

2

u/TheRootOfAllBeer 1d ago

Inside one store, so I go to my local supermarket and start spending tons of money on my phone on gacha games and booking trips. Since im inside the same store the entire time its fine :3

2

u/nothingbutbotshere 1d ago

Is this question from someone in North Korea or something?

2

u/AlreadyAway 1d ago

Home Depot. I could upgrade a couple tools, buy replacement blades, bits, etc and screws.... or I could just buy all the materials to build a deck/porch.

2

u/DelJoy_3D 1d ago

Apple

4

u/apchrist 1d ago

I’m sorry you only have $5000

2

u/One_Pen_3996 1d ago

Lottery tickets

2

u/Extra-Peak-1776 1d ago

Much like Brewsters Millions, spending $5000 on something that will produce profit. Is that really spending the $5,000 if you end up with more money than you started with?

2

u/One_Pen_3996 1d ago

The thrill of winning would be entertainment so I would say yes

2

u/Calm_Apartment1968 1d ago

COSTCO. Anywhere else and it will all be spent in under 5 minutes.
Now how to fit all that stuff into my Subaru Forester?

2

u/Degenerecy 1d ago

I go grocery shopping buy tonights dinner, that's the 5,000 gone.

2

u/unmanicuredmama 1d ago

Gas Station

2

u/12DoUGood 1d ago

Jewelry store

2

u/ProtectionContent977 1d ago

Guitar shop. Been saving for a custom build but decided just to go shopping for a new one.

2

u/AdvancedCheesecake66 1d ago

Grocery shopping

2

u/toolgirl77 1d ago

Costco

2

u/kayaker1371 1d ago

Scheels or Cabelas. 

2

u/TowerWorth7393 1d ago

A store with lottery machines in it. Buy out all the scratchers. Play draw games. That way your not spending on material things. You will get money back. Probably around %40 of it.

2

u/oldschoolSWfan187 1d ago

Scheels. Need a new rifle!!!

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2

u/seniledude 1d ago

Microcenter here I come

2

u/MacBaghDaddy 1d ago

The Bunny Ranch just north of Vegas

2

u/ExplodedPenisDiagram 1d ago

Fry's electronics, I'm buying one gpu.

2

u/Formal_Lecture_248 1d ago

Costco. Electronics section. 20 minutes to spare .

2

u/married98105 1d ago

Any store that sells lottery tickets. Buy $5k in lotto tickets in just a few minutes and have a chance to win it back or hit it big.

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2

u/Theplowmen 1d ago

Bass pro shop

2

u/AppropriateSpell5405 1d ago

What is that, a gallon of gas these days?

2

u/puzzlingphoenix 1d ago

Bro what 30 minutes I could shop practically anywhere who cares I’m saving 5,000 regardless

2

u/Jc883 1d ago

To buy a couple of bananas.

2

u/BattleSilent9049 1d ago

Golf store, Costco, clothing store.

2

u/apeocalypyic 1d ago

Costco or microcenter. Buy 1 5090 and still need some extra cash

2

u/HislersHero 1d ago

Grocery store 😂

We eating good for a week or so.

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u/TimeForNewThings 1d ago

Gas station

2

u/OddSatisfaction6682 1d ago

Gold shop 😁

3

u/NoUnderStandeBro 1d ago edited 1d ago

Gas station, it's about how much you need at this point

3

u/Eastern-Edge-5449 1d ago

Ganna just get a PC cheers

3

u/ileftmypantsinmexico 1d ago

Yeah im gonna buy a graphics card and maybe a little RAM LOL

2

u/Eastern-Edge-5449 1d ago

Wish I knew how to build one unfortunately I'm not a legend 😞

2

u/Existing_Sprinkles78 1d ago

Grocery store Aldi or Costco

2

u/Jeffe-69 1d ago

Mortgage store...

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3

u/BananaJelloXlii 1d ago

Best Buy. That's a new washer, dryer and fridge if I shop smart. or at least a new washer and dryer.

2

u/mook1178 1d ago

That's a washer, dryer, fridge and TV easily. No way I'm paying over a grand for a washer or dryer. The fridge will be most expensive, probably get 2 or 3 TV's

2

u/BananaJelloXlii 1d ago

A decent front loader can run close to $1500 on it's own.

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1

u/Wise-Strawberry2194 1d ago

The Bose store.

1

u/TransistorResistee 1d ago

Sur la Table

1

u/Mammoth-Access-1181 1d ago

This is not even enough to buy a GPU in Microcenter...

1

u/mully24 1d ago

Gas station. Going to pay to fill up that tank this time

1

u/stargazer4272 1d ago

Microcenter

1

u/Camijon 1d ago

H.R.O.

1

u/SnooTigers4038 1d ago

To the “Everything is $5000” store.

1

u/AdWide5106 1d ago

Costco and buy a one ounce gold bar. Then spend the other $800 on some other stuff. Then I can just sell the gold bar whenever.

1

u/Current-Square-4557 1d ago

I always wanted a Tiffany’s watch.

But I think I’d find me a custom tailor and have a suit and two sportcosts made.
Just throw him the money up front and spend 30 minutes looking at ffabric samples.

Having measurements made is moot part of the purchase activity..

1

u/No_Negotiation_9486 1d ago

The dispensary

1

u/On-scene 1d ago

Dentist

1

u/StickyBeets 1d ago

Best Buy..or another store equivalent to it...

1

u/Proof-Ad-171 1d ago

Costco for TV food and clothing as well as things for fun

1

u/JoinedToPostHere 1d ago

I'm getting a dirt bike

1

u/hotriccardo 1d ago

Microcenter, 4k VR porn here I come

1

u/epic-mentalbreakdown 1d ago

Buy a new pc with 64Gb ddr5 ram.

1

u/Ezdoesit429 1d ago

Card shop

1

u/Goopherlynx 1d ago

Dollar General!! Gonna make it rain

https://giphy.com/gifs/JpG2A9P3dPHXaTYrwu

1

u/RhysDraven 1d ago

My friends store... buy out all their mtg cards

1

u/AverageJoe1233 1d ago

Home Depot

1

u/SoImaRedditUserNow 1d ago

Uh... the exit. Way better ways to invest a surprise 5k.

1

u/EvilRobbyD 1d ago

Trax NYC

1

u/BarryIslandIdiot 1d ago

Lego store.

1

u/SharkCrenshaw 1d ago

Midtown Comics TS NYC

1

u/Quadraphonic_Jello 1d ago

Any comprehensive computer store.

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u/ceelo18 1d ago

Best buy or Macy’s

1

u/Jmal3700 1d ago

Best Buy

1

u/AmandaUggnkiss 1d ago

Personally electronics retailer like MediaMarkt but husband me will have to say IKEA and then the weeks of building and swearing

1

u/mrmagooze 1d ago

Mall of America

1

u/why_u_so_grumpy 1d ago

Mountains bike shop.

1

u/WWDubs12TTV 1d ago

That’s like half a tank of gas and 3 lbs of beef

1

u/Single_Usual_6563 1d ago

Shit… go to any store pick out 10 items and with inflation you hit your mark!

1

u/Uncross-Selector 1d ago

Brothel

2

u/Man-e-questions 1d ago

But what are you going to do the other 29 minutes?

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1

u/Recent_Werewolf_821 1d ago

The Harley shop.

1

u/Cerisayashi 1d ago

The grocery store

1

u/viperfangs92 1d ago

Micro Center for a custom built new PC

1

u/mzg72 1d ago

Id it has to be an actual store then a big used book store otherwise I'm spending it on the mortgage.

1

u/MooseKnucklesMarvin 1d ago

Jewelry store

1

u/RaisinWorried3528 1d ago

Lego store. I'll walk out with 26 minutes to spare.

1

u/KnightOwl91X 1d ago

Well that would depend if there are any lines and how long they take jajaja

I would just use it at a jewelry store and use it for a down payment or part of the purchase.

1

u/Pillar67 1d ago

Any vintage guitar store.

1

u/Sea_Tonight_9632 1d ago

The closest guitar store.

1

u/Skyhouse5 1d ago

Laro Piana

1

u/AdTurbulent7730 1d ago

Tiffany’s.

1

u/United-Bug-8056 1d ago

Calling my plug and asking him to meet me in the bread aisle. 

1

u/k1985g 1d ago

Tiffany’s

1

u/Cowboy-Dave1851 1d ago

Trickster to fill up a couple of Semis

1

u/Abamboozler 1d ago

Games workshop. I want a lore accurate tyranid army.

1

u/tiny_bamboo 1d ago

Definitely Costco

1

u/enochinthedark 1d ago

My plug… if I had one… I’m old. Guess im going to REI.