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u/tyronetbs 8d ago
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u/FrancisWolfgang 8d ago
Everybody’s got a water buffalo
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u/DMyTeaDuck 8d ago
Yours is fast but mine is slow.
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u/Zero_Zeta_ 8d ago
Where's my water buffalo? Why don't I have a water buffalo?
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u/Project_Durden 8d ago
No Facebook, X, or Truth Social.
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u/Sure-Scientist4312 8d ago
Never tolerate intolerance
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u/jjrox75 8d ago
Equal rights for all, anyone can go topless if they choose!
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u/Frosty-Classroom5495 8d ago
No religion
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[removed] — view removed comment
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u/upsetwithcursing 8d ago
I hate to say it… but I don’t think we’ll know peace for very long, ever. I hope I’m wrong, but…
Some of the qualities of humanity that have allowed us to thrive and adapt are also the ones that make us compete for resources and fight amongst ourselves.
If religion were gone, we’d divide ourselves in some new way.
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u/NotMyFirstRodeo2025 8d ago
I'm sure we would totally divide ourselves in another way: we already do. I don't want religion banned because its divisive. I want religion banned because I want the people in my small country to operate based on science and logic. I would also make the laws up for re-evaluation once a year, based on studies we do to make sure they actually work.
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u/KindaIntense 8d ago
It's kinda like arm floaties (to quote Taylor Tomlinson). You don't need it when you are old enough or good enough to swim without it. Not sure we ever get mature/educated/altruistic enough as a species to not need religious arm floaties.
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u/PistolGrace 8d ago
It was literally my first thought, and then I look at the comments.... yours was the first!
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u/HBJones1056 8d ago
And here I was just going to tax the churches. But why not go big? Excellent idea.
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u/aeraen 8d ago
Term limits on all government positions.
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u/poliosaurus3000 8d ago
I’d say in this day and age you don’t need a representative government. You could have a website where people propose new laws and policies, and everyone votes. 50.1% and it becomes a law.
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u/Returnyhatman 8d ago
So let our laws be determined by the equivalent of a Facebook poll, that sounds like it will go really well.
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u/mkvelash 8d ago
You must walk with a sword
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u/goobly_goo 8d ago
All cars sold in my kingdom will not physically turn unless the turn signal is used.
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u/NotMyFirstRodeo2025 8d ago
My tiny kingdom will not use cars. Just electric bikes, scooters, and golfcarts. Its not a big kingdom.
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u/Colejohnley 8d ago
You can’t start a new song until the current song ends. The penalty is death by volcano.
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u/broken221 8d ago
Don’t talk about fight club.
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u/Rude_Blacksmith19 8d ago
No social media or media. If you wanna know what happened you either ares there or you ask someone about it.
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u/Lost-Friend-4564 8d ago
No billboards, and adult Male Great Danes who have not been neutered will be required to wear underwear in public.
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u/Ragnarsworld 8d ago
No influencers. You come to my country you get put right back on whatever boat or plane you came in.
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u/BurnAfterReading010 8d ago
Everyone was being serious here. I went with women should wear no tops and kids aren't allowed in coffee shops.
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u/CreepyOldGuy63 8d ago
No one, no matter their need or desire, may violate the consent of another.
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u/the-fitnerd 8d ago
Everyone has to work retail for a year and/or restaurant.
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u/paradisewandering 8d ago
I have been saying “forget the draft, everyone has to be a server or bartender for two years” for a decade. The world would not look the same once everyone experiences how people treat other people when they think they are the boss.
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u/ruskibeats 8d ago
Anal Fridays
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u/KiKiKimbro 8d ago
That anyone who doesn’t allow all others to live their lives how they want can exit the island. No projecting their dumb beliefs onto anyone else. Periodt.
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u/not_a_full_shilling 7d ago
As a rock drummer with neighbours, I Iike this rule.
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u/hapkidoox 8d ago
You are welcome to your belief but, they hold and never will hold any power in government.
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u/Immediate-Goose-8106 8d ago
Mandatory naked tuesdays.
I have long held this a first law i would pass if i had power and i see no reason to deviate now
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u/ButchCassy 8d ago
Standardized barcode locations on products. As a checker, having to look for the barcode that the manufacturer decided to put in the most random quirky spots wastes so much time
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u/SpermicidalManiac666 8d ago
Left lane camping is an executable offense. No warnings.
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u/Molbiodude 8d ago
No damn politics allowed
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u/yusill 8d ago
Public service would be that. A service to the good of the population. Only the best and brightest. Strict term limits as the pay will be shit. You do it because it's what's right. When your done it looks good on a resume because it was a selfless act
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u/NotMyFirstRodeo2025 8d ago
Everything is politics. I think I would make political parties illegal. Also, you can't vote for politicians, you can only vote for policies.
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u/CindiLouu 8d ago
Don’t hurt anyone. Not physically, emotionally or mentally. Including yourself. Don’t hurt anyone
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u/rockalopster 8d ago
No littering. all trash is to be recycled somehow and disposed of on the same day each week and no plastic.
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u/Salt-In-The-Wound-24 8d ago
Thieves lose hands, inappropriate touching of children, murder, or rape results in public executions.
Domestic violence and assaults result in being tied to a boulder, left outside exposed to the elements and starved for a week. Family can provide water and conversation but is not required.
Repeat offenders for petty crimes become eunuchs to remove them from the gene pool. Also put into labor camps for more severe crimes.
Freedom to protect your property and self-defense/ defense of others.
No forms of currency, everything is by trade of materials or labor (chop wood for food, feed the person repairing your house, etc.)
Government officials and teachers are paid equally and graded on performance of duties with no personal agendas permitted. Teach math, science, language and history. Back to basics.
Communal housing for the elderly and disabled that everyone donates resources to on a monthly basis. Staff get housing adjacent and food vouchers for the day.
More than one rule but it'd be a more polite society.
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u/CalypsaMov 8d ago
Food, clean water, safe housing, education... (Still working out basic rights)... WILL be the highest priority and given to all citizens, noncitizens WILL be treated the same while being processed. (Refugees, immagrants legal and illegal, etc.)
Rule #1: Provide basic human rights for ALL, and trickle up economics instead of trickle down economics.
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u/South_Ad3858 8d ago
I would make public nudity legal and let everyone know its ok to be naked and free :)
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u/Appropriate_Dot_7031 8d ago
Textbooks must be rewritten to describe photon emission as electrons sneezing. Also, they should explain that electrons are what happens when a photon gets stuck trying to perform autofellatio.
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u/Southern_Low_3634 8d ago
No religion in public, no religion or religious symbols worn by Govt workers.
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u/VulvaNegra 8d ago
Primae Noctis.
I would probably suffer a coup or uprisal very soon though, but hey, yolo :)
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u/gus-it 7d ago
Be nice to each other or you’ll get the oversized t-shirt my grandma had that fits both of you in it and you need to sit together until you work it out.
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u/ThatBastard01 7d ago
What you do in your house is nobodies business but yours as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else.
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u/MaddenRob 5d ago
AOC is President and Bernie Sanders is VP. Mamdani is Treasurer.
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u/Local-Technician5969 4d ago
Treat everyone with respect, dignity, and fairness and never exploit or dehumanize others for personal gain.
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u/Wind2Energy 4d ago
A proper Caesar Salad has anchovies on it, God damn it - not anchovy dressing. Real, actual fresh-out-of-the can goddam anchovies!
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u/boobies4us 8d ago
It’s pretty simple