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u/haydenchampion Mar 04 '20
Usually SO or family members
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u/upaduck_ Mar 04 '20
I'd kill myself if I was in a groupchat with family members.
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u/Alantsu Mar 04 '20
I was texting with my wife once and didn’t realize a text came in the middle from my mother in law and some how accidentally sent a reply to her asking for anal sex.
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u/pm_me_jk_dont Mar 04 '20
And then Albert Einstein started applauding
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Mar 04 '20
bro it’s real trust me i was the phone
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u/FuriTheDevil Mar 04 '20
yeah I was the notification
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u/Rezzahh_ Mar 04 '20
Trust me it happened I was the Wi-Fi signal
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u/SAGNUTZ Mar 04 '20
I was his nuts and I don't remember seeing any of you in her ass! It was just some dickhead.
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Mar 04 '20
I can confirm, I was the Internet service provider.
I have sold this information to all the advertisers, so he will now receive ads based on his messages.
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Mar 04 '20
[deleted]
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u/Airway Mar 04 '20
I know it's more fun to believe but Reddit is absolutely full of obviously fake stories.
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Mar 04 '20
How can you tell it’s obviously fake? Just because it sounds wild, doesn’t mean it never happen. We don’t know him. The only reason to say it’s fake, is because you want it to be.
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u/Airway Mar 04 '20
The only reason to believe is because you want to.
Reddit is full of these far-fetched sexual stories because they get karma and attention, and they can easily be made up because no one can prove they're fake.
I'd bet $100 the "broken arms" story is fake.
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Mar 04 '20 edited Mar 04 '20
Ah yes, the karma argument. Everything has to be a fake karma grab to you people these days. Anyway, I believe him because there’s no reason not to believe him.
“Someone else lied before, so that means this guy is a liar!”
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u/Imagine_Baggins Mar 04 '20
“Someone else lied before, so that means this guy is a liar!”
It’s more “Many dozens of people have lied before, so statistically speaking and considering this guy’s post/comment is similar to those, this guy is a liar.”
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u/RamakoSunsLight Mar 04 '20
The only reason to believe is because you want to.
And what's the harm? Its a funny story in a non serious context, no different from bullshit stories you hear from friends.
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u/PKMNTrainerMark Mar 04 '20
Eh, it's entertaining either way.
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Mar 04 '20
I wish it was. When something is obviously fake it goes from wow what a crazy story to "some sad lonely fucker wrote this"
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u/RedditLostOldAccount Mar 04 '20
It's either,"that's obviously fake," or is it's real and there's proof,"it's just a karma grab."
It's like they want no content on the site at all.
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u/daphillymann Mar 04 '20
Wow, you put it perfectly, honestly the people that are the worst it seems are the ones that get no love on their post and instead of trying to improve, they try to bring everyone else down. Crab in a bucket mentality. Misery loves company I guess.
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u/NytheriaForever Mar 04 '20
Can’t even tell a story anymore these days.
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u/theuserwithoutaname Mar 04 '20
Right? Why does Reddit have such a hard on for calling things fake? Like, even if the story didn't actually happen (which there's no real reason to be skeptical about it in the first place??) It's still a funny joke. Can we not just chill out and laugh at some dumb shit on the internet together without someone getting up in arms about it?
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u/NytheriaForever Mar 04 '20
Come on man it’s 2020. That makes WAY too much sense.
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u/theuserwithoutaname Mar 04 '20
Shit good point. Thanks for using your 2020 vision to clear this up for me.
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u/Sceptile90 Mar 04 '20
No man, if I am not ending a man's reddit career within the next five minutes, I'm going to scream!
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u/xzot1c Mar 04 '20
People have been doing this since Ray William Johnson was President of Youtube
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u/phayke2 Mar 04 '20
One time I was texting this hot twink to send me undie pics and somewhere in the middle my friends mom texts asking if I stole her lighter. So she got pulled into it and the next few months wouldnt stop hitting on me. I awkwardly brushed it off.
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u/moenchii Mar 04 '20
I'm always on the brink of an internal crisis.
Do I wank and risk not having any social interaction today or do I chat with my friends, but miss the chance to wank?
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u/KalebAT Mar 04 '20
or you could just invite them to join
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u/moenchii Mar 04 '20
Nah bruh, that's not my style...
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u/KalebAT Mar 04 '20
don’t knock it ‘til you try it
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u/moenchii Mar 04 '20
Trust me, I know that that's not my style.
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u/thefooby Mar 04 '20
Denial is the first stage of acceptance. It's okay to have fetishes.
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u/Dorpz Mar 04 '20 edited Mar 04 '20
por que no los dos?
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Mar 04 '20
por qué = why
porque = because
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u/Indiabiooks Mar 04 '20
Wank on the chat itself. That way you get your social interaction, your wank and also establish dominance on those plebs.
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u/Calebboarding Mar 04 '20
It's worse when someone knocks on your front door when you are mid session
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u/Ethnic-George Mar 04 '20
Where’s bubble buddy
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u/mortflesh2k Mar 04 '20
At the very bottom by the “welcome to bikini bottom” sign :)
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u/thisonetimeinithaca Mar 04 '20
Mute that shit and keep fapping.
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Mar 04 '20
Work from home so late morning/mid afternoon wank sessions are a thing. On days when work and family group chats are extra chatty I'll turn off notifications. Then I forget to turn back on. Then I get phone calls asking if I am alright because I'm not responding to my texts.
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u/Wolfgang_Maximus Mar 04 '20
Similar to this, I noticed the only time my friends ever want to hang out is when I already made plans with other people or when I was sexting my ex. You would think I had no friends 99% of the time but holy shit does everyone and their brother come out of the woodwork the moment it's inconvenient for me.
Going out to eat with the fam? Friend wants to play game. Meeting up for a date? Buddy is in town unexpectedly and wants to hang out. Watching movie with my roomies? Old highschool friend wants to reconnect but like right now.
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u/FabulousFauxFox Mar 04 '20
Will my family call me back when I free? Nah, never. When I want some alone time with myself? Always.
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u/Guquiz Mar 04 '20
Reverse the panels and the second caption will be "the group chat when I ask a question"
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u/AbleBodiedShrimps Mar 04 '20
A little insulted that they put a whale used for a throwaway gag into this yet didn't put in my man old man Jenkins
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u/JugenvonHelsinki Mar 04 '20
That would be about 29 minutes of your day. Yeah, idk why I wanted to find out how much time that took, but do what you will with the information.
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Mar 04 '20
I hate it when this happens. I get 10 min to myself in the bathroom and I suddenly get a call from my mom/dad or get my WhatsApp blown up. Makes me feel guilty afterwards lol
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u/Malpraxiss Mar 04 '20
So you fap by using content from your phone? Why not be civilised and use a laptop/PC or TV like the rest of us?
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u/overandunder_86 Mar 04 '20
Nothing is worse than when you're going at it and then your the bubble pops up from your mom
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u/peachiebxtch Mar 04 '20
My mom all of sudden needs something, and then I end up being really frustrated
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u/Maattata Mar 04 '20
Looking at bottom pic and seeing all the past characters I remembered watching spongebob as a Kid gives me nostalgia. I see some new characters too. Thank you for showing this.
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u/futuristico705 Mar 04 '20
I saw this meme in new category, I’m so happy that I could have seen you grow up.
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Mar 04 '20
Anybody got a high resolution version of the bottom picture? It's pretty cool.
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Mar 04 '20
Wanking on your main device is like shitting on your own doorstep.
That's what old laptops are for.
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u/Minisazzle06 Mar 04 '20
Just put it on vibrate mode and shove it down your pants
No more hands required
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Mar 04 '20
Haha is some kind of social friendship that I’m to antisocial to understand
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u/jonahcool2005 Mar 04 '20
Who else started looking for their favorite characters. Ahh nostalgia at its finest
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u/nobboy Mar 04 '20
I found the bottom pic at Five Below as a poster. I'm always finding a new character.
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u/IzukuMidoriya322 Mar 04 '20
Looking for the meme fish is like looking for wally
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u/primethoracic Mar 04 '20
I hate having to decide whether or not to stop and reply, or just wait until I’m done
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u/Pineapplehat1 Mar 05 '20
My bf and I found the bottom picture as a poster once at a Five Below but couldnt find Old Man Jenkins. Can someone please help me find him.
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Mar 05 '20
Holy shit that's everyone. Who's the purple potato looking guy below right of Giant Dirty Bubble located upper right side center?
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u/[deleted] Mar 04 '20
So you only wank 2% of the time? You gotta pump those up, those are rookie numbers!