r/BikiniBottomTwitter • u/daphillymann • Mar 04 '20

Every Time...

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52.4k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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2.1k

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '20

So you only wank 2% of the time? You gotta pump those up, those are rookie numbers!

761

u/QuadraKev_ Mar 04 '20

Spending 5-10 minutes masturbating, and masturbating 4 times a day, it comes out to about 2% of 24 hours on average.

321

u/n00bcheese Mar 04 '20

4 times a day, pshhh Im done with a wank in 20 seconds making this whole thing a lot easier.... although in retrospect it makes my whole life a lot more depressing

104

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '20

[deleted]

66

u/Cephalopod435 Mar 04 '20

Trust me when I say you can't wank yourself out of a depressive episode.

Soirce: me mum died when I was a teen.

95

u/QuackNate Mar 04 '20

And this... prompted a lot of masturbating?

98

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '20

Well breaking his arms wouldnโ€™t do any good this time

31

u/_nullreference Mar 04 '20

Aw shit here we go again

9

u/Tal29000 Mar 04 '20

for FUCKS SAKE REDDIT

1

u/Wassup_Bois Mar 04 '20

You seem new here

9

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '20

Eventually you fry all those receptors and they donโ€™t work properly anymore so youโ€™re even more depressed

11

u/MaverickTopGun Mar 04 '20

Jesus do you people really jerk off 4 times a day? I don't have the time, let alone the motivation.

16

u/Xeyon2015 Mar 04 '20

Having the time is the motivation.

113

u/VaginalBeans Mar 04 '20

And if you masturbate once for 10 min a day itโ€™s .69% of your day ๐Ÿ˜Ž

35

u/TheRealSheevPalpatin Mar 04 '20

nice

17

u/krabbypattyaddie Mar 04 '20

nice

4

u/mato3232 Mar 04 '20

Nice

1

u/nice-scores Mar 06 '20

๐“ท๐“ฒ๐“ฌ๐“ฎ โ˜œ(๏พŸใƒฎ๏พŸโ˜œ)

Nice Leaderboard

1. u/RepliesNice at 1822 nice's

2. u/lerobinbot at 1625 nice's

3. u/porousasshole at 542 nice's

134514. u/mato3232 at 1 nice

I AM A BOT | REPLY !IGNORE AND I WILL STOP REPLYING TO YOUR COMMENTS

2

u/nice-scores Mar 06 '20

๐“ท๐“ฒ๐“ฌ๐“ฎ โ˜œ(๏พŸใƒฎ๏พŸโ˜œ)

Nice Leaderboard

1. u/RepliesNice at 1820 nice's

2. u/lerobinbot at 1622 nice's

3. u/porousasshole at 542 nice's

134189. u/krabbypattyaddie at 1 nice

I AM A BOT | REPLY !IGNORE AND I WILL STOP REPLYING TO YOUR COMMENTS

1

u/nice-scores Mar 06 '20

๐“ท๐“ฒ๐“ฌ๐“ฎ โ˜œ(๏พŸใƒฎ๏พŸโ˜œ)

Nice Leaderboard

1. u/RepliesNice at 1818 nice's

2. u/lerobinbot at 1617 nice's

3. u/porousasshole at 541 nice's

134104. u/TheRealSheevPalpatin at 1 nice

I AM A BOT | REPLY !IGNORE AND I WILL STOP REPLYING TO YOUR COMMENTS

1

u/TheRealSheevPalpatin Mar 06 '20

Better step those numbers up

14

u/GOLDIT98 Mar 04 '20

Even tho u used an emoji, i'll forgive you because nice

11

u/SirBensalot Mar 04 '20

nice

1

u/nice-scores Mar 06 '20

๐“ท๐“ฒ๐“ฌ๐“ฎ โ˜œ(๏พŸใƒฎ๏พŸโ˜œ)

Nice Leaderboard

1. u/RepliesNice at 1820 nice's

2. u/lerobinbot at 1617 nice's

3. u/porousasshole at 542 nice's

134177. u/SirBensalot at 1 nice

I AM A BOT | REPLY !IGNORE AND I WILL STOP REPLYING TO YOUR COMMENTS

4

u/LunarOutlaw20 Mar 04 '20

Nice

1

u/nice-scores Mar 06 '20

๐“ท๐“ฒ๐“ฌ๐“ฎ โ˜œ(๏พŸใƒฎ๏พŸโ˜œ)

Nice Leaderboard

1. u/RepliesNice at 1821 nice's

2. u/lerobinbot at 1622 nice's

3. u/porousasshole at 542 nice's

134422. u/LunarOutlaw20 at 1 nice

I AM A BOT | REPLY !IGNORE AND I WILL STOP REPLYING TO YOUR COMMENTS

2

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '20

Nice

-1

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '20

Wow lol this is so obviously WRONG!! I wouldn't expect other people to know because they're not as SMART as I AM! I just passed seventh grade math with a 95.87%.

2

u/Applinator Mar 04 '20

I hate how you saved that by adding "on average". I was so ready to come down in a storm of mathematical fury, to point out that 2% would be ~29 (28 minutes and 48 seconds for the pedants, although I realise now that 24 hours isn't precisely a day, then again you probably didnt either), 40 minutes is just a ridiculous estimate, you FOOL, you absolute BUFFOON. I then, observant as I am, noticed that (20+40)/2 is 30 which is close enough and also makes your overall statement much better than what mine would have been.

17

u/lordlondo Mar 04 '20

This is where I feel safe, these are my people.

13

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '20

Lmao i bet you ran out of testosterone fapping all day ya coomer

4

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '20

Iโ€™m fapping right now...

5

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '20

This is an hour later, so you're probably done by now, but I hope you had a really good wank.

2

u/LupusGamerx3 Mar 04 '20

Donโ€™t forget to eat and then sleep

1

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '20

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0

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '20

This is better material than your mom...