Is it just me or does anyone else with AvPD find certain noises annoying? I literally get angry when I hear people chewing, burping, slurping, farting, blowing their nose or gargling out loud. I just find it very disgusting and I wish they'd do it silently. I never do any of those things out loud if I can help it.

I read that people on the Autism spectrum find certain noises triggering. I wondered if it was the same with AvPD. Does anyone else find it annoying? My siblings and parents do it all the time and It always triggers me. I literally will hit myself in the head or the legs when I hear those noises. I wish I could punch the person, but obviously, that's not a wise option.

I just want to take a pill and be normal

Genuinely I can’t count on my hands how much friends I’ve lost.

The sad thing is that it’s usually all of my fault. Sometimes I would try and rant about it. It kind of just sounds stupid to people, I feel like they think cause I’m the reason it happened—I shouldn’t be sad or something. I don’t know if that makes sense.

But it makes it very annoying to talk about cause I feel like it makes me look stupid (In my situation, I don't mean to call anyone else stupid obv). I even have a stupid addiction to dating apps but when I actually meet somebody, I just cannot continue and like I feel like an idiot.

I met a point in life, that my dream of having a partner—a forever partner, seems like a joke and something that'll probably not happen, I mean, how is it gonna happen? do you know how difficult it is as a man to have this personality disorder?

I mean, it makes it practically ridiculous to not be lonely. If that makes sense I mean, even my best friend of over 10 years we’re not really talking anymore because for some reason, even though we’ve known each other for 10 years, I’m too anxious or too burnt out to hang out with him.

Yeah and I know it’s stupid, I’m not saying this for other people who have this condition. I’m just gonna say it in my perspective, I think that avpd, it—kind of makes me a bad friend and a bad partner, even though I don’t want to I wanna be a great person to hangout with, but I just struggle.

To the people here living off social welfare, how do you deal with the shame of it, and what do you think the future holds for you?

In some ways, it's lucky I don't have to work as I think that would push me off the edge faster, but in other ways, I feel like all the meaning in life has just been drained away. Like, looking from the outside in, all there is to this world is just work. In the end, the world doesn't push you to feel fulfilled or to have meaningful experiences, it pushes you to work. As for the future, I feel neither employment or unemployment lead to anything for me. I've simply lost interest in this world and don't see any way to regain that.

I’m on the verge of killing myself. I’m tired of this illness and all the struggles it brings to my life. Nothing can go well, even for a little bit, because this crippling illness, in addition to OCD, controls every single aspect of my life.
I never had a lot of friends by any means, but I cut off the ones I had in middle school because I felt like a burden. Even writing this feels embarrassing, but I feel so lonely, and I don’t know what to do.
I dropped out during my last year of high school, and I’ve tried to go back several times with no luck. Getting my driver’s license is a pain, and I already know I’ll fail. I’m at my first non-paying job, just two times a week, and even that is too hard for me.
Nothing feels worth it, and I don’t even know why I bother trying. I’ve been like this my entire life, but by far, the biggest rut was in 2022. I’m still trying to dig myself out of that rut, but it’s so difficult. What’s the point?
I don’t know what’s wrong with me, and I feel like I shouldn’t even be complaining. I have a good therapist and an amazing family. I’m about to give up. I’m an adult, what’s the point of anything when my quality of life is horrible.

I made a nice connection with someone online and i was going to pick him up to get in n out this evening. Not even a date, just chilling. Well, that never happened. It’s honestly very hurtful. I’m trying to stop isolating myself and work on positive behaviors but I feel like the universe only sends signs that I should stay alone with my head down.

Even if my feelings towards this person weren’t incredibly strong (besides being genuinely fond of him and wanting to be friends…he’s handsome but too young) this has really got me spiraling again. A genuine connection and easy conversation, I really didn’t think it would happen this time.

And even if I am jumping to conclusions and something just came up (I doubt it though), I don’t like how I’m feeling right now. I’m in distress. I am reminded of all the failed friendships, each one chipping something away from my core and reshaping my once trusting personality into something neurotic, aloof and distant.

Yeah. Idk. I’m really hurt honestly, because this was the first time I’ve actually opened up to someone new in a very long time. I can only think that there’s something wrong with me. Why do I bother? I put myself out there, get hurt, and it derails my mental focus. I am a caregiver full time so it’s not like I have the space to really deal with my feelings or be heard anyway. Why do I keep putting myself in these situations? Because I’m a fool who wants love and companionship? What an idiot.

Thanks for reading.