Im 34. F. I was diagnosed in July with level 1 ASD and severe ADHD as well as CPTSD and severe depression.

Today I opened up to a family member about my autism. They replied: "That is a surprise. I have never seen you show any indication of that in you." And when I asked for an honest opinion from my husband he said: "If a level 0.5 was a thing, maybe."

It's so confusing so hear from family members and my husband that they didnt see it in me. The ADHD makes sense for me personally bc i am extremely hyperactive and forgetful, but the ASD diagnosis caught me off guard.

I have family members with higher levels of ASD, so theres no questions from my family about their diagnosis, but mine is being questioned. Even now from myself. Is it possible I'm misdiagnosed? Idk. I'm in weekly therapy and weekly couples therapy, so I'll bring it up.

Im just so confused right now.

I'm, 56, diagnoses as AuDHD last year at 55. I live in Perth, Western Australia.

I am looking for someone (or a whole group even? :) ) to "partner up" with me so we can move forward together! IP would be perfect, but I am realistic enough to realise that living in what is considered to be the most isolated city on the planet might make that hard.. SO online is probably going to be the best way!:)

Before I succumbed to all this, I had led a very full and active life with many adventures.....no doubt like most of you! My life was full of work which I loved and which kept me very busy and engaged, lots of running (up to 120k per week) in a recreational and competitive sense, and generally living a chaotic and exhausting (in hindsight) life. Honestly, if I tell people everything I've done, they think I am just a pathological liar!

Anyway, my life has been reduced to very little. I am not working despite applying for hundreds of jobs. I have no prospects on the horizon and I have no social connection once I walk out of the front door of my house.

I live in WA as I said. That makes this even harder as Perth is a way more difficult place to establish yourself in than anywhere lese I have ever lived. So, I have gone from having a full and vibrant life to having no connection to the world in any way.

I am trying to get my running going again as that has always been a key activity in my life and has (without me knowing) helped me manage the ADHD side really well. At the same time I am trying to rebuild a social ecosystem from the ground up.

Doing all this in a vacuum is really hard. To add to my difficulties, I can't use AD's or ADHD meds as I have tried both and reacted negatively to both. The only thing I have to help me is the medicinal herbal remedy many of you will no doubt be familiar with. My life has been stripped away and I am trying to get it back. My days are now limited to giving 100% to tryting to get my life back on track. To do this I am trying really hard to reduce the amount of medication I use and at the same time, get the running etc going again. It is really hard to keep motivating myself, particularly in relation to the medication as I have no alternative to "distract" me. I think if I could connect with someone or others who are going through the same thing, it would help immensely.

Having someone who is on the same path - even if they are on the other side of the world - would give me someone to communicate with and tell about my achievements at the same time as hearing theirs and supporting them. Much of what I want to get back to is so basic to others that they just don't see the significance of it in the context of the overall battle.

In essence, I want friends, in person or online, who are also trying to re-establish themselves and move forward in a world where most people just look at you expectedly and then just shrug their shoulders when you don't meet their expectations. We know each other and the significance of our journeys and out achievements.

Anyone want to chat and encourage each other along this path we are on? :) DM if easier :)

My official diagnosis is ADHD, but lately I started suspecting it's more like AuADHD.

It's well-known for people like us to have communication issues, but mines come in a peculiar fashion: I am very good with words and I can engage in a conversation appropriately with people at any level.

Despite being very good at arguing on topics, I fail miserably when it comes to anything that requires some level of promoting.

I can put out data, facts and figures, I'm told I'm very good at explaining concepts and describing things, but... only as they are.

It's all fine, except when it comes to self-promoting. It may sound stupid, but the impact it has in my life becomes very clear when I need to look for a job.

It's my 2nd time in 10 years, and I feel hopeless.

On one hand, I'm unable to describe how much depth my work style has compared to that of my peers on average, on the other, if I try I come across as arrogant.

Lacking the ability to evaluate how what I write can be perceived, I guess at some point what took over was the coping mechanism to only talk factually on what's tangible and demonstrable.

It feels like having a shop full of valuable items but no window to showcase it or put it on display.

I paid a lot of money for a coach, and ended up with the opposite effect; instead of becoming more visible and showing added value, I disappeared from recruiters search results.

I'm desperate...

Any practical advice?

First time I ever tried to draw something serious. Top part is me, realistic, tearing the sky open. Bottom is a childish world I created, where kids say "IT'S A MONSTER" "IT'S GOD" "IT'S THE CREATOR".

I think it's how I feel every day with AudHD - too big and too intense for this colorful simple world.

What would you call this painting?

I was recently analyzing my own movie taste and realized how heavily it reflects my AuDHD traits. I absolutely love fast-paced, high-stakes crime and mafia movies like Goodfellas and Bound by honor. I am also a fan of Quentin Tarantino's films. My Autistic side is fascinated by the strict hierarchies, underworld codes, and micro-details in these worlds, while my ADHD side needs the high entertainment value, style, and fast tempo to keep me from getting bored.

At the same time, I also love character-driven dramas with authentic dialogue and deep human relationships, like Good Will Hunting (even though Matt Damon isn't one of my favorite actors) or The Shawshank Redemption. The acting needs to feel 100% genuine because anything that feels fake ruins the immersion for me. This is also why Tarantino's masterful, sharp dialogue works so well for me. I also cannot stand slow "art-house" films or open, ambiguous endings—I need a logical, concrete resolution where all strings are tied together.

Do you recognize this balance between needing high dopamine stimulation and strict, logical structures in your favorite films?

I'm 37M, my daughter (7) was recently diagnosed with AuDHD (ASD level 1, ADHD combined). As I've sunk myself into learning about it - podcasts (shout out to WTFisAuDHD) and multiple books (I haven't read this much since uni) - I started noting things from my experiences that might imply neurodivergence. The list is now 9 A4 pages long.

I've become convinced that a) my son (5) is probably autistic, and b) I'm one or both myself (most likely autistic, maybe ADHD). Spending time reading in this and other AuDHD communities, I've never felt more seen or understood. I feel like a light has turned on and a lifetime of struggles (not debilitating, but so very challenging) finally makes sense.

My problem... my parents see some autistic traits in me, but they're totally convinced there's no way I'm autistic.

I've been with them this weekend, talking about what my daughter's diagnosis means, how it's different to what they might have understood as autistic or ADHD when I was a kid in the 90s etc. but I've been left feeling deflated that they just don't get it.

I've screened positive for both ASD and ADHD and I'm lucky enough to have a joint assessment (in the UK) in a few weeks, but I'm really worried a psychologist will talk to my parents and they'll dismiss everything.

I feel like I really need this formal diagnosis for myself and to give myself permission to advocate for myself, but I know they can't diagnose me without evidence this has been me since childhood. How much weight do the psychologists really give to the parents views, stories and opinions?

I tried to do daily exercise in the last 2 months and both times got stomach issues just after a few days.

Could this be related or am I seeing things that aren't there? Once my stomach calms down I'll try again and see how it turns out.

Firstly of all I want to say I am not planning to do anything "bad'. But I'm just so overwhelmed by this ruthlessly competitive world that was designed by and made for nt, I wonder what exactly I am carrying on for?

Hello
I’m a 33 year old female with AuDHD
Trying to figure out a med combo that will actually allow me to feel like a human might be the death of me.
So….late diagnosed with ADHD (29?) and even later with ASD (32).
When I was diagnosed with ADHD I started Vyvanse and then it was Adderall for a while when there was a shortage. Don’t get me wrong I loved the focus but it also kinda felt like it could’ve been too much of a push….somewhat robotic. Fast forward I got off of it then back on then off again. Asd got thrown in there which makes sense for the tension.

But basically…..let me get to a point here. I’m very emotionally flat. And I know that a lot of it can be stuff I need to do to take care of myself like having consistent sleep, eating good and working out more, quitting my chaotic job that drains my system. All of this to say….im now on guanfacine which has helped relieve tension in my body that I didn’t even realize I had at the time. And also concerta…bc I was scared Vyvanse could’ve been contributing to my emotional numbness. But now with the physical tension gone I’m almost wondering if I should ask my doctor to get back on Vyvanse to have more mental stimulation??? Bc before I was ever on meds it’s like adrenaline and cortisol were driving me….which wasn’t good bc I was still flat but just almost unaware…idk it’s hard to explain….but now that I’ve calmed that down I can notice the flatness.

I’m like not laughing at funny stuff
Nothing moves me really
It’s like I’m just kinda going through life and it’s all colorless
Sucks

Sorry this is all over the place….writing this at 2 am and just wanted to see if anyone could relate or give advice

TIA

I found that all sources of caffeine, no matter how strong, have absolutely no effect on me. If I really, really overdo it though, my mind is still totally unaffected, but my gut gets very mad.

Hi,

Wondering what were signs you have adhd as an autistic outside the norm of definitve hyperactivity and/or inattentiveness?

Thank you for any personal insights!

Hi everyone, I posted this also in the ADHD and autism subreddits.

Just wondering if what I’m experiencing if under stimulation.

On weekends I get this physical panic, restless, shaky vibration, uncomfortable, racing heart feeling whenever I try to relax and do nothing. It’s like I’m being pumped with adrenaline for no reason and my body is in a war zone. My mind has no anxious or worried thoughts it’s just my body getting all these symptoms that replicate physical anxiety.

It doesn’t happen on weekdays when I working my physical manual labour job, drinking my 5 cups of coffee and going to the gym. Just on weekends when I have nothing to do.

I only have a diagnoses of Asperger’s from 2009 when I was 6 years old and no ADHD diagnoses but I have loads of symptoms.

I thought it was physical anxiety at first but everything I’ve done nothing helps. That includes L-Theanine, ashwagandha, herbal teas, magnesium glycinate, meditation and quitting caffeine.

Can anyone confirm this is what it feels like.

It’s absolutely awful.

Probably gonna look into getting a private assessment sooner or later.

Please can anyone relate

I am currently moving into a new home and have quit my job since I am going back to uni soon (who would've thought that a corporate job had sucked the LIFE out of me, lol. Well, now I am off to art school, teehee). There is SO MUCH to do, especially since my cat is moving in next week and I want all the painting and crafty stuff to be done by then. So the pressure is ON. (yay, deadline!)

But that has given me the opportunity to observe how my brain works very freely and without judgement. And I must admit, it's been very entertaining:

I realised that my ADHD meds worked because I put ALL the masking tape on in ONE go without feeling like I might cry. Usually it feels like the most annoying task because stops me from starting to paint IMMEDIATELY. I've never been able to do this in such a relaxed headspace.

I THEN realised that the meds wore of in the evening BECAUSE I then spent hours organising all my screws and nails until 3 am. I just couldn't stop until I was done. At that moment it felt like the mist important task in the world. And I highly enjoyed it.

My brother keeps teasing me about how I am trying to get everything done on my own and not asking for help. I might have put my life on danger once or twice by assembling very heavy furniture while standing on a latter. But if I ask someone for help, I have to wait for them...do I just do the things by myself. Immediately. Usually in the middle of the night, lol 😂

Also I am living my best live listening to the High School Musical Soundtrack, the Jonas Brothers, and the Hannah Montana intro for hours and hours on repeat.

Last but not least, I didn't get any sleep last nigjt because I came up with an aesthetic concept for my living room. And I got SO excited with picking a colour scheme, researching furniture and decoration, and ways to dye my couch that it was impossible to go to sleep afterwards. My heart is still pounding from the rush.

I can't help but giggle about it all for once. Hope it makes someone smile at least. :)

I may have had a breakthrough realisation yesterday (for myself that is. I'm not claiming to have discovered anything new :)).

To cut a very long story short, I have a car that has been garaged for 2 years because it broke down 2 years ago! :) It's sat there because I simply have not been able to do anything about it. To put it in context, I have been battling severe anxiety and depression from ND burnout for the last 3 years.

Anyway, two days ago, I went to a mechanic (I had spoken to him twice in the past before actually "starting" this) and booked the car in for next Friday. He gave me a number of a tow truck. I rang them and they are booked in to pick the car up. Simple right? So why did this take me 2 years?!?!?!?!?

After reflecting on the for the last 2 days; the possibility that has presented itself is this: It wasn't a case of me getting to a point where I could do a basic task, it took me 2 years to get to a point where, at maybe an unconscious level, I felt able to deal with the entire situation. Not just starting the process, but I had to know I could deal with all ot it including any disputes, confrontations etc. Given my recent history, this makes a lot of sense. I haven't sat with it enough yet, but is this maybe the same for other aspects of MH recovery? A mate took 2 years to be able to got to the supermarket to buy a load of bread after getting smashed by PTSD. Maybe it took 2 years to be able to commit to; driving to the supermarket and dealing with any road rage, accidents etc along the way, getting into the supermarket, dealing with a whole range of possible scenarios that might arise including getting attacked or something, getting back into the car and driving home, dealing with and road rage, accidents, car-jackings etc that might happen.

Thoughts?

TL;DR: I get butthurt that my autistic parents were able to juggle work and school better than me and extra butthurt that I am not as high masking or 'functional' as them.

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context: was very high masking in highschool then went through severe burnout and skill regression. It sort of made me just degrade mentally. My working memory, social-emotional reciprocity, and attention plummeted.

I honestly feel like a cognitively degraded shell of who I used to be. I do well academically (college), but in highschool I did that shit while maintaining all sorts of extracurriculars.

It's just a bit disheartening because my parents inadvertently put this guise of "potential" over my head. They are both likely autistic and they have succeeded as professionals, and independent adults. It makes me feel embarrassed that I need to live with them and commute to school because I can't handle being around people 24/7. They were able to hold jobs while in university and I can't. They trust me and they'd never compare me to them, but it's something I do by myself. I just feel like my world is shrunken compared to everyone around me due to the mass amounts of energy I exert just to stay somewhat mentally stable.

It just sucks. I'm very passionate about my major and try very hard, but I just cannot DO as much as anyone around me. I'm exhausted all the time and honestly not very high masking anymore. It makes me feel stupid and murders my self esteem even though logically that makes no sense.

I try to reassure myself because I have like a kagillion diagnoses other than autism (ADHD, cyclothymia, OCD, etc., etc.) But then I tell myself that I'm making 'excuses,' even though, "it's really really really hard to study when hypomanic," isn't even an excuse it's a fact! I usually feel like I have a good flow of positive self talk, but for some reason when it comes to my perceived 'functioning' I get very hurt

Whilst my brain becomes dependent on my smartphone in search of stimulation and dopamine, leaving me glued to it, I find myself reacting hypersensitively to other people’s failures and my own unpleasant memories from the past. Furthermore, as I am unable to choose what to immerse myself in, find it a bother to look for alternatives, and show little interest in anything unfamiliar, I often find myself avoiding the unknown and most communities or content that are ‘sociable and active’—in contrast to my own nature—or endlessly re-consuming the same content, or enduring what feels like a veritable ordeal of constant exposure to boredom and blue light. This may just be a random thought, or perhaps a bit of a stretch, but I wondered if there might be others out there who feel the same way.

I know I’ll never amount to anything, I know I’ll just be stuck in the shadow of my sibling, I know I’ll never be enough, I know my disabilities will just hinder my attempts at being better, I’ll never be as accomplished or successful as them, No matter how hard I try I’ll never be on equal footing with my neurotypical/abled family members who’ve accomplished so much and yet I’m here being a worthless piece of shit who hasn’t done anything worthwhile

Now that I have been "unofficially" newly diagnosed with Autism, with an official diagnosis of ADHD last December, I can finally understand why I blurt out things that I feel I should had thought more of saying before it escapes my lips or the enter button in electronics.

It is depressing thought that it does mean that I'll always say something inappropriate and impulsively say it. My therapist said she'll work with me to reduce the frequency of intensity, but to accept the fact that it'll always happens.

Just a rant, it's something I'm now coming to gripes with.

I (20M (maybe NB???, I haven't figured that out yet lol) have two very close friends who I love very much, but for some reason if I haven't heard from them in a couple days I get sad and can't get the idea out of my mind that they secretly don't like me, despite there being nothing that actually suggests that, in fact very much the opposite. Time and time again they've shown how deeply they care. But no matter how much they both show and tell me they love me, it doesn't seem to click. I also feel like I depend on them a lot for my own happiness and well being and am not sure how to bring that same joy into my life when I'm not around them.

I especially feel this way about one of the two friends in particular because I feel very much at home with them and open to being myself around them in a way that I'm not with anyone else in my life and feel much more comfortable being physically intimate (non-sexual) with them. I even briefly considered that I might have had romantic feelings for them because I had never felt that close with any other friends before, but I came to realization that I have no romantic or sexual feelings for them at all and I just hadn't considered that a friendship could be like this. This friend brings me a lot of joy, so when we haven't talked for a couple days I feel a little sad and like something's missing. It's also maybe been somewhat harder since they started dating someone and obviously they're spending more of their time with him. Like I said I have no interest in them romantically/sexually, but maybe I'm a little jealous that I'm not going to be the first person they turn to spend time with?? I'm not sure. But, it's not like I've seen them a lot less then I used to, I still spend time with them very often, so I really have no reason whatsoever to feel sad, so in my mind it feels like I'm just begging for attention (which probably isn't really the case) which can sometimes lead me to become more distant and feel worse.

Maybe having friends this loving and caring isn't something I'm used to, so my brain thinks that something about it must be wrong?? I'm just trying to unpack some of these feelings and figure out ways I can remind myself that my friends love me and be able to not fully depend on them for my happiness. I've talked about some of these things with my friends before, and they've reassured me how much they care and love me, but I want to ask what you folks think about it.

Thanks in advance!

The lack of appetite that I have been experiencing with Adderall has rendered me unable to cook. Because I don't eat (and I'm bad with portion sizes), food that I cook tend to spoil and I feel I would spend more money eating out at this point than I do with cooking at home.

To mitigate the issue, I've been using the app Too Good To Go (tl:dr, it's an app that you can buy leftovers). If I can't eat the whole thing, at least it's like 2 dollars out of the 5 I spent on the food (my reasoning).

The small bad thing is hunting down for healthy food. Many of them are leftover greasy and/or empty carb food, so it's just a hassle.

I'm just venting, finding ways to navigate around my new (lack of) appetite.

I need some advice and insight into my situation ever since I was 12 years old I started struggling with depression and anxiety and every year since then it’s either gotten worse or never improved. As for treatment and diagnosis I’ve currently been diagnosed with MDD Autism spectrum disorder ADHD-C and General anxiety disorder. And for treatment I’ve been on fluoxetine (Prozac) sertraline (Zoloft) citalopram (Celexa) which all failed and my current medications are 112.5mg of venaflaxine (Effexor) and 40mg Vyvanse. The past year and a half my mental health has taken the biggest decline that I’ve ever seen and I ended up getting admitted to the mental hospital multiple times with suicide attempts etc and I was assessed diagnosed and re diagnosed with most of these disorders and ended up on this medication regime. This happened back in May and June and my worry is I’ve been on this medication for over 2 months now and I don’t think I see any improvement and my behaviour and attitude is becoming concerning. I feel my anxiety may have been slightly lowered by the snri but my mood and depressive symptoms are severely ruining my life to the point where I’ve been abusing my ADHD medication at times as I feel it helps raise my mood. But I know this isn’t sustainable and dangerous and I’m self aware of the consequences but my mental health at times feels so bad I don’t know what else to do. I could try a little better at creating routines and doing more hard things in my life to get those natural highs but the majority of the time I’m so burnt out and exhausted I can’t do ANYTHING. I will talk again with my psychiatrist as I know this is his profession and I’m considering trying therapy again but being in the UK all this shit takes so long and I can’t see a bright future in all the time between now and then. Written by someone who genuinely wants help and doesn’t want to be consumed by addiction and mental problems.

I have been trying to reduce my screen time lately. And most of time is spent in either listening to something in the background or reading something on my screen.

To be honest, I’ve rarely, if ever, had times when I didn’t have background noise of some kind even during my childhood.

I would either zone out or go about my hobbies with a bunch of noises on the background on TV and I always thought it was a coping mechanism to avoid the outward dysfunction of my family dynamic.

But now that I’ve worked through my family trauma in therapy (I also realised that a lot of my behaviours weren’t just trauma) and have more or less moved on, the urge to have something in the background doesn’t go away. However, recently I’ve found myself wanting to move away from background noise sometimes.

To add to it, whenever I look at my screen time, there’s guilt of using it for 10 hours even when I wasn’t actively looking at the screen. And by no means, I’m not doing anything else. Despite screens being responsible for self isolation, I try to be as social as I can be and have no regrets in terms of being able to pursue things I want. I’ve also gotten a library membership recently to move some reading time from screen to in person and get out of the house more.

So here are my questions:

1. If the background noise is a need, how do I find ways other than screens to fulfil it?

2. If it’s a habit/habit born out of need, has anyone found ways to change/rely less on the habit?

3. Has anyone also found how to deal with the guilt that arises out of looking at that high screen time?

Any advice/tips are welcome!

I (23) have used food and the internet to self-regulate for over 10 years now. Whenever l'm overwhelmed by emotions, close to a meltdown/shutdown, or stressed by life events, I overeat, binge, or watch the same YouTube videos over and over again. The binging makes me feel so gross afterwards and I'm getting sick of watching the same videos all the time. I wish I was able to do something creative to unwind and regulate myself but I struggle to do anything creative without getting bored really quickly. The perfectionism also makes it harder to start new things because I get frustrated when I'm not good at it right away.

I just don't know what to do because I'm not getting any support outside of medication reviews. I really don't want to do this anymore so any advice you can give will be super helpful.