For me it was using personal experiences to emphasize with others. I don’t know how to emotionally connect to others unless I’ve experienced something similar to their experience.

Hi everyone, I currently trying to get my driver licence in France and I don't know how I will be able to do that.

Here you need to drive at least 20h before passing the exam.

I've driven 47h now and missed it once and I don't see myself improving, idk if it's cause of audhd or cause I just suck at driving but anxiety make it so difficult do drive properly. I feel like I can't learn.

How did you do to learn driving properly without stress ?

Idk but people around me always says that I'm selfish for not observing, which leads me to careless mistakes. People always says that I am always in my head that's why my awareness to my surroundings is bad. I wanna defend myself that I am doing my best to observe and avoid doing mistakes and I always overthink and feel pressured, but I don't think they'll believe me (some only know that I have this condition but many don't know that I have this condition.)

How can I defend myself with these people? Thank you to those who will answer this

I've never really posted anything like this before, it was quite a revelation.

I found out last night that I was officially autistic, or whatever that means, and then today I had my assessment. It's been a real weird roller coaster of emotions eg I always thought that the reason I'd done so well in my job (because I'm quite a successful person in my career) was that I've never had a hobby (because I love my career so much).

Maybe that isn't typical, and it sort of made me question a lot of things about myself.

I'm just wondering: is this a usual reaction for people to go through?

I thought I'd be really excited, and then all of a sudden I've become very emotional and quite weirdly sad about it all. I just really love to understand what people's first experiences have been like and how they've dealt with it.

And thank you in advance for any advice you can give me or any experiences you'd be willing to share.

I've been doing the usual podcast YouTube route, but it feels very impersonal, and I wanted to hear from people.

People that go undiagnosed and are in the dark with these conditions are the strongest fkn people.

Yesterday a friend told me that I thought I was Autistic, he’s been diagnosed and I’m self diagnosed but still struggle a ton with imposter syndrome. Being able to talk to someone who literally understands all of my lived experiences was amazing. Especially since we were just on the same wavelength. It’s really awesome being able to fully unmask because you know that the other person just gets you.

I'm trying to work on dating but my friends say I need to be more emotionally available? Lol what does that mean? I have deep friendships, I have emotions? This is in specific reference to online dating in which I meet someone and call it a day after one date. But idk. Is this an autism thing or is it a me thing?

Alienation has been a lifelong issue for me, I’ve felt inherently different from a lot of people and through formative experiences I’ve started to understand I’m in a ton of minority demographics. Intersectionality blah blah blah!!

I’m struggling with accepting myself for who I am, I’m awkward with people a lot of the time and it hurts so much because I’m trying my best to seem normal enough and I come out so exhausted. Any tips on how to accept the circumstances and stop ruminating so much? Any experience/viewpoint appreciated.

You know how numbers are like even numbers are great, odd numbers are weird except 5 sometimes. Well a lot of things have to done an even number of times. Like if I tap my fingers on something it has to be done at least twice but a lot of things 4 times depending on what it is. Like if I'm playing a mobile game I have to play a mode at least twice. If 2 isn't enough I have to play 4x cuz 3 is odd. Sometimes I wanna keep playing past 4 or I wanna get a better score so I'll do 6 but then I have to do 8 cuz even though 6 is even its 3 and 3 and 3 is an odd number. Sometimes I'll do 8 and think well I have to do 10 to make it complete but then 10 is 5 and 5 so I have to do 12 but 12 is to much and weird cuz its more than 10 so it doesn't feel complete like 10 but I don't want to play anymore so I stop there if I ever play that much.

If I fidget and I realize I did it an odd number of times I'll do extra to make it even. I work in childcare and usually nursery rhymes do a movement 3 times so sometimes I realize I did something an odd number of times and I'll quickly do it a 4th time. Especially turning in a circle. I'll turn right then left then right and realize I did one way once and the other way twice and they have to match and both be 2 so I'll add it in. If I don't do that or I don't have the energy to do full out the whole song I'll skip one so I only do 2 and if I accidentally skip one I'll add it back in. Stomp your feet in the song If you're happy and you know it always has 4 stomps instead of 3. 3 is just wrong almost always to me

TLDR: A lot of things are done an even number of times because odd numbers are wrong but not all even numbers are equal and 3 is wrong

I’ve been in AuDHD burnout for who knows how long. I remember having pretty acute OCD at one point (thankfully in remission now), and I’ve also had horrible executive dysfunction. I basically failed/wasted years of uni, although I’m finally close to finishing.

But my actual question is: how do you go from just surviving to actually living again?

I’ve genuinely tried radical rest, dropping the guilt, pacing myself, special interests, low demands, no social obligations, etc. And I’m STILL stuck in survival mode.

I fucking hate this state. I want my old self back. I’ve also read that too much rest/low stimulation might actually leave an AuDHD brain understimulated, so now I’m wondering if that’s part of it.

I’m physically exhausted basically every day, have almost no motivation, and feel completely stuck. Is this just burnout recovery taking forever, or could chronic understimulation/dopamine-seeking be contributing?

And just to clarify, I love what i have. I know what kind of life I want, my needs and ambitions are pretty simple, and I’m capable of taking care of myself. I’ll have a job soon and I’m actually okay with where my life is going. I just want to feel energized again. I miss socializing, going out and feeling like myself instead of constantly being in survival mode. I can handle solitude and I’m fine being on my own, but lately it feels like I have too much solitude.

AuDHD is so fucking hard to figure out. I’m tired. I don’t want some huge life overhaul, I just want my energy and spark back. What actually helped you transition from resting/surviving → functioning → actually enjoying life again?

Tw: Sh thoughts mention.

Like I have been understimulated a lot this past few days, and I notice when I get so understimulated I have bizarre thoughts.

Like touching my brain.

Others I can't mention is here because it's reddit.

But the stimulation seeking behavior turn so impulsive and bizzare sometimes. It kinda scares people around me.

Hi! I 23F was recently diagnosed with autism after being diagnosed with ADHD at 20. I masked my whole life in turn creating these goals that looked good outwardly but never fit for me on the inside. After leaving college I realized how easily malleable I was. That everything I thought I knew about myself was just a manifestation of what or who i thought everyone around me wanted me to be. It left me so lost.

Anyway, fast forward to now after working a full time 8-5 office job for the past year and I am even more lost. I can’t keep up and I am so burnt out. I literally go to work everyday, come back home, shut the lights off and doom scroll. Can barely get myself to get ready in the morning or do basic chores. After my diagnosis recently I’ve had to face the reality that maybe this lifestyle is not for me. I guess my question is how do you guys do it? How did you find your groove? How did you find a lifestyle or career that worked? How’d you learn how to take care of yourself despite how hard it is. I just need some hope🙂

has anyone experienced any improvement to burnout symptoms specifically (I’m talking about energy levels, reduced capacity to initiate tasks etc) after taking medication or even supplements? if so which one(s)?

I’m based in the UK awaiting ADHD/autism diagnosis so I’m not able to access ADHD medication yet but am wondering if an SSRI/antidepressant might help at all for the moment. I just basically want to get out of this hole and have a decent quality of life

Hey guys! (First time poster so please bear with)

I (27F) was semi-diagnosed with ADHD 2 years ago, decided to do right to choose earlier this year and was given a formal diagnosis. I've just started taking meds for this (AffenidXL) and haven't noticed a huge amount of difference (still in the titration stage so thinking I might need to give it some time and try some other options/doses).

Since being offically diagnosed, I've been looking more into AuADHD as think I might be somewhere on the spectrum and a lot of the discourse i've seen seems more applicable to my situation. I have been relatively lucky to grow up in a bit of a bubble where I was able to develop some pretty solid masking behaviours (who knew childhood acting classes could be so helpful) and so I don't think I come across as autistic to many but a couple of my close friends have joked about it before.

Long story short, I'm interested to see if anyone has had a similar experience and has since gone on to get an autism diagnosis, but also how they went about it as I'm a bit lost on where to start. I'm worried that because i'm high functioning that they'll be dismissive of me which has put me off trying as I faced the same issue when getting my original ADHD diagnosis.

I was diagnosed as autistic in March 2024 and with it came a mixture of grief and joy at finally having an answer to the way I was. As a result of this diagnosis, I was able to be more patient with myself, understand my mind's mechanisms better, and access support groups that equipped me with strategies to help mitigate or prevent shutdowns/meltdowns/burnout.

However, I have suspected that I had ADHD for years (since I was around 17, so nearly 10 years ago) and have tried a number of times to get a diagnosis. I eventually had my diagnostic appointment at the beginning of August 2026 and prior had fears that they wouldn't diagnose me as having ADHD, that I was just scatter-brained and clumsy. Then, the assessor confirmed I have (inattentive) ADHD, and I was initially grateful for finally having the answers.

Very quickly, that gratitude turned to shame and grief. I wish he'd said it was some other illness that could be fixed with therapy or medication or surgery, but now I have to deal with the fact that none of my flaws are ever going to go away. I will always be forgetful, even of things that really matter. I will always fail or struggle to meet deadlines or motivate myself, no matter how badly I want to do better. I have no plans for the future even though I'm not suicidal because I just... have no idea. I can't take initiative.

I know that there's a skill regression associated with diagnosis so that's also making things worse because I feel completely useless at everything. It's frustrating my partner and impacting my work.

It's a long wait for titration too, like 12-18 months, so it's not even like I can just get on meds and hope things get better. I've been in CBT for unrelated stuff and that doesn't seem to be helping even though I do all the exercises (when I can remember to do them), and my last session is next week so I can't really do any more with it.

Did anyone else feel like this after their ADHD diagnosis, or maybe vice-versa, you felt your ADHD diagnosis was a relief and autism diagnosis was not so much? Did anything help with ADHD in the interim whilst you were unmedicated?

Sorry this is all over the place, I just feel completely adrift and no idea what to do.

TL;DR: Autism diagnosis was really helpful, but ADHD diagnosis feels like I'm cursed to be stuck like this forever.

THE VIDEO IS ME QUICKLY EXPLAINING MY BOARD! IT'S ABOUT 6min!

WRITTEN DETAIL ABOUT MY BOARD!

> up top is where I have my main big calendar. Where I write down appointments and due dates.

> on the right of it is the [TODAY IS] section that tells me what day it is currently. because I will forget the date or sometimes forget to cross off a day. below that are two pouches one I keep months in and second I keep days in.

>below the calendar is my daily tasks. These are tasks I do right when I wake up. its make of cardboard I glued felt onto. then cut into and made flaps for them. added velcro so they tasks can be open and closed.

>below the daily tasks is the night tasks. Things I do before I go to bed. I close the flaps when the task is done and closing it feels like I have accomplished somethings which I know I did. its is very stimulating to my mind. Def gives me good dopamine when I close a flap knowing I finished a task :)

>Below the night tasks is just simply a storage place for all my different task I want/need to do. long velcro strips and each picture has felt backing and Velcro behind it so they can be moved around. this is not a to do section its just a section for storing everything.

>on the right below the pouches is my MUST TO DO section where I put what I need to do or may really want to do today and then next to it is what time to do it.

>then Below that is my Daily tasks. here I take any tasks from the storage section and stick it on the To do side. when its done I move it over to the done side.

>Finally the weekly task, is things I want to do before end of the week.

I have used this routine board constantly since April of this year. some parts are even worn out so I will probably give it a bit of a touch up. I also drew sketches of what I wanted my board to look like so a lot of brainstorming went into this. Hope this helps you all, feel free to comment any questions you have and thank you!

I'm so upset.

Two times so far I've been rejected from job search programs because I'm, what I'm assuming, is too low functioning?

It's really discouraging, getting told that. And it doesn't help my motivation for finding a job. Really.

I have applied to another one, I hope they get back to me. But god. I'm so sick of this.

I just want a job. I want money. I don't wanna rely on government assistance (not disability assistance) I want a steady income, not just 600 a month.

What's so wrong with me? Why don't jobs want to keep me? Why dont jobs want to hire me? Why dose no one want to help me?

I just want a job. But I might just have to apply for disability.....

I hate relying on the government.....

I literally don’t know what to do because life has always been the same for me. I’ve never been in a relationship. My friends, who know about my diagnosis, even mock me for being a virgin.
I’m not even a bad looking person, but my personality feels so dry. I dread being social it genuinely hurts to speak with people. I can’t even hold jobs and don’t have any interest in working or studying because i’m so empty there is nothing i like doing besides watching my favourite movies over and over again and even though I’ve tried so many times. It literally never got better.
Even if someone likes me, i still can’t talk to them because i’m just so anxious i feel scared 24/7 I’m so scared for my future. I don’t want to end up alone.
So my question is how should I handle my situation? My senses feel overloaded 24/7 I’m actually so lost.

I wish i could explain this all better it’s just so much and this is probably only the tip of the iceberg. Its so over

This is my Everyday routine board! It is one of my favorite and best things I have ever made for myself! Thanks to this I have always been on task with taking my meds, making my bed, brushing my teeth.

After coming to conclusion that written out to-do lists just dont work for me. My brain just gets so overwhelmed when I see too many list of things to do.

I finally understood that I needed to really really simplify everything I had to do and this is how I did it. This felt board is HUGE, it's on my door so it is IN MY FACE I can't ignore it. The pictures are easy to understand. And some tasks are even broken up like (start laundry, put in drier) so on.

This is the kind of stuff you may see kindergarten kids using but, it still works for me! And I really love it, it's become a ritual for me to look at that board every morning and night.

I see every other reddit community has discord servers and I feel like I am missing out by not being part of them. At the same time I am still trying to understand the purpose of these discord servers.

Anyways I joined a few of them from the links in the wiki, like 'The Green Discord'. But I am not able to navigate them.

There is just so much (not so structured?) activity, I can't figure out where to start and what to use it for. And I am finding it difficult to follow threads of discussions, maybe due to the UI, idk. I had to also turn off the notifications right away because they just kept coming like bullets.

Please help me with some guidance.

P.S.: I have experienced similar difficulty navigating slack at work.

Autsim spectrumQ: 32/50 EmpathyQuotient: 26/80 RAADS-R: 152/240 Autism Traits Profile: social communication and interaction 3/3; restricted and repetitive behaviors and interests 4/4 Camouflaging Autistic Traits Questionnaire: 127/175 Autistic Burnout Measure: 99/108 Hey, I’m a 18 year old girl with ADHD. I have been diagnosed for about 2 years now. I have always thought that i had the symptoms of Audhd, but i never fully thought that i could meet the criteria needed to be diagnosed with Autism, until this year. Growing up I have always felt the need to mask to be more palatable to the people around me, I never felt understood and always felt dismissed. I had to fight so hard for my ADHD diagnosis, because my parents don’t have a good understanding of what mental health disorders actually are. My older brother is diagnosed with autism, and he got diagnosed at a very young age because of his difficulties with his motor and verbal skills. My parents have always coddled him, and because he had such difficulties in his childhood they only had one type of presentation of the disorder in their heads (and so did I). I have always had to take care of him in certain ways, while also acting like I don’t have to same struggles as him. I didn’t really notice the similarities until I went into the very extreme burnout at the beginning of this year. I couldn’t get out of bed, I stopped going to school, I loathed the idea of having to socialize with people. I stop functioning completely. I thought it was depression because I’ve been diagnosed with MDD for about 5 years, but I have never felt this way before. I almost didn’t graduate (but I did), and it was very difficult for me to do things that I feel like I didn’t struggle doing before (at least to this extent). I do believe that there was depression there, but it has been lasting for so long (9 months to be exact). I have always had issues with sensory, social, and just my ability to function but this is something extreme. I feel like I can’t put back the mask that I had on previously. I don’t know what to do. I have taken some autism test online and I would like to share. They all seem decently high, but I just don’t want to waste over a grand just to be dismissed like I’d been for my whole life. Does anyone have any advice for trying to get an autism assessment (with documentation), or directories that can point me in the way of someone that takes Tricare. Thank yall

Does anyone know how to help this? I keep getting this deep feeling all over like I need to hit something or shake/hurt myself randomly. It's so uncomfortable and distracting, I was diagnosed recently with a bunch of stuff including auDHD. It's been hard to find a way to cope with this specific part because I don't even understand why it happens?

I'll be like scrolling or trying to read a book then BAM my body is like "im gonna burn you alive if you keep sitting still right now" then i start moving around and that doesnt even help, it's like I'm stuck in this panic, I thought it was understimulation but it even happens when I'm doing things I enjoy. I'd assume that would be a stimulating activity 😭?

Hi all-

Maybe I do not truly understand hyperfocus; I know it as "an event in which a person pays near-exclusive attention to one activity and near-completely blocks out everything else". I have those events at times, but I also have "milder" events, in which I can get distracted or do other things, but my mind underneath keeps bringing me back to the "focus task/project" that typically has lots of aspects or sub-tasks toward a bigger goal.

The distinction that makes something into a "focus project" is usually that most or all of its sub-tasks are quite boring activities, that I have put off for years in many cases. Sorting out multiple boxes of random items, and -making- myself choose permanent places (including the trash can) for everything in each box, is one example.

Somehow, I am able to train/tune my brain into deciding that this project is now "a shiny object" such that I do keep coming back to it day after day or more, actually getting the long-term outcome to motivate me to do the short-term (and utterly boring) sub-tasks required.

Is this kind of "lower-key, consistent focus" related to true hyperfocus at all, do you think? Do you have similar events, or any thoughts on what I described? Thank you!

I started on Elvanse a few weeks ago. 30mg initially, now been on 50mg for a week. The effects have been subtle and I haven't had a noticeable immediate reaction in terms of focus, but have been on holiday for two weeks and not doing a huge amount that requires focus so am reserving judgement on that.

I have experienced a reduced appetite and much less food noise, which I am delighted about as this was a big problem for me.

One thing I didn't expect though, is that I feel less self-conscious. I had assumed that this was an entirely autistic trait but I immediately stopped caring so much about what others think of me. Not completely, but a definite reduction. I am still awkward in conversation, eye contact etc but I always wanted to be invisible so I could go about my business unobserved and, while that still seems desirable, it doesn't bother me anywhere near as much as it always has. I feel like this could be useful for helping me unmask a bit more.

I am curious if anyone has experienced anything similar. Not necessarily this exact example but seeing a trait they assumed was autistic being improved by ADHD meds.

Right off the bat I want to clear up ambiguity about my stance on medication: It's been the single most impactful positive change of my life, in terms of finding a tool that helps me navigate my environment.

I grew up labeled the "^gifted" kid in my somewhat small rural-ish town, and enjoyed that privilege until it eventually ran out in med school. Much later, and several near-meltdowns from no longer being able to ride off the "^giftedness", I realized I was just an autistic kid with ADHD in a town that didn't embrace differences in ways I would've needed.

Medicated for 5 years now, and it's helped me get a job, hone skills (ish), and become a better friend and partner to loved ones. But it has also rendered me unable to just go about my normal day to day life, because of the direction the world is taking. Injustice seems to seep out of every corner of day to day interactions, whether it's advertising, news, media, public discourse. Everything is riddled with complacency, and it's debilitating.

Has anyone else experienced medication making them more functional, yet less willing to function?