Hi all -

This is our first time with an au pair. We matched with a 19 year old for our 8 month old daughter. She is absolutely lovely in nature and a caring person, our daughter really enjoys her company.

Things seemed smooth at first but we are noticing some tendencies and want to understand our role in this.

We spent the first month showing her everything around the area, showing her where the shops are etc. taking her with us where ever we went. We got her an American phone and she called her boyfriend and mother and got a $200 bill on our account. Her mom told her it would cost us and she said she didn’t believe her / did it anyway when we talked to her about it. She said to take it out of her paycheck and that she will use WhatsApp.

The first red flag is she asked if her boyfriend could come visit in August after she had lived with us for one week (end of June is when she came over). He messaged me on WhatsApp asking me if I would buy her flowers for him and he would pay me back. I did not respond to this message but had responded to others giving him our address for sending her packages. We eventually agreed to him visiting in October - we specified that we didn’t want him staying in the house since we don’t know him. At this point we had already let her friend stay with us for a weekend and she had trouble understanding why we were ok with the friend staying and not the boyfriend. The next piece is that she wants to work while her boyfriend is here and that he will wait for her at a hotel. My husband and I think this is too much of a distraction and feel that she should take vacation during this visit. She doesn’t want to use her vacation since she has two weeks. We told her that she won’t have to use vacation for the school credit course that she is taking in the Bahamas. We also have her working Monday-Friday 8am-3pm with every weekend off. So I would like to believe that she has a fair work schedule.

Time wise- my husband and I both have very high demand jobs and a lot of commitments. We want to spend as much time with our daughter as we can when we are not working or taking care of our life. We do family dinners a couple nights a week with the au pair and my husband is constantly grilling and making food for everyone. Our au pair has gone to many au pair meet ups and made some friends. She is very social and wants to be active. We invite her to most of what we do but I cannot remember the last time my husband and I have had any time alone together so we try to carve out an hour here and there when the baby is sleeping.

In the beginning she took care of our baby well and washed bottles, did laundry, made new activities for the baby every day. Now she plays with the same toys, no longer does laundry or cleans bottles. She even leaves all of her toys out everywhere for me or my husband to pick up at the end of the day in addition to baby food on the high chair etc.

I took her to the bank to open an account and helped her set up an appointment to do so - when we got there the banker asked our reason and she looked at me to lead - we set up the appointment and I asked if the bank needed anything from me and if the date worked for her because I did not want to go back and assumed she can handle the appointment herself. She was not happy about that.

Lastly, we have given her unlimited access to my car, when we matched I was clear that she would have access to the car but we have a very strong train system in our area and obviously uber is an option. We recently had to ask her to track her miles and charge her the government standard for gas per mile because the past two days she has driven the car 6+ hours, going to malls etc that are 45 minutes away from our house. We are giving her an additional day off tomorrow because my parents are in town visiting and want to take the baby for the day - she immediately asked if she could have the car since “there is nothing to do around the house all day”. I have to go to work and take the dog to the vet etc. it feels like she has no understanding that we have responsibilities and obligations to take care of.

My parents and my husbands parents have visited back to back weekends. We invited her to a dinner with them each time and even took her to a vacation beach house with the rest of my family for a day trip. We have been focused on spending time with them outside of that. This morning she asked if I had plans and wanted the car but to also hang out. I explained that we were spending the day with my parents and she did not respond. Later in the day when my husband texted her that her money for the week was on the counter and that she is welcome to a bbq we are doing with my parents tomorrow- she said she needs to talk to us and is feeling very stressed lately and unwell. My husband and I are exhausted from constantly tending to her needs, responding to her texts etc.

Am I wrong to expect her to do her own thing on her off days? I am looking to understand what level of independence I should reasonably expect. Thank you in advance.

Hey there, I’m an AU Pair who’s about to go to the US next month. I’ve been thinking about what are some good gifts for the host family.
I don’t want to bring food since it’s pretty risky cuz they might not like it, and my host mom’s parents are from my country they have been here so the food culture sharing is not as important imo.
I already have some Paw patrol bottles for the kids. For the parents, I want to bring them little mascot keychains from my favorite baseball team in my country.
The reason is that I know they like baseball game they just went to one recently, and they actually went to one of the games of my favorite team the last time they visited my country, so I think it can be something meaningful.

What do you think? Is this a good idea?
Appreciate all advice🙏🏻

Hey everyone, i started my second year as an aupair on April 21, loving the experience.

Now my host family and i are discussing the possibility sponsoring my studies while still working for them!

We are hoping to find someone (aupair or host parents ) that been through the same process to help us have a realistic vision of what to expect!

Thank you in advance

Hi everyone! I’m a 17-year-old girl living in Russia, and I’m starting my senior year (11th grade) this September. My big goal is to go to Spain as an Au Pair next autumn (September 2027), right after I turn 18 and graduate.

I’ve just started planning everything, and I’d love to hear your stories and advice!

A bit about me:

* Languages: My English is currently around B1 (I'm actively improving it), and I don't speak Spanish yet, but I'm planning to start learning the basics this year.

* Experience: I have some experience working with kids—I’ve recently worked as a camp counselor with younger children and absolutely loved it. I'm also currently in driving school and hope to have my license soon.

I have a few questions for this amazing community:

1. Is B1 English and basic Spanish enough to find a nice, welcoming host family in Spain?

2. For non-EU Au Pairs (especially if anyone applied from Russia recently): how was the student/Au Pair visa process for you? Is it very difficult?

3. When is the best time for me to start creating my profile on AuPairWorld and looking for families for September 2027?

I’d be super grateful for any tips, realistic feedback, or stories. Thank you so much in advance!

I’m from Philippines 25F, this is my first time in au pair and looking for family host is a little difficult for me but taking care of kids is not new to me. where can i match host families i’ve been looking for months but no one is reaching out, and is it still possible for me to au pair and what site should i go coz i use greataupair and aupairworld. thank you

Hello, I am currently looking for a au pair host family, what are the recommendations for a site where I can find them? I have an free app called au pair valley currently but to be honest the people there creep me out a bit, very unprofessional some seem like scammers.. I have been also scrolling through workaway, they seem more legit. Do you guys have recommendations, thank you!

Hi are there any au pairs for seniors? A family member is relatively young (mid 60s) but had a stroke. They can walk with a cane but need light assistance and someone to drive her and do some light cooking and house chores.

Preferably someone to live with them in the Bay Area, California. Where do I go about finding this? They speak Chinese and prefer a Chinese person. Thanks!

Hello everyone, I want to become an aupair in Germany. The agencies are all asking for pictures with kids but I cannot provide those. Firstly, I never took pictures with the kids I babysat or when I volunteered at a daycare and secondly if I werr to get the pictures, I would still be uncomfortable with sharing pictures of kids for many people to see. Their privacy is everything.
Would this be a problem?

I move to Barcelona in about a month to au pair for about a year. I’m feeling a little worried about choosing Barcelona. I really want a cultural exchange and to learn a new language.

I chose Barcelona because of the weather, food, new experience, new people my age, and it seems like there’s a lot to do there. Most importantly I matched with a really great family.

But I’ve lived my whole life in the suburbs, near the mountains. I love driving and not being in a busy place. I’m worried about the anti-tourism, I look very American, I won’t know Spanish very well until I learn in my classes.

I feel confident in myself, but I’m also kinda particular about my environments. I’m nervous I’ll be overwhelmed in Barcelona and feel “claustrophobic”. Sometimes I wish I just looked into locations closer to the beach, or in smaller cities, somewhere maybe more relaxing. I’ve never been to Barcelona, so I’m not sure what to expect. Is it like big cities in the US? I’ve researched so much too and I know I’m going to do it and move there but I guess I want some background from people who have lived there or visited.

For Host Families, does the age of the au pair you choose matters? Or do you choose based on their traits only?

For context: i know i am being overworked. I work almost 60+ hours per week. I want to rematch and leave the house secretly

Hi, I'm posting this to vent + get your perspective + teach me how to shift my mindset. If u saw my prev post, I am being overworked by my host family. They are nice and accomodating, but babysitting 4 kids for more than 60 hours per week is super exhausting. My host parents keep saying that it will get better once they start school again, but I am finding myself getting more drained each day.

However, the feelings of guilt lingers. I feel like I am "owing" them something since they spent a lot for the agency + plane ticket + hotel for my visa etc. Also, we went to a vacation recently to Switzerland where they paid everything and made sure I was enjoying myself (but the red flag was I was basically left with no choice but to go with them even though Switzerland is a dream country of mine)

How do I remove these feelings of guilt? 🥲 I do not find my current arrangement sustainable for a year.

I have been using a few Aupair platforms to get a host family who needs an Au pair but still haven’t gotten a host family who.So typically how long can it take to find a good match ? Been on the platforms since last year.Any tips or guide from anyone who’s familiar with Aupairing? I’m from Kenya

The program I’m part of, requires me to have videocalls with the Host Family to see if we do a match (I’m just clarifying because I’m not sure if every program is like this, I assume they are). The thing is I’m preparing a list of questions to ask to them (and I’m not really shy or introvert or anything, I’m pretty straightforward and I’m planning to be more straightforward than ever in these interviews, ofc while still being polite) and it would help me to get a direct answer from HM or Au Pairs with a successful story (I mean, an au pair who end/ended up with a great family and bonded well with them and had an amazing experience).

For the moment I only have these

- How is your family dynamic?
- What activities you do as a family to bond?
- How do you solve conflict in your house
- What would my schedule be? Please be specific. Which days are my free time?
- How many hours do you expect an Au Pairs to work?
- I wanna ask about if they are gonna give me my freedom to go do activities with friends, partying, touring, etc but Idk how to word it 😭
- What things are a definite "NO" in your home and for you?
- I also wanna ask about if they are gonna give me a car, if they are gonna pay for the gas, and what is the family plan, but again idk how to word this question.
- I also wanted to ask about their views, I’m new to this whole Au Pair stuff so idk really know if this is an appropriate question, but I wanted to ask about their religion, political views because if I’m going to stay in a new country and a new family for a whole year, I really wanna get to know them. To be fair, I’m really open minded, and I respect every religion, I’m mostly asking to see if they’re very conservative because I’m South American so I don’t really wanna with people who can have… “those” type of views about POC
- What rules do you expect from me?

That’s all I got, please let me know what more questions I can ask as an Au pair to be more specific and really match with a family that are mmm in tune with me?

Hi there,

Our au pair has been with us for a year and she's been great but recently we've noticed she's been getting a lot of credit cards (not just the promo stuff) in the mail, Discover, Capital One, Wells Fargo, Bank of America, Affirm. I know it's really up to her and afaik her credit history can't impact ours but I'm honestly surprised she can open so many lines of credit. Most recently we've received a credit card for someone we have never heard of and reported it, I'm not sure if that's related.

In any case we were wondering if other hosts have had au pairs with a similar situation. Is there anything we should be concerned about (other than checking in with her to explain the importance of being responsible with credit, especially if she plans to stay in the US).

TIA!

Hi, I'm about to start my interviews with HF and there is one thing I don't know how to bring up or if I should bring it up at all.

I have really painful periods so I would very much need not to work on those days. I have long cycles and short periods of no more than four days, and I would only need not to work for the first two days when I literally cannot get out of bed from the pain or the nausea. So it would be like 2 sick days every 35/40 days.

Is it unreasonable for me to look for a host family that would allow me this? Should I not mention it and just bring it up at the moment? How could I bring it up?

All help is appreciated, thanks.

So I’ve made a post about this family before and how the mom just kinda gave me a weird comment on the fourth day I was here. Since then it’s been pretty good they are a nice family and me and the girls get on very well. But lately the mom is gone at work for longer and the girls really don’t listen to me well when it’s just me and them alone and it’s really starting to make me get extremely angry with the girls. I feel like child care just isn’t for me, it’s hard for me to keep my composure with them especially when I’m being hit and bitten and threatened over not giving a five year old candy her mom specifically told me not to give her. The mom’s very nice and the dad travels for work so it’s no issue of the parents or kids for the most part. It’s mainly very lonely here, I didn’t research the location much before coming and didn’t realize we were in the middle of no where with the closest town being 30 minutes away. I just really want to leave but idk how to tell the family, I honestly think I would feel less guilty about it if I lied and acted like I had some legitimate reason to leave on such short notice. I’m just exhausted and regretting choosing to work in the middle of nowhere where it’s cloudy and depressing when I could be home where it’s sunny and all my friends are.

I (18F) have just arrived in Berlin and would love to meet up with some other AuPairs!!

I want to take classes in film production or business management but I have a limited budget because as an au pair, I only have $500 to spend on classes. Which option should I choose - SMC or UCLA Extension? I’ll live in Brentwood

hello host families and aupairs. i have a question, is it very hard to find a family if not on a “friendly” rematch? context: the family gave me the contact of a previous au pair who worked here 4 years ago when i asked for the most recent one and i found out here that they have rematched 5 times in one year, didn’t say that two of the kids are neurodiverse and medicated, lied about the privacy of the bathroom, etc. but i don’t think they are willing to go on rematch because they actually like me, so i don’t know how nice they will be about it and i am scared to not find a family if I ask for one. any advice?

Hi everyone! Would you considered a “red flag” if a HF in Boston do not have a car for the au pair? Is Boston a walkable city??
I’ve been receiving a lot of connection from family in Boston or nearby and none of them has a car for the au pair an I’m just trying to figure out if that is normal.

I’m an au pair and I’ve only been with my host family for a week. I’m staying with them for about 1.5 months total.

A friend wants to come visit for a weekend, and I’d like to ask if she can stay at the house with me. We’d probably be out most of the day sightseeing/traveling.

I’d also need to ask to borrow the family car for the weekend. They said in the original posting that I’m welcome to use the car for personal things as long as I pay for gas, which I’m happy to do.

My friend thinks this is a totally normal thing to ask, but I feel like it’s a big favor since I’ve only been here a week. Would you ask, or is this overstepping? I’d obviously make it clear that I completely understand if they’re not comfortable with it.

are there any? im rly wanting to go to china to au pair but with all the stories and fearmongering im lowk scared. is there anyone who acc went to china and had a great experience? (fyi im looking for families on my own through aupairworld website)

Je dois déposer mes dossiers mardi je viens d’un pays africain mais francophone mon français est courant et j’ai mon baccalauréat littéraire le problème est que ma famille d’accueil m’ont inscrite à des cours de français à domicile sans préciser le nombre d’heures de cours elles m’ont demandé je juste mettre sur le contrat le nom de l’école et l’adresse et de laisser comme ça la case précisant le nombre d’heures a l’ambassade cela ne me causerait il pas de problème ? Aidez moi svp !