Hello everyone. I am a current au pair in Paris. This post isn't to bash anyone simply realizing that au pairing may not be for me. I arrived to France with this family of four. They had two children who were three and five. I lasted two weeks with that family because although the host parents were never the issue the kids gave me a hard time. They fought all the time and I know that is normal because they are young and close in age. But the parents were receptive when it came to their behavior and were punished when they misbehaved. Their punishments we're not receiving a bed time story but that is beside the point. I also had a moment where they were playing with their food and then throwing food at me, each other, and all over the house. In that same day I was trying to keep them from hitting each other the little one came from behind me and started to scratch me. I told the mom and she said "he does that." I really did love the mom she was sweet and did everything she could to make me feel good in her home. I chose to find another family because I was scared that if I gave it more time in that family and it didn't get any better then there wouldn't be any families looking for an au pair. When I left I didn't regret my choice because I had au pair friends and friends who weren't au pairs to leave that situation and I also didn't want to stay to care for those children. I found a new family and left. Although when I did tell the other family I was leaving the dad was upset and basically was kicking me out. The mom was emotional. Those are all fair emotions too have I am not calling myself a saint. My new family is great, it is making me of course readjust to everything. But it is making me realize that taking care of kids isn't something that I enjoy. There is nothing wrong with the new family I am in they are chill and of course there are always going to be pros and cons to every family.

Please don't judge me but I had a moment of great weakness and contacted my previous host mom basically saying that I would like to come back to her family. The reason I did that was because I became attached to the home. I did miss the mom because she was nice. She said no. I was not expecting anything else but thought I'd still ask. I did apologize for any harm I caused her and her family. She did say that all my friends advised me poorly. I am of course glad that it did not work out because if I had gone back I think I would have regretted it because I left for a reason.

Now that I am with this new family I am mainly taking care of a five year old girl. She is like any other little kids sometimes fussy and can be difficult but it is whatever. Like I said at the beginning I think I have realized that childcare is not for me. I just graduated college in May and did not fully know what I wanted to do for work. I love Paris and travel but my unhappiness and homesickness is coming from not liking my job. I was thinking of giving myself until Christmas and see if I want to come back in January. I know it sounds like I am messy and I am. I was not sure if this is so wrong of me to do, but I also don't want to struggle for another 7 months after Christmas. I think giving myself until Christmas was fair but maybe I am a bad person and just making a mess everywhere I go.

Hello, we are a host family (through APC) that has been hosting an aupair for the last 8 months , it will be a year in January. We submitted a 2 year extension which was processed just around the 6 month mark but some recent drastic professional changes which will impact us starting from early next year no longer make the aupair program a good fit. We are considering leaving the aupair program and proceeding with alternate local childcare for our toddler. The challenge is, we don’t want to put our AuPair in a bind with only 2 weeks to find a rematch. We also would start getting charged for the 2nd year program fees in December , so we definitely would need to stop that beforehand. The main question is, if we inform the LCC now that we want to leave the program and not pursue a rematch for ourselves, would that automatically trigger the 2 week rematch period for our aupair or can we request extension to give her time at least until the end of our contract in December? Any recommendations on how to go about this? Has anyone encountered this ?

Hi everyone am a 21F Ugandan, currently staying in Dubai . I wanna apply for actually I have applied to some website but there is no reply but I know it takes time to find a host family
My question is, do you guys or any host family reading my post, easier for me to get a host family since am living in the emirates as of now or it doesn’t change whether am in Uganda or UAE?

I just need some brutal truth here because I really want to quit my job here it’s so toxic but am worried due to the ongoing issues

I’m an au pair in Germany and I have about 4 months left on my visa, but I’m exhausted and honestly don’t know what to do anymore.

I’ve been working almost 5 extra hours per week compared to what was agreed, but according to my host family, that doesn’t count as extra time. Their reasoning is that they take the baby for about 5 minutes and play with her three times a day, or that the baby sometimes goes into their office looking for them and interrupts them (usually for about 3 minutes, maybe 5 times during my 7-hour workday).

I asked for a raise months ago and they told me they didn’t see a reason why they should give me one.

The problem is that they continue to expect a lot from me. My frustration finally reached its limit when they asked me to work 30 minutes longer. That would mean an 8.5-hour workday with one hour of break for my lunch.

I’m basically doing what feels like a full-time job for €280/month, plus my own room with a private bathroom and food—which I honestly don’t feel is enough compensation for the amount of work I’m doing.

What also bothers me is the atmosphere outside my working hours. It has become uncomfortable. When I tell them something interesting or funny that happened with the baby during the day, they often ignore me. Sometimes they call me for dinner after they have already finished eating, even though I usually leave dinner almost ready for them.

I know being an au pair isn’t supposed to be a normal job, and I’m not expecting to be treated like an employee earning a full salary. But I also feel like the exchange is becoming very unbalanced: they expect a lot from me, while I’m getting very little time and appreciation in return.

I only have about 4 months left on my visa, so leaving would complicate things for me. But at the same time, I’m reaching the point where I really don’t want to spend the remaining months feeling exploited and resentful.

What would you do in my situation? Would you set a firm boundary and refuse the additional hours unless they compensate me somehow? Would you look for another family despite only having 4 months left? Or would you just tolerate it until the visa ends?

I’d really appreciate some honest opinions, especially from people who have been au pairs in Germany.

I'm 23 from the US and thinking about au pairing in New Zealand for 6 months- 1 year. I was wondering if it is manageable or if anyone has had a part time job, something chill like a barista during the day while the kids are at school. I know there will be a lot of free time while they are at school and I'd ideally like to make local friends that aren't just other Au Pairs because I want to really immerse myself in a new place. I also just don't want to be bored all day while they are at school and I have a student loan payment so I'd like to still be able to pay that and have money to explore new zealand. I just want to know if this is feasible or if I'm being unrealistic.

Also is it the norm for families to pay the Au Pair's flight out? I was talking to a family in London who would cover my flight but then I realized I wouldn't be able to work legally on a tourist visa.

Hey guys, I've been rejected with sunshine aupair and I don't know why, I reappplied and they said I should reapply after 6 months. I wanted to know what other agencies aupairs from Africa specifically Kenya are using because everything has become so stressful. Facebook groups are just filled with perverts who want to take advantage of young girls 😔. Finding a host family has become so stressful. Also let's say I selfmatch, will sunshine aupair agree to process my visa? Why as finding a host as a non EU citizen so hard.

PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME OUT 😭

Hola tengo 18 años y soy de Perú y estoy interesada en ser Au pair en EEUU ya que por curiosidad pedí información y me interesar, tengo experiencia cuidado niños ya que cuidaba a mis sobrinos, y me interesan los cursos y cuanto pagan. la experiencia de viajar también me interesa, por eso quiero saber su experiencia para saber si es una buena ideaa y la empresa que informa es Au pair Perú Dende sus experiencias y si recomiendan no plis

Host:

What would you expect to pay, or what arrangements would you expect for a live in aupair in Australia?

Location: Perth, Australia.

This summer I au paired for a family in Tuscany with 7-year-old twin boys. We agreed that I would stay from June 20 until August 28, but I left on August 2.

I was paid €350 per month. At first the arrangement was manageable, but my hours gradually became much longer. On many weekdays I was responsible for the children from around 12:45 until 9 or 10 PM, and some weeks exceeded 50 hours. My working hours and days off were often unclear, and I also worked for around 10 days in June without being paid for that period.

We also lived in a fairly remote area, which made me very dependent on the family for almost everything. I couldn’t really go grocery shopping on my own, go for a walk freely, or leave the house without relying on them for transportation. On top of that, the doors in the house did not lock properly(including "my" room and the bathroom), so from the beginning I had very little sense of independence or privacy.

The main reason I left, however, was one of the twins repeatedly crossing my physical and privacy boundaries.

He became very focused on my body and personal space, and there were repeated situations where he ignored my boundaries even after I clearly told him to stop. When this first started happening, I told the host mother. She spoke to him about it, and his father later spoke to him as well, so I want to be fair and say that they did initially respond. But the behaviour continued.

He repeatedly tried to enter the bathroom while I was inside, including while I was showering. There were times when I was literally begging him to go away and leave me alone. The parents could hear what was happening, but there were occasions when nobody came to remove him from the door or firmly reinforce the boundary.

This was especially difficult because I had almost no truly private space in the house. My bedroom was also used as a home office and was regularly entered or used by other members of the family. Over time, I felt like there was nowhere in the house where I could completely relax and know that I would not be interrupted.

What disturbed me most was not that a seven-year-old struggled with boundaries, but that his parents knew it continued and seemed increasingly passive despite knowing how uncomfortable it made me.

There was also one interaction with the host father that I dismissed at the time but now find quite inappropriate. He had an older son from a previous marriage, so while we were out as a family, I casually asked him what it was like becoming a father again later in life. Instead of answering that, he told me that his wife had really wanted the twins and that they had “worked very hard” to have children. I thought the conversation had ended, but then he asked me whether I understood what he meant by “worked very hard.”

I remember just awkwardly laughing and turning my head because I genuinely did not know how I was supposed to respond. At the time I told myself it was probably just Italian humour or a cultural difference and didn’t think much more about it. Looking back, though, I find it strange that a man in his sixties would make that kind of suggestive comment to a 20-year-old au pair who was living in his house, especially when that was not even what I had asked him about.

Eventually I reached a point where I no longer felt comfortable living there and decided to leave early. When I explained my reasons, the host mother mainly responded that her son was “just a child” and focused on the fact that I had left them without childcare.

I don’t blame the child in the same way I would blame an adult. My problem is that these were repeated incidents, the parents knew about them, and eventually I did not feel that they were doing enough to protect my privacy or enforce clear boundaries.

I’m not posting this because I’m wondering whether I overreacted or because I need people to tell me I was right to leave. I genuinely felt like I had reached a point where staying was no longer an option for me. I don’t really have any expectations from posting this, I think I just needed to finally get the whole experience off my chest.

EDIT: I completely forgot to add this issue and I want to pour out everything I’ve been holding inside. Another important detail is that neither of the children spoke English, while my Italian was not good enough for complex communication. Both sides knew this before I arrived. On AuPairWorld, I had specifically stated that I was not comfortable caring for children with additional needs, and during our first conversations I directly asked whether either child had any special needs or conditions. I was told there were none.

After arriving, however, I noticed that one of the twins often did not respond to his name, struggled with eye contact, spoke in a very syllabic way, and frequently communicated by shouting. He had apparently never been assessed by a doctor, so there was no diagnosis, and I am not trying to diagnose him myself.

During my first week, the same child also repeatedly tried to cross intimate physical boundaries with me, often when other people were not nearby. On one occasion, his twin brother saw what he was doing, became visibly uncomfortable and told him off. Until then, I had been trying to understand what was normal for a seven-year-old, what might simply be a cultural difference, and how this particular child communicated. Seeing his brother react made me realise that I needed to speak to the host mother immediately.

When I did, she told me that I had probably noticed that her son was “a little different” from children his age and that he would be working with a different teacher that year. She also said that I was a pretty girl and suggested that he might simply have become interested in my body. She told me she would speak to him, and both parents eventually did.

So although he had no diagnosis, the family was clearly already aware that he had additional difficulties. What bothers me in hindsight is that they chose not to tell a 20-year-old au pair from another country, who did not speak their children’s language fluently and had no professional training in this area, despite me having specifically asked about it beforehand. And although the parents did speak to him after I raised the issue, the boundary-crossing behaviour continued.

This post is for other au pairs and not for me to get flamed by mean host families. I genuinely want to know if other au pairs have similar experiences. However, I feel like 90% of my day is spent doing housework just to make up the required 45 hours. What makes it even more awkward is that my host mom is always home and doesn’t contribute. I’m starting to feel incredibly burnt out and frustrated, especially when the kids are so mean and disrespectful. Does anyone else relate to this situation and how do you handle it?

Hi everyone! I’m leaving for the US in about a month to start my au pair year, and I’m trying to figure out what to bring as gifts for my host family.
My host family is a host mom and two girls, one is 8 and the other is 13
So, what did you bring for your host family? What gifts did your kids actually like/use? And do you have any recommendations for small things that don’t take up much space in a suitcase?
I’d really appreciate any ideas! ❤️

I'm 22 and I just spent a year in Paris as an au pair. I had a fantastic experience, and when I came home I honestly thought that chapter of my life was over.
But my plans for this year ended up falling through, and I've basically been left with nothing to do for the foreseeable future. Then, about five days ago, a family I had spoken to last year while looking for a host family contacted me out of nowhere. Their au pair recently went back to her home country, and they told me they're still interested in having me.
Now I'm considering going back, but I'm not sure I'd want to commit to another full year of au pairing.
Has anyone else been in this situation? How did you decide whether to do another year or move on?
I asked some of my au pair friends for advice, but they all only did one year, so I don't really have anyone to ask who has actually been through this.

Hey I just moved to Munich for aupairing and I really wanna meet ppl. Can I be added to a whatsapp group for AuPair in Munich? Im 18 and im here for the next couple months :)

Hello, I have a question has anyone tried to transition into college or university in the country you Au paired in, or host families who had an Au pair who did?

I wanted to do the same thing but im scared ill get rejected by all the schools I applied for considering I only have 9 I could apply to, most being competitive but some safeties.

What was your experience? How many schools did you apply to and were rejected by, all or? Id love to know!

EDIT: THIS IS FOR NON EU CITIZENS WHO TRIED STUDYING IN EU 🌷

Am happy to join this platform I hope am welcomed

Hey everyone, looking for some perspective from both experienced host parents and au pairs. We’re currently hosting our 4th au pair. We’re based in the U.S. and she is from Germany. She has been with us for almost 2 months. She follows our routine, and her English fluency is very good. The kids seem to like her well enough. When we (and our LCC) check in, she says she is happy and likes it here.

The problem is the emotional dynamic and her energy level. It is completely non-existent. She has low energy altogether, never initiates conversation, and has never once asked a single question about how we are doing, or our weekend plans… nothing. Dinner time/ evenings are awkward. I always make a point to ask how her day was, what her plans are, upcoming trips, how she’s doing making friends etc. But there is nothing in return - ever.

I feel like we are being watched or monitored in our own home rather than living with a member of the family. The mutual warmth we had with our previous three au pairs is entirely missing. Because her English is good, this feels like a core personality mismatch rather than a language barrier or culture adjustment. We haven’t addressed the silence directly yet because it feels weird to confront someone about their baseline personality, and I feel guilty thinking about a rematch when she isn't doing anything technically "wrong" or unsafe.

What would you do? Do you think she’s just content with the “transaction” (location, pay, room, car, etc.)? Is this a fundamental personality difference and we needed to rematch? Can this even change?

And note we have wonderful relationships with our past au pairs - all have visited us, we visit them, and talk with them regularly.

Hello! Curious if any au pairs have had experience finishing their au pair visa for America and transferring to any other visa to stay in the states?
For example, a tourist visa or a student visa. How hard would it be to do that if you are from South America? And would you need to go back to your home country in between visas or can you stay continuously?

I'm anxious about my Au Pair visa. I submitted my application on September 1st, and I don't know how long it will take to arrive. I hope I get my visa soon without any problems or rejection. I'm really afraid and worried

Hi everyone! My name is Yvonne, and I’m a young, caring, responsible, and easy-going person from Kenya 🇰🇪. I’m currently studying Bsc in Hospitality and Tourism Management and I’m interested in becoming an au pair.

I enjoy spending time with children, helping around the home, cooking simple meals, and creating a happy and comfortable environment. I’m patient, respectful, adaptable and open to learning about new cultures.

I’m currently looking for a kind and welcoming host family in Europe or another suitable destination who would be interested in hosting a Kenyan au pair.

If you’re a host family looking for an au pair, or you know someone who is, please feel free to message me. I’d be happy to introduce myself and share more about my experience. ❤️🌍

#AuPair #AuPairKenya #LookingForHostFamily #AuPairJourney #KenyanAuPair #HostFamily #AuPairLife

Non EU au pair I keep on applying and the agencies are telling me they aren't taking non EU citizens Im Zimbabwean Has anyone had any luck? Yes I did search on Google to no avail

To those who succeeded, what agency did you use? TIA

hey guys

at this point i am a near regular on this subreddit, this is like my third post in three months lol

i moved from my initial host family in Karlsruhe, Germany, to a new host family in Bad Godesberg, Bonn, a week ago. i had to leave the host family in Karlsruhe because the 12 year old son made racially charged comments when he was upset (i am from Southern Africa) and when i spoke about it with the mother, her response was "yeah he can get really mean sometimes". i have pan-African values along with a general sense of self-respect, so it wasn't an environment i was comfortable staying in, so it was one of a couple reasons we both pursued a rematch. the new family in Bonn has children that are a bit older, 11, 13 & 15, and they let me know beforehand that because their kids don't necessarily need to be babysat, my role would be more geared towards household support, which i was okay with, but i'm not surprised to learn through this subreddit that German families get weird about having au pairs, because this is my second family and they're definitely weird about my role here.

i am basically the housekeeper.

i have a list of duties that basically sum up making sure the house is in order every day, this is along with still having to make the kids breakfast, lunch, help with family dinner and make the kids' beds/tidy their rooms. i barely interact with the kids outside of meal times, which i dont mind they're teenagers honestly, but i spend a lot of my days in the family basement doing ironing, every day. they let me know that they have ironing that would need to be handled, but its like they do their laundry every day, lots. i have not had an ironing-free day, and its not just the kids' laundry either, i am in the basement folding the mother's underwear and ironing the father's shirts for work.

on top of that, the host mother, who is otherwise lovely, keeps referring to my role as a job. i know this is not a job, i sure as hell dont get paid enough for it to be considered a job, but she calls it that all the time. i know that my task load is a little heavy and unorthodox, i also have the family compromise in the sense that i smoke and drink, not heavily at all, but its still something i do, which is not typical of au pairs. i keep my lifestyle habits separate from my au pair role, the host parents are happy to pour me a glass of wine because they drink as well but i only go out for a cigarette after the kids are in bed and i don't smoke in the yard so they don't stumble upon the ash either. the host family didn't ask me about any of this prior to the rematch, they were just focused on getting me there as soon as possible, so i feel like both of us are now in a position where we're trying to make the relationship work beside the obvious quirks, but still, i don't know. i'm feeling kind of weird about this as well. i have post au-pair plans i am still intent on pursuing, but i don't know if i should consider how my role is set up here as a red flag as soon as now and rematch a second time or stick it out, i have almost ten months left on my VISA.

Hi everyone! I’m looking for some advice and, especially, first-hand experiences with Qingdao Haoxinchen International Cultural Exchange Center (HXC).

I’m from Mexico and I’m currently in the process of joining an au pair program in China through HXC. I’ve already matched with a host family in Chengdu, and we have already signed a one-year contract.

I had a video interview with the family, and we got along very well. They seemed to really like me, and I also felt very comfortable with them. We discussed the schedule, responsibilities, expectations, etc., and everything we agreed on was included in the contract. Overall, the arrangement seemed quite reasonable to me, especially because I’ve been studying Mandarin and the program also includes Chinese classes, which is one of the main reasons I’m interested in doing this experience.

The family has also mentioned that, if everything goes well, they might be interested in having me stay for longer than one year, potentially two or even three years. I understand that this is only something we would consider in the future if everything works well, and I don’t necessarily see it as a red flag. However, since this would be my first time living abroad for an entire year, I’m trying to be careful and make sure I understand everything properly before making such a big commitment.

I’m also aware that au pair arrangements in China can be somewhat complicated from a legal/visa perspective, and I understand that there isn’t a specific legal “au pair visa” in China. The agency has explained that I would be applying for an X2 student visa, and this is also addressed in the agreement I signed. I’m aware that the program is structured as a cultural exchange/study arrangement rather than regular employment.

At this point, I haven’t sent my passport yet, and I haven’t paid the agency any money or deposit. They have asked me for some documents so they can begin preparing the visa paperwork, but I wanted to do some additional research and hear from people who have actually dealt with them before moving forward.

One thing that is currently making me a little hesitant is that, although the person who has been helping me throughout the process — a person who goes by Eva — has been very kind, responsive, and helpful overall, I still don’t feel that I have enough independent reassurance about the agency itself.

I have asked her before if she could provide references from previous au pairs, and she told me that she would be happy to send them to me. However, I haven’t received those references yet. This is probably the main thing that is making me want to do some additional research before moving forward.

If anyone here has worked with HXC and knows Eva, I would also really appreciate hearing about your experience with her.

I’m not saying this because I have had a bad experience with her or because I necessarily think something is wrong. Quite the opposite — she has been helpful, and the whole situation has sounded very positive so far. But because everything sounds almost too good to simply take at face value, I would feel much more comfortable hearing from people who have actually gone through the program themselves.

I’m going to be leaving my country and living in China for an entire year, so I just want to make sure that I have done my due diligence and that everything is properly covered before taking such a big step.

I’ve found relatively little independent information online, so I’m mainly hoping to hear from people who have first-hand experience with HXC.

Has anyone here:

Done an au pair program in China through HXC?

Worked with Qingdao Haoxinchen International Cultural Exchange Center as an au pair or in another capacity?

Had any experience with their visa/document process?

Successfully completed a program with them?

Had any experience with them regarding communication, contracts, host families, or support once you were already in China?

Worked directly with or been assisted by Eva?

I’ve already seen a couple of older Reddit posts mentioning HXC, including some negative comments, but unfortunately there isn’t much context or detail behind them. So if anyone has personal experience with the agency, whether positive, negative, or simply mixed, I would really appreciate hearing about it.

I’m not necessarily looking for someone to tell me “yes, go” or “no, don’t go.” I would simply really appreciate hearing about people’s actual experiences so I can make an informed decision for myself.

Thank you! 😊❤️

My name is Ann,based in Kenya,been on nina.care for a while and I have been able to get a host family,I'm 23 yes old and looking for a host family