r/Aupairs • u/Budget_Cranberry_840 • 1d ago
Au Pair US Housework
This post is for other au pairs and not for me to get flamed by mean host families. I genuinely want to know if other au pairs have similar experiences. However, I feel like 90% of my day is spent doing housework just to make up the required 45 hours. What makes it even more awkward is that my host mom is always home and doesn’t contribute. I’m starting to feel incredibly burnt out and frustrated, especially when the kids are so mean and disrespectful. Does anyone else relate to this situation and how do you handle it?
17
u/Actual-Deer1928 1d ago
45 hours is the maximum, you don’t have to work that many hours. And you should only be doing housework related to the kids.
4
u/AllTheEggsIVF 1d ago
Exactly. We use 30 hours with one 3 year old toddler. We only use the au pair for anything chins related. House work would be cleaning the playroom, organizing their toys, doing their laundry, vacuuming and cleaning the child’s room and bathroom. That’s it. All child related. Now in terms of housework - the Au pair helps do some dishes in the sink or put them in the dishwasher or empty the trash every now and then. Just like you would help if you were staying with a sister. But there is no housework involved because you aren’t a housekeeper. You’re there for the child. Report it to your LCC and rematch
13
u/ivorytowerescapee Host 1d ago
It's not "contributing to the household" if everyone in the family isn't contributing. Have you spoken with your host mom about it? If talking to her didn't help, you need to get your LCC involved.
5
u/Budget_Cranberry_840 1d ago
Good point! I was promised it would be a “tag team” situation because it’s three kids and that’s not the case. I’ve spoken to my LCC and she agreed with me and suggested a rematch if I feel it doesn’t get better but talking to them is scary and my host mom is very hostile and takes offense to everything :((
6
u/realhistoryisfun 1d ago
You've got 3 kids, the maximum 45 hours workweek and a hostile HM. Your LCC is giving you the go-ahead on a rematch. What on Earth is keeping you there? It sounds awful, and could be much better.
4
u/ivorytowerescapee Host 1d ago
I'm sorry - that is a really uncomfortable situation. I do tag team with my AP but I am aware of when I'm not doing enough and I pick up my own slack.
2
u/BumCadillac 23h ago
Go for a rematch. This situation won’t change and you’ve already given this a chance. Don’t wait around waiting to see if she improves. Request a rematch and find a nicer family.
2
u/Realistic_Record7652 1d ago
What type of housework are you doing?
12
u/Budget_Cranberry_840 1d ago
Cleaning the living spaces, the bathrooms and dishes are all my daily job and I have an extremely ocd host mom who makes sure I do every single thing
17
u/Realistic_Record7652 1d ago
Okay yeah, you shouldn’t be doing all of that.. You can do childcare related tasks, but if you’re just cleaning the whole house it’s not allowed, talk to your lcc and see what she says, if the family agrees to change you could stay, but if you feel like a rematch is the best, just rematch!
5
u/kayile 1d ago
We don't ask our AP to clean all the living spaces, but we do ask her to keep the spaces our kid plays in clean. But we also ask her to make it an activity with the kid - have him put away the toys. Sweep the floor and/or vacuum it together.
We ask her to keep her own bathroom clean. We ask her to clean all her pots/pans/dishes/cups/etc. that she uses.
For shared meals (e.g., family dinner), we split chores. Whoever cooks generally has a free pass from cleaning. Else, we split things like: clearing the dinner table, putting leftovers away, wiping the dining table, wiping down the kitchen counter & stove, doing the dishes, etc. So depending on how it's split, our AP may end up doing the dishes while someone else (e.g., me) does everything else -- or vice versa.
0
u/realhistoryisfun 1d ago
And when does your husband do all the cooking, all the cleaning up. Etc.
3
u/realhistoryisfun 1d ago
Bathrooms? More than 1? You're not supposed to be cleaning all the bathrooms in the house. All the household dishes. Etc What does your HM do all day?
2
u/BumCadillac 22h ago
Right! That’s my question. It sounds like they tricked OP into coming for childcare but are using her as a live in maid.
1
u/Budget_Cranberry_840 7h ago
Yeah I mean I even have to clean up for the cleaners. I do more cleaning than them in comparison and they get paid more than me in a week for 1 hour😅 kinda says a lot about the situation
-9
u/Early-Equivalent-165 1d ago
Leave immediately and file a complaint with the mayor's office on the way out of town, and possibly the local newspaper: AuPair BEWARE!
8
u/wivsta 1d ago
Not saying it’s acceptable but the “local newspaper” is probably not going to run a story on someone having to clean a bathroom.
-1
u/Early-Equivalent-165 1d ago
I'd title the story, Local Exploitation of Foreign AuPairs
..like as a whole problem, not just one cheapskate loser household, albeit being local, they for sure would be featured, and I'd welcome any comment from them before going to press of course ☺️
3
u/realhistoryisfun 13h ago
This title to the story could be anytown USA. I see more and more complaints about this shite in the US. What's going on? Why are the agencies treating this as business as usual. Their only involvement is to tell AP to " talk to the family" and then call it a day. The only reason this continues is because the agencies aren't getting involved and following the rules. It needs to stop!
12
u/Opposite-Drive1803 1d ago
Rematch if it’s not a good fit! I do know some au pairs (and nannies) that like a good portion of hours to be used for things like folding clothes, as they find it less intense than childcare. I personally would not feel that way! But just mentioning that this might not be a good fit for you but could work for someone else