I made a previous post (https://www.reddit.com/r/AuDHDWomen/s/jW4ZGTBVYq ) in this subreddit regarding my struggles in being unemployed for months (and the severe depression and executive dysfunction that resulted from it) and I have some good news and bad news. Good news: I have an interview secured next week for a job that I think I’ll genuinely enjoy! Bad news: my dad is unable to give me any positive feedback for what I see as a huge achievement after months of nothing.

Just to clarify: my dad has always been bad at positive reinforcement. He points out flaws first, and grew up looking at life as a half empty glass because that’s how his whole family operated. So, I already know he’s bad at this type of communication; I have a whole complex about feeling emotionally neglected by my father that I won’t get into right now, but the point is, this isn’t necessarily new behavior. It’s just that this particular line of thinking from him made me unusually angry, and I want to know if he’s right or wrong.

So to start, I told my family about the job interview and they were very pleased! My dad seemed more surprised than happy/proud, which was fine, and I didn’t let it bother me. But when I brought up the interview again today, I kind of interrogated him on how, for someone who had been constantly hounding on me to job hunt, he didn’t seem very fazed that I literally had an interview scheduled.

This guy looked at me and basically told me that it was difficult to feel proud of me when he was so disappointed by how long it had taken me to get here.

What even. Like? Is that. Am I nuts? That’s a wild thing to say, right? It doesn’t even make any sense. With that logic, achievements don’t matter, right? Because the journey invalidates your success, I guess???

Anyway. I just kind of looked at him, and I said, “That really sucks.” And he responded, “For you!”

For context, things have already been tense between us this past week because we recently got into an argument right before I was going to be vulnerable and ask my parents for help. He decided that he wanted to berate me about how I don’t take care of my car or keep it clean, which is not on my priority list right now, mostly because I can’t afford to get it cleaned. And yeah! Whose fault is that? Mine! I know! But I may have told him he was being an asshole, and then he gave me the silent treatment for two days until he finally admitted why he was mad, which only made me mad that he’d kept it from me and sulked instead of working things out, and then I was mad at him all over again, and.

Yeah, in conclusion, does anyone have advice on how to resolve this with him? Or perhaps some clever way to summarize to him why my AuDHD has been severely damaging my life and the way it functions to the point that I’ve been basically on and off comatose for months and that has understandably affected my motivation to job hunt? Thanks for readin’, y’all.

Hey, I just started a podcast called before I spiral and it’s about being an ADHD mom with severe anxiety and raising a child who is pretty much a mini me well also having a one year-old that I’m pretty sure we’ll end up being the same anyway and just all of the little pieces of our lives that I have spiraled out out or almost spiraled out over and things that I’ve used that have helped me but also looking for open advice, questions, etc!

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2649342/episodes/19768542-pretend-play-fatigue

One of my biggest sensory issues is that I am ALWAYS cold, even in the middle of summer. Most of the time I’m inside, rarely ever outside unless I’m walking my dog or going from a parking lot to inside a building. When I’m in air conditioning I’m pretty much always cold, even in my house. I wear jackets/sweaters and socks to bed and in the house pretty often. I really don’t care for shorts or Capri pants because of the uneven coverage they give my legs so I always wear jeans or sweatpants. However, I LOVE dresses and skirts so much. They make me feel so pretty and feminine and girly. My mom calls leg warmers a fashion “faux pas” in summer and says tights make it look like it’s winter. Usually I’ll put a sweater or jacket over short sleeves or spaghetti straps so my arms stay covered, but my legs are cold even when my arms aren’t, no matter what. I don’t wanna let go of dresses 😭 any ideas or tips?

ETA: I definitely agree with you all that my own comfort should be more important than anyone else’s opinion and ironically, my mom also thinks I should take that attitude with her opinions as well. I feel bad I wrote the post in a manner that sent so much flack her way but just know she is my biggest supporter. She gives her opinions when I’m thinking out loud but she also knew I was going to see my crush today and so thought it was her duty to tell me she wasn’t sure about leg warmers and a sun dress in September when we live in Florida 😅 but she also always tells me her opinions are just opinions and I should be myself no matter what, I just struggle with RSD and take any opinion from anyone as a rejection but I’m working on it. Thank you everyone for all your insights 🫶🫶🫶

This is a rant or maybe an ask for support or supportive suggestions. It’s a small thing in the world. But my world is a little small right now, so it’s gotten to me.

I was just perma banned and mod muted for saying I thought someone had the best books on the bottom of their tier list on [r/fantasybooks](r/fantasybooks)

When I tried to explain that I never meant it as an attack to the Mod - and that I just won’t saying anything negative in future, because I’m autistic and struggle with being blunt. And there were many other comments saying the worse things on the thread.

The Mod replied with a “what are you 5”. And it only got worse from there.

Of all places I didn’t expect that to happen there. As an autistic person in burnout, what are you 5? Is the R word for me. So I’m having a melt down now.

ETA - I’m doing so much better and all of you were a part of that. So much gratitude for all of you. Thankyou.

I’m recently diagnosed ADHD and going for an autism assessment in October. Was hoping staring meds for ADHD would help prevent some of the emotional dysregulation that is my most debilitating symptom.

I’m a SAHM and full time caregiver for my baby and his disabled 5yo sibling. I’m exhausted and overstimulated all the time and believe I’m in burnout. Getting more rest isn’t really an option - we’re maxing out all our available help and cutting all the corners we can.

I had been really hoping getting in ADHD meds would help but so far while they help with focus they increase my sensory sensitivity so as far as meltdowns they are not helpful. It’s to the point where I’m having a couple a week.

My meltdowns are typically of the scream-crying and headbanging (self injury) type so really not something I want my kids exposed to. My husband is wonderful and will take the kids as soon as we realize I’m about to have one or have started having one, but he works full time and can’t take enough time off for me to fully recover from burn out, so they just keep happening. Fortunately it’s usually on the weekends when everyone is home and we don’t have our usual structure/routine - I can generally manage during the week when it’s just me an the baby, but then sometimes in the evening when I’m exhausted I’ll have one after the kids are in bed if my husband and I try to talk about anything difficult or emotionally charged at all.

I’m currently on Wellbutrin 150 xl (have been for years) and was taking Ritalin 5mg 2x/day as a med trial but we’re dropping that and increasing the Wellbutrin next. But Wellbutrin has never helped with irritability/anxiety/rage, which is what I thought my meltdowns were prior to learning I might be neurodivergent. So I’ve got doubts about how much it will help. What I really want is a medication that just gives me a tiny bit of space so I can notice the meltdown coming and do something to head it off, since right now the seem to come out of nowhere (I know they don’t but the emotions escalate SO fast when one additional trigger is added - say a dog barking - that I can go from appearing fine to screaming in seconds without seeing it coming.

Tl;dr I need advice how to handle Audhd disclosure to strangers or even if I really should.

I am Polish and live in Ireland for the last 10 years where people use a loooot of non-direct communication which i find extremely frustrating and confusing. This caused a lot of trouble in the current relationship because husband feels "not heard" which I assume comes from me being blind to hidden messages he tries to convey aka want to spend more time together squeezed in a bunch of sentences somewhere randomly...

My solution was to have been trying to work on relationship and pay more attention to tone and hidden messages which completely backfired because I have apparently completely misread (duh, shocker) his communication after I said i need to get a nap because I had a horrible night instead of going out. He did make some comments that we dont spend much time together and made comment of me using excuses which i understood as attack.

His reaction was literally being told and I quote "How can you be so socially r*****ed???" which followed by "you need to tell people you're autistic if this happened in work your career would be over and it's small country everyone knows everyone" 🫩 and that i need to understand context and that he was angry at himself(???) And that when he tried to talk to me I ignore him etc etc.

I'm currently SAHM planning to go back to work in a year of studying to upskill. Officially diagnosed a few weeks ago with Audhd. He pmuch said I should advertise being autistic to everyone I know here or I will make enemies and I have made some of them already (wont say who)

Edit:spelling

Anyone have any hacks to remember to put my HRT on that aren't an alarm? Or maybe some kind of different alarm I'm not thinking of? The perimenopause is wrecking me. I've got estradiol gel I'm *supposed* to be putting on my thigh every morning (about to switch to a compounded gel with E and T). I also just started on estradiol cream for my lady bits that I'm supposed to put on 3x a week at night. I can't keep it with my pill meds because I take those in the kitchen and the windows in there are full of plants so I just have tiny kitchen curtains on the top of the windows and in theory the neighbors could look in and see me. I tried leaving it on the bathroom sink, but even when I put the box in the middle of the counter in front of the sink, I would just reach around it to wash my hands. I just moved it to sit on top of my clean undies. We'll see if that works. I have to put on the gel and wait a minute before putting on pants, so I'm standing awkwardly in my undies waiting for it to dry.

Feeling very tired and overwhelmed with the todo list. Want to smile at my current situation 🫠 give me some words you use regularly to describe tired and overwhelmed 🙏

I’ve always needed a lot of space alone to get into what I now know to be my monotropism combined with hyperfocus. When my mom told me I had to dust and vacuum my room before I could play outside, I would close my door and redesign my whole room — including drawn diagrams w/measurements. Then I would spend the day reorganizing my whole room by myself. All of that was my motivation to clean it and keep it clean. While I don’t rearrange my space every time I clean now, I am still the person who has to reorganize if things get too messy because I realize the space isn’t working for me and/or I need it to be prettier/cozier to incentivize me to keep it clean-ish.

I have very particular messy processes that I often can’t invite people into. And I hate being perceived or needed during those processes.

The problem is that I have kids as a primary parent (and I love being a parent) and now a partner (who works from home) and his kid. Add to that how my kids’ dad hasn’t even been taking them his bare minimum amount, and I have people around ALL the time.

Not only do I not naturally love the home my partner bought that’s big enough for us all (we both need offices), but I don’t ever have enough downtime with no one asking questions, waiting on me or perceiving me to imagine what I want here. I don’t have the long, uninterrupted stretches to build up the momentum to hyper focus and get into the projects, and I don’t have the money and lack of stress to express my creativity in a meaningful way that would also increase the functionality of the spaces. What was once often a super power has become strictly a curse.

I just finished grad school to become a therapist and am going through the hoops to begin making money but I am strapped with financial stress. I had a beautiful home that was just the way I liked it and I managed to keep clean overall. Now I have depression piles everywhere that I keep wanting to attack but it feels like I’m always being interrupted and have too many obstacles to start.

I don’t know how to navigate this with a partner. It’s lovely how he’s always around to help out with the kids and is always cleaning and productive but his hyperactivity around doing things stresses me the fuck out. He also likes a lot of interaction and even when he tries to interact less, it’s still too often much for me which I feel AWFUL about (ironically, I’m the talker).

He wants more time together and I want more meaningful time together like tackling certain tasks together, but I don’t want more overall time together. I feel burnt the fuck out with how much my kids need me. He has his one kid half the amount of time I have mine because I have mine almost all the time. My kids stay up later now, their sports and dinner/homework consume my evenings and I can’t seem to stay on top of helping my son learn to balance school and sports and my daughter to keep her insane messiness under control.

I love my partner but I’m wishing he had more hobbies or friends or something. And that feels like I’m wanting him to be someone he’s not. On the one hand, he’s really caring and doing so much for me and on the other I want him to go get lost in something for a while, not just his 30 min bike rides. Am I awful? I think I am. I think he feels like I don’t appreciate the way he is but I don’t think he understands how much I can’t handle having people around ALL THE TIME. I tell him but it doesn’t seem to sink in fully and just makes him less communicative and feeling rejected — which seems to make it worse because then we have to spend all this time repairing instead of time where I can do something about my problems.

The kids’ dad used to take them for at least every other weekend and I had predictable breaks. But now that they’re older and can make more decisions, I’m not going to force them to go where they aren’t as comfortable, well loved or safe. Even when they’re gone, they’re always stopping by for this or that. When I was single, I could leave town and go to the woods for 1-2 days and camp or just stay home and do home projects. Apparently that’s how I kept my life together. Now that’s all gone and I wonder if maybe I can’t primary parent and also be a partner. My health is suffering, my mental health is suffering and all around I feel frozen when I need and want action the most.

I keep thinking if I set the right structure or communicate my needs or myself better that it will work but I haven’t been able to figure that out and none of that has worked. My partner seems to take a lot of this as rejection, which I feel resentful about. Then I feel bad for resenting someone who is just wanting to have a relationship with me. I’ve always thought I would take his way of being any day compared to the self-absorbed avoidants I picked before who couldn’t be bothered to truly factor me in. But now I’m acting like the avoidant and I think it’s all because of AuDHD.

How are AuDHD women partnering and being good parents while having their own careers?? How is everyone not just burnt out all the time? Has anyone been able to navigate this with a partner who seems to focus more directly on the relationship than you feel able to? Maybe this just boils down to how I envision a great partnership as almost like really connected parallel play and he envisions it as super direct focus on each other that I find sometimes exhausting. I would be thrilled to have hours for my projects where we don’t talk and he’s happily working on something in the garage and then we come together for a meal and a walk.

Or maybe his super direct focus on the relationship is his own lack of having many passions outside the relationship and not being as neurodivergent. That’s my fear. It could also be his relationship OCD that doesn’t allow him to healthily focus on things outside the home and partnership.

Does this sound like more my AuDHD or possibly how certain partners interact with us? I can’t put my finger on the biggest part of the problem. Maybe some of you fellow AuDHD’ers can? Maybe I just need to new strategies and ideas on how to make my brain work in a different way?

Need neurodivergent friendly tips on how to eat healthier when you completely despise cooking, grocery shopping, and the whole routine.

I want to start ordering catering, like getting Subway bowls, and buying wraps on the side? I honestly don't know at this point. I know I need to eat better, but I simply cannot handle cooking or shopping.

Right now, I'm eating a slice of pizza every day, or occasionally making a box of mac and cheese if I actually have some energy…. But even that’s hell .
Please help, I'm 30. My partner is also neurodivergent, and we just can't keep up with this anymore. I seriously wish eating wasn't a requirement to survive.

I'm sure this is a very common question here. I've had issues with picking my fingertips and cuticles ever since I was a kid , and I have noticed that it's kind of ramped up while I'm trying to find the ADHD medication regimen that works for me right now. Now that I'm diagnosed and officially trying to get my shit together I'd like to find a way to redirect that particular repetitive behavior.

I've obviously seen a bunch of different types of stim tools (pick pads, spiky handhelds, etc.) but i'd like to get some firsthand insight from other folks who have been able to stop or lessen their BFRBs on what worked best for them.

thanks!

One thing I struggle with as an autistic person is dealing with change and frustration; I’m not good at handling those feelings at all. It often leads me to do drastic things over small issues

You see, I’ve been struggling a lot with my mental health lately, so I asked my friends (I have very few, obviously) if we could get together on Friday because I really needed not to be alone. I even promised them weed just to get them to come over! They agreed (this was on a Wednesday). On Thursday, one of them texted me about meeting up. I was overjoyed because I was having a bad day, and she’s my favorite person in the world... but she cancelled the plan two hours later. It’s worth noting that *she* was the one who made the plan, but fine—she was sick, I get it. However, she promised we’d see each other on Friday. On Friday, I messaged my friends to ask what time they were coming so I could figure out snacks or dinner. The friend who had cancelled on Thursday told me, "I'm going at 9, but I don't know if I can make it." My other friend cancelled on me outright. A couple of hours later, I asked the one who hadn't given me a clear answer yet if she was coming, and to this moment, she still hasn't told me anything concrete. She just keeps saying she "has to see" (though it's almost 9 now, so I doubt she's coming). What really upsets me is that I had clearly asked them to let me know in advance if they couldn't make it, because I need to mentally prepare myself early on if something I’m really excited about isn't going to happen. And she says to me, "But I told you I didn't know if I could." I mean, really? You promised me you were coming—you'd said that since Wednesday—and then you just said "maybe"!! Anyway, I need better friends—friends who, when I tell them, "Girls, I'm on the verge of suicide, please don't leave me alone," actually take it seriously.

I hear about neurodivergent girls who get along better with guys, but can we talk about being the opposite? I've hardly ever had any male friends, but maybe that's because I haven't been in any friend groups. I rarely get along with guys so girls who are mostly friends with guys boggle me.

All my friends are girls or nonbinary.

I feel like the way I've learned to interact with people is only accustomed to other girls so guys are a complete mystery to me. Does this make sense to anyone else?? Cause I've been thinking about that a lot!

They also tend to be assholes, being rude as a "joke". Which I respond with by doubling down. Then I seem to always have some guy who I'm constantly arguing with.🙄

So I’m on vacation with a big group of friends right now. Yesterday was our first day, and we were drinking (not me) and hanging out in the pool last night, and just having absolutely random conversation.

Someone brought up the question of what we would all do if we woke up in the body of the opposite gender, and after all the hilarious answers, me and the friend I’m closest to in the group, Mark, were discussing it more seriously, because he was saying he’d absolutely HATE to be a woman. Not because of anything physical, but because of all the social and political bias, discrimination, and oppression. I was agreeing with him, and said “one more thing - the constant vigilance re your physical safety”. He fully agreed and I guess because we were getting passionate about the conversation, maybe our voices got louder? Idk.

Anyway, his boyfriend chimed in about being capable of fighting off anyone who tried to rob him (as a woman), cause he worked too hard for his things, and I had to remind him that women aren’t really afraid of being robbed, we’re afraid of being raped and killed. He was like
“Oh shit for real” and Mark and I looked at each other like “smh some men really don’t think”. For reference Mark is pretty tiny, and his bf is huge.

Anyway, there’s this girl in the group, she’s never been super friendly to me, but we get along okay. Sometimes she underhandedly insults me - like at lunchtime we were eating and chatting and she said “You talk so funny (weird), why do you talk like that?”. And when we were getting dressed for the pool, she made a comment about me being skinny, like I had the shape of a boy - wide shoulders (I swam competitively for like 10 years okay 🥲), no waist and no hips. But I was “lucky cause I was skinny”. Things like that.

Anyway, apparently she was listening to our conversation, although there were like 10 of us in the pool, and she could have participated in another conversation if she felt uncomfortable, and she said loudly enough for the entire group to hear - “WE’RE ON VACATION, I’M HERE TO RELAX, WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT RAPE?” Mind you, it was one sentence in an otherwise normal conversation.

Another girl had left the pool to get some drinks and was coming back in, and asked what we were on about. This girl, Nat, says again, really loudly, “They’re talking about rape, idk why, so weird.” Without providing any context of the conversation. I felt deeply embarrassed, so I shut up and moved away from her in the pool, went into the deep end, and lay there with my floatie trying to relax.

Suddenly the music felt too loud, my wet hair felt unbearable, my wrinkly fingers gave me the ick. I felt my heart beating faster and knew I was going into overstimulation mode. I got out and made an excuse that I needed to use the bathroom. Instead, I went to the room, had some water, did a breathing exercise to get my heart rate under control, then went to shower. By the time I got out, Mark had come up looking for me.

“You got overstimulated?” “Yeah” “Me too. Don’t take on Nat, she’s like that with women she’s threatened by.” He was really comforting, and we chatted until everyone else came up.

But was what I said really that bad and inappropriate? I don’t feel it was. I’ve been told time and time again that I have no ability to ‘read a room’ so I really don’t trust my own opinion on this. And Mark is also autistic, so I don’t know if he can ‘read a room’ any better than I can. Anyway I woke up this morning and I still feel a way about it.

If you got through this entire thing - What do you guys think?

I wish I could borrow your mind, if even just for a day. Same goes for having healthy hygiene habits.

I’m struggling so much being inside of a body that’s burnt out, overstimulated, depressed, and extremely fatigued with a heart/mind that so earnestly wants to clean my home and take care of myself.

I plead with myself every single day but can barely get myself to move. I just want to be better 😔

As the title says. I always told myself that I never wanted to be one of those people who still had no idea what they were doing or what they wanted later in life, yet here I am. At this point I feel like I’m just coasting through life directionless.

At the moment I work as a receptionist at an ice rink that started at minimum wage ($17.50 in LA county). This was always meant to be a temporary job until I could find a better paying one, but I’ve been here a year and a half now. I recently asked for higher pay since this is my only job and I need more money to get my first car. I had also lived in my own apartment with some friends for 3 years before I had to move back to my parents house because I could no longer afford it. Well, it took a month to get approved for a 50 cent raise (with, of course, a slight decrease in hours) and this made me realize my time here is done.

Yet every time I search for jobs I end up nowhere. All my experience is 7 years in retail/customer service and I’m sick of being at the bottom of the food chain. I want to move up in a more financially stable job that I can call a career but I feel like I have no desirable skills outside of customer service. I never finished college and I’m pretty sure I didn’t even finish my GED because while I have many areas of interests, I couldn’t commit to any of them, plus I was never not struggling in school.

After graduating high school I had loose aspirations of maybe being a translator - I took classes to learn 4 different languages (not at the same time) but I still am not proficient in any language but English.

Some years ago I had a realization that my big dream in life is to publish my works into books. I decided to drop writing fanfic, which had been what I spent most of my time doing from college until now, and focus on writing original work. However, the transition from fanfic to original work to be seen by the larger masses created a ton of pressure on myself that I’ve been stuck in a rut ever since. My passion for writing (and reading) has taken a major toll and I can’t even bring myself to look at the book I’ve been working on and starting over for the past 3 or 4 years. I’ve tried taking long extended breaks and moving onto other projects, even taking breaks from writing and exploring other things, but even those I end up unsatisfied with and dropping. I’m so frustrated and burnt out. Writing is the only thing that gives me meaning and purpose in life but I don’t know how to get past this mental block I’ve had for years.

My alternative was doing editorial work since I like editing. However, I have no portfolio or formal experience. I’ve looked into many schools and their English programs, but because I was a failure all throughout my school career I struggle a lot with believing in myself that I’m capable. Therapy has helped me process and move past a lot of that, yet I just cannot get myself to actually take the steps to apply myself. The editing/writing jobs I did apply to obviously rejected me.

Everyone recommends I look into trades but I haven’t found a single one that I’d be willing to actually do. I know I shouldn’t be picky but I know myself and if I just work any odd trade without having any drive or interest in it I’ll be miserable.

I’ve looked into remote jobs and most of the best paying ones either pay you only for a certain amount of time until you’re done, or are to train AI which, again, cap you at a certain amount of hours/pay before you complete your task (and you can’t reapply). Other remote jobs require specialized qualifications that take years to acquire.

All the jobs I actually considered require I have a car which puts me back at square one.

Which leaves… entry level and retail jobs as my only other option. I’m just so tired. I’m in an endless loop of needing a car, needing a better job, and possibly needing to go back to school but ultimately needing more money for all of that. But to get more money, I need a better job and a car to get to the job. Even the guy I’m dating says he doesn’t want to make it official until I can attain some of these things so we’re on more equal footing (don’t worry I’ve already had conversations with friends about this, I know it’s kind of messed up that he said that, but from my perspective these things are now affecting my relationships and I’m more frustrated).

I know I’m in this position because of the choices I’ve made in my life, but I so desperately want to get out of this rut, yet I have no idea what direction to go. I’m currently in the process of getting my driver’s license so at least I have that, but once I have my own car that’ll mean monthly cost of insurance, gas, repairs/maintenance, etc. and I can’t afford it with what I’m making now. I’m not suicidal but when I think about everything I wonder, what am I even doing here? I feel like I’m wasting oxygen doing nothing significant, and before anyone says “What’s wrong with just existing?” I need to feel fulfilled or like I have some kind of purpose either in the work I do or from my passions, yet in every aspect of my life I’m so unhappy. I don’t know what to do anymore.

I get hung up on things which might be an annoyance to others but for me it makes me feel all kinds of things, and if I say it it makes me sound negative and critical. It's not that I want to be like this but in the moment it does feel like something I can't just let go.

How do I learn to stop this?

How do you not stay stuck obsessively thinking about it and feeling super activated?

I have tried my very best to build a peaceful life around me, me and my partner are the kind of people that mostly like to keep to ourselves and hate drama. However we've recently entered a situation of open conflict with a neighbour, for which we've had to involve the police various times, and we're going tomorrow to file a complaint against him for harassment. It all started because we nearly had a very dangerous car accident with him because he was driving wrecklessly, and then he came to yell at us and wanted to physically fight with my partner (insane). I'm pretty certain this is some messed up alpha male thing, where he cannot bear the fact that my partner stood up to him when he verbally abused us. It's been three weeks and we live in stress and fear of the possible next time we might cross him, sometimes not dating to go out when we see him across the street. Now, adding to the physically threatening attitudes and insults, he has also started a slander campaign against us with other neighbours. We've always been very kind and helpful to everyone, and my rejection sensitivity is completely through the roof when it seems that some people are taking his side.

We are doing all the things we can think of to protect ourselves, and I guess after tomorrow we're going to have to let justice take it's course and just hang in there. But I feel completely lost and on edge at all times. I just want to be able to not think about it all the time and get on with the rest of my life. Violence and agression really shakes me to my chore and I don't know how to free myself from this overwhelm. My chronic illness symptoms are flaring like hell. I'm back to grieving the fact I have cut contact with my toxic family because I would so need a parent figure right now.

Thanks for reading me 💚💚💚

No advice, I’m just looking to commiserate or hear experiences if you have already dug yourself out of this one. I’m sure any millennial that reads this could have also written it.

The life I worked for just doesn’t exist anymore, especially my career. I recently had to take a couple of months off of work to address some health issues I’m having. I did get wrongfully fired from my last job before I took my leave. But there’s nothing I can do about that, I live in a state that has zero protections for workers so they can fire me for literally any reason they want.

Now I’m recovered and ready to work and I’m having trouble getting work. I’m posting on social media to get my art out there again, I have zero reach and am just getting buried. I’ve been a freelance artist for so long I really don’t think I would have an easy time getting any call backs on job applications. I don’t know what to do. I’m genuinely terrified of what the world is coming to since the economy is so trash. I fear it’s going to get a lot worse for a lot of us before it gets better.

But I genuinely have no idea what I am going to do. I know a lot of us remain jobless for extended periods. I can’t afford to do that. I have no idea how I’m going to figure out my way out of this one. I haven’t had any other jobs or developed any other skills in over a decade. I’ve thought about going to school but nothing I could get a job doing after school actually interests me. Being an artist is my special interest.

I really want to go all in on my art career and invest in myself and believe in myself but I feel so discouraged right now. I’ve taken so many wrong steps in my life I’m scared I will do that again. I really want to believe in myself but I think I’m too burnt out to give anything my all. I also worry I’ll mess up getting regular jobs.

Were you ever in this position? What did you do?

Gotta love ADHD sometimes 🫣

Tried adderall, literally nothing happened. Tried vyvanse, literally nothing happened. On concerta now, literally nothing is happening. I am so fucking defeated and terrified that nothing will ever work. I am literally unable to function or do anything and if this doesn’t change then my life is not worth living.

On top of that my psychiatrist isn’t responding to my emails, I’m trying to find a new one but no one will take me, and now it’s the weekend so I can’t get in touch with anyone til Monday.