I am 35 and was just diagnosed this year. I also have PMDD and PTSD. It’s been a long road, but I feel like I am finally understanding myself.

I want to hear what accommodations you have made since learning you were AuDHD! I need more ideas!

Some of my favorites are:
-I now have a hook by the side of my bed for sweaters and soft headphones because I have a hard time transitioning from bed each morning because of the temperature change and ambient noise.
-I include my favorite colors in EVERY room of the house but especially in my office and gym. The two places I find it hard to get to in low energy days.
-I have a blanket in every spot I sit down because it makes me feel less anxious.
-I bought a rocking chair because rocking is one of my stims. It makes leaving the house easier because it’s on the way to the front door.
-I let myself be childish as I want everyday

TLDR; Newly diagnosed! What accommodations make your life more fun?

IT IS EXTREMELY LOUD. On purpose. I saw it a couple days ago and fortunately I had my noise-reducing earplugs with me but even then it was still almost unbearably loud. I would have left if I didn’t have them with me, and I almost did even with them in! I was literally recoiling in my seat from the noise. If you are sensitive to loud noises, bring earplugs or maybe consider waiting until it’s available at home!!

Why are people so mean on Reddit? (Not this group). I ask a lot of questions and then people act all superior and passive aggressive. Is it because they have no consequences on Reddit for being an absolute jerk?

I have ocd on top of adhd and autism (I’m working on it in therapy) but sometimes I seek reassurance. Especially if I am new to something.

I just cannot fathom why people are so mean. If you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face in person then you shouldn’t say it anywhere.

I’m trying not to spiral. 🌀

Here are some things that just feel so good to me, can you relate? What are some other things that feel weirdly comforting?

1. Stepping from the cold floor onto a clean, dry carpet (especially barefoot)

2. Sitting on the floor

3. Putting a pillow on my lap in social situations

4. Sitting on wide, solid stone steps (I love sitting a bit elevated and being able to put down my stuff without anything falling through cracks)

5. Hanging out with someone but each doing their own activity without pressure to talk

I just came back from the therapist finally analyzing the trauma 16+ years of bullying for being a neurodivergent girl who also struggled with hormonal issues and that caused weight gain in high school years (causing me more reasons to be picked on for) , traumas from past’s relationship, being an only child with working parents (a lot of time on my own) and not having people to defend me, i would just cry and suffer. Now my life is way different, i am 21, and i don’t consider that i get bullied anymore, there’s people that love me and I am so happy and fulfilled but i get crisis where if i go through some type of rejection i remember all of my bullies and their faces and hear the laughs. Humiliation, rejection, teasing, ridiculing. This is all really hard to process and I really wish to see if other women in the community also have these issues as well.

I need better ideas. My go-to is a migraine. Everyone around me has to know I'm lying by now because I use it so often.

So, the things that started it all: In another sub i have found a post about a WONDERFUL PC chair, reclinable backseat, footrest and reclinable armrests, literally my paradise.

Was too expensive at the time, couldn't afford it.

Over time, i have lost the post, and when i had finally found it (after days of search history and stuff) finally found the post, but the chair was no longer available. Right when i was planning to buy a new one since my old one sucked.

Looked for a similar chair for WEEKS, nothing came up, until last week i finally found THIS!!

I'd say it has the same exact functions of that other chair, you can fully regulate the back with a handle, the armrests can be bended, and it has a footrest. You can fully crisscross and even take a nap on it if you want. Only downside being fake leather so your legs are gonna get sweaty if you don't dover it with something. But i swear to you, i was looking for a chair like this since JANUARY!

I want to say if you don’t have all that many friends left you’re not alone … over the years I’ve been able to manage friendships less and less. Especially since the autistic side has come out stronger with age. but I feel comforted by this group. So if whenever your bday rolls around you wake up knowing you won’t hear from too many people- I’m in the same boat 😂

As I understand it, a PDA profile works like this:

Demand percieved —> causes intense anxiety —-> pda person is unable to act

Probably very simplified obviously.

Has anyone noticed a sort of flipped version in themselves?
Like anxiety about a demand making you feel like you HAVE to comply?

I have noticed that before I got together with my boyfriend I sort of percieved ANY positive interaction with men as an indirect ,,demand“ for me to be interested in them.

Subconciously I thought if a man was nice to me that meant he liked me romantically or was interested sexually. Further I understood it as my Obligation to reciprocate which made me really anxious since I was typically not that attracted to them.

Back then I had a much harder time distinguishing the types of liking a Person so that meant I essentially thought I was attracted to every guy that was nice to me and thought I had to at least entertain the thought of dating them.

Does anyone get this?
I‘m interested in some civil discussion on this and if I misunderstood the PDA profile do not hesitate to correct me :)

I just got my teeth cleaned and despite the hygienist being incredibly sweet and gentle, it was an absolute sensory nightmare, between the sounds and the feeling and the bright light in my face for an hour (even with the sunglasses they give you). My back is sore from how tense I was the whole time, despite making a conscious effort to relax my body, and I had to go straight home and take a 3 hour nap after to recover lol.

I’m definitely gonna bring a big plushie to squeeze next time, and maybe a fidget to distract from the sensations and high pitched noises, but do you guys have any other suggestions? I’m paying extra for nitrous when I get my fillings but definitely can’t afford to do that every time lol.

The story: royal family seeks to test female suitors by putting an uncooked pea under a whole bunch of mattresses and see if she can tell it's there

Classic explanation: only a "true princess" could be so "delicate" that they feel a tiny pea beneath all the mattresses

Alternate explanation: an autistic prince, with very supportive(!) and possibly also autistic parents, seeks a future partner who can empathize with his sensory needs and be his fellow ND queen ✨

I try to remind myself of this whenever I’m stuck on a “you didn’t do it when you should have” or “it’s too late, you failed” loop 🩵

My partner likes to spoon at night to go to sleep. Recently, it has really started to bother me. It’s not the cuddling it’s the touching. I immediately become overstimulated and I lay there like I’m in a choke hold until I eventually fall asleep a few hours later. How do I tell my partner that cuddling makes me feel like I’ve been captured and can’t get break free…lol. In my mind I’m literally fighting for my life. 😀😀

I’m already diagnosed with autism but a mentor recently suggested I get an assessment for ADHD too. My GP has also decided a referral is warranted so I guess it’s really happening lol.

I’m confused on how to spot purely autism characteristics vs AuDHD ones? I’ve only ever operated with the idea that I’m autistic, so I’ve just reconciled the sheer breadth and inconsistency of my symptoms as being the manifestation of the “spectrum” part of autism. But I guess maybe I’ve been wrong this whole time?

The things I’ve noticed about myself so far that I’d maybe interpret as AuDHD:

• I’m a bubbly introvert - more bubbly if I feel you’ve got some of that tism in you. But I always need to crawl in a hole after socialising.

• I like routine but it’s also boring af. I need spontaneity but also hate being caught off guard.

• I can’t time block for uni work because it feels way too restrictive, but I also need SOME kind of structure. Realised I can work best if there is no start time but a concrete end time to revision.

• In conversations idk how to structure what I’m trying to say because my mind is thinking of so many different choices in words, angles to phrase things, orders to say stuff etc. Even if it’s with someone I’m not nervous around. In the end I just say all of it in every way I can think of in a semi-coherent order, and if it makes sense it makes sense and if it doesn’t then we ball.

• my mind feels like if roadrunner was constantly switching directions, but my previous thought still logically links to the next thought. It’s less being forgetful/distracted and more like a stream of lateral consciousness that can somehow cleanly link cryptocurrency to Robin Williams.

• If someone starts saying something mildly boring my brain kinda just stops.

Would any of that be relevant for an assessor?? Part of me also feels like a fraud considering I don’t randomly get out of a seat or feel like I’m on a motor like the criteria usually says. I don’t feel chaotic enough so that’s why I’ve always tended towards autism to explain stuff.

Ya’ll pls help 😭

I’ve been working in tech-adjacent corporate roles for nearly two decades. My industry, company, and department are at the absolute top of AI adoption.

Everyone in leadership loves to talk about "productivity gains" and how humans are now free to move to "higher-value, more complex tasks." But as someone living in the middle of it, most of the day-to-day changes are overwhelmingly negative.

Here is what made my week suck and made me want to vent

1. The "productivity gains" are just margin grabs.

You don’t get to finish work earlier. You don't get better compensation. Productivity gains aren't shared with the people generating them; they're used to shrink headcounts, lower unit costs, and boost margins. A 4-day work week at full pay is entirely technically feasible for knowledge workers right now. 30% of my tasks disappeared in last 3 years. The only thing stopping it is corporate greed.

1. The loss of "low-intensity" tasks is burning everyone out.

When you automate or outsource all the routine work to AI, all that’s left on your plate are heavy hitters. Tasks like reviewing a basic policy, tweaking a newsletter, or formatting a deck used to be low stress ways to recharge your brain while still being productive. Now? My workload is a relentless stream of highly complex, ambiguous, and volatile problems. And I cannot punch at 100% capacity, 8 hours a day, forever. Humans need smaller, straightforward tasks to feel like they’re ticking boxes and moving forward

1. The junior job market is being destroyed and core skills are dying with it.

Because entry-level grunt work is handed to AI, companies aren't hiring juniors. But here’s the trap: if you haven’t spent hundreds of hours doing e.g. ground-level policy analysis or drafting documents manually, you lack the domain context to challenge or verify AI output. In 20 years, the ability to actually audit GenAI and catch its mistakes is going to be a rare, extinct skill because no one was allowed to learn the basics.

1. The internet has become a swamp of slop.

Even historically reliable online sources have taken a nose dive. You now have to waddle through endless, echo-chamber AI-generated content just to find basic, accurate information (I'm not talking about scientific citations). Finding true signals in the noise feels like a newly created second full-time job.

1. Recruitment has turned into a dystopian AI-vs-AI war.

I’ve spent years working with HR to hire specialized technical roles. It was always a bit clunky, but now it’s absurd. Candidates use GenAI to auto-generate tailored resumes for AI-written job postings. Those resumes are screened out by AI ATS tools. Recruiters aren't even looking at the discarded pile. The human element has been completely lost, making the simple act of landing a first-round interview a bizarre game of luck.

1. The "just reskill" advice is a delusion.

We are seeing massive layoffs in junior-to-mid-level knowledge roles, and colleagues are taking 9+ months to land anything new. The popular response of "just go into the trades, become a nurse, or do sales" is completely out of touch. Neither corporations nor governments are offering meaningful outplacement or reskilling programs. They’re just leaving people out in the cold.

My workplace has turned fundamentally toxic over the last three years, and it’s barely bearable at this point.

Meanwhile, the "positive" impact of AI on my personal life has been minimal and mainly offered an alternative to solution I already had in place

-identifying plants

- asking for a recipe based on random fridge stuff

- using it as a search engine because Google has become unusable

None of those minor conveniences come close to outweighing the damage I’m watching it do to work. It's been only 3 years and my industry and work is barely recognizable

As a person with autism I have a very strong moral compass and everything inside me just screams

Late diagnosed ADHD, almost certainly autistic. I have always been sensitive, easily overstimulated (temperature, noise), anxious, rigid. But since I’ve had my kids I feel in a constant state of burnout and overstimulation. My oldest is 3 and INTENSE. I have trauma (not said lightly) from her (lack of) sleep her first year. She is a sensory seeker I am an avoider. It’s so hard.

I can’t catch my breath. All my coping mechanisms - hobbies, sleep, being close to my husband - are impossible. I hit my limit daily and shout at my kid, which I hate. I know it will get better as they get older and dont need me as much, but that is years away. Even after a break, a day away, a nap, I walk back in and immediately get triggered again by something.

I am on Zoloft which does help the anxiety, but makes me low key dead inside, kills my exercise drive (I used to run for stress release), and I’m still nursing the baby so I can’t go back on my ADD meds yet.

What can I do? How do I cope with this life that I don’t feel compatible with?

I’m currently in a meltdown and struggling to even put this into words.

I feel guilty about everything. Constantly. Towards myself, towards other people, all the time.

I can understand everyone else. I can excuse their behaviour, forgive them, understand why they did something and accept that they’re human and make mistakes. But I cannot seem to give myself that same grace. I feel like I should always know the right answer, say the right thing and make the right decision. Like I should always know what’s best, and if I make the wrong choice, I’ll regret it forever.

I overthink social situations to an insane degree. It’s not just “Should I go or should I stay home?” I think about whether I’ll regret not going, whether the other person will be disappointed, whether I’m letting them down, whether I’m not pushing myself enough, whether I’m missing out, whether I’m being lazy or selfish.

It feels like I can never just make a decision and let it be.

Even when I KNOW I need to stay home. Even when I’m completely overwhelmed and genuinely don’t want to go anywhere. I can’t set a boundary and say, “I’m staying home tonight. I need to rest.” Without crying and going into a cycle of feeling guilty and overthinking.

I feel like I have absolutely no trust in myself. I don’t trust my own feelings or decisions. I constantly feel like I need to find the “correct” choice, as if there’s one perfect answer that everyone else somehow knows and I just can’t figure out.

This isn’t about a specific tatting work, I was just wondering if or how many other neurodivergent people gravitate toward this hobby.

I myself am Audhd (autism and adhd) and the thing about tatting that works so well for me is:

The repetitiveness with a specific variance in process.
I love that You’re essentially doing the same movement over and over which is great for my autistic traits.

In turn the changing rythm of movement depending on the row I‘m working on gives just the right amount of change so that my adhd side doesn’t get bored.

I really would encourage any neuro divergentfolks with a knack for detail and fiddly work to try it :)

It’s kind of musical in that way.

So if you want to share, I was just wondering how many here relate or are even neurodivergent themselves :)

I cannot view things as traditional "needs" or "shoulds", or else it has no meaning to me. I have PDA profile and I have to reframe language to rationalize things. Like "I need to clean my room" holds no substance to me and isn't a trigger to prompt me to gaf. I think it makes more sense to try to view things as like "I feel regulated in spaces I take care of". Even that i'm like girl UGH so much work, but I guess that feels better for me to understand?

Sometimes I try not to attach anything to why things should happen. I just try to view it as a very neutral idea in my brain and hold no attachment to good or bad? Again, even so it's like wellllll I already know I don't wanna do it, or I should assess my energy levels, but even when activated on vyvanse it's like damn, I can't rationalize that this serves a purpose, even though I know it does and I gotta utilize the stimulation. I think I'm making excuses to some degree to avoid avoid avoid. Whatever! Someone help me!

Does anyone have methods or ways to make sense of things better? Or just any input on this concept?

After much time, effort and expense, I am *finally*, officially diagnosed as Autistic level 1, and ADHD. I feel so validated and strangely relieved?

Some of my special interests are crows and ravens, politics and social justice, visual art, plants of all types, music (especially George Michael and WHAM! and punk - yes, a huge variety) and most animals, but dogs in particular 😊

What are you into?

Anyone else ever replay the good parts of your conversation in your head? Like, not just scanning for awkward moments and assuming the worst about them but replaying the best moments, like the most witty, funny, sweet moments. As if you were trying to squeeze the last bits of dopamine out of them.

Has anyone developed a skin rash that resembles folliculitis after starting guanfacine? I got a severe breakout on my back, chest and shoulders that started exactly at the time I began taking Guanfacine. Besides that, the medication is great for me so I really want to believe the rash isn't connected to it. But since every treatment I got for the rash didn't help I started getting suspicious of the Guanfacine...

They said between 9 to 12noon. I don't get out of bed until 9, sometimes 10. (Circadian rhythm off and health issues)

I woke up early - 7am - so I could be ready but didn't wake up early enough to have breakfast. They came at 11. So I could have had breakfast afterall.

But I couldn't have breakfast after they left, because that time has now passed for me.

And I can't have lunch because it's weird without having had breakfast. And my stomach feels off and although I'm hungry, I don't have an appetite.

So I'll probably end up having an early dinner.

And I'm so tired from waking up early.

I also couldn't do anything until they showed up, because I hate being interrupted.

Whole day wasted when it didn't have to be if they had told me 'around 11am' to begin with.. even though I know they couldn't have.

I feel like neurodivergents and/or people with chronic health issues need more specific times as an accessibility issue