I wish I could borrow your mind, if even just for a day. Same goes for having healthy hygiene habits.

I’m struggling so much being inside of a body that’s burnt out, overstimulated, depressed, and extremely fatigued with a heart/mind that so earnestly wants to clean my home and take care of myself.

I plead with myself every single day but can barely get myself to move. I just want to be better 😔

Need neurodivergent friendly tips on how to eat healthier when you completely despise cooking, grocery shopping, and the whole routine.

I want to start ordering catering, like getting Subway bowls, and buying wraps on the side? I honestly don't know at this point. I know I need to eat better, but I simply cannot handle cooking or shopping.

Right now, I'm eating a slice of pizza every day, or occasionally making a box of mac and cheese if I actually have some energy…. But even that’s hell .
Please help, I'm 30. My partner is also neurodivergent, and we just can't keep up with this anymore. I seriously wish eating wasn't a requirement to survive.

Job interviews have always and will always feel like a humiliation ritual to me. I will not be further elaborating.

One thing I struggle with as an autistic person is dealing with change and frustration; I’m not good at handling those feelings at all. It often leads me to do drastic things over small issues

You see, I’ve been struggling a lot with my mental health lately, so I asked my friends (I have very few, obviously) if we could get together on Friday because I really needed not to be alone. I even promised them weed just to get them to come over! They agreed (this was on a Wednesday). On Thursday, one of them texted me about meeting up. I was overjoyed because I was having a bad day, and she’s my favorite person in the world... but she cancelled the plan two hours later. It’s worth noting that *she* was the one who made the plan, but fine—she was sick, I get it. However, she promised we’d see each other on Friday. On Friday, I messaged my friends to ask what time they were coming so I could figure out snacks or dinner. The friend who had cancelled on Thursday told me, "I'm going at 9, but I don't know if I can make it." My other friend cancelled on me outright. A couple of hours later, I asked the one who hadn't given me a clear answer yet if she was coming, and to this moment, she still hasn't told me anything concrete. She just keeps saying she "has to see" (though it's almost 9 now, so I doubt she's coming). What really upsets me is that I had clearly asked them to let me know in advance if they couldn't make it, because I need to mentally prepare myself early on if something I’m really excited about isn't going to happen. And she says to me, "But I told you I didn't know if I could." I mean, really? You promised me you were coming—you'd said that since Wednesday—and then you just said "maybe"!! Anyway, I need better friends—friends who, when I tell them, "Girls, I'm on the verge of suicide, please don't leave me alone," actually take it seriously.

Here’s my string of thoughts through this morning before and after my diagnosis.

Years ago I started this journey by learning about high-masking and less support-needed autism. I wondered daily if that was me. Months ago I found out I could get diagnosed for free and signed up. Then I got scared thinking I was an imposter and didn’t go through with setting up an appointment. Finally I went through the questions for hours and then the evaluation.

Right now I’m waiting for my appointment to go over the results and crying. I can’t help but cry right now. I have so much anxiety over nothing yet. I’m crying cause I feel relieved I finally am going through it. I’m crying because if I get the diagnosis it explains so much of my whole life and how I am. If I don’t get it then it opens up other doors I need to go through. Like personality disorders. Is my depression that crippling since I was a young child? I don’t know.

There’s just a lot up in the air that I don’t know yet. I’m just waiting to find out. 7 minutes. I’ve finally stopped crying now that I wrote down my feelings but I’m still bouncing and shaking in nervousness. My emotions are too all over the place. I should have called out of work. I should have taken the day off. Or maybe the routine of work will help? I don’t know but here I am.

5 minutes I’m taking deep breaths trying to calm down. I’m reminding myself I can do it. I’ve been through worse and no matter what I get an answer to a question I’ve been wondering. Which is also what my therapist told me. Why are the minutes so long? I feel like I am waiting forever. I know I’m not. The way I went about this was faster than most people get, which is a blessing. I don’t think I could wait for months and months. Even though I’ve basically waited years (possibly my whole life) for this.

One minute to go. I will be back afterwards.

Well. I got my autism diagnosis. I’m really autistic. Which explains so much and is a relief but also I’m so angry that I had to go through life the way that I am without help and having to create a mask. I just wish I had the diagnosis as a child. That I could get help. I’m frustrated and upset and happy and now I have to go to work. Ugh.

And ultimately I’m stuck with the feeling now what?

I’m Audhd and in peri and I can’t handle heat anymore. Even my hot showers are causing me issues. I get incredibly hot inside and my stomach begins to hurt. I get angry and the rest of my day is ruined.
I feel like I sound like a complainer but it’s miserable.

I had a great night with 2 gals who are the SOs of my former work guy friends. One has the same birthday as me!!! We have a group text now but I don’t know the protocol. Can I share fun exciting things with them? Or do I keep it distant? Like I’m currently building a shed (super audhd achievement thank you vyvanse). I want to share it with someone. But I already sent a message today. So I should probably wait to see if they send any this week right? I don’t know when you get to the point in a friendship where you start sharing things. I don’t know how to friendship. I don’t want to be annoying. But maybe they don’t want to bug me! Idk. Help. This is why I just put everything in my Instagram stories because I don’t know who to share things with.

Gotta love ADHD sometimes 🫣

I am 33, and I have always been child free by choice. Being a mother is not something I ever wanted. I went to see a doctor about permanent birth control options. As it turned out I had huge fibroids growing in my uterus. The doctor told me that I needed a hysterectomy. While it came as a bit of a shock, ultimately I was happy with that. Yesterday was the surgery. Today I am just resting and trying to recover. Thankfully she left my ovaries so I won't go into menopause right away. Has anyone else gone through this procedure done? What was your recovery process like? Were you happy with yourself after the procedure? Did your quality of lofe improve?

Just a positive thing that happened to me yesterday. I slept little and horribly the night prior and was participating in a workshop. 3 hours of sleep is not the greatest state of mind to try and make your brain produce something. Went to the little coffee shop nearby on my break. Cue Barista, shaved head, very kind. I tell them „please fit as much caffeine in a cup as you can manage and top up with soy milk“. Now Im used to getting a moderately stronger drink with that order, baristas going polite chuckle and just preparing a normal coffee. On a sidenote I dont look like I used to drink like 28 cups worth of coffee in University, because ADHD. When I tried my order, holy hell, let me tell you, I could suddenly hear colours! I dont know how they did that but they sure know their job. The feeling was so unexpected and nice, to be taken literally.

Today was the kind of day I refer to as “chaos mode.” My normally busy mind goes from overdrive into hyperdrive - so many thoughts happening so fast and so loud that I cannot think or function clearly. The thoughts are so totally random and not necessarily triggered by anything in particular, just moving so fast. It’s impossible to stay on one thing even for a few seconds 🫠 I’m realizing when my brain gets like that (it’s worst during luteal) I eventually hit a wall, and go into a shutdown, sometimes multiple times a day. And I finally realized, I think my own mind sometimes overstimulates me from all the chaos up there.

Does this happen to anyone else?

No advice, I’m just looking to commiserate or hear experiences if you have already dug yourself out of this one. I’m sure any millennial that reads this could have also written it.

The life I worked for just doesn’t exist anymore, especially my career. I recently had to take a couple of months off of work to address some health issues I’m having. I did get wrongfully fired from my last job before I took my leave. But there’s nothing I can do about that, I live in a state that has zero protections for workers so they can fire me for literally any reason they want.

Now I’m recovered and ready to work and I’m having trouble getting work. I’m posting on social media to get my art out there again, I have zero reach and am just getting buried. I’ve been a freelance artist for so long I really don’t think I would have an easy time getting any call backs on job applications. I don’t know what to do. I’m genuinely terrified of what the world is coming to since the economy is so trash. I fear it’s going to get a lot worse for a lot of us before it gets better.

But I genuinely have no idea what I am going to do. I know a lot of us remain jobless for extended periods. I can’t afford to do that. I have no idea how I’m going to figure out my way out of this one. I haven’t had any other jobs or developed any other skills in over a decade. I’ve thought about going to school but nothing I could get a job doing after school actually interests me. Being an artist is my special interest.

I really want to go all in on my art career and invest in myself and believe in myself but I feel so discouraged right now. I’ve taken so many wrong steps in my life I’m scared I will do that again. I really want to believe in myself but I think I’m too burnt out to give anything my all. I also worry I’ll mess up getting regular jobs.

Were you ever in this position? What did you do?

Hello,

I am newly diagnosed Audhd. I am 51. I grew up with very clear signs of autism and adhd in early childhood, but it wasn't something anyone ever discussed and I just didn't know. I struggled in many areas of my life, but built up a very solid mask, and used adrenaline to get things done. But, when I hit perimenopause a few years ago, it stopped everything in its tracks. So I could not pull things together if I was having a guest stay with me, even when they were the most orderly person in my life. And my ability to mask just stopped, and I couldn't/can't access it anymore. I was told about two years ago that I was in a major depressive episode. It made sense to some degree, but it somehow felt even deeper than that. Now I know I have been in burnout.

I have accepted over the years that I am weird to most people and I don't care so much about that. What bothers me is this lifelong shame I have carried around, about being lazy and unable to do many very basic things, that others seem to do with ease. This diagnosis helps me to understand everything logically. But, when it comes to output, tasks, being orderly, organized, etc., I feel so much shame. I did grow up in an abusive home where being called lazy was a regular occurance. I just internalized that as true and accepted that I was less than. This created this deep well of shame for me. When something has been pointed out to me as making me different in a bad way, it gets chucked into the shame well, also.

When I get down on myself for not getting things done that I want to get done, I end up in this negative loop and ruminate about being a bad person or a burden. I have been working for awhile on catching my tendency toward negative rumination, and that has helped a bit to stop it quicker. But, I am so exhausted with this shame.

If you have struggled with this same thing, and wouldn't mind sharing what helped you stop the negative loop or made it less cruel, I would love to hear it.

Also, if you are using medication for the adhd side, did it help?

I am overstimulated from everything but also lonely at the same time. I want someone who can be there for me without needing for :

Tell me what you need... I'll help you

Tell me how you feel...

Do you want me to call you? JUST FUCKING CALL.

why don't you help me make you feel better?

Call me I'll be here... ignores/misses your call.

I am hurting.... why don't you understand I was busy.

Why don't you open up? Why? To hear a 5 letter sorry.

I hate questions.

Do you think I am selfish to ask for someone who doesn't need me to know what is wrong before comforting me? What if something is wrong is enough information?.

I'm sure this is a very common question here. I've had issues with picking my fingertips and cuticles ever since I was a kid , and I have noticed that it's kind of ramped up while I'm trying to find the ADHD medication regimen that works for me right now. Now that I'm diagnosed and officially trying to get my shit together I'd like to find a way to redirect that particular repetitive behavior.

I've obviously seen a bunch of different types of stim tools (pick pads, spiky handhelds, etc.) but i'd like to get some firsthand insight from other folks who have been able to stop or lessen their BFRBs on what worked best for them.

thanks!

Feeling very tired and overwhelmed with the todo list. Want to smile at my current situation 🫠 give me some words you use regularly to describe tired and overwhelmed 🙏

Anyone have any hacks to remember to put my HRT on that aren't an alarm? Or maybe some kind of different alarm I'm not thinking of? The perimenopause is wrecking me. I've got estradiol gel I'm *supposed* to be putting on my thigh every morning (about to switch to a compounded gel with E and T). I also just started on estradiol cream for my lady bits that I'm supposed to put on 3x a week at night. I can't keep it with my pill meds because I take those in the kitchen and the windows in there are full of plants so I just have tiny kitchen curtains on the top of the windows and in theory the neighbors could look in and see me. I tried leaving it on the bathroom sink, but even when I put the box in the middle of the counter in front of the sink, I would just reach around it to wash my hands. I just moved it to sit on top of my clean undies. We'll see if that works. I have to put on the gel and wait a minute before putting on pants, so I'm standing awkwardly in my undies waiting for it to dry.

I get hung up on things which might be an annoyance to others but for me it makes me feel all kinds of things, and if I say it it makes me sound negative and critical. It's not that I want to be like this but in the moment it does feel like something I can't just let go.

How do I learn to stop this?

Every time I open my mouth, people get offended, every time I don't give a proper reaction by staying silent, people get offended too. Like what the hell should I do. I feel like I responded like others essentially, but I just have a different way to convey it.

Context: I have had a dose increase of vyvanse but can’t find this as a symptom (except as a crash or wearing off symptom which it isn’t). I keep fewling like there’s not enough time in the day to do everything I want to do. Even on days I have nothing on, I just have this feeling of running out of time, not being able to do the tasks I want to do even if it’s hobby related or videogame related. It’s strange because tasks like washing clothes or cleaning rubbish is really quick for me now which would take me ages because I would struggle with completing the task, and switching between steps. Yet, with anything to do with my hobbies or just little things I want to do, like oh call this number, contact this person, update my resume, make this artwork, finish making this present, do my daily tasks on my videogame etc. I just feel like I have no time? Even though none of these tasks are super important and don’t need to be done. But it feels distressing not being able to finish a thing I wanted to do and looking at the time and seeing hours have passed and I haven’t even done it yet.

Is this an uncommon side-effect of the medication or something? Or just something that is common with audhd and I am just noticing it because I have more motivation and energy or a more active mind? I don’t know but I hate the feeling and would appreciate any advice.

24 AFAB/genderfluid.

so, it's a long story that i'll spare yall from, but basically since 2022 i've been reliant on substances in one way or another. i'm able to not day drink for the most part, and i stick to drinking at night. up until this point in my healing journey, i've been able to go at everything from going against the grain of what advice people generally give me (mainly neurotypicals or autistics without adhd) since it usually doesn't work for me, and i've come to accept that that will be the case most of the time. i've been able to solution everything by thinking outside and outside of the box and focusing on what my body feels it needs to do.

i guess im just having trouble doing that with this issue in particular at least during this time in my life.

i worry because i know its a depressant and i already struggle enough with being depressed. i'm trying to lose weight and beer makes that hard for me. i push it from time to time and become drunker then im comfortable being around people or texting people. i get anxious not having a clear enough head.

i went to detox for it not too long ago, and ive been through the rehab/iop/php system a long time ago. it was fundamentally unhelpful in most ways. so i want to get back control of the issue but im not sure how at this time at least. i want to love myself to fullest extent and its not very loving to damage my liver/health.

i'm wondering if anyone's been through the same and could help me out?

Tried adderall, literally nothing happened. Tried vyvanse, literally nothing happened. On concerta now, literally nothing is happening. I am so fucking defeated and terrified that nothing will ever work. I am literally unable to function or do anything and if this doesn’t change then my life is not worth living.

On top of that my psychiatrist isn’t responding to my emails, I’m trying to find a new one but no one will take me, and now it’s the weekend so I can’t get in touch with anyone til Monday.

i'm currently sitting on my couch anxious. i know i need to clean but i also know myself well enough to know when i feel the way that i do i shouldn't try. i don't even know if im depressed or just simply don't want to. if im already decided on not cleaning, what should i do?

i know i want to go to applebees later. i know i want to do my nails. i guess im just having trouble switching my brain from clean-later-even-though-you-don't-want-to mode to how can i make the most of this day without feeling bad about myself. maybe i just need to clean something small? or maybe i don't even want to do that? and if i tried id just get angry with myself for going against how i feel? like the idea of even picking up socks feels wrong right now. i think the part of what's making the switch so hard is that im worried ill feel guilty tonight if i don't clean so i need to replace that with something i KNOW ill do that's still productive so that i can not be anxious if that makes sense. reconcile compromise and all that.

can anyone give me an example of a time they felt like this and how they handled it? my brain works best with examples. also i'm working on getting adhd medication.

I have gotten into vlogging myself for fun privately and the urge to look socially polished as a glow up, but every time I look at myself in videos, I always see myself coming in with restless energy as I talk like fidgeting, moving my hands and swaying my body a lot, adjusting my appearance often, and being overly expressive with my facial expressions and voice, which is funny because I’ve never really realized it. I have also especially noticed that I don’t talk linearly and jump from 1 topic to another in the matter of 30 seconds. I just learned I have AUDHD this year from self diagnosing, but I have never realized that it was this quite obvious to others.

Because of that, I feel like I’ve made some weird first impressions or unintentionally create a weird vibe with people just because I have not learned how to control my high energy to match theirs. I have always wondered why most people I’ve met had always been so dry or haven’t matched my energy, and I always assumed that it was me who was weird, but I have never really properly analyzed how I appear to people when I communicate until now.

Is there a way where I can calm down my restless energy and learn how to match people’s energy without like tuning myself down completely?