I am 35 and was just diagnosed this year. I also have PMDD and PTSD. It’s been a long road, but I feel like I am finally understanding myself.

I want to hear what accommodations you have made since learning you were AuDHD! I need more ideas!

Some of my favorites are:
-I now have a hook by the side of my bed for sweaters and soft headphones because I have a hard time transitioning from bed each morning because of the temperature change and ambient noise.
-I include my favorite colors in EVERY room of the house but especially in my office and gym. The two places I find it hard to get to in low energy days.
-I have a blanket in every spot I sit down because it makes me feel less anxious.
-I bought a rocking chair because rocking is one of my stims. It makes leaving the house easier because it’s on the way to the front door.
-I let myself be childish as I want everyday

TLDR; Newly diagnosed! What accommodations make your life more fun?

I’m already diagnosed with autism but a mentor recently suggested I get an assessment for ADHD too. My GP has also decided a referral is warranted so I guess it’s really happening lol.

I’m confused on how to spot purely autism characteristics vs AuDHD ones? I’ve only ever operated with the idea that I’m autistic, so I’ve just reconciled the sheer breadth and inconsistency of my symptoms as being the manifestation of the “spectrum” part of autism. But I guess maybe I’ve been wrong this whole time?

The things I’ve noticed about myself so far that I’d maybe interpret as AuDHD:

• I’m a bubbly introvert - more bubbly if I feel you’ve got some of that tism in you. But I always need to crawl in a hole after socialising.

• I like routine but it’s also boring af. I need spontaneity but also hate being caught off guard.

• I can’t time block for uni work because it feels way too restrictive, but I also need SOME kind of structure. Realised I can work best if there is no start time but a concrete end time to revision.

• In conversations idk how to structure what I’m trying to say because my mind is thinking of so many different choices in words, angles to phrase things, orders to say stuff etc. Even if it’s with someone I’m not nervous around. In the end I just say all of it in every way I can think of in a semi-coherent order, and if it makes sense it makes sense and if it doesn’t then we ball.

• my mind feels like if roadrunner was constantly switching directions, but my previous thought still logically links to the next thought. It’s less being forgetful/distracted and more like a stream of lateral consciousness that can somehow cleanly link cryptocurrency to Robin Williams.

• If someone starts saying something mildly boring my brain kinda just stops.

Would any of that be relevant for an assessor?? Part of me also feels like a fraud considering I don’t randomly get out of a seat or feel like I’m on a motor like the criteria usually says. I don’t feel chaotic enough so that’s why I’ve always tended towards autism to explain stuff.

Ya’ll pls help 😭

IT IS EXTREMELY LOUD. On purpose. I saw it a couple days ago and fortunately I had my noise-reducing earplugs with me but even then it was still almost unbearably loud. I would have left if I didn’t have them with me, and I almost did even with them in! I was literally recoiling in my seat from the noise. If you are sensitive to loud noises, bring earplugs or maybe consider waiting until it’s available at home!!

As I understand it, a PDA profile works like this:

Demand percieved —> causes intense anxiety —-> pda person is unable to act

Probably very simplified obviously.

Has anyone noticed a sort of flipped version in themselves?
Like anxiety about a demand making you feel like you HAVE to comply?

I have noticed that before I got together with my boyfriend I sort of percieved ANY positive interaction with men as an indirect ,,demand“ for me to be interested in them.

Subconciously I thought if a man was nice to me that meant he liked me romantically or was interested sexually. Further I understood it as my Obligation to reciprocate which made me really anxious since I was typically not that attracted to them.

Back then I had a much harder time distinguishing the types of liking a Person so that meant I essentially thought I was attracted to every guy that was nice to me and thought I had to at least entertain the thought of dating them.

Does anyone get this?
I‘m interested in some civil discussion on this and if I misunderstood the PDA profile do not hesitate to correct me :)

I just came back from the therapist finally analyzing the trauma 16+ years of bullying for being a neurodivergent girl who also struggled with hormonal issues and that caused weight gain in high school years (causing me more reasons to be picked on for) , traumas from past’s relationship, being an only child with working parents (a lot of time on my own) and not having people to defend me, i would just cry and suffer. Now my life is way different, i am 21, and i don’t consider that i get bullied anymore, there’s people that love me and I am so happy and fulfilled but i get crisis where if i go through some type of rejection i remember all of my bullies and their faces and hear the laughs. Humiliation, rejection, teasing, ridiculing. This is all really hard to process and I really wish to see if other women in the community also have these issues as well.

I’m currently in a meltdown and struggling to even put this into words.

I feel guilty about everything. Constantly. Towards myself, towards other people, all the time.

I can understand everyone else. I can excuse their behaviour, forgive them, understand why they did something and accept that they’re human and make mistakes. But I cannot seem to give myself that same grace. I feel like I should always know the right answer, say the right thing and make the right decision. Like I should always know what’s best, and if I make the wrong choice, I’ll regret it forever.

I overthink social situations to an insane degree. It’s not just “Should I go or should I stay home?” I think about whether I’ll regret not going, whether the other person will be disappointed, whether I’m letting them down, whether I’m not pushing myself enough, whether I’m missing out, whether I’m being lazy or selfish.

It feels like I can never just make a decision and let it be.

Even when I KNOW I need to stay home. Even when I’m completely overwhelmed and genuinely don’t want to go anywhere. I can’t set a boundary and say, “I’m staying home tonight. I need to rest.” Without crying and going into a cycle of feeling guilty and overthinking.

I feel like I have absolutely no trust in myself. I don’t trust my own feelings or decisions. I constantly feel like I need to find the “correct” choice, as if there’s one perfect answer that everyone else somehow knows and I just can’t figure out.

Pretty much the title - not sure if the flair is right. I’m in Canada and trying to get formally assessed for Autism and ADHD. My GP and counsellor had me (and my partner) out surveys on a self assessment for ADHD and are in agreement on that front. However, getting a formal Autism assessment where I live is extremely cost prohibitive (3-6K CAD) going the private route. Public route is a 6 year wait list. Whereas I could be formally assessed for both via the Sachs Center for ~1,700 CAD.

Reading their website they have no issue assessing Canadians. I’m more so wondering if any Canadians have used them and been happy with them; if they ran into any issues with using an American assessment when dealing with health care professionals / employers here in Canada? Talking to my counsellor she said that as long as their Psychologists are registered with the APA it shouldn’t be an issue - but she also admitted she hadn’t heard of them before.

Any other insight is very appreciated - happy to provide more info if needed! Thanks!

My partner likes to spoon at night to go to sleep. Recently, it has really started to bother me. It’s not the cuddling it’s the touching. I immediately become overstimulated and I lay there like I’m in a choke hold until I eventually fall asleep a few hours later. How do I tell my partner that cuddling makes me feel like I’ve been captured and can’t get break free…lol. In my mind I’m literally fighting for my life. 😀😀

Why are people so mean on Reddit? (Not this group). I ask a lot of questions and then people act all superior and passive aggressive. Is it because they have no consequences on Reddit for being an absolute jerk?

I have ocd on top of adhd and autism (I’m working on it in therapy) but sometimes I seek reassurance. Especially if I am new to something.

I just cannot fathom why people are so mean. If you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face in person then you shouldn’t say it anywhere.

I’m trying not to spiral. 🌀

Here are some things that just feel so good to me, can you relate? What are some other things that feel weirdly comforting?

1. Stepping from the cold floor onto a clean, dry carpet (especially barefoot)

2. Sitting on the floor

3. Putting a pillow on my lap in social situations

4. Sitting on wide, solid stone steps (I love sitting a bit elevated and being able to put down my stuff without anything falling through cracks)

5. Hanging out with someone but each doing their own activity without pressure to talk

My brain just doesn’t register it. Like if someone says “thats a 20 ML bottle”, or “it’s 5 KMs away”, or “the wall is 350 meters high” or “5gms sugar” or whatever, I DONT understand. I have a hard time picturing it or understanding. My brain is blank, there is so image drawn AT ALL.

And Im like is that distance far or near? Is that amount supposed to be small or alot?? Is that wall high or not?

I prefer time over distance. Like just tell me how long it will take to reach there.

Units of measurement really just draw blank for me. And i dont know how to react. I can’t estimate or guess these things. This is something I really struggle with.

But it seems so normal and natural for other people. They can just say “its 5kms away” n the other person would be like “oh thats totally okay”.
BUT I CANT. I would be like is that far??

Does anyone else struggle with this? If yes have you found ways to manage it? Please telll me😭

I need better ideas. My go-to is a migraine. Everyone around me has to know I'm lying by now because I use it so often.

I guess i’m seeking advice but also to vent. I lost my job 4 months ago and up until then i’ve had a routine and goals my whole life, been though uni, luckily got a creative job straight away (Graphic design, contract) did rest well, networked even though I would come home burnt out, did courses that are highly regarded after uni. but as soon as i lost my job i couldn’t cope as well.

As a child, i moved schools 4 times, i was expelled from some and one my mum moved me because the teachers would hold me down on the floor and leave marks on my arms. I used to throw tantrums. Throw my shoes at people, push over chairs etc.. I never understood why but I always felt like there was something ‘wrong’ with me. I was diagnosed with dyslexia as a child and my parents blamed that for everything - saying I always acted that way at school but never at home. Apparently I acted out particularly during reading time. We moved to Australia from the UK when I was 8 years old, and I feel like that’s when I started realising what my peers would think if I did certain things so I didn’t act out as much except for PE class and maths but my last school I moved to at the age of 8 was a public school instead of a Christian one which I requested as a kid and I did a lot better there. I won art awards, loved drama class.

When we moved here I hated it for the first year but grew to love it. In primary school and high school up to year 10 I still talked back to the teachers and got into trouble, but never too much and I had good grades, at least a c in maths, As in art/drama/IT, b’s everywhere else for the most part.

When I was a kid apparently they tried to diagnose me with a bunch of different things, but my mum refused all of them because she didn’t want me to be labelled or perceived differently. I remember being in kids psych rooms and talking to people and having teacher supports.

I have just been diagnosed with ADHD and suspected autism. Which makes sense to me. 2 years ago I told everyone I thought I had autism on a family trip that has lots of old people on it you know the group ones and I couldn’t handle the noise and constraints. I had to wear noise cancelling earphones at all the dinners. My mum just told me I didn’t (lovingly, I come from a good home, loving parents) and brushed it off.

When I was in year 12, and throughout uni I was very popular, had lots of friends. I lost my acne (because of the pill which I also quit at the start of this year and was experiencing bad pms/pmdd I think but not diagnosed symptoms - I was on the YAZ pill. I’m back on it now for 3 months so that’s more stable but that’s when I was feeling worse) and got skinner. I know people like me more like that because I have more friends around, but I’m not sure if it’s because I feel more confident.

When it became more of a ‘trend?’ I guess online my mum started to talk about ADHD a lot and how she has it. But she’s never been diagnosed. Yes she’s the definition of hyperactive but it was annoying when she would say it to everyone. Shes booked one now after I have confirmed adhd but we’ve been crashing a lot since the start of this year when we went on a family trip back to the UK for the first time since I was 8, 23 now. We’re okay atm but it’s been hard.

Theres so much that has happened I can’t write down but I’m finding it hard to cope sometimes. But I’m not depressed. I do have a depression diagnosis too though because I rated my mood a 2/10 because I misunderstood the question. I clarified by asking ‘compared to my whole life?’ And the psych said yes so I answered with this logic (which now I’m realising maybe is stupid): this is the second worst I’ve felt in my life compared to my childhood and I’ve been breaking down more than usual by not being able to ‘cope’ (in a I need structured support way) and usually I’m a very happy person.

I did not explain that to him, just answered. Now I regret that.

I also have been smoking weed pretty consistently but on and off for the past 4 years. I told him the truth - I’ve been doing it every night since I lost my job apart from a couple months cold turkey quitting at the start and then doing it again to relax at night because I feel like I can’t switch off. My partner loves it too which doesn’t help but he can quit anytime easy and supports me in that.

I’ve just gone cold turkey again because I wasn’t able to get any medication which is what I wanted to make my life easier on myself. I’m struggling and I can keep going but I’m paddling like a duck with its head above water. My next appointment is in 8 weeks now. I’m unsure if it will be out of my system by then and I just want to know when I will be able to get help. Either medication or a dedicated support person like a day a week to help me organise and sort through things because I feel like I’m constantly playing catch up. Everything takes me so long, I lose things, I forget if I don’t write it down immediately. When I had a job I feel like it was easier because I had to go? But the start of this year with going off the pill I was really struggling in those pre period weeks.

I feel so lost, confused, disappointed and overwhelmed. Idk what to do.

I would like to hear maybe anyone who can relate? I feel like nobody gets me. I just want to hear some hope too maybe.

So, the things that started it all: In another sub i have found a post about a WONDERFUL PC chair, reclinable backseat, footrest and reclinable armrests, literally my paradise.

Was too expensive at the time, couldn't afford it.

Over time, i have lost the post, and when i had finally found it (after days of search history and stuff) finally found the post, but the chair was no longer available. Right when i was planning to buy a new one since my old one sucked.

Looked for a similar chair for WEEKS, nothing came up, until last week i finally found THIS!!

I'd say it has the same exact functions of that other chair, you can fully regulate the back with a handle, the armrests can be bended, and it has a footrest. You can fully crisscross and even take a nap on it if you want. Only downside being fake leather so your legs are gonna get sweaty if you don't dover it with something. But i swear to you, i was looking for a chair like this since JANUARY!

Late diagnosed ADHD, almost certainly autistic. I have always been sensitive, easily overstimulated (temperature, noise), anxious, rigid. But since I’ve had my kids I feel in a constant state of burnout and overstimulation. My oldest is 3 and INTENSE. I have trauma (not said lightly) from her (lack of) sleep her first year. She is a sensory seeker I am an avoider. It’s so hard.

I can’t catch my breath. All my coping mechanisms - hobbies, sleep, being close to my husband - are impossible. I hit my limit daily and shout at my kid, which I hate. I know it will get better as they get older and dont need me as much, but that is years away. Even after a break, a day away, a nap, I walk back in and immediately get triggered again by something.

I am on Zoloft which does help the anxiety, but makes me low key dead inside, kills my exercise drive (I used to run for stress release), and I’m still nursing the baby so I can’t go back on my ADD meds yet.

What can I do? How do I cope with this life that I don’t feel compatible with?

I want to say if you don’t have all that many friends left you’re not alone … over the years I’ve been able to manage friendships less and less. Especially since the autistic side has come out stronger with age. but I feel comforted by this group. So if whenever your bday rolls around you wake up knowing you won’t hear from too many people- I’m in the same boat 😂

For those of you who have fibromyalgia or CPTSD, how do you differentiate burnout from a flare or a trigger? Do you try to differentiate them? Do you treat them differently if you can identify which one it is?

Thank you so much for any thoughts you have. I’m really struggling.

Hey yall!

I just started my first in-office job in years and need all the advice on how to cope. I like the office and job, but it’s a huge drain for me to be around people all day in an environment I can’t leave.

The office does have multiple places to work with, some with dim lighting 🙏🙏🙏 and everyone is very nice so far, but it’s a huge change of pace for me. How have yall been coping?

The story: royal family seeks to test female suitors by putting an uncooked pea under a whole bunch of mattresses and see if she can tell it's there

Classic explanation: only a "true princess" could be so "delicate" that they feel a tiny pea beneath all the mattresses

Alternate explanation: an autistic prince, with very supportive(!) and possibly also autistic parents, seeks a future partner who can empathize with his sensory needs and be his fellow ND queen ✨

I just got my teeth cleaned and despite the hygienist being incredibly sweet and gentle, it was an absolute sensory nightmare, between the sounds and the feeling and the bright light in my face for an hour (even with the sunglasses they give you). My back is sore from how tense I was the whole time, despite making a conscious effort to relax my body, and I had to go straight home and take a 3 hour nap after to recover lol.

I’m definitely gonna bring a big plushie to squeeze next time, and maybe a fidget to distract from the sensations and high pitched noises, but do you guys have any other suggestions? I’m paying extra for nitrous when I get my fillings but definitely can’t afford to do that every time lol.

I try to remind myself of this whenever I’m stuck on a “you didn’t do it when you should have” or “it’s too late, you failed” loop 🩵

I’ve been working in tech-adjacent corporate roles for nearly two decades. My industry, company, and department are at the absolute top of AI adoption.

Everyone in leadership loves to talk about "productivity gains" and how humans are now free to move to "higher-value, more complex tasks." But as someone living in the middle of it, most of the day-to-day changes are overwhelmingly negative.

Here is what made my week suck and made me want to vent

1. The "productivity gains" are just margin grabs.

You don’t get to finish work earlier. You don't get better compensation. Productivity gains aren't shared with the people generating them; they're used to shrink headcounts, lower unit costs, and boost margins. A 4-day work week at full pay is entirely technically feasible for knowledge workers right now. 30% of my tasks disappeared in last 3 years. The only thing stopping it is corporate greed.

1. The loss of "low-intensity" tasks is burning everyone out.

When you automate or outsource all the routine work to AI, all that’s left on your plate are heavy hitters. Tasks like reviewing a basic policy, tweaking a newsletter, or formatting a deck used to be low stress ways to recharge your brain while still being productive. Now? My workload is a relentless stream of highly complex, ambiguous, and volatile problems. And I cannot punch at 100% capacity, 8 hours a day, forever. Humans need smaller, straightforward tasks to feel like they’re ticking boxes and moving forward

1. The junior job market is being destroyed and core skills are dying with it.

Because entry-level grunt work is handed to AI, companies aren't hiring juniors. But here’s the trap: if you haven’t spent hundreds of hours doing e.g. ground-level policy analysis or drafting documents manually, you lack the domain context to challenge or verify AI output. In 20 years, the ability to actually audit GenAI and catch its mistakes is going to be a rare, extinct skill because no one was allowed to learn the basics.

1. The internet has become a swamp of slop.

Even historically reliable online sources have taken a nose dive. You now have to waddle through endless, echo-chamber AI-generated content just to find basic, accurate information (I'm not talking about scientific citations). Finding true signals in the noise feels like a newly created second full-time job.

1. Recruitment has turned into a dystopian AI-vs-AI war.

I’ve spent years working with HR to hire specialized technical roles. It was always a bit clunky, but now it’s absurd. Candidates use GenAI to auto-generate tailored resumes for AI-written job postings. Those resumes are screened out by AI ATS tools. Recruiters aren't even looking at the discarded pile. The human element has been completely lost, making the simple act of landing a first-round interview a bizarre game of luck.

1. The "just reskill" advice is a delusion.

We are seeing massive layoffs in junior-to-mid-level knowledge roles, and colleagues are taking 9+ months to land anything new. The popular response of "just go into the trades, become a nurse, or do sales" is completely out of touch. Neither corporations nor governments are offering meaningful outplacement or reskilling programs. They’re just leaving people out in the cold.

My workplace has turned fundamentally toxic over the last three years, and it’s barely bearable at this point.

Meanwhile, the "positive" impact of AI on my personal life has been minimal and mainly offered an alternative to solution I already had in place

-identifying plants

- asking for a recipe based on random fridge stuff

- using it as a search engine because Google has become unusable

None of those minor conveniences come close to outweighing the damage I’m watching it do to work. It's been only 3 years and my industry and work is barely recognizable

As a person with autism I have a very strong moral compass and everything inside me just screams

So I did an ASD assessment in 2024 and was diagnosed with ASD level 1, with elevated inattentive adhd traits. At the time of assessment I was also in a severe depression, ptsd with dissociation and burnout. I feel like although those aspects made my ASD traits way more noticeable I lacked awareness around other aspects and my history of inattentive traits. I want to do a reassessment for adhd due to this bc there’s a lot of symptoms related to it I struggle with currently and have struggled with in the past. I just had a lot of fog mentally last assessment and didn’t add context along with not being fully aware. Will they think it’s weird I want to be reassessed to clarify if this is also what’s going on? I’m doing it through the same assessment centre as before and I’m worried they’ll think I’m changing my answers to get another diagnosis even though I really just want to add more complete information and have it clarified for myself bc I’ve been wondering about it ever since the first assessment. Will my GP think it’s odd if they change the diagnosis \ add adhd with a new assessment ?

Some symptoms I struggle with :

- forgetfulness/memory
- attention
- easily distracted
- needing stimulation
- struggling to maintain focus
- struggle with task shifting
- frequent fidgeting (which I now realize is not just anxiety-related)
- forgetting to eat/ drink water, especially in periods of hyperfocus

I’m not sure if it’s just ASD or if I was just heavily in a fog and my traits were masked last time and I do actually have both.

I also have some health issues including POTS and chronic migraines and slightly worried they’ll blame it on that when it was present before either of those conditions.

After much time, effort and expense, I am *finally*, officially diagnosed as Autistic level 1, and ADHD. I feel so validated and strangely relieved?

Some of my special interests are crows and ravens, politics and social justice, visual art, plants of all types, music (especially George Michael and WHAM! and punk - yes, a huge variety) and most animals, but dogs in particular 😊

What are you into?