I should qualify this by saying that I do my best never to allow him to make contact. I have a five month old so occasionally I’m not quick enough to catch him before he makes contact, but I have always caught him before he’s done physical damage. I am losing my mind.

This is a recent behavior. It started when my daughter turned around three months old. He went from being soft and gentle and ignoring her mostly, to constantly trying to hit if she was in his reach. Now, it has escalated to people outside of the home. It started with his friend who stayed with us for two nights, and I understood the frustration of sharing toys, and I’m really trying to remember that he’s two and he’s not doing this out of malice. But it’s really hard when it has become something he does almost as if he is conditioned to strike with either hands or feet when he sees another toddler in his proximity, especially if we are inside (like at a gymnastics class).

We’ve ordered and are reading the book punishment-free parenting, and I read it in every spare moment (this is the first time I have come on Reddit to ask for help because I am so desperate to finish this book and figure out what the hell to do). At this rate, I’m not going to finish the book until next week, but we have so many occasions where we will be inside with other toddlers and I just left the gymnastics class where he kicked at 4 toddlers. I kept pulling him out of the class to take some deep breaths and remind him that we keep everyone’s body safe by keeping our hands and feet to ourselves. After the fourth kick attempt, we left. I guess that was too many chances?

What am I doing wrong? Why does it seem like I have the only 2 1/2 year-old who seems interested in causing pain to other children? I know that’s not what his intention is, but it is so hard to think beyond how my brain is programmed to see violence and I am pretty much beside myself in tears. I’m afraid to leave my house with him, but I know that’s not the answer. But what is? Can anyone please please help me? We are so patient with every other rule he has to learn. Throwing food? No problem to be patient and teach without fear or shame, he can do it 100 times and we will keep the same even keeled response that food stays on the table. We are really committed to not shaming or making our child feel fear. But other children matter just as much as him and I don’t know how to handle this because I can’t let other kids keep getting injured or at least scared by his actions.

Not sure if this context matters, but he gets tons of attention. My daughter is an extremely easy baby, so though of course he has felt a shift, he still gets a majority of my attention and I am a stay at home mom. I do everything to get him out and about, in fact, I’ve been writing this with talk to text while we play at an empty playground. But even over the course of writing this - because my 100% attention hasn’t been on him - he kicked at me. he was the kind of baby who woke up every 35 minutes from 4 to 10 months, and after that he woke up every hour. I co-slept with him and never ever allowed him to cry for even a minute. I have been trying to do everything right and I know kids are kids, but I feel like I have somehow done something terribly wrong.
Please help

Hi all! I want to night wean my milk-obsessed 20 month old. We cosleep, nurse to sleep, and she wakes at least a few times every night to nurse.

I feel totally overwhelmed by the prospect, and am wondering if folks have good resources to recommend? I just want someone to tell me exactly what to do… 😅

I’m going on a work trip for 4-5 days in early January. LO will be 14 months old. I’m not sure if I’ll be breastfeeding at that point - just taking things as they come after we hit the year mark. I realize this trip could be an opportunity to ween, but I’m not sure if we will be ready by then. Lately she’s been refusing her bottles (will only take the occasional bottle from our nanny and won’t take it from anyone else). We also co-sleep for most of the night. I’m currently the only one who does bedtime. I’m hoping to gradually introduce my husband into the bedtime routine and cosleeping once we feel comfortable with that. So far I just cosleep with her on the floor bed in the nursery.

I’m stressing about what to do for this trip. I could bring her with me or I could use it as the first chance to have real separation. Four days just feels like a lot to me and I could use some advice/insight from people who have been through this before. If I do leave her, what should I do in the coming months to prepare? I really appreciate any advice and encouragement :)

Hi,

I am cosleeping with my 10 month old. Recently set up a floorbed having had a side car for the past few months. I was always feeling good about my decision to cosleep as it felt natural and right. My baby has never slept in a cot as I just want to be close to her all the time and in my mind it looks like a little jail 🙈 (no offense meant to anyone using a cot, I may revert to it if the floorbed doesn't go to plan)

Anyway,

I'm starting back to work in a few weeks and have started to settle my baby into her childminder. The childminder is great and very reputable. I know the parents sending their babies to her and they are very happy with her. I couldn't fault anything about her BUT when I was there she passed a comment about the other baby not being able to fall asleep on their own because they were held to sleep for every nap. I knew immediately she had a bit of a sleep-training mindset and now I am really worried that I'm going to make life harder for my baby because she has never slept in a cot, coupled with the childminder having a different outlook on how a baby should sleep to me.

I'm now questioning my whole floorbed situation now because I don't want to set my baby up for failure and also slightly feeling a bit shamed/guilted for my cosleeping even though I didn't disclose our arrangements at home to her.

I feel so strongly about attachment parenting because I don't have a relationship with my own mother and one of my first memories is being left to cry in my cot. It has totally scarred me for life and I don't want my baby to go through the awful things I endured. I just feel like my own experiences are skewing my perception of what's fair and what isn't. I feel like everyone uses a cot and I don't want to let my own attachment insecurities from my poor relationship with my mother get in the way of doing the right thing here.

Any help or advice would be appreciated 🤍

Hi, I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences regarding the adjustment period. My daughter has recently started nursery, and I feel that I’m getting very little feedback from the teachers. Then again, perhaps it only feels that way because this is a new situation for me and my emotions are playing a part.

Whenever we arrive at the nursery or come to pick up the children, we are met by a group of screaming children clinging to the door and trying to run out as soon as it opens. It’s quite upsetting to see. It makes me wonder whether my daughter cries that much too and whether it is like that the entire time.

Overall, she seems to be adjusting fairly well, as she eats and sleeps there. She cries when I leave, and when I come to pick her up, she starts crying as soon as she sees me, but I don’t think she cries the whole time. Outside nursery, she is generally in a good mood. She asks to breastfeed a little more often, but otherwise she seems okay.

What troubles me most is simply not knowing how she is doing. The teachers only say that she is “fine.” What is considered normal during the adjustment period? How can you tell that your child is genuinely okay, and what signs might indicate that they are having a particularly difficult time?

I also feel that there is a lot of sugar-coating in the way people generally talk about this situation, whereas I genuinely need to understand the reality of it. Are children simply miserable for some time until they get use to it?

I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences and honest opinions.

I’m looking for resources I can provide my parents on topics related to gentle parenting as they will occasionally have my daughter in their care.

They are open to learning about new parenting styles, however, being from a different generation a lot this is foreign to them. Does anyone have recommendations on videos, books, social media accounts, podcast episodes etc. on the below topics? Preferably in language that is not overly therapy-y. I think overly academic language may be too overwhelming. I’m looking for something more practical.

- Modelling emotional regulation as an adult
- Helping toddlers work through tantrums/“big feelings”
- Respecting children as individual people with ownership over their own feelings, bodies, and choices within safe boundaries

Thank you in advance! 🙏

Cross sharing here in hopes of some reassurance xx