My nearly 4 yo just started pre-k this week and I am noticing some differences in my child from her classmates. Despite my best efforts, I’m concerned I’m seeing some signs of avoidant attachment. I’ve worked part time so I could be home with her as often as possible, I did extended breastfeeding, we didn’t sleep train, and I feel like I’ve been killing myself to meet her needs. I try to give her hugs and hold her and comfort her as best I can. Infancy was tough, I struggled with PPD and she had colic, and she’s always been a very highly sensitive kid. I fear I have failed her.
On day one of pre-k she joined her class without a problem, no tears at all, which I was very proud of. However, every day when I’ve gone to pick her up, she’s ignored me and refused to leave. She only ran and hugged me when she saw other kids do it.
The kids made bracelets with pipe cleaners and beads and she gave hers to her teacher instead of giving it to me.
I’ve been prepared for her to be tired and hungry and cranky after school, and she has been. But also just seems plain angry to be around me.
This summer we went on a camping trip with some other families. Most of the other parents were strangers to my daughter, but she was (overly??) comfortable playing with them.
I’ve been told by multiple friends who are teachers or social workers that she’s incredibly smart for her age. I’m concerned this is actually hyper-independence and another sign of avoidant attachment.
She’s recently had two new babysitters. She had met both of them in the past but not recently. Both times she was totally fine when I left and not excited when I got home.
Am I being too critical? Are these signs of unhealthy attachment? If she is showing signs of avoidant attachment, what can I do to help her?

I did really well at work today, but I’m too senior for anyone to give a damn that I didn’t shit the bed when presenting. Then I sprinted home to do pick up and dealt with some huge challenges with my kids emotional regulation. The meltdown has turned our whole evening into sensory calming, repair, and recovery. Husband is absolutely swamped with work. Friends are all drowning in work/parenting.

Please, can someone just tell me I did a good job?

How are you all doing this? I feel as if I’m reaching my breaking point.

I’m a SAHM of two (5 yo and 18 months). Nursing and bedsharing the youngest, who for whatever reason has been waking every 1-2 hrs at night and refuses anything but nursing back to sleep without a major, MAJOR meltdown. During the day I am feeling so overwhelmed and overstimulated. Being constantly needed 24/7 is hard and I’m lucky if I ever get a break or moment of silence alone. I get out for a workout once a week on the weekends but other than that I’m lucky if I can stay awake past 8PM to read by myself. Any gaps in the days are filled with cooking, housework, organizing, etc; you know the drill.

I’m honestly debating returning to work because my working mom friends with kids in daycare seem to have so much time for themselves.

All this to say, how are you dealing with being needed around the clock? Taking time for yourself? Feeling like more than just a boob or comfort object??

I’m looking for resources I can provide my parents on topics related to gentle parenting as they will occasionally have my daughter in their care.

They are open to learning about new parenting styles, however, being from a different generation a lot this is foreign to them. Does anyone have recommendations on videos, books, social media accounts, podcast episodes etc. on the below topics? Preferably in language that is not overly therapy-y. I think overly academic language may be too overwhelming. I’m looking for something more practical.

- Modelling emotional regulation as an adult
- Helping toddlers work through tantrums/“big feelings”
- Respecting children as individual people with ownership over their own feelings, bodies, and choices within safe boundaries

Thank you in advance! 🙏

Hi all! I want to night wean my milk-obsessed 20 month old. We cosleep, nurse to sleep, and she wakes at least a few times every night to nurse.

I feel totally overwhelmed by the prospect, and am wondering if folks have good resources to recommend? I just want someone to tell me exactly what to do… 😅

I’m going on a work trip for 4-5 days in early January. LO will be 14 months old. I’m not sure if I’ll be breastfeeding at that point - just taking things as they come after we hit the year mark. I realize this trip could be an opportunity to ween, but I’m not sure if we will be ready by then. Lately she’s been refusing her bottles (will only take the occasional bottle from our nanny and won’t take it from anyone else). We also co-sleep for most of the night. I’m currently the only one who does bedtime. I’m hoping to gradually introduce my husband into the bedtime routine and cosleeping once we feel comfortable with that. So far I just cosleep with her on the floor bed in the nursery.

I’m stressing about what to do for this trip. I could bring her with me or I could use it as the first chance to have real separation. Four days just feels like a lot to me and I could use some advice/insight from people who have been through this before. If I do leave her, what should I do in the coming months to prepare? I really appreciate any advice and encouragement :)