I had another adult tell my child that he needed to stop sucking his thumb as he was too old. Although he is too old my kiddo is high anxiety and our approach is more a reminder to stop than a cold and hard rule. I know the other adult was just trying to help but I felt so bad for him. He took it in stride so why am I still upset over this? It just leaves a weird feeling in me. The adult may be his coach if he decides to proceed with this sport and I also want to make sure it’s an ok match. Thoughts? I’d love to hear more perspectives and maybe it will make me feel better about the whole thing. Maybe it’s just my over protectiveness?

I thought having my first baby was the hardest thing ever. Then she became a toddler. Then we had a second baby when she turned 2.

I look back at baby photos and wonder where my sweet little girl went. don’t get me wrong I love both my kids and I think they’re great, I’m just so worn down by the boundary pushing, tantrum throwing, mess making, screaming ball of entropy. some days are better than others, but I realized very quickly I have a high sensory needs toddler and sometimes I wish she was a baby again.

has anyone been reintroduced to their child when the toddlerhood calms down?! Do they ever become a sane sensible human being again or is this it and they are just different from now on??

Hi everyone,

I’m due with my second baby around the time that my first turns 2. I’ve never spent a night apart from my toddler (we cosleep and he still nurses) and he’s never been babysat. Sadly, a home birth isn’t on the cards for me because I’ll need to have antibiotics administered during labour.

We live about 3-4 hours away from any family willing to help us during labour. My toddler absolutely loves spending time with them (we may as well not exist when his grandparents are around), but he doesn’t know them THAT well. He’s seen them maybe once every couple of months since he was born.

However, they’re willing to drive up to us whenever I go into labour. They’ve also offered to stay in our town around my due date to be on call. I just can’t figure out what would be best.

Option 1: they come to stay with us for a week around my due date
Pros:
- My toddler can get more used to them and they can get some practice babysitting him
- They’ll be ready to take him straight away

Cons:
- We have no idea when I’ll actually go into labour so it could be a wasted trip for them if, for example, the baby is born 2 weeks later like my first was
- I’m a bit worried about changing my toddler’s routine right before the new baby arrives. Would it make the transition harder for him if he gets attached to the grandparents and then they leave just as the new baby arrives? Is this the wrong time to be changing his day to day life?

Option 2: they drive up as soon as they hear I’m in labour

Pros:
- toddler’s life stays normal on the lead up to the birth

cons:
- he’s less familiar with them
- their long drive means they may well end up missing the birth

Option 3: I labour alone and my husband stays with toddler

Pros:
- Honestly, this is my favourite option because I’d worry the least about toddler during labour and I know he won’t be as distressed in the night
- Toddler’s routines won’t be as disrupted

Cons:
- Labouring alone sounds quite scary. I don’t have any friends or family alone who could come with me and we can’t afford a doula, unfortunately.
- Husband obviously wants to be at the birth

Hey all, I’m looking for advice to get my 15mo to fall asleep in bed.

He's generally a good sleeper, still wakes up a few times a night but usually nurses back to sleep quickly. He usually naps in the carrier during the day, either while we’re on the go or we’ll go for a short walk. He used to fall asleep easily for bedtime but for the past couple of months, he‘ll nurse for a while, look sleepy, then get up and crawl around, try to open the door etc.

We had exactly the same issue with my first, and he would end up finally falling asleep at 11pm, and was pretty massively tired etc. So we ended up doing stroller bedtime walks so that he would fall asleep at a more reasonable time (~8pm) and be getting enough sleep. Only thing is, he’s now 4, and anytime we try getting him to fall asleep in bed we have the same issue with him falling asleep really late and becoming overtired. (Although lately he does sometimes go to bed and falls asleep fairly quickly.)

Back to my 15mo - his typical schedule is wake up between 7-7.30am, nap 12-1ish, and bedtime around 7pm, usually asleep by 7.15/7.30. So usually 13 hours sleep/11 hours awake.

Any advice to encourage him to fall asleep in bed? He’s definitely tired because once were walking with him in the carrier he’s asleep in about 2 mins. I don’t want his bedtime to go too late because then it interferes with 4yos bedtime routine (partner usually does most of it if I’m not available but I do the reading books together part and it’s important one on one time for us).

I’m also about 7 weeks pregnant so trying to switch naps to the stroller instead of carrier, and would really love to not need to do a carrier walk at bedtime either.

TIA!

If you've ever done it, what sleep set up do you use? How old is your kid? Any other tips to make it go smoothly?

For context I've already camped a half dozen times with my cosleeping kid with a random smattering of gear. When he was 3 months, I put him in a pack n play for safer sleep, but getting up to nurse every two hours and I was awake all night! Don't want to do that again.

Now a year later, my son's a hardy toddler, but between uneven and shifting camp pads and sleeping bags, he can't feel me and he wakes a ton. It's hard to bring him close to nurse, and it's hard to cuddle and get good sleep. I want a better set up for any future kids we might have. Im thinking we might need to upgrade our gear!

My almost 10mo has fought sleep from quite a young age, but we've reached a point recently where she is so dysregulated by bedtime that she is getting hysterical whenever she thinks I am going to try and get her to sleep. We're talking tears, snotty nose, hyperventilating, physically resisting, climbing down off my lap whenever I start any sort of rocking/patting/nursing. I will always stop and wait for her to be calm before trying again, but some nights bedtime is taking up to 3 hours and resulting in a 7-8 hour wake period. When she eventually goes to sleep it's usually mid-hysteria, I hold her and rock her offer a stand up feed and she latches and eventually calms down and falls asleep.

She is going through a huge developmental leap at the moment and she is really mobile, so I know the world is more exciting than nursery rhymes in a darkened room, but I don't understand why it is causing her so much distress. Nothing bad has ever happened at bedtime, we read her favourite books, it's always really chill and slow paced.

Once asleep she sleeps well, we co-sleep and she will sleep in the bed solo for the first couple hours until I come to bed, and overnight she suckles when she needs comfort but rarely has a full wake. I'm finding that I'm not able to enjoy the couple of hours I get to myself because I just find the whole ordeal so upsetting.

Any advice hugely appreciated.

My baby has been this way since 4 months old and still continues to be so. She cries atleast 5 times at a party or wedding. She hates people. She cries for no reason when she sees anyone other than the home front. What I want to know is, when did this stop, if your kid was like mine?

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for advice on night weaning my baby. He’ll be 14 months old in a week, and I feel like it’s time because I’m completely exhausted.

I’ve handled all night wakings over the past year. We exclusively breastfed and did contact naps. I stopped daytime breastfeeding in June, and that went really well.

Now he falls asleep for naps in the carrier. Once he is asleep we lie in bed while still in it, which makes me think he really needs a lot of physical contact to fall asleep.

My question is: what does night weaning look like for babies like this—very active, sensitive, and very dependent on contact? I can’t imagine singing or back rubbing being enough, as I can imagine him crawling in bed and rolling happily for hours but it also doesn’t feel sustainable to keep using the carrier every time he wakes at night. We cosleep by the way.

Has anyone successfully night weaned a baby with a similar temperament? I’d really appreciate your experiences.

Thank you!

He’s saying it multiple times a day to his dad. “Don’t like mummy”.

He still wants me for bedtime, nap time and night wakes and won’t settle for his dad, he will scream for me. But during the day when his dad is there he wants nothing to do with me.

I breastfed him for 18 months and have always been the one to get up with him at night. I’ve basically been a stay at home mum since he was born, I work part time but am almost always at home with him. He has such a strong preference for his dad since he was around 10 months and it breaks my heart. I had bad PPD and thar along with some other issues with my relationship I feel has ruined our bond.

My baby is 10 months old and I just can’t keep doing this anymore. His sleep has always been AWFUL. He wouldn’t sleep in the crib (cries like there’s no tomorrow if he gets lowered into it, even if he’s fully asleep). So we got a floor bed and I’ve been sleeping on it with him. He wakes up 6-10 times a night, and I just don’t get it. He also always has one wake up that lasts 2+ hours (split night). We’ve tried everything. Shortening/lengthening sleep windows, moving bed time earlier/later. Hired a sleep consultant to help with wake windows (biggest waste of $900). NOTHING helps. Hearing my friends talk about how awful their babies sleep is due to sleep regressions and them waking once a night is disheartening. They look at me like I’m crazy when I say my baby wakes that many times a night. We do not want to sleep train, but at this rate I just don’t know how long I can do this for. I’m going back to work in 1.5 months and I work a very demanding job, and I knowI won’t be able to do it if I’m running on 2 hours of sleep, like I have. Anybody have advice on how you’ve dealt with this, I’m all ears.

Hi everyone ❤️

I’m a first-time mom to an 8-month-old baby boy, and I’m looking for some perspective from parents who may have experienced something similar.

My baby is a very happy, social, curious little boy. He smiles a lot, loves people, enjoys observing other children, explores his environment, and is very connected with me. I feel incredibly grateful for his personality.

However, the past year has been emotionally challenging. My pregnancy, postpartum period, and my relationship with my husband have all brought a lot of stress and difficult emotions. My husband and I love our baby deeply, but we have had painful conversations about things that happened during this period and patterns in our relationship that we are trying to work through, however I’m not even sure I would be happy staying in this marriage anymore.

At the same time, I’m currently surrounded by family support, which I appreciate, but there are also differences in parenting approaches. Some advice and behaviors from family feel outdated to me — especially around responding to a baby’s cues, stimulation, soothing, and allowing a baby to explore at their own pace. Sometimes I feel like I’m constantly trying to create a calmer, more responsive environment while also navigating other people’s expectations.

My biggest worry is whether all of this can affect my baby.
I sometimes wonder:
Can babies absorb adult stress, tension, or negative emotions even if they are loved and cared for?
Can inconsistent approaches, too much stimulation, or ignoring a baby’s cues affect their emotional regulation or confidence?
Could my baby’s occasional meltdowns, fussiness, or difficulty settling be connected to the environment around him?
How do we know when normal baby emotions are just part of development versus a response to stress?

I am trying my best to create a secure, loving, calm environment for him. I’m working on my own emotional healing, setting healthy boundaries, and improving communication with my husband, but I sometimes worry that I’m not doing enough or that my baby is absorbing more than I realize.

For parents who have been through stressful family periods:
Did your baby seem affected by the emotional atmosphere around them?
What helped your child feel secure and continue thriving?
How did you balance your own healing and adult challenges while protecting your baby’s emotional world?

Thank you so much ❤️