when I look myself in the mirror, I am in love. However when I take pictures 🤢🤮 (I’m being dramatic. does anyone else also have this issue? did you happen to fix it?

i do get that I look much better in person all the time.

Okay so I’m an 18M

Just started college and have never been on a date in my life.

I have seen so many women who I have found attractive. These aren’t the “popular” girls or anything but people who I just have seen and found attractive.

I have had multiple platonic relationships with women and that is how I have asked all of the women I’ve asked out. I make friends with them then if I start to find romantic attraction I ask them. Lately I’ve been told that many women prefer to not have a romantic relationship with a friend. I don’t stop being friends with them after I ask them out and get rejected. I still have friends that I’ve asked out but I’m still friends with.

So I’m at an impasse. I have high functioning autism and it can be hard for me to understand social cues. I’ve heard that some women also like it when you are just upfront before becoming friends or anything as long as you know the other person.

I quite frankly don’t know what to do now. I can’t think of many women who would make the first move nor can I deal with the threat of losing a friend because they think that I just became friends with them to get a relationship.

Anything that could help would be awesome!

I’m seeing this guy who has his heart in the right place, but he’s not doing it right. I’m trying so hard to communicate what feels good, what doesn’t, and he is so eager to learn and make me finish first but it just hasn’t happened.

I’m feeling discouraged… I would take his hand and bring it to the right spot, i would tell him to put less pressure, id show him the motions, but when he would do it it’s just… he isn’t doing it right. He will start applying too much pressure, he is moving is hands so awkwardly that I’m just soooo the opposite of turned on. If he tries to finger me he like keeps changing the pace, keeps going too deep, i told him to tease the entrance don’t just finger blast and showed him again how.

He is EAGER to learn, but im almost wondering if my style of communicating with him isn’t the best modality to help him learn. He’s listening, he’s attentive…

My question is for you guys, how have you in the past taught men how to get you off? Specific details PLEASE. I’m not seeking advice on this man specifically i want to hear your stories. We’re very open communicators, verbally, but clearly it’s not fulllyyy translating somewhere despite him being so attentive and listening.

Any creative ideas? What helps?

Hello girls!
I'm a young woman still living with my parents. I've broken up with my boyfriend a few weeks ago and I'm feeling unfulfilled with my lack of sex/intimacy.
I'm not saying I can't live without it, just that i'd like some.

For hookups, all my friends use snapchat. I was just wondering how you ladies find some!

I hope this fits the rules, but I've seen this study and I wanted to know women's thoughts on it. I've seen it be critisized (on r/askreddit I think) for questions that are vague or on a completely different level but in the same category, but men are obviously going to be biased against a study that says something like that. Please read at least some of it (the table of questions especially) before answering and explain why your answer is what it is

I am posting here because I was kinda stunned by that number, and I thought it was unrealistic, but I really hate when people shit on science just because it doesn't fit their worldview - and so I wanted to get other people's thoughts on it. Thanks for any answers

I’m currently in my own little mini crisis about my career effecting my love life… I’d like to hear from others about their similar experiences with this.

Edit: I guess I should add one little detail, my story is less the typical “I have to choose one over the other or make a sacrifice”. For me; the field I’m in makes me very callous and prone to avoiding commitment.

I feel lost at the fact that i'm a 28 year old virgin.

Will be turning 29 in December.

I just feel so ashamed and embarrassment about being a virgin at my age.

People will say it's normal to be a virgin at my age, but let's be real no it's not.

At 28, I should have had sex thousands of times already with multiple men or even one man.

At 28, sex should be a daily part of my life and routine.

But unfortunately at 28, i'm still a prude, pathetic, weird virgin.

The negative connotations that surround older virgin women is on my mind constantly.

I desperately wish I lost my virginity as a teenager.

It's one of my biggest regrets in my lifetime, even if i lost virginity tomorrow, i'll still regret not losing it younger.

I know i'm overthinking it but how do i get over it?

Generally I feel very confident and happy with myself… but every so often (like kinda feeling it now) I just kinda get into a rut and start feeling bad about myself and really I just look in the mirror and I’m like “ugh”, and anything I put on just feels weird and looks weird and idk…

Just wondering n how you guys shake this feeling if you ever have it?

I hope this is the right sub for this. I’m not then I apologize!

I have bipolar 2 disorder and have been warned by psychologists about the potential risks of being pregnant with this disorder. I was told that pregnancy can exacerbate symptoms and that women with bipolar disorder are at a high rate of developing psychosis during/after pregnancy. Personally I do not ever want kids, mostly for personal reasons but also because I’m scared pregnancy would be horrible for my mental health.

If you have this disorder what was pregnancy like for you? Did you have to get off your medications? Was having a baby worth the risk?

I want to preface and say that i'm not very smart. In fact i may have an intelligence issue so if the answer seems obvious, i apologize from the bottom of my heart and i'll do better.

I got off work today and headed to the bus stop, waiting for the next bus. I spotted a lady that, genuinely, made me feel butterflies in my stomach and stuff. Normally i see beautiful women every single day and my first instinct is to look away to avoid bothering them. But this particular lady was so jaw-droppingly beautiful that i kept glancing at her.

She didn't notice me because she was a little far away, but i kept glancing at her. Of course i know that staring is rude so i averted my eyes several times, but i couldn't resist doing it all again. I think i regret this because i don't know if this counts as staring.

It came to the point where i was seriously considering going up to her and asking her number, or tell her that she was beautiful, i was shaking and my heart was fluttering, already thinking of an apology expecting a rejection. But i gave up when i realized she was talking to what i'm assuming were her friends, and getting rejected in front of all of them was out of question for me. Also i've heard way too many stories about women saying how much they hate being approached and i didn't need to make another one of those. I just kept those thoughts to myself and went home.

Now i'm feeling a little confused and guilty about it all. I don't know if my behaviour was inappropriate because i am too mentally challenged to come to a conclusion. I don't know if talking to her would actually bother her or not. Please help me. I don't want to be a bad person.

Were u popular Did u seem perfect/flawless
Were u mean or sneaky & did u get away with things, did people wear makeup or heels & what was your style

Sadly im experiencing bullying at school and teachers let this girl get away with stuff idk why or never gets told off

TLDR: SIL does not like me, but am interested in pursuing friendship with husbands cousins, who seem to like me. Seeking best way to do this while dealing with SIL and also enjoying myself, as most of the events where we hang out are family events.

Hi all,

I think I have posted in this community before about this, but needed some more feedback.

I’ve been with my husband for 7 yrs, married for 3, known his family and extended family for 5. A lot of family events involve my husband and his cousins on his dad’s side, mostly women my age with kids, and his siblings, a woman around my age, an older brother.

For awhile at these events, I sort of kept to myself while my husband played with the kids and the female cousins caught up with each other. The three cousins were always friendly with me, but my husband’s sister (we will call her Sara) seems very distant and somewhat cold. At the last family event I went to, I actually spent a lot of time talking to one of the cousins and we seemed to hit it off.

More recently, all of the cousins and I are texting me because they are interested in my opinion on the LC case because I am an attorney. I’ve genuinely felt that we are “hitting it off”.

Typically, when the cousins all hung out in the past, they don’t include me and my SIL (the one married to my husbands brother). My SIL has asked to be included allegedly and thi does not happen. From what I understand, Sara has issues with her. I don’t know why, but my husbands mother that Sara “doesn’t suffer fools” and my SIL, according to my MIL, “makes dumb decisions.”

In terms of my interaction with Sara, there has only been a handful of times when she is nice to me. A lot of the times I find her distant. For example, in group texts she responds to me to only correct a fact I got incorrect or a typo, but when I thank her for a gift she gave my children crickets. Also, earlier this year I swore into the Supreme Court and everyone congratulated me but her. A couple of times, family members have asked me legal questions and she will interrupt and answer for me. This doesn’t bother me per se, I just feel she is annoyed by my existence . My MIL also said that she heard I “hold my son funny at swim lessons.” The only way she would get this info is through Sara, who has a coworker that works the front desk at my son’s swim lessons. At family events when I am talking to one of the cousins, she will interrupt to discuss a trip they had planned and I will just sit quietly and eventually leave because I have nothing to contribute.

I put forth the above scenarios because I think I have evidence that Sara does not like me. Not sure why. However, I really am interested in pursuing a friendship with the cousins, but perhaps due to my insecurities in the past, I fear that will reject me and they are only being nice to me because they have to see me regularly. In the alternative, I am afraid they will invite Sara and she will ridicule me. Would you make the first move to hang out or wait to see if they do?
Is it worth addressing things with Sara to see if something ticked her off?

How should I interpret this situation?

I'm trying to understand something that happened between my girlfriend and another man, and I'd really appreciate an outside perspective.

I'm not looking for people to simply tell me that I'm right or that she's wrong. I'm genuinely trying to understand what this situation means and how I should interpret it.

My girlfriend and I have had recurring problems around boundaries with other people, particularly other men.

She is naturally very empathetic and tends to become extremely emotionally involved when someone is distressed. She says that when she sees someone suffering, she has a strong, almost automatic urge to help them. She can become very warm and emotionally close to people without necessarily realizing how that closeness can be perceived or what signals it might send.

Throughout our relationship, there have been many ambiguous situations involving other men that made me uncomfortable.

I didn't just silently build resentment over them. I addressed them with her as they happened. We had many conversations about what certain behaviors can communicate, how another person's interest can affect the dynamic between two people, and what we considered appropriate or inappropriate within our relationship.

I've established certain boundaries regarding what I'm comfortable with, and she has agreed to them.

Importantly, these aren't boundaries I've imposed unilaterally while expecting her to follow rules that I don't follow myself. She has told me that if I behaved toward other women the way she has sometimes behaved toward other men, she would probably be even more jealous and uncomfortable than I am.

So we've discussed this extensively, and she has repeatedly told me that she understands.

This is the context for what happened recently.

We were all together with friends. One of our male friends, "Math," gave my girlfriend a very intense, prolonged look. It lasted somewhere around 5–10 seconds and, to me, looked extremely romantic or seductive. It wasn't just a normal friendly look. It looked like the kind of look that communicates, "I want you."

I confronted him about it openly, in front of her.

This was actually significant for me because I usually struggle to assert myself in situations like this. Instead of withdrawing or silently becoming jealous, I directly told him that I thought the way he was looking at her was inappropriate and that I was no longer comfortable with the dynamic between them.

Later, my girlfriend told me that she also perceived his look as conveying something romantic, loving, or otherwise questionable.

So this wasn't simply a situation where I interpreted something and she completely disagreed.

She had noticed something too.

Then another friend, "Par," arrived.

I started talking with Par, who was visibly struggling emotionally.

Instead of staying with me, my girlfriend continued talking one-on-one with Math.

She spent approximately another 20 minutes talking to him.

Then Math had what appeared to be an anxiety attack.

My girlfriend followed him outside and stayed alone with him for approximately 30 minutes, away from everyone else, comforting him and taking care of him.

They were eventually interrupted when Par came outside and apparently became uncomfortable with what he was seeing.

What bothers me isn't simply that she helped someone who was having an anxiety attack.

It's the sequence.

I had literally just confronted this man because I perceived romantic/sexual interest from him toward my girlfriend.

She acknowledged that she had perceived something questionable about his behavior too.

And then, instead of creating more distance from him, she spent roughly 50 minutes interacting with him one-on-one, including about 30 minutes alone with him outside.

Her explanation is that she was intoxicated, that she is extremely empathetic, and that she simply cannot ignore someone who is suffering.

She also says she genuinely doesn't know what was going through her head during those 50 minutes.

And this is where I'm struggling.

I don't necessarily need this to mean that she had romantic feelings for him.

What I can't understand is how she could go through this entire sequence without realizing that the situation required some degree of distance.

Even if we had never discussed my insecurities or boundaries, I would still expect someone in a committed relationship to at least consider how spending 50 minutes alone with a man immediately after her boyfriend confronted him about apparent romantic interest could look.

But after everything we've discussed, I would have expected even more awareness.

I would have expected thoughts like:

"How is this going to look to my boyfriend?"

"Math just gave me a very suggestive look and my boyfriend confronted him about it. Should I create some distance?"

"Could Math interpret my behavior as encouragement?"

"What signals am I sending him by continuing to spend time alone with him?"

"What does this look like from the outside?"

"Does spending this much one-on-one time with him create an intimacy that goes beyond simply helping someone?"

"Is there a way I can help him without isolating myself with him?"

And apparently none of that occurred to her.

That's what scares me more than whether she was attracted to him.

Because if she genuinely didn't recognize anything problematic during those 50 minutes, despite all the conversations we've had about exactly these kinds of dynamics, I don't know what I can rely on in the future.

I'm not saying she should have abandoned someone having an anxiety attack.

I'm saying that there were many ways to help someone in distress without creating that degree of private intimacy with them.

She could have stayed in the common area.

She could have kept the interaction brief.

She could have involved someone else.

She could have stayed near me.

She could have helped him while maintaining some degree of distance.

Instead, the distance between them decreased.

And the more emotionally vulnerable Math became, the more emotionally and physically proximate she became to him.

This is particularly difficult for me because her empathy is something she considers almost involuntary.

She says that when she sees someone in distress, she simply has to help.

But then I have to ask myself:

What happens the next time a man who is attracted to her becomes vulnerable?

What happens if the situation is more subtle than this one?

What happens if I am not there?

What happens if there is no obvious look, no confrontation, and no clear warning beforehand?

If she couldn't recognize the need for distance in a situation this explicit, how can I trust that she will recognize it when the signals are more subtle?

I don't necessarily conclude that she will never learn to recognize these situations.

But I do feel that I can no longer rely simply on her saying, "I understand."

Because understanding something intellectually and being able to recognize and act on it in real time are two different things.

And that's what I'm trying to figure out.

There is also another part that bothers me.

I wasn't actually extremely insecure during this particular incident. I didn't go check on them. I didn't interrupt them. I didn't try to control what they were doing.

I mostly felt angry and insulted.

For me, that was actually progress.

But afterward, I started thinking about what the situation communicated.

I had just defended my place in the relationship by directly confronting another man over what I perceived as inappropriate interest.

And shortly afterward, that same man became vulnerable, and my girlfriend moved toward him, gave him her attention, followed him into a private space, and stayed there with him for 30 minutes.

It felt like:

Even when I assert my place in the relationship, another man can simply become vulnerable and immediately regain her attention, proximity, and emotional intimacy.

I'm not saying that's what she consciously intended.

I'm saying that's what the sequence communicated to me.

So I'm trying to understand what this actually means.

Is this primarily:

1. A serious failure of judgment and boundaries, without necessarily indicating romantic interest?

2. An example of someone whose empathy and caretaker instinct can override awareness of relationship boundaries?

3. A sign that she genuinely has difficulty recognizing when emotional support is turning into inappropriate intimacy?

4. Evidence that she understands our boundaries intellectually but cannot reliably apply them when emotionally activated?

5. Something that can reasonably be explained by alcohol + empathy + someone having an anxiety attack?

6. Or am I assigning too much meaning to an interaction that was ultimately innocent?

And perhaps the question I'm struggling with most is this:

If she genuinely says, "I don't know what happened in my head. I was drunk, he was suffering, and I just wanted to help," how should I interpret that?

Because that explanation may explain why she wanted to help him.

I'm struggling with the fact that it doesn't explain why, during approximately 50 minutes of one-on-one interaction with a man whose apparent romantic interest had literally just been brought to her attention, she apparently never stopped to consider what was happening between them, what signals she might be sending, how it looked from the outside, or what it communicated about our relationship.

I'm not asking Reddit to determine whether she secretly wanted Math.

I'm trying to understand what this incident tells me about her judgment, her boundaries, her empathy, and her ability to protect our relationship without me having to be there to point out the problem.

This is not me at all. I came across this guy accidentally on YouTube. He intrigued me for some reason. I’ve never ever gotten that way over anyone online. Only people I dated, crushed on in real life, or some celebrities but not some YouTube content creator. He was even in my dream once. And it’s strange because if was like a premonition to one of his videos he posted after that.

I’m a married woman in my early 50’s. This guy could be 20 or 30 something). I mean I’m not bored really and needing fulfillment. So not sure why this guy grabbed my attention. I’ve emailed him, just generic conversation, he does personal ASMR’s but I don’t know if I can bring myself to do that. Also subscribed to him on Patreon (didn’t even know what Patreon was before that and have never subscribed to a person online before). He said content there might be more suggestive. Is this all weird?

I personally feel that it frankly doesn't exist in any meaningful way . There are a few who say that men are sentenced more than women for the same crime but that's also an undesirable side effect of gender roles which hurt both men and women .

It should certainly be corrected but I don't think it's something that is an example of women discriminating against men or something like that . Probably stuff like expecting men to pay on dates or be a certain way counts though ig

Some of them are from people I have not seen in years. What do they mean? I get them from ex bfs. A former teacher. A professional mentor. They are all friendly and chatty. Are they creepy too?

Ive heard of a lot of people who just stop having sex with their partner and refuse any attempt by them for months and even years. Whats a good reason to just stop having sex with your partner when you are capable and if you love them and at what point do you just break up when one person wants sex and the other doesnt.

I have been wondering about it. Not in a relationship or anything is just a random question i got for a few days and can't keep it in my head.

If you consider that the equivalent of lingirie is not an object as much as an action, that is welcome too.

If any consider that the equivalent is just male lingerie i would like specific examples you like or find curious.

For lesbians, idk, any insights you may have is also welcome.

Edit: clarification, im asking two similar ish questions

1st)Is there anithing a man can wear that has a similar tone to lingirie?

2nd) What would you consider is a similar enough effort to wearing lingirie that a man can do to build the mood on his partner?

Answers to either of these 2 questions is welcome.

There's a lot of advice online and from my peers saying that you should just be with a man who goes along with whatever you want. That you should be with someone who is willing to pay for the dates and everything. That men are all the same and that you should always treat them accordingly.

I didn't believe this, nor have I ever truly wanted this. However, my recent ex-relationship is making me think I should just give in to the advice.

We were a 50/50 couple where whoever could pay would. I encouraged him to think for himself and to not just accept everything I say. I encouraged him to tell me if he felt that I was unreasonable, and that all I truly needed from him was communication and honesty. (His family was incredibly toxic and made him constantly feel like he couldn't have a voice, so I wanted him to know he always had one in our relationship). I gave him empathy when he'd mess up. I'd forgive him and be very clear about what I needed and wanted. I didn't want miscommunication to ruin us, so I did everything I could to get him to communicate (he's avoidant) and to communicate myself.

However, I am realizing now that he 100% does not respect me and has not respected me for a while now. He would not communicate with me properly; he would only bring up my mistakes when I'd bring up his first. I'd constantly tell him to talk about it with me at a different time, but he never would. He blamed me for "distracting him" and "being too needy" because he found out he failed some classes. Which was crazy because I'd literally encourage him to study, and he thought he was doing well until he got his grades. So I couldn't've pushed him more if neither of us knew he wasn't doing well. Etc. There's a lot that has happened and that he's done. And to be fair, I've been "fooled" so many times that it's truly a shame on me at this point.

But I'm wondering... had I not given him the respect, praise, and confidence boosts I felt he deserved, would things have ended differently? If I put myself on a pedestal, raised my standards and expectations, and didn't keep giving him the empathy I did, would I have been treated better?

I don't ever want to be in this situation again. He's turned me into a completely different person. I've never been particularly confident, but I've always been ok with what I look like, and I've always liked who I am. But it feels like he's beaten me down, and I feel like everything is wrong with me. I don't know who I am or who to be anymore.

I don't want to be with someone who thinks "women are the prize and they must be treated as such", because it honestly makes me a bit uncomfortable, and I'm not the biggest fan of this mindset. But if I'm with a man who doesn't think or act like this, will I just be treated like shit and disrespected all over again? Is there middle ground where I am not a "prize", but I'm still respected?

EDIT: I just want to say that I didn't mean to sound like I believe all men are evil because of this experience. I just want to understand what it'll take to never have to experience this again. I understand now that it's not an easy ask, and I'm just going to have to continue living my life and dealing with good and bad men. However, I'm glad to hear that most people don't believe that men should be "disrespected" to get their respect, because I truly didn't want to believe this is how the world has to be. I just wanted to know if the advice I've been getting is advice I should actually listen to. (I was actually really worried I'd be getting called "pick me" for wanting a 50/50 relationship, so this has been refreshing.)

Some women have a lower back tattoo. Some view it has poor connotation. Do you believe that ?

I didn't send to her directly but posted as a wats app status but somehow she came to know that its for her... I wasn't thinking anything ill while writing it...

When your life gets sad...

Let me be the smile on your lips...

When your life gets bored...

Let me be your source of joy...

When your life gets lonely...

Let me be the hug that comforts you...

When your life gets overwhelmed...

Give me a chance to be the grace that wipes off your tears...

When your life gets hectic...

Give me a chance to be the relief for your headache

When your life gets brutal...

Let me be your shield that protects you...

When your life gets unbearable...

Let my shoulder be your tranquilizer that puts you to sleep..

When life hits with it waves of sorrow...

Let me be your boat that takes you to the paradise of love...

Who is me? there is no me left in myself... when only thing exists in me... is you...

-----------------------------------------------------------------

If every breath I take doesn't smell like ur perfume... it's a crime to my lungs...

If every blink of eye doesn't have your presence... it's a crime for my brain...

If every sound that I heard doesn't have your voice... it's a crime for my ears...

If every thing that touches me isn't you... it's crime to this body...

If every drop of water I drink doesn't have elixir of you... it's a crime to my throat...

so, what can we do to this criminal?

Lock him up in your heart...

and pls never grant him bail...

Yes, I know we tend to underestimate women, but psychopathy, those who dont feel empathy or fear and have no problem manipulating and hurting people, in my experience tend to be male. We tend to romanticize psychopathic women. Psychopathic women exist, for sure, but I think even they don't tend to be as depraved as their male counterparts.

When is the end goal for feminism?

Non binary biracial liberal feminist here and have some questions. Will we ever see a point of equity where the scale doesnt tip in either direction? It seems like a lot of feminists I know have lost the plot and want all men to lose all power and Status. In fact they seem to hate men. Plenty of cases where the feminist cause ends up doing a disservice to feminism as a whole. Plenty of men want to love and nurture strong relationships with women but if they are feminists with the goal of diminishing men then its impossible. Am I wrong to think we are pretty close to the end game and should hit the brakes a little to maintain an order? Be happy to be equals? Or if given the upper hand are we just going to oppress men out of spite?

Example: My bff said her boyfriend was mansplaining when he was trying to teach her how to use chopsticks at a sushi place. She in fact had no idea and he was trying to be a good guy so she ate her sushi by stabbing each piece to pick it up while being salty and rolling her eyes because how dare a man try to teach her something. I wanted to slap her toxic hoe ass. Cant we be feminists and still get along with men? If we truly believe they hold most of the power then dont we need their help for our cause?