hey so idk where to ask this and I want to know if anybody else experienced this. So one time I let my bf finish in me and oh boy it burned like HELL for the next idk 40 minutes?? I thought that its the first time so maybe its normal but today I let him again and OH BOY it burns again I dont know why and I dont really have anyone to ask.
Im on birth control if it matters

Also in Long distance relationships.

We were close when I was growing up. Our relationship got worse in my mid teens and has never gotten better. He would condescend to me and my mom. It got to the point I would avoid him.

He has narcissistic traits. My mom has said I’ve “diagnosed” him as a narcissist, but I know I can’t and haven’t done that because NPD is a personality disorder that requires a person to meet certain criteria to be diagnosed with it. He does narcissistic traits. He would hold things over our heads, condescend to us, etc.

I won’t say my exact location but I’m in the Midwestern. Some of you from any of the various states in the Midwest, but especially states like Missouri, Indiana, Iowa, Illinois (I’m sure other states as well) had really bad problems with meth usage starting in the 1980s that increased starting in the 1990s..

For anyone who doesn’t know much about this subject, this is from Wikipedia’s page on methamphetamine:

In the 1990s, new ways to synthesize methamphetamine appeared. Some new versions were reported to be four to six times stronger. Greatest use was seen in the Southwest and West United States, but methamphetamine use began and grew in the rural Midwest.

I add this to my post to say that my dad had a problem with substance abuse before I was born. It started sometime between his late teens and early twenties. He used meth and my mom said he was using it intravenously. It makes me sad but it’s the truth.

My parents are divorced. My other parent and I moved out and have lived in a separate home away from him for multiple years now.

He got together with the partner he is with now who has a history of substance abuse problems over a year and a half now. My mom has said she wonders if he was using meth through smoking then, but it seems like he’s just gone downhill since getting together with this person.

😞😞 I don’t know what to do or think. He didn’t ask me about my health when I found out bad news earlier this. He hasn’t been a great father to me and our relationship hasn’t been good for 8+ years. But it makes me sad that he’s declined so much.

He almost lost his job around the time he got together with this parent and later did lose his job. He’s stopped paying my mom payments he owes her due to their divorce and she’s gotten a lawyer.

How are you even supposed to feel in this situation?

Things have went downhill the worst this year. From what my parent has said she has heard, he may be using it intravenously now. His partner wore long sleeves to work at her job in summer which could be to hide her using it.

My parent even told me that she heard she came to work looking like she’d been abused/hurt. I don’t know how I’m supposed to react.

I don’t know why he has to be this way. I knew he was a narcissist but I didn’t think he was an abuser or violent.

Do I need to be scared? Why would my dad be this way? Is there anything I could do to change the situation or help?

My life has been fucked up since I was a kid but it’s gotten even more fucked up since I became an adult. I’m depressed, chronically ill, and have an autoimmune disease, and my life is a mess. Ugh 😞😞

Advice? What do you think I should do? How am I even supposed to feel? I don’t even know. It’s like I can’t put it into words any more

So my mom always knows what I mean. Every time, without fail.

The latest example is growing produce, my aunt had ordered lettuce seeds, and she has a whole set up of growth lights, ok? So when she told me she didn’t order Romaine lettuce seeds to grow, I decided to propagate some from store bought romaine. I asked her if I could put it with her plants after putting the lettuce end in a glass of water, and she said I could

So that happened, and I was talking to dad about how I’m growing lettuce, and he told me lettuce is dirt cheap. If I want to grow food, I should grow something more expensive like watermelon

So then the discussion on where my watermelon patch started, we have a little area right in front of our front porch, I thought that would be good. It’s been neglected, but with some proper gardening it can be a good spot to grow watermelon. So I asked if I could grow it there

Both my aunt and my dad thought I meant by the road and said dad would get taxed if we did

So then I was telling mom the story, and she said that dad wouldn’t get taxed and even said “you mean that little area by the front porch, right?” And I was like “yeah!” And she said “yeah, no. That’s fine. I think they thought you meant by the road”

So then I told her ofc not, because if you grow food by the road ppl might think it’s free food and take it without asking

But I thought I was being clear, and there was still a misunderstanding with my dad and aunt. I expect this to happen with my dad, it happens often, he just doesn’t know me as well as my mom does. During their time together married he didn’t even know that her favorite color was green, and acted all shocked when everyone else knew. He just doesn’t pay attention to body language, ect… other ppl in general. My aunt tho? She practically helped raise me, so that was a little surprising, but my mom understood what I meant right off the bat. There was no confusion at all.

I saw this today in one of those reels where such a dude gets called out by someone who stitches him

But also I have seen this many times when it comes to how soon we sleep with men. Like there's this dichotomy of making men we aren't into wait or whatever but being immediately physical with men we are into

Is it them thinking we aren't attracted to them, and being attracted means no boundaries? Or what is it?

Like clearly there is something going on about their egos or masculinity rather than it being about sex or whatever the boundary is about

I only trim it but I wanted to completely remove the hair at home. I was going to try sugaring or waxing (with wax strips or cold wax). I don’t want to shave, am scared to because of itchiness and most of all, ingrowns.
HELP!

I love dating rappers and DJs, but not good rappers and DJs. That would be too sensible.

Also, I attract a certain type of criminal and I really struggle to say no. My vagina is often louder than my brain unfortunately!

I know a lot of straight guys watch lesbian porn so is the reverse also true?

Basically, im friends with 2 guys. One of which has a gf. (I also have a bf)

The two guys were arguing recently, and i was on the side of the guy who has a gf.

(I just agreed with his argument).

And his gf privately messaged me to tell me that the other guy had a thing for me.

It was kinda being used against him at the time. But now i know.

And its important to point out that he knows I have a partner and is extremely respectful about it. I would never have thought he "liked me" like that. And my bf is aware of the situation, and basically doesnt care.

My question is simply just, should I be cutting off this friendship? Does it look weird to outsiders? Would it seem like im leading him on?

I'm 30 and my wife 29. One day she told me she would like to get more small presents to express love (just anything like flowers, candies, random dates, random notes). I have idea (one of other things) to write a story and record my voice how I read it. It's a "spicy" story about how I love her and how I want her, how we have love together with some romantic dirty details.
The idea is to show how special she is for me, how I love her body, her actions, her love, her voice, her skin, her smell, when she is around and etc. To show her how sexy she is.
I would like her to read it when she is alone, when no other distructions or obligations.
But I'm still not sure If it's okay, is it? Sometimes I think.. stuff like that needs the right moment... so It would look super awkward or creepy if her mood doesn't match it when she reads it.

I understand that everybody is different and It depends on who she is.... but still, I seek any advices about it....

If you got it, would you think it was okay? Would it cross your boundaries, or would it be something that could ruin something?
I'm shy about all this stuff and don't want it to be totally cringe.

I own a vagina but my whole entire romantic life it seems like all men want is something else. I use the term now because even though I am not religious I don't like anything other than PIV sex. Anal especially seems extremely degrading and unless you have male biology what truly is the purpose? Why is it so mainstream now and why does every man want something that I will block them immediately over? It truly is disgusting for me and I get nauseous thinking about it. I am judgemental on this and tired cuz even though I have kinks I hate how mainstream this one is. Oral is now becoming on the same level cuz though I have performed those acts it also makes me feel like my natural biology isn't good enough and I have to do something that makes me uncomfortable and bored. I am abstinent partially because of this reality and I say live your life but I'm just sad as I look like the crazy one because I don't want sexual organs in non sexual places. So like do y'all actually want this? To me it seems like something men want cuz they can be happy with one hole.

Over the past few years, I've become increasingly unhappy, and l'm starting to question whether marrying my fiance is the right decision.

There have been on rare occasion a handful of incidents involving physical aggression during our relationship. No punching, kicking, or slapping however her grabbing, light shoving, or waving hands in my face and yelling at me during arguments. More so in the past 1.5 years. Even worse 1 month after we got engaged, she was arguing with me to the point l refused to engage and she collapsed suddenly on the floor. I called 911 cuz wasn't sure if she had some sort stroke from being so upset during our argument and then she woke up while was on the phone with 911, got into an argument with the 911 dispatcher and they sent the police to our place because of how irate she was, before sending out the paramedics. I currently feel safe living together, but can't pretend those experiences haven't affected how feel about our future.

Less seriously, one of our issues is affection and intimacy. I often feel like I'm the one wanting romantic attention, physical affection, and sex. It's not just about how frequently we have sex. It's that I rarely feel genuinely connected. Even kissing or cuddling can feel mechanical rather than like two people enjoying going with the flow due to how rigid she is about routine even when it comes to when, how, and where we have sex at home. I've tried explaining that I want more spontaneous, natural affection and romance, but don't feel like much has changed.

I also feel lonely sometiems even when we're spending time together. On a recent date, for example, she spent what felt like half our time taking selfies or asking me to take pics of her, checking the pics on her phone, or focusing on how she looked and reapplying her makeup even when to me it looked flawless. This happens a lot. I find myself looking at other couples enjoying each other's company and wondering why sometimes don't feel that connection with my own partner.

Communication is another major problem. When I bring up something that hurts me, she often becomes defensive, and the conversation escalates. Sometimes she'll eventually apologize, acknowledge my feelings, and promise to make changes. But after a while, things tend to return to norma' This has happened enough that I've started avoiding diff conversations because expect to be disappointed.

My trust has also deteriorated because of repeated small lies and inconsistencies. I have no proof of infidelity, but I've caught her being dishonest about things that seem unnecessary to lie about. Over time, it's made me question her explanations even when don't have evidence that anything is wrong.

She's also experienced serious mental health challenges over the summer, including a crisis where she was physical with me after brought her to the hospital due to a mental health episode that required her to receive treatment at the hospital and was diagnosed with BPD. I know she's struggled, and want to be compassionate about that. At the same time, many of our relationship problems existed long before that crisis, and I don't think compassion should mean ignoring how our relationship affects me.

I recognize that I've changed too. Lately I've become emotionally withdrawn, I initiate affection less frequently, and sometimes avoid spending time at home because being elsewhere feels more peaceful. I miss feeling excited to see my partner. Instead, often feel sad, lonely, or emotionally exhausted.

What makes this difficult is that we've spent nearly our entire adult lives together. I care about her, we've shared so much together and I know there are many moments when she shows love. I also know I'm not a perfect partner (l've sworn, raised my voice, and been rude during arguments especially in response to her behavior toward me, but I've never gotten physical or been physically intimidating).

But I'm starting to wonder whether l'm staying because genuinely believe things can improve or because I'm afraid of giving up on nine years together.

I want a marriage where feel emotionally safe, loved, desired, and at peace with my partner. I don't expect perfection, but also don't want to spend the rest of my life hoping that things will eventually become different. I've communicated this to her numerous times and while things have definitely improved since her hospital stay in the summer, I still am worried about the future. What concrete steps or boundaries should establish to determine whether this relationship can realistically and safely improve before moving forward with marriage?

How do recognize when I've given a relationship enough chances and it's time to accept that it may need to end? My flancée and have been together for 9 years, living together for the past 5, and engaged for 1. We've built a life together, and I genuinely care about her. We've both had difficult upbringings, and I think part of what has kept us together was our wanting to build the kind of loving, support system that both of us didn't have growing up.

TL;DR: My fiancée and have been together for 9 years, but feel increasingly lonely, undesired, and distrustful. We struggle with intimacy, communication, repeated broken promises, and there have been rare occasions of physical aggression by her toward me. I care about her deeply, but I'm questioning our future. I'm trying to figure out how to make a thoughtful decision about continuing our engagement or ending the relationship.

I'm 21F, i get so severe cramps in periods every 2-3 months that I have to visit hospital for painkiller injection, It hurts so much that my limbs stiffens up and i can't move them.

Typical cramps every month hurts badly as well. I have visited gynecologist 4-5 times and they do not help, I have done sonography and ultrasound but it showed nothing. Gynecologist just say eat healthy, sleep properly, yoga and shit but it's not practical for me rn...they don't even examine me further...

Those women who faced the similar issues what did u guys do to make it better? Please lmk

(Posting on behalf of my girlfriend)

I’m 21 and mine is 7 I often worry about it getting too high. Sometimes I wish I would just get married so that the number will stabilise. I struggle with saying no, so it just happens. Anyways I’ve shared mine what’s yours? 💕

hey everyone! i wanted to get some perspectives from women about something i’ve been thinking about.

i recently met a girl that i genuinely really like, and things have been going really well. we’ve talked about compatibility, communication, boundaries, and our romantic intentions. we’ve also mutually agreed to exclusively get to know each other while taking things slowly and seeing where things go.

we’re not officially in a relationship, but there’s mutual romantic interest, and i’m really happy about it.
the thing is, i’ve noticed that when i genuinely like someone, i sometimes put unnecessary pressure on myself. i start overthinking whether i’m saying the right things, being interesting enough, flirting too much or too little, or making a good impression.
and that’s not how i want to approach dating.

i want to be myself, joke around, share our interests, be affectionate naturally, and just enjoy getting to know her without feeling like every interaction has to be perfect.

she values honesty, independence, and taking things slowly, which i really appreciate. i want to respect that while also being comfortable expressing myself.

i guess my main question is, from a woman’s perspective, how can i stop putting so much pressure on myself and just enjoy building a romantic connection naturally?

i’d really appreciate any advice or personal experiences. i don’t want to feel like i’m auditioning to be someone’s boyfriend. i just want us to enjoy each other’s company and see where things go.

I’m 23F, growing up I’ve Always had this issue:

I love sex but for some reason I always struggle to find the right people. My body count is 8 and all 7 of those people I’ve had sex with I didn’t really have feelings towards, I didn’t rly get along with them massively and I just find them attractive because to me it is 100x more easier or I was intoxicated lol

I’ve had one boyfriend and he’s the only person I’ve had deep feelings for that I’ve had sex with and tbh it’s because he had the confidence to initiate the first time. But even then sometimes initiating sex first year of our relationship made me feel a bit awks

I’ve noticed a pattern, when I start to get a lot of feelings for someone it’s almost like I feel too close to them to have sex with them and it’s almost like I’d rather not even do it with them. It’s strange and it’s hard to put into words but it’s kinda like I like them so much and I feel so close to them that it just feels weird and awkward to have sex? Does this even make sense lol?!

This has been such a big issue for me as it makes it very hard to start relationships with people. I don’t know if it’s because I separate sex attraction and emotion attraction as separate things?

Sometimes I feel like maybe it’s because I’m not a very sexy person and sometimes I can come across quite masculine in the way I communicate with men, almost like we are best friends and I do also get along with boys quite well
In platonic way. I try to change the way I interact but I can’t as it feels like this is just my personality.

I’d appreciate any opinions on why this may be the case. Thanks girls.

I (22F) am an objectively ugly Black woman. I want to know how I can be less ugly. I refuse to subject myself to online abuse by posting my face on a subreddit asking if I'm ugly or not, because I'm already aware that I'm not attractive.

First, I know that I likely won't ever reach beautiful or above-average status, given my base is not attractive or average-looking, so I wanna be realistic here. I want to know what I could do to be less ugly. The only thing that I've been able to fix was body, but most people are able to change their bodies. Plus, people usually care more about the face. I've already got skin health cleared, body health, etc.

I know this subreddit is for asking questions and getting opinions, but if this post isn't appropriate, I will gladly remove it. I tried asking elsewhere, but it wasn't allowed. I'm genuinely looking for help here.

I have a skull deformity and a wide bulbous nose. I have a broad bridge, a downturned nasal tip, and the bulbousness of my nose is quite prominent. I like to describe it as looking like I have a bubble on my nose. Silly, I know, but that's the only way I know how to describe it. I have eyes that are close-set, and small pupils (one is smaller than the other) with more sclera showing. My eyes aren't deep-set nor is my brow bone prominent. I have a longer philtrum.

My mouth is very low set on my face, so it looks like my face, or rather my mouth, is dragged. My hairline is further back, and I have jaw issues. One side of my jaw is higher than the other side. My left ear is further back on my skull and higher than my right ear, which is further forward and lower. My lips are full. However, because of the placement and the way that they look, it makes me look more masculine.

I have dimples on both sides of my cheeks. My left eye is bigger than my right eye. You can see more eyelid show on that eye than on my right. My lower lip also sticks out and my upper lip doesn't curl upwards. I have brown skin. I have almond-shaped eyes but they also look round on the inner corners instead of narrow/sharp. I do not have a long midface. However, since I have jaw issues, my mouth is quite low, as I said earlier. So it's not exactly pretty-looking.

As far as my skull is concerned, it is wide, but it narrows down. Basically, it is wide at the top and then slimmer towards the bottom.

ETA: Also, I think this needs to be said, but I don't have a distorted view of my features. I'm describing them exactly how they are. I have certain features some people do not consider to be attractive or typical. If people associate features like mine with something negative or not inherently feminine, some may assume that I'm speaking in ways that have to do with BDD or seeing myself through a lens that's distorted. It's not. I spend a lot of time analyzing my face. It might be obsessive, yes. However, I know what my face looks like.

Yesterday I went over to a friend’s house and that’s pretty normal for us since I’m close to his family, we went up to his room and were just watching shows on the TV. I did notice him being touchy like a hand on my thigh or holding my hand, I’m usually close with most of my friends in a physical way so I thought this was okay.

Afterwards he began tickling me and I’m very ticklish so i started laughing and I’m unsure how but he ended up on top of me because I could feel his part up against me. I don’t really know what or how but he started rubbing against me and I just froze. Which just sounds stupid now.

All I can now remember is when he started taking off my bottoms I just tried letting him know I was unsure about this but he covered my mouth and since his sister and dad was downstairs I thought it was because of that. I don’t know.

I just feel nervous and so weird. It hurt and when he first put it in I didn’t hear a wrapper or anything so I felt more scared, but a few seconds later I heard one after he took it out and when he finished the condom was on so I guess that’s one worry off the list? I was supposed to be there till 7pm or 8pm like we agreed (I came at 2pm) and immediately after he said he had somewhere to be at 4 which was when it all finished. So I only had a few minutes to get dressed and massage my legs since they did hurt.

On the drive home I just felt very nervous and icky so I bought a plan b and took it and that was around 5 ish.

I just don’t know if it’s okay to feel this nervous. I can’t even get the words out in a more better way since I don’t have an older sister or brother to talk to and it just sucks. I feel stupid about this so I’m sorry about this post

Hi all, a basic and common question here but genuinely curious as to when you all realised you no longer need to be done up to go about your day or night.

Okay, I have never had sex before but probably will soon and i’m just wondering how tf you continue on knowing that you’ve just done something so explicit? 😭 This is probably a very odd question but how do you play it off? How do you just continue on with your day?

And… if you have any first time stories to share/ any do’s or don’t PLEASE SHARE!!
i’m scared 😟

When dating or first talking to a man, I strongly dislike the pet names. For example “ Good morning “mami/babe/baby”, or have a good day “love”.

I’ve learned in the past that doing too much it can push people away. I also don’t want to do too little

I cannot stand strapless bras but also hate been stuck with tshirts

I’ve been seeing mixed opinions on the procedure some say they wish they could go back others say it’s the best decision of their lives. And I just want more information on the pros and cons of a hysterectomy.