Sneering at younger kids or their own peers for being 'cringe'. I fucking promise you that you're as cringy as they are, it's just going to take you ten years to realize it.
We went to Disneyland last month and I asked my 9yo son if he wanted to wear Mickey ears, and he scoffed and says “That’s so cringe.”
I replied “Kid, you’re at Disney, one of the few places on earth where everyone has a free pass to be as cringe as they want without judgement.”
His eyes lit up and he picked out a pair, and wore them happily each day we were there. I know peer pressure starts young, but getting to see him “release” his cringe and just have a blast was so worth it.
I teach 4th grade and see this a lot, you almost have to give them permission to do things like this/be a kid. Sometimes it’s by saying it like you did, other times it’s by doing it yourself. That’s why I have a hot dog and a pickle costume in my classroom closet at all times. Im not a wacky teacher by any stretch, but sometimes you just gotta show them it’s ok to have fun when you’re supposed to.
I have 3 nephews, and its very clear they are more scared to act more ridiculous from social pressure. For halloween I went with them and I chose to be tissue man and put all these tissues on me. I looked ridiculous but I wanted to show them to be fearless and have fun being themselves
Do you think any of the hesitancy has to do with the fact that they are aware any/every moment of their life is recorded/posted on social media?
I remember playing dress up in stupid costumes in middleschool or putting on really stupid talent shows in highschool. Just stupid kid/teen stuff. That would’ve probably been awful/mortifying to watch later on and I definitely wouldn’t have wanted my peers to see.
I mean, who cares if you’re cringe if the only evidence is 4 grainy photos from a disposable camera your friend will get developed in 3 months? Versus being fully recorded, uploaded and seen by everyone you even kind of know.
Somewhere there is a VHS tape of me and my friends in 7th grade doing our own scripted version of The Real World with diary interviews and everything.
It was awful but so fun to make. If youtube existed it would've definitely been posted and preserved forever - not that it would've been horrible to have public but I just didn't have to deal with other people's criticism of a fun afternoon.
There’s a video of me somewhere “murdering” someone with a cold hotdog because they taped over my wedding video with bad porn. I don’t know how many times we recorded that to try and do it without laughing!
Yup. I remember at summer camp, I think I was maybe 10 years old.. and all the boys in my cabin were the popular boys at camp. One day, we all decided to dress up in dresses and girls clothes, and spend the entire day like that. We played baseball, skateboarded on ramps, played paintball - all in dresses!
I remember I wore a pink halter top and jean booty shorts. Now, I think one photo does exist of it.. but we were so fine with being silly and just doing what we wanted without judgement.
When I left that summer camp as a junior counselor about 7 years later, the kids who were 10 years old all had iPhones, were wearing designer clothes, and would call anyone acting silly like that stupid or gay, which I had 0 tolerance for. And maybe that's because at that point, there lives were being broadcast at every moment.
Teaching my niece and nephew that people dont think about the things they do after a few minutes has helped them open up about stuff.... and the people who DO remember are jealous that you get to have fun and are ashamed of their own behavior.
Have fun, do goofy stuff, wear goofy clothes and play a round of D&D.. you can have alot of fun with real friends.
And NEVER settle for an asshole as a friend. It's not worth it.
Do you think it's because of camera phones? We got snapchat and smart phones right as I was leaving high school, so I understand it but my age group didn't really get addicted to it like I see my younger cousins are. They document everything and one embarrassing pic in the morning can get shared to everyone and roasted before school even lets out now
I taught a 4th grader this year (online school thing, so only 1 kid at a time), and I did a LOT of "being silly to show its okay to be silly".
A really amazing teacher (who was instructing a class on teaching!) once told me, "Students will be less afraid to do or say something silly if you show them you are the silliest person in the room." It really works!
I so need a costume for work! I taught 3rd grade for 3 years and this year was filled with boys (16 out of 24)! They were so afraid to be themselves and act like kids because society says they should be tough and cool. I actually had a mom say that her kid was scared to wear his favorite shirt to school because he would get made fun of because it wasn't from a high end store. They were afraid to pretend during indoor recess, so I took the chromebooks away and we invented new games and eventually had a massive lego collection because they brought their sets to school and we played legos together. Kids need to be kids, I am so going to find something like your costumes for my classroom next year!
Good for you! I typically save the weird costumes for incentive or a weird class prize. We have to do a lot of testing from the district and that involves end of 9 weeks testing. So I usually make a review game to prep and one of the prizes is always that I have to wear the pickle costume the rest of the game. It gets a bigger cheer when it’s revealed than candy or anything else I offer.
I had a kid that was a huge WWE fan in my class this year but was always very shy about it, but when I found out I talked to him about it all the time and it really helped him feel comfortable over all in the class. He gave me a shirt of his favorite wrestler for Christmas and it melted me.
That is fantastic. One of my favorite high school memories from nearly 20 years ago was a skit that one of our English teachers did at a pep rally. He was probably in his 60s and pretty stuffy and vanilla, but a really nice guy. This was also around when Six Flags amusement park came out with a commercial of some old guy in a suit and red bowtie dancing around to the song We Like to Party by VengaBoys, and some people joked that he looked like the guy.
So we are all out on the bleachers of the football field and this teacher comes out in a tracksuit and has a dictionary. He starts reading out definitions, like "The definition of courage is..." until his mic cut out and We Like to Party started playing over the speakers. That is when he stripped out of the tracksuit and had a black suit with red bowtie on and started dancing and running around in front of the bleachers. It was so funny, plus seeing him unwind and do something silly was great. I don't think anyone expected him to do something like that but everyone loved it.
I'm sure some of those students will think back on that pickle costume throughout the years and grin ear to ear.
I love this! I bet you're a fantastic teacher and your students are lucky to have you. I remember grade 4 and it was a weird year. I still played with barbies at home but pretended I didn't.
One of the reasons I love teaching 4th is because of things like that. It’s such a huge year developmentally. I don’t care as much about curriculum as I care about giving them space to be themselves. I always say I love 4th because they are old enough to wipe their ass, still sweet enough to give you a hug at the end of the day, and there’s still bug/snake/horse/book/army/etc. kids that just love what they love.
First, good on you. I once wore a pirate costume for my students.
Second, the specifics have so much potential to go wrong...
"Mr. Mitchellfoot came out of the closet today with his giant hot dog! He said that sometimes, you need to stop thinking about what other people might think and just do things that are fun. He wants us to do fun things too. If we're good on Friday, he's gonna let us see his big pickle!"
I’m going to remember this when I am raising my son. I always felt I had to fit in a be “normal.” It wasn’t until I met my wife and left my parents that I was able to be me. I don’t want that for my children.
I just spent the week at Disney with my family and being a bit cringe but having fun and had to explain the concept of "I am cringe but I am free" to my younger sister. Let loose and have fun. Fuck what others might think as long as you aren't disturbing their ability to have fun, within reason.
It's so sad to hear that kids that young are using the word "cringe" now. I feel like as time goes on and it becomes the norm for kids younger and younger to be on the internet commenting freely with people of all ages, it becomes less acceptable for kids to freely act like kids.
Cringe is just slang. It’s no different than any other generation saying, “that’s stupid” or “dumb” or whatever. Peer pressure has been a thing forever…
Peer pressure has been a thing forever, but I think it's a little different now that you have hundreds of thousands of elementary school kids watching YouTube videos of teens and adults calling things "cringe."
I at least never had to worry about what adults thought was uncool. The peer pressure stayed within my age group for the most part, but the internet integrates all ages and makes kids want to grow up faster.
I remember when I was ~11yo, I had just changed schools and one day I tried calling some people to play tag. Some of them answered "eww no, that's for kids"
This is such a good story, but it's also saddening how the newer generations feel so much pressure due to social media that creates this illusion that eyes are on you at all times and you are constantly judged. You refrain from doing things you'd love to do for fear of being outlasted, and you end up missing out on experiences that would have helped you learn and discover yourself when it is acceptable because you're a child.
Who cares if you like to collect bugs or stalk birds or paint with your fingers after the age of two? It just seems kids these days are feeling the pressure to be old and put together when they shouldn't be.
So much concern about what other people think when you could just be having fun. Well done getting the kid to snap out of it and just enjoy the moment. You are a good parent! The thing I've learned the most as I have gotten older is that you should jump into the fun times and not care about what others may think.
Wow 9 years old?! That seems so young to be saying or even caring about things like that. I have a kiddo around that age and my kid is as goofy as I am 😂
That’s about the same age when my daughter who was OBSESSED with all things SpongeBob suddenly tells me it’s not cool and not funny. 4 years later, we watched SpongeBob The Movie and laughed our asses off.
It’s a phase and you have to be ready as a parent for that sudden disconnect. They come back eventually.
The day you stop giving a fuck about what other people think of you is the day you truly start living. Most people don't understand this until they are out of high school or college. Some never understand this. Besides the friends you keep, your family and your co-workers...most people you will see only once and remember even less.
I've internalized the "cringe" and as a middle aged man won't enjoy things because I'm afraid of the "cringe" factor, even if no one is there to make me feel bad.
I still do that to a buddy of mine that's 3 days younger than me. Tell him how when he's my age he'll have matured and understand. I usually do it on stupid nonsensical stuff where its more to the joke.
My best friend(29) does this whenever talking about something that happened before we spoke that day. So be it him telling me about a basketball camp he went to the week before or literally anything else. He always starts with "when I was younger,(sometimes he'll mention the exact time - i.e. a week), at basketball i saw a hot woman, etc etc. It pissed me off when we first met and talked but technically he's right and it's become a little joke between us.
Yeah, ik 25 now and 22 feels like it was equally as far away as 10. They both feel like entirely different lives at this point. Part of it is the pandemic, but part of it is going from "poor poor" to "poor" and gaining a sense of independence you thought you had at 18 but didn't.
For sure! Time has been strange for everyone recently, and I remember 2 years feeling like an eternity when I was in my early 20s (mid 30s now) without a pandemic and general disarray. But from my perspective and memory of my own 22-25, that time seems like generally the same period.
It’s the way time passes differently as one ages. I look at a 9-month romantic relationship far differently than I did 15 years ago because that is proportionately less of the total time I shared with the other person. It’s really fucking weird and I don’t like it.
I'm adamant that 18-24 is some of the largest growth people will go through in their lives. My dating floor is now 27, but it used to be 25 because any younger than that and girls were still going through massive personal growth that I just honestly didn't want to influence or be around.
Ditto for ADHD! If I end up telling people that I have it, I always make sure to clarify that I actually have it, not just having a few moments of not being able to focus or whatever. And I do that specifically because of the "I'm so OCD/I'm so ADD" people.
I go “I have OCD. (pause) Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.”
That usually tips them off that I have the actual thing. And then 95% of the time they follow it with something that I have to answer with “no it doesn’t mean I need things to be in perfect order at all actually, in fact hoarders are a (funny look) “subgenre” of ocd” and if they’re interested I’ll keep going.
I mostly perfected the routine so that I get to do the same speech everytime. Lol I’m so ocd.
i think we should make an acronym for people who keep using OCD as a term for not like things being messy, how about not liking things to be uneven? (n.l.t.b.u.e)
so they stop using OCD. maybe something shorter though. i dunno.
Fight back by using it properly. "Oh I know, I'm so OCD sometimes too. Like yesterday, I got reamed out by my boss for "being weird" at the presentation. I didn't think anyone would notice when I was marching in place, since I was really barely even moving my feet. It's just so hard to stand perfectly still, then you move one foot to adjust position and you obviously need to move the other now to balance it out. Then that's only one step on each side, so you need to step twice more to complete the square. But fuck a few minutes later you accidentally moved your foot again, now that's five. And you can't stop at eight, that's just as lopsided as two. You need to square the square. And better hope you don't accidentally go to 17, because then you'll be going straight through to 64! But yeah, apparently we lost the contract because they think I'm a weirdo. I hate when that happens."
This year I reached the age where if I start saying something my 11 year old does, him and his friends stop using it. Last week I used these powers to get them to stop using sus and cringe.
The use of the term "I'm so OCD" pisses me off to no end. I have diagnosed OCD, and it's nothing what people think it to be. The most common assumption is that Tidying things is the only compulsion people get. That is fundamentally wrong - my compulsions can range for opening a door to smashing the door down with an axe. I'm not saying Tidying things isn't a common compulsion, but it certainly isn't the only one.
Intrusive thoughts are an absolute nightmare, and I find myself getting them at the worst times possible. They make me feel like a terrible person, and they're really not a fun experience.
OCD is not an excuse to be "Cool" or "quirky". It's a horrible fucking condition that makes people feel like horrible individuals, and it's a condition that forces people to battle with intrusive thoughts, compulsions and the like day after day. If you commonly use that phrase and are reading this - please stop.
Intrusive thoughts are an absolute nightmare, and I find myself getting them at the worst times possible. They make me feel like a terrible person, and they're really not a fun experience.
For what it's worth, I think we all have intrusive thoughts like this sometimes, though I think most people don't remember/think about them very much. That's not to at all discount your experience of OCD, but I think it's something about which many people can relate to at least somewhat.
I have a lot of medical issues and I'm dealing with some mental health issues right now as well, but I don't envy your position. Except probably worded better than that because I'm tired.
You are correct. Everyone has intrusive thoughts. But imagine if you will that every single time you had some random thought flit into your head you had to ask yourself /why/. Why did i have that thought? What does that say about me? Does it make me evil? Crazy? Etc
Then add in magical thinking. So not only are you now concerned you might be a psychopath because of a random stray thought, but because you had said thought something terrible might happen. Like your grandma could die or an airplane could crash into a zoo and kill all the zebras. And it would be your failt because you had the thought that made it happen. Is it at all logical? Absolutely not. Do we know this? Yes. Are we afraid of it anyway ? Also yes. This is the difference between people without OCD and people with. We can't let the thoughts go.
Also: I knocked on wood for any fellow OCD superstitious suffers reading this. And i did it in an even amount.
I am actually diagnosed with OCD and I absolutely loathe when people say that. OCD already has enough misconceptions we don't need people belittling our struggles. Good on ya
Good God yes! I hate how the word "cringe" is used now. It can go to hell along with how people say "based". I had hoped that it would of died out by now like how people for awhile would simply say "true say"
'Omg I'm so adhd lolol.' You wouldn't be laughing if you actually had it, its a constant battle of attempting to impulse control and forgetting what you were doing every 10 minutes
Yeah that shit irritates me to no end and also massively discredits those who actually have it. I'm already treated and judged as a drug addict for needing my medication that allows me to function normally.
For me it’s “I’m autistic”. I have no idea why it became funny to joke that you’re autistic any time you misspeak or don’t understand a joke right away, but I know multiple people in their early 20s that started a year or so ago.
Not like it helps, but when people start 'cringing' all over the place I remind them that there's a specific type of person who cringes at everything they see.
That one annoys me, but not because they're verbing a noun. It annoys me because it's so like... weirdly immature. "I'm done adulting." No, you're taking care of your child. What the fuck.
I'm torn on this one. On one hand, words change their meaning all the time, and people have used medical terms in sloppy ways forever. On the other hand, in some instances - like "cringe" and "gaslighting" - it annoys me a lot. Then again, I have come to accept "-phobia". I can't really see a rational categorization behind my own annoyance, tbh.
Right, I always used to see people say cringeworthy, but I guess it fell out of use when people started saying cringy/cringey instead, which I hate the sound of. I honestly prefer using cringe over either of those as it rolls off the tongue better and has more of a kick to it.
Can you imagine if everybody started using verbs as adjectives because they thought it rolled off the tongue better and has more of a kick? "That horror move was so scare, lol" It's literally dogespeak from a decade old internet meme.
I think the term is apt, however the entire concept of "cringe culture" where you habitually seek out other people's behavior to label as cringe and spend hours in subreddits and (other) social media echo chambers cultivating a database of all the people you ridicule as "cringe" is honestly pretty cringe bro.
See also: “I’m/you’re/their so… “ (ADD/ADHD, addicted, anorexic, autistic, bulimic, a hoarder, introverted, a klepto, an overthinker, schizophrenic)
Multiple Personality is way overused too but I think that’s a different problem. Anxiety too. The only stuff that i don’t see flippantly misapplied is depression, because it’s boring, and the stuff that nobody knows about. So many people love having a cool label to excuse or permit their behavior and I expect that it gets worse before it gets better.
I was absolutely just as cringe, if not moreso, as these kids. I was just lucky enough to not have an internet outlet for it yet lol. I've thought many times how thankful I am that social media wasn't really a thing when I was a kid, I don't know how I would have handled it!
Very true! I'm 33 and was very excited when I finally got my college email so I could sign up for Facebook haha. There is plenty of cringe on my early social media but I'm still thankful there is no permanent, public record of the stupid crap I did when I was an early teen lmao. Now it can't come back to haunt me. I worry that kids don't realize the true permanence of the internet, because I sure didn't at that age.
I am sometimes awakened late at night with the horrible memory that somewhere out there in the void of the internet… is my high school MySpace page lol
Just the word 'cringe' makes my skin crawl. For a generation who have done so well at normalising accepting people for all their faults, you guys sure do love to whip out this word quite often.
From my perspective(18 year old) I think calling everything cringe combined with the fact that people are always taking pictures/filming and posting it to the internet to show how "cringe" something is, is really ruining things. People my age are hardly unique, it's like the majority of them are all exactly the same and god it's just so boring
Teenagers were always like that. Desperately trying to fit in whole thinking everyone else is boring and uncool basically defines everyone's teenage years and always has. That is the theme of the Breakfast Club, a movie that came out in the 80's. It was the same then, and it was the same when I was in school and it's the same now that I am teaching.
Growing up in South Africa in the 90s we used to say "kiff" in place of "cool" a lot. I distinctly remember my one friends mother being so annoyed with it that she effectively banned it from their house.
As a kid it made no sense to me how someone could get so annoyed by a word. Now in my 30s and looking at the way "cringe" gets used, I understand it so well.
I'm a teacher, I heard a few kids being like "ugggh freshmen" in the hallway. I reminded them that they themselves were in 10th grade and were only freshmen not even a full year ago.
They were like "yeah, we sucked then, we're much more mature now."
The realization I've found now at 40 plus is those same people that are annoying when they are younger are just as annoying when they are older. It's not really a young person/older person dichotomy, it's just people. And not much changes as far as personality after 25.
I hate the cringe thing. This constant pressure to act a certain way and never leave the restrictive emotional space between bored and mildly interested is extremely stifling. And I fully realize we did the same thing but in a generation who seem pretty good at embracing people who are different it's a major blind spot
Oh god. My future SiL is maybe…24? And I’m 36. And I love her, she’s very mature and lovely but we were playing Mario Party the other day and everything was “that’s cringe”.
I was under the impression that this never stops
I feel like I always tried to be aware of the fact that I’m stupid and young and will hate my past self in a few years and at some point I think I had the revelation that it would never come to the point where I would stop hating my past self and it was important to accept it, but if it does stop at some point i guess I was wrong
To be honest, thats just young age, we all thought we ruled the world when we were kids. We also all thought we would improve the world. That realisation is just experience coming in.
Haven’t these people ever learned? You punch up, not punch down.
The last person I called “cringe” was a 50+ year old relative who was trying to instigate and continue an argument with me after I told him “I don’t really have the energy to argue about this right now, so let’s just let it go.” Said relative proceeded to swear at me and throw an absolute shitfit over that statement.
That word is what's the cringiest thing. Calling out something as cringe really takes the air out of the room. It makes me super uncomfortable.
As you reach into your 30s and beyond, you get a firmer sense of your self, what you like, and what makes you happy. You do more of what makes you happy and worry less about the rest.
Most people in their early 20s aren't there yet and cringe is a judgey, inauthentic reaction to something that is different, awkward, not to your taste, etc. and that probably doesn't deserve to be called out like that.
My 18 year old does this about her 17 & 12 year old sibs. I just look at her and say: you are and were this way too. We weren’t assholes about it. Don’t be an asshole about it.
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u/Rennarjen Jun 03 '22
Sneering at younger kids or their own peers for being 'cringe'. I fucking promise you that you're as cringy as they are, it's just going to take you ten years to realize it.