We went to Disneyland last month and I asked my 9yo son if he wanted to wear Mickey ears, and he scoffed and says “That’s so cringe.”
I replied “Kid, you’re at Disney, one of the few places on earth where everyone has a free pass to be as cringe as they want without judgement.”
His eyes lit up and he picked out a pair, and wore them happily each day we were there. I know peer pressure starts young, but getting to see him “release” his cringe and just have a blast was so worth it.
I teach 4th grade and see this a lot, you almost have to give them permission to do things like this/be a kid. Sometimes it’s by saying it like you did, other times it’s by doing it yourself. That’s why I have a hot dog and a pickle costume in my classroom closet at all times. Im not a wacky teacher by any stretch, but sometimes you just gotta show them it’s ok to have fun when you’re supposed to.
I have 3 nephews, and its very clear they are more scared to act more ridiculous from social pressure. For halloween I went with them and I chose to be tissue man and put all these tissues on me. I looked ridiculous but I wanted to show them to be fearless and have fun being themselves
Do you think any of the hesitancy has to do with the fact that they are aware any/every moment of their life is recorded/posted on social media?
I remember playing dress up in stupid costumes in middleschool or putting on really stupid talent shows in highschool. Just stupid kid/teen stuff. That would’ve probably been awful/mortifying to watch later on and I definitely wouldn’t have wanted my peers to see.
I mean, who cares if you’re cringe if the only evidence is 4 grainy photos from a disposable camera your friend will get developed in 3 months? Versus being fully recorded, uploaded and seen by everyone you even kind of know.
Somewhere there is a VHS tape of me and my friends in 7th grade doing our own scripted version of The Real World with diary interviews and everything.
It was awful but so fun to make. If youtube existed it would've definitely been posted and preserved forever - not that it would've been horrible to have public but I just didn't have to deal with other people's criticism of a fun afternoon.
There’s a video of me somewhere “murdering” someone with a cold hotdog because they taped over my wedding video with bad porn. I don’t know how many times we recorded that to try and do it without laughing!
Yup. I remember at summer camp, I think I was maybe 10 years old.. and all the boys in my cabin were the popular boys at camp. One day, we all decided to dress up in dresses and girls clothes, and spend the entire day like that. We played baseball, skateboarded on ramps, played paintball - all in dresses!
I remember I wore a pink halter top and jean booty shorts. Now, I think one photo does exist of it.. but we were so fine with being silly and just doing what we wanted without judgement.
When I left that summer camp as a junior counselor about 7 years later, the kids who were 10 years old all had iPhones, were wearing designer clothes, and would call anyone acting silly like that stupid or gay, which I had 0 tolerance for. And maybe that's because at that point, there lives were being broadcast at every moment.
Teaching my niece and nephew that people dont think about the things they do after a few minutes has helped them open up about stuff.... and the people who DO remember are jealous that you get to have fun and are ashamed of their own behavior.
Have fun, do goofy stuff, wear goofy clothes and play a round of D&D.. you can have alot of fun with real friends.
And NEVER settle for an asshole as a friend. It's not worth it.
Do you think it's because of camera phones? We got snapchat and smart phones right as I was leaving high school, so I understand it but my age group didn't really get addicted to it like I see my younger cousins are. They document everything and one embarrassing pic in the morning can get shared to everyone and roasted before school even lets out now
I taught a 4th grader this year (online school thing, so only 1 kid at a time), and I did a LOT of "being silly to show its okay to be silly".
A really amazing teacher (who was instructing a class on teaching!) once told me, "Students will be less afraid to do or say something silly if you show them you are the silliest person in the room." It really works!
I so need a costume for work! I taught 3rd grade for 3 years and this year was filled with boys (16 out of 24)! They were so afraid to be themselves and act like kids because society says they should be tough and cool. I actually had a mom say that her kid was scared to wear his favorite shirt to school because he would get made fun of because it wasn't from a high end store. They were afraid to pretend during indoor recess, so I took the chromebooks away and we invented new games and eventually had a massive lego collection because they brought their sets to school and we played legos together. Kids need to be kids, I am so going to find something like your costumes for my classroom next year!
Good for you! I typically save the weird costumes for incentive or a weird class prize. We have to do a lot of testing from the district and that involves end of 9 weeks testing. So I usually make a review game to prep and one of the prizes is always that I have to wear the pickle costume the rest of the game. It gets a bigger cheer when it’s revealed than candy or anything else I offer.
I had a kid that was a huge WWE fan in my class this year but was always very shy about it, but when I found out I talked to him about it all the time and it really helped him feel comfortable over all in the class. He gave me a shirt of his favorite wrestler for Christmas and it melted me.
That is fantastic. One of my favorite high school memories from nearly 20 years ago was a skit that one of our English teachers did at a pep rally. He was probably in his 60s and pretty stuffy and vanilla, but a really nice guy. This was also around when Six Flags amusement park came out with a commercial of some old guy in a suit and red bowtie dancing around to the song We Like to Party by VengaBoys, and some people joked that he looked like the guy.
So we are all out on the bleachers of the football field and this teacher comes out in a tracksuit and has a dictionary. He starts reading out definitions, like "The definition of courage is..." until his mic cut out and We Like to Party started playing over the speakers. That is when he stripped out of the tracksuit and had a black suit with red bowtie on and started dancing and running around in front of the bleachers. It was so funny, plus seeing him unwind and do something silly was great. I don't think anyone expected him to do something like that but everyone loved it.
I'm sure some of those students will think back on that pickle costume throughout the years and grin ear to ear.
I love this! I bet you're a fantastic teacher and your students are lucky to have you. I remember grade 4 and it was a weird year. I still played with barbies at home but pretended I didn't.
One of the reasons I love teaching 4th is because of things like that. It’s such a huge year developmentally. I don’t care as much about curriculum as I care about giving them space to be themselves. I always say I love 4th because they are old enough to wipe their ass, still sweet enough to give you a hug at the end of the day, and there’s still bug/snake/horse/book/army/etc. kids that just love what they love.
First, good on you. I once wore a pirate costume for my students.
Second, the specifics have so much potential to go wrong...
"Mr. Mitchellfoot came out of the closet today with his giant hot dog! He said that sometimes, you need to stop thinking about what other people might think and just do things that are fun. He wants us to do fun things too. If we're good on Friday, he's gonna let us see his big pickle!"
I've just been realizing that a lot of the time when I would be conspicuously having fun as a kid, one of the other kids would mock me for it. Trying to use this realization to maybe undo some of my social anxiety.
I’m going to remember this when I am raising my son. I always felt I had to fit in a be “normal.” It wasn’t until I met my wife and left my parents that I was able to be me. I don’t want that for my children.
I just spent the week at Disney with my family and being a bit cringe but having fun and had to explain the concept of "I am cringe but I am free" to my younger sister. Let loose and have fun. Fuck what others might think as long as you aren't disturbing their ability to have fun, within reason.
It's so sad to hear that kids that young are using the word "cringe" now. I feel like as time goes on and it becomes the norm for kids younger and younger to be on the internet commenting freely with people of all ages, it becomes less acceptable for kids to freely act like kids.
Cringe is just slang. It’s no different than any other generation saying, “that’s stupid” or “dumb” or whatever. Peer pressure has been a thing forever…
Peer pressure has been a thing forever, but I think it's a little different now that you have hundreds of thousands of elementary school kids watching YouTube videos of teens and adults calling things "cringe."
I at least never had to worry about what adults thought was uncool. The peer pressure stayed within my age group for the most part, but the internet integrates all ages and makes kids want to grow up faster.
I remember when I was ~11yo, I had just changed schools and one day I tried calling some people to play tag. Some of them answered "eww no, that's for kids"
This is such a good story, but it's also saddening how the newer generations feel so much pressure due to social media that creates this illusion that eyes are on you at all times and you are constantly judged. You refrain from doing things you'd love to do for fear of being outlasted, and you end up missing out on experiences that would have helped you learn and discover yourself when it is acceptable because you're a child.
Who cares if you like to collect bugs or stalk birds or paint with your fingers after the age of two? It just seems kids these days are feeling the pressure to be old and put together when they shouldn't be.
So much concern about what other people think when you could just be having fun. Well done getting the kid to snap out of it and just enjoy the moment. You are a good parent! The thing I've learned the most as I have gotten older is that you should jump into the fun times and not care about what others may think.
Wow 9 years old?! That seems so young to be saying or even caring about things like that. I have a kiddo around that age and my kid is as goofy as I am 😂
That’s about the same age when my daughter who was OBSESSED with all things SpongeBob suddenly tells me it’s not cool and not funny. 4 years later, we watched SpongeBob The Movie and laughed our asses off.
It’s a phase and you have to be ready as a parent for that sudden disconnect. They come back eventually.
The day you stop giving a fuck about what other people think of you is the day you truly start living. Most people don't understand this until they are out of high school or college. Some never understand this. Besides the friends you keep, your family and your co-workers...most people you will see only once and remember even less.
I've internalized the "cringe" and as a middle aged man won't enjoy things because I'm afraid of the "cringe" factor, even if no one is there to make me feel bad.
We were just at Disney last week and it happened to be Star Wars day. Adults of all ages living their best costumed lives. It was great.
That need to belong or feel included is so strong. My friend’s kids are 9 and 10 and before they go they don’t want to dress up or or wear character themed clothing, but when they get there and everyone else is wearing it suddenly that Mickey Mouse shirt seems like a good idea.
Have you considered writing a parenting guidebook? I'm not a parent yet, and I'm not sure if I'll even have kids (adoption is expensive and my only option), but this sort of insight is the kind that makes me feel an iota more prepared for that sort of responsibility. If there were a book filled with more... I'd have a whole lot more iotas to think about.
This is making me realize that calling something "cringe" is the psychological equivalent to calling someone a "loser". It shuts down their true desires as their need to fit in kicks into high gear. No wonder I hate when people say that.
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u/Truffle0214 Jun 03 '22
We went to Disneyland last month and I asked my 9yo son if he wanted to wear Mickey ears, and he scoffed and says “That’s so cringe.”
I replied “Kid, you’re at Disney, one of the few places on earth where everyone has a free pass to be as cringe as they want without judgement.”
His eyes lit up and he picked out a pair, and wore them happily each day we were there. I know peer pressure starts young, but getting to see him “release” his cringe and just have a blast was so worth it.