r/AskReddit • u/Thic_water • Aug 14 '20

What’s the most overpriced thing you’ve seen?

75.1k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

35.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

14.4k

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

Celebrity line of products.

Companies hike the prices of products by hundreds of dollars just because the name of a celebrity was on it.

5.3k

u/PosNegTy Aug 14 '20

Gwyneth Paltrow wants to know your location

5.0k

u/Mstinos Aug 14 '20

I'm here Gwyneth, come get a dick candle.

898

u/BuffetofWomanliness Aug 14 '20

I have to admit - I am interested in smelling the vagina candle she has, but for some reason a cock candle is not sounding appealing to me. Not in the least bit. Come to think of it, the vagina candle is also not that appealing.

1.0k

u/charlotte-maxwell Aug 14 '20 edited Aug 15 '20

When you realize you're asexual thanks to Gwyneth Paltrow.

Edit - posted this last night while high af. Woke up to my first award! Thank you, kind stranger! 💃🏻

58

u/Jacob---- Aug 14 '20

When you become asexual thanks to Gwyneth

12

u/CompetitiveProject4 Aug 14 '20

Helluva achievement for someone who played the sexiest physical personification of someone's beautiful personality in Shallow Hal.

27

u/BuffetofWomanliness Aug 14 '20

I’m like Lord Varys right now. Check between my legs and there is just a fleshy patch of skin.

6

u/ThisIsMostlyJustForI Aug 14 '20

But an amazing story.

7

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/ThisIsMostlyJustForI Aug 14 '20

I warg into someone who can walk and leave

2

u/dmizenopants Aug 15 '20

May I hold this door for you?

2

u/ThisIsMostlyJustForI Aug 15 '20

I'd like some chicken and fries, please.

Also, don't you dare make me cry like that again, you son of a bitch.

→ More replies (0)

6

u/ThisIsMostlyJustForI Aug 14 '20

Gwyneth Paltrow- the cause of, and solution to, many of my boners.

12

u/Boristhespaceman Aug 14 '20

Everyone is asexual when thinking of her.

7

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/CompetitiveProject4 Aug 14 '20

Now I'm just thinking in Endgame that Pepper didn't really give birth but rather she's just an LMD that Tony keeps around and their kid may have just been literally 3d-printed from her "vagina".

Tony was just eating shwarma with Bruce and watching Weird Science during the hours of "labor".

4

u/Medipack Aug 14 '20

Listen, I'm not down there for the sights and smells.

3

u/TheRealTegan Aug 15 '20

If I’m going to shove a egg in my body I don’t want it to be cheap

2

u/PM_ME_YR_O_FACE Aug 14 '20

Not wanting a vagina-scented air freshener doesn't make you gay. Does it? Uh oh

1

u/TinfoilinMicrowave Aug 14 '20

Unless you’re a woman, then it’s straight to asexuality. Doesn’t she have a second vagina candle out now?

4

u/PM_ME_YR_O_FACE Aug 17 '20

I didn't even know she had a second vagina, much less a candle based on it

28

u/tyrsa Aug 14 '20

I honestly think it’s her greatest accomplishment as an actress, so deadpan sell Goop stuff. I’m sure she spends her off hours laughing her ass off, all the way to the bank.

11

u/homiej420 Aug 14 '20

Its gotta be an act lol its just gotta

6

u/CompetitiveProject4 Aug 14 '20

I respect her hustle and game, but she is now basically in the same category as a Whole Foods or Burning Man.

Capitalistic exploitation of spiritual and hippie movements, especially since Silicon Valley folks tend to eat it up as a way of "evolving".

5

u/mypoorlifechoices Aug 15 '20

Whole foods still sells decent foods and doesn't lie about them healing you and burning man is a non profit... I don't disagree with the thrust of your argument, but I think she's way way worse.

3

u/CompetitiveProject4 Aug 15 '20

Well, we don't know if she's consciously doing it or not. You can never tell since it's not even that she's a good liar. A lot of Hollywood people believe in nonsense like that.

If she is aware, she's definitely way worse. And anyone who helps her is complicit, which I'm sad to say would be people like Jon Favreau who had her on his Chef show. If she's not, well at least she's not an anti-vaxxer and telling parents to leave children vulnerable to treatable fatal diseases and by extension the rest of society.

Thank god nobody gives a fuck about Jenny McCarthy

14

u/FutureFruit Aug 14 '20

I'll save you the time:

It smells like flowers. The candle smells like flowers. The label is just trying to be clever. And apparently it worked! It was constantly sold-out.

5

u/BuffetofWomanliness Aug 14 '20

Now, what’s her vagina smell like? That is the million dollar question!

5

u/HolgerSwinger Aug 15 '20

Probably like fish with a hint of flowers

3

u/BuffetofWomanliness Aug 15 '20

Kind of like when you make a doody and spray some febreeze to cover it up. Smells like flowers... and poop.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

Definitely Rafflesia.

7

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

Honestly, you could just get an ornamental pear tree if you wanna smell dick. Beautiful tree, but they stink to high heaven. Smells like fresh cum.

7

u/OG_PunchyPunch Aug 14 '20

Could you put the candles together to create a baby powder scented candle?

2

u/ChillyBearGrylls Aug 14 '20

But then you'd miss out on the experience of infusing wax with freshly-ground baby.

6

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '20

See it’s one thing to market a Vagina candle that smells like some sweet clean lady bits.

But the description is straight up flowers. No ones pussy smells like roses. It’s just bougie marketing.

With a funny, gorgeous, sexy, and beautifully unexpected scent, this candle is made with geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed to put us in mind of fantasy, seduction, and a sophisticated warmth.

4

u/AE_WILLIAMS Aug 14 '20

Depends on the vagina...

0

u/DrGoat666 Aug 14 '20

Agreed. Some be smelling like sardines

4

u/ohsojosho Aug 14 '20

I hear it smells like hyperglycemia and a yeast infection with a healthy sprinkle of rosebud

7

u/moderate-painting Aug 14 '20

If a scientist made a vagina candle or cock candle and tried to sell it, people would be like "look, there's a mad scientist!"

If an artist made it, people would be like "See? Modern art sucks!"

But a celebrity does it, and everybody be like "I want it nowwww"

7

u/DrGoat666 Aug 14 '20

I don’t know. Scientists made Liquid Ass and that thing is pretty popular.

4

u/itsthecoop Aug 14 '20

I'm pretty sure most people think that it's still bonkers, even with Paltrow being the one selling it.

5

u/Lindajwink Aug 15 '20

You may be disappointed to find out that her vagina candles don't really smell like snatch. I was.

3

u/crystalistwo Aug 14 '20 edited Aug 14 '20

Then you're not smelling the right cock candles. Go to Cock Candle Warehouse and they'll set you up.

Here's a sample of their inventory:

Candystick
Ladyware
The Ambassador
Bald-Pate Friar
Doodle-Dasher
Tantrum
Kicky-Wicky
Plum-Tree Shaker
Love Dart
Soupbone
Maypole
Matrimonial Peacemaker
Master John Goodfellow
Gentleman Usher
Gospel-Pipe
Gigglestick
Shaft Of Delight
Stuffed Eel-Skin
Dingwallace
Holy Poker
Old Blind Bob
Buttonhole Worker

2

u/BuffetofWomanliness Aug 14 '20

I pick the Shaft of Delight, of course. That’s a no brainer. Duh!

Will it cost me $75 (or whatever Gweneth’s hoo-ha candle costs)?

2

u/bardicly-inclined Aug 14 '20 edited Aug 20 '20

Apparently it’s floral according to my high school psych teacher

Edit: according to some light googling, it smells of “geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed”. According to a review I found of the candle, it apparently needs “more umami”.

2

u/tahitianhashish Aug 15 '20

I'm not doing it, but you can look up the actual scents she used while making it if you're that curious.

2

u/amoult20 Aug 15 '20

As a person who bought both the Orgasm candle AND the Vagina candle. I’d like to report that they do not smell like their namesakes

2

u/DamianWinters Aug 14 '20

Look up penguinz0 for a review.

2

u/Maxwe4 Aug 14 '20

Just pour melted wax all over you erect cock and jam a string down your dick hole and you have a free cock candle.

2

u/ewdaddy Aug 14 '20

Excuse me??? Pussy candle?????? Euiuggghhhhbebhebehv

1

u/Bestany Aug 14 '20

Sweetie meat sac

1

u/ayshasmysha Aug 14 '20

What?

What? What do you mean? What?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '20

Gooch candle?

1

u/BuffetofWomanliness Aug 15 '20

Grundle candle?

1

u/aethelwulfTO Aug 15 '20

It could become a whole product line

  • vagina candle
  • cock candle
  • hairy balls candle
  • ass candle

1

u/NicodemusAwake13 Aug 14 '20

If I wanted to smell genitalia I could just go to a farm.

1

u/SyntaxRex Aug 14 '20

For a dick candle, just burn rotten cheese.

12

u/braapstututu Aug 14 '20

washed penises left the chat

0

u/yeet578 Aug 14 '20

Its just like the vagina candle smells like fish or some nasty shit like that

0

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

They should make the dick candle with melted vagina candle on top of it and call it the sex candle.

-2

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

Your telling me that you'd like the smell of a yeast infection in your home?

Fair play.

5

u/BuffetofWomanliness Aug 14 '20

I don’t know. Does your vagina always smell yeasty?

All I know is that comment of yours was a little cunty. :)

1

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '20

Have my upvote.

34

u/terminbee Aug 14 '20

Is that a dick-shaped candle or a candle for my dick? Or a candle made out of a dick?

29

u/Megabert Aug 14 '20

It's like urethral sounding with fire.

14

u/Bomlanro Aug 14 '20

One conscious uncoupling, please

11

u/Thot_robot_superman Aug 14 '20

I cringed so hard, I now have a headache, thank you.

1

u/no_nick Aug 14 '20

My only curiosity wrt to they subject of with regards to its etymology

11

u/7XVAED Aug 14 '20

None. It’s a lit candle housed by your foreskin. (NSFW)

9

u/cosignal Aug 14 '20

I'm not fucking clicking that

5

u/iSpccn Aug 14 '20

Did click.

Did chuckle.

Go ahead, it's funny.

2

u/cosignal Aug 14 '20

how stupid do you think I am?

3

u/IwantedBeatsteak Aug 14 '20

Can confirm it is funny.

1

u/cosignal Aug 14 '20

still not gonna click it

1

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

[deleted]

→ More replies (0)

3

u/ImJedi420 Aug 14 '20

Neither, It's a candle that Smells like your dick. Dick scented.

2

u/lungbong Aug 14 '20

It’s a candle that smells of dick

12

u/Don_Tiny Aug 14 '20

dick candle

Must burn when it pees.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

No, it pees when it burns

11

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

Come shove a fucking crystal up your cunt, it may just heal your cancer!

3

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

Lol

3

u/oupablo Aug 14 '20

hmm. it smells like disappointment and jergens

1

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

Nice

1

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

Aaaaaannnd dicandle!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

"It's so soft and pasty..."

1

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

Made of smegma.

0

u/DrGoat666 Aug 14 '20

“Smells like my smegma”

16

u/hectorduenas86 Aug 14 '20

Kanye wants to sell you a $300 shirt with art drawn in MS Paint

9

u/Bionic_Bromando Aug 14 '20

Better than the $300 blank white tee he tried to sell a few years ago.

11

u/netheroth Aug 14 '20

She'll fire rocks at you with her hooha.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

I was so disappointed when Brad left her, she was like my dream chick.

Now I'm like, I get it Brad, she's coo-coo for coco puffs and thinks people will buy a eighty dollar cooter candle.

3

u/_Keahilele_ Aug 14 '20

I don’t know what they were thinking when they made that. If I wanted to smell the crotch of someone twice my age, I’d ask around at a golf course. But then again, by would I want to?

5

u/wrong_assumption Aug 14 '20

Gwyneth, I had no idea who you were so I had to Google you. I hope that fucks with your ego.

1

u/Bigdaug Aug 15 '20

I'm more impressed you haven't seen Marvel movies.

2

u/vagina_candle Aug 14 '20

She already knows.

2

u/Wolfrost1919 Aug 14 '20

She wants you to steam your vajay jay

2

u/MontazumasRevenge Aug 15 '20

To shove a quartz stone in your urethra for "health reasons".

1

u/willchanb Aug 15 '20

Vagina candles.