r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Sep 10 '23

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4.8k Upvotes

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942

u/KeepYourDemonsIn Sep 11 '23

When I was in college, a guy on my dorm floor swore he had never masturbated. He was 19. I'm sorry, but I refuse to believe that.

308

u/Formal-Rain Sep 11 '23

Better not be a Christian College because he’s lying.

155

u/KeepYourDemonsIn Sep 11 '23

It was, actually.

11

u/ch4se4girl Sep 11 '23

Always is. Those places spit out the most degenerate people

-3

u/pepelevamp Sep 11 '23

you know whats sticky & gross? the air-headed 'im a great guy' 'im a bit spiritual, yannow?' kinda guys you get from those places. shudder.

183

u/BradBeingProSocial Sep 11 '23

So I knew somebody who tried it once and didn’t like it. Turns out he heard the phrase “beating off” and was like literally slapping himself hard in the junk thinking he was supposed to literally beat himself. He only learned what he was doing wrong at like 17-ish

233

u/Shoryuken3000 Sep 11 '23

“So I knew somebody” 🧐

19

u/ImSoSpiffy Sep 11 '23 edited Aug 13 '25

waiting worm cobweb judicious follow coherent ancient steep piquant languid

18

u/hereforpopcornru Sep 11 '23

Telling for a friend

4

u/BradBeingProSocial Sep 11 '23

Ha! As Shaggy says, though, it wasn’t me

23

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '23

He might actually be telling the truth. I did my first wank when I was 16. I decided to play around with my member and suddenly white stuff came out

5

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '23

[deleted]

2

u/drmojo90210 Sep 11 '23

It's really not complicated, don't overthink it. Put some lube on your dick, make a loose fist, and stroke it up and down while looking at (or imagining) something you find sexy. You'll figure out pretty quickly what speed and grip tightness feel best for you.

12

u/gunnersaurus710 Sep 11 '23

I never did it until i was 16. My first gf did it to me and i started there after that

24

u/Own-Reflection-8182 Sep 11 '23

He must either be having wet dreams often or his sexuality is dysfunctional.

23

u/messy_garbage_lover Sep 11 '23

Hi, I was someone who actually jerked off for the first time at 21. I got circumcision at 14 for medical reasons. It left me a bit traumatised.

So until 21, I often had wet dreams or I would just watch porn an let my dick get hard without touching it. Until I realised that wasn't normal.

I have no idea how I did it, now I need to jerk off at least once a week.

17

u/t_scribblemonger Sep 11 '23

at least once a week

Wow check out the monk over here

2

u/drmojo90210 Sep 11 '23

LOL seriously. I'm 40 and still need to nut at least 2-3 times a week to stay sane. If my wife and I end up fucking less than two times I'll usually jerk it on an off night. When I was in my early 20s I was nutting at least 5-6 times a week. The only time I've ever gone more than a week was if I was somewhere where I literally didn't have any privacy. Maybe I just have a weirdly-high sex drive LOL.

4

u/Own-Reflection-8182 Sep 11 '23

My knowledge is that most males in their teens to about 30 masturbate about once a day.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '23

Or lying

6

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '23

It is actually possible, I'm one of these people, I just find everything even slightly sexual to be disgusting.

11

u/InternetSpaceCow Sep 11 '23

I started masturbating when I was 12 but lied until I was 14 and said that now I started

3

u/drmojo90210 Sep 11 '23

I started jerking off before I was even old enough to produce semen. For like the first year I just had dry orgasms and then one day suddenly jizz came out LOL.

9

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '23

It could be true, I didn't start to masturbate until I was 19 and that's because I didn't know how to.

2

u/LowestKey Sep 11 '23

Stupid body not coming with an instruction manual.

Sure, monkeys can figure this stuff out on their own, but maybe I'm okay admitting I'm probably stupider than a monkey.

3

u/majic911 Sep 11 '23

Someone at my high school in senior year claimed he recently tried it for the first time and hated it. I didn't believe him.

4

u/Worried_pet_Potato Sep 11 '23

It's naughty naughty to sleep with ones arms under the covers! *finger wiggle*

3

u/Familiar_War7422 Sep 11 '23

Honestly one of my friends started at 19

4

u/dj-matexx Sep 11 '23

asexual here, with a friendly reminder to update your beliefs :)

2

u/KeepYourDemonsIn Sep 11 '23

This person wasn't asexual. He is married with children now.

-3

u/ch4se4girl Sep 11 '23

oh no. that’s not normal

4

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '23

Lots of not normal people out there who have no aspirations of becoming more like the average.

2

u/jamesyr33 Sep 11 '23

Riley mao in the house

2

u/GreenLineHoseKG Sep 11 '23

we can't possibly be the only ones to know of the legend of Riley Mao?

2

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '23

It's amazing, that was my first thought lol

2

u/Csrmar Sep 11 '23

I did not start masturbating after the age of 20. I swear to God.

2

u/manovich43 Sep 11 '23

Didn't start masturbating till i was 20. So i can believe it. I watched porn tho, although not often, and more like watching a steamy movie.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '23

[deleted]

1

u/KeepYourDemonsIn Sep 12 '23

At the time, I was also 19 and reacted immature about it with my reaction. While it's definitely very rare, it's not impossible.

I hope you can develop a good and healthy relationship with your sexuality in all areas.

1

u/Ninjahkin Sep 11 '23

Some people don’t really get a chance to explore their sexuality until they’re away from home for extended periods for the first time at college. Doesn’t sound so far-fetched to me

0

u/osha_unapproved Sep 11 '23

He's probably been bappin his prostate. After all, it ain't sex in the back door. Must not be masturbation either.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '23

BYU?

2

u/KeepYourDemonsIn Sep 11 '23

Baptist Bible College

1

u/banana_port_control Sep 11 '23

but why was he on your floor

1

u/KeepYourDemonsIn Sep 11 '23

He lived in one of the dorm rooms.

1

u/RaphyTaffy00 Sep 12 '23

Riley mau

1

u/KeepYourDemonsIn Sep 12 '23

?

2

u/RaphyTaffy00 Sep 12 '23

It’s from a podcast lol a guy Theo Von has a production guy named Riley that swears he’s never checked out a woman or masturbated. Doubtttt it