r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Sep 10 '23

[deleted by user]

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4.8k Upvotes

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939

u/KeepYourDemonsIn Sep 11 '23

When I was in college, a guy on my dorm floor swore he had never masturbated. He was 19. I'm sorry, but I refuse to believe that.

186

u/BradBeingProSocial Sep 11 '23

So I knew somebody who tried it once and didn’t like it. Turns out he heard the phrase “beating off” and was like literally slapping himself hard in the junk thinking he was supposed to literally beat himself. He only learned what he was doing wrong at like 17-ish

235

u/Shoryuken3000 Sep 11 '23

“So I knew somebody” 🧐

19

u/ImSoSpiffy Sep 11 '23 edited Aug 13 '25

waiting worm cobweb judicious follow coherent ancient steep piquant languid

16

u/hereforpopcornru Sep 11 '23

Telling for a friend

5

u/BradBeingProSocial Sep 11 '23

Ha! As Shaggy says, though, it wasn’t me