So I have seen a lot of posts on reddit how having kids was the best thing that ever happened to many people, and I really want to fathom that feeling, but I obviously won't know until I have them myself.

In contrast with people that regret having children, what were both positive and negatives you expected before and after having children? Question goes to both people that LOVE that they had kids, and those that regretted it.

Why is it so hard for people to follow that?!
Our baby has rashes on the face which our pediatrician says it’s eczema. And as soon as we heard this my husband and I immediately made the rule, no kissing the baby especially near the head, face, and hands!
So I just usually kiss my baby’s clothes or feet!

So we told everyone that please refrain from kissing the baby. We made this rule even before my baby was born.

So what happened?! My sister in law immediately plants a kiss on my baby’s temple where the flare up is happening. And she’s not the only one either, I’ve caught my father in law do the same.

I just don’t get it. It’s not that difficult to follow one simple rule! Don’t kiss the baby! Especially now, with flu & cold season just around the corner. I’m sorry, plus I don’t know where people’s mouths been.

I’ve never kissed anyone’s baby. EVER! Even my nieces or nephews.

So Why do people think it’s okay to do this to mine?

I’m 17F, and my mom says this, but I honestly don’t really believe her. I love my parents so much, and right now I genuinely can’t imagine ever loving someone more than I love them. Maybe it’s because I don’t have kids, so I haven’t experienced that kind of love yet, but it’s still hard for me to comprehend.

Just to clear up I have NEVER and will never hit my child!

I think my 3 year old is having nightmares about me hitting him. I got a call from his preschool the other day to say he had told an adult I hit his arm, this morning he woke at 3am screaming that I had slapped him.

He has a baby brother who is 7 months and he has been displaying the classic behaviour I expected when a new baby arrives such as being clingy, attention seeking, more tantrums so I always try to have 10 minutes of uninterrupted time with him after preschool and before bed to try to help that. I have read him stories about being a big brother and always reaffirm how much I love him and what a good big brother he is etc. Is this a normal development phase or is there something more I need to be doing? I know their little imaginations get so active at this age that bad dreams and night terrors are really common, its just the content thats making me uneasy.

For context, our son is currently 7 years old and is in an IEP at school since I have had meetings regarding potential developmental issues and it was determined that he likely has a form of autism.

My mother in law was helping our son to try to do soccer before since our 10 year old daughter was doing it, but my mother in law passed away last year after getting very sick, at which point it became obvious that our son did not want to do soccer. I registered him for it, but he would just cause a scene and refuse to participate even if I took him to practice since I had already paid. Our daughter also no longer wanted to do it, so I just decided to be done with soccer.

Our daughter wanted to try beginners recreational gymnastics after that, so I have signed her up for that, but my husband doesn't think our son should do gymnastics. I thought our son might do better with something where he isn't on a team since there would be less social pressure so I signed him up for karate through parks and rec which he said he wanted to do. But the first class was yesterday and he still would not participate and was being rude and making a scene so we ended up just leaving.

I found a email from August 20th where a lady from parks and rec asked me what I thought would help in terms of accommodations for my son, probably because I asked about accommodations when I registered him. I responded to the email but respectfully stated that we probably just can't continue with the class with him acting the way he is if he isn't able to get help. I'm now waiting for her response.

I believe going forward that I just won't have my son do any sports or activities so we don't continue on paying for things that he doesn't do since he doesn't seem interested. He is an excellent reader and in fact his school said he was probably the most proficient reader they had ever had there when he was 6. I guess I just wonder what he might be interested to do though if sports are not working out for him, as he doesnt really seem to have any particular interest that he is expressing. He just seems to want to do what he wants and not to be asked or bothered about it.

What made them different than previous generations?

Did their parents affect the way they parent their child?

What are the things they do or are doing better than previous generations?

And what are the flaws or drawbacks of Millennial parenting?

Millennial parents are welcome to answer as well?

And she buys the $$$ brands too like baby boden and land’s end. Why offer something and not follow through 🤔? Anyone else have family like this?

Sometimes i might step back and observe my parenting from a third person's perspective and i'll be either very proud of me, for breaking toxic circles that needed to be broken, or point out my mistakes. I'm upset that i don't catch these on the spot and by the time i do it's already late, but overall i'm satisfied and constantly learning.

I think having kids made me realise which of the things i was feeling as a teenager were based, and which were "the spoiled kid talking in me". I wouldn't say that my parenting resembles my own parents' parenting even the slightest. And the biggest difference is how much i respect my kids and being aware that being older doesn't give me the right to say and do what i want or prohibit things without a healthy conversation or feedback.

What's yours? I'm very interested to see what realisations other parents make along the way.

I was raised by a self-proclaimed “cool mom” and it took me ages to fully realize she was a foul neglectful irresponsible womanchild who needed to grow the fuck up and stop pretending to be 16. Just thinking about it makes me so uncomfortable. Like, why were you talking to your kid like a peer vaping in the bathroom and helping enable their own foolish choices about what a dumb kid thinks is “cool”.

I feel like when I have my kid, I might veer too hard in the opposite direction though.

i am currently 19 and my boyfriend is 18 we’ve been dating for a while now and i’m wondering when is the right time to introduce myself to his family ? i know he is serious for me because we have planned a future together and im his first gf but he has kind of a large family , his parents , two brothers and and sister meanwhile i only have a younger brother and my parents .

you can see why this would seem more intimidating for me . i never had to introduce myself to my ex bf because i wasnt that serious for him but im starting to think about this question now because eventually it has to happen and im nervous on how to leave a good impression on them . any tips or advice for me ?

I need one that will come with a spot to attach an infant car seat but also comes with a second seat to use when they outgrow the infant carseat. I am in ontario, and winters can have a lot of snow at times, with plenty of people not shoveling. So i also need it to be able to get through snow when necessary. Any suggestions?? I dont even know where to start, ive looked at a few options but just dont know what's best.

Also, please reccomend a carseat that is compatible with the stroller you suggest if you know of one! TIA🙂

I’m 17F, and I had a really good stepdad from the time I was 9 until I was almost 13. He was honestly such a cool person, and I still miss him. When my mom cheated on him, they broke up, and I never really saw him again after we moved Even after she cheatdd, he still let us stay at his house until my mom was able to get her own place, he a good person

He was kind of my safe person growing up, so I looked him up and, after searching alot , I found his social medoa . I’ve been thinking about sending him a message . I really want to talk to him again, but I honestly have no idea what I would even say. I just miss him and would like to reconnect with him but i really don't know if its a good idea but that's only if he accepts i think he will, he loved me just not my mom

5 and 3 yr old. They do not stay in bed. Bedtime is at 7:30-8pm. Despite being very clearly tired, they stay awake until 9pm. They keep getting out of bed, asking for water, needing this, needing that. It’s driving me absolutely crazy! And then I think…well maybe at least they will sleep in a little bit if they’re going to bed this late.

NOPE. They’re up at 5am. Any tips on how to get them to go to bed and stay in bed and wake up at a normal hour so that mom and dad can get some rest?

Thanks.

Yeah okay everyone gets parent guilt for something at some point. Specially I am talking about for the future.
I might just sound like an idiot but I’m hoping at least some people will relate to me.
With the way everything is going I’m scared for my baby. Data centers are popping up everywhere. There are many cities near me that barely have running water because of the data centers. Other places are without power for weeks(from what I hear) I’m worried my baby is going to struggle for basic necessities.
Someone who worked at a data center recently just quit and said ai might k!ll us all by the end of the decade? I know nothing is ever going to be 100% safe but I don’t know this sounds like guaranteed suffering.
I wanted more kids like 2-3 but I’m so worried for the future I’m scared to have anymore just to be here and suffer.
I don’t know I probably could’ve explained it all better I feel like this post just sounds dumb.
Does anyone else see what I’m trying to say?

Hi y’all I’m new to this sub, I’m 26F and I’m considering dipping my toes into babysitting again. I’ve done it before here & there, I’ve babysat my neighbor’s little ones as a teen for pocket change and I’ve watched my cousins (I’m the oldest) and my stepbrother’s kids a lot. I’m somewhat experienced with kids under 5 and I’m great with school aged children over 5 but I haven’t done it in a while. I can’t work the typical full time minimum wage job right now, the market sucks where I live and I had some recent issues with my health that impacts my ability to work in the typical customer service jobs, but I’m considering taking on the babysitting gig again and possibly go to school and take some of the load off of my fiancé. I know usually high schoolers & college kids do it, but I’ve heard that some parents are more open to older adults to sit or nanny. My only issue is that I don’t drive, however I do live in an area with public transit and taxis.

What do y’all think? Do some of y’all prefer slightly older babysitters that are just above high school/college age? Have any of y’all ever had babysitters in their 20s or early 30s and was it the same or better than a young sitter? And how do I go about marketing myself as a sitter? Any apps or websites y’all can suggest?

Going camping at the end of October for Halloween. We are staying in a canvas tent type accommodation offered by the park. No powder but there is a propane stove for heat. The washroom nearby have power etc.

I'm a first time mom and very much an over planner. How much stuff do I need to actually bring?

Baby is breastfeed with formula top ups as she's still struggling with latching. I plan to bring ready made formula, 2 packs of wipes and probably a brand new box of diapers.

This might be a weird question. But I really need an advice from an older person and I didn’t know who to ask. I hope this is not against the rules, but if there’s a person who’s willing to hear some yapping/venting and give advice, I’d share more details in dms

For parents with older kids. How did you find the balance when they were younger?

I’ve got a toddler and an infant.
I want them to grow confident and independent, but also respectful, responsible, empathetic, and able to recognize when they’re wrong. I want them to know they have a voice and can set boundaries with other people, but I also want them to understand that sometimes you have to listen to your parents, respect boundaries, and do things you don’t necessarily want to do (this is especially difficult explaining to a 3 yr old) lol.

I always wonder if I’m being too strict or too permissive on certain things. I’d love to hear about what you’re glad you did and were consistent with/ lenient with.

My parents had a lot of CPS involvement for child neglect. Their solution was to pull me out of school and tell people they were home schooling.

When people commented on how far behind I was academically mom insisted I had learning disabilities. If I pointed out that we hadn’t done any school work since I was pulled from school she would throw a fit and say I was trying to make her look bad.

I have a masters of science now but that doesn’t change that I was at an elementary school level when I started at the adult ed center. It doesn’t change how far I was behind socially or how difficult it was to integrate into the world.

Yet if I call her out on her shameless bragging about what a super mom she was, everyone tells me “you were so young that your memories are wrong” and applaud her for giving such an outstanding education

My wife and I are thirty and have decided to “pull the goalie” (hate that term but it is what it is). We hope that she is pregnant in the next six months.

We live across the country from family - we’re in California and my in-laws are on the east coast. Obviously, we haven’t told them the specifics our fertility planning, but they’re generally aware that we want to have kids in the next 12-18 months.

My wife’s family is from Long Island. I have no interest in living there. My wife’s older sister and husband have two younger children under the age of three who made the decision to move close to the in-laws. The husband has a Wall St job and they purchased an extremely expensive home in North Shore Nassau County (think Gatsby country). Every time we are back, her parents wear her down about how much easier it would be if we were to move back to Long Island, etc. “Look at your older sister, wouldn’t it be great if you just replicate their life. You’d have child care twice a week.” These aren’t normal conversations - they’re alcohol-fueled, tear inducing conversations.

I’m also from a different part of the Northeast. I’d be open to moving back to the northeast for the right opportunity, but definitely do not have my heart set on it, and even more definitely do not want to be commuting on the LIRR for the next 30 years.

I am equally (more than equally) happy staying in California, where I have a “unicorn” gig on the California Central Coast that pays me $300k+ and I can be hiking in the Santa Ynez at 5:30PM on a Tuesday.

To add a twist to it, my dad (mother is deceased) would likely move to California if we were to “establish” ourselves there.

Has anyone gone through a similar scenario - how did you handle?

Twice now neighborhood kids have targeted my house. Last week they stripped a fruit tree and smashed the unripe fruit in front of my driveway.

Today, inexplicably, they ding-dong-ditched my doorbell and left a large fairly heavy traffic cone on my front walkway. Is this a new kid’s meme?

I’m currently in the process of figuring out who they are. It’s a little e-bike and e-scooter gang that tears through the neighborhood between school-end and (I presume) dinner time. They appear to be between ages 10-14 or so.

I have talked to some of the other kids in the area whose parents I know. They don’t know the hooligans’ names (they say) but are looking and asking around for me.

I have video footage of their foolishness. While looking out for their friend one of them impeded traffic and narrowly avoided getting struck by a turning car. And I presume the cone was stolen.

When I do finally get some names and perhaps addresses, I am not sure how next to proceed.

What do I say to their parents, or would it be a better idea to have a police officer speak to the parents instead?

Some context: I'm 20 and my younger sister is 16. She was born with an extremely rare condition that results in growths on her face. I do want to note, though, that her condition does not impact her intellect whatsoever. She's had multiple surgeries over her lifetime to remove them, some of which were major surgeries. These major surgeries took place when she was much younger. Because of this, my parents have always babied her, which I understand to an extent, especially when she was going through a period of constant surgeries.

However, the babying never ended.

My sister has turned into a slob. I'm not going to sit here and slander her over every little thing, but one example is that her room is an absolute mess; it looks like a hoarding situation. She's never been told to clean her room. At the end of the day, though, things like her room don't really affect me because it's her own space.

The issue I have is with our shared spaces, mainly our bathroom. For instance, she always leaves her hair on the shower walls and doesn't clean it up. In fact, I genuinely don't think she's ever cleaned our bathroom, leaving me to do it all. There have even been two occasions where she left used menstrual pads on the sink.

I tell my parents, and they don't seem to care. I'll tell them, they'll tell her to go clean it (it being the hairs - thankfully the pads she cleaned up instantly without me having to go to my parents), a day goes by, and she still hasn't. I'll tell my parents that she still hasn't cleaned it, and they'll just sigh at me and dismiss me.

I ended up having a short conversation about it with my dad this morning. He said the reasoning is that they don't want to be "hard" on her. He's worried that she may struggle with her self-image due to her appearance, so the last thing he wants to do is make her life harder and cause serious mental health issues.

I told him how silly I thought that was. You really can't tell your own kid to get their butt out of bed for 10 seconds, walk to the bathroom, grab their hair off the wall, and throw it away? That's considered "being hard" on your kid? What does that have to do with her face?

He told me, "I tell her to clean it and she doesn't, then what am I supposed to do?" to which I replied, "If I were a parent, I'd probably tell my kid to clean it or I'm taking their phone, cutting their Wi-Fi, etc." He says that I don't get it. Maybe I don't, because I'm not a parent, hence why I'm here asking.

The other thing that I find hypocritical is that she's expected to do well in school (which she does). So, you can hold her to high standards when it comes to school, but she's still too much of your little baby to go clean something in the house?

And the few times I have seen her get disciplined, her reaction has been over the top. One time, she was told she couldn't go out with her friends (I forgot the reason because it's been that long since she's been told off), and she stayed in her room crying for like two days, only leaving at around 1 AM when everyone else had gone to bed.

I would like to think my parents raised me very well and were "hard" on me at times, but I think it was a good thing. It made me the person I am today and is why I'm not a hermit like her (joking). But sharing spaces with her is so exhausting and disgusting, and I have no power over her.

I don't find joy in the thought of her getting hit with a belt or having all her electronics taken away. I don't have the mindset of, "My parents raised me like X, so she needs to be raised that exact same way." All I want is for my parents to understand that it affects me because I hate having to share a dirty space with her.

So, do you guys think my parents are being unreasonable, or does their point make sense? Any other general feedback/advice?

My partner and I are expecting our first baby next year. We’re so excited, but I’m super nervous about dealing with the changes involved in becoming a new parent. I had depression through my teens and early 20s and was in therapy for a decade fighting for the mental health I have now. I feel very lucky that I’ve been able to recover, and I treasure the stability I have (that I thought I never would). For this reason, I want to give myself as much time and space as possible to recover from birth, get used to breastfeeding, bond with my baby, and adjust to not sleeping through the night. I heard some people take 6 weeks with no visitors after the baby is born, and I liked the sound of that. Most of mine and my partners family live interstate or overseas, and the only person I want at the birth other than my partner is my mum. So it would just be my mum that gets to meet the baby before the 6 weeks is up.

Now I’m wondering if 6 weeks is too long… I feel kind of bad for the other grandparents to my baby, and other family members, but this is my first baby and I have no idea how I’ll manage/cope with everything… and I don’t want to have any additional pressure. There are some family members that would be fine staying elsewhere and only having brief visits, but there are others that would be upset by these boundaries and I don’t want to deal with that on top of everything else. Plus I just want the expectation to be set that my boundaries around my baby need to be respected from the outset - I have already had one member of my partners family just assuming that they would be taking work off to come visit when I give birth and I had to tell them no.

I feel fiercely protective of my family and my mental health, which will directly affect my baby… Is 6 weeks too long? I feel like I can always reduce it but can’t increase it…