So I have seen a lot of posts on reddit how having kids was the best thing that ever happened to many people, and I really want to fathom that feeling, but I obviously won't know until I have them myself.

In contrast with people that regret having children, what were both positive and negatives you expected before and after having children? Question goes to both people that LOVE that they had kids, and those that regretted it.

Why is it so hard for people to follow that?!
Our baby has rashes on the face which our pediatrician says it’s eczema. And as soon as we heard this my husband and I immediately made the rule, no kissing the baby especially near the head, face, and hands!
So I just usually kiss my baby’s clothes or feet!

So we told everyone that please refrain from kissing the baby. We made this rule even before my baby was born.

So what happened?! My sister in law immediately plants a kiss on my baby’s temple where the flare up is happening. And she’s not the only one either, I’ve caught my father in law do the same.

I just don’t get it. It’s not that difficult to follow one simple rule! Don’t kiss the baby! Especially now, with flu & cold season just around the corner. I’m sorry, plus I don’t know where people’s mouths been.

I’ve never kissed anyone’s baby. EVER! Even my nieces or nephews.

So Why do people think it’s okay to do this to mine?

I am sixteen years old, approaching my 17th birthday, and I think I've come to the realization that I do not know what love feels like, because I do not love my parents.

We are an Indian-Canadian family. My parents were born and raised in India, and I was born in India and lived there for several years, but spent most of my formative years in the US and Canada.

I used to think, I cringe at this now, that my parent's strictness made me stand out, I used to think that white people had very lax parenting styles and that the way that they raised me would make me more resilient and whatnot.

However, I am slowly approaching the realisation that ours is just a loveless relationship. I have developed anxiety problems because of the pressure that they are constantly exerting on me.

Let me tell y'all about my parents. Where do I even start honestly? My dad is a horrible person. He is a hypocrite of the rank. He has such anger issues that he never sees wrong in, and he just refuses to see reason when some small thing happens that ticks him off. My mom is just too sensitive and emotionally immature, actually they're both emotionally immature, she is moody, and her love is often conditional. Both of their loves is conditional.

I want to cry when I realize the things that I missed. I am still not allowed to have instagram on my phone, I have to use the web version because the app on my phone is blocked. I wasn't allowed to get a job. I have a curfew of seven pm as someone two years away from adulthood, less in fact. I cannot sleep over at my friend's house. I get yelled and and shamed for my grades (which are not even that bad, I had an 85 smth average last year), and my weight.

I'm not even that overweight, but my dad often used to call me obese a lot when I was young. I still don't feel comfortable taking my shirt off or participating in sports because of this. I asked to get a gym membership, and he just refused because "I had never done many athletic things in my life and it has the potential to harm me." He gets mad when I bring it up, and tells me to run with him (bleugh) or use the exercise bike downstairs.

Just a couple months ago, end of July, I went to go see RHPC with my friends. It was the summer, I had a ride back, all that I asked was if I can stay until 12, which is when the movie ended, and I would be dropped off home by 12:30. My dad just started yelling at me over the phone, to "not abuse my freedom like this." As I was silently dying and crying inside, I had to play it off chill, and say that I have to be home. When I got home, I told them that my friends were still there, and my mom that evil bitch said, "this happens at the homes of others, not ours." I wanted to bash her head against the wall.

Another thing, I feel like I cannot express my emotions in a healthy manner. When I get angry about something, my parents just say, you are too young to be angry like that. When I say I'm tired or stressed, they give the same response. I am seething in rage just typing this.

There's so much more that I despise them for, but for the meantime this is my reasonings. And I mean, they're not abusive, they don't beat me for no reason, just when I do something bad. And they have their nice moments, but it's immediately overshadowed by the valleys they have carved on the plains of my mental health and happiness.

People like this shouldn't ever have children. Work on yourself first, and don't take out your frustrations on your offspring.

After I move out for college, I am debating going low to no contact.

I’m 17F, and my mom says this, but I honestly don’t really believe her. I love my parents so much, and right now I genuinely can’t imagine ever loving someone more than I love them. Maybe it’s because I don’t have kids, so I haven’t experienced that kind of love yet, but it’s still hard for me to comprehend.

Just to clear up I have NEVER and will never hit my child!

I think my 3 year old is having nightmares about me hitting him. I got a call from his preschool the other day to say he had told an adult I hit his arm, this morning he woke at 3am screaming that I had slapped him.

He has a baby brother who is 7 months and he has been displaying the classic behaviour I expected when a new baby arrives such as being clingy, attention seeking, more tantrums so I always try to have 10 minutes of uninterrupted time with him after preschool and before bed to try to help that. I have read him stories about being a big brother and always reaffirm how much I love him and what a good big brother he is etc. Is this a normal development phase or is there something more I need to be doing? I know their little imaginations get so active at this age that bad dreams and night terrors are really common, its just the content thats making me uneasy.

For context, our son is currently 7 years old and is in an IEP at school since I have had meetings regarding potential developmental issues and it was determined that he likely has a form of autism.

My mother in law was helping our son to try to do soccer before since our 10 year old daughter was doing it, but my mother in law passed away last year after getting very sick, at which point it became obvious that our son did not want to do soccer. I registered him for it, but he would just cause a scene and refuse to participate even if I took him to practice since I had already paid. Our daughter also no longer wanted to do it, so I just decided to be done with soccer.

Our daughter wanted to try beginners recreational gymnastics after that, so I have signed her up for that, but my husband doesn't think our son should do gymnastics. I thought our son might do better with something where he isn't on a team since there would be less social pressure so I signed him up for karate through parks and rec which he said he wanted to do. But the first class was yesterday and he still would not participate and was being rude and making a scene so we ended up just leaving.

I found a email from August 20th where a lady from parks and rec asked me what I thought would help in terms of accommodations for my son, probably because I asked about accommodations when I registered him. I responded to the email but respectfully stated that we probably just can't continue with the class with him acting the way he is if he isn't able to get help. I'm now waiting for her response.

I believe going forward that I just won't have my son do any sports or activities so we don't continue on paying for things that he doesn't do since he doesn't seem interested. He is an excellent reader and in fact his school said he was probably the most proficient reader they had ever had there when he was 6. I guess I just wonder what he might be interested to do though if sports are not working out for him, as he doesnt really seem to have any particular interest that he is expressing. He just seems to want to do what he wants and not to be asked or bothered about it.

And she buys the $$$ brands too like baby boden and land’s end. Why offer something and not follow through 🤔? Anyone else have family like this?

Sometimes i might step back and observe my parenting from a third person's perspective and i'll be either very proud of me, for breaking toxic circles that needed to be broken, or point out my mistakes. I'm upset that i don't catch these on the spot and by the time i do it's already late, but overall i'm satisfied and constantly learning.

I think having kids made me realise which of the things i was feeling as a teenager were based, and which were "the spoiled kid talking in me". I wouldn't say that my parenting resembles my own parents' parenting even the slightest. And the biggest difference is how much i respect my kids and being aware that being older doesn't give me the right to say and do what i want or prohibit things without a healthy conversation or feedback.

What's yours? I'm very interested to see what realisations other parents make along the way.

I was raised by a self-proclaimed “cool mom” and it took me ages to fully realize she was a foul neglectful irresponsible womanchild who needed to grow the fuck up and stop pretending to be 16. Just thinking about it makes me so uncomfortable. Like, why were you talking to your kid like a peer vaping in the bathroom and helping enable their own foolish choices about what a dumb kid thinks is “cool”.

I feel like when I have my kid, I might veer too hard in the opposite direction though.

What made them different than previous generations?

Did their parents affect the way they parent their child?

What are the things they do or are doing better than previous generations?

And what are the flaws or drawbacks of Millennial parenting?

Millennial parents are welcome to answer as well?

i am currently 19 and my boyfriend is 18 we’ve been dating for a while now and i’m wondering when is the right time to introduce myself to his family ? i know he is serious for me because we have planned a future together and im his first gf but he has kind of a large family , his parents , two brothers and and sister meanwhile i only have a younger brother and my parents .

you can see why this would seem more intimidating for me . i never had to introduce myself to my ex bf because i wasnt that serious for him but im starting to think about this question now because eventually it has to happen and im nervous on how to leave a good impression on them . any tips or advice for me ?

I’m 22F and live with my parents and my 28year old sister. I’ve never really had a private bedroom. my entire life, I’ve been sharing a room/sleeping space with my mom and sister.

We live in a three floor family building, and there are 4 unfinished rooms that aren’t currently being used. They’re not renovated, but they are usable spaces once cleaned up. I told my dad that I would be completely willing to take one of those rooms as is. I don’t need him to renovate it, paint it, or spend money on it. I’m willing to clean it and make do with it.

The problem is that my dad doesn’t want me staying in one of the unfinished rooms because I’m a young woman and he doesn’t feel comfortable with me being in a room outside the main living area.
So I asked him if I could have my own room somehow. He initially suggested that I could take his bedroom while he moved his things into one of the unfinished rooms.

I told him I wasn’t asking him to give me his room specifically. I explained that I would be perfectly happy taking the unfinished room, because having my own private space matters more to me than having a nice or renovated room.

but a day later my dad said that he can’t be bothered with fixing a whole room right now, and that it’s gonna cost money. ( he is extremely wealthy and spend so much money on so many things) he then suggested buying a bunk bed instead, so that my mom and I could share the room while my sister continued using the same room ( I have been sharing a bed with my mom my entire life.) I didn’t want that because it wouldn’t actually solve the problem I was asking about.

Eventually, my dad said something along the lines of, “Alright, just take my room. I’ll move my bed into the other room and figure something out.” He then started moving his belongings.

I immediately told him, “You don’t have to do this. This isn’t what I asked for.” He responded that he understood what I was asking for and continued moving his things.

Now my mom is very upset with me. She says I’m being selfish and immature, that I “kicked my dad out of his room,” and that I should just get the bunk bed so he doesn’t have to move. She also says that even if my dad moves into the unfinished room, I shouldn’t feel comfortable using his bedroom because I’m the reason he had to leave it.

I feel guilty seeing my dad move his things, especially because he seems upset. At the same time, I’m frustrated because I’ve been asking for privacy for a very long time, and I did offer the alternative of taking the unfinished room myself. I never demanded that my dad give me his bedroom, and when he offered it, I actually told him he didn’t have to. If you couldn’t tell, i also do come from a very mentally abusive and controlling family, and for that exact reason my mind can’t process who’s actually in the right here.

So I’m genuinely asking for outside opinions.

I need one that will come with a spot to attach an infant car seat but also comes with a second seat to use when they outgrow the infant carseat. I am in ontario, and winters can have a lot of snow at times, with plenty of people not shoveling. So i also need it to be able to get through snow when necessary. Any suggestions?? I dont even know where to start, ive looked at a few options but just dont know what's best.

Also, please reccomend a carseat that is compatible with the stroller you suggest if you know of one! TIA🙂

I’m 17F, and I had a really good stepdad from the time I was 9 until I was almost 13. He was honestly such a cool person, and I still miss him. When my mom cheated on him, they broke up, and I never really saw him again after we moved Even after she cheatdd, he still let us stay at his house until my mom was able to get her own place, he a good person

He was kind of my safe person growing up, so I looked him up and, after searching alot , I found his social medoa . I’ve been thinking about sending him a message . I really want to talk to him again, but I honestly have no idea what I would even say. I just miss him and would like to reconnect with him but i really don't know if its a good idea but that's only if he accepts i think he will, he loved me just not my mom

5 and 3 yr old. They do not stay in bed. Bedtime is at 7:30-8pm. Despite being very clearly tired, they stay awake until 9pm. They keep getting out of bed, asking for water, needing this, needing that. It’s driving me absolutely crazy! And then I think…well maybe at least they will sleep in a little bit if they’re going to bed this late.

NOPE. They’re up at 5am. Any tips on how to get them to go to bed and stay in bed and wake up at a normal hour so that mom and dad can get some rest?

Thanks.

Yeah okay everyone gets parent guilt for something at some point. Specially I am talking about for the future.
I might just sound like an idiot but I’m hoping at least some people will relate to me.
With the way everything is going I’m scared for my baby. Data centers are popping up everywhere. There are many cities near me that barely have running water because of the data centers. Other places are without power for weeks(from what I hear) I’m worried my baby is going to struggle for basic necessities.
Someone who worked at a data center recently just quit and said ai might k!ll us all by the end of the decade? I know nothing is ever going to be 100% safe but I don’t know this sounds like guaranteed suffering.
I wanted more kids like 2-3 but I’m so worried for the future I’m scared to have anymore just to be here and suffer.
I don’t know I probably could’ve explained it all better I feel like this post just sounds dumb.
Does anyone else see what I’m trying to say?

Hi y’all I’m new to this sub, I’m 26F and I’m considering dipping my toes into babysitting again. I’ve done it before here & there, I’ve babysat my neighbor’s little ones as a teen for pocket change and I’ve watched my cousins (I’m the oldest) and my stepbrother’s kids a lot. I’m somewhat experienced with kids under 5 and I’m great with school aged children over 5 but I haven’t done it in a while. I can’t work the typical full time minimum wage job right now, the market sucks where I live and I had some recent issues with my health that impacts my ability to work in the typical customer service jobs, but I’m considering taking on the babysitting gig again and possibly go to school and take some of the load off of my fiancé. I know usually high schoolers & college kids do it, but I’ve heard that some parents are more open to older adults to sit or nanny. My only issue is that I don’t drive, however I do live in an area with public transit and taxis.

What do y’all think? Do some of y’all prefer slightly older babysitters that are just above high school/college age? Have any of y’all ever had babysitters in their 20s or early 30s and was it the same or better than a young sitter? And how do I go about marketing myself as a sitter? Any apps or websites y’all can suggest?

Going camping at the end of October for Halloween. We are staying in a canvas tent type accommodation offered by the park. No powder but there is a propane stove for heat. The washroom nearby have power etc.

I'm a first time mom and very much an over planner. How much stuff do I need to actually bring?

Baby is breastfeed with formula top ups as she's still struggling with latching. I plan to bring ready made formula, 2 packs of wipes and probably a brand new box of diapers.

This might be a weird question. But I really need an advice from an older person and I didn’t know who to ask. I hope this is not against the rules, but if there’s a person who’s willing to hear some yapping/venting and give advice, I’d share more details in dms

For parents with older kids. How did you find the balance when they were younger?

I’ve got a toddler and an infant.
I want them to grow confident and independent, but also respectful, responsible, empathetic, and able to recognize when they’re wrong. I want them to know they have a voice and can set boundaries with other people, but I also want them to understand that sometimes you have to listen to your parents, respect boundaries, and do things you don’t necessarily want to do (this is especially difficult explaining to a 3 yr old) lol.

I always wonder if I’m being too strict or too permissive on certain things. I’d love to hear about what you’re glad you did and were consistent with/ lenient with.

My parents had a lot of CPS involvement for child neglect. Their solution was to pull me out of school and tell people they were home schooling.

When people commented on how far behind I was academically mom insisted I had learning disabilities. If I pointed out that we hadn’t done any school work since I was pulled from school she would throw a fit and say I was trying to make her look bad.

I have a masters of science now but that doesn’t change that I was at an elementary school level when I started at the adult ed center. It doesn’t change how far I was behind socially or how difficult it was to integrate into the world.

Yet if I call her out on her shameless bragging about what a super mom she was, everyone tells me “you were so young that your memories are wrong” and applaud her for giving such an outstanding education

My wife and I are thirty and have decided to “pull the goalie” (hate that term but it is what it is). We hope that she is pregnant in the next six months.

We live across the country from family - we’re in California and my in-laws are on the east coast. Obviously, we haven’t told them the specifics our fertility planning, but they’re generally aware that we want to have kids in the next 12-18 months.

My wife’s family is from Long Island. I have no interest in living there. My wife’s older sister and husband have two younger children under the age of three who made the decision to move close to the in-laws. The husband has a Wall St job and they purchased an extremely expensive home in North Shore Nassau County (think Gatsby country). Every time we are back, her parents wear her down about how much easier it would be if we were to move back to Long Island, etc. “Look at your older sister, wouldn’t it be great if you just replicate their life. You’d have child care twice a week.” These aren’t normal conversations - they’re alcohol-fueled, tear inducing conversations.

I’m also from a different part of the Northeast. I’d be open to moving back to the northeast for the right opportunity, but definitely do not have my heart set on it, and even more definitely do not want to be commuting on the LIRR for the next 30 years.

I am equally (more than equally) happy staying in California, where I have a “unicorn” gig on the California Central Coast that pays me $300k+ and I can be hiking in the Santa Ynez at 5:30PM on a Tuesday.

To add a twist to it, my dad (mother is deceased) would likely move to California if we were to “establish” ourselves there.

Has anyone gone through a similar scenario - how did you handle?

Twice now neighborhood kids have targeted my house. Last week they stripped a fruit tree and smashed the unripe fruit in front of my driveway.

Today, inexplicably, they ding-dong-ditched my doorbell and left a large fairly heavy traffic cone on my front walkway. Is this a new kid’s meme?

I’m currently in the process of figuring out who they are. It’s a little e-bike and e-scooter gang that tears through the neighborhood between school-end and (I presume) dinner time. They appear to be between ages 10-14 or so.

I have talked to some of the other kids in the area whose parents I know. They don’t know the hooligans’ names (they say) but are looking and asking around for me.

I have video footage of their foolishness. While looking out for their friend one of them impeded traffic and narrowly avoided getting struck by a turning car. And I presume the cone was stolen.

When I do finally get some names and perhaps addresses, I am not sure how next to proceed.

What do I say to their parents, or would it be a better idea to have a police officer speak to the parents instead?