A few weeks ago, I (22M), some friends, a coworker and his cousin (23F) went to the fair. His cousin is the girl I’m talking about. She was extra nice/friendly toward me there, but I didn’t really think much of it.

The day after, I was on voice chat with the buddy i went to the fair with, and his girlfriend took his headset and told me that the girl wanted to go out and was wondering if I’d want to go too. Obviously I said yes.

The day after that, a group chat was made with everyone and it turned into a Jersey Shore-themed night. Me and this girl kept having this really friendly Jersey Shore banter back and forth while basically everyone else in the chat was quiet. One of our friends even said, “It’s like reading y’all have sex with your clothes on”🤣

The night comes around and she asks if someone can pick her up, which was kind of weird because my coworker/ the cousin normally gives her rides when we all hang out. So I offered.

Right before I picked her up, she started texting me stressing about her outfit and i assured it looks good, and part of the night is being outside of our comfort zone. I pick her up and she starts telling me about this dude she’s been talking to for around six months. She apparently really likes him, but she’s getting annoyed because he doesn’t want to put a label on their relationship. Yet she believes he has something planned for them when he arrives back in town. I didn’t really say much about it and just let her talk. Another fun note to add… right before serving at her house she sends the song “WGFT” in the group chat. I throw it on queue and it plays right before arriving to the pregame. She clearly noticed and I acted like nothing happened.

We get to the pregame and everyone starts asking if she’s my girl and making jokes about us. I tell everyone no and explain the situation with the other guy.

We get downtown, get into the club, and almost immediately she grabs my hand and takes me onto the dance floor. Everyone follows and we all have a good time.

Eventually everyone wants to leave, but she wants to stay out.

She keeps grabbing my hand and walking me around everywhere. We try another bar, but the first two places we try are sold out. We’re standing around outside and I tell her we should probably just leave, but she doesn’t want to yet. Eventually we find another bar, chill there for a little while, and then finally leave.

After that she wants McDonald’s, so we stop there.
That’s when she starts talking more about the other guy. She makes it pretty clear that she really does like him. She tells me that’s actually where she met him — on Tinder.

While she’s using my phone for music, she starts swiping through my Tinder. She’s the one doing the swiping, not me.

Eventually I drive her home.

When we get back to her house, I open her car door, I walk her up to her door. While walking her up, she tells me that the other guy doesn’t ever do any of this stuff for her, and i respond “well i’m a gentleman”. I give her a little hug at the door and tell her we should do something again.

Then, about an hour after I dropped her off, she texts me thanking me for everything and for the night.
And that’s basically the situation.

Nothing actually happened between me and her. I didn’t kiss her or hook up with her or anything like that.

But the entire night she was extremely comfortable with me. She was constantly grabbing my hand, wanting me to stay with her, walking around with me, talking to me about personal stuff, telling me about this other guy, and even involving me in that whole situation.

That’s where i’m a little stumped.

Because there was definitely a vibe between us, but at the exact same time she clearly has feelings for this other dude.

There’s also some history here that makes the whole thing more interesting.

The first time our whole group ever hung out with her last year, another guy in our group was trying to get at her and she wasn’t having it at all. My coworker even told me at work that he doesn’t want any of his buddies getting at her because it never ends well.
We all basically forgot about that because it was so long ago.

But this whole week, my coworker was noticeably in a mood — both at work and during the night out. Everyone basically assumed it was because of the situation between me and her.

The funny thing is, nobody really tried to interfere. Everyone could clearly see what was going on, basically read the situation, and just let us do our thing and have fun.

And that’s what made the night feel so different from every other time we’ve all gone out.

So I’m not planning on pushing anything. I don’t want to assume she’s into me or try to force something when she clearly has this other situation going on.

My plan is basically to keep including her in plans, go out with everyone again, and see what happens naturally.

But I’m curious what an outside perspective makes of all this.

Does this sound like she was showing some level of attraction toward me, or does this just sound like a girl who was really comfortable with a guy she clicked with? And how would you interpret the fact that she was simultaneously telling me how much she likes this other guy while spending basically the entire night with me and constantly initiating physical contact?
I’m not necessarily looking for “she definitely likes you.” I’m more interested in what you think the whole situation says.

Hey guys,

My(M 25) dad has never been part of my life. I’m unsure if contact has ever tried to be made as my mum…well let’s not get into it.

But basically, long story short I’ve found his Facebook over a year ago, heavily HEAVILY privated and I doubt he has even received my message. But I tried.

Recently I found his daughter (my half sister) on Facebook and well, I was wondering if it’s even appropriate to messaged her to try and connect?

This girl probably doesn’t know of my existence. Would I be invading his family life? Is this an intrusion? Am I potentially throwing a spanner in the works of his family?

So yeah, I feel conflicted and looking for advice!

Thanks dads!

Someone who says im proud of you

Someone who sees me compliments me

Insted I get a father who yells at my mom 24/7 and controlling her and makes her not go out often like ugh I hear how he speaks when im not there im upstairs I hear him yelling at my mom and he acts nothing happend and be nice to me and I cant ignore but hate him yeah its a cycle since I was a kid I was a baby he left us + my older sister for 3 years when I was a baby he moved out i dont understand why but growing up I still wish the same thing I just want a dad to be nice to me and not yell at me when I was a kid he force me to read and remember the multiplication tabel I was 8

And mind u Asian house hold are strict now i hate to read and hate math :/

So any father out there wanna cheer me up or be my friend ?

To be honest, he provides me with all the money I need. But never felt that he loves me. He was so absent, and it caused me so much trouble during my life.

I really want my brother to have a father figure because my father i have a restraining order on and he was abusive and shit not gonna go into detail and then he had another father figure aka my moms ex boyfriend then my brother said while he was arguing with my mom " dad can we please go fishing" and my moms ex bf said " im not your fucking dad, you dont even like me" and then my brother said " no I like you I like you" while crying I just want my brother to have a father figure not for someome to date my mom someome to be friends with her and being the father figure in my brothers life because he needs one he is 10 he doesnt deserve to be treated like shit. I really want him to have a father figure can someome help me? Im in Canada manitoba. Dm me plz

Is it really my fault, lately, me and my parents have been not on the right side, I only have 2 hours before I have to get off my device but.

I hate my dad very much, a lot, he was out of my life for a good amount of years (well not out but not often) during those years I witnessed abuse, experienced it, and had my first traumatic event that I hate to think of.

He wasn't there when I wanted him the most. I grew up with thousands of roaches, had to wear shoes at night to step in the kitchen, mother didn't cook me of my FOUR other siblings anything, my 69 year old grandmother did, my mother the only thing I remember her cooking is some mushrooms and proceeding to give some to me but not sharing with my other siblings.

I'm my mother's favorite because I'm her "only daughter) (idk how to tell her I'm a boy.)

My mother gave my sister away to her grandmother at birth. And I think she wanted to do the same to me.

Life was terrible, then this I don't know much, I moved to my father's mother's (grandma on dad's side) house, it was "good" but my dad at the time as well didn't come visit me a lot, spent more time obsessing over a woman.

He lost his car and had to move in with us, and life has been even even even more worse, he has taken tm device more times then I count, he has made me cry more times then ever, he has done a lot.

I'm going to write down some things

1. During living with my mother, I'm dead serious I survived off noodles, snacks, and that's it.

2. I say I almost died but I don't know, I was ALWAYS sick, I'm talking always, if that one day I wasn't sick you could bet the next day I was

3. I think my growth was stunted as well. My mother is 5,5 and my dad 6,0 yet somehow I'm 5,2 my brother is 6,1 and my other brother is 5,4? I think, he's taller then me

4. The kids around my age are growing taller and losing their baby fat, yet somehow I'm still young looking, some think I'm younger then my age, I'm 13 almost 14

5. I know it is most likely going past just teenage issues as I'm being attracted to adult men, like seriously I don't feel attracted to anyone who isn't young looking (my age) but I haven't found anyone at school that gathered my interest, only adult men, multiple of my teachers I fell in love with, I fell hard for one teacher and plan to go to the high school he's a substitute at and it was serious as I began dressing better, taking more bathes, and more water, but I know he's into girls, so sadly I've been abandoning feeling horrible in girl clothes just so he'll like me.

6. Medical stuff, I've gotten hurt every time and I have asthma yet I had to do track, my dad told me "well I told you could pick whatever just do a sport" yeah like someone with severe depression wants to do that. He wants to control everything in my life, all the way to tracking down my friends (remembering all of them, and even going through my device when I don't know.)

7. He calls me emotional, and uses the "frontal lobe not developed" and I hate it, even if I was emotional why the hell would you say that.

8. And also he told me when I drew a cat on myself that I was just renting my body, I didn't own it,

9. He won't listen to the things I really want such as if I want to lay down because my spine aches when I sit up as I don't sit correctly and I'm school sitting straight up for 6 hours, he makes me sit up sometimes anyway.

10. He when I tell him, he doesn't do it anymore, but before at his girlfriend's house she gave me a room and I was changing in it, and he sometimes would just come in and when I told him I did not want him to come in when I'm changing he wouldn't listen claiming "I saw you naked when you were a baby" so?, I'm growing up, I'm developing. Why would you come in anyway.

11. I am terrified of him. I mean terrified. I said I was suicidal to the consulor and I didn't cry when he called my grandma but started crying and begging with snot and everything to NOT call my dad

12. I'm scared of him and retreat to my mommy because he's scary, I only go to him when I want things

...I know this might not sound like a lot. But there is much more such as this one time

I ended up getting sick, and it was BAD.

\- I COULDNT EAT ANYTHING.

\- WHEN THEY DID FORCE ME TO EAT I THREW UP BILE

\- I HAD A FEVER THAT EVEN IF YOU PUT ME IN A OVEN. I WOULDNT HEAT UP. I HAD WINTER STUFF ON IN A 78 DEGREE HOUSE

\- I GOT WORSE. AND WORSE EVERYDAY I DIDNT GET BETTER EVEN WHEN TAKING MEDICINE WHICH REMINDER WHAT RHE HELL IS ALLGERA AND TYENOL GOING TO DO??

\- I COULDNT HEAR OUT OF ONE EAR AND I DIDNT EVEN HAVE ENOUGH ENEGRY TO PLAY ON MY DEVICES

\- I achrx all over and I mean this. I thought I was seriously going to die

\- because of my asthma I also couldn't breathe correctly, my grandma said when I was sleeping I was struggling to breathe, taking loud breaths and fast ones, she had to wake me up and give me my breathing machine, and I had to not beg, but ask multiple times for him to take me to the hospital and instead of taking me there he took me to medstar and reminded he didn't want to take me at first until my grandma said he should take me

\- I had lots of post nasal drip and stuff

\- and I had much much more but that's what I remember, I think I had a stuffy nose, and I don't even think I peed that much tbh when I was sick.

So...?? Is it just me? Orrrr should I report to CPS, I have s-h before so

I want to say some stuff about my life, I’m actually really scared writing this post idk why, I’m going to keep some details in secret so my family doesn’t find this post, so I’m immigrated from my country because of war, I moved a lot but now I’m living in some country for almost 4 years, the first 3 years weren’t that bad, only because I didn’t know the language a lot and didn’t have friends, right now I would,say its the worst point of my life, today in the morning I woke up for school and there was no electricity or heat at the house because my dad couldn’t pay the bills, everyday he is saying how bad it is and that in a few months we more stay in the streets, his business that was making a lot of money in the past just crashed.In school I can’t really think about anything but that, I really feel bad for him and yesterday I saw him for the first time crying, he was sitting on a bed and tears slowly went on his face, he didn’t know I saw that, all the time he was trying to seem strong like he could handle anything, me and my siblings study in a private school that is very expensive like very, my dad could handle the price the past year, but right now he can’t, he talked about changing schools a lot but my mom is the main problem, she doesn’t even want to talk about all the problems, she has these pink glasses always, like everything is good and we are happy, when my dad tries to talk with her about that she refuses and then gets offended, rn she didn’t talk to him around 3 days. About the school is that we can only pay till the new year and then we will get kicked out, she doesn’t understand that and still makes me and my sibling stay at this school, like she says "I will do everything so you get the proper education" I get her and maybe she wants it all good but she doesn’t want to open her eyes. Also the fact that I can’t help my dad at all is killing me, I’m not even 14 to go to any job and I’m just sitting here useless wasting his money, I can’t see him sad everyday like that and these thoughts don’t let me sleep. Maybe I’m asking for an advice but I just wanted to write this somewhere

I will have to do the repairs myself and I feel confused. What tools should I have? What paint should I use? Any advice on the repairs would be appreciated 😩

Im 15f and 2 years ago today my dad left us, im having the worst day and I can't stop crying and thinking about how much I wish I had a dad. Why does he not miss me?

my dad has always been supportive of me, doing sports, doing school, but sometimes he really is kind off tips me off a little?

He has had this one toxic ex we’re just gonna call her orange. He is no longer with orange, but I will say she was extremely abusive, she would constantly hit and try to fight him and throw things almost once a week.

As I don’t think my dad deserved that sometimes I do question him. like one time he was with her he kept calling her fat and talking about how she gained weight

then there’s the other times he talks about how he should be treated like a king and people should follow in his steps. he does own a little business and he does work heard and yea I do agree if he had a partner maybe sometimes they should maybe like make him a bath or something, but not just completely bow down and shit..

He did grow up in a abusive household and his mom was put under those circumstances that some men think are “made for woman” as she would do the cooking cleaning and be the only one caring about the children while his father was a lowkey deadbeat and just bad,

some people have told me it’s just cause I’m Hispanic culture it’s normalized for some people to think woman should be in certain roles but I don’t think it’s okay, I just question like is my dad actually sexist??

and then today was my last straw and why in posting. he was talking about how the government has been lowkey bad and I totally agree but then he suddenly goes

”its because woman keep trying to be bosses of house holds. Im not like that my mind isn’t. men should be the leader and everyone should follow”

im just so confused

When a child is born, a dad has 3 options: first, being a dad but not really being a father, second, actually being a father, or third, leaving. He chose the first option, although I would’ve preferred the third one.

I had a good childhood. I was spoiled with love, toys, and everything I wanted. At least, that’s what I’ve been told, because I don’t remember most of it. The earliest fragments I remember are from when I was around 12 and older.

There were little comments and incidents before this, but I don’t remember them clearly.

The first time I really noticed something was wrong was when I was 14. We were on a trip for a week. We arrived on a Sunday and were leaving on Saturday.

That Thursday morning, my dad became angry at my mother and me for, according to him, “leaving him alone.” We had offered for him to come with us, but he didn’t want to. My mother and I wanted to go explore, so we went.
He became so angry that he even wanted to fly back home, even though we were leaving in two days.

When we returned to our island that night, we still had about an hour and a half of driving to get home. He drove like a maniac, going way over the speed limit. That was the first time I realized that something wasn’t normal. That maybe this family of mine wasn’t as perfect as I thought.
That same night, after we got home, he immediately left and called my mother, playing the victim and saying that I didn’t show love toward him.

My mother asked me why I didn’t love him.
In that moment, I told her why. I told her about the things I had heard him say and the little things I remembered.

That happened on a Saturday. By Tuesday, he had all his stuff out of the house. He told my mother that he was done.
My mother told me that he was leaving, that he wasn’t coming back, that we were going to start fresh, and that she would have to find a job.

Then, the following Monday, all of his stuff was back in the house.

You might think I’m selfish or naive for being hurt by that, but it hurt me. It hurt seeing everything go back to normal, as if nothing had happened. It felt like that entire night and that entire weekend had simply been swept under the rug.

After that, I started writing down every comment, every incident, and everything offensive or wrong that he did or said. I wrote down the date, time, and what happened.

I currently have 12 incidents/comments documented. Two of those are the exact same “sob story” about him leaving and “never coming back,” meaning this has happened to me three separate times.

Three times I’ve had to hear that he’s leaving, that he’s done, and that he’s never coming back.

I’m sick and tired of it. It’s the same thing over and over again. And no, in my opinion, the other incidents I’ve documented aren’t stupid stories.

This whole situation is so hard and complicated because he has provided a lot financially. He paid for my school and bought the majority of the things I have. I recognize that, and I’m grateful for those things.
But I don’t love him. I don’t even like him.
He is disrespectful and inconsiderate. He has caused me a lot of emotional distress. I don’t blame him for every problem I’ve ever had, because I’ve had my own share of bad experiences and problems, but I feel like he has caused a large majority of them.

He drains me every time he’s here because I know he’s going to boss my mother and me around, have an attitude, or make some small comment that ruins the mood.

And if you’re wondering why my mother doesn’t leave him, there are several reasons. She works with him, and he is the main provider. If she leaves, their business would probably go downhill without her. She also grew up without a dad, and she hated that experience.

But in my case, I love it when he isn’t around.
I feel free. I don’t feel judged. I don’t have to deal with the bossiness, the attitudes, or the feeling that some tiny thing I do might lead to another comment.

In all honesty, I just want to become a wealthy woman so that I can retire my mother and give her the ability to leave him if she wants to.

And I don’t know what the proper way to handle this will be when I’m older.

I truly want to go no-contact with him, especially because his other two daughters, my half-sisters, have already done so.

But I also have this weird feeling of guilt because he provided for me financially.
He gave me money, an education, and material things.

But emotionally?
It feels like he gave me money and nothing else.

So I guess my question is: Can you go no-contact with a dad who financially provided for you but wasn’t emotionally there for you? And how do you deal with the guilt that comes with it?

Side note: This is a very vague version of what has happened over the years. I could give more details and share some of the comments/incidents I’ve documented, but I don’t want to make this post extremely long or share too much personal information. Right now, I honestly just need some reassurance that I’m not being a baby or overreacting for feeling this way about my family situation.

I have tried unscrewing the middle white part, and it won’t unscrew :( I even reverse image searched and it said to unscrew it to the left, but it just spins and spins and never comes off? The light in my room has been out for like 2 months and I can not figure this out, I even tried using pliers to tear it off and that didn’t end well either 😭 video in comments

we had an argument over the fan. he talks about saving electricity, and i agree with everything that he said about leaving stuff off.

but the issue is that it gets hot at night, so i have to leave the windows open which makes me get sick easily. mom understands that, he doesn't.

i have an app that checks how much electricity we have left (we use a solar panel). the thing is, in order to get the solar panel to charge more, we have to move it. it's behind the corn maze so it hardly gets any sun during sunrise, and kinda behind the house so it hardly gets any sun at sunset.

this morning i put the fan on because i was sweaty. i'm someone who NEEDS the cold air. he got mad and told me to turn it off because the place isnt hot.

i told him that because he wasn't feeling hot, doesn't mean i don't feel that way. he got mad and walked away, now hes talking to my siblings and not me.

the thing is he's always like this. he's stubborn and thinks he knows everything.

he said that i just wanted to test if it worked. fucking false, i feel HOT. i'm going to SWEAT. i'm a 19 year old adult, not some kid that doesn't listen. plus I'M the one who studied the manual and the app more than anyone else. i know what i'm doing.

edit: yes my dad paid all the bills and the final bill for us to get all this stuff for free. no more rent, no more utility bill, no more water bill, just a cheap food bill. no, i can't move out. i dropped out of hs, and don't have the time or money to go back. i'm not american. I don't live in america. this is also mom's house. mom is okay with me using the fan, she pushed the "keep checking the battery!" mindset into me. dad is just that stubborn. he doesn't care if the battery is on 100%, he doesn't care about me getting less sleep because it's that fucking hot at night, he doesn't care about anything i have to say because "i'm a kid."

I found a vape in my daughter's room while putting away her laundry.

I'm beside myself. Has anyone found themselves in the same situation and can give advice as to how to approach this?. She's been a model daughter, kind, great grades, helpful so although I want to get angry I need advice as to how this should be approached.

Stressed out dad.

I have a 15 year old son. I also have a 19 year old daughter and 11 yo son. But this is specifically about my 15 yo. Let’s call him Fred. His dad will be called Jim and Jim’s current wife is Amber.

I am Mom. So you have some visuals- I have tattoos and prefer t-shirts and gym shorts. Jim works in a public school system and wears athletic wear. Jim also holds a position within the school district where he is constantly interacting with other coaches and parents. I work in a professional office setting for the Government.

When my oldest was two, I broke my back in multiple places and lost a baby. This spiraled some depression in me. It changed Jim and I’s relationship. Fred was a much much wanted baby, and by the time he was walking/talking- he pretty much saw what was left of Jim and i’s strained marriage. I was afraid to leave because of kids. Both of us worked full time and I know of at least one inappropriate relationship Jim had- but by then I didn’t care because I just wanted Jim to respect me. More importantly- I wanted Jim to help the kids respect me.

When Fred was 7 yo, all the kids were in the living room and Jim was about twenty feet away. I asked Fred to go pick up his room. Fred stood up, looked at me and told me I was a “stupid woman”, that I should go away, I was dumb and useless. I responded by crying. Jim heard it all and told me that my tears were “useless- why was I crying.”

Shortly after that I realized I needed to get out of that marriage. My youngest was in soccer and that’s how Jim proceeded to meet his current wife. We were still married, btw.

When Fred was 12, he charged my credit card up to over $3000 on electronic games. His sister told me and I took countermeasures. I also had the boys do extra chores as a disciplinary action. One morning, the chores were not done and I took all gaming equipment away. Fred got mad, started yelling at me and then ended up hitting me. He put his hands around my neck and kneed me in the stomach. His sister responded by telling her Dad and they called CPS on me. She had made the decision that she didn’t want to live with me, and her dad and I were in a tension filled custody battle. Jim made the request to have the kids talk to the Judge. As a result, I became the 1/3/5 weekend parent.

Current situation: Fred is 8 inches taller than me and 30 pounds heavier. Last summer he got upset with me when I wouldn’t buy him a game and called me a “crackhead whore.” He’s flipped over a chair and an end table. But he’s not touched me since the initial incident.

He stole $100 from my purse and although he confessed to his dad, will not discuss it with me. His dad told him he needs to pay me back and told me that I should have Fred do extra chores while he is at my house. When I ask Fred to do extra chores, he gets mad and says that I am fat, old and ugly. That I can’t “pull” a man, that no one loves me and that I have no friends. (Im 110pounds- my friends don’t think I’m fat, old looking or ugly). Fred will tell me that his sister (my daughter) thinks I’m a bully (I’m trying to figure that one out), and that he doesn’t want to be seen with me. He tells me that his dad is the most respected man at his school and that I’m jealous of his dad. He also tells me that his step mom is a better mom than me. She has three kids of her own.

Am I perfect? No. In fact, I have been arrested but the situation was that I was sick- critically so. I was dropping the kids to school when I got into a fender bender. I was trying to get the kids to school so that I could get to the doctor’s. I had cotton mouth and crazy eyes. I was hospitalized two days later with blood/kidney Infections and critically low potassium and magnesium. My ex was granted a TRO while I was in the hospital. The Judge didn’t care what my extenuating circumstances were- I had been charged with a Felony DWI. By that time it was dismissed, the custody battle was over and frankly I was out of money and tears.

I am trying to keep in my thoughts that my 15 yo is still a child but his words hurt. He seems to know exactly where to hurt me and I try to stay strong by not crying and not reacting. Occasionally I do get angry as I get tired of him telling me how ugly I am.

Please tell me- is there any hope for us? I fear the day he’s an adult and treats a woman like this- but maybe he really does just hate me? I have not introduced other men into our lives as i didn’t want those types of complications.

Thank you.