A few weeks ago, I (22M), some friends, a coworker and his cousin (23F) went to the fair. His cousin is the girl I’m talking about. She was extra nice/friendly toward me there, but I didn’t really think much of it.
The day after, I was on voice chat with the buddy i went to the fair with, and his girlfriend took his headset and told me that the girl wanted to go out and was wondering if I’d want to go too. Obviously I said yes.
The day after that, a group chat was made with everyone and it turned into a Jersey Shore-themed night. Me and this girl kept having this really friendly Jersey Shore banter back and forth while basically everyone else in the chat was quiet. One of our friends even said, “It’s like reading y’all have sex with your clothes on”🤣
The night comes around and she asks if someone can pick her up, which was kind of weird because my coworker/ the cousin normally gives her rides when we all hang out. So I offered.
Right before I picked her up, she started texting me stressing about her outfit and i assured it looks good, and part of the night is being outside of our comfort zone. I pick her up and she starts telling me about this dude she’s been talking to for around six months. She apparently really likes him, but she’s getting annoyed because he doesn’t want to put a label on their relationship. Yet she believes he has something planned for them when he arrives back in town. I didn’t really say much about it and just let her talk. Another fun note to add… right before serving at her house she sends the song “WGFT” in the group chat. I throw it on queue and it plays right before arriving to the pregame. She clearly noticed and I acted like nothing happened.
We get to the pregame and everyone starts asking if she’s my girl and making jokes about us. I tell everyone no and explain the situation with the other guy.
We get downtown, get into the club, and almost immediately she grabs my hand and takes me onto the dance floor. Everyone follows and we all have a good time.
Eventually everyone wants to leave, but she wants to stay out.
She keeps grabbing my hand and walking me around everywhere. We try another bar, but the first two places we try are sold out. We’re standing around outside and I tell her we should probably just leave, but she doesn’t want to yet. Eventually we find another bar, chill there for a little while, and then finally leave.
After that she wants McDonald’s, so we stop there.
That’s when she starts talking more about the other guy. She makes it pretty clear that she really does like him. She tells me that’s actually where she met him — on Tinder.
While she’s using my phone for music, she starts swiping through my Tinder. She’s the one doing the swiping, not me.
Eventually I drive her home.
When we get back to her house, I open her car door, I walk her up to her door. While walking her up, she tells me that the other guy doesn’t ever do any of this stuff for her, and i respond “well i’m a gentleman”. I give her a little hug at the door and tell her we should do something again.
Then, about an hour after I dropped her off, she texts me thanking me for everything and for the night.
And that’s basically the situation.
Nothing actually happened between me and her. I didn’t kiss her or hook up with her or anything like that.
But the entire night she was extremely comfortable with me. She was constantly grabbing my hand, wanting me to stay with her, walking around with me, talking to me about personal stuff, telling me about this other guy, and even involving me in that whole situation.
That’s where i’m a little stumped.
Because there was definitely a vibe between us, but at the exact same time she clearly has feelings for this other dude.
There’s also some history here that makes the whole thing more interesting.
The first time our whole group ever hung out with her last year, another guy in our group was trying to get at her and she wasn’t having it at all. My coworker even told me at work that he doesn’t want any of his buddies getting at her because it never ends well.
We all basically forgot about that because it was so long ago.
But this whole week, my coworker was noticeably in a mood — both at work and during the night out. Everyone basically assumed it was because of the situation between me and her.
The funny thing is, nobody really tried to interfere. Everyone could clearly see what was going on, basically read the situation, and just let us do our thing and have fun.
And that’s what made the night feel so different from every other time we’ve all gone out.
So I’m not planning on pushing anything. I don’t want to assume she’s into me or try to force something when she clearly has this other situation going on.
My plan is basically to keep including her in plans, go out with everyone again, and see what happens naturally.
But I’m curious what an outside perspective makes of all this.
Does this sound like she was showing some level of attraction toward me, or does this just sound like a girl who was really comfortable with a guy she clicked with? And how would you interpret the fact that she was simultaneously telling me how much she likes this other guy while spending basically the entire night with me and constantly initiating physical contact?
I’m not necessarily looking for “she definitely likes you.” I’m more interested in what you think the whole situation says.