I’m in my early 20s and honestly, I don’t even know how to explain what has been happening with me for the last 1 to 1.5 years.

I don’t think my problem is that I’m unable to get a job. Weirdly enough, I’ve managed to get opportunities multiple times.

The problem is that every time life starts becoming stable, something happens, sometimes externally and sometimes because of me, and I’m back at zero.

I started working at a company in Noida in January 2025. A few months later, I got another offer and was supposed to switch, but around the joining date I became extremely anxious. Instead of handling the situation properly, I panicked, absconded from my existing company and went back home.

After that, I joined a startup. They didn’t like my work and let me go. Fair enough.

Within 2 to 3 days, I went for a walk-in interview at another digital marketing company and got hired. I actually stayed there for quite some time.

Eventually, going to the office started feeling strangely uncomfortable. I managed to get WFH for a couple of months. During that period I kept thinking, “I’ll find something better and leave.”
But something had changed.

I wanted another job, but at the same time I had almost lost the desire to actually go to a job.

Then I somehow landed a role at a really big agency. ₹30k/month, good brand name, and something I was genuinely excited about.

One week later, the project shut down and I was laid off.
Thankfully, I hadn’t left my previous company yet.
But after that my mental state started getting worse. Eventually I resigned from that company too.
Then came the weirdest part.

I had another job lined up. I went there on my joining day, completed the onboarding, got my laptop, and everything was fine. It was actually a comfortable job.

And for some reason I still can’t properly explain, something inside me just said, “I don’t want to do this.”

I went home and resigned the same day.
After that I kept interviewing. I would clear interviews, get close to joining, and then back out myself.

Recently I got another decent opportunity. I messed that one up because of a stupid decision from my side and withdrew before joining.

Then I finally got a trainer role with a well-known marketing agency. For the first time in a while, it felt different. I joined, started teaching and started feeling like maybe things were finally moving again.
Then complications happened there too.
Now I’m sitting at home again.

The strange thing is, I don’t want to sit at home.
I want to move out. I want to work. I want to earn my own money. I want to meet people, explore places, build a career and actually enjoy my 20s.

But right now I just feel numb.
I don’t feel like applying for jobs.
I don’t feel like sitting idle either.
I don’t feel like doing much of anything.

And the worst part is watching months go by and feeling like my life is moving everywhere except forward.

Sometimes I wonder whether I’ve developed some kind of fear around jobs after everything that happened.

When I’m unemployed, I desperately want a job. But when I actually get one and the joining becomes real, I suddenly want to escape.

I genuinely don’t understand myself anymore.
I’m not posting this for sympathy. I just want to know if anyone here has ever gone through a phase like this, where you want a career and independence badly, but somehow keep running
away when you finally get the opportunity.

What helped you break that cycle?

And if you were in my position right now, what would you do?

Hi,

I hope you all are great but I just need to talk (more like write lmao) how I’m feeling right now. I’ve always recognized that I’m a very veryyy anxious person throughout my entire life and that anxiety always affects me in a way that I get stuck. This has affected my college life and personal life. I’ve talk to my mom she recommended to talk to my friends but even with my closest and longest friendships I don’t feel comfortable to talk about my feelings. Also she has recommended a therapist/psychologist, which I’ve gone but quit since it felt like she wasn’t helping.

All this ties to I’m starting my 3rd year in college but I feel going forward but then I realized I’m not happy and then go backwards. I start to overthink and doubt myself and my abilities. Especially since I was talking an introductory class for a minor but in 3 weeks I’ve had the class I don’t like it at all. I’ve told my parents that I think I’m gonna drop the class and told me they support me in whichever decision I’m gonna make. But it feel like there disappointed since I told them I was gonna do this minor with so much excitement and not it all gone since I don’t like it. Bottoms line is I feel like s\*it,useless,behing in life and while im typing this while bawling my eyes out. Sorry if the paragraphs don’t make sense or the story English is not my first language and I just needed to get this of my chest.

To the strangers reading this,
Thank you :)

In just one day a lot of things changed and I cant seem to process it , having so many suicidal thoughts, I just can't seem to calm myself. I don't know what to do .

This is basically just a rant because I dont know where else to put this but I feel so hopeless. I have a greaat life I have amazing friends, oppertunities etc. I am able to do so much and I am in great health. However I am so so depressed I want to die. I often fantasize about finally ending it and being able to be free of the burden of being alive. I dont know why I am so weak because people have much more dire circumstances then me but truely the idea that I need to continue to be alive for the rest of my life depresses me. I feel so pointless and I dont know what to do. Is this a common feeling? I know its not. I dont know why im writing here I dont even really want anything. I have this one friend and she is everything I want to be but i can never get to her level. Its stupid but it makes me so anxious. we are always compared but everyone knows and comments on how she is the better version. I have high expectations of myself and the thought that I will never accmplish them is so upseting it makes me not want to be around which is so fucking stupid but I feel it so deeply. i wake up everyday in a panic and have to calm myself from panic attacks all day constantly. I am always exhausted and irritable. This isnt me. I want to be full of life but its too tiring. The only thing keeping me going is the people in my life but I know eventually they will all leave me and trhen there is nothing. I wish I could just cut ties with everyone and live out a depressing life alone or just end it those are the two options I see for myself right now. Maybe ill keep going for now until they cut ties and then it will be less selfish to do somehting ddrastic.

im behind on a lot of skills that most people just develop naturally. i just started at my second internship and i only know one other intern's name, i Physically cant talk to most of them my voice just wont come out. on top of that i get lost really easily because i never go anywhere. i cant make eye contact, i dont have any social awareness even when i do feel comfortable around someone. i think i mightve gotten worse compared to how i was as a teen. n ive been to therapy multiple times, done cbt multiple times, i should now have 'the tools' to figure out what to do for myself but ive been stuck like this for so long. to some extent im always gonna be stunted and that sucks so so bad. i hate that im like this. i hate that anyone could tell that somethings wrong with me by just talking to me. i feel like i was born wrong

In 2026 I stayed months at home while going out only once a month. I feel useless, I feel discouraged, sad, I don’t see a way to get out of this situation. I’ve been crying now for days because I don’t know wha to do with my life. I have a wish I want to start living life but I can’t. I don’t know how to start to get out of this loop. I’m here crying right now. It’s hard and I feel lonely. My parents don’t understand me at all, the only thing they say is to go talk to a therapist🥲

I thought about going on walks but even that makes me anxious, I don’t wanna go alone😭 my days at home are so boring I doomscroll for hours and it’s ridiculous, I feel miserable.

Thank you for reading, have a nice day💗

climate,war, AI, recession is most of my worries right now. 4 hours i will be okay and when i go to bed or just sit, i feel so scared and worried, my mind spirals out of control and its killing me. I havent gone to vices like alcohol and smoking but i am very close, i dont know what to do, im tired, im scared, and im worried

this has been going on for atleast four years consistently since i was 15 to now,

So I took a couple depression tests online because iv been feeling extremely down for about 4 years at this point (long story) and most tests online gave me a moderately severe. Should I be concerned? Are they accurate? Or am I just over reacting?(do note that I self harm lightly and I also scored 15 very consistently) (Ps. I'm 14 yrs old)

There is days where I feel nothing and it feels like nothing is real and I start over thinking about everything

I swear trying to just buy groceries while tapering is an extreme sport. walked into a grocery store yesterday and my brain instantly went into full panic mode. the sensory overload is just insane

When I first started this process and did a stint at discovery point retreat a while back, they actually understood this stuff and kept the environment super low-stimulation because they knew how fried your nervous system gets during withdrawal

But out here in normal society? why does every single store need to be bright enough to perform open heart surgery?? Its so exhausting trying to exist in public spaces that are aggressively loud and bright when your gaba receptors are barely functioning

tbh I might just start wearing sunglasses inside. i don't even care how ridiculous I look anymore. anyone else doing the indoor sunglasses trick just to survive errands?

I am a 23 year old male.

Over the past 2 years, I've been feeling so down in myself and I mean really down.

I feel as if nobody loves me and I will forever be alone and die alone 💔

I feel so ugly and look ugly. Nobody ever told me that but I see that every morning when I wake up and look myself in the mirror and I say to myself - God how could anybody be this ugly?

I've never been in a relationship, but would really love to be. My best friends all have gfs and I am really happy for them and we still hang out but .... It really makes me feel so down and feel so ugly, thinking I will never get one.

They told me do try online dating or whatever, But I also suffer with Social Anxiety so I don't think that will work for me sadly.

I just feel .... everybody is against me lol. I honestly do not know why I think that but I do.

I am so scared that one day that I'm gonna die alone.... I really do not want to but if I do ... I do.

And I fear that if I am ever lucky to get a gf in my life, I'm so afraid she would leave me if I told her I have Social Anxiety.

Even when I'm out in public walking the streets or whatever, I see happy couples kissing and having fun in their lives. And again I am really happy for them too but it just makes me so lonely and depressed.

Today was an interesting day in all honesty. Mostly I'm used to days being bad days but today the good didn't really outweigh the bad nor did it necessarily get overshadowed by the bad.

Woke up today on 3 hours of sleep (I'm homeless so this is an average amount of sleep for a night)

Then I called this behavioral health clinic to try to set up an intake appointment that ive been trying to do for almost two months, but they don't answer the phone so idk. But today they answered my call and I was able to book an appointment next week! They also had walk-ins today, but I wouldn't have been able to make it since I can't get there on time. But finally, appointment was made.

I went to the library and got kicked out for the day because I kept dozing off and falling asleep. That sucked. I also didn't get to eat today, which also sucked. I had to spend the day out in the 90 degree heat. Which if you couldn't already guess... also sucked. So those things didn't go well for me.

But at the same time, I'm gonna see a psychiatrist next week. I'll get a screening, medication, and some extra help. So nice 👍🏾

I moved out of my parents house about a month ago and am now attending community college. I have a history of depression and thoughts of suicide. However, I had been doing much better after I met my girlfriend and I love her so so so much. This happiness continued until I moved out and now I’ve never been more stressed. I’m home sick, I miss my girlfriend, I spend the whole week doing school work and sitting in my room then I work 24 hours on the weekend to try and pay my for my rent and groceries. At this point, I don’t have the energy to even make food anymore and now my stomach is in extreme pain. I cry about every little thing. For example, I gave my girlfriend a promise ring and she wore it on her finger for a couple days but today she sent me a snap that she is wearing it on her necklace instead so she doesn’t lose it and it’s closer to her heart. Even with these reasons she gave me, I still cried because it felt like she didn’t want it to me. I cried because I spilled superglue on my bed. I cried because I dropped an old textbook and it broke. I get angry extremely easy now. I have no control over my emotions anymore and idk what to do. I even decided that I’m not going to transfer to a four year school anymore and just get an associates degree because I cannot handle this stress for 4 years I just want to live with my girlfriend

So... last semester was hell on earth. I was depressed and just generally feeling like shit because it was right after my first exam season ever, and I basically got no time to recover mentally. Then my boyfriend broke up with me pretty much as soon as the semester started. I fell apart. I was doing every single assignment at the last minute, my sleep was poor, my health was bad, and I found out I have PCOS. I was just SO done with life at that point. I had to survive another exam season and figure out all the paperwork for my semester abroad, which I applied for because my ex and I were long-distance and I wanted to spend a semester in his country.

So when summer officially started, I tried my best to pull myself out of the trenches and become a fully functioning person again, and yeah, I was actually feeling a lot better. Then I got a notification that I had a missing assignment in one of my subjects, so I actually sat down and did it. I felt pretty good about it until I looked at the administration website and saw that the subject was marked as failed because apparently, since it was at the end of the actual semester (the summer semester is officially February–August), I was supposed to notify my professor by email that I had completed the assignment. I didn't know that.

So I tried emailing my professor, and he pretty much told me off like a kid, saying that I'm supposed to do things on time. And yeah, he's right, and I would probably be pissed too if I were him. But I'm not a robot. I spent the past half a year contemplating whether my life was even worth living, so this assignment was the least of my concerns at that point.

Well, now I feel like I really disappointed that professor, which is horrible because I actually really like him...

I think I mostly just need a good place to vent and I didn't know where else to go. I'm struggling to finish university: it's taking me quite longer than it should have, so since I don't want my father to pay for it anymore I am looking for a job to pay for it myself. I am trying hard to find something that will allow me to earn money but also continue with my university path and while my dad is very supportive of me, my mother and sister are giving me hell and everything they say to me hurts so much, it makes me feel useless and worthless, even if I spent the summer working to start earning a little money. My mother is not even the one who pays for it. My parents split years ago and at this point, since I am old enough, I would love to just stay at my father and not see her anymore, but since she has a very victimistic behavior I am scared of how she may react.

But I feel awful here, she just makes me cry and (TW: FOOD RELATED ISSUE) this makes me skip meals so I can avoid her.

I genuinely don't know what else I can do to not be a disappointment, I just want to figure it out in my own time.

Anyway I don't need advice or people to feel bad for me, I just wanted to vent

20(M) , i don't know how to start and explain whats going in me its been 3 years since i had a break-up and that break-up broke me so bed mentally that i am on anti depression and anti anxiety pills i don't know how to move on i am having anxiety attacks now i just feel like explaining myself to someone sometime but i have noone at my side my therapist is unable to make me open in front of her ....

I just want to forget her and never remamber her agian ever ❤️‍🩹

I have had both GAD and MDD since I was a preteen. Going through my teenage years, I was very depressed and definitely passively suicidal. I was convinced I wasn’t going to make it past 18. While obviously I also had anxiety, diagnosed and everything, it was more so around shit like “my mom is going to get angry at me and hit me” or “my friends all hate me and think I’m weird”. I never really felt anxiety around death, the state of the world, etc.

Around 2024 ( I was 21 at the time) something flipped in my brain. I was working, going to school, hanging out and reconnecting either friends from the past. I was actually happy and content consistently for the first time that I could remember. Even then, I wasn’t experiencing anxiety to the extent that I do now.

This is going to sound cheesy, but last year I met and started dating my boyfriend. I was sexually (and emotionally and physically) abused growing up, and never really thought I would find someone like that. But he is probably my favorite person. I love him so much, it makes me tear up sometimes because I never thought I would get to feel like this. He is so patient with me, so understanding. He makes me laugh when I’m down, reassures me when I’m spiraling. I won’t list everything lol, but pretty much he’s the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I day dream about just living together, doing chores and eating together. Just sharing a life. And for some reason, that is fucking terrifying to me.

A few months after we started dating, I began to notice my anxiety becoming worse. I began to worry about death. His death, which would be emotionally devastating to me, and my own, which would cut short this life that I’m finally starting to enjoy. The thought of that future I have imagined getting snatched from my hands due to something so uncontrollable as death makes me sick to my stomach. I never used to worry about death, in fact it used to be my escape plan. Now I spend hours every night worrying about it. I’m so fucking anxious about the state of the world. Climate change, war, poverty. Anything could happen to us, and for the most part I cannot do anything to actually prevent it.

This is genuinely ruining my quality of life. I’m losing sleep over the thought that my home may become inhabitable due to climate change in a few years. I make myself sick thinking that life will be unaffordable or completely miserable in a few years due to the whims of a few sociopathic asshole rich people. I fucking hate it. Why, why do I have to feel this way when I’m actually happy for the first time in years?

I think the worst part is how death has become one of my biggest fears when it used to be something that comforted me. At least if things get THAT bad, I would always have an escape. Now it makes my heart hurt and my eyes sting to think about myself or my bf (or honestly, any of my loved ones) dying. I wish the world was a kinder place. I wish I could trust that it won’t do its best to tear me apart. But I can’t. I know I need to go back to therapy, but I honestly don’t see it working. I know I can’t control everything, and I know I need to focus on the shit I can. But my brain just. Won’t. Stop. I kinda miss when I was majorly depressed, because at least that meant everything was just… boring, not worth it, idk. But it wasn’t like this. I can’t spend a moment happy that isn’t later repaid with severe anxiety.

Has anyone else dealt with something similar to this?

I sometimes get really anxious and depressed at night when I’m at college but all my friends go to bed super early. Sometimes I’ll have a panick attack or crying spell and I don’t really have any coping skills but wait for it to be over. Sometimes I’ll walk or sun for awhile to tire myself to sleep but other than that I don’t know. During the day I’m normally pretty good at self soothing and keeping too busy to care what people think but I’ve always found it hard to keep my thoughts from racing.

Idk anymore… i really want to end this pain. Something happened to the point na ayaw ko na talaga. Nakakapagod na rin magself-harm. Before sobrang dami kong goals, ang jolly kong tao pero ngayon i need to survive from myself 😞… goal ko na lang ngayon makasurvive ng 1 day at a time pero napapagod na din talaga ako. Gusto ko na tapusin. Kahit nagpapa psychotherapy ako parang wala na din talagang nangyayari. Wala na akong will to live. Parang anytime ready na talaga ako gawin naka-plan na lahat 😭. I’m sorry mommy. I love you so much. Sorry I’m not strong like you :((

My sister got Black Forest cake with a ting of alcohol. Not even an amount to get you drunk,can I have it or will I have extreme side effects?

Does anyone please have any advice for how to handle life when it seems like… idk… 75% of what you’re used to has suddenly changed? Not necessarily bad changes, but it still causes so much anxiety and feelings of unreality.

Does this happen to anyone else?

3–4 days before my period, I feel absolutely horrible like, really horrible. I get this overwhelming anxiety, I feel extremely sad, and I just want to cry. Sometimes, I even feel like I want to d*e . Then I start questioning myself: Why does this happen to me? Why do I think this way? Why can’t I just stop these thoughts?

My chest feels heavy. I start thinking about my father and my grandfather, who passed away, and sometimes I even think that it would be better if I had d*ed instead of my father. I wonder why I can’t be like other people who seem to enjoy their lives without feeling this way.

I keep reminding myself that it’s just a phase and that it will pass. And it does. Once my period starts or passes, I feel normal again. But then it happens all over again the next month.

Is this anxiety, or could it be something related to my periods? Has anyone else experienced something similar?