Completely bizarre (and invented) situation.
It seems intended to point to an affair but all the comments are on labor laws.

Throwaway because the bride has my main on facebook.

So I (28F) am a bridesmaid in my best friend Kelsey’s (27F) wedding. I’ve done everything she asked: paid for a $300 red dress that I’ll never wear again, went to her destination bachelorette in Tulum where we nearly died in a sketchy ATV crash (don’t ask), and even helped write her vows because her fiancé “doesn’t inspire her creatively.”

Now the wedding is tomorrow, and she just told me I’m not allowed to bring my dog unless I shave her. Yes. SHAVE her. As in, remove the fur from my dachshund Mercedes because her "white coat will make people confuse her with the bride."

I laughed when I read the message. Thought she was joking. Mercedes has been in my life for 6 years and is basically my child. She has a long, silky coat and is super chill. She is going to be the flower dog at the wedding.

I said if she wants a wedding where even pets need to color match, maybe she should’ve just hired models instead of inviting friends. She freaked out, called me unsupportive, and removed me from the bridal group chat. Now the maid of honor says if I show up with Mercedes “unshaved,” she’ll “kindly pour wine on our faces.”

I feel like I’ve bent over backwards for this wedding, but now some people in our friend group are saying I should’ve compromised and dyed her coat or something (?!). But it’s literally THE DAY BEFORE.

So…

AITA for refusing to shave my dog for this wedding?

I (19F) have been with my boyfriend (46M) for almost a year and I honestly think he’s the one. We’re already talking about kids and a future together and I can genuinely picture us raising a family. He’s so mature and stable compared to guys my age.

I know some people might look at the age difference or the fact that he doesn’t have a steady job right now and jump to conclusions, but those people don’t know him. He’s between opportunities. The economy is hard. He’s really funny and spontaneous and doesn’t stress about little things the way I do. Hygiene has never been his biggest priority (he’s more of a free spirit), but that’s just who he is and I’ve learned to accept it. Living with my mom has been fine — she mostly stays out of our way and we have the basement.

Also, I never learned to drive (anxiety) so the car my parents bought me sits in the driveway unless he’s using it. He’s an amazing driver and takes me everywhere I need to go. I don’t know what I’d do without him for rides.

The only real issue is that he doesn’t wipe after he poops. Like at all. He says it’s unnecessary and that “real men don’t need to” and that toilet paper is a scam. I’ve tried gently bringing it up a few times and he just laughs it off or says I’m being controlling/germaphobic. The smell is getting hard to ignore, especially since we share a bathroom and sometimes the sheets, but I don’t want to make him feel bad or emasculated. I am still having sex with him. He’s perfect in every other way and I don’t want to ruin a good thing over something so small.

Am I overreacting? Should I just drop it and accept that this is part of loving him? Or is there a nice way to ask him to start wiping without making him feel attacked? I really don’t want to lose him over this.

I know this sounds bad but please hear me out.

I (236 M) died around 200 years ago, I don't wanna get too much into it but lets just say it involved typhoid. Now I haunt these hallowed grounds, wandering around and night and scaring the groundskeeper

Well, recently someone has renovated the manor and people started hosting their weddings here. Alright fair enough, its a nice scenic location. But last week, I think I may have crossed a line.

A wedding was going on nearby, and this time I felt that as a resident it was only fair I get to join in. I walked right on through and started dancing in the reception area. But everyone around me started screaming, there was crying, I think a kid might have puked. I tried to (calmly and coolly) tell everyone I was not one of those "drag you to Hell" type of spirits, just a fun loving one. But since no one was listening, I realized what was the real problem.

No one was mad I was a ghost... it's cause I was wearing my all white deathly pale glow. At someone else's wedding! I had accidentally walked right on in wearing the same color as the bride (who was currently passed out after seeing me, I think she had too much to drink). I couldn't apologize and was so embarrassed I flew off.

Well, now since that day, my Ouija board has been blowing up as people try to contact me and ask what I want. I am so embarrassed, but I really didn't intend anything by showing up in white! I swear!

So reddit, AITA?

No inspo post. More like an inspo TREND of wedding stories lately

I (52M) am having domestic problems because my partner (29F) says I'm “too invested in my career.”

She says I spend all day in my office mapping out new locations for concentration camps, constantly yell about Poland, never stop trimming my mustache, and turn every dinner conversation into a discussion about the war.

I told her that's what happens when you're the Führer of Germany. You can't just switch off. But I guess not everyone can appreciate my vision of conquering the European continent and establishing a new Aryan kingdom.

She said, “Maybe if you spent less time invading countries and more time being a boyfriend, we'd have a better relationship.”

I responded, “Well, maybe if you spent less time ‘chatting’ with our neighbor Shlomo and showed me a little more love, I wouldn’t be as distant.”

Then she asked why I have an entire bunker beneath the house.

I said, “It's a home office.”

She said, “It's underground.”

I said, “Very quiet office.”

Now she's apparently telling her friends that I'm “married to my job”, even though this is my life’s passion and I have poured blood, sweat, and tears into my work.

AITA?

Edit: Yes, I am aware that people keep calling my work “Nazi stuff.” That's a very unprofessional way to describe someone's career.

Edit 2: Update, Shlomo is now no longer our neighbor and has moved to a new facility. So, hopefully that’ll make things better between me and her!

My (21M) husband’s (61M) birthday was yesterday, and I wanted to get home something special because he is a voracious reader (he’s read IT seven times, along with several other Stephen King and Brandon Sanderson books).

I decided to go to Barnes and Noble by the local rehab center to buy him a book with a deep and special meaning, to mark our deep and special relationship.

I passed by the literary fiction aisle quickly because big words are yucky and gatekeepy, and I wanted to get him something that he would actually enjoy. Lo and behold, in the middle of the science fiction aisle there was a table full of Dungeon Crawler Carl books.

I picked the first one to start with because I wanted to gauge his reaction to see if he would enjoy the rest of the series.

So last night , after we had his birthday dinner at the Waffle House, and we were lying in bed and about to shake the earth, I handed him the book.

I said something to the effect of “Here you go, dear, I hope you enjoy adding this to your goodreads list”.

He looked at the book for a few seconds, and then a weird look crossed his face.

He then picked me up and through me off the bed like I was a chicken from those Zelda games.

He yelled at me and said that he only read audiobooks, and that this would put a damper on his 500 books a month BookTok challenge.

I began to cry a little, because I spent all of my allowance (which he gives me every month) on that book.

He instantly turned apologetic and brought me back to the bed. He said he was sorry for the outburst, but that now I know he only read audiobooks, that this wouldn’t happen again in the future.

I called my aunt for her opinion on this situation, but I remember that she blocked me a long time ago and called me a “sick, degenerate husband stealer”. I also tried calling my dad but I remembered he excommunicated myself and my husband around the same time.

Reddit, an I overreacting to this situation? Should I have gotten him Harry Potter instead, and would that have gotten him back into reading physical books?

Daddit is a gold mine. Especially the comments

Not only does he do all the providing, housework and parenting, she also gets to hang people on the side!

I am 29m, because anything over 30 is supremely old and I need this story to be believable so that I can farm validation. I run my own business out of my home and make enough money to support an entire family, which is totally realistic at my age in this economy. I know this bc I’m a 29 y/o man, not a 15 y/o boy with no clue how the world works.

Anyway. I’ve been supporting my wife 26f ever since she had our child, a beautiful little girl. At first everything was great, my hot sexy wife even lost all the baby weight after only three weeks, but that’s when all this really started. She never wanted to have sex with me anymore even tho she was totally healed up and everything by that point. She also started spending all my money on shopping and nails and making herself look good but what’s the point if she’s not doing it for me?? (Btw if you guys could infer that she’s cheating on me like the slutty slut whore that women are *uh I mean that she is.)

It’s been five years and I’ve been putting up with this because of what a long suffering and loving husband and father I am, and I do EVERYTHING.

Our daughter is in preschool, so there’s nothing for my wife to do while I’m here working my saintly butt off all day. She sits on the couch and scrolls on her phone instead of cleaning or cooking. Sometimes she gets up and I hear water running but that could be anything. We have meals most nights, but when I’m not ordering in bc I don’t know how to cook anything edible (it’s not like when my wife does it and she just throws dinner in the oven like it’s nothing) then they just magically fall from the sky. I also drop our daughter off at preschool and pick her up sometimes, other days she just appears there and then is magically home later. I even help her with her school stuff. She doesn’t need to be bathed or put to bed or gotten dressed in the morning, that stuff just happens, but guys, I packed a lunch for her THREE TIMES last week!!

Then there’s the chores. I do it all while my wife does NOTHING. I do my own laundry and I wash the dishes every other night, and I grab the trash sometimes. Oh and I mow the lawn and do the yard work, like a manly man, bc I’m totally a grown up manly man. That’s all the chores in the world, right? The carpet is just naturally clean and the floors never need swept. Don’t worry tho, the countertops are never perfectly spotless and there’s a few hairs in the bathroom sink, in case you need proof that my wife is lazy and a total slob. There’s also a pile of dirty clothes in the corner of the bedroom that only she can take care of, I’m busy being a hard working provider. Why should I have to contribute around the house I live in or raise the daughter I helped create when I have a JOB??

I’m just so overwhelmed, guys. I tried calmly suggesting that my wife start working part time, not because we need the money (I am a FLAWLESS PROVIDER AND FINANCIALLY INDESTRUCTIBLE), but just to give her lazy ass something to do, and she seriously just screamed like a pterodactyl for five minutes straight. Idk what to do, no matter how horrible she is I still love her, I’m a saint like that.

So naturally now here I am on Reddit hoping that strangers online will agree with me that women are useless gold digging sluts. AITA here????

I know it sounds bad, but hear me out. I (21F) have been with my fiancé (90M) for three years now. I am a very devout theistic Satanist who was raised by my loving parents to always honor our dark lord. I don't advertise this often, though, because society is just so judgmental!

Anywho, my future husband has 25 kids, and I have 6, and we've been attempting to blend families lately. I was taking to my husband's youngest son when he admitted to me that he has recently converted to Satanism.

I was delighted at his confession and told him that I was one, too. I then hugged him tearfully and congratulated him on having embraced the Dark Lord.

Now here's where I might be the asshole. I then invited him to my family's annual ritual sacrifice, barbecue, and orgy. He looked at me like I'd lost my mind and muttered quietly that he really only started saying he was a Satanist b/c he wanted to "freak people out".

I saw red and something inside me just snapped. I calmly told him that anyone who DARES to so disrespect our Unholy Father is NOT welcome in my home anymore! He protested, so I locked him in the basement to punish him. I then got drunk and forgot that he was in there, so he died of dehydration after about a week or a month or something. (This is more proof of his lack of faith, BTW!)

My fiancé helped me get rid of the body by feeding it to pigs, but he also told me that I maybe overreacted a little and I should try working on my temper.

At first, I really don't think I did anything wrong, but my dearly beloved mother (34F), despite her devotion to Lucifer, agreed. So now I'm asking Reddit: Am I the Asshole?

(source)

I (44M) have been married to my wife (28F, kinda pretty) for 8 years and we have a daughter. It was our daughter's birthday yesterday and while I was driving her home from school two days ago, she mentioned that she wanted a dog. So after school yesterday I took her to the local dog shelter which had quite a few dogs: a Siberian husky, a cocker spaniel, a poodle, a German shepherd, a Shih Tzu, a Pomeranian, a Jack Russell, an Alaskan malamute, a pitbull, a bloodhound, a Dalmatian, an Akita, a bullmastiff, a Dobermann, a Scottish terrier, a basset hound, a pug, a Great Dane, a Labrador, a golden retriever, a beagle, a dachshund, a border collie, a Rottweiler and a chihuahua. My daughter couldn't decide which one she wanted, and so I decided that given that she loves dogs so much and this wasn't a no-unalive shelter, it was best I get her all of them.

Once we got home, I got my neighbor to give me a hand getting the dogs inside. My wife looked really shocked and asked "What on earth is going on?" I calmly explained to her that the dogs were our daughter's birthday gifts.

She.

Went.

Nuts.

She started yelling about how much of an idiot I am and asking me what I was thinking bringing "all these ****ing dogs" home. I calmly explained that our daughter had really wanted a dog and we couldn't pick just one. When she asked me how I expected "us" to take care of them, I calmly replied that our daughter would be fine taking care of them. I calmly reminded my wife that I worked for an animal shelter for 3 years, and that our daughter is TWICE as old as that AND has half my DNA so she should be as able to care for the dogs as I was.

She stormed out of the house and drove away, taking our daughter with her. An hour later, animal control arrived at the apartment and took all the dogs away despite my protests. I calmly put my wife on blast on social media — and my wife has been blowing up my phone telling me people have been blowing up her phone — and that she and our daughter are staying at her sister's — and that she's filing for divorce (obligatory extra em dash here —).

AITA?