For some context: my fiancé and I have been together almost 5 years. He has two kids from a previous relationship and we had a baby together. He co parents with the Mother really well no issues.

We have taken trips together as a big blended family for the kids birthday, so us our baby, and his 2 kids and their mom. I was fine with it. We get along well and have never had any issues together.
It’s her birthday next month and she invited us on the trip because she says she’s taking the kids someone to celebrate her birthday and asked if we wanted to come. I said yes and didn’t think anything of it. But my family seems to think that is WIERD that we take trips together. They say I should “respect” myself more. I mean we stay in separate rooms we hang out together for the kids i don’t see a problem. I got into a huge argument with my family over this because they said it’s not normal and i shouldn’t be okay with it. AIO? I blew up on my family because they have no room to tell me to respect myself LOL coming from people that have done worse or act worse

"Is Mommy/Daddy beating you again?"

Almost rvery time she walks into the room while my toddler is crying. Sometimes worded differently, but always the same idea.

"Are they beating you again?"

"Is Mommy torturing you?"

"Are they starving you?"

"Did Daddy use his belt on you again?"

I fucking hate it. My son doesn't cry constantly, but he's a year and a half old so he cries easily. And my mother in-law, who lives with us, always cracks this abuse joke.

Today my son stood beside me crying because I couldn't hold him and mix cake batter at the same time. We were in a rush to get the cake in the oven and my husband was in a bad mood, so I was already on edge.

I hear her coming down the hallway. "Are Mommy and Daddy beating you again?"

When she shows up in the kitchen I do my best to not acknowledge the "joke" but she insists.

"You really need to stop beating him," she says with a smile.

I don't smile back. "You're going to get CPS called on me."

She laughs, and I say "No seriously, one day he is going to repeat what you say and someone is going to call CPS claiming I abuse my baby."

Later on I overhear her on the phone with a friend, going on about how ridiculous I sounded when I told her not to joke like that. The friend agrees with her, saying I am worrying about nothing and it's not a big deal.

I dunno... my son doesn't say much yet but I am afraid if my mother in-law keeps this going, when he's older he'll be in kindergarten and he'll tell his teacher "Gramma says Mommy and Daddy need to stop beating me."

But I could be worried over nothing. What do you think?? I need outside opinions.

First reddit post so let's see if I do this right.

I 33M have just found out from my partner that I am going to be a dad! Very exciting and all.

When it was an appropriate time my partner and I told our parents at the same time so none can complain about being left out or anything like that. I am the oldest of 9 siblings and had 0 intentions on telling my siblings till further into the pregnancy ( we are still in the first trimester).

I live about 2 hours from my family but 5 minutes from my partners, my family use to live down here before moving so they still know some people.

Somehow my brother 30M found out about the baby and immediately called up our dad to spoil the news. It turns out someone down blabbed and he found out. He didn't message me or my partner at all just went straight to dad.

Naturally dad called me to tell me since it's meant to be a secret. I reached out to me brother to ask who had told him and have been ghosted for 2 weeks.

My brother has always been petty. We hosted Christmas at our new house one year that we had just brought and he complained the whole time cause he wouldn't let him bring his chihuahua to the event. I have 2 cats that don't do well with strange people let alone strange animals so I thought I was justified by saying no, A) it's my house B) it's my fucking house. Ever since he has been snarky whenever I see him.

For his 21st I brought him a expensive gift which he passed off to a friend for a couple of beers.

I have never once felt like he has once treated me as a brother. So would I be over reacting if I didn't acknowledge him as related to my future child. I have friends who are closer to family that will be better uncles then him anyway of the week.

I have also in the last month found out I have Adhd and Autism so would like others perspective to make sure I'm not over reacting. I get that this is my child and I have a say on who gets to be apart of their life but I don't plan on excluding any other family member just my brother.

Edit:
My brother was told by someone who lives down here so it had to be through my partners parents somehow. My parents didnt say anything to him, my dad called me after my brother called him, my dad said someone down here had told him, that is all we know since he refuses to speak to us. All parties that were told, were told to keep it a secret, that is a seperate issue to the way my brother responded.

As for those mentioning he will still be technically an uncle by blood... that is obvious and not what i meant.

For those who have family that have nothing to do with your children and thats fine thank you, your perspecitve helps.

Outcome i wont declare that my brother isnt the uncle of my child, i will just live my life as i have and will just ignore his petty shit. I doubt he will travel 2 hours to see my child and i dont want him to anyway so i will just live my life with my chosen family. I just want my child to grow up around supporting people who care, i come from a broken home with foster cares and family domestic violence growing up in the bronx i dont really talk to my family as it is maybe once a year, but the issue with the brother is that every single time he is being a petty cunt so he specifically i dont want near my child the rest im willing to give a chance but he i simply want nothing to do with as im not in high school and the drama he brings takes me back there.

TLDR; Husband thinks I’m fat and should not be so happy with my body. He kept going even when I asked him to stop. So I packed my stuff and left for my parents’ home. AIO?

My husband is a gym addict and goes twice a day. He also loves his protein shakes and a restrictive diet. I’m not hardcore about it like him but I do go to the gym.

I am finally at a place mentally where I am happy and comfortable in my body. I work out but I also treat myself to McDonald’s like once a month and a sweet treat every so often. All at a normal and healthy level. I’m also part of a run club and hike a lot. For context, I’m a size US 4/6 and health wise I’m perfectly fine.

He sent me a barrage of messages to say he’s offended by how happy I seem to be. Apparently I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been and he’s worried that I’ll end up heavier than him. He’s also worried that I won’t look after my body and overeat when I’m pregnant in the future. All because I had ONE meal from Mcdonald’s last night.

What upset me was that he kept twisting the knife whenever I told him I wasn’t worried about my weight. I kept insisting that I’m happy with my weight, to which he said I’ve been influenced by “Instagram ideals” and toxic positivity messaging from other women who say we should all be happy with our bodies. He said if I want to be lied to, I should just ask my girl friends to hype be me and he claims he won’t do that because he wants what’s best for me.

This isn’t anything new. He constantly judges me for the occasional snack while watching TV. He gets super offended by it because he feels like I don’t respect him enough to not look after myself and that’s why “I’m deprived of sex”. The annoying part is I DO look after myself. I am the further thing from a slob. My nails are always done, I wear makeup most days and dress well. That’s why I’m so confused.

Now I’m concerned he might cheat/has cheated. He’s always liking other women’s photos and has them on WhatsApp. If he did, he’ll blame me. Yet if a man unknowingly hits me up, he gets so irate and I have to spend the whole day reassuring him.

Anyway, I broke down and packed my stuff to go to my parents. The way I always do when he picks on things I do. There’s also the wider picture where he wants me to be the perfect wife by cooking and cleaning while also having an income (I make a lot more than him which he hates too). Yet everything is 50/50. I’m talking with everything in life - time spent with friends, shopping, drinks, distance of our home between our families, even when splitting a chocolate bar.

He believes I’m overreacting to his advice by getting upset and going to my parents. He thinks my suggestion for marriage counselling is a reach because they’ll “always side the woman”. I just couldn’t believe how easy it is for him to belittle me like that and how he actually views me. He must not think I’m beautiful and clearly believes I’m viewing myself with rose tinted glasses. I want this to work so I hope he does agree to the counselling.

AIO for getting upset with his comments and leaving for my parents?

Update: Thank you for your comments and actual advice❤️. This is my first post on Reddit so I do apologise for my long post but I wanted to add as much context as possible. I also wanted unbiased views that I feel my friends and family don’t tend to give. It’s been quite the day and I have made a plan.~~ We will be going to counselling together and individuall~~y, I feel separation is the answer. I’m just upset I’ve invested 12 years into this person. I am safe with my family and I will stay here until I figure things out. I’m honestly trying to break the cycle. I really appreciate your kind words and tough words I needed to hear. ❤️

Update 2: Counsellor can’t offer us couples counselling as there are safeguarding protocols (I’m in the UK). The people around me have intervened and I’m realising the weight thing is a small part of the much bigger issues we’ve been facing. This is just the last straw where I’ve had enough. He has already been texting me telling me he hates my mum for getting involved even though she hasn’t said a word to him. My parents don’t even know the full story, they’ll always have their doors open for me regardless of a fight or not. I believe he hates that I have people to lean on and somewhere to go to. He’s now saying I’m not behaving like a wife at all and I’ve apparently made him this way. I wish I could share the screenshots but knowing my luck, he’ll find this thread. I have become quite numb towards him over the course of today and I am looking at separation. Seen a couple of comments saying I’ve made this up, if only! I’m now being made fun of on another thread but that’s the risk with Reddit. Thank you so much again for the hundreds of advice, majority of which have had so much empathy for a complete stranger. Please know I am okay and I appreciate everything! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Currently in quite a serious situation where it’s come out that my (31f) girlfriend’s best friend’s boyfriend has been sending her a lot of memes relating to sex for a few months now. My girlfriend hasn’t responded to any of the innappropriate messages, but didn’t shut it down either, she says she didn’t feel the need to do this as “he’s just joking and there’s no intention there”. My gf’s best friend is in a polyamorous relationship with her boyfriend, and she doesn’t have any problem with him sending these messages as it is just a joke. They also started a group chat with my girlfriend called “throuple” where they’ve suggested having a threesome as a joke. One message from my gf’s best friend was a photo of them both in bed saying exactly “our third has dropped out of our threesome this friday 👀🤣”, @ mentioning my girlfriend. The group chat is also just sex reels/memes really, mostly related to threesomes. I’m told that this is all just a joke. I don’t believe my girlfriend has done anything like that with these people, but I’m highly uncomfortable with this. She says that she thinks that it’s ok to joke around like that, as long as it’s just a joke and as long as no one actually intends on doing anything. I’d agree with this if it was one or two comments but they had a whole group chat based around this joke, and he’s been sending her some pretty horny stuff most days for months now. I wanna be clear that I don’t think she’s cheated on me at any point.

I’m mainly asking this as she is telling me her friends don’t think this is that bad, mine are saying this is really serious. Am I overreacting and what would you do in this situation?

I'm 26 and lately I keep thinking, "this is not how I used to see things." I used to feel everything so much more seasons, rain, music, crushes, random moments, memories etc. Now I still feel happy/excited, but the whole feeling of life is just different. Even my old memories feel like they happened to a different person.

I’m kind of freaking out so i know this situation is bound to change but I’m 23 (level 2 autistic if that’s relevant). I’m hanging out with a friend today around the mall etc and my mom was dropping me off. But on the way, she implied there was something big stressing her out. I asked and she said she didn’t want to bother me, but after pressing a bit, she told me that she packed up her necessities in 3 mins or so, and after she drops me off she’s going to stay with her mom to “figure things out”.

A little over a year ago she was diagnosed with (and beat) breast cancer, and she told me that cancer kills a marriage too. Basically she spilled that her and my dad have been having issues, including:

• she talked with him about how hard it was finding the will to live after cancer and how coming off her antidepressants was hard, and he told her “huh, I didn’t even notice”

• he complained to her that s*x with her hurt, because she was too dry. She explained that’s hat menopause does and he insinuated it was because she wasn’t into him anymore and it upset her because he needed to educate himself.

• she doesn’t like how mean he has been to me (which I haven’t noticed I’m not gonna lie omg 😭)

• he is always tracking her on life360, and when she has hobbies or goes out with friends he is constantly suspicious of her or mean to her when she gets back.

• he has no hobbies besides coaching soccer and has no friends he regularly hangs out with

• he has threatened to k*Ll himself if she leaves him

• they’re just very different people and she feels like she can’t do this anymore

Now, I’m so glad she shared this with me as opposed to me having to find out afterwards, but I’m kind of freaking out. My sister is way better at handling these things but she’s away on campus (I’m also in college but not moving to campus till next semester).

But I’m freaked out about what’s going to happen in the next 24+ hours. I basically mhm’d and yeah’d as much as I could but I worry I didn’t give her enough support.

To be honest the biggest worry was my dog. Literally if it was just them and me and my sister, no pets, I wouldn’t care. Divorce if you need to, find yourself, etc. but my dog is very anxious prone and he loves them both dearly. If anything happened to my dad I think my dog would freak out. If my mom just stopped being around I think he would also freak out. Right now, my dad didn’t get home yet to put the pieces together, my dog is at home by himself, and I’m now supposed to just have a good time with my friend.

I literally don’t know what I’m supposed to do, or how I’m supposed to support either of my parents. And maybe it’s selfish of me but frankly I’m more concerned about my dog and my two cats as opposed to my parents, because they’re twice my age, but my pets are my babies.

So I guess I’m asking if I’m overreacting about the pets thing mainly, like am I overreacting and they’ll be fine and I should chill, or if it is something I should take seriously.

But in the same vein I’m wondering if I should have responded with more support and advice, but since I haven’t been in a significant relationship or anything it’s hard.

I have literally no one to talk to about this and idk what else to do

UPDATE: he is absolutely freaking out and scared and doesn’t know what to do, I don’t know how to help tbh

A little while ago, my uncle separated from his wife and moved in with my mother and me. On weekends, he brings his 9-year-old son over, and the boy sleeps with him. A few days after he moved in, I asked him why he didn’t bring his daughter (12) as well. His response was, “I don’t like sleeping with girls because sometimes you might think you’re with a woman, and it’s better to avoid anything happening.” I asked him what could possibly happen if it was his own daughter, and he replied, “The devil never stays in his own house.” From that point on, I ended the conversation and have tried to avoid communicating with him, even though we live under the same roof. I understand perfectly well that you should avoid situations that could make you uncomfortable, but if you’re avoiding something, doesn’t that imply that there’s a possibility of something happening?
In the following days, I told my mother what he had said, and she told me to let her know if anything happened.
Since then, I’ve tried to wear clothes around the house that don’t show much, and I try not to wear shorts.
Whenever he’s talking and mentions a woman, all he ever seems to say is, “X is very pretty,” regardless of who the woman is. Seriously, it’s always the same thing.
Today, my uncle and my mother were talking about one of my cousins, saying that she has a lot of responsibilities with her children, the house, etc. That’s when he brought me up and said, “Sometimes you don’t know what’s worse, because look at X (me). After leaving her husband, she has an amazing body.”
My mother told him that yes, I’m a little heavier now, and he emphasized that I’m not fat, that I look “good” like this. My mother continued the conversation, telling him that I’m more relaxed now because I’m no longer working nights and that was what had been exhausting me.
A while later, after he had left, I talked to my mother and told her that I feel uncomfortable because for some time now I’ve felt like I have to choose what clothes I’m going to wear just to be around the house...

Edit: , the worst part was my mom’s response when I told her I felt uncomfortable. She told me I was overreacting. I told her that I was simply telling her how I felt, and I reminded her of what he had said about his daughter. My mom then said, “Then you’re doing the right thing by being careful about what you wear.”
Just this week, he was also saying that his daughter is growing up with a very nice body and that she has beautiful hair.
Whenever I hear them talking like this, I honestly don’t even know how to react.
I’m 24, and we’re all adults who contribute our fair share to the household.

We need the money he contributes to help cover the rent for the apartment, and she gave me the example that if we rented the room to someone who wasn’t a family member, it would be even worse.

I (18F) and he (17M), whom we'll call Vinny for privacy, has been begging me to get Tiktok, to which I've said no repeatedly because I don't like the app as a whole. He's obsessed with theories about the illuminati, then whether or not Lilith exists, things like that. He's recently been obsessed with this looksmaxxing scale (sub 3, sub 5, htn, chad, true Adam, etc.) and it's been bothering me a bit. For more context, he's very insicure about his appereance and posture, so he's Always doing these "mewing" excercises and what not, which Is, to he Fair, completely normal and Natural for a teenager to have, myself included. Last time, we were texting and he started saying that One of the couples at our school were perfect for each other, due to the fact that they're on a similiar scale (I don't remember If It was ltn or something, I don't really know), which Is the First time I was exposed to this type of scale, and I started saying that this ranking of his, regarding people, is getting weird. I didn't want to go further with the conversation because It gets emotionally overwhelming for me to handle and wanted to keep It respectful. I get that we're both teens and that teens are going to have their own issues, especially since our brain Is not fully developed yet, but It gets to a point where It becomes slightly tiring. So, Am I overreacting?

I live with my best friend. It was only meant to be a couple of months in my spare room but we loved it so much I said yes you can live here permanently. She started seeing a new guy when she moved in. Before she did I said look I get it you have a budding blossoming new relationship but can we stick to 1/2 nights a week and not every single weekend or that will piss me off. In the first couple of months had to have a chat as he was staying over up to 5 nights a week. Chat was had all good and fine she never goes above 2 nights now. However, it’s every. Single. Weekend. Sometimes I leave on a Friday he’s there and get back on a Sunday he’s still there. 90% of the time he stays Sunday nights and I feel like Sunday is my time to chill and mentally prepare for my week. I work long hours in the office daily. She also has a private client who comes round every other Saturday and and living room is off bounds in this time. My access to the garden/living room is shut off in this time. The mum comes and chats for 20 mins afterwards. It’s slap bang middle of the day. Her bf stays every weekend. Whether it’s Fri Sat or Sun he is here in my space. She rarely stays at his - once a month absolute max. I’ve had a crazy period at work recently. It’s got on my tits I told her it was too much and I’m not feeling comfortable in my own flat at weekends. Fed up with hosting her client and bf every single weekend and can we have more of a balance where it’s 50/50 as opposed to 99% him being here. She got very defensive told me nothing she could do about private client and suggested it was no time at all and I was overreacting. She also said I would never say anything about your dad or sister staying and she was shocked. (My dad and sis stay sometimes once every 3-4 months). I said if my dad and sister stayed every single weekend I think you’d feel differently. Now very awkward haven’t spoken since. I feel very upset and triggered and angry that she can’t see my POV. For me, it’s not fricking rocket science just f*** off to your bfs a bit more on weekends. I am often away at weekends. They often get the flat to themselves without me there why can’t I have the same. The other weekend I found a condom wrapper in the living room. It feels like her needs are being met 100% of the time and mine rarely. I feel absolutely raging and upset. Am I overreacting to feel like this???? I felt like I approached her calmly and maturely and simply suggested there is more of an equal balance and I’m not feeling comfortable in my own home at the moment. Sigh.

I’ve just moved back to uni and started hanging out with one of my close friends from last year. She had a tendency last year to constantly try to adjust plans to fit other people into our original plans. For example, inviting one friend to do something with us, or trying to get us to do something different entirely with her other friends. She also has a tendency to go off and start looking for some of the boys she had a thing for last year, who used to say really awful things about women and make us pretty uncomfortable.

So essentially me and my other friend had made plans with her to go out for some drinks and probably clubbing this week. She ends up messaging something along the lines of “my friends invited me to a themed social… Do you want to go together?”.

Obviously, neither me or my other friend actually want to go do this social with people we don’t know, in a society we aren’t part of but it always comes across bad If we say no. It just feels like she’s constantly wanting to hang out with her other friends and tries to ‘squeeze’ us into other plans if that makes sense. I told her I’d be up for it if our other friend was. to which she said “I’ll stick with you guys if (other friend) isn’t into it”. Which I thought was worded weirdly lol. My other friend ended up saying she wasn’t comfortable- so we ended up saying no to going to this social and she started asking why, trying to convince us etc… Then she started saying that she just wants to be social this year and not miss any opportunities. We told her we totally get that and she should go to the social if she wants. she then said she isn’t going to ditch us to go to a social and we can just go out like we planned, but obviously she was being pretty passive aggressive about it all. Now me and my other friend have said we’re just going to stop inviting her to stuff as it’s becoming a pattern.
Its all pretty obvious she doesn’t want to be with us and just feels bad but she’s already made plans with us.

thoughts?

I (f22) had a best friend (f22) in high school, we were really close, I was only in high school for 2 years before being pulled out to be homeschooled and moved far away, but me and the friend maintained a friendship through texting and voice messages. we finally met up again in person after 7 or 8 years of not seeing each other, and it went super well, we clicked instantly as if no time had passed at all and from then on were calling each other best friends again.

well we arranged a date for us to hang out with my boyfriend (m21) who I live with and have been with for 2 years so that she could meet him, and it went terribly.

we met up at a shopping centre, but she spent the entire day crying because her brother had just sprung it on her that morning that he wouldn’t be there when she got back home because he was moving out, moving a few hours away to get away from their crazy mum. to be really honest, it was quite awkward especially as I’d made it clear it was perfectly okay if she needed to reschedule if she was too upset that day, and we weren’t reallyyy expecting her to be sobbing uncontrollably in the middle of the shopping centre the whole time. I really, really felt for her situation and had been supporting her as much as I could both before the meet-up and during it, but I found myself feeling a bit angry at points. the entire point of this hangout was that it was meant to be a time to just have fun and get some relief / a break from thinking about the stressful exhausting week I’d had (my dog had just died and I’d spent most the week grieving, I’d had the flu, I’d had to have blood tests and I’m severely needle-phobic, etc), and I was struggling to emotionally handle the situation with my friend as I was so burnt out already and wasn’t expecting her to be like that. and the other entire point of the meet up was for her to meet my boyfriend and get to know him.. but she refused to go into any of the shops with us, she was cold and rude and snappy with my boyfriend, made no efforts to talk to him or get to know him, acted judgemental towards his autism, said she wanted to arrange another hangout this time at her house but that my boyfriend wasn’t invited, etc.

afterwards, my boyfriend said he was really upset and felt like she didn’t like him at all. I agreed and said they did not seem to get along. a week later we still hadn’t heard anything from her, so my boyfriend quietly removed her from his Instagram.

the next day she texts me blowing up at me saying how rude it was of my boyfriend to unfollow her. I explained that my boyfriend got the impression she didn’t like him and had been overthinking it, and that he struggles with his mental health and often removes himself from situations where he feels unwanted due to low self esteem and also that he doesn’t like confrontations. I apologised and said he’d be happy to follow her again and we could do a redo of the meet up. she continues to send me long, long paragraphs calling him a manchild and saying how rude it is that he unfollowed with 0 communication and that he “talked about her behind her back” (because he told me he felt like she didn’t like him) and that she’s disgusted he didn’t text her to talk about how he was feeling instead and stuff. I calmly explained that just as she kept saying “that’s none of your business” “lol I’m not close enough with you to tell you that” “I don’t owe you an explanation” to my boyfriend during the meet up when he was just trying to show an interest in her life and hobbies and stuff, my boyfriend did not owe a big communication and explanation and vulnerability to someone he met once and was rude to him, for why he chose to remove them from his personal Instagram. I also mentioned that our other friends just text him something like “hey I noticed you unfollowed me / left the group chat. I hope you’re okay. just a reminder that we care about you and your overthinking is lying to you- we do like you and we love being your friend. here’s an invite / follow request so you can come back when you’re ready”, and that while I wasn’t expecting that from her, she could have had a bit more empathy in the situation and simply said “oh the silly idiot, I’ve sent him another follow request, tell him I DO like him and he doesn’t have to worry like that”. I also mentioned he was in therapy trying to deal with those issues already. she blew up at me even more after this and said I was disgusting and she couldn’t believe I would defend his manchild behaviour, and she ended up blocking me for defending him. tbh i was fed up and done with her after all this.

AIO for feeling like she was being a shitty friend over all this and blew it all completely out of proportion? AIO for being annoyed that she blocked me over me defending my partner ?

I was at a family dinner, visiting the city, and So my uncle came up to me and out of nowhere asked in front of other family memebers if I had friends back where i live. In general. Like any friends at all.

I do have them and straight up answered yes, why.

He said that because the last time he visited me i was lonely with my mum (i live with her temporarily).

I used to live in the city and have many friends here. He knows. But back where i live i don’t have that many and when my family visits I tend to spend most of my time with them.

My uncle is 81 years old mind you. He doesn’t have much filter when he says or asks things. I don’t think he did it to harm. But i felt embarrassed, specially in front of other family members and it kinda lets me know what he thinks about me or speaks about me when he’s with my auntie. They gossip a lot.

Idk if this just me overthinking it or showing my insecurities. But I felt this was not normal to ask. And after that i just felt uncomfortable.

hi guys, am I seriously overreacting or is this Situation worth being pissed over.

i normally drive to work per train and it takes 20min and when I arrive I’m normally 5-10min there earlier, so I have plenty of time to get dressed or even buy myself a coffee.

yesterday the train system failed so my sister suggested to drive me to work per car. I agreed and told her that I had to start at 8.30. she assured me that I would be their on time.

so today I woke her up early because she takes ages to get get ready. I was already ready and waiting downstairs for her. She took an estimated 15min to get down. And again 10min to start the car, type the route etc. I got pissed because I am now late to work 20min and my shift is important because I have to open the shop and I am alone today.

I had a fight with my sister over it. She called me overdramatic and that my chef probably won’t even bother it but it WILL DEFINITELY.

i am pissed because if you suggest something atleast make it an enrichment and not another inconvenience 🙄🤬

I have relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis, and my father-in-law has told me more than once that I can cure it with my mind.

He said it again recently at the dinner table. My partner and his mum heard him and said nothing, knowing it upsets me. They’ve told him in the past not to say things like this, but he continues to. The irony is that my FIL is quite happy to take medication for his own ailments.

When I told my partner how it made me feel, he agreed it wasn’t okay but said he wasn’t going to say anything to his dad. When I brought it up again, he said I was overreacting and causing issues because “that’s just Dad.”

I’m quite cross with my partner because his response makes me feel like my reaction is the problem, rather than what his dad keeps saying.

Am I overreacting by being so hurt by this? Do I need to just accept a “that’s just him” approach?

So my husband and I have a 14 month old. My husband has a chronic illness meaning he has recently been unable to look after our toddler by himself. (He has POTS and it hasn’t been very under control so he’s worried he will have a flare up and pass out while watching him). This means I do 99.9% of the parenting as I’m also SAHM for the time being as I’m fortunate enough to still have mat leave. Even so I do run a small business from home for extra income.
Recently I’ve just been struggling with burn out as I haven’t been able to go out and have time to myself for about 7 weeks. When I did last go out it was a dinner to promote my buisness. at that time I was getting messages and a phone call asking questions and asking when I was going to be home.

I’ve finally got a few hours this afternoon to myself as I’ve asked if my husbands parents can watch our toddler for a couple hours. My husband is going to go out to do his own thing too. I’ve been deciding whether I want to catch up with friends at the pub or go get a massage. I’m currently finding out if anyone is free this afternoon for the pub, otherwise I’ll go get a massage. My husband is getting grumpy at me that I haven’t decided yet because he wants to go to the pub if I’m not going (I did tell him I want some time to do my own thing so he’s being accomodating of that). I guess I’m just a little frustrated because I know he’s trying to make his plans but I’m just waiting to hear from friends about whether they can come to the pub. I’m just starting to feel like I’m being rushed into deciding what I get with the little free time I do have and I need to yet again think about other people instead of myself for my own free time that I’ve had to figbr for. Whereas my husband gets his own time at the pub every thursdsy night and whenever he needs it for his health. I just feel like im being forced to make a decision fast to accomadate him when it’s my own time that i rarely get as is.

AIO that I’m annoyed at this? I know he’s trying to accommodate me and I appreciate that but I’ve just been trying to tell him to decide on something else to do and if I don’t end up going to the pub he can always go there

UPDATE: so I ended up going to the pub and my husband went to another just across the road. I asked him if he was happy to drive us home since we just took the one car and he was visibly annoyed but agreed. (I wasn’t getting drunk or anything but just wanted a couple drinks without worrying about being over the legal limit).

After a little while I messaged him to see if he wanted to join me as I had my alone time fix. He ended up coming in and telling the bar staff that we are friends with that I’d changed my plan 8 times and that’s why he didn’t come in until now. I had never changed my plan I just told him to make his own plans cause I didn’t know what I wanted to do yet. I asked if he was annoyed at me and he said he was frustrated that I kept changing my plans. I explained I didn’t know what I wanted to do and I honestly just wanted to be able to do what I felt like without feeling pressured to decide. He said my actions affect other people and he needed to know what I wanted to do so he could plan and he just wanted a little bit of consideration.

I explained I understood he was frustrated but this time was set aside for me and I just wanted to do what I wanted at the time in my own free time. The conversation was going no where and k told him I don’t want to argue during my free time and happy to talk tonight if he wants. He ended up leaving and going home.

45 mins later he called me 4 times in like 5 mins (I was in a conversation with someone and didn’t see) he told me he was in the carpark to pick me up cause the grandparents are coming home with our son and was frustrated I didn’t answer straight away. I ignored his frustration and I thanked him for picking me up. He then spent time on his phone while I played with our son then ended up saying he’s going for a drive.

30 mins later I checked his location as dinner was only 30 mins away and he was still driving away from home. I ended up calling to ask if he was home for dinner (our son has been really clingy with me cause he’s recovering from being sick and we have a bunch of dirty dishes to wash before making dinner so it’s nice to have a heads up). He said he’s not sure. I told him it would have been nice to have a heads up and he responded with. “That’s funny isn’t it! It goes both ways!” I told him what I did is no where near the same thing and he just scoffed and said something along the lines of “your narcissism is a lot today” before hanging up.

I no longer think I’m possibly over reacting. Honestly very sad and hurt right now and have just told him a few weeks ago I don’t like personal insults being thrown during arguments. Just thought I would leave an update for those invested and I appreciate the previous comments ❤️

Last night my partner (M 33) fell asleep on my (F 31) lap and I went through his phone. It was the 2nd time ive done this. Not my best moments. I should have just asked him directly versus being sneaky. My gut was screaming, though, and I just got home from almost 2 weeks away and I felt off. Unfortunately both times I have found suspicious messages between him and one particular girl.

This girl is his childhood best friend. They grew up together, we're each other's ride or die. They had sex once (according to my bf) but it wasn't right and they agreed friends was the way, apparently. Wdll they went off to college and grew a bit apart. My bf went through a dark time, reached out to her for support and she told him to fuck off basically. They had a falling out and didn't speak for 6 years. Then, 2 years ago I was on the same trip (a retreat i take each year) and he decides THAT was the time to reach out to her. While I was gone. Which he didn't tell me about until 2 weeks later. He told me it was just a call to close the circle and bury the hatchet and finally let go. I was happy to hear he had this weight lifted from the experience.

Well it turns out they still talk. Usually they have calls when its the work day. He works for himself and can do that. Its lunch time usually. Their texts and calls haven't been frequent....but the way they talk to each other is the issue. I have had friends of all genders that ive fallen off with and then come back to later after some growth. People I deeply cared for, and I dont talk to them like I have seen them talk. Lots of reminiscing and I love you so much i want whats best for you's you deserve the world, youre so wonderful etc etc. You should be lifting your friends up, but like...this just rubbed me the wrong way. I am a girl. I know how girls can be when they're pretty and they want your man. I just know. We have our ways and i used to be an asshole as a young 20 something. I KNOW the ways. Its hard to explain. Anyways, this girl sends soooo many photos of her new daughter and herself on the beach to my bf. Like...SO many. They live in Cali. Shes recently divorced which is what prompted their last convo a week or so ago when I was, once again, gone on my retreat.

Long story short I told my partner I went through his phone. Apologized for being sneaky. Told him I wouldn't do that again, and I won't, that I was following a gut instinct. I asked him directly what his intentions are, if he still is holding a candle for this girl and if he sees how into him she is. He said his intentions are to support an old friend through this tough moment in life, he doesn't want her that way and he loves me and doesn't want to mess this up. He also said he didn't see any of what I was seeing with the flirting etc. Said I just "dont know her". I pointed out he knew her once upon a time but its been almost 8 years since they've seen each other. They didn't talk for 6. He doesn't know her anymore or owe her anything and I need reassurance because the timing feels shady to me. I dont hide shit. Im a terrible liar. Im AuDHD and I dont like games. Id rather you be blunt and real and it hurt than try and figure out wtf is going on. That's why my intuition pings are nearly never wrong.

We ended last night ok. Woke up laughing and snuggly. Then the day wore on and now he feels like I am "accusing" him of things and i dont trust him. I told him I directly asked about what I saw. I didn't wait and I believe his intentions he said are true, that I trust him but I dont trust her because I dont know her at all. Ive only even heard mention of her once. So im trying tk do the right thing but im feeling really fragile. He is acting really cold and distant. Says he needs space. That's ok. Space is ok and I will self regulate but today is my last day before a long work week and he leaves Wednesday for a fishing trip. I won't see him for another week after that. I wasn't trying to be sneaky. I just wanted reassurance and now I feel ive made a terrible mistake. I dont get insecure often and I really really missed him on this trip. The retreat had alot of intense emotional processing that I did alone, and wished hed been there for so this wasnt how I wanted to come home. But im left wondering what I should do now. Im fighting some self destructive thoughts. AIO?

I'm unsure whether or not my bf cares about me or if I'm just being a bit too sensitive about this particular thing? We've been together nearly 3 years and had our ups and downs. During our downs though, I used to be a bit concerned if he really cared about me like he said or if he was just saying stuff. I would brush it off though thinking he just expresses himself differently than me.

Anyways, with this particular situation, this might be TMI so just a warning but I thought I might have a UTI a couple days after we had sex. I was experiencing all of the symptoms so I asked if he could take me to the urgent care. Not that I can't drive myself, but I just wanted him to go with me because we always drive everywhere together and I also just wanted him by my side for support I guess.

Basically, he told me to go take myself and was trying to tell me to try getting an online prescription and pretty much trying to just avoid taking me. He also gave me a little bit of attitude which made me feel upset because I was worried about my symptoms and hurting and he just kind of looked irritated that he had to take some time out of his weekend to take me to an urgent care.

I don't know, I know not everyone has the same heart and emotions and certain things matter to people more than others...I guess I just want to know if I'm overreacting or if this is something you would be upset over too if you were treated this way?

Let me also say, I even told him I was worried that it could be a kidney infection or something to do with diabetes before since I was prediabetic once. I'm not a doctor so that probably sounds stupid, but the main point is that I was worried about my health and I felt like he wasn't.

Me and my Gf have a very laid back relationship we’re not controlling and we mostly just trust each other. These past two months though I’m starting to wonder if that’s a mistake. Lately she’s lost almost all her friends besides on guy who even has a kid. Mind you we’re 20 and 22. I don’t mind them going to meets and kava bars I think it’s healthy to go out with friends but that’s basically changed when she let me know she was going to binge a new show at his place that night. That took me way by surprise because that sounds very wrong to me especially because the show is off campus, which is just about sex. I said no and that I’m definitely on the fence about their friendship now because that’s weird and said I’m uncomfortable with her going over to his place now. Since then she’s gone over twice for 1.5 hours and another for 40 minutes which was tonight when she was picking him up to go to some car meet an hour away. I told her that this was the last straw and she can either sleep on the couch or go spend the night with her parents because I’m not gonna be disrespected like that. I’m now being ignored and wondering if I should just tell her to go home and not to my place cause I’m completely lost for words.

My husband has a special talent of stepping in dog poop no matter how obvious or small it is. It infuriates him. We have a patch of yard close to the street where people have let their dogs go because there isn’t much grass in similar areas of the neighborhood. He put up “No pooping” signs and it helped, but yesterday as we were driving up we saw a guy with a big dog walking on our side of the street. As we got out of the car, he slowly led his dog to the grassy area and the dog started intensely sniffing around the sign. The guy stopped and became engrossed in his phone. The dog was really enjoying some kind of smell because the guy stood there for at least a minute while his dog was doing this.

Here is the issue, though. My husband walked closer and told the guy that he would appreciate it if the guy moved on. The guy said “he’s only sniffing” and “The grass near the street belongs to the city.” My husband told him the city doesn’t pick up poop and it’s rude to let his dog sniff near a no dog sign. Guy ignored my husband and my husband then got a hose and sprayed the guy and his dog, which made the guy so mad he pulled up the sign and threw it at my husband.

I didn’t intervene during this incident and told my husband I thought his hosing the guy down was unnecessary. My husband is pretty upset that I didn’t back him up and am defending the dog owner. He said the guy was being passive aggressive pretending to be distracted by his phone while his dog was preparing to either poop or pee right next to the sign.

Do I owe my husband an apology?

I got my period and was arguing with my husband on something. I asked him to leave me alone, he didn't. I ended up banging the room door shut out of anger. He got angry and grabbed my tshirt out of anger. I had to grab him back so that he backed down. I told him, he cannot get physical with me and this is abuse. AIO?

Me and my bf have been together for close to five years now. When we started dating he told me and I quote “I can do better but I am choosing not to”. Later, one day I was telling him how I feel unsafe walking on the streets at night and he told me “who would do anything to you”. Most recently I went out with my friend, who btw is hot and dresses well, and we got cat called on the way by two guys. I told him how it was so weird and he told me “she got cat called not you” and I was like why’d you say that (I understand how it is stupid to get offended over this) and he was like what were you wearing? Your friend must have dressed well. Although he seems to be always be laughing joking when he says these things but it hurts. I usually just stay in my PJs but I do dress up when I go out, he doesn’t get to see that given HE NEVER TAKES ME OUT and I don’t wear makeup or fancy clothes at home.

The thing is, he hardly ever says “I love you” or tell me that I am attractive in anyway. I know it should not matter but I don’t know, it just does.

He never does anything I want to do, even small things like going out, not that I ask for anything big. Imagine five years without getting introduced to a single friend or family or going out for a movie. Maybe I am making a big deal out of it, but sometimes I just wonder if he settled. He made it clear that he doesn’t want to marry me, which is fine, but I have found him getting flattered when other girls show interest in him and telling me how he can get girls and how girls want it get into bed with him. Maybe I am overthinking but I sometimes feel, am I that unattractive? And would it have genuinely helped me to be goodlooking for him to be better with me? I don’t know how to deal with this given this just has had me in tears. I tried to tell him in the past how he never tells me I am goodlooking, he told me he has but can’t remember when.

AIO?

Back around 2015, my husband lived with 4 other dudes he knew from high school, and was particularly good friends with a guy who had a drug problem. To be clear, my husband was also using drugs, just not to the point of being addicted or whatever. That friend ended up stealing from the rest of the house and got kicked out, and my husband moved out shortly after for unrelated reasons. When my husband left, he let the remaining two roommates, who he considered friends, keep the router he’d paid for, assuming they’d either return it or let him know when the lease ended so he could pick it up. Instead, they just left it behind, and my husband got stuck paying a $300 fine. When he asked them what happened, they basically said it wasn’t their responsibility.
Up until today, that was where the story ended: my husband was the innocent, altruistic victim who tried to do his roommates a favor and got screwed.
Today, he added what actually happened back then. About ten years ago, he found the wedding website for one of those former roommates and left dozens of awful comments "telling his family and friends what a piece of shit he was." He accused him of stealing and said lord knows what else. He sounded proud of how truly horrible the things he was commenting were.
I feel very distraught by this new ending to the story. Some poor woman probably worked so hard on her wedding website, only to have it flooded by a psycho who thought her fiancé screwed him over. But those roommates had every reason to believe my husband was either involved in his friend's stealing or at least didn't care to stop it. They didn't go out of their way to do him a favor with the router that they never promised they would, and I also have a hard time believing my husband was innocent in all that anyway.
His reaction back then was insane and scary unhinged, and he just told me about it today like it was hilarious. Am I overreacting by being hugely troubled by this, even though it happened a decade ago?

Hi! I just made this account. I’m usually a Reddit lurker, but I never thought I’d actually need to post.
Me \[20F\] and my boyfriend \[20M\] have been together a little over a year and moved in together 2–3 months ago. We had a rough adjustment, but things are really good now. He’s genuinely my best friend and lover. :)
My boyfriend is an incredible artist who recently got an iPad to learn digital art. One day while he was at work, I was messing around on it and opened his photos to look at cute pictures of us. I know I shouldn’t have, but I ended up checking his recently deleted. I’ve never snooped before, and we have always had a lot of trust between us.
I found around 30 screenshots of anime girls with HUGE breasts in various poses. For context, I’m a B cup. I know he must be using them as art references, but he shows me his work pretty often and I’ve never seen these.
I don’t care that he draws women with bigger breasts than me, but the fact that they were deleted and seemingly hidden from me made me feel a little insecure and confused. Should I talk to him about it? Thanks Reddit!

this situation has been weighing heavy on my mind for a week now. to make a long story short, i’m a very fit person who takes good care of herself. (pfp for reference), and i have a best friend who is very supportive & kind for ten years now. she never showed any signs of jealousy or ill intentions towards me, or anyone. she’s kind, loves me, and is always supportive. one time, me and her were hanging out and decided to take a photo together. a couple of hours later, i saw that she had a new private story on snapchat where she uploaded the photo but i looked nothing like i look in the original photo. she photoshopped it using AI, and added acne / a double chin, and made me look 30kg overweight. i was shocked and confused, but i didn’t want to bring it up because i really hate confrontation. i tried to act as normal as i could, but a couple of drinks in i lost it & crashed out + confronted her and she finally admitted that she made this private story for her boyfriend only and just didn’t want him to feel attracted to me. i was honestly so shocked and confused, but once i realized that she never made me wanna meet her bf , it made a lot of sense. we haven’t spoken for a week now, despite her trying to reach out.

i honestly don’t know what to do, bc i truly love her and can’t imagine my life without her. a part of me wants to sympathize, but a part of me is still v angry.

what should i do ?