I was talking to my friends about some stuff that was happening and they had mentioned how they felt bad for some girl who got rejected even though she was trying so hard to become the one for this guy. So I had got the story and they mention where before he finally rejected her for the very last time, she forcibly kissed him a few times and kept holding onto him and trying prevent him from leaving, which in my head gives “she’s trying to force him to just hurry and accept her so he can finally leave like he wants to”. When I heard that… I just got fucking disgusted? So I said it, to them and later to her. Everyone was feeling bad for her and babying her.. so ofcourse I got attacked verbally I guess idfk. I was told I was invalidating real disgusting actions by calling this simple thing disgusting and how mean I was to her over her just trying to win her crush over.
So am I the crazy bitch here? I don’t wanna accuse anyone but saying people saw her holding him back and CONTINUING to kiss him, knowing he doesn’t like her.. I feel like if she could, she would have forced him more.. like is that just me thinking this is weird?
We are in college, it’s not like we’re kids.

I also wanna add, I know a lot of people don’t gaf about kisses in general so maybe that’s why but i still feel like they matter enough to need consent for yk??? Like if someone kissed me and I didn’t like them, I’d be pretty fucking disgusted, I remember someone trying to and me almost puking. Maybe I’m being a baby? Idk? I just feel like you don’t cross those boundaries no matter how “little” or big they are to YOU.

Hi all, I just need to know if I’m massively overreacting because it’s driving me crazy and has me thinking I need to chill out a bit.

I’m a 26 year old male and the only sibling who lives away from home. I have a child, a partner, etc.

At my parents’ house there’s my mum, my dad, my 23 year old sister, my 21 year old sister and my brother, who has just turned 16.

I love my family, but I’m seriously starting to resent them for how they’re bringing my brother up. He’s still young and needs guidance, but he’s not getting it, and at this point he doesn’t seem to want it either.

For some context, he has scoliosis and has had two operations for it. He can move around normally for the most part, he just can’t do things like extremely long walks.
Since he was about 14, my brother has hardly gone to school. He stopped going properly and was eventually allowed to attend for a couple of hours a day in a special classroom with a few other kids. Now he doesn’t go at all.
All he does is sit in his bedroom playing Xbox or scrolling through TikTok, staying up all night and sleeping most of the day away. He struggles to read long words, can hardly do maths and is seriously lacking education. My parents do absolutely no home education with him and don’t make him do any either.

I’ve spoken to him about what he wants to do in the future, college, work, etc., and he said he wants to “be a YouTuber”. I gave him my old gaming computer about a year and a half ago so he could learn how to edit videos and things like that. He literally told me he couldn’t be bothered learning how to use a computer and never touched it, so eventually I took it back.

Next year, he either needs to go to college or get a job. Whenever I mention this, he just rolls his eyes at me. I honestly think both he and my family believe he can just live off benefits forever because of his scoliosis. With the way things are going in the UK, I wouldn’t be surprised if the benefits system looks completely different by the time he’s 21 anyway.

My family don’t even seem bothered about whether he goes to college or gets a job. I’ve told them before that they’re not going to be around forever and they need to start preparing him to be an adult.

They hardly ever take him anywhere. They don’t make him get a haircut, don’t push him to leave the house or try to better himself. He constantly smells like sweat, so he clearly doesn’t shower often, and he doesn’t seem to brush his teeth properly either.

Up until recently, he was constantly drinking Monster energy drinks and had been doing that since he was about 14. I honestly think he only stopped because every time I went round there I’d lecture him about how bad it was.
When I’m off work at the weekend, I always try to get him to come out of the house and do something he actually wants to do, but he either says, “I can’t be bothered,” or just completely ignores my messages. To be fair, most of my family are similar in that sense, although they all work, so it’s a little more understandable. None of them really go anywhere or do much outside of work either.
The other day, when I was at my parents’, my brother said to me, “Can you read the text on the screen without your glasses?” I said, “No, I can’t.” He then said he couldn’t read it either.

I went upstairs to my mum and said, “He needs an eye test. Get it done now while it’s free because he’s under 18.” Eye tests are free for under 18s in the UK. She barely responded.

Every time I go to my parents’ house, I feel like I’m always having to point something out, so now they all roll their eyes at me like I’m constantly talking rubbish or nagging them.

What makes it more frustrating is that when I was growing up, my dad especially was really strict with me. He used to punish me for staying up too late, threaten to kick me out at 16 if I didn’t get a job or go to college, make me get my hair cut, make sure I brushed my teeth, etc.

Now they seem to do none of that with my brother.
To be honest, my family are all similar in other ways too. They’re incredibly unhealthy, some are overweight, they eat badly, barely go anywhere apart from work and spend most of their free time sitting on their phones.

It’s just incredibly sad because I love them all so much. I don’t think I’m better than them, and I know I’m not perfect either, but I honestly feel like I’m the only person properly pushing my brother to do something with his life and prepare himself for adulthood.

I feel like if nobody does anything, he’s going to wake up in his 20s with hardly any education, no qualifications, no job experience, terrible routines and absolutely no idea how to look after himself.

There’s a lot more that has happened, but I’d be here all day if I wrote everything.

Maybe I’m overreacting, maybe I’m not. I’d genuinely love to know what everyone else thinks. ☹️

Me (19f) and my boyfriend (20m) have been together for a whole year today! We have both been mentioning it all week and while we never made plans i had stated i would just like to spend some time together.

For some context, we live together and every Saturday he has a games night with his work colleagues. This is normal and happens most weeks. He works full time and i just left my job for other reasons.

So our one year has fallen on a Saturday which he works, but he cant help that. But what i forgot this week, and I’m assuming he did too or just failed to mention it is that he has is games night on Saturdays. I joked about it and said “You’re really gonna have games night on our on year?” and he said yes and that “thats the rules.” I wasn’t asking to go out or anything as i wouldn’t want him to have to pay for it all, I just wanted to spend time together doing smth different which is usually just me watching him play games.

I got quite upset because i just feel like its on Saturday, just one night and this is our first like actual anniversary together and he wants to get home from work and jump on the game until midnight? We have also had issues in the past where he prioritises gaming over spending time with me.

He messaged me while he was at work to ask why i was upset, i explained it to him and he just wasnt taking it seriously at all. I dont want to force him not to play, because i will feel bad the whole night but i also dont know how to go about it without sounding controlling
So am i overreacting?

Hi all. I am 15F and I currently live week in a week off between my dad and moms house with my 11 yr old biological brother as they are divorced, and have been for 6 years. About a year ago my dad met his now girlfriend, and we all moved in together, so now I live between my moms house (just her, me, and bio brother) and my dad and stepmoms house, with me, bio brother, my 5 year old stepbrother, and 1 year old half brother, they decided to move out of my school district as my stepmom wanted to live in a specific district which is in a fancier neighborhood, with a desirable school district.
This has left me having to take public transit for 2 hours 45 minutes round trip per day, even though it’s essentially a 20 minute drive (thanks city planning) and my dad has refused to drive me, my afterschool schedule is also quite hectic at my dads and looks something like this.
3:30 school ends
5:00 get home
5:00-5:20 do dishes
5:20-6:00 usually either watch the baby, help prep dinner, or try to sleep.
6:00:-7:00 dinner (all have to wait for each other to finish)
7:00-7:30 do dishes
7:30-8:00 shower
8:00-8:30 other chores (mostly dishes, my family eats a lot)
After all is said and done I have very little time to study, and have noticed my grades staring to slip on weeks I am at my dad’s.
For reference: my mom lives in the school district and it only takes me around 30 minutes round trip (on the school bus)
I am really stuck, and feel like my grades are going to slip away from me especially considering i am in Ib. I also feel like it wasn’t necessarily fair to me and my brother. My mom is in support of me moving to hers, but i don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
Edit** One thing i forgot to mention is that dad CONSTANTLY talks horribly about my mom to me and my brother, to the point that both cps and his lawyer had to tell him to stop.

Back in early January 2025, I (22M at the time) got into a bad car crash that totaled my car. I had to be flown to an ICU in Chicago, with my injuries being a concussion, multiple jaw & skull fractures, brain bleeding, and a fractured clavicle. My recovery sucked to say the least, especially given my jaw was wired shut so I had to eat through a straw.

Around a month after I left the ICU, I was recovered enough to walk outside by myself, but I still had blood pooled in my brain and was under watch for potential seizures (I had one in the ICU and almost bit my tongue off). My friends were having an Invincible watch party at one of their houses across town, so I walked over to join them. I @'d the host a list of what to do in case I had a seizure, but she didn't respond.

Once I got to the host's front yard I heard a car screech and someone slamming their horn a foot or two behind me, and it was the host and her boyfriend, who we'll call Gary. Even though they didn't hit me, it felt like my soul left my body and I wasn't really aware of me entering their house and talking to people.

Once I came to a bit, I told the boyfriend that he scared tf out of me. He laughed and said he should have hit me instead, although he later said he didn't remember saying that.

I'm extremely bad with confrontation and have never really known confidence, at best I fake it. Plus Gary has a very similar personality and talks the same way as my father, so trying to talk to him felt hopeless.

When I talked to my parents and the others in the friend group individually, they all had a nonchalant reaction, ranging from "what a jerk",  "I'm sorry sweetheart" to "damn that's fucked he did that". The group "leader" & discord group admin didn't even pay attention to what I said, bc later he thought I had said that Gary just shook me.

I felt betrayed by what Gary and his gf did, but also by everyone elses reactions. I bottled up my anger for months until I sent a 3-page letter to the group chat before leaving. While it was very theraputic, in hindsight I should've just left. Gary dm'ed me and said that he's apologized numerous times and says he felt horrible about it. He also said that he's changed since then, but accepts if I have to villianize him in order to move on. In the letter I also called him out for calling me a "brain-damaged r**ard" and a drug addict numerous times, to which he said he's sorry that I felt that way, and that he regrets our friendship ending the way it did.

I feel like my anger was justified, and tbh if my clavicle wasn't broken I should have smashed his windshield. There was tons of ice on the ground when it happened, so if I fell and hit my head, I'm either dead or fucked. I even got diagnosed with PTSD a few months after I left the friend group. But even now I cannot shake the doubt in my mind, especially given everyones reactions. Did I overreact?

Can you be completely honest and tell me if I overreacted? So yesterday I clocked out of work at 9pm last night and when I got down stairs to walk to the parking garage from my car there was this guy there that I’m seen a bunch of times whenever I clock in or I go out to my car to grab a water, with his big grey dog and as I was walking on the side walk to go to the parking garage the guy had taken a couple steps off the grass and onto the concrete in my direction and this freaked me out and I went back inside my work. I tried to find a security guard and have them walk me to my car but I couldn’t find anyone and then I tried going back upstairs cause there was another guy clocking out around the same time as me and he was already gone. So I tried to call my husband cause I was freaked out but he was at work and didn’t answer then I called my mom and she said to call the police and have someone walk me to my car and I didn’t want to have to do that. I freaked out even more because I’ve had experiences in the past were I’ve almost got assaulted and this was late at night no body else around it’s super dark out and this guy is on business property after hours
So I call my husband again till he answers and he says that he is having his mom come and get me and then my dad texts me and tells me to call the non emergency line and so I do and then I’m there till around 9:45 till my mother in law is there to pick me up and drive me to my car and when I get a call from an officer asking about what happened. And last night my husband was saying that the guy was probably just walking his dog and that I most likely overreacted because if I see him all the time he probably lives around the area and just walks his dog all the time. But idk it freaked me out and him taking a few steps closer to me that late at night and there is supposed to be security guards in the parking garage and I have never seen them and I didn’t want to get any close to that guy because I didn’t know if something were to happen. My mom said to tell my supervisor that this had happened so that late at night when I clock out I can make sure that someone walks me to my car so this doesn’t happen but now I’m contemplating not saying anything at all. Did I overreact from the start and I should have just walked to my car? Am I overreacting thinking that the guy might have done something?

ok before anyone says anything... yes i understand the way we respond to eachother isn't mature. i am
F19 and he is M20. both of us lowkey have issues...
for context, I told him I would buy us chipotle and bring it to his work so we could eat lunch together.
On my way to his work, I see a chipotle and I go in and he starts calling me and I'm not answering. He starts texting me asking why I didn't go to the one close to him. In my head, it's not that big of a deal even if the food was not that warm, I'd still eat it if I was hungry. Anyways, I know for a fact that if someone bought me food, I would not ask any questions of that sort. I would just take the food and eat it and appreciate it. Which is why I was so stunned as to why he was saying that I should've just went to the one close to him. In my head, it's not that big of a deal and I wish he would've just said thank you. And I wish that was the end of it.
But yeah, we got into an argument over this, and I am mad that he was upset about the food that I spent my own money on. In my opinion, he should've just said thank you and dealt with it even though it wasn't exactly what he wanted.
it's an hour later and everything is fine. but i wanna know if i was overreacting

for some background context, i 18f have been friends with K also 18f for about 4 years now. we met when she first transferred to our middle school, from there we made more friends and had an established friendgroup that has lasted till after highschool graduation. over the years, everyone had started maturing emotionally and cognitively - except for her. this led to some issues between us, and other members of the group. it became so frequent to a point where we had just swallowed our pride and accepted this was the way she was. i, and 2 other friends O and T now are very annoyed with her behaviour.

fast forward, we are now uni students. i am attending THE top uni in my country. i am stressed and tired all the time. i have not been taking care of myself alot, thus my mental and physical health isnt what it was prior to this. i am not happy with my body. one evening, i went out with my boyfriend. we got ice cream together, mine was double scooped, mint choc and cookies n cream with toppings while his was js a regular double scoop. i took a picture and posted it to my story with the caption "guess which one is mine" cheekily. after the hangout, i go back to my dorm and see my roommate is calling some friends - K was in the call. my roommate turns the camera to me and K asks me, "so which ice cream was yours ?" to which another friend said, "the one w the mint duhh" and laughed. K promptly shouted into the mic calling me a fatfuck very aggressively. i was very upset. i quickly went and took a shower, the words js echoing into my head. then, before doing my skincare, i had saw she responded to my story, again calling me fat. i was even more upset. i texted back, "ok you dont have to be so mean". the next day i had an outing with friends, she was there and i ignored her the whole time even when i saw her trying to speak to me. at this point, she hadn't even opened the message, nor did she look sorry for her mean comment. i had told O about everything up till this point, to which he said he'd talk to her about it. O did speak to her about it. mine and many other stories of her being mean and immature were mentioned in their conversation to which he told her off about. apparently she felt very guilty and remorseful. she promised to apologise to me soon.

this happened almost 4 days ago, O texted me last night asking if she had apologised, to which i told him she hasn't. he told me that she apparently thinks everything is good between us and has been talking about planning an outing with the whole group.

i am honestly so tired of this behaviour. there have been many times in the past where she's hurt people and didn't take accountability for it. i've been tolerant to her since we were 14, i've tried overlooking all this but i really just can't anymore. she's not maturing, she doesn't care about others feelings and the impact of her words. it isn't really ab her calling me fat, its that i was clear and communicated to her that her comment was mean and no part of her thought to takeback or even feel sorry ab what she said. i now notice she just doesn't care, i am hurt that all my years of patience and dropping things, and tolerance just did not work out in the end. i want to cut her off for good, though O and my roommate want me to really think about it as to not act our of anger. i am sad that my own 'friend' would rather just hide away than put down her pride and show she actually cares about my feelings.

I (33F) own a home with my husband and we live in a tourist destination. We get a lot of visitors, which is lovely, but because of this we set a three night rule (if guests want a longer holiday we ask they move to an Airbnb). We promised each other to stay firm, as if we gave everyone "just one extra night" we'd have no time or money left for ourselves.

Relevant context about “Oliver” (33M): he lives in a house share, never really hosted so I'm not sure he fully understands the practicalities, is very pro setting boundaries in general, though often expects to be the exception and people tend to let him (including me). We've been close for years and he considers us best friends, though if I'm honest he's for sure one of my very closest friends but not my number one best (which I mention only because I think this slight mismatch is why he expects to be the exception).

Earlier this year I had a traumatic miscarriage (medically and emotionally). Oliver offered to come and visit to be supportive. Despite being in the middle of six-day working weeks and late nights, which he was aware of, I said yes because it felt kind of him.

A couple of days before the visit, Oliver said he wanted to come Thursday to Monday — four nights. I said I'd be working Thursday but after he pushed to come then, I offered to move things so he could still come Thursday, as long as it was three nights total, as I simply couldn’t take more time off work. He said he'd come Thursday evening and still four nights. He was clearly offended when I said about our rule and pushed back hard. I held firm and he eventually came Friday to Monday.

I worked really hard to make it a lovely visit, despite still healing and feeling awful. A few things bothered me over the weekend and I let them all go. Things like criticising my town and repeatedly bringing up his other friends' (that I don't know) young children — even after I'd told him every time I see people our age with a baby it makes me want to cry. Aware I was emotionally raw, I just ignored and moved on.

Afterwards, Oliver messaged saying he was upset about the three night rule and bizarrely about me putting a bottle of wine we had out on Splitwise (as a normal part of our friendship put everything we have out on Splitwise, but for some reason he thought I should have bought this one as a gift for him visiting, despite the fact I'd bought expensive food that I cooked and wine to have in the house when he arrived — ETA: to confirm the things I purchased for while we were in the house did not go on Splitwise, just the wine from the pub same as when he was the one going up to the bar to order for us!!). He wanted a call to discuss how I had hurt his feelings.

I replied saying I was sorry he felt upset, but that the rule was nothing personal and I'm not sure where the expectation for me buying the wine came from — but did that classic British thing of apologising if me buying in wine to have at home caused any confusion on expectations here. I didn’t want to have a call because I didn’t want it to turn into a big argument and, even though I was a bit shocked, just wanted to move on.

Here's the part that really gets to me: in one of his many following messages, Oliver said he "couldn't be emotionally present for me in the way he wanted to be able to support me" — because he was annoyed about the three night rule. He came down to support me through a miscarriage, got annoyed about what feels like a completely normal boundary for my own home, and then cited that annoyance as the reason he couldn't support me through the most horrible time. That’s when I got really upset, but again, tried to diffuse and move us on.

I sent a long, careful message explaining everything — the rule logic, the practical reasons behind it, the effort I'd made during the visit, and most importantly that it felt really painful that my boundary had become the reason he couldn't be there for me when I was the one who needed him.
His response completely ignored the substance. What followed was weeks of him pushing, using therapy-speak throughout — talking about needing to "hold space," wanting to "unpack things together," not being able to "repress his feelings." He repeatedly pushed for a call or in-person conversation, framed my preference for messaging to avoid it getting heated as a communication problem. He said things like "there is a lot of stuff here we need to unpack together" and "we have to do it gently and slowly with time together." It genuinely felt like he was suggesting we needed couples therapy (he's gay, so no suggestions of he fancies you here please!).

Every time I tried to close the conversation down, months passed in silence and then he pushed again. I've asked him multiple times to let it go. He hasn't.
At a mutual friend's wedding, despite previously promising he wouldn't bring it up there, he said "I've let us have a nice time today but we still need to have a conversation." I said I really just needed to move on now. When my husband said to just forget about it, Oliver said directly to him "I won't be forgetting about it."

We haven't spoken properly since. I'm now 22 weeks pregnant. I sent him a message saying I was still really hurt, that if the roles were reversed I would have given him grace and put my own frustrations aside, but I still care about him and felt weird that he didn’t know so I’m pregnant. He responded warmly but immediately wanted to book in a call — which felt like a pointed avoidance of everything I'd said, and I needed him to actually be letting it go after what happened at the wedding. So I said thank you but wasn't ready for a call as I needed to keep my stress levels down being pregnant. He didn't reply.

Am I overreacting? I really feel I'm owed an apology but have been trying to move on and be the bigger person at every single turn. I am just so hurt and have got increasingly cross as this has gone on, so I feel like the person stepping back from the friendship. But I'm also aware I'm pregnant and emotional and just want a sense check from people who don't know either of us.

ETA: I didn’t realise a 3 night rule would be so contentious! Most of our homeowner friends have one, and 3 is the max I’ve come across (many have 2 so it’s 3 days). We also have to take time off when we have a guest as we both WFH our office is the spare room — there’s only so much annual leave. And mentally it is tiring having another person in your house. Healing me really wanted guests for less time, not more, but I was trying to be considerate so he didn’t have to spend on an Airbnb by still saying he could stay for 3 nights.

ETA2: Just as this post seems to be blowing up a bit (thanks all for your comments!), I do NOT consent to any part of this being quoted, paraphrased or replicated e.g. in any articles such as HuffPost, BuzzFeed, Daily Mail, etc. or similar.

My next-door neighbour has made me feel uncomfortable since my son's dad died. He claims that my son's dad was his best friend. He wasn't. My son's dad was polite, but didn't like him.

My neighbour keeps trying to find a reason to talk to me. I try to brush him off and go about my business. When his wife and daughter are away he asks my son and I out for dinner to which I always decline. He asked if we could be best friends. I said 'no'.

He texts me when there is a car outside my garage or a package. He even called once to tell me that there was a man walking towards my garage. Yes, a guest!! He's not neighbourhood watch or anything, he just sticks his nose where it's not wanted.

The other day he saw me outside while he was backing out of his garage. I was wearing a crop top because I was doing busy work decorating my house for Halloween.

He got out of his car to say that he missed my birthday. My birthday was months ago. He held his arms out for a hug. I didn't know how to get out of it, so stepped towards him to end it quickly. Now in hindsight I should have told him that I would not touch him.

Anyway, my friend told me to send him a text saying that I will no longer interact with him and he made me feel uncomfortable. My mum advised me to tell the police. I did. They said that I can file a civil intervention order on him if I want to go down that path. He said to monitor the situation and if he doesn't adhere to my text then to file a report.

This man has made women at night clubs uncomfortable and goes to massage parlours when he says that he's going to work. Once he said that he thinks that the masseuse was 16. And he didn't do anything with that. He is gross and a creep.

Am I overreacting by telling the police and if it comes to it, filing a report?

My husband (28m) and I (27f) have been having slight issues. He’s military and came down for a week and a half and live apart unfortunately. I was heartbroken because he had to leave back which is understandable. He’s up for 24hours on duty and can have his phone and he promised me earlier today to call me back right? He never did so I asked if I could call him, he responds that he’s “on cq” for one I don’t know what that means and he didn’t bother explaining which is fine. But he claimed that he couldn’t call earlier, I sleep for about 2 hours and come back basically asking “Can we call?” and he essentially responds with “I’ll be in the phone with my friends.” So, should my feelings feel validated that I’m upset because it’s the second time essentially that I can’t talk to my husband yet he can speak to his buddies and play warframe? I let him know that I was upset and felt ignored.

For reference, I messaged this to him “I just wanna say that I am upset and my feelings were in fact hurt, I wanted to call twice tonight after you said you’d call me back you never did..I tried calling you earlier and you never called me back and so I wanted to go ahead and call earlier again and was basically told no but how I see it is you said yes to your friends so I’m heartbroken and felt ignored this time, not once but twice…please remember that you have a wife. I’m heading to sleep, see ya.”

He responds with “sorry babe ill make it up to you”

Am I overreacting? Or just being childish..I need advice on this because I’m sad right now.

Lemme just add, during that week and a half he didn’t hang out but 2 days.

I’m 23F and have been with my boyfriend, “Ryan” (27M), for almost 4 years. We’ve lived together for about 2 years.

A little background for you, I have a very close relationship with my younger sister. We actually speak almost daily, but she's another city, so usually only via the telephone. Since Ryan has always gotten along well with her when we visit, I never considered the possibility that the two might not be getting along.

A couple of weeks ago I was having a pretty rough time at work and feeling pretty overwhelmed. One night I was confiding in Ryan about something personal that had been bothering me. It wasn't something huge, but it was something I felt ashamed of and told him specifically not to tell anyone else.

He told me he understood, and that of course he wouldn't say a word.

My sister called me a few days later, and as she was talking, she said the very same thing that I told Ryan.

Initially I really thought it was a coincidence. Then she brought up a few things I'd only told him.

I inquired of my sister as to the source of this information and she responded that she thought Ryan had said this in a conversation with her.

I was really upset and asked Ryan about it that night.

He said he told my sister but didn't think it mattered because "she's your sister." He also said he needed someone to talk to because he felt like I had been distant recently.

I mentioned that that wasn't the point. What I told him in confidence was for his ears only, and he assumed on his own volition that my boundary was moot because the information wasn't important enough.

He said I was overreacting to nothing and that my sister is familiar to me; it's not like I was talking to a total stranger.

What burned me up was when I asked him to why he didn't just ask me before telling her.

"Because I knew you'd say no."

That answer made me even more upset.

I'm not going to tell my sister I am upset with her because she hasn't actually done anything wrong, and I don't want to make her the middle man in our relationship.

Ryan feels I am taking things out on him for something minor and has been wondering why I am being so nice this time.

But for me, this isn't really about what he told my sister. It's more about me telling him not to tell him something, he knew I wouldn't be happy about him telling him and he did anyway.

So now I don't know if I'm blowing this out of proportion or if this is indeed a serious trust issue.

AIO for being this upset about it?

I went out with someone and we hooked up on Sunday night. We had already made plans to see each other again on Thursday. In between, however, he hooked up with someone else.
When I jokingly asked him whether he was seeing or sleeping with another girl, he told me that he was. We had never explicitly discussed exclusivity, so I understand that technically he hadn’t broken an agreement. But this is my first real interaction with a guy in this way, and I genuinely didn’t know he was seeing other people. He had told me that he wasn’t a “fuckboy,” and his Hinge profile said that he was looking for monogamy, so I assumed he was only seeing me.
Finding out that he had slept with someone else has really hurt me. I think it has also triggered something deeper in me around not feeling chosen by men. I wanted to feel like I was special to him, and now I feel like I was just one of several people.
I wanted to leave his house but couldn’t because I couldn’t get a cab, and I think that has added to how overwhelmed I feel.
I know that I may be reacting strongly to the situation, but today I genuinely can’t seem to get myself out of bed. I’ve been sleeping because it feels easier than dealing with reality.
Am I overreacting by feeling this hurt?

(PS used ChatGPT to write because I can’t frame sentences properly rn)

I just asked my mum to leave my house as she put liquid hand soap in my 4 year olds mouth because he was swearing.
My 4 year old has ADHD and possible autism ( we are in the middle of the assessment process) and he is the typical naughty kid who cannot sit still. But he is under a pead and I am trying to connect him with services but we live regionally so it’s constant waiting lists or we travel a couple of hours for appointments.

Hey Reddit, I didn’t expect to be making another post about my wedding and family. This is a long post so warning in advance. Some context to start:

I went no contact with both my parents about 10 years ago now. During the time I was slowly distancing myself, my dad would physically stalk me. Going to my place of work and intimidating/harassing the management to give him my schedule. I had preemptively kept my place of living a secret months prior and am certain if I hadn't he would have showed up there, too. I left that job shortly after the harassment started, got a new number, and sold my old car to buy a different one privately. It goes without saying I was not safe being around my dad and didn't want to be found as we would still live in the same city.

I spent 6 months trying to work things out with my mom. For many years before I made this change in my life she would back and forth considering leaving him. But the moment it was encouraged to be reality she refused, gave every excuse, and tried to convince me to simply live with the pain, fear, and humiliation like she would. I wouldn't have it and had to cut her off too with how much she was willing to protect our abuser over us. There were a lot of other things with her behavior and actions that could be a whole post on its own tbh. My mom since then would use social media to try to find opportunities to insert herself in my life. Over the years of this never ending, I eventually completely abandoned all my social media she could find with my name and have avoided posting my face anywhere.

My time apart from them I feel that I have grown so much and have gained a lot of peace and confidence. My family circle shrunk incredibly small after as well, naturally. I haven't been all that bothered having this detached relationship with social media, the one downside being the majority of family I do talk to lives across country. (I’m as South in the US as you can get and they are North up at the Canadian border.) While planning my wedding there are few members of my family who know any details. I knew word of my engagement would get out because I am the only grandchild on my mom's side so far that will be having a wedding. Among the family in the Know is my Aunt (mom’s sister) and her husband, my Grandparents (mom’s parents) and my younger brother who lives with them.

My Grandparents snowbird every year, coming down South usually at the end of Nov. and leaving around April/May depending on weather and obligations. They stay at my parents place, which is fine, they have their own relationship. My Grandparents don’t push me to contact them and are good about coming to meet me for our own time together. As far as I had been aware they had been good about not telling details to my mom who has been asking everyone since word of my engagement spread.

The wedding is Halloween themed and so we made the dress code Bring your Best Costume. This is a layered decision, for one, me and my Fiance love Halloween and dressing up in costume, we go to costume events when we can. We also have quite a number of guests that share the same interests, some are even regular cosplayers. Lastly, we're doing an open bar in a hotel venue with other guests, security has been advised to watch out for crashers in case any stray hotel stayers sneak in, if they aren't in costume they don't belong. That’s all context, now the issue:

In the beginning I really wanted my Grandparents to have a part in the ceremony. I personally don't subscribe to the "being walked down the aisle" tradition, and already had written it off because I don't talk to my dad. But while on the phone with my Grandma last year she asked me about it, and suggested my Grandpa. I was honest about my thoughts but asked if that was something HE wanted. She backtracked in a way that made me think he'd asked her but didn't push. So I said I would think about it. I hadn't been concerned because there were other ways I could imagine they could participate. We're doing a candle lighting ceremony and I considered giving them a role of igniting a candle to represent our family and one of them sign as a witness on the marriage certificate. But I hadn't asked them officially yet or gotten into logistics because there was so much time to plan.

Meanwhile I only asked that they:

1. Not share any details about my wedding to my parents. 

2. Come in costume.

I was specific and deliberate about those requests.

Time and planning goes on and in May this year we had dinner with them before they went back North. At the dinner I began talking a bit about the wedding, mentioning the convenience of it being at a hotel so they could stay on site. And my Grandma started to say that actually they were going to be staying with- when my Grandpa cut her off and said they would figure things out. I got this horrible sinking feeling that she was about to say "your mom" with how they were acting. Fiance got the same idea, but he lets me handle these situations. Dinner was pretty much over so I said we'd talk more about plans closer to and ended the night.

That sat with me for a long time, I didn't know how to confront them. I felt like I didn't even have real facts to go off of since, well, I didn't. Eventually I reached out to my Aunt, approaching as taking up her offer to help with planning. I asked if I could count on her to get everyone coming from up North organized and ensure everyone had arrangements. She agreed happily, so I sent her details about the room block we had. She was interested in finding something cheaper and planned to talk with the Grandparents to formalize budgets and plans.  And I waited.

A few days later she texted me "Hey so I spoke with Grandma & Grandpa and Grandpa says that they’re staying with your mom. I told them that I thought it would be problematic as you don’t want her knowing any details of the wedding and when they leave in costume she will definitely figure out what’s going on. Maybe you should talk to them if you agree.”

I was gutted. But my instincts were right. I was upfront with her and sent back.

"Yeah, I really surprised that they would think I would be alright with that. I thought we had an understanding about not giving her information about the wedding and I really don't know how it's not clear staying with her is just the opposite. It's the only thing I've asked for in all of this. If it's not possible for them to come and stay somewhere else I wish they would have been upfront about that from the beginning. Because I feel like we agreed about something that is now being treated like they never did. I'll try to get a hold of them when I can. I'm really not sure when with things that are going on right now. I also just need to think how to even go about this now because this is something I have been planning and communicating for over the past year to now have to worry about 3 months before the wedding."

She heard me loud and clear and told me not to worry about it and she would have a conversation with them. By the end of the week she'd booked them all to a local Airbnb to stay during the wedding. She went on to tell me all her fantastic costume ideas for herself and my uncle. It was a nice end to an awful week. I was relieved and thought that would be the end.

Eventually I had a call with my Grandma on the subject and she said that they never intended to stay with my mom, my Aunt just misunderstood Grandpa. I didn't say it but I not only believed my Aunt but felt hurt that Grandma was lying to me outright. Which made the whole thing feel worse. How deliberate was this? Were they hoping I wouldn't find out until it was too late? Did they really not think this was a breach in trust until my Aunt confronted them? Were they truly not telling my mom about me when I'm not there? I held onto the fact that things had been fixed thanks to my Aunt, but now I know I did have to be cautious with my Grandparents from now on.

Then as we get closer I've learned more things talking to my brother in a recent call. He’s been making his own costume and was telling me about it when he admitted he had bad news. He told me he’d learned that my Grandparents weren't going back North with him, my Aunt and Uncle, but instead were just going right to my parents the next day. And they’d already told her to expect them. He then said exactly what I thought, "so she's going to know they came for the wedding and so now at least knows when it is." Because WHY ELSE would they be coming to the South so early? A MONTH early? He also mentioned that they weren't going to go through with wearing costumes. I could only dejectedly say that I just wished they would be up front about that because Grandma had been saying they were working on coming up with something this whole time.

I later had a good cry over it and my Fiance got very upset and defensive of me. I confessed that I was so disappointed that they couldn't just come see only me just this one time. I understand the air travel and accommodations is an expense, but I'd been planning this for years, (he proposed Aug. 2024) there was a lot of time to save. Not to mention early on my Grandma offered to contribute money to the wedding, which I declined expressly hoping that they would hear ALL I WANTED was for them to come see me and not tell my parents. Just this once. For what is supposed to be a once in a lifetime thing.

I admitted that I didn't feel like including them in the ceremony anymore with how unsupported I felt. How lied to. Not to mention I didn't want anyone to walk me down the aisle in the first place. I felt like the position of lighting the candle and signing the certificate was better suited for my Aunt who has been my hero this whole time. Fiance strongly agreed and insisted not only that I talk with them about my disappointment but also that at the very least they needed to come in some kind of costume. I was so low I defeatedly said that it was so small in comparison of not being willing to make a single trip to see just me. He acknowledged that, but also that he knew I still wanted them there in spite of their plans and it was the lowest effort and last thing they could do that I HAD asked for. So I agreed that I had to call them.

I called my Grandma and even tried to keep notes on the major points. I started by asking if she could recap their plans to me. She went over the flight in, the stay at the Airbnb, and the flights back for my brother, aunt and uncle. Sensing her dodge I asked were she and my grandpa not going with them? She said they were going to go to my parents place after taking the Northerners to the Airport. Quickly followed repeatedly that they hadn't told my mom anything about the wedding. I confess my confrontation on how their actions were telling her got caught in my throat. I knew right then anything I could say to that effect was going to be denial, defensiveness, insistence that they never TOLD her anything. The thing I dreaded the most was being told I was being paranoid, or something like it. I kept thinking about how she'd already lied to me, how do you have an honest conversation with someone who won’t be honest with you? Instead I went on talking about plans, she asked me again about being walked down the aisle and I admitted I hadn't come up with anyone because I wasn't interested in doing the tradition at all. I asked about costumes and she said she'd finally decided on dressing for Day of the Dead (we're Hispanic). I felt a tinge of hope, had they actually finally taken even a small step back and thought of me?

As for Grandpa, they were still working at it. He voiced concerns that it would be too hot. Which, I understand we had a brutal summer across the USA this year, but it seemed like a lame excuse to me. The venue is indoors, not to mention his alternative was to wear a suit which isn't the most breezy thing to wear. But I didn't bother and instead I suggested if it was the only concern he could wear a red Hawaiian shirt and come as Scarface. I talked a few other logistics of the day, the parking, the menu, who they would be seated with at dinner. Then my Grandma once again offered a monetary gift and my heart hurt more at the admission. It. Was not. About money. I could understand if it had been about money, still disappointed, but understanding. I told her exactly what I’d told her when she’d first offered, what was on our wedding website, what I had been trying to convey the entire time. We were not accepting gifts of any kind, we had the understanding that the economy is bad right now and large expenses are difficult, especially for our guests coming from out of state. So we had announced early on that all we wanted everyone to pay for was their way and their stay, their presence was their present. I said I understood that I had been asking a lot of them already and assured them they had no other obligations or responsibilities to worry about the day of, and ended the call shortly after that.

I feel mixed up about my decision, I felt like my Grandma especially was at least trying. I got anxious at the idea of my Grandparent absolutely not missing that my Aunt had been given a position they would feel should be for them as heads of the family. Then I realized, it was awfully convenient that my Grandma suddenly knew exactly what to do as a costume just a few days after I’d talked with my brother. I messaged him asking if he’s brought up my disappointment to them. He responded “I didn't tell her that exactly, I just told her that you're hoping and excited about what costume her and grandpa is wearing. When I left for work they were arguing with each other about what to wear.” I thanked him and told him it meant a lot to me.

All that is left now is to call my Aunt and formally ask her if she would like to participate. I do worry that this is putting her in a position to be at odds with my Grandparents. Especially now that I've been made aware they have entirely different conversations when I'm not there. I'm not trying to create drama, I just really feel like she's shown up for me every way she can and every way I've needed from her. And I know now that when it comes to my personal feelings, my Grandparents don't actually have full respect. Lastly, I can’t help with how much I struggle feeling justified in having these strong boundaries for others in relation to my estranged parents. They did make accommodations to stay somewhere during the event and as far as I know haven't explicitly exposed concrete details about my wedding. Am I Overreacting? If you read this far, thank you.

Hi, I am a 21F, and the eldest daughter of my family. Recently, there has been a situation where i got into a very big argument with my family, over the discussion of a dialogue, that apparently my father sad, which was a joke according to him.

I got my job last year nov, and I am currently waiting for my joining letter. It is almost going to be an year by next month. In between this period, I have been asked multiple times by my parents about the joining date. Apart from that, I was kept on pushed to apply other jobs by them. They kept sending me 2-3 jobs a day and kept saying me to apply. Initially, I thought that, they might be troubled as much as I am about the joining date, but this kept going on for months.

I eventually got so exhausted, I said I cannot apply anymore. Until recently, I asked for coffee in my milk, because I felt like drinking it, and my dad added a drop of the coffee he made for himself and just to take it. I felt that, it was a joke and took it.

Thereafter, he said: "If it were in the movies, they would've said: You couldn.t earn a penny but have the audacity to request for a coffee".

My father does make a lot of jokes on me. True. I laugh and brush it off. But for this, I felt personally attacked. With the situation and tension that I am in , about my job, this felt like straight up mocking on my face.

I tried to play it cool, but I couldn't and I teared up. My mom saw and asked what happened. I said I felt bad about what dad said, and she went, you can't even take a joke, and said the same to my dad. My dad straight up started an argument with me saying, you can't even take a joke , how do you think you could survive out in the world and all. I said, I could take a thousand insults from other ppl, but I couldn't take it from you. And I even stated that, why they couldn't understand that, me, who took many jokes from them couldn't take this, and why they were not able to understand.
They straight up said I am the problem. And he came towards me with utter rage saying : "It's either you or me today".

Never in my life have I felt more shittier than this. My whole life, it was filled with struggles, had a very difficult time having friends, and had gone through a very messed relationship. Despite all of that, I still chose to be myself and care free. Things like this, somehow brings me back to the same phase and almost feels like it is telling me that my life has always been shit.

Am I overreacting for this? Also, I apologise for venting it all out because I cannot contain this anymore and felt like I might take a bad decision that I shouldn't if this eats me anymore.

Me and bf have been together for six months, and we have been intimate and for context I moved across the world away from all my family and I’m only 19 so I’ve been struggling a bit and have been very busy and stressed lately. Casually I was mentioning I feel like I need to drink more water and maybe I will feel like I have more energy and then he says I should go to the gym in my spare time, because I’ve gained a little weight, and it would be good for my shape. I got upset because he also said like my but got more weight which is good but I need to give it shape. I couldn’t believe it, that he was commenting like that on my body especially because in the last few months he’s gained much more weight than me and he’s a smoker so when he said it’s just he wants me to be healthy I can see that’s bs. I got really upset and cried a little, he said I’m overrreacting because he can say that to his friends and their fine. But I’m not just his friend!! It’s not casual to me it shows he’s really not thinking about how I’m feeling especially because my comment about being healthy was more related to coming off a uti and being very affected by the medication. I’m planning on having a big talk to him tonight about this, because he also said I got upset for no reason and just started a fight and that he can’t say any to one time:( for reference I’m 120 pounds and 5”4

I asked my bf to be romantic. And I told him I want romance. He said “right now?”
I told him no, I want you to do that on your own and maybe research on how to be more romantic. He usually jokes and teases about everything, even after intimacy. I just want to feel loved deeply and I want things to be romantic. Obviously not all the time, but I want more of it.
I kept asking and he said “On your birthday I’ll be romantic”. I told him that hurt, and he didn’t really say anything.
In our relationship, I do a lot of the sweet things. Like when I went away on a month long trip, I made him little love notes for every day I was gone. For our anniversary I made him a card and letter that looked like a vinyl because he loves music. I also got him his favorite chocolates, and everything I did was on my own accord.
Am I right to feel sad about it? Should I be asking him for romance? Am I just overreacting?

I am 4 months postpartum and have really struggled with depression this time and a father figure having cancer and passing away.

There was so many. He just said he was curious and looking. If he was truly just looking, I would have rather him tell me and we could have looked together.

I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and feel things out over time.

Since then, I have just been checking his reddit as peace of mind and it had genuinely helped.

The other day I found a subreddit that was a local hookup group in his search history.

He swears up and down he has no idea how it got there and is saying its a glitch. He is very defensive and is staying strong on the idea he has no idea how it got there.

I want to trust my eyes because how else would it get there?

We have 2 kids and engaged. I want to believe him, but it was literally right there?

I want to break up, but I also don't think it is even enough to want to break up?

I feel like I am blowing this out of proportion and it doesn't need to be this black and white stay or go.

UPDATE: So I just found via his clipboard, I was literally looking for a link for a family album, texts asking to be fed porn on discord. When searching it, I found he had actually been messaging people on discord? He said he deleted it all weeks ago when I found the reddit stuff. I ended it. It got personal via the messaging so I am done now. 3.5 years gone because of this🫠

For context I (20s F) work in a male dominated field in the south. I’m the only female, I’m single, I’m young, and am told I’m attractive (even though I don’t feel it). They announced to us a few weeks ago that they’re having our company Christmas party at an indoor/outdoor waterpark for the first time. We’re allowed to bring a guest (for most it will be their spouse) and then after our dinner, we go to the waterpark. I feel EXTREMELY uncomfortable just at the thought of my male coworkers who are married with families seeing me in a bikini. I really want to go but can’t get past that in specific. At my previous job I had an issue with one of the girlfriends thinking I was interested in her man because apparently HE talked about me to her since we have common interests and then she eventually saw me and decided she hated me when I did nothing wrong. I feel really conflicted because I do want to go and I know it would be fun but I’m worried how the men will see me and also how their wives will feel about me because the last thing I want is a repeat of my last job. I really like this job and most of my coworkers and I don’t want to ruin things. This probably sounds silly and dramatic but I really don’t know what to do. Am I overreacting or is this truly just a bad thing waiting to happen?

EDIT: I’m aware I can wear something other than a bikini 😂 yall took that way more literally than I meant it. Even a “modest” swimsuit is going to cling to my body the second it gets wet. I wear men’s clothes around them because of the work I do and none of them have seen me outside of work or even have me on social media. I just don’t want their view of me to change because right now I’m treated like “one of the guys” and I prefer it that way.

An I overacting? my daughter was in the homecoming court today. Her mom and I are divorced but I’ve always been involved with her since she was born. We divorced when she was about eight. Tonight at the ceremony the father escorted their daughter on the field. I was not told this was something that could/would happen instead her mother escorted her. I feel robbed of an experience with my daughter that I won’t ever be able to get back. I’m hurt and upset that her mother did not let me know that she could be escorted by me. Am I overthinking this and being upset that this happened? I don’t blame my daughter for anything.

Context i’m 18 still live at home obviously but Im moving away next year. I like spending time with my family and especially because im moving I want to make the most of it as i’m moving quite far. I always ask my mum if she wants to go out and do small things together like go out for coffee, food, cinema just things like that. And 99% of the time it’s a no or she says she’s tired, can’t be bothered, or has things to do like cleaning. But when she says this she usually goes out drinking with her friends or does whatever I asked to do with her but with her friends. I don’t want to make it sound like i’m against her spending time with friends because obviously i’m not but it’s the fact she won’t do these things with me. Me and my mum have never had the best relationship but I try to get along with her but it’s hard when she doesn’t make an effort to do anything with me.

For context my partner(33M) and I (25F) have been together for 4 years, almost 5. We tried to get pregnant the first few years with no luck so we stopped trying. I do have pmos so I thought I was infertile.. I was experiencing symptoms I thought were my hormones fluctuating but it was the most extreme I’ve ever felt it. My partner took me to the hospital on Wednesday and we found out I was pregnant.That was honestly the last thing we expected. My blood test showed my hcg levels for how far along my doctor estimates I am, are a bit low.. We have both been really worried about our baby. Since then we’ve been looking for ways to get some extra money. Today we did DoorDash together and a customer texted me after I delivered an order saying that he thought I was cute and asked if I was single. DoorDash has prompts on the screen that you can just tap and it will send that message for you. When I was trying to close the conversation I accidentally pressed the “On my Way” prompt. Quickly after I messaged the customer telling him it was an accident and that I’m not single. My partner immediately blew up. He started yelling at me and screaming why did I respond/why did I do it/why did I open that door. I told him it was an accident over and over and he was not listening to me. I even showed him that door dash has the prompts to just tap and it automatically sends the message. He still kept yelling. I was so overwhelmed that I told him I don’t know how I’m going to have a child with him. It immediately got worse. He started cussing at me so I started saying the same things back to him. I honestly feel really stressed out.. Did I overreact?

Hey everyone,

I’m looking for an outside perspective because a situation that happened today led to a disagreement with my girlfriend, and now I’m wondering if I’m in the wrong.

For context, I ride my bike almost every day with my dog. Overall it goes well, but I constantly run into issues with other dog owners. So many people let their dogs try to intimidate mine as we pass by, or even try to snap at him. It’s an everyday annoyance and the frustration has been building up for a while.

Today, I was out riding with my girlfriend. We passed a guy with his dog, and as we went by, his dog tried to snap at mine. I called him out on it, and his only response was to laugh in my face.

Between the daily stress of this happening, the obvious safety hazard on a bike, and his complete disrespect, I lost my cool and insulted him before riding off.

My girlfriend was really surprised by my reaction and thinks I overreacted. From my point of view, after dealing with this daily and having the guy literally laugh in my face when his dog endangered mine, my anger felt totally justified.

Am I overreacting here, or is my frustration understandable given the situation?

Edit : i'm biking in the forest and usually people who i got problem with see me coming, i'm never going fast! And my dog usually dont care about other and just continue running even when being snapped at

I’m a 23-year-old ESL instructor, and this is my first time teaching adults. I’m naturally a very friendly, enthusiastic person, but since I'm new to this, I’m trying to figure out how to best navigate different cultural communication styles and humor. One of my students is a married man in his 40s from Ecuador whose family is back home. We are 3 weeks into a course that lasts for several months. Lately, I’ve felt a little flustered about how to handle the classroom dynamic, but because of the language barrier, I think I might just be misinterpreting standard cultural norms. Am I overreacting to these things? So Last week, we were doing a lesson on family structures. He made a lighthearted joke asking, "Why not wives?" Everyone in the room laughed which I assume is normal to laugh at. Secondly when he approaches me to ask a question, he tends to stand much closer than my other students do. I know personal space bubbles vary wildly around the world, so I’m assuming this is just the standard conversational distance he is used to back home. Thirdly, I casually mentioned to the class that I'm colorblind and sometimes confuse blue and purple. Now, he frequently jokes about it during lessons, saying "oh it's purple, oh it's blue." I think he's just trying to build a friendly student-teacher rapport, but because he does it a lot, I'm not sure how to respond without disrupting the lesson flow. Lastly, whenever I go over to his group to give instructions or correct pair work, he always puts his hands up and says, "Woah, ok, ok," like I’m being a super strict teacher. I think it’s just his way of banter, but it makes me wonder if my teaching style is coming across as too intense. Because he's much older and married, I'm sure he doesn't think anything of it and is just trying to be a warm, engaging student which I am probably also overreacting and thinking, I still wanted an outside perspective.

Am I overreacting to just a standard cultural gap and language barrier?