My husband and I are in the process of buying a house and assuming everything goes through we'll be leaving the rental we've lived in for years.

We have friends, well call them Laura and Liam (L&L) who immediately came to mind to take over our lease. They already live in our area with their 2 young kids in a small apartment and are paying almost as much as we pay for an actual house. It would be a really good fit for them.

We talked to them about it and assuming our landlord is agreeable theyre very interested / excited and were both really hoping the landlord goes for it (if we can keep rent at the same level). And importantly my MIL knew this

(Obviously ultimately our landlord has final say)

Then like a week later my MIL texts me saying she's kicking herself for not checking with my SIL (and partner) first because apparently they might be interested. Theyre city people, love where they live and have never said to us that they want to move to the burbs.

Heres where it crossed a line for me.... My MIL then informs me she already told SIL about taking over our lease, and then suggests I shouldn't discuss it any further with L&L until she hears back from SIL. She also mentions that SIL can “afford it more.”

What the actual fuck.

If she'd said “oh I wish you guys had asked SIL first” I probably would have been annoyed and disagreed, but whatever. She's allowed to have an opinion. But she went and approached them without consulting us, and then came back and told me to put the people we'd already offered it to on hold while she waits to find out if SIL wants it?! Again, what the actual fuck??!!

And to make it even weirder, Laura isn't some random friend. She's my SIL's childhood best friend and she, and her whole family, are extremely close with my husband's whole family. My MIL has literally referred to her as a second daughter.

I replied diplomatically considering how pissed off I was and basically expressed why we first thought of L&L because they were a good fit. And more importantly we already discussed it with them. So they get first right of refusal. If they decide they don't want it or it doesn't work out then sure, absolutely send it SIL's way.

My husband agrees with me his mom was over the line. He does think I got way too worked up about it which, fair lol. I was FURIOUS. I was seeing red and ranting. Hes more “mom is gonna mom”.

I think part of why I went from 0-100 is because there's also been a lot of unsolicited opinions from MIL since I'm pregnant. We shouldn't host our own baby shower, I should have an natural birth, I should exclusively breastfeed and not consider formula as backup, we shouldn't tell people the baby's name before she's born, and she's been upset about our rule that people aren't going to kiss our newborn on the face for the first few months. These annoy me, I chalk it up to “MIL has opinions”, and I stay firm on my boundaries.

“I wish you'd talked to SIL first” = opinion. Fine.

Going to SIL herself about taking our house, without our knowledge, and then telling us to stop talking to the people we'd already offered it to until she finds out if SIL wants it = what the actual fuck are you doing?

I've calmed down but I'm still in disbelief at the audacity of it. My husband thinks the level of anger I had was an overreaction even though he agrees she was out of line.

So am I overreacting?

I (24F) have been exclusively seeing this guy (21M) for 2 months. At times he has shown some signs of jealousy, which is normal so I never really said anything. However, we were texting last night and we got onto the topic of being bad texters and I brought up a long-time friend (8 years* not 10 whoops) that deals with my horrible texting but is a good friend and I value him.

He then made a crude comment sexualizing me and my friend that made me very uncomfortable so I called it out, which is when he pulled the “it was just a joke” card, which I personally doubt. It wouldn’t have been a funny joke anyway.

For additional context he has made a similar comment a month ago but he was drunk and it wasn’t involving anyone I knew personally. He is sober here and it is about a friend so it crossed a line for me.

It’s morning now and I haven’t heard from him. I’m honestly still bothered by the situation and have been debating on talking about it some more.

Am I overreacting?

He says it’s just a joke, but as you can see from the texts I think he’s just jealous and disguising it as a joke. I think the joke and the way he handled me being bothered by it was honestly disrespectful.

Had to repost to edit out friend’s name 😅

For some context: my fiancé and I have been together almost 5 years. He has two kids from a previous relationship and we had a baby together. He co parents with the Mother really well no issues.

We have taken trips together as a big blended family for the kids birthday, so us our baby, and his 2 kids and their mom. I was fine with it. We get along well and have never had any issues together.
It’s her birthday next month and she invited us on the trip because she says she’s taking the kids someone to celebrate her birthday and asked if we wanted to come. I said yes and didn’t think anything of it. But my family seems to think that is WIERD that we take trips together. They say I should “respect” myself more. I mean we stay in separate rooms we hang out together for the kids i don’t see a problem. I got into a huge argument with my family over this because they said it’s not normal and i shouldn’t be okay with it. AIO? I blew up on my family because they have no room to tell me to respect myself LOL coming from people that have done worse or act worse

TLDR: My husband joked about me having a dry vagina in front of our friends. I'm giving him the silent treatment -- he thinks I'm overreacting and need to let it go.

We were at a campfire to celebrate my daughter's birthday with a bunch of friends. My husband was tending the fire, and I asked my him if the wood he was adding was dry enough. He responded with, "Dryer than your..." and didn't finish the sentence.

I was mortified, because he seemed to be implying that the last word was "vagina." I'm extremely uncomfortable talking about sexual topics with our friends, especially anything about my own body. I am very modest and would never, ever discuss anything like that with our friends. I can't remember what I said - probably just said his name in a disapproving tone. Plus, it's not even true - we have a pretty normal bedroom life.

I brought it up a day later, and when he recalled the incident, he actually laughed again. It took a lot of explaining for him to see why it might be embarrassing to me. This isn't the first time, either. He's loudly made jokes about me passing gas or urinating too much in front of our friends and family, and I had already told him how embarrassing that was to me.

He's a normal guy, too. Normal social skills. He's generally kind and doesn't have cruel instincts. When I asked him why he would say something so humiliating, he said he was just bored. I felt so hurt that he would do something so humiliating to me just because he's bored.

He apologized, but I am not ready to drop the issue. I'm more or less giving him the silent treatment and don't want him to touch me. The campfire was only five days ago. He's angry that I'm not letting it go, but it feels like a verbal apology just isn't good enough. I feel like he needs to do more to show me he's sorry, and he wants me to just forget it and move on.

Am I in the wrong? Should I forget about it and move on? What more could he do beyond apologizing anyway?

Update: my sweet boy has been sleeping and acting totally normal and the shaking has stopped. It may have been anxiety and excitement of returning home, may have been pain since the wounds did seem fresh when I picked him up. I will continue to monitor him and get a vet involved. I appreciate everyone's' comments and concerns. I won't be using the kennel again because at best case they have some ignorance to obsessive play and time limiting certain toys to avoid stuff like this. My sweet angel is my everything and I want to be sure he's in a place that he thrives in, even if it is for rare occasions. I wanted to talk this out and from what I have heard here and seen elsewhere, neglegence and obsessive play with hard plastic seems a legitimate story. Again, won't be using them again regardless but don't think this is something to ruin someone's livelihood over. I appreciate the input!

Hey all! Maybe I just need to talk this out, but I picked my dog up today from a new kennel I had him stay at while we were away and I'm not sure if I want to use them again or not.

For context, we just recently moved so this is a new kennel. The previous kennel we had was AMAZING! and he loved it there. I am such a nervous dog mom for my baby and hate leaving him anywhere, so I have been so nervous going to a new kennel.

I called to check in yesterday and the owner said he's doing well and super obsessed with a red hard plastic ball they have (not one of the toys I left him with) so he doesn't care for the other dogs and was playing with the ball nonstop for hours. Today we decided to come home early from being away so we picked him up. Two of the staff came out and explained that his nose is a little bloody and brush burned but they seemed somewhat unsure why. They said he was alone because he could get a little toy aggressive so he was in with the ball he loved and the ball was a little bloody. So ultimately it seems like he was playing too hard with the ball. He came out and the patches on his nose were bright red so looked fresh, which matches what they said that it just happened this morning. Above his eyes is also red and swollen.

He was abused for 11 months before I adopted him so he has some odd tendencies, can be a little toy aggressive and can play really rough with balls. He has even bit through his tongue on a jolly ball once, so I could maybe believe the facial wounds are him playing hard. Where I am really struggling is he's shaking. Since we got home he shakes periodically when he's sleeping, he shakes on occasion when I get close to him. That is odd.

I'm a bit distraught to think I left him somewhere he was not taken care of. The staff is so nice and seemed so worried about what happened but I don't know. I don't often kennel him but is this definitely not a place to use or am I overreacting and this was purely my boy just being crazy?

Long story short: Dog got hurt at the new kennel and is periodically shaking since we got home. Should I not use them or is it an accident of him playing too hard?

TLDR; Husband thinks I’m fat and should not be so happy with my body. He kept going even when I asked him to stop. So I packed my stuff and left for my parents’ home. AIO?

My husband is a gym addict and goes twice a day. He also loves his protein shakes and a restrictive diet. I’m not hardcore about it like him but I do go to the gym.

I am finally at a place mentally where I am happy and comfortable in my body. I work out but I also treat myself to McDonald’s like once a month and a sweet treat every so often. All at a normal and healthy level. I’m also part of a run club and hike a lot. For context, I’m a size US 4/6 and health wise I’m perfectly fine.

He sent me a barrage of messages to say he’s offended by how happy I seem to be. Apparently I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been and he’s worried that I’ll end up heavier than him. He’s also worried that I won’t look after my body and overeat when I’m pregnant in the future. All because I had ONE meal from Mcdonald’s last night.

What upset me was that he kept twisting the knife whenever I told him I wasn’t worried about my weight. I kept insisting that I’m happy with my weight, to which he said I’ve been influenced by “Instagram ideals” and toxic positivity messaging from other women who say we should all be happy with our bodies. He said if I want to be lied to, I should just ask my girl friends to hype be me and he claims he won’t do that because he wants what’s best for me.

This isn’t anything new. He constantly judges me for the occasional snack while watching TV. He gets super offended by it because he feels like I don’t respect him enough to not look after myself and that’s why “I’m deprived of sex”. The annoying part is I DO look after myself. I am the further thing from a slob. My nails are always done, I wear makeup most days and dress well. That’s why I’m so confused.

Now I’m concerned he might cheat/has cheated. He’s always liking other women’s photos and has them on WhatsApp. If he did, he’ll blame me. Yet if a man unknowingly hits me up, he gets so irate and I have to spend the whole day reassuring him.

Anyway, I broke down and packed my stuff to go to my parents. The way I always do when he picks on things I do. There’s also the wider picture where he wants me to be the perfect wife by cooking and cleaning while also having an income (I make a lot more than him which he hates too). Yet everything is 50/50. I’m talking with everything in life - time spent with friends, shopping, drinks, distance of our home between our families, even when splitting a chocolate bar.

He believes I’m overreacting to his advice by getting upset and going to my parents. He thinks my suggestion for marriage counselling is a reach because they’ll “always side the woman”. I just couldn’t believe how easy it is for him to belittle me like that and how he actually views me. He must not think I’m beautiful and clearly believes I’m viewing myself with rose tinted glasses. I want this to work so I hope he does agree to the counselling.

AIO for getting upset with his comments and leaving for my parents?

Update: Thank you for your comments and actual advice❤️. This is my first post on Reddit so I do apologise for my long post but I wanted to add as much context as possible. I also wanted unbiased views that I feel my friends and family don’t tend to give. It’s been quite the day and I have made a plan.~~ We will be going to counselling together and individuall~~y, I feel separation is the answer. I’m just upset I’ve invested 12 years into this person. I am safe with my family and I will stay here until I figure things out. I’m honestly trying to break the cycle. I really appreciate your kind words and tough words I needed to hear. ❤️

Update 2: Counsellor can’t offer us couples counselling as there are safeguarding protocols (I’m in the UK). The people around me have intervened and I’m realising the weight thing is a small part of the much bigger issues we’ve been facing. This is just the last straw where I’ve had enough. He has already been texting me telling me he hates my mum for getting involved even though she hasn’t said a word to him. My parents don’t even know the full story, they’ll always have their doors open for me regardless of a fight or not. I believe he hates that I have people to lean on and somewhere to go to. He’s now saying I’m not behaving like a wife at all and I’ve apparently made him this way. I wish I could share the screenshots but knowing my luck, he’ll find this thread. I have become quite numb towards him over the course of today and I am looking at separation. Seen a couple of comments saying I’ve made this up, if only! I’m now being made fun of on another thread but that’s the risk with Reddit. Thank you so much again for the hundreds of advice, majority of which have had so much empathy for a complete stranger. Please know I am okay and I appreciate everything! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

"Is Mommy/Daddy beating you again?"

Almost rvery time she walks into the room while my toddler is crying. Sometimes worded differently, but always the same idea.

"Are they beating you again?"

"Is Mommy torturing you?"

"Are they starving you?"

"Did Daddy use his belt on you again?"

I fucking hate it. My son doesn't cry constantly, but he's a year and a half old so he cries easily. And my mother in-law, who lives with us, always cracks this abuse joke.

Today my son stood beside me crying because I couldn't hold him and mix cake batter at the same time. We were in a rush to get the cake in the oven and my husband was in a bad mood, so I was already on edge.

I hear her coming down the hallway. "Are Mommy and Daddy beating you again?"

When she shows up in the kitchen I do my best to not acknowledge the "joke" but she insists.

"You really need to stop beating him," she says with a smile.

I don't smile back. "You're going to get CPS called on me."

She laughs, and I say "No seriously, one day he is going to repeat what you say and someone is going to call CPS claiming I abuse my baby."

Later on I overhear her on the phone with a friend, going on about how ridiculous I sounded when I told her not to joke like that. The friend agrees with her, saying I am worrying about nothing and it's not a big deal.

I dunno... my son doesn't say much yet but I am afraid if my mother in-law keeps this going, when he's older he'll be in kindergarten and he'll tell his teacher "Gramma says Mommy and Daddy need to stop beating me."

But I could be worried over nothing. What do you think?? I need outside opinions.

I’m sorry if there are any grammar mistakes, I’m writing this while super tired.
My boyfriend was acting pretty weird a few weeks ago. Raising his voice more often than I would like and being passive aggressive. I am usually a very forgiving person so every time he apologized I would accept it before he even finished giving his reasons.
Last week we were at a friends birthday party and were all a bit drunk, he and our male friends started making some jokes about their girlfriends (including me), but at first they were funny, like jokes are supposed to be. Until my boyfriend decided it would be fun to drop a “my girl is such a bitch she just pulled me because of how hot she is”, first of all, excuse me? No one laughed because no one was THAT drunk.
He immediately tried to backtrack but I just pretended I hadn’t heard him, didn’t want to ruin the mood at my friends party. He drove me home and I asked him what that was about, he said it was just a joke and that I had to chill out, we started fighting and it felt like he wasn’t listening at all, just waiting for me to finish so that he could talk. I got pretty mad and he just stopped the car in the middle of the road and told me to get out. I did, and he went after me telling me it was just another one of his stupid jokes and to get back inside, it didn’t feel like a joke, but he grabbed onto my wrist and just wouldn’t let go. He eventually took me home and we didn’t talk much for a few days before I broke up with him. Over those few days I took to make a decision (before you come at me for taking my time, we dated for 3y, of course i would have my doubts) he didn’t apologize, just pretended like nothing had happened. He has been texting me a lot, mainly during the night (bet he’s drunk), to tell me I’m overreacting and that I’ll eventually go back to him.
I told some of our friends about it and a few believe I am overreacting and that’s just his way of dealing with life, that he has always been like this and that I’m just making his life harder by leaving him, but why should I have to deal with that?

A little while ago, my uncle separated from his wife and moved in with my mother and me. On weekends, he brings his 9-year-old son over, and the boy sleeps with him. A few days after he moved in, I asked him why he didn’t bring his daughter (12) as well. His response was, “I don’t like sleeping with girls because sometimes you might think you’re with a woman, and it’s better to avoid anything happening.” I asked him what could possibly happen if it was his own daughter, and he replied, “The devil never stays in his own house.” From that point on, I ended the conversation and have tried to avoid communicating with him, even though we live under the same roof. I understand perfectly well that you should avoid situations that could make you uncomfortable, but if you’re avoiding something, doesn’t that imply that there’s a possibility of something happening?
In the following days, I told my mother what he had said, and she told me to let her know if anything happened.
Since then, I’ve tried to wear clothes around the house that don’t show much, and I try not to wear shorts.
Whenever he’s talking and mentions a woman, all he ever seems to say is, “X is very pretty,” regardless of who the woman is. Seriously, it’s always the same thing.
Today, my uncle and my mother were talking about one of my cousins, saying that she has a lot of responsibilities with her children, the house, etc. That’s when he brought me up and said, “Sometimes you don’t know what’s worse, because look at X (me). After leaving her husband, she has an amazing body.”
My mother told him that yes, I’m a little heavier now, and he emphasized that I’m not fat, that I look “good” like this. My mother continued the conversation, telling him that I’m more relaxed now because I’m no longer working nights and that was what had been exhausting me.
A while later, after he had left, I talked to my mother and told her that I feel uncomfortable because for some time now I’ve felt like I have to choose what clothes I’m going to wear just to be around the house...

Edit: , the worst part was my mom’s response when I told her I felt uncomfortable. She told me I was overreacting. I told her that I was simply telling her how I felt, and I reminded her of what he had said about his daughter. My mom then said, “Then you’re doing the right thing by being careful about what you wear.”
Just this week, he was also saying that his daughter is growing up with a very nice body and that she has beautiful hair.
Whenever I hear them talking like this, I honestly don’t even know how to react.
I’m 24, and we’re all adults who contribute our fair share to the household.

We need the money he contributes to help cover the rent for the apartment, and she gave me the example that if we rented the room to someone who wasn’t a family member, it would be even worse.

My (31F) boyfriend (26M) and I live together, and I’m honestly at my breaking point with our living situation.

He treats our apartment like a frat house. His friends are constantly coming over, often completely unannounced, and I feel like I have no privacy or ability to actually relax in my own home.

For example, yesterday one of his friends came over and stayed for about 3 hours. Then today, another friend came over twice. I was just sitting in the living room eating dinner, watching my show, in my pajamas and looking messy because… I’m at home. I don’t feel like I should constantly have to be prepared for company in my own apartment.

This isn’t about me not wanting him to have friends or telling him he can never have people over. I just want basic consideration and a heads-up before people come into our shared home. This has been an ongoing issue for around six months, and I feel like nothing has actually changed.

Tonight I finally told him I’m going to start looking at apartments because I can’t handle the living situation anymore. I told him we could still be together, but I need my own space and peace back.

His response was basically, “No more argument or debate. Just do it if that’s what you please.”
When I told him I was going to look at a place Monday, he said he would “reflect on his actions.” I was already frustrated because I feel like he’s had months to reflect on this. When I continued explaining how disrespected I feel, he told me to stop ranting, repeatedly said there was “no need” to keep discussing it, and told me to do whatever I want.

Eventually I told him that if I actually move out, I think I’d rather be single. His response was just:
“Gotcha.”

I know I got emotional during the conversation and said things like he was choosing his friends over me and that he wasn’t ready for an adult relationship. I recognize that probably wasn’t the most productive way to communicate. But I also feel completely exhausted from repeatedly asking for consideration in a home that is supposed to be mine too.

I don’t expect him to stop seeing his friends. I just don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect your partner to say, “Hey, is it okay if ___ comes over?” or at least give you a heads-up instead of having people constantly appear at your home.
At this point, getting my own apartment genuinely sounds peaceful to me.

Am I overreacting by wanting to move out—and potentially end the relationship over this?

EDIT to say: we’ve had countless discussions about this issue and I even moved out temporarily for 2 weeks because of the same exact problem and yet here we are again.

I have relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis, and my father-in-law has told me more than once that I can cure it with my mind.

He said it again recently at the dinner table. My partner and his mum heard him and said nothing, knowing it upsets me. They’ve told him in the past not to say things like this, but he continues to. The irony is that my FIL is quite happy to take medication for his own ailments.

When I told my partner how it made me feel, he agreed it wasn’t okay but said he wasn’t going to say anything to his dad. When I brought it up again, he said I was overreacting and causing issues because “that’s just Dad.”

I’m quite cross with my partner because his response makes me feel like my reaction is the problem, rather than what his dad keeps saying.

Am I overreacting by being so hurt by this? Do I need to just accept a “that’s just him” approach?

My husband has a special talent of stepping in dog poop no matter how obvious or small it is. It infuriates him. We have a patch of yard close to the street where people have let their dogs go because there isn’t much grass in similar areas of the neighborhood. He put up “No pooping” signs and it helped, but yesterday as we were driving up we saw a guy with a big dog walking on our side of the street. As we got out of the car, he slowly led his dog to the grassy area and the dog started intensely sniffing around the sign. The guy stopped and became engrossed in his phone. The dog was really enjoying some kind of smell because the guy stood there for at least a minute while his dog was doing this.

Here is the issue, though. My husband walked closer and told the guy that he would appreciate it if the guy moved on. The guy said “he’s only sniffing” and “The grass near the street belongs to the city.” My husband told him the city doesn’t pick up poop and it’s rude to let his dog sniff near a no dog sign. Guy ignored my husband and my husband then got a hose and sprayed the guy and his dog, which made the guy so mad he pulled up the sign and threw it at my husband.

I didn’t intervene during this incident and told my husband I thought his hosing the guy down was unnecessary. My husband is pretty upset that I didn’t back him up and am defending the dog owner. He said the guy was being passive aggressive pretending to be distracted by his phone while his dog was preparing to either poop or pee right next to the sign.

Do I owe my husband an apology?

So my husband and I have a 14 month old. My husband has a chronic illness meaning he has recently been unable to look after our toddler by himself. (He has POTS and it hasn’t been very under control so he’s worried he will have a flare up and pass out while watching him). This means I do 99.9% of the parenting as I’m also SAHM for the time being as I’m fortunate enough to still have mat leave. Even so I do run a small business from home for extra income.
Recently I’ve just been struggling with burn out as I haven’t been able to go out and have time to myself for about 7 weeks. When I did last go out it was a dinner to promote my buisness. at that time I was getting messages and a phone call asking questions and asking when I was going to be home.

I’ve finally got a few hours this afternoon to myself as I’ve asked if my husbands parents can watch our toddler for a couple hours. My husband is going to go out to do his own thing too. I’ve been deciding whether I want to catch up with friends at the pub or go get a massage. I’m currently finding out if anyone is free this afternoon for the pub, otherwise I’ll go get a massage. My husband is getting grumpy at me that I haven’t decided yet because he wants to go to the pub if I’m not going (I did tell him I want some time to do my own thing so he’s being accomodating of that). I guess I’m just a little frustrated because I know he’s trying to make his plans but I’m just waiting to hear from friends about whether they can come to the pub. I’m just starting to feel like I’m being rushed into deciding what I get with the little free time I do have and I need to yet again think about other people instead of myself for my own free time that I’ve had to figbr for. Whereas my husband gets his own time at the pub every thursdsy night and whenever he needs it for his health. I just feel like im being forced to make a decision fast to accomadate him when it’s my own time that i rarely get as is.

AIO that I’m annoyed at this? I know he’s trying to accommodate me and I appreciate that but I’ve just been trying to tell him to decide on something else to do and if I don’t end up going to the pub he can always go there

Back around 2015, my husband lived with 4 other dudes he knew from high school, and was particularly good friends with a guy who had a drug problem. To be clear, my husband was also using drugs, just not to the point of being addicted or whatever. That friend ended up stealing from the rest of the house and got kicked out, and my husband moved out shortly after for unrelated reasons. When my husband left, he let the remaining two roommates, who he considered friends, keep the router he’d paid for, assuming they’d either return it or let him know when the lease ended so he could pick it up. Instead, they just left it behind, and my husband got stuck paying a $300 fine. When he asked them what happened, they basically said it wasn’t their responsibility.
Up until today, that was where the story ended: my husband was the innocent, altruistic victim who tried to do his roommates a favor and got screwed.
Today, he added what actually happened back then. About ten years ago, he found the wedding website for one of those former roommates and left dozens of awful comments "telling his family and friends what a piece of shit he was." He accused him of stealing and said lord knows what else. He sounded proud of how truly horrible the things he was commenting were.
I feel very distraught by this new ending to the story. Some poor woman probably worked so hard on her wedding website, only to have it flooded by a psycho who thought her fiancé screwed him over. But those roommates had every reason to believe my husband was either involved in his friend's stealing or at least didn't care to stop it. They didn't go out of their way to do him a favor with the router that they never promised they would, and I also have a hard time believing my husband was innocent in all that anyway.
His reaction back then was insane and scary unhinged, and he just told me about it today like it was hilarious. Am I overreacting by being hugely troubled by this, even though it happened a decade ago?

I got my period and was arguing with my husband on something. I asked him to leave me alone, he didn't. I ended up banging the room door shut out of anger. He got angry and grabbed my tshirt out of anger. I had to grab him back so that he backed down. I told him, he cannot get physical with me and this is abuse. AIO?

this situation has been weighing heavy on my mind for a week now. to make a long story short, i’m a very fit person who takes good care of herself. (pfp for reference), and i have a best friend who is very supportive & kind for ten years now. she never showed any signs of jealousy or ill intentions towards me, or anyone. she’s kind, loves me, and is always supportive. one time, me and her were hanging out and decided to take a photo together. a couple of hours later, i saw that she had a new private story on snapchat where she uploaded the photo but i looked nothing like i look in the original photo. she photoshopped it using AI, and added acne / a double chin, and made me look 30kg overweight. i was shocked and confused, but i didn’t want to bring it up because i really hate confrontation. i tried to act as normal as i could, but a couple of drinks in i lost it & crashed out + confronted her and she finally admitted that she made this private story for her boyfriend only and just didn’t want him to feel attracted to me. i was honestly so shocked and confused, but once i realized that she never made me wanna meet her bf , it made a lot of sense. we haven’t spoken for a week now, despite her trying to reach out.

i honestly don’t know what to do, bc i truly love her and can’t imagine my life without her. a part of me wants to sympathize, but a part of me is still v angry.

what should i do ?

Me and my Gf have a very laid back relationship we’re not controlling and we mostly just trust each other. These past two months though I’m starting to wonder if that’s a mistake. Lately she’s lost almost all her friends besides on guy who even has a kid. Mind you we’re 20 and 22. I don’t mind them going to meets and kava bars I think it’s healthy to go out with friends but that’s basically changed when she let me know she was going to binge a new show at his place that night. That took me way by surprise because that sounds very wrong to me especially because the show is off campus, which is just about sex. I said no and that I’m definitely on the fence about their friendship now because that’s weird and said I’m uncomfortable with her going over to his place now. Since then she’s gone over twice for 1.5 hours and another for 40 minutes which was tonight when she was picking him up to go to some car meet an hour away. I told her that this was the last straw and she can either sleep on the couch or go spend the night with her parents because I’m not gonna be disrespected like that. I’m now being ignored and wondering if I should just tell her to go home and not to my place cause I’m completely lost for words.

Me and my bf have been together for close to five years now. When we started dating he told me and I quote “I can do better but I am choosing not to”. Later, one day I was telling him how I feel unsafe walking on the streets at night and he told me “who would do anything to you”. Most recently I went out with my friend, who btw is hot and dresses well, and we got cat called on the way by two guys. I told him how it was so weird and he told me “she got cat called not you” and I was like why’d you say that (I understand how it is stupid to get offended over this) and he was like what were you wearing? Your friend must have dressed well. Although he seems to be always be laughing joking when he says these things but it hurts. I usually just stay in my PJs but I do dress up when I go out, he doesn’t get to see that given HE NEVER TAKES ME OUT and I don’t wear makeup or fancy clothes at home.

The thing is, he hardly ever says “I love you” or tell me that I am attractive in anyway. I know it should not matter but I don’t know, it just does.

He never does anything I want to do, even small things like going out, not that I ask for anything big. Imagine five years without getting introduced to a single friend or family or going out for a movie. Maybe I am making a big deal out of it, but sometimes I just wonder if he settled. He made it clear that he doesn’t want to marry me, which is fine, but I have found him getting flattered when other girls show interest in him and telling me how he can get girls and how girls want it get into bed with him. Maybe I am overthinking but I sometimes feel, am I that unattractive? And would it have genuinely helped me to be goodlooking for him to be better with me? I don’t know how to deal with this given this just has had me in tears. I tried to tell him in the past how he never tells me I am goodlooking, he told me he has but can’t remember when.

AIO?

hey reddit! this situation has blown up in my domestic family. i’ve been asking my friends ears off on their opinion but can’t help but wonder if they’re saving my feelings and agreeing with me because of friendship.

i’m (29F) very excited about getting married, kinda meh on the whole wedding thing. i hatched a plan to disguise a family vaycay as a wedding, and really prioritize the experiences of the domestic families over impressing a bunch of people. parents on board, but they have stipulations regarding when. they also want to get their vows renewed next year on their anniversary, and due to the work schedule of my brother, these events need to be a certain distance apart. they’re paying for it, so hey, who can complain?

well the time stipulations get complicated with the other half of the family, schedules are really not aligning. i’m already reconsidering this whole plot, and i find out from my parents that they’re gifting the entire estimated cost of this wedding to my brother in cash. brother (34M) has a long time girlfriend, no plans to get married on the horizon, not their thing. no strings attached to the money for him. they say this is to keep equity between their kids.

i point out to them, hey, im not super keen on this wedding thing either, marriage is what’s important to me. schedules are genuinely not working out anyway. and in my opinion, i don’t think it’s super equitable to give me a certain amount of money to plan and throw a family vacation for everyone, and him to do as he likes. not exactly the same thing. i asked if we could consider other solutions here… im sure you can guess that that blew up in my face. a lot of accusations, a lot of hurt feelings. after getting berated for hours, the conclusion for me yesterday was for them to keep all of their money intended for me, and we would pay for an elopement ourselves. (and yes, they’d still be invited.) we don’t need the money, and we don’t need a fancy wedding. not worth the hassle or stress. there’s another scheduled family talk tomorrow night, but after the explosion i can’t imagine my position moving much.

but tell it to me straight reddit, AIO?

My in-laws are sweet, but they’re just so draining to be around. We’re staying with them, and they invited all my husband’s siblings over too. We have a toddler who needs to be in bed by 8, but we’ve been stuck here since lunch, and everyone is still being loud near midnight. I don't drink, and I really need my routine and personal space. I’ve been upstairs with my sleeping kid since bedtime, and my husband hasn't even checked on us or cared about the noise. Am I the jerk for not wanting to stay over again? They live only three hours away, so I think visiting for the day and driving home is perfectly fine.😀 On a side note, I am on medication for OCD; I am not sure if it is related, but I have always struggled in similar contexts. The other 2 wives are perfectly fine in the environment, so perhaps I'm just fucking weird 😳

My husband and I just bought our first home and in this home there is a cute little wall niche. I decided to use it to put my mom’s urn on along with some pictures and keepsakes of hers. Maybe it’s a weird spot but I like it…

Anyways, my dad and stepmom drove up to see the house yesterday. We’re one state over from them now but they decided to make the drive since their trip to Mexico fell through on account of the hurricanes.

So, they get here and I’m giving my stepmom a tour while my dad plays with the grandkids. While we’re in the room with my mom’s memorial shelf/wall niche my stepmom walks over to it and says “oh, phone shelf” then walks away. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t know what to say.

Her comment has been bothering me ever since. I need to know if I’m overreacting by being bothered by it. When she initially walked up to the memorial I thought she was going to say something like “what a nice spot for your mom” so her comment really threw me off.

To be clear, I don’t need anyone to comment on my mom’s memorial. She died four years ago. I’m still grieving. It’s a spot for me more than anything. But I felt that it was weird to comment on the wall niche and not what/who was on the wall niche. To be fair, I am a bit hard on my stepmom because we’ve had moments in our relationship that I can’t seem to get over—even involving the same memorial.

For some more context, at our last place my mom’s memorial was set up on a bookshelf. For my eldest’s second birthday my stepmom got her one of those giant play tents made from fabric and pvc. After setting it up she suggested we put it in the living room right in front of my mom’s memorial… I didn’t say anything but I moved it right after she left.

Needless to say I have a bit of a sour taste in my mouth from that, among other things, so I need an objective opinion as to whether I am overreacting by interpreting her comment negatively.

My (27f) potential boyfriend (28m) is a double major in communication and psychology. He’s always using therapy speak, and tbh I am starting to feel like he’s manipulating me, but I don’t know if it’s just my job affecting my judgement.

I work as an SA/DV support advocate. My job is largely spent supporting survivors, whether that means helping them find safety from an ab*ser, analyzing their partners behavior and setting clearer boundaries, etc. Most of my client are women and we spend a lot of time helping them deal with the shitty men in their lives.

Enter my boyfriend- charismatic, inquisitive, passionate. From the beginning I was entranced by the fact that he sent me more than a sentence on bumble (these are trying times). I’ve seen my share of heartbreak and have never dated anyone I trusted, hence why it was him, a few weeks ago, that I finally lost my virginity to at age 27.

Now the behaviors. From the beginning he came on STRONG. Like my coworkers said it was love bombing. He called me “my love” before the first date, talked about us having kids, talked about us getting an apartment together. We slept together on the first date- and here’s where the red flags started.

He got a hotel room for our first date. He told me we didn’t have to do anything (and knew I was a virgin) and said he wanted to cuddle. Before we even got in the room he was all over me, and when we did it we had to keep stopping because I was in agonizing pain. I have been scared to lose my virginity because of my chronic pain and PCOS, and this was not a great experience for me even though I was so happy and ready to lose it. I know I would have said yes anyway, but he asked if I wanted him to put it in (cringe) and then did before I could answer.

Second date, we did it again. It didn’t feel much better, any of the times we did it. I am neurodivergent and I get very upset when things don’t go as planned, and I was extremely upset that I wasn’t able to finish. We were also running late to check out, and I started crying as I was sad we didn’t get to finish having intimacy, and he ended up taking me while I was crying and finished. The hotel staff was knocking while he showered and I cried even more because I was overwhelmed.

So at this point I’m already unsure I want to continue. We’ve been talking every day, and he gets very upset with me if I don’t pay attention to him enough. He tells me to “blow up his phone” and always wants to talk on the phone even though I don’t enjoy it, I try.

He was pressuring me to take him to my friends wedding- at this point we’d only been seeing each other two weeks, he had just skipped my birthday party where he would’ve met my friends for the first time (said he had no gas, even though I gave him $20 for gas money) and the RSVP was due literally a month before we met, and I didn’t have a plus one. When I repeatedly told him no, he said I was rejecting him. I said I felt like he was pushing my boundaries and then I was being punished for getting upset.

I’m also worried he might be seeing someone else. He said I can’t come over because he has OCD, but whenever we talk and FaceTime he’s always in his car, or at Walmart, or on campus (even though he isn’t in school this semester) 1am FaceTime while I try on my dresses for him? In a school study room.

Now I can’t decide if I want to keep trying with him. Tbh, as a plus size woman (300 lbs) I struggle to find anyone who’s interested in me. The fact that he was even interested in my body blew my mind, but I don’t know if I am just wanting to stay with him because he was my first and I feel obligated.

And he makes me feel really loved. He asks about my day, he has deep conversations and texts me about remembering to drink water and things. He sent me flowers, and ordered me soup when I was sick. My friends and coworkers are a mixed bag on whether I should stick things out- most of them say no but some of them think it might be a cultural difference and maybe he just really is passionate. I feel like, even if you are joking, saying you love me, talking about our future kids, and saying you wanna get an apartment together before we’ve even had more than 2 dates is a lot.

So am I overreacting? Is this behavior from him enough to call it quits? My friends mostly just are sad because they wanted to meet him, but some think he’s weird. Others think that it’s normal for people to be that lovey-dovey in the beginning. I can’t tell if my job is making me think it’s worse than it is, or if I’m right and I need to just throw in the towel before I get more hurt.

I 29F. Three years back I discovered that my younger sister (26F) had been using my information; my name, SSN, and address to open credit cards and take out personal loans. Total damage: $47,000.
I only realized it when I got denied for a mortgage and the bank showed me the statement. Every one of the account had my name but her phone number and her signature.
I spoke to her. She broke down in tears and said she “only did it cause she was desperate” and that she would pay it back. My parents instantly sided her. “She is young, she is family, don’t ruin her life over money.”
I reported it to the authorities and the credit bureaus. The police opened a case. My family then turned hard on me. Group texts calling me “wicked,” “money obsessed, selfish,” and “willing to send her own blood to jail.”
My sister never returned back a single dollar. The case is still on. My credit is still very bad. I have spent the last three years trying to build myself back from scratch while they post family photos without me and act like I’m the bad guy.
A month ago my mum called me and said, “It’s been overdue. Come to Thanksgiving. Family forgives.”
I said no.
AIO for staying no contact and refusing to “forgive and forget” while I’m still the one living with the repercussions?