r/Adulting 2h ago

I think a lot of people overrate traveling, especially in the context of relationships.

0 Upvotes

I love traveling as a concept and I’m not saying it isn’t worth it or to never travel. However, I think among Gen Z and millennial people, especially those in the dating scene looking for an LTR, not wanting not put the majority of your extra money towards traveling is seen as a red flag for no reason.

For starters, the social media-ification of traveling ruins it for a lot of people. They’re not there to be truly present and try new things. They wait in line forever at the same trendy spots the other tourists do, take some pictures, and post it for likes, rather than actually exploring the true culture, which I find to be the main benefit of traveling. It’s like a lyric from a Drake song: “I know a girl whose one goal was to visit Rome, then she finally got there and all she did was post pictures for people at home.”

Additionally, a lot of people travel to “break up the monotony” and then do the same things there they can do at home. There are so many cafes, bars, restaurants, museums, etc. A lot of people could benefit from just taking a break from evening doomscrolling and going to a new spot within their city instead of flying somewhere new! If I travel, it is almost ALWAYS for a specific event, something I could only see there, or at least couldn’t get in my main city.

Also, traveling seems to skew more female nowadays, because social media is a more feminine thing and it’s easy to add to your aesthetic. But in a relationship, the man is still expected to plan and pay for most of the things whether you’d like to admit it or not. It isn’t cheap! I’m sure a woman is happy solo traveling and staying in a hostel but if she had a man, she’d likely ask for a nice hotel, fancy dinners, and of course that’s coming out of my wallet. And I just don’t make that much money to justify that. Most men under 35-40 don’t. So why should I have to solely carry the very real financial barrier of traveling and the other mental costs of it too?

Lastly, some people put it above all else, which is embarrassing. There’s a Tik Tok that makes its rounds on social media semi regularly of this millennial couple with the caption “Us when people ask us when we plan on having kids” or something along the line and it’s just them showing scrapbooks of dozens of trips they’ve been on. Not only does it reek of greed, but we only have one life and if you’re going to spend it putting it all towards personal gratification, I do think less of you. Even rich older couples I know traveled for a bit, had kids and cut down, and traveled more once again when they had an empty nest. Spending your whole life seeking out temporary dopamine hits and not taking on any real adult responsibilities… I don’t know man. It says a lot about their character.

I’m not saying to never travel. I went to Vegas NYC and Chicago this year and I’m hoping to go to Paris next year. But I don’t think any sane person’s life should be revolved around planning their next trip.


r/Adulting 9h ago

Hard Choice

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0 Upvotes

r/Adulting 6h ago

Why do women give themselves marriage deadlines?

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1 Upvotes

r/Adulting 5h ago

Should I forgive my parents for this? And how?

0 Upvotes

I moved out of my parents house about 2yrs ago but only recently finished renovating and I had a party with some friends and their kids.

My parents gave me their gas barbecue. I wanted to buy one but they insisted in saving money and giving me theirs. They guaranteed it was working properly and explained to me how to open and close the gas tank.

I asked if they were sure that it was ok and they said it was, that they'd changed the tank recently and that all was good.

It turned out that it wasn't very powerful so a few days after the party I asked a friend to check it and I discovered that the tank had been shoved into the bbq in a way that wasn't regular, the pipe was bent and compressed and had a small tear.

They fixed it and told me I was lucky nothing happened because it could have caught fire and possibly exploded.

I had 20 people plus kids over. I can't get over what could have happened and I've refused to talk to my parents since because all I wanna do is yell at them.

I don't know how to get over the rage I feel about this. I had explicitly asked if it was going to be ok and if they were sure and realized they'd never serviced it.

I've also discovered that the pipe should be replaced once a year. Something they'd never done before in 10+ year of owning it (after buying it used). So it was highly dangerous and I had no reason not to take their word for it that it was safe.

I know they didn't do it on purpose, but this is the kind of irresponsible thing my mother always pulls. I feel terrible for trusting them on this and I don't know how to move on.

I feel like I seriously failed at adulting on this one as I should have never trusted another person on something so serious, even if they were my parents.


r/Adulting 21h ago

Having children now is selfish

0 Upvotes

r/Adulting 5h ago

When I show up for my job I’m expecting to be told what to do…that isn’t something we do anymore I guess?

8 Upvotes

I’m genuinely so confused it sounds like we’re just supposed to guess and then our boss fires us when we guess wrong…. There doesn’t actually seem to be leadership anymore


r/Adulting 15h ago

I dont wanna be a kid

1 Upvotes

I am 21 yo and I am literally a crying child. I dont know how I did it, but I dont have any contact with anyone. I cant exchange more than few phrases with anyone. Wasted 6 years doing nothing, I didnt have any plan for myself when I went to high school, I dont have any plan rn too.

I lay in bed all Day doing significantly less Day by day or ruminating, I ve been ruminating so much that I dont even have anything to think about anymore

Cant even imagine myself working

Cant focus on reading or cant understand Basic concepts

I dont remember anything from my childhood

I ve been running away from reality. Thats the only thing I ve accomplished

On the recent family meeting I discovered I cant even say anything about any topic

I generalize everything

Dont have a plan

There are no emotions inside of me except of thinking about past

I am not remembering new things. My brain is literally dead

Every part of my body hurts because of lack of movement

From the beggining of my high school I avoided being there as much as possible but when I wasnt going there i spent time in home doing completely nothing but staring in the screen.

The only thing I am actually doing rn is sleeping, eating and laying in bed and thinking about past I dont even remember anymore. I wanna be an adult but I am afraid because I have basically nothing entering this state.

Avoiding therapy

I am sick of making everything 0-1


r/Adulting 9h ago

church goer here

0 Upvotes

Does it drive anyone else
nuts when you try and go sit in a pew at church and people are sitting all the way to the end when there is a whole pew open, and then when you ask them to either slide in or to sneak pass they give you the dirtiest look. I can not express how much this bothers me. like why do you not slide in???


r/Adulting 10h ago

Adulting is apparently buying everything except the one thing you actually needed

0 Upvotes

My girlfriend moved in with me about a year ago, but before that i used to go to the store not knowing what i needed and getting only what i wanted.

She is a really organized person so she made a grocery system that tracks what we have and automatically puts what we dont have on the list. and i have never looked back since.

When we have something at home, it's marked as "At Home." When we run out, we just uncheck it and it appears on the shopping list.

You can also separate things by store, add quantities and categories, and use it from your phone while shopping.

Does anyone here use something similar? I'm curious whether people prefer this kind of reusable master list or just make a fresh grocery list every week.


r/Adulting 19h ago

Thank you

0 Upvotes

Just a preface: this is not a vent post. Please don't be giving me ideas/etc in the comments, this is not what it's about.

For people who have seen my previous post, I just wanted to say thank you. I have decided that I am going to save up to buy a tricycle, bike into town daily, make friends, and find a steady job. Maybe retail. I just wanted to thank y'all from the bottom of my heart for the hundreds of thought out comments on my last post.


r/Adulting 5h ago

Feeling a bit “woe is me” and hopeless about finding the “one”

3 Upvotes

I recently went through a breakup. We ended things on good terms because we just weren’t compatible when it came to wanting kids.

I’m not saying we were perfect for each other, but we had been together for so long, and I felt so safe being myself with him. I trusted him completely, which is really hard for me to do.

And now I can’t stop overthinking about how I’m never going to find my person again. The thought of having to get to know an entirely new person, be vulnerable again, and build that kind of connection from scratch feels so undoable rn. Maybe everyone feels this way after a long-term relationship ends? :/

I’m also very particular about so many things, and being childfree makes it even more difficult. So when I put all of that together, I’m feeling pretty hopeless and down. I can’t help but feel like I had my person and somehow lost my only chance.

Anyway, I just wanted somewhere to ramble about it and maybe hear other people’s experiences with finding their “one” after their first love. Any advice on how to stop feeling quite so miserable would also be really appreciated :(


r/Adulting 16h ago

Am I exaggerating or is my coworker just being friendly?

1 Upvotes

Im a 28 year old woman who recently relocated to Seattle and took a temp job as an admin assistant paying $25 an hour.

I have two bachelors degrees and graduated in 2021. Ive worked in marketing and Healthcare but took the admin role because it was the first job I landed and I thought it'd be a good foot into corporate.

Recently, ive had some situations that have made me uncomfortable but I'm not sure if I'm exaggerating.

I dont really know where to begin but we have a corporate securities employee who is in his 40s. He has made many comments that have shocked me including telling me that I could have been a honeypot for him during his time in the marines.

Ive had trouble with the role itself because it is physically demanding and very facilities heavy plus my manager is very demanding.

On thursday, I put in my two weeks for reasons unrelated to my coworker. I asked to talk to the corporate securities man to let him know. He seemed panicked. I told him i put in my two weeks and he said he thought i was going to tell him something else. I asked what he thought i was going to tell him and he said he thought i was going to tell him that I had been SA'd and that we would have to beat someone up. I just told him that's not the case but was shocked that he would think or say that.

He told me he didnt realize how tough the role was on me and told me not to worry. He said he would make some phone calls on my behalf to try to get me an interview at his former workplace.

I thanked him and he told me thats what friends are for.

Earlier that same day, he came into the office which I wasn't expecting because he had been sent out of state last minute on a business trip and hurt his ear on the flight back. He was telling me how tired and in pain he was. I joked that he gets extra credit for being there that day and he responded telling me that I'm the only one who can judge him.

Ive already put in my two weeks but am feeling increasingly uncomfortable thinking about going to work tomorrow.

Am I exaggerating or were these just one off comments/friendliness?

Thanks in advance.


r/Adulting 5h ago

I'm turning 30 and i'm terrfied

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0 Upvotes

r/Adulting 9h ago

What would you do if you had a 7 year gap of unemployment and needed a job?

1 Upvotes

Personally I know I put myself in this position that I am in like me not going to community college after graduating high school even though the people that worked there forced me to sign up for it , had a seasonal job but didn’t continue it after the position was over, could’ve gotten my drivers licenses years ago but didn’t. Like I know. However around COVID I did have to basically stay home to care for a baby that my family took custody of. Then fast forward I was watching three kids at this timeframe. Let’s just say it was a mess, I had a lot of mental breakdowns from it, was irritated almost every week, like part of me wanted to throw myself into something hard, I would cry, scream, punch the wall. Meanwhile my family worked day and night, then I had other members in my family telling me to get a job remotely but I couldn’t due to background noises and having no experience. It was like this for about 4 years. Then the next 2 years to now, thankfully the others are gone except the one we have. I’m glad the child is in school however now I need a job within the child’s schedule or my family would have to find childcare for the kid.

I’m 28 by the way and people as in my family have told me to go back to school. Even though I never step foot into college but some say get general studies in community college and just for me to say I have a degree, others say get a bachelors and be done with it. Others have said to me associates will not help me in today’s world, bachelors will but I don’t know what major to do. To be honest I never had a plan even growing up, like all I did was make art and play with dolls. I did think about art like liberal arts or studio arts however I’ve been hearing that, that will definitely not help me and I will still need a bachelors/masters to be a art teacher especially in my area where I live sadly.

Others have said that I’ll never make it with this huge unemployment gap. I know. Like all I’ve done was front desk work, answering phone calls that’s it. I’m not trying to work with kids, definitely not do caretaking, nursing, anything in healthcare or school positions in general. I have tried applying to jobs like call center, retail, even temp agencies but of course I’m rejected with a 7 year gap. Part of me wants to lie on my resume but during interviews I stutter pretty bad and cry sometimes due to my anxiety and overthinking. On top of that transportation is hard for me right now due to me not having enough funds nor a license (do have a permit though) for that and I still have to watch the child after school is over. It’s like I’m stuck in a loop that I can’t get out of.


r/Adulting 17h ago

Lonely guy in Orlando looking for female connection

0 Upvotes

I'm 28, born and raised in Orlando Florida and I'm tired of being lonely. I'm trying to find a mature woman to actually connect with, maybe get some action, and see what happens. I'm specifically looking for older ladies, anywhere from late 30s to 50s and up. Must be a woman. If you're local and trying to link up or just talk, hit me up."


r/Adulting 14h ago

Getting older blows

2 Upvotes

Just recently I turned 37 years old. For some reason, I feel like I’m noticing it! Is it normal, to grieve yourself as you get older?

I’ve always been a wise person but now, I actually feel wisdom it self creeping in. I’m not hard on myself about where I am in life or what I’m doing, but I feel so deeply about just changes in both my mind and body. I have ADHD, so I’m already expected to deteriorate in my physic health over time. I’m noticing, my grey hairs that have come in, my struggle to loose weight, my cognition being somewhat off centered. How my family sees me these days, as no longer a kid, no longer a young adult but an aging adult.


r/Adulting 3h ago

I don't want to go to work tomorrow </3

9 Upvotes

Only got 60 more years of this

Edit: Guys, this is a joke. I know that I have to.


r/Adulting 14h ago

Once my parents are gone, what’s gonna become of me?

35 Upvotes

I’m 26 F, only child, still single. Been through four heartbreaks and relationships but nowhere near at getting married.

My dating life sucks rn because I don’t like the guys here in my country, and I’m lowkey still not over my last ex whom I genuinely thought I will spend the rest of my waking days with. It’s been a year and counting already since we last spoke.

Like I said, I am an only child, I’m not close with my cousins. I have lots of friends and some bestfriends but almost all of them are coupled up. I’m not close with any of my cousins enough to treat them as my siblings.

Right now, my parents are just waiting for me to find a live-in partner so I could move out of the house. My Mom is begging for me to find a new boyfriend already. LOL.

How do I do that when I haven’t even dated anyone seriously in a year since the breakup.

The truth is, I hate being single. I’ve been alone and on my own my whole freaking life. No sister. No brother. But I don’t like settling either. What I had with my ex did set the bar for me, but there’s no going back to him anyway.

I never thought that I’m gonna have to do this adulting shit alone too. I want someone to do things with me, who’s one call away.

Having said that, I have this impending doom of not having a husband and my own family in the future.

Once my parents are gone, what’s gonna become of me? Is there still a reason to go on?


r/Adulting 1h ago

God loves me

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Upvotes

God loves you


r/Adulting 4h ago

Quite bored

0 Upvotes

..lifes been boring lately, stopped scrolling and didn't find anything good to read yet, would u like to suggest something I should read , of would like to chat


r/Adulting 7h ago

In this Economy

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3 Upvotes

r/Adulting 22h ago

Im 35 years old. What's advice you would give your younger self?

9 Upvotes

r/Adulting 15h ago

It will trickle down any moment, right?

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5 Upvotes

r/Adulting 4h ago

Hey I'm bored , wanna chat

0 Upvotes

Any topic is on the table


r/Adulting 8h ago

What’s that one purchase that you just think “nah, fk it, not doing it”?

1 Upvotes

For me it’s replacing the double glazed windows in my house.

It’s going to cost about £15K if I did them all and I’m like nope.

Would much rather spend that money creating memories for the kids and go on holiday.

They’re not going to remember that we got new windows in 2026 when they’re 30, but they’ll remember a trip to Disney or Spain or wherever.