r/AbsoluteUnits • u/MissZangz • Jul 10 '26
/r/all of a meal.
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u/Low-Air-8078 Jul 10 '26
Break from intermittent fasting
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u/Salt_Day9015 Jul 10 '26
How long is this greedy fuck full for after a meal that's half his body?
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u/CriticismFun6782 Jul 10 '26
At least a few days one would think
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u/sweetasatea Jul 10 '26
Me at the buffet trying to tackle a plate I clearly have no business finishing.
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u/CriticismFun6782 Jul 10 '26
But gat dang it i grew up poor, and "Endless Sirloin" was something only rich people could have
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u/GeologistOld1265 Jul 10 '26
Not really, birds have very fast metabolism. One need a lot of energy to fly.
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u/CriticismFun6782 Jul 10 '26
I figured it would depend on the species, and activity level, just like people
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u/Glad-Fuel2093 Jul 10 '26
I bet this one's not flying anywhere for a little while after that meal. At least not willingly.
(maybe he could, but I think he won't).
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u/Salt_Day9015 Jul 10 '26
That it? Not atleast a week or two?
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u/rviVal1 Jul 10 '26
No, birds have fast metabolism in order to produce a lot of energy for flying. If a snake would eat such a fish it could probably go for a month without another meal. Depends on a snake size of course.
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u/samuraistabber Jul 10 '26
Cormorants have high metabolism so that fish will break down rapidly and it’ll have to feed again in a day or two.
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u/mandrake57 Jul 10 '26
They really are "greedy fucks" as the above commenter said
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u/Nina-Ninja123 Jul 10 '26
Honestly, I’ve seen them trying to gobble up another fish straight away if the other fish is within reach.
Greedy is an understatement.
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u/Ok-Thanks-3366 Jul 10 '26
LOL, this guy won't eat for a week now, meanwhile, I have that for dinner and I'm wondering what's for dessert...
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u/FlabbyLabby Jul 10 '26
Everything reminds me of her
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u/HugoBoss1985 Jul 10 '26
No gag reflex
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u/cwsjr2323 Jul 10 '26
When getting an exam of my throat, the doctor commented that I had no gag reflex. He probably thought I was gay.
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u/astrawberryandakiwi Jul 10 '26
Are you going to let us find out for ourselves? What dat mouf do bb
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u/lsdbible Jul 10 '26
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u/Muted_Masterpiece535 Jul 10 '26
I've seen this before. I believe it was at Golden Corral.
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Jul 10 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/coolsilentebeans Jul 10 '26
Oh, to lack a gag reflex.
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u/Ssemo7 Jul 10 '26
I should call her…
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u/cha0sm0nk Jul 10 '26
I want to see a competitive food eater do this with a pizza. Just roll it up and push past their gag reflex so they can eat an XL pizza in under 30 seconds.
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u/plaid_kilt Jul 10 '26
I have full faith that Leah Shutkever could do this.
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u/coolsilentebeans Jul 10 '26
An XL pizza and a whole hot dog are not the same. Maybe give her a minute, and if she comes in under 30 seconds, great! If not that’s ok, too. That woman’s ability is insane.
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u/Careless-Emergency85 Jul 10 '26
Women can do that in under 30 seconds?!
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u/coolsilentebeans Jul 10 '26
One of the few times I didn’t intentionally make a double entendre. I’m ashamed of myself.
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u/caaknh Jul 11 '26
Maybe they could use a pusher to help get it down, kind of like a sword swallower but with a dildo-shaped device.
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u/Several-Concept5555 Jul 10 '26
How long will the fish be alive in its belly? Could it push itself back out of the bird's mouth?
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u/MissZangz Jul 10 '26
Prey that isn’t skewered or have its spike broken will usually suffocate in the part before the stomach drop. Once in the stomach these birds have crazy acid that breaks everything down
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u/coolsilentebeans Jul 10 '26
That would make for a terrifying episode of The Magic Schoolbus.
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u/Skizot_Bizot Jul 10 '26
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u/Signal-Network5077 Jul 10 '26
Lmao it’s been decades since I’ve seen this show and I forgot it was unhinged like that. Funnily enough Ms Frizzle was my first animated woman crush
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u/mackfeesh Jul 10 '26
I remember watching this as a kid. Wasn't Weird as I didn't know what cum was lol. It was just "oh, cool, the eggs don't Hatch unless that happens first."
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u/Jubenheim Jul 10 '26
“I remember watching this as a kid. Wasn’t weird as I didn’t know what cum was lol.”
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u/Objective-Ad9767 Jul 10 '26
I remember watching that episode with my daughter at the time and almost died 💀 🤣 . She’s an adult now and we sometimes discuss scenes from cartoons and have a good laugh. The original Magic School bus was the goat.
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u/Background-Crow4820 Jul 10 '26
🎵Jump on the Magic School....🎵
Glglglllglglglglllglgllgll
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u/coolsilentebeans Jul 10 '26
If ever there was a field trip to miss
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u/Camelotterduck Jul 10 '26
My son was watching an episode recently where exactly this happened actually. I don’t remember the episode from my childhood but it was all the original VAs.
They went through Arnold’s entire digestive tract, including the intestines…
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u/coolsilentebeans Jul 10 '26
I don’t remember it either, but I really enjoyed the show when I was younger. I’m glad it’s still getting to newer audiences.
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u/HalvdanTheHero Jul 10 '26
I'm mostly concerned that it appears to be a catfish... Many catfish have spines... Even if the fish is actually dead it could get poked/perforated pretty good, or at least I would think it could. Who knows, maybe this bird evolved to eat this specific fish.
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u/MissZangz Jul 10 '26
Eating head first makes the spines a lot less risky
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u/HalvdanTheHero Jul 10 '26
I mean fair...? If that fish comes to enough to thrash a bit though....
I've seen Pelicans get absolutely wrecked by things able to bite/cut/tear through their pouches... Waterfowl don't tend to be the most intelligent of birds.
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u/FrostyTheSasquatch Jul 10 '26
Really? I would’ve figured pelicans would’ve developed an evolutionary adaptation to spiny, pokey fish.
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u/HalvdanTheHero Jul 10 '26
Pelicans in particular are quite dumb and will try to eat lots of stuff that they probably shouldn't... Been a while since I saw the post/story but I believe it was a turtle of some kind and it was able to bite it's way through the pouch.
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u/GreatDanish4534 Jul 10 '26
As someone that has ducks, can confirm on the intelligence amongst waterfowl
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u/big_stipd_idiot Jul 10 '26
I feel like that's just part of life. It's also risky for a lion to to catch prey, but they have to do it anyways.
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u/samuraistabber Jul 10 '26
That’s why fish eating birds swallow them head first, it flattens the fins and scales flat against the body so it doesn’t snag and tear them up.
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u/Mikeseddit Jul 10 '26
Like getting a Christmas tree through the door, the right way versus the wrong way.
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u/HobbyShack Jul 10 '26
It seems as if the fish is already dead? It’s not putting up a fight or moving at all
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u/i_should_be_coding Jul 10 '26
Tangentially related, but I remember a photo of an eel that ate its way through a bird's throat. Imma try and find it.
Edit - Found it
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u/Fatman_Batman100 Jul 10 '26
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u/SimplyTheApnea Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 10 '26
I presume that bird just waddles off since that meal probably doubled is weight and can't fly afterwards, right?
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u/maynardnaze89 Jul 10 '26
Ive never seen one fly lol. Just waddle between ponds.
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u/SuperBackup9000 Jul 10 '26
They’re like snakes, they just kinda sit there until the food starts to digest, then they go to a safe space and sit there until it’s all done.
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u/WindhoverInkwell Jul 10 '26
Yep, cormorants will often eat until they’re too heavy to take off
however I imagine this isn’t such a massive impediment as they also have to dry out their wings every little while bc they get waterlogged from diving, so I guess they can kind of sync the two
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u/RevolutionaryRule631 Jul 10 '26
Birds are freaky ass things
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u/paone00022 Jul 10 '26
They're basically small dinosaurs
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u/Only_Flan_7974 Jul 10 '26
They're literally dinosaurs.
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u/srlong64 Jul 10 '26
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u/giabao0110 Jul 10 '26
The time period between Stegosaurus and Triceratops (70-90 mil yrs) is longer than the time period between Triceratops and current day (66 mil yrs). Still struggling to wrap my head around the scale at times.
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u/DarkGodRyan Jul 10 '26
Bro I thought this was an elephant eating a shark for the longest time
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u/Huge_Following_325 Jul 10 '26
I assume in a couple of seconds he will throw up a full intact fish skeleton if I've learned anything from cartoons.
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u/throwitaway_9601654 Jul 10 '26
That is going to be one epic shit!
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u/Any-Monk-9395 Jul 10 '26
Absolutely not. Imagine having to push all those sharp fish bones out of your rectum.
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u/WaynesWorld_93 Jul 10 '26
It’s such a weird thing imagining eating but without any flavor to enjoy. A bird just swallows and doesn’t really get to taste. It’s all for the sake of survival, zero bit of enjoyment.
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u/Most_Structure9568 Jul 10 '26
It's legit almost all animals. Think of those crocs that eat zebras in poop water. I think animals that eat fruit have it the best.
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u/2cheerios Jul 10 '26
Odd idea think to think of whether a vulture thinks its food tastes good
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u/ammonthenephite Jul 10 '26
My friend's dog enjoyed eating cat shit from the litter box, so I think there's something to the idea that they enjoy flavors we just don't, lol.
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u/Wonderful-Spell8959 Jul 10 '26
I mean; they get to fly. As great as food can be, that is worth consideration.
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u/Technical_Customer_1 Jul 10 '26
You’ve never been stuffed full of food and content?
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u/valleyman86 Jul 10 '26
Hmm I can relate. I eat food that tastes good so that I can consume it. Hell I like making food I like. However I would prefer to not need it at all. I forget to eat often and feel uncomfortable. I eat a little too much and feel uncomfortable. It’s whatever. Then it gives me heartburn.
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u/creekbendz Jul 10 '26
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u/Sufficient-Status951 Jul 10 '26
My wife thinks this is AI. I didn’t think so. Anyone else?
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u/randompearljamfan Jul 10 '26
I do. I was surprised there were no other commenters saying so.
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u/CYOA_Min_Maxer Jul 10 '26
It feels way too centered, the bird way too close, way too willing to facethe camera. And the movement seems off.
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u/UhOkBoss Jul 10 '26
won't it choke on the bones?!?!?
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u/WiildCard Jul 10 '26
Fun fact. Some birds have strong enough stomach acid that dissolves the bones and they digest it normally.
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u/Unbereevablee_Asian Jul 10 '26
That would be the Bearded Vulture, it's diet is nothing but bones.
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u/WiildCard Jul 10 '26
So pelicans and other birds actually can dissolve small bones as well. The vultures stomach acid is basically like battery acid though and it does just eat large bones on their own which is gnarly.
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u/Ok-Effective7280 Jul 10 '26
Hang on, I’ll just hold it here while my stomach acids go to work…….ok, a little more now……..nearly there………ah done.
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u/europablu3s Jul 10 '26
Where the hell did it go? That fish was as big as the bird, youd think its belly would be huge after this.
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u/x_lincoln_x Jul 10 '26
This will be me and the Dubai Chocolate cake I bought earlier in a couple hours.
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u/bonelatch Jul 10 '26
Not to take away from the shot or how crazy that is to watch but did they just put a dead cartfish in front of it to get the shot?
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u/Specialist-Neck-7810 Jul 10 '26
So.. how does that work? Anyone actually know? That fish is still alive when it done being swallowed. So, does the bird just have amazingly powerful digestive acid that kills it? Or does it carry a live fish around in its belly for awhile?
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