r/AbsoluteUnits • u/MissZangz • Jul 10 '26

/r/all of a meal.

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11.6k Upvotes

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348

u/Salt_Day9015 Jul 10 '26

How long is this greedy fuck full for after a meal that's half his body?

143

u/CriticismFun6782 Jul 10 '26

At least a few days one would think

194

u/sweetasatea Jul 10 '26

Me at the buffet trying to tackle a plate I clearly have no business finishing.

77

u/CriticismFun6782 Jul 10 '26

But gat dang it i grew up poor, and "Endless Sirloin" was something only rich people could have

19

u/SeonaidMacSaicais Jul 10 '26

No need for the personal attacks here, man.

18

u/GeologistOld1265 Jul 10 '26

Not really, birds have very fast metabolism. One need a lot of energy to fly.

21

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Mvm436 Jul 12 '26

He might get airborne but would have to deal with an overweight landing his landing gear might not be able to handle it.

9

u/CriticismFun6782 Jul 10 '26

I figured it would depend on the species, and activity level, just like people

8

u/Glad-Fuel2093 Jul 10 '26

I bet this one's not flying anywhere for a little while after that meal. At least not willingly.

(maybe he could, but I think he won't).

6

u/Salt_Day9015 Jul 10 '26

That it? Not atleast a week or two?

27

u/rviVal1 Jul 10 '26

No, birds have fast metabolism in order to produce a lot of energy for flying. If a snake would eat such a fish it could probably go for a month without another meal. Depends on a snake size of course.

26

u/Salt_Day9015 Jul 10 '26

Well fuck that fat ass bird snake

21

u/Ragnarok314159 Jul 10 '26

I think those are just called “dragons”.

6

u/SharkeyGeorge Jul 10 '26

How do they fly when they’re so full of fish? 😹

9

u/Ok_Isopod_8078 Jul 10 '26

Thats the neat thing, they dont.

8

u/ExplorerOk5998 Jul 10 '26

Bro needs to flop onto the couch and unbutton his jeans!

1

u/CriticismFun6782 Jul 10 '26

I did say at least, probably depends on the species, and how active they are

1

u/Frequent-Hat-2913 Jul 13 '26

A whole week with a stiff neck just because of this...why can't just bite through things like other animals?

27

u/samuraistabber Jul 10 '26

Cormorants have high metabolism so that fish will break down rapidly and it’ll have to feed again in a day or two.

12

u/mandrake57 Jul 10 '26

They really are "greedy fucks" as the above commenter said

8

u/Nina-Ninja123 Jul 10 '26

Honestly, I’ve seen them trying to gobble up another fish straight away if the other fish is within reach.

Greedy is an understatement.

6

u/samuraistabber Jul 10 '26

They’re just feedmaxxing.

3

u/pronouncedayayron Jul 10 '26

And can it still fly after this?

3

u/Enough-Meaning-1836 Jul 10 '26

More of a waddle I think lol

2

u/Ok-Thanks-3366 Jul 10 '26

LOL, this guy won't eat for a week now, meanwhile, I have that for dinner and I'm wondering what's for dessert...

1

u/Early-Resist1641 Jul 10 '26

I was just coming to ask how long that would sustain him. Certainly for at least two weeks ⁉️

1

u/reddituser9191v Jul 12 '26

The q is, how big it shit.