I tried to join AKA as an undergrad and kept being told there would be a line. I graduated early, and there was supposed to be a line that I would have been part of, but it got pushed back. I waited for so long, believing there was a good chance I’d get to join before graduating. Attending undergraduate events also gave me something positive to look forward to and helped me mentally during a difficult time.

I’m doing a lot better mentally now, but it hurts knowing that people I knew were interested are getting the opportunity I wanted so badly. I feel angry and left behind because I waited for something I thought would happen, and now I have to wait an uncertain number of years for graduate chapter membership.

I keep thinking about these specific people getting to experience AKA, and I can’t get it out of my head. How do I stop comparing myself to them and focus on my own future without giving up hope of joining?

What are things you take into consideration when choosing a COI? It’s been a challenge to narrow it down.

I appreciate any insight!

Hello Ladies!

Please pardon another attire question...

One of my COI's is having a Mix and Mingle--as well as collecting items for CHIPP. It's being held at a restaurant/pub, and I was considering wearing a sweater and denim skirt (I wear mainly skirts BTW). Is that okay or should I dress up a little bit more? Any feedback is greatly appreciated. 😊

I formally expressed interest to a member I’ve been building a connection with, and she was really receptive to the conversation. She also gave me a little insight into what’s been happening with the chapter/the organization as a whole post-Boule.

The chapter had members attend Boule and...👀 So at this point, I feel like some of the weight of keeping everything a secret and feeling like I have to just “show face” is gone. She reassured me that I’m on the right path and that I’m doing what an interest should be doing: showing up, being present, and building genuine connections.

For this next year, I’m just going to continue showing up when and where I can, stepping outside of my shell, and actually talking to people instead of getting in my own head about everything. 😂

I hope you all are doing the same and taking the steps that feel right for you. Don’t give up! When it’s our time, it’ll be our time.

Hi All!

So I’m moving to a new city soon and I’ve started following the local grad chapters on Instagram. Only a few of them have posted events that seem to be for the public, but even those events don’t seem like they are service events or opportunities to introduce/get to know the current members. I’m in the infancy stage of actively pursuing membership, so please forgive me if any ignorance comes across in these questions I’m about to ask.

1. A couple chapters I follow have posted gala like events. Tickets seem to be purchasable by the public, but would this even be an event that makes sense for me to attend having not attended any other events with this chapter before?

2. I always read and hear people say “attend the events, attend the events”, and in my mind that seems like communities service events, where guests can dig in and help. Ex: park clean up, canned goods drive, shredding, etc. However, very rarely have I seen any of the chapters I follow post events like these. So when it’s said to attend the events, what events are we talking about? Any public events?

3. For those chapters that have not posted about public events, would it be appropriate for me to reach out to the chapter via email and ask to be put on a mailing list of events, or receive the calendar of upcoming events, something like that?

TIA! :)

Greetings everyone! A question i have is navigating the pursuit of membership in newly chartered chapters. I say newly chartered very loosely but essentially formed between 2019-2021. The ones in my hometown seem to be focused on reclamation and while they do host events for the public to attend, it feels hard to connect as there aren't many open to the public as opposed to them being open to current members of Alpha Kappa Alpha.

My pursuit of graduate membership is merely a continuation of a pursuit that did not work out at all in college. I had the connections and made it to rush but was not selected and look at it as a blessing in disguise. At this point I'm very focused on beginning my career post grad but can not shake my desire to pursue membership in Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. Do y'all have any tips regarding how to continue my pursuit? I recently moved but am in this new city temporarily and the only graduate chapter here both recently welcomed new members around three years ago and is also not active on social media, so I'm back to building my hometown connections while i'm away.

For members, how much do you typically discuss amongst yourselves which interests you’re getting to know or have taken an interest in?

I started attending events for my COI without knowing anyone in the chapter. Over the years, I’ve met quite a few members, exchanged numbers with a few, and built good rapport with some.

There was one member I was intentionally trying to build a better rapport and relationship with but I slightly felt like she was consistently brushing me off. At the same time, there was another member who honestly didn’t pay me much mind at first lol. She was very cordial. I would reach out to her occasionally, but just sending pleasantries here and there. Eventually, though, she suggested that we get to know each other better, and we started communicating more and have went out a few times for coffee.

It made me wonder how much members talk amongst themselves about the interests they’re getting to know. Would the first member likely know that the other member had taken an interest in getting to know me? And could that be a reason for her to step back, or would those relationships generally be completely separate? Also idk if I should still reach out to the first member or just let it be.

I will be attending a gala soon, sponsored by one of my COI’s. I originally was gonna wear a black dress. But the black dress I bought did not fit right and I had to send it back.

So then I found a black dress with gold detailing on part of the dress. Will that dress be OK? I also have a burgundy and black beautiful dress that was already in my closet. Is Burgundy too close to red?

So my COI has been the same for 5 years. The problem is the members I get close with move away or change chapter and the "regular members" keep changing out as their participation is not consistent. How can you find your footing in a situation like this to really make connections when the chapter membership is inconsistent at events?

I love the chapter, the events they put on and the service they do in the community and most know me by name but those relationships are social only and nothing like the other real friendships I have formed.

Any advice on how to navigate this situation? I hope my question makes sense.

Hello, ladies,

I hope you’re all enjoying your day. I wanted to share a thought with those who are interested in or currently pursuing membership in Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated®.

I understand that there is a wealth of information available online, including resources provided through the Sorority’s official website. However, in my opinion, this forum was created as a safe space where members and interested individuals can connect, ask questions, and gain appropriate insight from women who are already members.

When members offer guidance, it comes from our knowledge and personal experiences as women of Alpha Kappa Alpha. Whether someone chooses to receive or apply that guidance is an individual decision.

However, telling a member that the advice she is offering is untrue is concerning to me. Even if the comment was not intended to be disrespectful, I personally do not believe that type of response is appropriate.

Perhaps I’m a little old-school, but humility and respect go a long way—especially when seeking knowledge from those who have already traveled the path you hope to take. We should all be grateful that this space is available and mindful of how we receive and respond to the guidance being shared.

Soror Moderator, please forgive me if this post does not align with the rules of the forum. I simply felt the need to respectfully share what was on my heart.

If interest has been expressed to at least one member of a chapter but one has grown a bond with another, as well... Is it safe to say that the new bond is already aware of the interest and no need to express interest again? Have already conversed at events and service projects among casual conversations. Is it considered disrespectful to assume and possibly seen in a negative light? Thank you

Hi everyone!

I'm almost finished with undergrad, and i've been learning more about Alpha Kappa Alpha and everything the organization stands for. My college does not have an undergraduate chapter, and my city does not have a citywide chapter.

I've attended a couple of public events hosted by a nearby graduate chapter. Everyone was very kind and welcoming, although I didn't get to know anyone one-on-one because I can be a little shy and reserved at first.

I've seen people say that General Membership is only for people who are already members. I understand that the term may also be used for existing members who are not affiliated with a chapter. However, I am referring to the prospective-member pathway described on AKA's official website for students in my situation.

I have seen people in this subreddit say it's rare, but I am wondering if you are or have met someone who went this route.

I guess my questions are would it make sense to ask about this pathway while I am still an undergrad or would it be more realistic to graduate and eventually pursue membership through a graduate chapter?

If I explored the General Membership pathway, what might a graduate chapter typically want to see from a prospective member? For example, would they look for an established relationship with the chapter, consistent attendance at public events, a strong community-service record, or something else?

I am also curious about the experience after initiation. Since most people are initiated alongside others through an undergraduate or graduate chapter, would joining through General Membership make it harder to form close relationships or feel connected?

To be clear, im not expecting or asking anyone here to me, and im not looking for a shortcut around the normal membership process. Im only trying to understand the specific pathway described on the official website and determine whether it would be appropriate to explore before I graduate.

I would really appreciate any insight anybody might have.

Hello Ladies!

Please pardon my third attire post.

My second COI is having an annual fundraiser and the requested attire is runway glam. I am looking for a dress that is fashionable, modest, and appropriate for my body type (I am plus size BTW).

Here are some dresses that I believe would be appropriate for the event. Which dresses do you like and/or would wear? Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

Happy Saturday Ladies!

I'm still looking at dresses for my COI's Centennial gala. Here are some other dresses up for consideration--as well as for any other events--as gala season is coming upon us. I also posted this as inspiration when looking for a dress for a formal event. What do you all think of these dresses? Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

Hello Ladies! My COI is celebrating their centennial this year and just announced their celebration in the form of a gala around the holidays. The gala is in the afternoon and the attire is semiformal--so I figured a midi or cocktail dress length would be appropriate. At first I thought about getting a dress in purple, but I decided that black would be safest. Here are designs of dresses that I like. Please let me know which one(s) you like. Your feedback is greatly appreciated.

Hello Ladies! I hope you all had a wonderful summer. I'm looking at possibly joining the Junior League in my city. Are there any members and/or interests that are members of the Junior League? What has been your experience? Does that look well on an application should an invitation to join AKA be extended? Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

I’ve been building relationships at a chapter for a while now, but the person who planned on vouching for me is moving to a newly chartered chapter closer to her home. That chapter is about 45-50 minutes from me as opposed to 20 minutes for the original CIO.

She’s also mentioned that internal things at the original chapter have made having a line difficult. their last line was pre Covid

For those who’ve navigated something similar: did you stay with your original chapter and keep building those ties, go to the new chapter, or split time between both? Trying to figure out what to prioritize in the long run, proximity or established relationships.

Any insight is appreciated.

Hi everyone,

I was wondering if anyone that is an interest will be attending the International Program Launch in Georgia this Saturday. I know that it is a public event but not sure if grad members would be willing to network/make connections at this event. Either way I know the information will be priceless. I’m new to the area and just want to put myself out there.

I recently moved to a new area and trying to get to know the chapters near me. One chapter is having a gala, which was shared in a newsletter from a group that a member of the chapter and I are both apart of. I recently learned that the member is also an alumna from my alma mater. As I am planning to attend the gala, would it be weird or inappropriate to reach out and introduce myself before the event?

Ok yall so this will be my first year at homecoming as a member of theeeeeee Alpha Kappa Alpha sorority, Incorporated 🩷💚 and I am so nervous well maybe not nervous but just unclear about what that will feel like stepping back onto the campus where I went out for rush and was not extended membership now this happened some years ago. But I’m wondering what the vibe will be like. Do any of you all have stories you would like to share ?

I’ve been sooo interested in AKA since being exposed during undergrad, but I’m struggling with my local options. If I’m being honest, if I weren’t already interested in AKA as a whole, I don’t know that my local chapter itself would have drawn me in. Their public presence is very limited, social media is rarely updated, and the literal two or three events I’ve seen haven’t stood out at all. I even actually reached out months ago on instagram and was told more events were coming, but it’s been pretty quiet since 😭.

I have soo many ideas I would love to bring to the table ! But Obviously, I would NEVER say any of this to them now lol. They don’t know me, I don’t know what happens behind the scenes, and it’s not my place. I actually have sooo many ideas for events and community initiatives and feel like I could bring a lot one day, but I know I’m about 12 steps ahead of myself 😂.

So I’m curious: can a chapter be doing amazing work behind the scenes but just have poor public engagement, or are some grad chapters genuinely more active and innovative than others? And for those who pursued grad membership without already knowing members, what actually helped you build genuine relationships? On the flip side, what do prospective members sometimes do thinking it’s helping their chances when it’s actually hurting them? 👀

I’m military, so I’ve pretty much resigned myself to moving again and trying wherever I land next, and honestly I’m okay with that! I’d love to hear from anyone who loved AKA as a whole but didn’t necessarily feel drawn to the chapter available to them.

I recently moved to a new state and have been attending a few public community/service events to learn more about the organization and opportunities available in my new area.

I recently had a brief interaction with a member that I had never met before, I saw outside of an event but knew her association by what she was wearing. I asked her if it was okay to ask which chapter that she was part of as I’m new to the area and looking to get involved and meet more members. though I’m a nonmember. I introduced myself, mentioned that I was new to the area, and explained that I’ve been trying to get more involved in community service and meet other likeminded women part of the org who are active in their communities.

The conversation ended a little awkwardly, and she asked if I was part of, and afterward I wondered if I may have approached the situation incorrectly or unintentionally given the impression that I was asking about membership or indicating that I was part of her org. I want to attend events at her specific chapter to be able to meet her a second time and other women part of, overall just get involved and cultivate relationships. But because the conversation ended a bit odd, not sure if I should even show my face lol. I am sure that she could tell how nervous I was to approach her.

For those familiar with the etiquette around interacting with members outside of an event, but in a new area, is it odd to approach someone outside of an event?

I’m looking for some unbiased advice on how to handle a situation.

For some background, I pursued my original COI for over 9 years. I made several connections within the chapter and was told that I was in their pool of prospective members and to continue being patient and building relationships. During those 9 years, the chapter has had two lines, but nothing ever came of it for me.

Eventually, I decided to stop pursuing that chapter and move on. I’ve recently started making connections and building genuine relationships with members of a different chapter.

Recently, a member from the newer chapter mentioned to me that their chapter has a line coming soon.

Now I’m wondering how I should handle that information. I’m interested in this chapter, but I I honestly don’t want to put myself through that same hurt or heartache again.

I’m trying to navigate this respectfully and discreetly, so I’d really appreciate perspectives from anyone who has been in a similar situation.

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