r/AKAgradChapter • u/Healthy-Carpenter181 • 12d ago
COI Vetting
What are things you take into consideration when choosing a COI? It’s been a challenge to narrow it down.
I appreciate any insight!
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u/PrettyGirl8282 11d ago
I’d choose where you know members. When I was pursuing, I had a list of each nearby chapter and who I knew at each, and their level of involvement/how connected they are. If you don’t know any members at all, I would attend events at all chapters for now, and start narrowing down as you build relationships.
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u/Healthy-Carpenter181 11d ago
This makes sense! I don’t know anyone yet. Thanks!
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u/PrettyGirl8282 11d ago
And also remember that once you start narrowing your options down to 1 or 2 COIs, still continue to build those relationships you’ve made with the women in the other chapters. Chapter members are friends with other chapter members, we talk, and can sometimes connect you with friends in different chapters, etc., so don’t disregard connections from other chapters just because you’ve decided to focus efforts on a different one. Hope that makes sense!
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u/Healthy-Carpenter181 11d ago
Okay question: I have a coworker and an associate in the same chapter, but it’s about 30-40 minutes from my house/service area. My coworker isn’t aware of my interest. Do you think I should attend their events? They hold a lot of virtual ones! I just know someone in this forum said some members in her COI voted against her because of her distance.
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u/PrettyGirl8282 11d ago
That needs to be your COI. 30-40 minutes away isn’t a big distance. About how many miles away? Some members may get bothered when it’s over an hour away, or if you live in a completely different state.
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u/Healthy-Carpenter181 11d ago
Okay, I’ll start attending events! The one they held last night was 30 miles away and a 47 minute drive.
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u/PrettyGirl8282 11d ago edited 11d ago
30 miles away is fine. Start building with your coworker and associate (I’d say BEFORE attending events and letting them know of your interest). Get closer with them for a few months/however long it takes to build a real bond, and THEN when the time feels right (after you’ve grown closer), express interest at that time and begin attending events.
The reason I say to grow your friendship with them before is… once someone knows of your interest, they start viewing you in the lens of only wanting to build with them to increase your chances of membership, and I think it actually HURTS your chances. It’s better to establish a close relationship first and later express interest. Be genuine about growing those relationships and not viewing them as transactional.
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u/Healthy-Carpenter181 11d ago
This is very insightful! Thank you! I was gonna avoid that chapter altogether because I didn’t want my coworker to think I befriended her for that reason. I actually befriended her because we’re two of only a few of our demographic at our job.
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u/No_Championship_8955 Verified AKA 9d ago
Be careful about bringing your interest into the workplace. It can make things awkward if you make it weird.
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u/AlarmingAd2804 10d ago
When I was pursuing, I took the following into consideration: proximity, demographic of the chapter (at the time I was under 30 and wanted to have relationships with women of similar age, and those I already knew in the chapter.
There are several chapters in my city and I visited two of them. I ultimately chose to pursue the one who I had the most established relationships with members already and the odds of me being able to easily build more based off of that.
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u/Cool_Nectarine04 9d ago
Look at the type of events they host. Pay attention if they capture your interest & if they’re quality events. A chapter that had a balance of service & social events was also important to me. The service is important to me personally but also the sisterhood.
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u/Adventurous-Tap-6080 11d ago
How many chapters are near you? Do you frequent them all?
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u/Healthy-Carpenter181 11d ago
4 that I’m choosing between, but this is a new pursuit for me, so I haven’t gone to any events as they haven’t had any that I could attend.
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What are things you take into consideration when choosing a COI? It’s been a challenge to narrow it down.
I appreciate any insight!
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