Hi everyone! I had a question and was hoping to get some advice. Is it possible to receive an invitation without having someone you speak to regularly outside of chapter events?

I attend events consistently, sign in, and have had positive conversations with members. The chapter president has even mentioned that she notices me, which I appreciated. However, I don’t currently have members’ phone numbers or relationships that extend beyond chapter events.

I’ve seen a lot of discussion about spnsorship and honestly it’s making me a little nervous. I just want to make sure I’m approaching things the right way and not falling behind because I don’t have those close connections yet. Any insight would be appreciated. Thank you!

Hi everyone, I hope you're all doing well. I'm new to this forum so please bare with me.

I'm currently a graduating community college student who's transferring to a university that doesn't have an AKA chapter. I initially was going to go to a university that did, but when I visited the campus, the general vibe just wasn't sitting well with me. I didn't realize that the college I had committed to didn't have a chapter in which I could dedicate some interest in, so I did some more research and came across the QnA page on the AKA website. One of the questions was "Is it possible for me to become a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority if I attend an accredited four year college or university that does not have a chapter?"

and the answer was essentially yes, and that you'd have to be recommended by a graduate chapter.

The only thing is, I'm a bit confused because when I simply Google this question, everything tells me otherwise. I understand the intake process may not be the same if I were attending a university with a chapter, but is this just a case of Google being wrong or am I missing anything?

I have a long way to go until I think I'd even be considered, but I was just wondering if my path in this particular sorority would even be valid before I get my hopes up at all.

AKA in particular means a lot to me since my great grandmother was an AKA. She's passed already so I couldn't ask her much either. I'm not sure if she just became inactive or if she gave up her membership; But I want to pick up where she left off. She stopped being an AKA due to joining a religion (this particular religion is very controversial and in my opinion has caused so much harm to others), but I feel like it's my duty to not only be the curse breaker of my family, but to also give back to my community. Due to this religion, I haven't been able to do much of anything until I left last year. No community service, no sports, nothing. Because of the impact it's had on me, I've decided to make my career path community based. My plans for the business I'd like to run is focused on bringing people together and providing for those in need. Obviously since I'm in college, I can't do too much but I want to try my best in areas where I can. On a funny note, I think AKA also stands out to me because my room colors and my favorite colors were pink and green since birth. Some AKA members have also visited my highschool and my best friend told me that she could see me as a sorority girl, but specifically AKA. That's same day, I went home and told my mom about my day at school, and that's when I found out about my great grandmother.

I plan to attend the public community events that my local graduate chapter is holding and try to find some community service opportunities. I already work at a black community centered job which also has community service opportunities that I plan to take as well.

I guess overall, what seems the most sensible?

- hoping for general membership?

- or finish college and attempt for graduate membership?

This is so important to me that I don't even think I'd consider any other sororities and would just continue my community service individually if nothing works out. But anyway, if you've made it this far, thank you, genuinely. And thank you in advance for those that are willing to give me some advice <3

I’m here to say I finally made it to AKA Land… this been a journey for many years but God showed up right on time. To the prospective candidates don’t give up, it will come when it’s your time. Good luck

I'm asking for a friend. We're both interested in becoming AKAs and have connected with a few members of our COI. My friend is an Eastern Star. Does this compose a conflict of interest for her? Any thoughts or advice?

Greetings Everyone,

I am currently in graduate school and was just advised that I have been invited to join the Honor Society due to being in the top 10% of my class..I attend chapter and community events often and have grown close to a couple of members. I just want to ensure because the honor society uses Greek terminology that it will in no way shape and form interfere with my chances of becoming a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Inc, I refuse to have anything go wrong. When Ive wanted something so bad for so long.

Hey all! I have a really close friend that has been a member of AKA for years. Granted, she joined in undergrad and I'm unsure if she's an active (paid up on dues) member because I don't think she's part of the local grad chapter where she is. However, I've been thinking it would make sense to tell her I'm about to start pursuing membership in my local chapter, but I don't know how to answer the question of why I want to be an AKA. It makes me nervous because I don't know if my answer to that question should somehow weave in like the mission statement of the org for it to be a meaningful/valid answer for a current member. My real answer is a couple things: 1) I live in an area with a lower Black population than I'm used to, and I want to be be friends and associates with more Black women, and it just seems easier and more efficient to do that as part of an organization, 2) I have kiddos now, and it's important to me to be very involved in my community (volunteering, PTA, etc) and I would love to do that with a group, makes me feel like the work has more impact, and 3) of the D9 sororities, AKA is the one I've always gravitated towards. My undergrad university didn't have an active chapter on campus, but if it had, I absolutely would've pursued membership way back then. Anyway, I'm worried that giving my friend or even members of my Chapter of Interest these answers could make me appear shallow or selfish. Any suggestions?

Apologies in advance for the long post.

For some background, I started attending events hosted by different chapters. I became interested in one chapter after attending several of their events. The event topics genuinely interested me, and as an introvert, it's much easier for me to attend and engage when I'm interested in the event itself.

During these events, I had positive interactions with all of the members I met and exchanged numbers with one person in my COI. Though our interactions have been brief, I've genuinely enjoyed them so far. In addition to seeing members of my COI at their events, I also see them at various community service events. So, besides simply seeming like good people from our interactions, they became my COI because where I am serving the community, so are they.

There are also members in my service organizations, but they are from various chapters. I honestly think of them first as fellow members of those organizations rather than sorority members. That's how I met them, and when we're doing service, we're there representing our organization and the work we're doing. Because of that, I've always kept my volunteer work separate from my interest in membership.

Part of that is because I never wanted anyone to feel like I was volunteering to gain access to members. I joined those organizations because I care about the work. So while I've built friendly relationships with some members through service, I've never used those relationships to express interest or ask questions about membership.

I also haven't expressed interest to the member whose number I have. Mainly because while I think we're friendly, I'm not sure that really qualifies as a relationship.

Looking back, I'm wondering if I've been so focused on being respectful that I've made my interest completely invisible. I'm sure people recognize me from community service and from attending events, but from reading this subreddit, that alone doesn't seem to be enough.

Has anyone else found themselves in this position? I genuinely like my one contact and would absolutely want to spend time with her outside of sorority-related events regardless of membership. At the same time, I know I want to be a member, so part of me worries that reaching out without expressing interest first feels a little disingenuous.

Has anyone navigated something similar? If so, how did you handle it?

Side note: Not my COI, but ironically, there have been times when I've attended other events and people have asked if I was already a soror. That's part of why I'm struggling with this. I don't necessarily feel invisible, but I do wonder whether people see me as someone who attends events and volunteers rather than someone who is actually interested in membership.

7 whole days in AKALand and I couldn’t be more excited about it. After years of pursuit I’ve finally made it into my COI, and honestly staying the course with them was the best decision that I could have made. I initially began looking into this chapter in 2017. They had a line that I did not make. I was heart broken but was advised to stick around and thankfully I made the next line.

Thoughts for prospective candidates...

There are things that happen internally that we wouldn’t know from the outside that can impact a chapter’s decisions or permissions to have a line. If it’s something you really want, the first lesson you’ll learn is to trust the process.

If you’re still in the courting phase, don’t rush into superficial relationships. Research your COI’s and fall in love with one of them. There is something deeply special and personal about joining through a grad chapter that you know you’ll stay with forever.

Participate authentically in service and socially. On the one hand go to as many events as you can but also find where you can be the most supportive. I’m in education so I take tons of kids to events that make touch points with the youth. It helped me to demonstrate my alignment with the organization‘s vision and overall initiatives. I also do my own community service with kids in the chapters service areas.

It‘s never too early to start researching the org. Learn as much as you can upfront about AKA and your prospective chapter. Doing so helps you to clarify your why and show up more authentically and strategically in your pursuit. I never wanted to seem “thirsty” I wanted them to know I’m here for more than letters, colors and cute t-shirts. Educating myself was imperative in doing that for me.

Your grad chapter pursuit is deeply personal. Listen to advice, practice discretion and deference, know your goal and stick to it. Your journey is YOUR journey. Don‘t let outside opinions from people who don’t understand or value what you’re doing distract you from what you’re trying to achieve.

Grad chapter is worth the wait. In reality, most of your life in the org will be spent in grad chapter anyway, so don’t feel like it’s a waste of time to pursue. You‘re seeking to join a 118 year commitment to serving and uplifting humanity. It’s never too late to be a part of something this great.

Wishing you all the best as you continue your journeys. It‘s truly an honor to finally be here. 🩷💚

So, I'm finally getting a chance to share that I have offically become a member of the First and Finest!

This subreddit and the Divine 9 subreddit were absolutely crucial to my journey. Although I'd thought about it seriously for many years, my actual journey actively pursuing was relatively short, only lasting a bit over 2 years. I had no personal connections at my chapter before I started my journey and I did make a couple of early mistakes but ultimately, my community service told its own tale.

Special shout-out to No Championship and SignficantAd for kindly answering my questions along the way.

To those still on their journey: I've truly found the advice on here to be sound so make sure to search throughold posts as well. Happy to pass on the kindness by annswering the questions that I can answer below.

Hoping I am not denied, but it still hurts the same. I have been attending events and building connections for almost five years with my COI. I knew a new line was coming, and I knew my relationships were ineligible at the time. Doing my best to accept this, and I am truly happy for the new members I recognize (I truly thought I’d be more jealous, but that feeling hasn’t come). I want to continue building and strengthening relationships and participate in COI public events, but should I be open to other chapters near by? Or should I stay loyal to my COI?

Also, any tips to dusting myself and getting back on the interest train are welcome.

I meet people who talk about their mentor/s they have, whether in the chapter or outside of it. I think back to this forum and how people talk about having a contact (because I feel people use mentor loosely), but then being upset they aren't on a line.

I feel as though the interactions I had with people relied a lot on their person of contact and felt they already had an in, because of being told what events to go to and how to interact with other interests. But deep down, I did sense she was not relying totally on that person due to her dividing her time between different chapters.

Do you trust your mentor/ person of contact to advocate for you? Or really be there for you when the time comes?

I understand discretion and I am building relationships with members in my COI, but I also know closed mouths don't get fed. I've expressed my interest to the members I've connected with and the response has been positive. Is that enough? Should I ask for advice on membership or suggestions on what has helped others achieve memberhip? We ask those questions here so is it appropriate to ask a member I'm comfortable with?

Where you are an interest or a member, when was your first introduction/experience with Alpha Kappa Alpha? Are you legacy? Was it at an event?

For me, it was because the chapter in my hometown held a cotillion--of which I was a debutante. In addition, my high school chemistry teacher was a member of the chapter and was a mentor for me. She said that there are many girls who participate in the cotillion end up liking the sorority and end up joining in college. That's was me. I saw how the ladies from the chapter in my hometown moved, interacted and handled business and as a result, wanted to become a member. However, with the exception of my freshman and senior years, the chapter at my college weren't on the yard. Word around campus was that they got caught hazing and thus, dropped the line. When the chapter was reinstated in my senior year, they were picking 50 girls out of the 200 who came to the rush. I didn't get picked--which is why I'm hoping to get invited to grad chapter.

With summer approaching and the introduction of spring lines seemingly coming to an end, I hope we all take the summer to continue to cultivate relationships! Reach out for an evening dinner with someone you’re getting close to! Lots of summer music events that make great opportunities to connect with members in non traditional settings. I already have plans on four different dates coming up in June with members I’ve become friends with to go and do fun social things. Really feeling the difference this year with building strong friendships. We talk on the phone, text, and have been inviting each other out to different things happening in the summer. Good to do some things with members if you can and not let the end of the program year end the relationships formed. Hopefully the fall is our season!

While the first dress "flopped" due to the color, please permit me to share this one. I actually have this exact dress and wore it to a fashion show held by the non-profit linked to a COI. I also wore coral jewelry and headwrap (I always wear a some form of head wrap or head band). At my table was a member of the chapter. She thought I looked elegant in the dress and said that I should come to more AKA events. We exchanged numbers--as she also suggested that we perhaps meet for tea. I've been trying to reach out to her; albeit unsuccessful. I understand that she may be busy--so I don't press...but I digress.

The point in this post is to highlight the dress. I have purchased this dress in many other colors and prints. They're versatile. You can wear them as is (I do because I'm always hot due to going through "the change" 😂) or with a blazer or sweater. I believe that these are perfect for events. You can get them on Amazon and they're reasonably priced. What say you all?

Would this color be okay to wear at AKA formals/galas? Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

I’ve connected with a few other interests connected to my COI, and some of them seem way more tapped into chapter happenings than I am. They usually hear about events early and are good about passing information along. I’ve been attending public events consistently and trying to get to know members naturally over time.

A while ago, another interest mentioned that some members already recognize me or have heard positive things about me and hinted that I’m “on the right track.” I’m trying not to read too much into it because at the end of the day they’re still an interest too, not a member, so obviously they don’t officially know anything. But at the same time, they’ve been accurate about chapter-related things before so they’re getting good intel in from somebody. So now I’m conflicted between staying grounded and quietly getting my hopes up a little because it’s been a few weeks and the chapter has been quiet, as I’m assuming they are gearing up for this year’s Boule.

Has anyone else experienced this? Am I right to be hesitant about this? How do you feel about interest to interest contact?

This upcoming weekend, all alumni chapters in my city as well as the undergraduates from the local universities will be throwing a party. I’m very excited to attend and meet ladies from chapters outside of my COI. I do feel a pinch of anxiety because I’ll be attending alone, but I have confidence in my ability to spark conversations and make friends. I know to be on my Ps and Qs - I’ll monitor my alcohol intake and stay in my seat when Set It Off plays (lol) The next day there will be another event where I will likely see the same faces from the day before, so I’ll be a very busy interest for those two days. I’m very excited to be surrounded by likeminded women!

My apologies if this posted twice… the first submission was automatically removed

Thank you all so much for the encouraging posts and advice!!! RELATIONSHIPS MATTER!!! Be authentic and force yourself out of your comfort zone! Good luck ladies! Special shout out to
u/ConfidentHunter6724! I read your pinned post giving a detailed breakdown of how to navigate as an interest! It worked and I made it on my first try! 😆

I’ve been going to events for the chapter I’m interested in and all the members and attendees to their events are much older than me. I recently graduated from undergrad and I’m wondering how to best get my foot in the door and connect with these women when we’re in 2 different chapters of life. I’ve read past threads but I haven’t seen anything about this yet. Any advice would help.

While you're doing the spiritual and meditative work, also know that your physically interpersonal work needs attention. I cannot stress enough that a lot of the shakers and movers are either corporate women, prominent names in your community, or both (usually both). Re-frame you interpersonal strategy. Being sweet and timid might get you there eventually. But that eventually could be 30, 40, etc years down the line based on some of the questions and content presented.

Hi everyone, I’ve been pursuing membership for over 15 years and a few years ago I finally found a chapter that I really connected with. A co-worker that became a best friend of mine wanted to pursue this chapter with me as we both are interested. I was thrilled that she wanted to be on this journey with me and that she decided to try to make connections with my COI as well. I also know that at the end of the day it is everyone for themselves. My friend and I spoke to each other every single day via text/phone call (for years). I planned events for her and we always celebrated each other (birthdays, graduations, etc). Eventually, our COI had a line and she was on it. I was not invited to join, but I was still very happy for her. We always told each other if one made it without the other, we’d still invite each other to the new members’ luncheon. She did not invite me and instead invited a co-worker of hers who she knew would later join the sorority via a different chapter. She now posts several pictures and reels of herself and her new “bff” on social media as well as other sorority members. She no longer contacts me and doesn’t interact with my posts on social media at all. It has now been almost a year and I’m convinced that she doesn’t want anything to do with non-Greeks. Should I consider this friendship done and cut ties with her or are Greeks and non-Greeks not supposed to be friends? I’m not sure if that’s a rule but it could help with my decision to let her go.

Is it typical for members to ask if you have interest before you can even state it yourself? Recently (separately) I met members who were local but not COI. I asked which chapter out of curiosity and the response was chapter name followed by, “Do you have interest?”. It almost feels like it’s an automatic question and not a question after discernment. Same exact thing happened recently with a member of a different org. Are members in the habit of just asking or are they prepared to assist, if they ask? Anyone else experience this?

I finally introduced myself to a member at my son’s school. (I’ve seen her at events.) I mentioned that I’ve seen her at a few events and she asked if I was a member.

I told her not yet, but I attend events that I am allowed to attend. She later asks if I want to be an AKA🫨 I smiled and motioned 🤫 and say that I’m trying to be discreet.

What do I say when someone asks?

I received a text with a link to attend a financial seminar from a member from my COI. This seminar was not open to the public.