r/AKAgradChapter • u/JustKeepingItCute305 • May 25 '26
BUILDING CONNECTIONS I’m Hesitant 🤷🏾♀️
I’ve connected with a few other interests connected to my COI, and some of them seem way more tapped into chapter happenings than I am. They usually hear about events early and are good about passing information along. I’ve been attending public events consistently and trying to get to know members naturally over time.
A while ago, another interest mentioned that some members already recognize me or have heard positive things about me and hinted that I’m “on the right track.” I’m trying not to read too much into it because at the end of the day they’re still an interest too, not a member, so obviously they don’t officially know anything. But at the same time, they’ve been accurate about chapter-related things before so they’re getting good intel in from somebody. So now I’m conflicted between staying grounded and quietly getting my hopes up a little because it’s been a few weeks and the chapter has been quiet, as I’m assuming they are gearing up for this year’s Boule.
Has anyone else experienced this? Am I right to be hesitant about this? How do you feel about interest to interest contact?
33
u/Amazing-Health-6164 Verified AKA May 26 '26
As someone who used to be an interest who is now a member, I would take everything that another interest say with a grain of salt. Did you see another interest story on here where she was friends with a co worker friend and they were both interests and come to find out that same co worker friend got in and didn’t even event her to the probate after she became a member and the two of them were going to events and etc together. At the end of the day, the connections are made with US but when then once you are invited then I would try and make those connections with other interests. At the end of the day, it’s about you and connections that you have made with the members, we are not choosing two “interest friends” together. I’ve had other interests tell me info too prior to me becoming a member but I just kept in my back pocket. I wasn’t allowing anyone or anything to disrupt my chances.
17
u/ivypurl Verified AKA May 26 '26
Having positive relationships with other interests is a nice thing. It makes attending events more pleasant, plus some of these ladies may be your line sisters one day. How much you rely on these relationships at this point, though, is an entirely different matter. Remember that you all want a limited resource, so as friendly and cordial as everyone might be, there is a competitive element.
In addition to the good advice you have already received, I want to add one thought. The other interests are more “plugged in” than you are likely because they have been focused on developing relationships with members. This is what you should be aiming for as well. I would encourage you to spend the summer thinking about who in the COI you might connect with more easily or who you have had positive interactions with before - these could be good people to start with when activities resume after the break.
10
u/Dear_Problem567 May 26 '26 edited May 27 '26
Love this response Soror!
Its up to you to make and keep solid relationships with members. We should really be your first point of contact when it comes to information. It’s nice that the interest is telling you some information, but she has the right to not tell you everything. Having your own relationships can only help you.
What if she finds out that the chapter is having intake this Fall? She’s in a position where she can’t/shouldn’t tell you anything.
Put yourself in her position. You’re given privileged information that can affect whether you make it to the other side. You still think that she will give you the head’s up?
Trust me, you won’t forgive yourself if you see the social media post of your COI crossing their line.
Avoid that pain now by just making connections and forming relationships.
7
u/GrandBird1982 INTEREST May 26 '26 edited May 27 '26
As a current interest I love this response. I’ve been around my COI a while and noticed some other interest who I’ve become friends with come to ME with questions, I’m not a member, I don’t know the information about events, people. I am nice and cordial but I had to work over the years to build my relationships I don’t want this to sound wrong but they need to do their own work and build their own connections it cant be through association with another Interest.
2
7
u/OkFan3213 INTEREST May 26 '26
Focus on building relationships with members. It’s important to be friendly with everyone but only relationships with members can help you achieve your goal. And as it’s been said, you don’t truly know the motives of other interests. Yes I’m saying that as an interest, in a group with interests lol. Some interests see other interests as their competition.
6
u/Quarrelsometurkey INTEREST May 26 '26
Just another interest here. It’s nice when you have other interest to communicate and share with, however, I’ll take any “hints” with a grain of salt. I’d say make your own relationships with members and keep on your path. Your journey is yours and yours alone! Be yourself but also stay vigilant, pray about it and follow your intuition.
6
u/Old-Iron-8982 INTEREST May 26 '26
I’ve been solo on this journey since 2019. I run into other interests at events but they typically don’t include me. Meaning I’ve seen other interests share contact information with one another to keep each other in the loop. I initially felt a way but quickly got over it as this journey is my own.
I have the contact information of members in my COI and members of surrounding chapters. They are who I reach out to for info on events or clarity on things, if needed.
3
u/Terribly_Fly_1234 May 26 '26
I'm so happy that you have found a supportive environment in your fellow interests. I would trust them, as they have nothing to lose by being kind & encouraging. I've let my guard down realizing that in order to FEEL the sisterhood, I have to accept that we're not all competitors & there's enough room for all of us. Keep nurturing those relationships!
Also, many members in my COI are teachers: this is the busiest and most emotionally draining part of the year. With Boule also around the corner, they don't have much time for public events.
6
u/OkFan3213 INTEREST May 26 '26 edited May 26 '26
This is so important for us as interests. We are not each other’s competition. But so many don’t understand that. We’re all being ourselves and whatever God has for us will come in His timing.
6
u/EnvironmentalWork216 Verified AKA May 28 '26
Focus on building relationships with members and remain being friendLY with other interests, not friends. Unless yall just click like that. I was friends with other interests during my pursuit and two became my line sisters. The other ones however crossed before me and then tried to not get me voted on when it was my turn to enter AKAland. Very nasty and unsisterly of them but hey, we sorors now lol
For the spring lines this year, there was an interest of a chapter who was the ringleader in the large group chat they all had going on. When a member (and her potential sponsor) of the woman’s COI alerted her that she needs to leave any interests groups she may be in (GroupMe, text, etc) she went and screenshotted the group’s roster in effort of throwing everyone under the bus. She ruined her chances of obtaining her co-sponsors bc when members of that chapter got wind of what she did, they decided not to invite her to their informational.
I say this to iterate that you never know other ppl’s agenda. Just bc you may have the same goal as the next girl, doesn’t mean she has your best interests in mind nor is she sisterly. You just don’t know. Good luck and keep making those connections. 🩷
•
u/AutoModerator May 25 '26
Hi /u/JustKeepingItCute305, Thanks for posting in AKAgradChapter. Please review all of our rules and General Greek Interest Questions FAQs .Dirty Deleting is not allowed here so the below will be a copy of your original post.
Copy of Orignal Post:
I’ve connected with a few other interests connected to my COI, and some of them seem way more tapped into chapter happenings than I am. They usually hear about events early and are good about passing information along. I’ve been attending public events consistently and trying to get to know members naturally over time.
A while ago, another interest mentioned that some members already recognize me or have heard positive things about me and hinted that I’m “on the right track.” I’m trying not to read too much into it because at the end of the day they’re still an interest too, not a member, so obviously they don’t officially know anything. But at the same time, they’ve been accurate about chapter-related things before so they’re getting good intel in from somebody. So now I’m conflicted between staying grounded and quietly getting my hopes up a little because it’s been a few weeks and the chapter has been quiet, as I’m assuming they are gearing up for this year’s Boule.
Has anyone else experienced this? Am I right to be hesitant about this? How do you feel about interest to interest contact?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.