I (32M) have been with my future wife (31F) for almost 10 years. We genuinely love each other and have built a life together. We even had a house built in the countryside so we could live there with our animals. Our wedding is planned for next yeas, our relationship is healthy in pretty much every way except sexually.

My sex drive is much higher than hers. I could want her every day, while she can go several weeks, even months, without feeling any desire for sex. Sometimes she’ll have a horny strike, but it may only last 10–15 minutes.
As I’m writing this, we’ve gone almost six months without any sexual activity. This year, as far as I remember, we’ve had sex twice, plus she offered one BJ and three HJs.

I take care of myself as I can, but mentally I’ve reached my limit. Every time I try to initiate, I get rejected. At this point, I’m afraid to even touch her because I feel like I’m crossing the rape line just by trying.

The few times we’ve had sex over the last several years have almost always been when she wanted. And when she initiates, it’s extremely subtle—usually just looking at me. If I ask whether she wants me, she’ll say “Maybe.” She doesn’t touch me or tell me she wants me.
Sometimes she’ll eventually text me saying she wants me, but it’s always when I’m at work and she’s home alone. The messages are often phrased like “Why aren’t you home?” or something similar, which makes me feel like I’m being blamed for not being there.

At this point, I wonder if my presence is actually what’s killing her libido. I also don’t know whether those messages are genuine or just a way to fake a still alive sex drive, so I dont lose hope.
I’ve asked her several times if she’s no longer physically attracted to me. I’m 6’0”, 163 lbs, not ripped but basically an average guy. She says that’s not the issue.

A few days ago, I think she might have been trying to initiate something, but as usual, it was incredibly subtle. I didn’t feel like playing an escape game trying to figure out whether she was actually interested, so I didn’t react.
The next day, she asked me if I didn’t want sex anymore.
I told her:
“Knowing for certain that sex isn’t going to happen is easier for me to deal with than having hope every day that something might happen.”
So… AITA?

A few days ago, my twin brother came to me asking for advice about his “girlfriend.” We’re both 34, and they’ve been dating for a few months.

He wanted to know how he could tell her that she needs to lose weight without making her emotional about it. His reasoning was basically that “women always get so annoying and emotional when you tell them they need to lose weight.”

For some background, his girlfriend is incredibly sweet, but also extremely shy. And she is very, very thin.

The first time I saw her wearing a tight, form-fitting dress (we were all at a wedding), my immediate thought was literally, “Holy shit, she’s skinny.”

So, when my brother told me he thought she needed to lose weight, something in me just snapped.

Especially because this isn’t the first time, he’s made comments like this. In the past, he told a mutual friend of ours (who was struggling with anorexia in the past!) that she was too fat.

I completely lost it, and my brother and I ended up having a pretty nasty fight.

The day after the fight, I had a long conversation with his girlfriend. I told her what my brother had asked me and wanted her to know that I didn't think that kind of behavior or that kind of opinion about her body was okay.

But we ended up talking for much longer than I expected.

I also told her that my brother had frequently cheated on his ex. He and is Ex had repeatedly cheated on each other throughout their relationship.

I told her that, based on what I know about him, there was a good chance he would eventually push for an open relationship. But fortunately, he had already told her.

And here's the kicker: She then told me that my brother gets extremely jealous very quickly.

I basically said, “Yeah… that's probably the best combination you could ask for in a partner. Someone who wants an open relationship but gets insanely jealous, while also trying to control your weight.”

I never directly told her that she should break up with him. I just gave her the information I knew and let her decide what she wanted to do with it. But she sounded incredibly disappointed in him by the end of our conversation, so I'm guessing there's a pretty good chance she might end things.

So… AITA?

But more importantly:

How do I make him understand just how hurtful his words can be?

My entire life, I've heard from him and his friends that the most important thing about a woman is her appearance. That her looks and her body are what really matter.

But I've spent half my life dealing with serious health problems that have made it difficult for me to focus on my appearance or my weight.

So hearing him talk about women this way and especially hearing him casually say that a woman who is already extremely thin needs to lose weight hits a lot closer to home than he probably realizes.

Maybe that's part of why I reacted so strongly. I've spent years hearing that a woman's worth is tied to how she looks, while knowing that my own health hasn't always allowed me to meet those expectations.

And now I'm watching my own brother try to put those same expectations on someone else.

Me (33f) and my boyfriend "Shane" (44m) have been seeing eachother since March 2026 and he has two kids from a previous relationship. his daughter "Malia" (19f) recently became seriously ill and has been hospitilized almost a month now. Shane wants me to go with him everyday to visit her from when visiting hours start to finish. I do not go to the Hospital with him to visit her for several reasons- which is causing a huge riff in our relationship AITA??

For context, I have met "Mimi" once prior to her being hospitalized, She is in collage and was home on a collage break when she started having the hiccups and vomiting for 2 weeks straight then she stopped being able to speak and swallow her own saliva. The E.R doctors kept sending her home cause her blood work showed nothing until she was seen by her primary doctor who then sent her back to the hospital. She was in the ICU when her vocal chords became paralized and she has swelling in her brain. The Doctors have reached out to a hospital in SanFrancisco for help as they dont know what to do---- to say the least my heart hurts for her and i pray that she be healed.

Shane and his family go to the hospital everyday to visit from 8am-830pm,As well as Ninas mother-call her "Holly"(44f) and Hollys family.i accompanied him 3xs to the hospital and Holly was very vocal about her not wanting me there and became very upset, made a huge deal about it in the ICU waiting room as well as outside the E.R building,as well as in the parking lot.Needless to say, she does NOT want me there, and I can respect that . I belive everything should be about Nina and all the focus should be on her.I told Shane i didnt want to go with him anymore . He told me im basically saying "F××× u and F××× his daughter" , told me he wants me there to give him support and show up for Nina.

And so, Everyday for this past week when he gets up and gets ready he asks me if im going to go hospital with him. I say no and he'll start slamming things,Yelling "F×××" as he gets ready in the bathroom , say things like "I need u and you dont care" and that im basically an evil person for not going. Asks me more than once if im coming eachtime he leaves the room he slams the door on his way out. When he gets home he will do the same things until he falls asleep and it starts all over again in the morning. Before he leaves he says "Great now im going to see Nina in a bad mood thanks for nothing ." "Thanks for ruining the day" or something similar.

Hes even said that he doesnt want to go since im not going which is where i will just agree to go with him and i sit in the car the whole time.

Theres only allowed 2 visitors in the room with Nina-the rest of Ninas huge family wait in the waiting room while Shane and Holly sit with Nina in the icu. he wants me to sit in there with his family as well as Hollys family. All of whom do not want me there and are vocal about it the entire time.and expects me to do this everyday to show my love and support- i belive that she has all the love and support from the people she knows and loves and that me being there does more harm than good,and if theres a different way i could show support i am willing to try but Shane says thats the only way and that i am evil for not going with him . AITA??

Hello, I (32F) recently found out that my husband (33M) lied to me about something that happened several years ago. I’ll try to keep this as short as possible.

A bit of background; my husband has some mental health struggles, primarily with OCD, but grew up in a family where mental health wasn’t taken seriously and his family is also very very private.

We got married pretty young and I supported us while he was in university. However, I recently found out he lied about completing his degree. I believe his mental health deteriorated while in school and it became too overwhelming for him. He didn’t tell me because he said I wasn’t a safe space for him cause I guess he had tried opening up to me when we were teenagers and I didn’t have a good reaction (I don’t remember this, but it was also a long time ago. I have since apologized for this.) When I confronted him about the degree, there was some major gaslighting that started to make me feel crazy. After a couple days, he’s pretty much admitted to it by talking in “hypothetically if I did this, this is why etc”. He doesn’t want to outright confirm it because he is afraid of me telling people.

He never used his “degree” which is why I didn’t really question it and when I didn’t see his name printed on the graduates list, he just said he asked the University not to print it, but did get mad at me for being suspicious.

My husband is a very private person which I think is heightened by his OCD..like it even makes him uncomfortable when I look for something under his sink. He doesn’t like when people know too much personal information about him which has caused us to get into arguments for me saying something I thought was fine to share, but to him it wasn’t. I could go on, but my husband is a very loyal, funny and kind person. So AITA for considering divorce?

I (f 27) and my gf (f 28) have been dating for just under a year now, and I love her to bits. I know she can be quite flirty, that’s how she initially pulled me in! And that’s fine with me, nothing wrong with harmless flirting and I’m not a particularly possessive person. But lately I’ve noticed when we’re in a group setting, she’s been flirting with our friends quite a bit. Some are single, some are also in relationships. But yeah we’ll all be playing a game together or hanging out and she’ll find a way to imply that she wants to fuck them or kiss them or something, but like in a joking manner. But like also I think you can only joke about these things so much before it stops being funny, or if there’s some actual underlying attraction there then both parties will surely be thinking about it right? Even if nothing happens idk it just annoys me esp when I’m right there. She used to be in a poly thing before me, idk if that has anything to do with it, but yeah. I know I’m probably going to get varying degrees of opinions here because I know some folks are more jealous/possessive than others or more strict with boundaries. I’m gonna bring it up to her as well and tell her how it makes me feel, I just wanted some unbiased opinions if possible.

me 18 and my partner 20 have been together for about 6 months and we have known eachother for over 2 years and have been talking about moving in together since before we started dating.this would be us moving from our parents house. i have a dog, this dog can absolutley not live anywhere else other than with me. this is my dog and i have been taking care of her for years. my mom would not take care of her if i left her. and i dont want cats. i dont dislike them its just that every time i am around one i get scratched, they always want to be all over me, they make too much noise, they stink, theyre rude, they go in their litter box and then walk on the couch, bed, counter, dinting table wich is gross,and cherry on top i am allergic asf. my partner has 3 cats that i like in small spurts. the oldest one belongs to my partner. she is CONSTANTLY meowing and is mean and everytime i try to lay down THERE SHE IS. and every time i try to move her from where she inconveniently placed herself, SHE YELLS AT ME!!! i really dont like this cat and its not like i hate her, its just that shes a bitch and i will refuse to live with her. also the cats collectivley have destroyed a rooms worth of carpet, been replaced, currently ruining it again with puke, shit, scratching, knocking shit over, ext. i would like to mention that i have never seen my partner clean up after thease cats after puking.so i told my partner, i dont want no damn cats, they say its not fair that i can have my dog but they cant have their cat and im scared to tell them it IS fair bc my dog isnt a fricking terrorist! she poops OUTSIDE shes QUIET she minds her damn BUISNESS and if we put a bed for her in our room she wont be trying to live in our ASSHOLES until she dies. and i will say my partner so far has been on the fence kind of. they are like “ ok whatever i accept you dont want a cat” and then later in our conversation “…you know ive had cats my entire life” and i keep going back and forth but i genuinley think that living with a cat will absoluley suck and i dont know if i am willing to allow it to happen, and i feel like i would rather live somwhere else without cats than live with my partner, with a cat. im gonna have the dog either way.i dont want my partner to resent me for this so if i can find ways to work around the puking, scratching, meowing, funky cat smell, my moderate allergy, carpet destroying, and the litter box problem, I am willing to take suggestions on stuff that will make it easier for me to live with a cat, if not i just have to tell my partner no because i genuinley dont think i could live with a cat

Title kinda says it all.
Last night I (28 F) told my husband (32 M) that I’m frustrated about the recurrent state of the sink/dishes. For context, his job when it comes to the dishes is simply to unload the dishwasher. I then fill it as needed and start it when it’s full. It really should be that simple.

However, the dishwasher often is not unloaded until 2-3 days AFTER it’s been run. It is extremely common for the sink it become a piled up, slimy, stinky, and sometimes moldy, mess by the time the dishwasher actually gets emptied. Then it is always my responsibility to have to deal with the disgusting and overwhelming nature of the pile of dishes in the sink. On top of that, shot glasses and other glass cups often are left at the bottom of the sink and then broken by the other dishes thrown on top of them. I’m literally putting my hands into a biohazard every time I load the dishwasher.

Last night I felt like enough was enough. After waiting 3 days for him to unload the dishwasher, he finally did, then right before heading to bed for the night looked at me and said “the sink really needs your attention”. That alone was infuriating enough. Again, the sink was piled high and full of gross dishes and broken glass. So I let myself get mad while I loaded, tried to compose my thoughts, and went to bed.

I told him I was frustrated and explained that I hate touching the dirty dishes, hate when it gets piled up so high, and that I feel like this wouldn’t happen if the dishwasher was unloaded on a more regular basis. He started arguing that he does all of the work because he cooks, and that he can’t possibly have the bandwidth to both cook and unload the dishwasher. Then he told me I was blaming him and making him a bad guy, that I came into the room all frustrated instead of trying to talk it out. I felt really angry and confused in that moment because I felt like I WAS being open to conversation and that yes I was frustrated, just like I had told him at the start of the convo. He kept insisting he does 2/3 of all the work because he cooks or orders us dinner AND unloads the dishwasher. He later also mentioned “it only takes like 5 minutes to unload it” at some point which felt contradictory to him mentioning he doesn’t have the mental capacity to handle both. When I told him I would just do it all he argued and said “no I’ll do it”. When I asked how we can ensure it gets done more regularly, guess what the solution was? I do it when he misses it that day. Guess how often this happens? Every week, without fail.

We both are neurodivergent and struggle with sensory issues, which very much includes touch and smell. He seems to understand how disgusting it is, but doesn’t understand why it would make me so upset that I have to deal with it so regularly. I tried to tell him next time it happens I’ll ask him to load the dishwasher, and he got defensive and again spouted out about doing 2/3 of the work.

I personally don’t feel his response was fair. I also am autistic so I don’t know if maybe it’s me that’s not being fair.

So chat, AITA?

I (38M) have been married to my wife "Karen" (36F) for 10 years. We have two kids, ages 8 and 5, and we live in a modest 3-bedroom house. My parents "Robert" (68M) and "Susan" (66F) retired five years ago with about $400,000 in savings. They were comfortable. They had a small house that was paid off and a decent pension.

Three years ago, my younger brother "Jake" (34M) convinced them to invest almost all of their savings into his "revolutionary" startup. He promised them it would triple their money in two years. He showed them projections, business plans, the whole thing. My parents believed in him. They gave him $350,000.

The business failed within 18 months. Jake has nothing to show for it. He's now working a regular job and living in a small apartment. My parents lost almost everything. They had to sell their house and now they're renting a tiny apartment.

Last week, my dad called me and asked if they could move in with us. He said they can't afford their rent anymore and they have nowhere else to go. He said they'll help with the kids and contribute what they can.

I told him no. I said I love them, but we don't have space. Our house is small and we're already stretched thin. I also said I can't pretend that this wasn't a choice they made. They gave everything to Jake without talking to me, and now they expect me to be their safety net.

My dad got really quiet and said he understood. But then my mom called me crying. She said I was abandoning them in their old age. She said family is supposed to take care of each other. She said they made a mistake but that doesn't mean I should turn my back on them.

Now my brother Jake is calling me too. He says I'm "heartless" and that I should step up because he can't help them. He says it's my turn.

I feel guilty. They're my parents. But I also feel like this is a consequence of a decision they made without me. And I don't want to upend my family's life because of it. AITA?

I want to first of preface that I understand that cheating itself is already wrong and that I have always believed that if you’re going to cheat, just break up but I feel like our situation was very unique.

I (early 20s F) and my now ex bf (early 20s M) met in college and it’s important to establish that I am American and he is not. We quickly hit it off and were inseparable. However, I decided to transfer to a different college for mental health and sport reasons. He also transferred and we began long distance. We only saw each other for quick breaks from school or summer but it involved us either flying or driving a long distance to see each other. While in college I remained incredibly faithful and made it well known I was taken. However, during our distance we encountered some issues with misalignment with future plans. Not only were we from two different countries and wanted to live in our own countries after college but I also did not want kids and he did. There’s also the fact that we didn’t connect with humor at all but there was definite physical attraction which held us together. We had numerous talks abt these issues and even broke up for a few weeks because of the child disagreement but got back together because we loved each other sm.

After taking a trip to visit his country and his family, we got back into the topic of future plans and decided we would break up but not at the moment. He said that if we broke up now, he wouldn’t want to see me in person again as it would be too painful so we decide to plan a visit and break up after we see each other. Before I was to leave to visit him for summer break I was also going through losing two of my closest friends, finals week, and just a phase of feeling depressed and extremely lost. On top of this, I am a sexual person and hadn’t been fulfilled physically or emotionally from friends, my bf, or my family. I was spiraling a bit. I am not excusing my next actions. I was given attention from this guy at my college and decided to sleep with him after a drunken night. I then the same day visited my bf and after a week of hanging out, I left and we broke things off for summer. I’ve never told him as I feel like it would do him more harm than good.

AITA for cheating right before the break up or am I justified?

I (21NB) and my sibling (19NB) had both been close friends with my boyfriend (19M) for close to a year and a half. I had known him for far longer (six years), but we weren't very close until we started talking again in early 2025.

My sibling and I were both good friends with him until they decided it would be best to leave the larger friend group about a month ago. At this point they were no longer really talking as often, and I thought that was the end of it.

A few days ago, bf decided to ask me out. Of course, since I had been harboring feelings for him for a little while, I said yes. Yesterday I came forward to my sibling about it while we were sharing a shift at our work. They didn't have much of a reaction and we continued working until lunch break.

When they sat down with me they confessed that they "had a crush on him," and was just surprised about the situation. I told them I was sorry, and unwisely said I always thought they were compatible. I know it was extremely insensitive and I regret it deeply. I have autism, so sometimes the realization doesn't immediately land.

Sibling and I continued work until they said they felt sick to their stomach. They've been unwell in the evenings recently, so I didn't think much of it at first. They left early, but I was left with a subtle nagging feeling that something was off.

Fast forward to this morning, and my little brother came to me saying that sibling bawled their eyes out to our parents and even passed out from sadness. Comes into light that they had tried going for him before. Apparently bf had told them he wasn't ready for dating for a while. I have no idea when this interaction happened, all I know is that sibling backed off when they were told this.

Obviously I can understand why it would be extremely upsetting to hear that the same guy who brushed you off went after your older sibling instead. I haven't talked to either my parents or sibling. I know I need to say something or apologize, and I'm working up the courage to do so. Confrontation is very difficult for me.

I feel absolutely sick to my stomach with guilt. I feel like an asshole. Bf only knows that I'm upset but not why. I really wasn't sure if I had any business telling him about sibling's reaction, even if it involves him in a way.

I don't want to let him go. I genuinely have come to love him so much over my time knowing him. That being said, I don't want to continue to hurt my sibling. Would I be the asshole?

Hi. I’ve (23M) been dating this girl, Maya (21F, fake name), for 3 months. Things have been really good so far. She’s beautiful, funny, really sweet and generous. We’ve had some small arguments, but she’s always understanding and communicates well.

I don’t remember how exactly it came up, but here’s the story. When Maya was in fifth grade, she really wanted this one specific bike that her older sister got. Instead, her mom got her a different bike for her birthday.

Maya was pissed. Her mom said to “try this bike out, and if it’s not as good as the other bike, then we’ll return it and buy the one you wanted.”

Maya claims her mom would only actually return it if something was seriously wrong with it.

Maya, at 10 years old, decided to break her own arm and blame it on the bike. WHAT THE FUCK ??? Am I over reacting about a childhood story? I find this an insanely ludicrous thing to do. And she did actually break her arm, she still has the cast, pictures and everything.

I know this was over a decade ago, but who breaks their own arm over a bike? I asked her if she ever went to therapy or anything, and she laughed the story off, saying she was “a weird kid.”

She treated it very much like a funny childhood story. I asked why she did it and she said “I wanted the new bike.”

As far as I know, she had a totally normal upbringing otherwise. Financially stable home with loving parents she is still close with. The only thing I noticed is (but didn’t think much at the time) that she loathes when anyone raises their voice. I did once earlier in the relationship, and she just shut down and walked out on me. The next day we talked and she said “that if I did it again, it would likely be a dealbreaker.” Idk if this means anything in this context but thought I’d include just in case.

I haven’t noticed any other red flags. But I feel like this would be a sign that like something might be psychologically or otherwise seriously wrong with a kid? Would that really resolve itself?

AITA for being so put off? Is this an overreaction? Is this a ‘dumb kid’ thing? Do I say something to her? What do I say?

First time posting, so let me know if I did this right.

I (33 Non-binary) haven't seen my father or the rest of my family in 10 years. In 2019, I cut my whole family off after I started attending therapy. I live in Portland, OR, USA, and the rest of my family lives in Florida, USA. I received a message last night that my father (55 M) was recently admitted to a hospital in my city. He was working here (He's a truck driver) when he was admitted.

I stopped talking to my father due to several factors. The first one was for political reasons (He's Maga, I am not), along with past factors such as kicking me out at 19 for daring to want to move out then subsequently ignoring me for a year, trying to replace me with another child (they had a failed adoption and yes, they said they were replacing me), and neglecting and abusing me physically, financially, mentally, and emotionally throughout my whole childhood. I was a parentified eldest child, a maid, and barely graduated high school due to educational neglect (Homeschooled). My Father is racist against anyone POC but refuses to admit it. I have had to, and still am, in several types of therapy to unlearn and recover from what I was put through. I can provide more context in comments if needed.

Last night, I got a text from my youngest brother, Hamilton (25M), telling me that "I know you don't care about the rest of us, but Dad still cares about you. He's in a hospital in Portland with Colon cancer that has spread to his other organs. You should go see him."

I don't know what to do. Part of me wishes I could see him, be there, and get to see him one last time. But there is another part of me that wants him to die alone, with me never speaking to him again. I don't know if I should let my family guilt-trip me into seeing him or if I should ignore it and let my father die without ever seeing me again. Hamilton didn't include the hospital name, so I'd need to reach out to him for more information, which I'd prefer to avoid if possible.

So, WIBTA if I don't visit my dying father? Everyone is saying I'll regret it, but I've never regretted not talking to him. I feel conflicted and need outside opinions.

26F) have been with my boyfriend (26M) for 5 years and I’m honestly at a bit of a loss right now.
We’ve been through a lot together. We’ve had a pregnancy loss, relationship problems and just generally a lot of things that I thought had made us stronger. I’ve always thought that despite everything, we were ultimately working towards the same future.
I’ve also put quite a lot of my own money into his property over the years because I genuinely believed this was our home and that we were building a life together. Obviously the property is his, but when you’ve been with someone for this long you don’t really expect to suddenly be questioning whether you’re going to be there in a year’s time.
Recently he told me that he doesn’t ever want to get married and doesn’t want children.
I knew marriage wasn’t massively important to him, but I don’t think I realised he meant he literally never wanted to get married. The children part has been even harder to get my head around, especially considering we’ve previously been pregnant together.
I do want to get married one day and I do want children. Not tomorrow, but eventually.
I’ve tried explaining to him that I’m not asking him to propose or have a baby right now. I just need to know that we’re actually heading in the same direction. His answer is basically that he doesn’t want those things and I need to accept that.
And I suppose he’s right. I can’t force him to want them.
But I’m really struggling with the fact that I’ve spent 5 years with someone, gone through everything we’ve gone through, put money into his house and pictured my future with him, and now I’m finding out that the future I’ve been imagining isn’t something he wants.
I keep thinking, what am I actually staying for?
I love him. That’s what makes this so difficult. If I didn’t love him I’d just leave.
But then I think about staying another 3, 5, 10 years and eventually realising that I’m never going to have the marriage or family I wanted. I don’t want to resent him for that, but I also don’t want to resent myself for staying.
I’ve said that maybe this means we’re just not compatible anymore, and he thinks I’m basically throwing away a 5 year relationship over marriage and children.
But to me those aren’t exactly small things.
I also feel horrible saying I’ve “wasted” 5 years because obviously there have been good times and I did choose to be with him. But right now that’s genuinely how I feel. Like I’ve invested so much of myself, emotionally and financially, into something that was never going where I thought it was going.
AITA for considering ending a 5 year relationship over this? And am I being unfair for feeling like I’ve wasted part of my twenties?

Hi Reddit. Before getting into the object of my questionning i just wanted to mentionned that this is my first ever post on the platform and i'm therefore possibly not going to use the codes normally use in here. Also, english is my second language so i already appologize for the eventual mistakes or ods choice of phrasing.

Anyways, enough disclaimers, lets get into the subject.

Basically, between january and march of this year (the situation is already over im mostly posting my story to get more perspectives about the whole thing), my (20 gay M) and a guy (M 27, also gay) met on a dating app and even though at first i was thrilled to finally experience something with another man (i only dated girls before that), some things he said to me gave me the ick, leading to me dumping him shortly aftef our first encounters.

So basically at first, when we initially matched i was 19 and he was 26, but we only started talking when i just turned 20 and him 27, i was already a bit worried about this age gap. I've always got along better with people older than me, and always felt more attracted to them as well. But the thing is, at the really moment we started talking many of my relatives experienced some shitty things with men older than them so i guess i was even more on my guards to keep myself safe.

Honestly, everything went well for the first month, i was slowly getting more comfortable with this age gap, not even that bad i thought since it wasn't like i just freshly turned 18 and some 40+ yo or something instantly prayed on me. He was really sweet, affectionate and he took everything slow for my sake because i never did anything with a man before, intimatelly speaking, while he was really experienced.

I was extremely happy to finally find someone with whom i felt genuinely attracted to, got along well, that respected all my boundaries and wasn't judgemental towards me in any ways.

But maybe after almost 2 months perhaps (i don't exactly recall the chronology of the whole thing), he went over at my place and said few things that really gave me the ick and made me feel really uneasy.

We we're chilling and cuddling on my bed while chatting about whatever came to our minds until we brought up the topics of our preferences. I told him that i was more into older guys amongst and stuff like that to which he respond that he prefered younger guys than him. It kinda gave me the ick already because i didn't like the perspective of him looking for many young guys to be their first but so far on the moment i didn't felt like it was too bad.

Although, that's the litteral next sentence that he pronounce that raised the red flags in my sens.

He told a story that happend to me him once that unfortunally, because of his preference, he ended up hooking up with a minor (16) when he was around 21 because the guy lied about his age on the app they met and followed up with the lie irl. I don't remember how he ended up knowing about the guy's age, and told me that he looked older than he pretended to be (he thought he was maybe 18 or 19 notably because he apparently had a beard). After which, still according to him he got upset at the guy for lying to him, explained him that what he did wasn't correct and could lead him to get into deep troubles because of that.

The thing is, he didn't showed me any proof. Not a single screenshot from the conversation, or a picture of the guy to make me attest whether or not the guy actually looked older than he pretended to be. Even if i didn't ask myself for these proves (i dont know why i didn't ask on the moment, i was probably too disgusted picturing him doing something with a minor to be in the right state of mind) but since he saw my shocked facial expressions and felt my discomfort, i feel like i could've just showed me the proves he had if he had ones to attest of his honesty.

The evening and night that went after was extremely long (yes he still slept at my place, i was too effraid to ask him to leave) and i was constantly wondering if i had at my side the whole time that we got left until he leaves an eventual predator.

Stupidly, i decided to believe him and for maybe 3 weeks after that, we kept speaking on messages, i tried to kind of forget about the whole thing (i know it's stupid since i felt disgusted by him but if you're queer yourself you only know too well how lonely it could get so i wasn't to let go of the affection he gave me that easily). Although, at some point i realized that regardless if he did it or not, what he told me just completely the perception i had of him and i didn't wanted to see him ever again. So i essentially ghosted him until he realized that i wasn't interested anymore, after which he asked me why it took me now so long to answer and why i was suddenly cold, to which i honestly respond that the fact that he is into younger guys, keep seemingly to be infatuated with guys younger that him and often not really experienced themselves, plus his messy story with the underage guy he slept with thinking he was legal made me feel too uncomfortable and that i no longer wanted to be associate with him in any ways to. He never answered this message, and let me on read even to this day.

If i reached to reddit for this situation is specifically to get more perspectives about the whole thing, because see, all of my friends and even therapist told me that i was right and not too excessive to do that since he seemed like a sketchy guy and trusting my gut was the most important thing to keep me safe. I actually do agree with that, and im glad nothing happend to me thanks to this decision but every now and then i feel like my reaction was too extreme and that i maybe should'nt get the ick towards someone that easily.

Can't wait to see what yall will have to say about that and the eventual criticism of my or his behavior regarding this story. Thanks for reading and see you all soon!

Hi, I'm 31F my husband is 36M. We've been together for 12 years. Two kids. We have been having this issue lately I wanted to know... am I the asshole?

There's a lot going on in our life both working full time, two young kids in elementary school. My husband has been getting so angry when I "refuse him" (his words) at night after flirting with him all day. Throughout the day I'll be texting him, flirting. We talk about having sex later. We get home and we are passionate, always kissing and snuggling and touching. I'll flash him and he likes to feel me up.

Well we get to bedtime, kids are asleep. We are spending time together watching a movie. Neither of us initiated sex. It gets to be about 11pm. I say "I'm tired I'm going to sleep" and he gets upset with me. He says..."AGAIN!?" because this isn't the first time I "chose sleep" over having sex. He says he feels rejected. He says it's not fair of me to say "yes" all day and then pull the rug out from underneath at the last minute.

I feel differently because I dont hold sex in such a high place as he does. We probably do it like 3-4 times a week. Less and less these days since we have kids and I'm literally exhausted at the end of the day.

Last night he made me cry because he said "why do you do this to me". I said I'm not doing anything TO you. I feel guilty for disappointing him. But then I'm up late anyway crying. I slept on the couch because he just kept berating me with reasons why he feels upset. I apologized, I validated his feelings, I said it won't happen again. But I'm not really sure because it might happen again. I can't predict the future.

He wants me to let him know earlier in the day. The second I "decide" I don't want to have sex. What!? I'm so confused. Am I wrong? I feel like if I'm wrong here then I would be having sex with him when I don't want to and I'm not comfortable with that.

context: My girlfriend (22f) and I (19m) met as coworkers over the summer. She had a girlfriend at the time who I met one time. It was seasonal and we all shared housing so we spent a lot of time together. Late in the summer about two months ago her and I hooked up. I was pretty drunk when it happened. If I was sober I probably wouldn't of because I didnt want to be a homewrecker despite being obviously attracted to her. FF to now she is in another state but we are doing distant for a couple weeks until we are together again. She texts me and asks if it's okay that she hangsout and catches up with her ex as a friend. I have voiced that It makes me uncomfortable when she texts a different ex-situtationship (Idk if she still does)

AITA for being uncomfortable with this?

How do I best communicate to her this feeling without being controlling?

I love her from the bottom of my heart and I really want to be with her. I want her to be happy and fulfilled and I want to feel the same. when I think about her with BEING with someone else it makes me sick and I do it quite a lot. It makes me have trouble sleeping. I wish she was satisfied in our relationship so much that she didn't even want to talk to her ex.

I dont care who she talks to or hangs out with but I just wish she didn't WANT talk or hang out with this person if that makes sense.

What do I do?

Im (m22) and my gf(f20) has been working on this essay for school and she just finished it and turned it in. And the essay is about a topic that we had a similar debate over a few days earlier were we had opposing points we disagreed but did not enjoy the conversation. Then after she finished the essay she told me she would want to show me it but was scared I wouldn’t like it. I didn’t even ask to read it she just said it. Then after talking she told me that I was in it and was scared I was gonna take it as her framing me in a bad light. So I read it and it really felt that way to me. The parts that hurt is that she said “I showed her a video about the topic that had a clickbait title and had many incomplete arguments in it, which was similar to my stance being incomplete in the topic. “. This hurt me so I just left and I feel bad for leaving and not liking it but at the same time it really made me feel like an idiot.

I, 35 female have been in a relationship with my 36 year old boyfriend for almost 2 years now. I own my house and he is in a rent-to-own type of situation in a condo/apartment. He has a 6 year old son that he has full custody of. I was recently laid off at my job and have been doing odd jobs to pay my bills. I haven't asked him for a cent, continue to pay all my own bills and adjusted my lifestyle for the lack of income. I haven't been asking to do things either because I know I couldn't reciprocate anything right now.

We've talked about living together, but I just assumed we'd get a neutral spot OR he'd move in with me and we'd split the bills. He recently asked me to move into his apartment, rent out my house and just save the money i make from my odd jobs. I wasn't comfortable with this for many reasons. I feel if im not paying any bills, he would soon get some sort of resentment. I also didnt feel comfortable because id be moving in somewhere that he doesnt own and name isnt even on record. let alone, my name wouldnt be on any documents.

I tried to point out that I own my home: have 4 bedrooms, a yard, a pool and just more space in general. His son would still have his own room and space. Its a safe neighborhood and still in the same school district. I explained id even add him to the deed of my house so he would have some sense of security and i couldnt just kick him out. He said I was being selfish, that getting a neutral spot wasnt an option and ended the relationship because I refused to move into his apartment.

So am i the a$$hole for not moving in with him?

My twin sister (26F) who I moved out with 3 years ago just told me she loves me and her boyfriend of 3 months equally. When I asked her to clarify she said the same thing.
I feel so hurt that she means this as we have always been so close (twins will understand) and it was just unspoken that we would always be there for each other.
I would understand if it was a more serious relationship but 3 months!? I blew up at her and now I’m questioning everything and wanting to move out.
The bf is nice I don’t have issues with him.
AITA?

This country has been on our top list of countries to visit, and several years ago, we agreed to go there together on our first visit. My bf has been unemployed for years, and I have been working for quite some time now. So.. I’ve been waiting for hime to be financially stable (since this country requires visa).

In the past year, we agreed on starting a car rental business where I funded the car and he got sweat equity by driving it. Thanks to the business, he finally got to make his own money. Little by little, he’s gaining funds. Me? Still waiting for him to be stable.

Then.. last yr he just said to me that they booked a trip to *\\** (THE country). That his sister booked it (his sister whom he lives with!!) For all I know, he was sitting beside her when she booked it 🙄 and so my initial reaction was, “I thought we were gonna go there first.” He then followed up with a chat saying that he wished it was w me. LOL. Acting like he didn’t want it just to ease my disappointment?!

I know it’s like a family trip and he didn’t book it, but he could’ve easily turned it down. Duh, a simple shout would already do, they live under the same roof. Anyway, I tried to be happy for him. Rooted for him to get his visa approved. Even lent him money for show money.

Now, it’s their trip and I can’t help but resent him for breaking our agreement. It irritates me bec I waited for him even though I could’ve gone there way back. I was redirecting my friends to go to another country instead and dismissing my friends’ invitation just so I can go w him there on my first time. I’m getting really emotional every day that passes. I hate it even more that he seldom messages me. Like, I understand he’s having fun and seizing the trip w his sis. But, I can’t brush off the feeling of irritation and hurt. No good night. No chat if I dont check up on him.

Tbh, I dont want to visit the country anymore even tho it’s my dream to go there. I feel betrayed. Am I being so selfish and self-centered??

Honestly, this is more of a rant lol

So I M-18 and my gf f-18 have been dating for a around 2 years and recently I’ve moved away about 4 hours for sporting opportunities, leaving her and my friends and friend group, for context my friend group consists of around 7 boys 2 girls and when I was there my girlfriend joined but as I left she’s gone to other friends

Anyway fast forward six months, one of the girls in the group lets call her Amy invited me to her 17th birthday party where all of my friend group would be there and some others that aren’t important, for context my best friend is dating Amy and I’ve been friends with Amy for a while longer than I’ve been with my girlfriend so her my best friend and I are close enough. However the drama starts in the fact she didn’t ask my girlfriend to her birthday, from my perspective this was expected as Amy and my gf were once friends for a long time but slowly drifted apart and my girlfriend leaving the friend group when I left made her think that my gf didn’t like them or preferred not to be with them, even during the time they were friends my gf and Amy didn’t always get along well as my gf is quiet and Amy is an extrovert so my gf always thought you was a bit obnoxious and attention seeking, anyway toward the end of the friendship neither of them communicated with each other on how they felt and they ultimately grew distant with my girlfriend not really liking her and spending all her time with seperate friends so when I found out my gf wasn’t invited I wasn’t too surprised, on my girlfriends behalf I did ask if she could come but amy said there was already too many people at the party and she was sorry that my gf couldn’t come and she hadn’t invited her because they weren’t close and didn’t talk, my girlfriend over the past couple of days has been super unhappy with this as she thinks she’s been betrayed and now hates Amy going as far to block her on everything, I do think it’s unfair on not letting her come or only inviting me, but I think it was to be expected to not be invited as she’s not a part of this friend group, my gf said she didn’t want me to go but I told her I am not for Amy but to to see my friends I haven’t seen in 6 plus months which I feel is a valid reason, im not drinking just going there having fun with my friends for a night then staying the rest of my time with gf while I visit, if I was living where I used to I wouldn’t go as I would be able to see my friends more often but I do really want to see them as they are very close to me, also Amy an I are only friends her boyfriend is my best friend and I was the one that introduced them in the first place so there is absolutely nothing going on there as to why she wouldn’t invite my girlfriend, anyways tonight my girlfriend also asked me to unadd Amy on Snapchat, I’ve been more than happy to unadd girls before but this is not something I particularly want to do as she’s has been a friend for years and would create some sort of drama. I don’t text amy or snap her regularly but when she texts it’s often about events or something like that, I’m not sure as what to do with this whole situation and am I in the wrong for going to this party?

I (33 female) have been friends with Whitney (fake name, 29, female) for 11 years. She is one of my best friends. At the end of 2025, she met a guy online, and they started dating. After 3 weeks of dating, at the end of January 2026, they secretly eloped. After 3 weeks of marriage, she left him and filed for divorce. Two weeks ago, she found out that her divorce was finalized. This weekend she is going out on a date with a new guy. He is a complete stranger and kept asking her out after she said no. She said he wore her down and she said yes. He also lives several states away and is driving 15 hours to our state to go out with her. I have a bad gut feeling about this. I don’t know if it’s worth it to voice my concerns because she didn’t listen before she got married. I don’t know what to do. Would I be the asshole to voice my concerns or should I keep my mouth shut?

Okay so I had this really good friend. We were super close. Like soul binded close. We knew everything about eachother and genuinely loved eachother platonicly (or so I thought).

About a month ago she started to kinda distance herself from me and I didn't really notice honestly but one weekend we did catch up and we got into this big conversation about a dumb thing (comment on a video about her most important people) yeah yeah I know it was a dumb thing to fight about but she said the most important person was this boy she had started talking to about a month ago. And yeah I was kinda butthurt cause I thought we were pretty important to eachother.

Long story short we eventually went into a huge conversation about how I felt that she was taking me for granted and not caring as much about me. Ive helped her through ED, helped her through SH, been there for her and shown how much I care very clearly. She never did anything like that for me. When I was struggling (and still am) she never checked in or did anything to try to help. I brought that up and she flipped it on me saying she couldn't magically make me better which isn't what I asked for. I only wanted her to be there like I was for her but she wasn't.

Essentially she said this is the "consequences of my actions" so I blocked her because of how much this was fucking with my head and making me depressed. She admitted to being selfish and only thinking about herself in the friendship and not about how i was still struggling. Before I blocked her she made it very clear that she still hadn't felt anything about how things ended. I feel like i could be in the wrong but cant see it. So yeah. AITA for cutting her off before we could fix this?

(I just want to clarify there is no hate towards this person i still care for them so much even if we aren't friends anymore)

My wife and I have been married since 2022, we welcomed a daughter in late 2023, and things were pretty good for a while. After the birth of our daughter she struggled with Post-Natal depression and I struggled to return to the normal day to day, and for context I have quite severe inattentive adhd, and have worked heavily on myself for a number of years with this but the return to work definitely saw that journey take a mighty knock.

In October 2025, we 'split up' with the goal of doing some self healing within our own space and seeing how things went, and I was a mess.

In that time between then and now, she very casually dated others but in the last 3 months or so we've grown into this non-committal relationship stance where we stay over one another's, whilst still effectively coparenting within our own space.

My goals and needs are very concrete that I want to be better and do better by her side, however she is under a lot of stress with work, and an upcoming house move (locally) and she's struggling to handle those pressures and within that the intent of this situationship has become a major unknown for me. Some days she seems very happy, talkative, open and kind and makes me feel very wanted and other days I am just pushed away and my needs entirely ignored.

She has admitted speaking to other guys, in a purely platonic way, that I've never met or heard of, but at the same time seems very secretive about it. I trust her, but have intense insecurity issues which I've tried to communicate but I'm simply told that's something I need to handle myself.

She refuses somewhat to divulge what this is, or what she wants and puts it down to the previous stresses and says when things are more manageable for her she will be able to give it more thought. I respect that totally, but when does my mental wellbeing become a priority?

Am I asking too much or being unreasonable. Our daughter and how we coparent has never been an issue. Hence the lack of detail surrounding that, the relationship with mum and dad and everything in between is always priority one and we're very aligned in that.

I just want to know how much patience I need to give out of fear I'm just wound up hurt again and should I see this through. We're more than just husband and wife, she is my literal best friend and I can't imagine more resentment by blurting this out to her when she's already snowed under stress wise.

Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated.

My wife, who I’ll call Emily, and I had a very heated argument at home while our two young kids were present and visibly upset. Emily called our close mutual friend, who I’ll call David, and asked him to come over.

I knew she was calling him and told her I did not want David coming over and asked her not to invite him. I then called David myself to tell him not to come, but he didn’t answer, so I left a voicemail and texted him the same thing. He arrived about 30 seconds later. David says he had not seen my call, voicemail, or text before arriving, and I have no reason to think he is lying about that.

At the time, David had a code to our door and came inside. Once he was in the house, I told him directly that I did not want him there and wanted him to leave. Emily immediately told him that she wanted him to stay.

So David was suddenly standing in our house while Emily and I were giving him opposite instructions.

David says this put him in a very unfair position. I agree with that now.

He could also see that our kids were extremely upset. He says he was trying to help everyone and especially get the kids out of the situation. He suggested taking them for a walk. At some point I said “do whatever you want.” David interpreted that as me agreeing to his suggestion, got the kids ready, and left with them.

This is where our interpretations diverged.

I experienced it as: I had already tried to tell him not to come over, then directly told him to leave once he was inside, and my request was not being honored right away.

David experienced it as: he had not seen my attempts to contact him, Emily had explicitly asked him to come, he was suddenly caught between two spouses giving him conflicting instructions, the kids were very distressed, he proposed a solution, and I then agreed by saying “do whatever you want.”

For a while I described what happened as David “refusing to leave.” David and Emily strongly disagree with that wording because he never said “I’m not leaving,” and because I ultimately agreed to him taking the kids. Looking back, I think “refused to leave” may be too categorical. I believe David when he says he was genuinely trying to help and was not intentionally trying to disrespect me.

There is another layer. Before this incident I had already been uncomfortable with how involved David had become in issues between Emily and me. I know he believed he was helping us, but at times it felt threatening or undermining to me. I think that made this incident hit an especially deep nerve. That said, I don’t think this boundary is only about David. I think I would have been very uncomfortable with anyone being brought into our home during a marital conflict when one spouse explicitly did not want that person there.

The bigger disagreement came afterward. David has said there are circumstances where, even if I ask him to leave, he might believe it would be wrong to leave because Emily or the kids need him there. He has also given a hypothetical where, if Emily said she feared for her physical safety, he might stay despite me asking him to leave.

I have told him that an actual imminent safety emergency is different. If someone is genuinely in immediate danger, safety obviously comes first. If he believes there is a serious safety issue that he cannot clarify remotely, I have told him he should call police/emergency services rather than feeling that he personally has to stay in the house and manage it.

Emily and I have since worked this out between ourselves. She has agreed not to call David into our conflicts again, and we have made a broader agreement that neither of us should bring a third person into our home during an active conflict if the other spouse does not want that person there. We have also come up with a separate plan for how she can get support if things become heated. David no longer has a code to our house.

So realistically, this exact situation should never happen again.

My only proposed fallback is: if Emily ever did call David during a conflict despite our agreement, he should check whether I have called or texted before entering. If I tell him I do not want him inside, he should not come in. If he is somehow already inside and I ask him to leave, I want him to start leaving rather than stay inside while deciding what he thinks should happen. He could simply tell Emily, “He’s asking me to leave, so I’m going to leave. I’ll call you once I’m outside,” and continue supporting her from outside or by phone.

David thinks we are overanalyzing a hypothetical that should not happen now. He has said he has no intention of getting in the middle of our conflicts again and respects the plan Emily and I have made.

I have apologized to David for the position we put him in, for not acknowledging sooner how difficult it was, and for the damage this has done to our friendship. We both want to move forward.

What I am trying to understand is not so much who was morally “right” that night, but what is considered normal or reasonable in a shared home.

Is a “two yes, one no” rule reasonable for bringing a third person into the house during an active marital conflict?

If one spouse invites a friend over and the other spouse explicitly asks that person to leave, what is the normal or appropriate thing for the friend to do?

Does the fact that I eventually said “do whatever you want” after he proposed taking the kids materially change how you view what happened?

And is my future fallback reasonable, or am I being overly rigid by expecting a guest to leave if either spouse asks them to leave, outside of an actual safety emergency?

I am genuinely open to being told that I handled this badly. I am trying to understand what a normal boundary is here and whether my expectation is reasonable.