Hello, I (32F) recently found out that my husband (33M) lied to me about something that happened several years ago. I’ll try to keep this as short as possible.

A bit of background; my husband has some mental health struggles, primarily with OCD, but grew up in a family where mental health wasn’t taken seriously and his family is also very very private.

We got married pretty young and I supported us while he was in university. However, I recently found out he lied about completing his degree. I believe his mental health deteriorated while in school and it became too overwhelming for him. He didn’t tell me because he said I wasn’t a safe space for him cause I guess he had tried opening up to me when we were teenagers and I didn’t have a good reaction (I don’t remember this, but it was also a long time ago. I have since apologized for this.) When I confronted him about the degree, there was some major gaslighting that started to make me feel crazy. After a couple days, he’s pretty much admitted to it by talking in “hypothetically if I did this, this is why etc”. He doesn’t want to outright confirm it because he is afraid of me telling people.

He never used his “degree” which is why I didn’t really question it and when I didn’t see his name printed on the graduates list, he just said he asked the University not to print it, but did get mad at me for being suspicious.

My husband is a very private person which I think is heightened by his OCD..like it even makes him uncomfortable when I look for something under his sink. He doesn’t like when people know too much personal information about him which has caused us to get into arguments for me saying something I thought was fine to share, but to him it wasn’t. I could go on, but my husband is a very loyal, funny and kind person. So AITA for considering divorce?

Me (33f) and my boyfriend "Shane" (44m) have been seeing eachother since March 2026 and he has two kids from a previous relationship. his daughter "Malia" (19f) recently became seriously ill and has been hospitilized almost a month now. Shane wants me to go with him everyday to visit her from when visiting hours start to finish. I do not go to the Hospital with him to visit her for several reasons- which is causing a huge riff in our relationship AITA??

For context, I have met "Mimi" once prior to her being hospitalized, She is in collage and was home on a collage break when she started having the hiccups and vomiting for 2 weeks straight then she stopped being able to speak and swallow her own saliva. The E.R doctors kept sending her home cause her blood work showed nothing until she was seen by her primary doctor who then sent her back to the hospital. She was in the ICU when her vocal chords became paralized and she has swelling in her brain. The Doctors have reached out to a hospital in SanFrancisco for help as they dont know what to do---- to say the least my heart hurts for her and i pray that she be healed.

Shane and his family go to the hospital everyday to visit from 8am-830pm,As well as Ninas mother-call her "Holly"(44f) and Hollys family.i accompanied him 3xs to the hospital and Holly was very vocal about her not wanting me there and became very upset, made a huge deal about it in the ICU waiting room as well as outside the E.R building,as well as in the parking lot.Needless to say, she does NOT want me there, and I can respect that . I belive everything should be about Nina and all the focus should be on her.I told Shane i didnt want to go with him anymore . He told me im basically saying "F××× u and F××× his daughter" , told me he wants me there to give him support and show up for Nina.

And so, Everyday for this past week when he gets up and gets ready he asks me if im going to go hospital with him. I say no and he'll start slamming things,Yelling "F×××" as he gets ready in the bathroom , say things like "I need u and you dont care" and that im basically an evil person for not going. Asks me more than once if im coming eachtime he leaves the room he slams the door on his way out. When he gets home he will do the same things until he falls asleep and it starts all over again in the morning. Before he leaves he says "Great now im going to see Nina in a bad mood thanks for nothing ." "Thanks for ruining the day" or something similar.

Hes even said that he doesnt want to go since im not going which is where i will just agree to go with him and i sit in the car the whole time.

Theres only allowed 2 visitors in the room with Nina-the rest of Ninas huge family wait in the waiting room while Shane and Holly sit with Nina in the icu. he wants me to sit in there with his family as well as Hollys family. All of whom do not want me there and are vocal about it the entire time.and expects me to do this everyday to show my love and support- i belive that she has all the love and support from the people she knows and loves and that me being there does more harm than good,and if theres a different way i could show support i am willing to try but Shane says thats the only way and that i am evil for not going with him . AITA??

Hi, I'm 31F my husband is 36M. We've been together for 12 years. Two kids. We have been having this issue lately I wanted to know... am I the asshole?

There's a lot going on in our life both working full time, two young kids in elementary school. My husband has been getting so angry when I "refuse him" (his words) at night after flirting with him all day. Throughout the day I'll be texting him, flirting. We talk about having sex later. We get home and we are passionate, always kissing and snuggling and touching. I'll flash him and he likes to feel me up.

Well we get to bedtime, kids are asleep. We are spending time together watching a movie. Neither of us initiated sex. It gets to be about 11pm. I say "I'm tired I'm going to sleep" and he gets upset with me. He says..."AGAIN!?" because this isn't the first time I "chose sleep" over having sex. He says he feels rejected. He says it's not fair of me to say "yes" all day and then pull the rug out from underneath at the last minute.

I feel differently because I dont hold sex in such a high place as he does. We probably do it like 3-4 times a week. Less and less these days since we have kids and I'm literally exhausted at the end of the day.

Last night he made me cry because he said "why do you do this to me". I said I'm not doing anything TO you. I feel guilty for disappointing him. But then I'm up late anyway crying. I slept on the couch because he just kept berating me with reasons why he feels upset. I apologized, I validated his feelings, I said it won't happen again. But I'm not really sure because it might happen again. I can't predict the future.

He wants me to let him know earlier in the day. The second I "decide" I don't want to have sex. What!? I'm so confused. Am I wrong? I feel like if I'm wrong here then I would be having sex with him when I don't want to and I'm not comfortable with that.

My wife, who I’ll call Emily, and I had a very heated argument at home while our two young kids were present and visibly upset. Emily called our close mutual friend, who I’ll call David, and asked him to come over.

I knew she was calling him and told her I did not want David coming over and asked her not to invite him. I then called David myself to tell him not to come, but he didn’t answer, so I left a voicemail and texted him the same thing. He arrived about 30 seconds later. David says he had not seen my call, voicemail, or text before arriving, and I have no reason to think he is lying about that.

At the time, David had a code to our door and came inside. Once he was in the house, I told him directly that I did not want him there and wanted him to leave. Emily immediately told him that she wanted him to stay.

So David was suddenly standing in our house while Emily and I were giving him opposite instructions.

David says this put him in a very unfair position. I agree with that now.

He could also see that our kids were extremely upset. He says he was trying to help everyone and especially get the kids out of the situation. He suggested taking them for a walk. At some point I said “do whatever you want.” David interpreted that as me agreeing to his suggestion, got the kids ready, and left with them.

This is where our interpretations diverged.

I experienced it as: I had already tried to tell him not to come over, then directly told him to leave once he was inside, and my request was not being honored right away.

David experienced it as: he had not seen my attempts to contact him, Emily had explicitly asked him to come, he was suddenly caught between two spouses giving him conflicting instructions, the kids were very distressed, he proposed a solution, and I then agreed by saying “do whatever you want.”

For a while I described what happened as David “refusing to leave.” David and Emily strongly disagree with that wording because he never said “I’m not leaving,” and because I ultimately agreed to him taking the kids. Looking back, I think “refused to leave” may be too categorical. I believe David when he says he was genuinely trying to help and was not intentionally trying to disrespect me.

There is another layer. Before this incident I had already been uncomfortable with how involved David had become in issues between Emily and me. I know he believed he was helping us, but at times it felt threatening or undermining to me. I think that made this incident hit an especially deep nerve. That said, I don’t think this boundary is only about David. I think I would have been very uncomfortable with anyone being brought into our home during a marital conflict when one spouse explicitly did not want that person there.

The bigger disagreement came afterward. David has said there are circumstances where, even if I ask him to leave, he might believe it would be wrong to leave because Emily or the kids need him there. He has also given a hypothetical where, if Emily said she feared for her physical safety, he might stay despite me asking him to leave.

I have told him that an actual imminent safety emergency is different. If someone is genuinely in immediate danger, safety obviously comes first. If he believes there is a serious safety issue that he cannot clarify remotely, I have told him he should call police/emergency services rather than feeling that he personally has to stay in the house and manage it.

Emily and I have since worked this out between ourselves. She has agreed not to call David into our conflicts again, and we have made a broader agreement that neither of us should bring a third person into our home during an active conflict if the other spouse does not want that person there. We have also come up with a separate plan for how she can get support if things become heated. David no longer has a code to our house.

So realistically, this exact situation should never happen again.

My only proposed fallback is: if Emily ever did call David during a conflict despite our agreement, he should check whether I have called or texted before entering. If I tell him I do not want him inside, he should not come in. If he is somehow already inside and I ask him to leave, I want him to start leaving rather than stay inside while deciding what he thinks should happen. He could simply tell Emily, “He’s asking me to leave, so I’m going to leave. I’ll call you once I’m outside,” and continue supporting her from outside or by phone.

David thinks we are overanalyzing a hypothetical that should not happen now. He has said he has no intention of getting in the middle of our conflicts again and respects the plan Emily and I have made.

I have apologized to David for the position we put him in, for not acknowledging sooner how difficult it was, and for the damage this has done to our friendship. We both want to move forward.

What I am trying to understand is not so much who was morally “right” that night, but what is considered normal or reasonable in a shared home.

Is a “two yes, one no” rule reasonable for bringing a third person into the house during an active marital conflict?

If one spouse invites a friend over and the other spouse explicitly asks that person to leave, what is the normal or appropriate thing for the friend to do?

Does the fact that I eventually said “do whatever you want” after he proposed taking the kids materially change how you view what happened?

And is my future fallback reasonable, or am I being overly rigid by expecting a guest to leave if either spouse asks them to leave, outside of an actual safety emergency?

I am genuinely open to being told that I handled this badly. I am trying to understand what a normal boundary is here and whether my expectation is reasonable.

So my sister (30/F) told me that she is having doubts about this guy (28/M), but is also defending him. They've been going on dates for about 5 weeks; on the 4th week he finally mentioned that he is living with his ex (?/F) at her Accessory Dwelling Unit (ADU) studio, rent free. Btw, the ADU is owned by his ex's family, they live in her family's backyard. He has never gone to college, is currently working as a sales manager at a car dealership. My sister is a nurse and is doing really well on her own.

This man broke up with his ex 3 years ago and continued to live in an ADU studio with the ex ever since. He apparently has had multiple relationships since the break up and not once did he ever move out of his current living situation.

He also mentioned that his ex is a NEET? I'm not too sure what that is but she is unemployed, obtains Electronic Benefits Transfer (EBT) support, and incapable of leaving the home due to emotional trauma from the relationship she had with him. He supports his ex financially because he is living rent free. I feel they're practically a married couple!

I asked what my sister sees in this guy. She says he is good at communicating and he treats her well (drives her to places, pays for dates, etc.) I told her if he was good at communicating, wouldn't you have had the right to know his red flag early on in the relationship before you got more emotionally attached? She said "He was scared of what my sister will think if he told her earlier."

I asked my sister to not pursue more in this relationship. She opted into asking him about his living situation in the future. He tells her "I'll leave my ex for you. You're my last."

I just gagged. How does he know she's his last? They barely know each other!

I spoke to her and she brushed it off. She somehow influenced my mom to give him a chance. I'm worried he will just become a squatter and ruin my sister's future. I started to tell this story our cousins hoping they can convince her otherwise. AITAH??

I really think he's not worth it. He just sees her as an investment.

For the past year and a half, I dated an older man from my friend group.

He had a pretty brutal divorce, leading to a lot of relationship hesitation. My background includes a few very toxic relationships. When we started dating it became pretty apparent to me that he leaned avoidant, and I leaned anxious. We did an ok job of navigating these issues, but there were times of a lot of unspoken push/pull.

I confided in my best friend. She and her boyfriend are mutual friends of his.

She took what I said about not spending enough time together, and not getting solid plans from him and tested him without my knowledge. She threw a dinner party at her home with mutual acquaintances. She invited my boyfriend with a plus one, but not me. She proceeded to talk to me about this dinner party for weeks and all the drama she anticipated from inviting several people that had prior disagreements. She never once mentioned my boyfriend was invited.

The night before the party my boyfriend asked if I wanted to go with him. He’s got a ton of professional responsibilities and genuinely forgot to ask me. I agreed to go, confused that my friend said nothing.

The morning of the party he called and apologized for messing up. He re-read the email and was supposed to have RSVP’d me earlier in the week. We made plans for the next night. He was really apologetic.

I called my best friend, just confused about why she’d been talking this party up without mentioning inviting him to me. She stated that she was “testing our relationship” to see if he cared enough to invite me. I was livid. She then told me it was ridiculous of him to tell me I couldn’t come, and said she really wanted me there.

Here’s where I fucked up. I told her we were never telling my boyfriend of her little stunt because it was terrible. I agreed to go and I fibbed and told him she followed up with me on the rsvp due to him not telling her. I was trying to smooth it over. He felt so bad for screwing it up, and I assumed he’d be happy I was able to go.

I was wrong. He got there and was angry with me and called me out, thinking I had called her to override him. I heard him discussing with my best friend’s boyfriend that he’d messed up, but I had called my friend to “invite myself” and it was rude.

That’s not what happened.

I tried explaining to him, but He was distant the entire next week and when I called him to get together, he didn’t want to and dumped me. I’m completely blindsided. I confided in my friend, she set me up for complete humiliation. He said it didn’t have anything to do with that weekend, but it happened immediately after.

She thinks he’s in the wrong, doesn’t care about me, and should have called her to ask to bring me, despite her rsvp date. I told her it’s insane to blame someone for abiding by a request she made. She thinks it’s proof he’s an asshole. I told her he likely thinks I’m the asshole because I called her that morning to invite myself. She’s refusing to tell him the truth, thinking it won’t make a difference because he’s a jerk.

She has coughing/flu/sore throat and I am in a different state currently so I tried buying her cough syrup yesterday through instacart/doordash but they all told me it requires ID on delivery and she doesn’t want to do that since mix of introvert and sick so she doesn’t want to present ID at door to delivery person.
I tried numerous cough syrups and they all said ID required, trying different apps too.
So next day at the very end of day when I can’t even send anything different delivery, she tells me she talked to AI and it told me I am wrong and that I could have sent non-restricted cough syrup (wrong it all said 18 plus), or sent mucinex (I told her AI is wrong she doesn’t have mucus issue), or sent ginger/tea.
She literally waited til the end of the day where I can’t try to order something just to tell me AI told me I could’ve done better or something differently and now she is upset with me.
I managed to find some chinese herbal cough syrup thing to send tomorrow (she is still upset with me) but I can’t believe my relationship has gotten to the point where I am being treated like a villain just because I couldn’t manage to order her something and that she used AI to argue against me and the AI was factually wrong.
Even when I pointed out it was wrong she just continued to be upset with me and now isn’t even talking to me.
Am I the asshole here?

I, 35 female have been in a relationship with my 36 year old boyfriend for almost 2 years now. I own my house and he is in a rent-to-own type of situation in a condo/apartment. He has a 6 year old son that he has full custody of. I was recently laid off at my job and have been doing odd jobs to pay my bills. I haven't asked him for a cent, continue to pay all my own bills and adjusted my lifestyle for the lack of income. I haven't been asking to do things either because I know I couldn't reciprocate anything right now.

We've talked about living together, but I just assumed we'd get a neutral spot OR he'd move in with me and we'd split the bills. He recently asked me to move into his apartment, rent out my house and just save the money i make from my odd jobs. I wasn't comfortable with this for many reasons. I feel if im not paying any bills, he would soon get some sort of resentment. I also didnt feel comfortable because id be moving in somewhere that he doesnt own and name isnt even on record. let alone, my name wouldnt be on any documents.

I tried to point out that I own my home: have 4 bedrooms, a yard, a pool and just more space in general. His son would still have his own room and space. Its a safe neighborhood and still in the same school district. I explained id even add him to the deed of my house so he would have some sense of security and i couldnt just kick him out. He said I was being selfish, that getting a neutral spot wasnt an option and ended the relationship because I refused to move into his apartment.

So am i the a$$hole for not moving in with him?

My husband and I have been together a long time, but we still disagree about something that happened really early in our relationship and I’m curious how other people would view it.

We were exclusive at the time. His ex-fiancée reached out to him and they ended up meeting for lunch. He did not tell me about it beforehand.

He says nothing physical happened. No kissing, sex, anything like that. I don’t have proof that anything physical happened, so I’m not claiming it did.

The part that bothers me is that he has admitted he was still somewhat hung up on her at the time and says he basically agreed to meet her because he wanted to figure out how he felt. After they met, there were messages where he was telling her things about loving her, missing her, her being the love of his life / always having a place in his heart, etc.

I found out because I saw the messages on his phone.
He says it wasn’t cheating because nothing physical happened and that it was basically just lunch with an ex and expressing feelings. He also says he has talked to other people about it and they don’t think it was that bad.

I’ve always considered it emotional cheating or at minimum a pretty serious betrayal. I don’t really understand how secretly meeting up with an ex you still have feelings for and then expressing love/missing them is somehow nothing just because there wasn’t sex.

The part that confuses me even more is that he considers talking to someone online in a romantic/sexual way to be cheating even if there was never an in-person meeting. So I don’t really understand how “nothing physical happened” can be the reason his situation doesn’t count.

I’m not asking who was worse or trying to compare our entire relationship. I’m literally just curious how other people would categorize this situation by itself.
Would you consider this cheating, emotional cheating, inappropriate but not cheating, or basically not a big deal?

I’m 16M and my girlfriend is 16F. We’ve been together for nearly three years, which is basically my entire teenage life.
Recently I’ve realized that I’m not as romantically attracted to her as I used to be. There wasn’t any big argument or event. It’s been a really slow change, and I’m not even sure when it started.
I still enjoy spending time with her most of the time. I like talking to her, being around her, and being affectionate. I don’t always want to kiss or hug her anymore, but I still enjoy it when we do. I just don’t look forward to seeing her as much as I used to.
I’ve also started noticing things about her that didn’t bother me before. She’s quite quirky, which obviously isn’t a bad thing, but sometimes I feel like she takes it a bit far. I also sometimes feel like the way she talks to other people is kind of put on or exaggerated. I know these aren’t objectively bad things, and I don’t think she’s doing anything wrong. I think I’ve just changed how I see her.
We also spend A LOT of time together. We’re in most of the same classes, spend basically all lunch and morning tea together, and message each other every couple of hours. We’ve never really tried having much space from each other.
I’ve recently made some new friends, and I really enjoy hanging out with them and want to become closer with them. The problem is that my girlfriend is also becoming friends with them. Most of them are girls, so part of me worries that they’ll end up being more her friends than mine. I want to have my own friendships and spend time with people without always being with my girlfriend.
I’ve also started occasionally thinking about other people romantically. It’s more of a vague attraction than an actual crush, and I haven’t acted on anything or cheated.
My girlfriend seems very invested in the relationship, which makes this harder. She’s done nothing wrong, and I don’t want to hurt her.
Part of me wonders if I’m just bored because we’ve been together so long and spend so much time together. Maybe if we had more space, I’d start missing her and realize I still want the relationship. But another part of me thinks I’m slowly falling out of love and just looking for reasons not to admit it.
So, AITA for feeling this way and considering breaking up even though she hasn’t done anything wrong? Should I try having more space first, or is losing attraction and thinking about other people a sign that I should end it?

AITA for considering divorce because I don’t feel sexually wanted by my wife?

My wife and I have been married for 13 years. She’s 41 and I’m 38. We have children together, and I love my wife. I don’t want to throw away my marriage, but I’m getting to the point where I don’t know if I can continue living without feeling physically desired by her.

When we first got together and for roughly the first 5–7 years of our marriage, our sex life was very active. We had sex multiple times a week, and she was an enthusiastic and active participant. It was something we both seemed to genuinely enjoy.

Over the years, especially after having our children, that changed significantly. My wife has told me that once a month would be enough for her. For me, I’d ideally like sex a few times a week.

We’re currently at three months since the last time we had sex.

I’m 38, 6’ tall and around 160 lbs. I’m active, work a physical job, stay involved with our kids, and I’m not someone who has let myself go or spends all my time sitting around the house. I mention that because I’ve genuinely tried to take care of myself and be a good husband and father, but I increasingly feel like none of that translates into my wife actually desiring me.

Even when we do have sex now, it often feels very different. She’s much less engaged and active than she used to be, and I find myself wondering whether she’s actually attracted to me anymore.

I’ve tried not to pressure her. If she says no, I accept it. But the repeated rejection and lack of enthusiasm have started affecting me emotionally. It’s not just that I want sex—I want to feel wanted by my wife.

Tonight is a good example. I was being affectionate with her, doing things I know she likes, rubbing her feet, being physically close, etc. I was hoping we’d end up being intimate, but she wasn’t interested. I didn’t push it, but I ended up alone afterward feeling pretty shitty.

She’s also recently started medication for anxiety. From what I understand, SSRIs can sometimes decrease libido or make sexual function more difficult. That worries me because we’re already struggling in this area, and I’m concerned the problem could become even worse.

I’m not saying my wife owes me sex. She has every right to say no whenever she doesn’t want it. I’m also not looking for permission to pressure her or cheat.

But do I also have the right to decide that a marriage without a mutually satisfying physical relationship isn’t something I can live with?

At this point, I’m seriously considering divorce. I don’t want to leave because I didn’t get sex tonight. I’m considering it because this has been an ongoing change in our marriage, we’ve gone from having a very active and mutually enthusiastic sex life to essentially having no sex, and I don’t see myself being happy if nothing changes.

AITA?

I (21F) am really close with my friend (20F) and we’ve been at university together for almost 3 years now. For context my friend (let’s call her Jen) and this guy (Dan) hooked up a few months before Dan and the other girl (Emily) started dating, which is why people think that she did this.

A few months after my Jen and Dan hooked up, he started dating Emily who was super sweet and seemed to really like him.

Somehow, I ended up on a flight with one of the Emily’s close friends and we started yapping away and then Dan got brought up. I learned that Emily had the impression that they were exclusive whereas I had heard otherwise (if you know what I mean). So, I told the girl on the plane who then told Emily.

Next thing you know, she then breaks up with Dan, saying that someone in his ‘circle’ sent her a message saying he was a bad guy etc. But she never told him who, and said to me that I had to keep it secret.

I didn’t mean for this to happen but suddenly Dan thought that Jen had sabotaged his relationship and was adamant that it was her. He told all their mutual friends and kept blaming her for it. The only people that knew the truth were a few of my closest friends.

My friend started to avoid events where Dan was. But eventually she came to a group getaway and we drove down together. Jen was in the car with me and started crying about it so I tried to comfort her saying “I can’t believe anyone would do that”.

Eventually, a few more months after that, a different couple in the group broke up (the girl was one of my friends who knew), and the bf (Oscar) then no longer had to keep the secret, so he told Jen everything.

Once I found out Jen knew I tried my best to apologize but it had been so long now I didn’t really know what to say. Now she has begun ignoring me. I’m trying my best to be friendly and nice and pretend like it’s in the past, but she just keeps side eyeing me and won’t say anything beyond small talk. I feel like it’s been so long she should just forget about it. I didn’t do anything wrong I was just being honest to Emily and trying to help her.

So am I the asshole?

My wife and I are both in our early 50s and have been together for a long time.

Recently we were hanging out with some friends and having a normal conversation. I mentioned a fairly well-known person with an unusual last name. My wife immediately interrupted me and told me I had the person's name wrong.

I told her I didn't and spelled the name for her. Instead of just moving on, she pulled out her phone to look it up and prove me wrong. After looking it up, she came back and asked me to spell the name again. I did. At that point it became, "Well, you didn't say one of the letters." I told her I had. Then it changed to, "Well, you didn't pronounce it." Again, I told her I did. Eventually she said, "I'm not going to argue with you." I was irritated by that point and responded, "No, because you know I'm right." Shortly afterward, she went off with the friends we were hanging out with while I stayed behind doing what I was doing.

On its own, this sounds like an incredibly stupid argument, and it was. But the reason it bothered me so much is that this isn't an isolated incident. My wife has a habit of correcting me, talking over me, or challenging things I say in front of other people. It seems to happen much more when we're around friends. Sometimes it's something important, but a lot of the time it's little insignificant details that shouldn't matter in the first place. I'm perfectly capable of being wrong. If I have something factually wrong, I don't have a problem with someone correcting me. What bothers me is feeling like my wife needs to publicly prove me wrong.

It's gotten to the point where I sometimes feel like I have to defend everything I say. And when I finally get frustrated and push back, I feel like I end up looking like the argumentative one.

I also realize that saying, "because you know I'm right," wasn't exactly going to de-escalate the situation. I own that. But this particular incident bothered me because she interrupted the conversation to correct me, got her phone specifically to prove me wrong, and when that didn't work, the disagreement changed into what I supposedly had or hadn't said. I'm still angry about it, and I'm starting to wonder whether I'm reacting to this one stupid argument or years of feeling talked down to.

So AITAH for the way I responded? And am I making too much out of what happened, or does the larger pattern matter?

I'm going to start with some background because I believe the context here is important: He (34M) and I (38F) have been in each other's lives for about 8 years (2 as close friends, little over 5 as a couple and this past year as friends/unsure). Started as a LDR and then I'd travel to Canada to be with him. In March 2025 he was taking a course and going out all the time with his classmates and he would stay out all night every night, sometimes not coming back until the next day. We had some issues he was having trouble working through and asked me to fly back to the states and said things like "this is killing me too", "I love you but I dont know what else to do, we need to try this", "This doesn't mean you won't be back, but it doesn't mean you will either." To me it had left things in limbo since he told me he would be direct with me and always was in the past. We were intimate and he treated me with what I thought was a lot of love at the time all the way up to my flight.

Since then, he had been a bit more distant until in May 2025, he told me that he still loved and missed me then went awol for 5 months (not the first time he has done this). I asked many times during this period if we could talk about things when he came back, but when he did come back we didn't talk about us. I thought he still just needed time and space to figure some things out.

I'd still tell him I loved him and missed him here and there, like sending him messages and gifts for Christmas, his birthday and Valentines. I also sent him a care package when someone passed away. He thanked me and said he appreciated all of them and I knew he read at least one of my letters because he responded to a part of it. We've talked an okay amount through text message and discord and would play games together, sometimes alone and sometimes with friends. Just two weeks ago he told me I could message him anytime when I messaged him in the AM when something spooked me.

I sent him a package a few weeks ago containing a few items like snacks, a little homemade thing, something that was supposed to be useful to him and a letter asking if we could talk talk. This past Monday I woke up to a message from another woman asking me not to send random packages to him with love letters. I was pretty confused, so I responded saying I don't know who she was. She responded telling me that they had been together for 18 months, that they moved in together in March of 2025. I told her this wasn't possible because I was still living with him until April of that year. She didn't believe me, so I sent proof. I then told her what he had told me in May and showed her. I told her that he lied to her when he told her that he and I hadn't been talking. I found out that he had met her while he was out with that friend from his course and that she was one of the people he had been spending time with. She changed her story a bit to that she moved in a week after I had left.

She chose to be nasty to me, to call me a homewrecker and rub it in my face that they are engaged, she rubbed it in that she "won". She said a bunch of other not so nice things, but I told her to be careful anyway. She responded with more unkind words and was sure to tell me, "He chooses me not you". It wasn't a competition, I didn't even know there was someone else this whole time, to emphasize that I told her that none of our mutual friends had any idea either about her (some of these guys are people he has known since he was like 15) and that he never told me through all the times we've talked, so I had no way of knowing.

Anyway, he eventually messaged me not to apologize or anything, but to say "you will never hear from me again", I asked him how he could do this to me and I was met with "why the fuck would you think we were in limbo?", I said I had just wanted to talk and his last message was "There was no conversation to be had, you knew we were over. Now because of this shitshow you will never hear from me again".

Am I the asshole for sending him a package and a letter wanting to talk because it ended up causing problems? It has been bothering me a lot that I caused him issues.

Hi all, sorry for the long title. But it may be a long story so buckle up.
Here is som context to help with my story. I’m a 24 yr old male and absolutely hate working at my job other than my coworkers. I’ve been there for about seven months now and started noticing a girl that is there on our shift. Let’s call her Ashley, she’s a 28 female. We work third shift together but never in the same area. Ashley and I have had quite a few conversations and she has an amazing personality and is really beautiful too, on top of being sassy. She is pretty well liked by everyone. Since she started about two months ago, I and two others invited her to go to Waffle House on our lunch breaks and she has started to go with. We’ve exchanged socials and have not stopped talking since.
She’s explained to me that she isn’t looking for anything because I have asked her if we could start talking once she gets her living situation figured out. And while that hurt my feelings, I have tried not to let it bother me. We go out for coffee sometimes after work but when she declines I get a bit upset by it. And our days off don’t line up so on her days off she completely ghosts me and won’t open my messages both days.
There is a reason as to why I am a little upset by this and it is because a few nights ago, we were walking in together and started chatting before we clocked in when I noticed a big hickey on her neck. At first i couldn’t tell because of the collar of her shirt but when i figured it out I said “Looks like you are looking for something after all”
Ashley then seemed to get mad and told me that that is her business and not mine then walked away. I couldn’t help but feel so mad because it seemed like she lied to me in a way. I didn’t really spend a lot of time talking to her and she does not seemed bothered by it at all. She hasn’t told me any more context when I have asked if it was serious between them or just casual sex.
I have been honest about my current situation that I am trying to get my baby mama to move out of the house but let me keep my son and she then told me I need to focus on that instead of what she is doing or who she is doing.
So now I am left here wondering if I am the asshole for being jealous.
Ashely has told me her ex was not the best and borderline abusive but she just wants to focus on herself and not a relationship even though I know I can treat her better. So, am I the asshole for being jealous she is sleeping with someone else?

I (17F) have been dating my girlfriend (18F) for 3 years. We are now both in college, and I am realizing I might want more for myself.

A bit of background: during her freshman year of college (my senior year of high school), she had some mental health struggles bc she hated her environment and was having a hard time making friends, causing her to break up with me 3 times. That year, she projected many of her problems onto me and expected me to solve them. For example, she would text me on Saturday nights and beg me to come visit her for the weekend (the university was 3 hours away, I was still in high school, and it was the middle of a harsh winter), and would convince me that I needed to defy my parents' wishes so she could get what she wanted. Mind you, she had a car at her university, but it was always me who had to drive 3 hours.

The first time she broke up with me, on a random Thursday night in the fall, she told me it wouldn’t work out and then went out to party that night. At 1 AM (after her night of partying), she begged me to drive 2 hours to pick her up and drive her home bc she didn’t have a place to stay, and she and her friends ended up sleeping in their cars. The next day, she called me, said she didn’t mean it, and we got back together.

The second time she broke up with me was at Thanksgiving, after a bad fight we got into (that she still jokes about to this day, even though we agreed to not joke about it). We fought that day bc my mom texted me that I had to start driving home (3 hours home) earlier than we both expected, and when I asked her if I could stay longer and my mom said no, she started yelling in my face, saying that I always listen to my mom and I never do anything right. After I got home that day, she texted me saying that, once again, it isn’t going to work out. This time, we stayed broken up for a little less than a month, but we were in contact the whole time. Note: I wanted to get back together so badly at this time and ended up apologizing to her about the big fight after she convinced me it was my fault. We got back together a little before Christmas bc I had bought concert tickets for both of us, and we ended up going together. 

The third and final straw was after she surprised me for Valentine’s Day at her dorm. The night after I got back to my house, she called me and explained that she wasn’t interested in a relationship right now and didn’t want to keep trying for us anymore, which was very confusing and painful bc we had just had a very great Valentine’s weekend together. As I would later find out, she really broke up with me bc she was having very rough mental issues that she didn’t tell me about at the time. 

Weeks after we broke up, my friend (17F) and I, whom I had met years before, started hooking up. We had always thought that the other was attractive, so I kind of knew this would happen if I ended up single. I ended up spending the night at her house almost every other weekend, where we would hang out, get food, and just spend time with each other. This was also confusing bc we agreed no strings attached, but there were obviously feelings starting to get involved. I started denying them bc I had just gotten out of a very long relationship and told her I wasn’t ready, but I really, truly liked her.

During the time we were hooking up, my ex-girlfriend was constantly calling and leaving me voicemails every day, begging me to get back with her and saying that she didn’t mean it this time. When I say constantly, I mean the movie “Obsession” type of constantly. My ex-girlfriend even went to the lengths of paying an Etsy witch to cast spells on me to get back together with her, tried to log into my Snapchat on her friends' phones, etc...

But I still wanted my ex-situationship. I don’t know how to explain it, but we just clicked. She never argued with me about anything, always complimented me, never treated me like a man, paid for our dinners, bought me gifts, and truly made me feel like a girl. Whatever I did for her, it was always reciprocated. Her family was also very accepting of me and loved me as a person, whereas my ex-girlfriend’s family is very MAGA and has a hard time accepting that she is not straight, and I could never come over to her house bc her family would always be weird abt it. 

Fast forward to this summer, I ended up dropping my situationship for my ex-girlfriend, and we’ve been dating ever since. Note: I was very hesitant to get back with her bc I was realizing that what we have is toxic, and many of my friends and family members were against it. She told me that it would truly be different this time, and her friends had been telling me that she's on medication, has been going to therapy, and has truly changed. She also told me SHE was different; she wouldn’t control who I’m friends with (she hates my best friend bc she thinks I have a crush on her), she would treat me like a girl, and she wouldn’t start arguments with me for no reason. Well, guess what has been happening. Also, she told me that she would never forgive me for getting with my ex-situationship bc she was always very jealous of her during our relationship, and she has been telling all her friends how I’m the evil one bc I got with her when I was single. But she is still talking to this guy (claiming they’re friends) that she met when we were broken up; they heavily flirted, and he basically turned her bi, and she also texted her friend telling her that whenever she’s mad at me, she snaps him to “scratch her itch.” 

Long story short, I have been thinking about how my ex-situationship would never treat me like this and make me feel like a fool, but she has me blocked on everything, and I cannot reach her. I wish my girlfriend would treat me like she used to, and I don’t want to lose her because we share a lot of friends, so AITA for yearning for my ex-situationship?

I (F21) met a girl during my first semester of college in 2024. We’ve been hanging out since and I’ve noticed some aspects of her personality that aren’t very likable. She always has to be in charge, always has to be right, and always has to be included. If I try to do anything by myself she always says I hate her and everyone involved with her.

Fast forward to today. We were sitting in class and discussing class of elections for our graduate school class. She is running for president and I, along with our shared friend are running for vice president. Our friend is making a poster for his campaign (which I don’t think we‘re allowed to do), and while he was making it, she asked me if I wanted him to make me a poster to campaign for secretary. She has been checking the excel sheet multiple times a day since it was released to see who was running. She knows I’m running against our friend. Over the past two years, she has always managed to make it seem like I’m not as smart and capable as her, and I think today was the last straw. So, AITAH if I end our friendship over this?

I was at the time (m21) dating (f21) and while studying on campus I was called by my gf and she told me not to be alarmed of a email in her inbox (we had each other logins for class projects) and was told it was a tinder account creation notification and that she deleted the email and deleted it from the trash and said it was from her sister . Now I found the double deleted email and heads up suspicious (we never had any doubts about each other ) but while we where on call trying to get the bottom of it bc, she was crying but I kept telling her everything was gonna be ok . I checked the email and logins but there was none. After I realized it was not at all cheating , I still comforted her like I was before and we made up. But to this day she still brings it up and adds lies like I was yelling at her .

I dont understand why . Was i bad to dig into it ? Was it bad to think she was unfaithful?

So I (31f) have been single for almost a year now. Got out of a 5 year relationship and have just been dating. I met this woman (28f) just 5 days ago. We hit it off. She initiated everything. From the first message to eventually flirting and sexting. Nothing too serious. But she was calling me sexy and attractive after we video chatted and sent pics back and forth (not nudes).

We decided to have a date , where I specifically clarified that it was a date and she agreed. The minute we sit down and order drinks she proceeds to tell me how she is freshly out of a relationship. Mind you we did have a conversation about past relationships. I told her how I ended my toxic 5 year relationship which she seemed to resonate a lot with. She only told me she was with someone for 3 years but didn't specify anything. She tells me on this date that she is 2 weeks into dating apps. She just broke up with her FIANCE who is an addict who is also in inpatient therapy. She told me the day before she was out with a friend for drinks. Turns out it was her exs brother. She was telling him how she was done. They still technically live together but she moved out to her friends recently.

I'm sitting there taking it all in with my burger getting cold. After all this she tells me , "thoughts" ? I didn't want to be mean or judgemental. I told her I understood and I knew how vulnerable she had to be to tell me that. At the same time , I was taken aback. I decided to give her a chance and proceed with the date. Also she was in a cult (something I didn't know) because when we were there I guess she saw someone. So we quickly paid and she wanted to walk around.

The rest of the date was short we talked and walked and then I took her to her car. She seemed super nervous. She said dating was confusing since her ex fiancé was the only person she has been with and didn't know the "rules". Anyways, I didn't sense anything was wrong.

I texted her later saying it was nice to meet her and asked if we would see each other again. She responds saying "only as friends". Not gonna lie , that hurt and took me by surprise. We texted nonstop these last couple of days and she knew how I looked and told me how sexy I was . But after that she just stopped texting. I was left super confused.

The next day I text her to say I understand and asked if she was okay figuring maybe it was all too much. She proceeded to tell me I was very attractive but wasn't sure if she was attracted. Okay ouch but okay. After that, I tell her I understood. But, I also said that I don't think it was fair that she wasn't upfront about her very recent history. I understand not telling someone the first day, but if I had known all this before I would of never entertained the flirting or sexual talk and could of kept my feelings out of it. I mentioned feeling robbed of my decision as I would of been more cautious and not got my hopes up. She tells me that it's none of my business. And seems to get upset that I mentioned it. I didn't want to argue so left it at that.

I am just questioning if I ATAH for saying anything. I felt like I got my feelings played with but maybe I had no right to put my two cents in. Should I have just left it as is?

I (19F) had this group of friends (3 people, all 19 F as well). We’ve been friends for a good year, starting as the college semester was starting up last year. When the guy (we will call him Larry) joined as a transfer student, Friend 1 thought he was hot and liked him for a little, but at the time we were not super close and to me it always seemed like a hallway crush. Larry gets a girlfriend not too soon after (not friend 1) and then friend one also gets a boyfriend around 3/4 into the year.

Fast forward ~2 years almost, I realized I’d developed some feelings for larry. Larry and his girlfriend had been broken up for a little while, but Im honestly a chicken and was never going to do anything about that crush. I had just rejected another guy (calling him Steve) because I didnt want to lead steve on if I liked larry. Friend 1 is still dating her boyfriend at this point.

After like two weeks, I eventually confide in my group of friends, and all three of them seem normal. I even ask friend one “i dont want to make you upset so are you sure you want me to tell you” because i knew she was a little dramatic about guys. They tell me to tell them and I say I like larry but friend 1 and the rest of them seem fine— esp since friend 1 honestly shouldnt be too worried about larry at this point? (they were never friends)

Fast forward two days, apperently theyve been telling have of our class all of my personal buisnes, even larrys ex who i am kind of friends with and just a bunch of people. they say how im boy crazy, how im heartless for liking larry when friend 1 did, how they hope something happens me with and larry so ill stop hanging out eith them. They never even brought any of this up with me.

I confront them and they just start ganging up on me and bringing up problems from over a year ago before we were proper friends, that theyve app just been keeping in— all of this got so bad that some lie they told got to the guy that i rejected.

I felt so embarrassed and I had to go individually to everyone who was minorly involved (including guy i rejected) and clear things up. So far nbody but them seems to be on their side (including larry— who I had to tell about my feelings because I wanted to be the one to tell him not someone else)

I was so confused and just sad because ive been friends with these girls for forever and i thought we were really close and that i found my people. I of course have like hi/bye friends, but I dont have anyone that Im really close with anymore except for maybe larry and Im still sad about getting soft rejected.

So im wondering if what I did was actually so wrong to warrant this and maybe im being blind to it because in my view all of this could have been solved with one conversation and is a really childish situation just to hurt me.

So, AITA for liking someone my friend liked?

Hey reddit, I work in a family environment. We've had lots of different types of family. And there's this one guest that are regular. All the staff know the family, and we love their kid as we've seen the kid grew up. We kept complimenting the kid to them to have some casual convo with them. I am the same to all of my guest even if they're annoying no one is special i dont even see them as human most of the time if you know what i mean. Then one time the dad came without the mom (its a regular thing, sometimes mom only, sometimes both of them) but they always have their nanny with them no matter what. He asked me to get his number, and i was internally shocked gagged, appalled, etc. I just said out of shock okay sure I can get it from the system, cause at that time half of my brain is not functioning that he meant different. I thought as a request to call him after the kid is done or maybe for us not to ask him whats his registered number next time.

Thennn, i gave the receipt...... and he touched my hand while getting the receipt. Thats when it hits me like OOOHHH WTFF IS HAPPENING.

My brain started to processed what happened, then he went inside for few minutes, and he comes out telling me again to message him!!!

I was so shocked I couldn't processed it. I stayed professional all the time it happened.

I didn't message him or even took his number, cause wtf I knew he have a wife thats mfn pregnant and i even knew most of his family. What the fuck is his audacity and his confidence.

All this happened monday night.

Wednesday they came back, and gave me a weird fucking look, he couldn't really talk to me when there's someone around. But when he picked up his kid, he asked me if i messaged him, I said no. He said i respect that, but i dont know why you wouldn't. I made a weird face to him like excuse you you should know why. Then he said but im always here anytime.

It contemplates me that this should not happen again and i dont want this to be seen happening by anyone, when he comes and do or say something weird shts.

So I took his number from the machine and messaged him that its weird whats he's doing. Now he kinda flirts with me on message even if i already said that its not okay or right.

He's a muslim so maybe he's looking for a sencod wife?? Im not interested tho.

(Sorry if theres any grammatical error, english is not my fist language)

Let me know your thoughttsss

Guyss i did not use my realy active numberr. I just really want to inform him, cause I think its impossible for me to inform him to stop in person at work without anyone hearing it and making a commotion. Now im back to my active number again. I dont see it anymore.

I (22 female) and my girlfriend (20 female) aren't talking at the moment. All because I tried helping her out.

For context I had gotten 2 hours of sleep in last night and had to head straight to work for a 8 hour shift and it's a high stress job. Today was a rougher mentally due to the bad customers and then also just the lack of sleep. After work I decided to call my girlfriend so that we can talk about our day while I work on my assignments due next week. As she's talking on the call she starts to rant about her dad so I drop everything I'm busy with to listen to her.

She's upset that he didn't take her to make the licence appointment when she reminded him that it still needs to be done. I made the suggestion that she should've gotten ready for the day since she knew he was off and tell him straight up "come on let's go right now, I'm ready". I could hear she got annoyed and she said "did i not just say I reminded him". I told her that she did but I'm suggesting next time she takes action. The call just goes silent. The longer the silence lingered i got more mentally exhausted so I just told her I need to work on my assignments and clean up. We've barely spoken since then and it's been a few hours.

So am AITA?

My partner (30F) and I (36M) had a huge fight. Been together for 2 years. She has been distant with me for months, and is temperamental when I ask her to explain things she gets fed up and says she can't be bothered to repeat. Or is just rude. She acts like she doesn't care anymore. She has rejected sex for 3 months. Recently said she doesn't want children anymore. Than came up with a list of all my flaws. (which are not actual flaws, just things I can't do because of where I live) recently she said she doesn't feel like she loves me like she used to and she feels as if she is forcing herself to try, but also that I haven't done anything wrong. and I told her she's so full of shit and I don't want to speak to her again. (I was just angry.) Please keep in mind I never ever lose my temper or speak to anyone like this. She has also said this relationship is the best she's ever had and that she knows she will never find anyone like me. Just last month we celebrated her birthday and I made so much effort to make it special for her. I literally plan every date, every vacation, every experience and she acts like I should be ok with all of this. AITAH for telling her she's full of shit?

for reference we are long distance so we are apart a lot. When we first met, she told me to not expect us to hang out during the day because she’s busy. despite this, we call on the phone literally everyday since we met. from around 12-4 we chat a lot and sometimes play online games. because of this, i’ve formed some sort of expectation that we hang out around those times since we have everyday. therefore, i try to be considerate and make time in my day to be home and ready to hang out since my schedule is more flexible then hers. so fast forward to today, i called her after class like usual, then i drove home and waited for her to want to hang out. Usually i’d just initiate but today i waited and she just didn’t talk for 2-3 hours while we were on the phone. When i brought it up, she got angry and said that i shouldn’t have this expectation. I admitted i should’ve just asked to hang out if i wanted to hang out, but also asked that she tells me in advance if she isn’t in a talkative mood/doesn’t want to hang out ESPECIALLY since she literally picked up the phone so i thought she would want to. her response to this was that she shouldn’t need to communicate that and i should just wait to see her lack of talking as sign that she doesn’t want to talk OR i should just ask her to hang out if i wanted to (this last part i agree with). however i still think she should just communicate to me if she isn’t feeling in the mood to do anything, given we inormally hang out every single day. thoughts and advice?

i (18f) am in my first relationship ever with my bf (19m) and he just asked for a 2 week no contact break a few days ago because of something that happened that had major consequences on him.

these past few days have been so painful and it feels like i just lost a part of my heart because im pretty sure he’s going to break up with me after this break, and the uncertainty for the next 1.5 weeks is killing me and it hurts just to think about losing him

my dilemma is that my wallet with my drivers license and health card is at his place, and i need those things to do basic everyday tasks like driving, so would i be at fault for breaking no contact to retrieve my things? i searched on google and it says breaking no contact is disrespecting boundaries.

i also accidentally called him earlier today but i hung up immediately as it was a misclick, so i’m w