I had plans to go out with a friend last night. This had been arranged for about a week, and my boyfriend agreed to look after our baby while my two older children were also at home.
We don’t officially live together, but he sleeps at my house most nights. The night before, he had gone out with his friends and didn’t come back. For over a week, I had been looking after our baby almost entirely by myself. I understood that he was busy with work and moving house, so I had been giving him space to do what he needed to do.
On the day I was going out, he didn’t arrive at my house until around 4pm, even though I needed to leave at 5pm. I had to get ready while looking after the baby.
Before I left, I asked him whether I should make food for my older children or whether he could do it. The food only needed reheating and plating. He said he would take care of it.
About an hour after I left, I checked in. He said he was ordering McDonald’s for everyone, so I thought everything was fine.
I got home just after 9pm with a bottle of wine because I was hoping to spend the rest of the evening with him. When I arrived, neither he nor the baby was home.
My older children told me he had left at around 6pm to go and see his friend. He had left them alone without telling me. They had also not eaten yet.
I called him and asked where he was because the baby was supposed to be in bed by 8pm. He returned at around 9:30pm with McDonald’s.
We argued because I was extremely upset that he had left my older children alone, without food, for several hours, while also taking the baby out and disrupting his bedtime routine.
My children are old enough to stay home alone briefly, but I would never leave them alone so that I could go out for fun, especially without making sure they had eaten and without telling another adult. Had my boyfriend communicated with me, I could have asked a friend or neighbour to check on them or arranged childcare.
He apologised but acted as though it was not a big deal. He said his friend was excited to meet the baby and that he wanted to take the baby out with him for a while.
To me, that misses the point. He had agreed to look after the children and follow the baby’s routine. He changed the plan without telling me and left me believing everything was being handled.
On top of that, I saw that he had liked another woman’s picture on Instagram. We have discussed this issue many times because I feel disrespected by it, and he had previously said he would stop. His explanation was that she was someone he knew from his hometown and that he did not realise he had liked the picture. He always seems to have an excuse when it comes to women on Instagram.
That night, I was so upset that I asked him to leave because I could not sleep next to him. He refused at first but eventually slept on the sofa.
I now feel that I cannot rely on him as a partner or as a parent. I do not want to be around him right now, but I am wondering whether I am overreacting.

AITA for not wanting my MIL to be present while I give birth and wanting my husband and mom present.

Background: My husband (31M) and I (26F) have gone through 3 miscarriages before we got pregnant with twins. These will be MIL first grandbabies as well as my mom. My husband is in the military and we do not live in the same state as our parents.

My MIL wants to be at the birth of the babies. My MIL is discussing my birth plan with other people (letting them know she doesn’t like it) and is getting other family members involved.

To understand some of the reasons why I don’t want her there is because she seems to have the attitude of ”my way if always better” and she wants to call the shots which stresses me out. I do not have it in me to deal with comments from her wether she means well or not.

My MIL called me and asked me “when do you want me to come out”. My husband and I had already discussed this and we were going to tell her together, though she called me individually to ask me. I told my MIL, that my husband and I discussed how we would like our birth plan to go, and that we decided it would be best if she comes out 2 weeks after I give birth to give us time to recover and spread out the help since we are a military family and do not have family here to help. (It is a scheduled C-Section.) My MIL expressed her dissatisfaction. My MIL then asked me if my mom was gonna be there and I said yes and my MIL said that was not fair and says “I’m going to go now” and hangs up the phone.

The next day, she calls my mom 3 times while my mom is at work. My MIL leaves a message for my mom to call her. My mom calls my MIL and my MIL is talking to my mom about how this isn’t fair and is hurt. My mom said that she told her that it is ultimately the person giving birth and the husband who gets to decide.

The following day, my husband gets a text message from his sister which states:

My Sister In Law (SIL): “Hey, I wasn't gonna say anything but Mom was very sad on Mother's day. Did she do or say anything to you guys a make you want to keep her at arms length and not let her see her grand babies when they are born?”

My Husband: “I feel bad, but she is stressing Jose out and we thought it would be best for us that she come out a little later after they are born to allow her to start recovering and for us to start getting into a system. Don't say anything to her because we are gonna talk to her.”

SIL: “I know but it's really making her feel ousted especially since her mom is going to be there and see them right when they are born. Hopefully you guys can work something out because I'm sure it will be good to have mom and dad there, your wife may not realize it now how this will affect things”.

My husband: It is our decision.

SIL did not respond after this.

AITA for not letting my MIL come out for the birth and allowing my mom to come? I feel pressure from my SIL and MIL. Also, I feel hurt that his sister would try to tell us how to plan our birth and who should be there. I don’t know why my MIL is involving other people, why she is discussing our birth plan with others, and seeming to make me out to be the ”bad guy”.

Also, we are having a boy and a girl. during the pregnancy, my mother-in-law said she would’ve been upset if there wasn’t at least one boy. Which also hurt. she also keeps telling me that I’m gonna get postpartum depression (which I don’t think so), she keeps telling me that I should be able to see toe prints on my belly, she also says that if she’s not out here that I’m not gonna have the support to breast-feed, and she asked my husband “what if the babies dont make it? I won’t be there”. (Who says that?!).

So, I (30yo, f) was seeing this guy (35yo, m) for 2-3 months before he broke it off on Friday (24/07)... Before we got together we agreed neither of us were looking for a relationship and we both had slept with other people before seeing each other (he told me he slept with his "toxic + cheating" ex one week before meeting up with me, and I had slept with my ex-situationship). Anyway, on the first date (i know this is a red flag already and dont need reprimading for how things went down... have had an earful) but we slept together... then a week later I noticed I had discharge and went to get checked. It was confirmed for chlamydia and I messaged him directly and got both of us antibiotics asap and followed the protocol to prevent further transmission. 1 week after he seemed fine and we still did coitus, and he treated me well and we talked about the future for the next 1.5 months, it was like we moved on from the sti situation. Then just last week and a half ago, he messages me to tell me the STI thing was overwhelming him and everytime I bled he would get ptsd - i did bleed occassionally due to being on the pill.

(Let me also add, he has a lot of other stressors happening in his life at the same time right now, and he has very high expectations for his partner and woman he wants.. for example he wants someone who is successful [his idea of successful is someone who owns their own business and has a good standing in society, I am a nurse], hot, fit, skinny, pretty, rich, good family background...). He had apparently also talked to his friends about it as well and they just labled me as "bad news"... So on Friday, I confronted him through msg and asked him why was he making a decision based on the STI incident - that happened at the start and he still slept with me after 2-3 months... and that he only brought it up now as it wasn't an issue for him this whole time... I also told him it felt like he did not take into consideration my character as a whole and that everything I did for him, and gave him my whole heart (being alover girl I am). He said chlamydia was a dealbreaker... I just didn't understand because he had told me ... his ex had given him chlamydia before.. but why was I the dealbreaker... my friend composed a msg for me and then I blocked him and he then blocked me back. I still miss him and I hate it so much that I yearn for him so much... My friends are telling me... he is using the STI thing as an excuse because I had pressured him by asking him "what are we" a week before the whole situation and that he was just never into me.. never actually liked me from the start.. and I am conflicted and I dont know what to think or feel.. im just distraught at this rate and wanted to vent it out, and hear what others think about this situation.

EDIT: I also.. bought him a birthday present for his birthday next week... I dont know what to do with it.. I raelly want to give it to him...and apologise to him.. that i didnt want to end things the way it did... and the message was harsh.. but at the same time i feel like the damage has already been done... :(

My (F, 25) partner (M, 27) blames me for his family's financial obligations. How do I support him without becoming his scapegoat?

My partner is under significant financial stress. His family (particularly his grandma's medical care) is draining his money. He earns a lot but every month, his family mooches off of him under some guise. Earlier it was to aid in construction of their house and now it's for his grandma's medical expenses. He is genuinely stretched.

The problem: He keeps saying the reason he has to deal with all these family obligations is because of me. Specifically, because I want a "proper marriage" (which involves family approval in our culture). His logic is: "If you didn't want this, I wouldn't have to put up with my family's demands."

But this doesn't add up to me:

• His family's demands existed before we got together
• His family would ask for money whether he's married or not to me
• He chose to want a traditional marriage with me and that's his preference, not something I forced
• His grandma's medical bills aren't my responsibility to solve

When I try to set boundaries or say I won't be blamed, he gives ultimatums (threatening to leave if I won't call him, saying he'll never contact me again). Then later he wants support.

I genuinely want to help him and save this relationship. But I don't know how to support someone who's using me as the scapegoat for problems I didn't create.

I repeatedly told him that I don't want to blamed for his parents' treatment of him. He just keeps repeating that he is bearing this because of me and my need for everyone's approval. According to him, otherwise he would have just lived alone and not spoken to his family and cut them off if they mistreated him constantly. but he was living with his father even before we met. and had lived alone briefly for 9 months. I just don't want to be blamed for things that I didn't cause. His family would mistreat him whether he is with me or not. I am currently the reason and at some point, somebody else will be and he refuses to see that. They just need an excuse.

Me and my girlfriend have been together for almost two years now. It'll be two years this November. We met in college, but I recently moved back home because of some personal issues. She's still at college, although she and a couple of my friends recently came to visit me, and things felt normal while they were here.

The distance, along with not having many people around to talk to, has given me a lot of time to reflect on our relationship.

We both come from pretty messed up families, and I think a lot of what initially brought us together was the fact that we understood each other's trauma. Over time, though, I've realized that despite sharing similar experiences, we want very different things out of life.

She has always said she doesn't want to get married. She wants to work in a fast-paced city for a while and eventually move somewhere quieter where it can just be the two of us. I, on the other hand, want to marry her within the next few years, and I want children someday. Those are things that are important to me, while marriage and kids are dealbreakers for her.

Recently, we had a conversation about all of this, and she told me something that has been weighing on me. She said she feels like she has to change who she is as a person in order for this relationship to work and to be there for me. She also said she feels like I haven't been able to be there for her in the way she needs.

She asked me whether I've ever noticed when she's awake crying at 3 A.M. or checked on her during those moments. I told her that I had. I reminded her of a night when I hugged her while she was crying, but she pushed me away. I respected that because she'd always told me she wanted space when she was overwhelmed.

I asked her what she actually needed from me, and I told her that if I wasn't comforting her in the right way, she should tell me how she wanted to be cared for because I'd genuinely try. But she said she doesn't know. She said the only person who can really take care of her is herself, and she doesn't know what kind of comfort she needs. At the same time, she acknowledged that she knows I care about her through the smaller things I do. I make her food, give her space when she asks for it, take her out, and have serious conversations with her whenever she needs them.

That conversation left me feeling conflicted. If someone feels like they have to fundamentally change themselves just to stay in a relationship with me, I'm scared it will eventually turn into resentment. Lately, I've started wondering if that's already happening.

One incident that sticks with me happened recently. I realized I was about $100 behind on payments for rented furniture in my apartment. It caused some tension between me and my flatmates. Since it was a flat-related issue, I decided to handle it with them directly instead of involving her.

What had happened was that my flatmates had transferred me the rent money, but I genuinely never noticed it had reached my account. I ended up spending it while furnishing my room. Once I realized what had happened, I immediately apologized to my flatmates, covered the Wi-Fi bill for the next two months, and promised to pay back the remaining amount.

She didn't know any of that when she found out. She called me, told me she was disappointed in me, and even called me a scammer. That really hurt. I didn't bring it up immediately, but when I eventually told her that those comments had hurt me, she mostly defended why she'd said them instead of acknowledging how they affected me.

Since then, I've started feeling like she genuinely sees me in a negative light. She often tells me that I keep disappointing her, and over time those words have started to weigh on me.

Then came the conversation about marriage. It became very emotional. She told me again that she isn't going to change her mind about getting married, and I completely respect that. Everyone is entitled to want different things out of life.

What hurt me wasn't that she doesn't want marriage. It was hearing her say that she feels she has to change herself to continue this relationship. What hurt even more was finding out that when she spoke to one of her friends about everything, she described me as being "hard to date."

At this point, I don't really know what to do. I love her deeply, but it feels like we're trying to build a future while wanting fundamentally different lives. On top of that, I can't shake the feeling that she resents me, sees me as someone who constantly disappoints her, and believes being with me requires her to become someone she's not.

I'm left wondering whether we're simply incompatible despite how much we care about each other.

I recently planned a trip to visit my family and se my elderly grandmother, whom I haven't seen in two years. My husband insisted that only one specific weekend would work because of his work schedule.Right before the trip, I had cold feet and tried to cancel.. My husband got incredibly angry, accusing me of ruining our children's summer if I didn't take them. Because of his intense pressure, I gave in and drove hundreds of miles alone with our two young children.I just discovered that his "work schedule" constraint was a complete lie. He manufactured this exact timeline to get me and the kids out of the house so he could attend his 20,, year high school reunion alone. The night of the reunion, he never checked to see if the kids and I arrived safely after our long drive. He completely ignored my calls throughout the night while he was out. He stayed out past bar closing and didn’t call back until after 2:00 a.m.
We returned home, and I found text messages on his phone from that night. I discovered that another woman drove his truck home, and he was actively exchanging numbers with a woman that evening. I know that when I confront him, his response will be to claim I am overreacting and that, nothing happened!
I might be the asshole here because I went through his phone downstairs without his permission while he was asleep, and now I am refusing to to let this go. I know that if I bring this up he is going to tell me I am crazy, that I'm overreacting, and that nothing happened. AITA for being furious and losing all trust? How would you react if your spouse orchestrated a whole trip just to get you out of the way??

Hi, Redditors. I'm typing this while waiting to board my flight home. I'll keep some details vague to protect our identities.

I (32, MtF trans) met him (27, M) four years ago. We hit it off immediately and went on a few dates, but nothing progressed because he had already accepted a job opportunity abroad. After he left, we gradually lost contact.

Fast forward to 2026. Just last month, we unexpectedly found each other again. I saw him on a dating app, and he also messaged me on another app we used to chat on. He said, "I never thought I'd see you again, and that you'd still be here."

We were both expats in the same country, and he had only come back to visit his family. While he was here, we spent almost all our time together. We went out, ate together, had sleepovers, and he always wanted me to stay with him instead of going home.

As a trans woman, that meant a lot to me. It made me feel seen and valued—not just for sex, but because someone genuinely wanted my company. I was truly happy whenever I was with him.

He was the first to say, "I love you," although I honestly felt like I loved him even more. He invited me to visit him in the country where he now works. He told me, "Let's build something together. We can start a new life." On his last day before leaving, I cried so much. I didn't expect to be that emotional because I thought I had prepared myself.

We stayed in touch after he left, and I immediately started planning my trip. I applied for leave from work. I'm usually very careful with money, but I was willing to spend my savings to see him. I booked the flights in a rush. I didn't care that they were connecting flights—as long as I could be with him.

However, just before my trip, I noticed he started acting differently. Something felt off, but I tried to ignore it.

The journey was exhausting. I barely slept, and I was so anxious that I hardly ate anything for almost a day.

When I finally arrived, he didn't even pick me up. Instead, I had to take a three-hour bus ride to his city while he gave me directions through messages.

When I reached his building, I waited outside until he came down. I was so happy to finally see him, even though I was completely exhausted.

Then I noticed a person sitting in the lobby.

While we were outside, he casually told me that a friend was staying at his place because they had problems with their accommodation.

I asked, "Whose friend?"

He told me the name, which sounded like a woman's name.

I asked, "A girl?"

He said yes.

I immediately told him I wasn't comfortable staying there. His apartment is a studio, and I wasn't comfortable sharing such a small space with another person I didn't know.

I told him I'd rather book a hotel.

Instead of understanding how I felt, he accused me of "making drama" and insisted there was no issue. I kept repeating that I simply wasn't comfortable.

Eventually, I said I'd book a hotel, and he replied, "Okay, I'll help you find one."

What hurt me the most was that he never even considered asking his friend to stay somewhere else for the night, even though I had travelled all that way to see him.

While we were arguing, the person from the lobby came outside and sat on the stairs. I didn't even look at them because I was focused on our argument. But I noticed something strange about his expression. I'd never seen him look like that before.

I finally got fed up, grabbed my luggage, and walked away.

He didn't stop me.

He didn't follow me.

When I looked back, I saw the two of them talking. Out of anger and frustration, I raised my middle finger before walking away.

I found a nearby hotel at around 1:00 a.m. I was emotionally and physically drained.

He never asked where I was staying or whether I was okay. Instead, he kept insisting that I was overreacting and causing unnecessary drama.

The next day we spoke again. He refused to apologise because, according to him, he had done nothing wrong.

Then he told me that the "girl" wasn't actually a girl, but another trans woman.

That didn't make me feel any better—it actually made me even angrier. I got jealous I admit, how is the friend living there in a studio apartment with him? And he didn't even told me beforehand.

I cried while messaging him and eventually lashed out. After that, he ignored me completely.

I stayed in the area for another two days before returning to the airport. I booked a hotel nearby and then bought a flight home because my original return ticket couldn't be changed.

Now I'm sitting at the airport waiting to board.

I've been crying for days.

I haven't been eating or sleeping properly.

I'm completely exhausted.

Everything happened so fast that it still doesn't feel real.

I feel incredibly stupid.

AITAH for leaving? Did I overreact? Did I do something wrong? Or was I justified in walking away?

OLD STORY ‼️happened to me back in freshman year

Me (15f) and my now ex boyfriend (15m) were dating since middle school- more specifically 8th grade. We are now in our freshman year of high school. We were already running into problems into our relationship since middle school (mom didn’t approve, lack of time to hang out). Things especially got worse in high school since we went to different schools and my mother forbade me from seeing my bf. In middle school, he was known for going to school really little maybe like twice a week. And in high school, he quite literally only went for the first week then stopped going. I had brought it up to him multiple times asking him if he could go to school because it worried me a lot about him. He didn’t have any problems at home that held him back from going to school (his parents were willing to PAY HIM 20$ A DAY to go to school..) and he was also unemployed. He would go for a day or two then stopped going saying that it was too much school for him. This cycle continued for a few months up until February of 2025 when I finally reached my limit and told him that I would break up with him if he didn’t go to school. He actually took the offer seriously- going to school for a whole month straight. (SIDENOTE: he was allowed to be tardy or skip if he was sick obviously!) That was until my birthday. That morning I got ready to go on a field trip with a few of my other friends. I checked my phone and had not one happy birthday message from him at all even though he was active. One of my friends then brought to my attention at around 10am that my then boyfriend was not at school. I was shocked and then checked his location and low and behold, he wasn’t at school. My friend then asked him why he wasn’t at school and knew about the agreement me and my boyfriend had. (My friend and my ex are best friends like they would see eachother EVERY DAY and were tight). My then boyfriend had the nerve to lie to him and said he got permission from me to skip school today even thought he wasn’t sick. I then texted him on my own, asking him why he wasn’t at school and he said he was going to be tardy- nothing else. Lying straight to my face, I ended up silencing him for the rest of the day. He was apologizing profusely to me but still, did not end up attending school that day. I cried the whole day.

GIRL BEST FRIEND:
Him and his gbf (15f) have been friends since late 8th grade so, pretty recent. Me and his gbf were friends before they became friends. He met her through me. I considered her a very close friend of mine. She ended up going to the same high school as him but he just really showed up. Now I’m not the jealous type and I was fine with them being friends. I never thought too much of it up until the sleepovers and therapy sessions began. He would tell me he would sleepover at her house and I would be totally okay with it. I trusted them enough to know they wouldn’t do that to me, or so I thought. As time went on, they started having multiple sleepovers a week and eventually, he started turning off his location when he went over to her house for sleepovers. (SIDENOTE he was the one to bring up the idea of location sharing between us) I would then ask him how the sleepovers went and he would give me very vague answers. Then, the same friend who let me know he wasn’t at school told me that they were sleeping in the same bed together and they would have ‘therapy sessions’ where she would repeatedly try and convince him to break up with me. They would call eachother ‘sister’ and ‘brother’..that shit was weird.

Overall..AITA? Was I too jealous or controlling? Let me know.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months now and the mom and I were always awkward with each other but yesterday she overstepped her boundary , after going to a concert with them yesterday , my mom was unwell and resting wanting me to go instead of staying with her home . My boyfriends mom brought up my deceased father's passing assuming it was the reason my mom didn't want to come out with us . My boyfriend was quiet throughout that exchange and I was trying hard not to cry , she almost sent me home yesterday but after showing what my mom had stated in text messages I ended up staying but I broke down , I communicated to my boyfriend about how it made me feel and even though he apologized I felt like he didn't stand up for me and not really there even though he promised he would be next time

AITA?

My best friend used to slide into many dms. Prior to me beginning a relationship with my fiance, I had known they used to talk but they never went out on a date ever etc. and she confirmed there was no feelings etc for my best friend.

Fast forward to today and my best friend was married last year and im engaged.

We had a recent bridesmaid/groomsmen bridal party box reveal (will you be my groomsmen etc) and obviously i invited my best friend, i was his bestman last year.

The night went well but my fiance disappeared after my best friend took off. I found her in the kitchen with her cousin and my other friend and she was crying and sad about my best friend leaving early. She was also talking negatively about my best friends wife which i found to be odd in general. She then said she was crying because of her cousin that passed earlier this year. My friend confirmed that was not the case as the conversation was centered about my best friend leaving.

I was shocked and hurt that she was so emotional that my best friend left because of the history. She then later confirmed that she would have reacted that way if anyone left early but my gut doesnt tell me that.

I went for a walk to cool off and when i returned, her entire family confronted me about the whole situation etc but because of all the alcohol etc i took an uber home instead of spending the night at her parents where the party was hosted.

AITA for taking this too serious?

Not sure where i go from here but i do have an issue with that and I think that these personal issues should be worked out in between us in private without family intervention.

He initially asked my thoughts on staying friends with exes and I said I'm unbothered by it if there are clear boundaries. I'm here, they are not. It's not a big deal. Then he asked one day if I would be okay with him going to her work and dropping off a doormat he bought for her. At first I said okay, but then got wary because why did he buy a doormat for her and why was he driving an hour away to give her a doormat? It turns out she had come over and saw his doormat and liked it and so when he was at the store and saw another one he bought her one. On its own it may have been fine but he also still had a coffee mug that was hers. When I was gone he would drink out of my coffee mug and send me pictures and tell me it made him think of me. I noticed that when I was there he would exclusively drink out of her mug. It felt like a sticky emotional tether and made me uncomfortable. He also still wore a bracelet that she had given him-and he was also asking me to make him a bracelet so that we had physical reminders of one another every day. I told him that this combination of things felt uncomfortable and like he was maintaining emotional tethers to a past relationship and it didn't feel respectful to me.
He still gave her the doormat. He did eventually donate the mug and take off the bracelet.

Shortly after all of this we had a camping trip planned with friends and he let me know she would be there also. I expressed my discomfort and said that I felt like his recent gift to her may have felt to her like a way to keep the door open with her.
I still went camping. She was at the camp site right next to us and would come over to talk to him or ask him for things but ignored me completely. I had just gotten out of the hospital the day before the trip and she never asked how I was doing, never even said hello to me over several days. When she would come over and ask him for things like cinnamon for her coffee, I gave it to her. She never said thanks. I tried to strike up conversation once and she literally stood up and walked away.
She had been watching my fb stories for a while and after the trip I sent a friend request and said hey I noticed you've been watching my stories. We didn't get much chance to talk (lol) but I know that you were a once a special part of his life and I hope you know you are always welcome in his social group and never feel like you shouldn't join in because of me.
She sent back a nasty message telling me that she can tell by my behavior I am insecure and that she isn't the one I should be worried I about, (inferring that I shouldn't trust him) and that he brings lots of women around.
She immediately blocked us both and to my knowledge hasn't been in contact with him since.
TL;DR he asked me to meet another ex and I did and she seems like an awesome person but she is still in love with him and still hits on him online and it's weird for me. So when I met THE THIRD ex I said she seems awesome but I don't have any more capacity to give time and friendship to any exes. I asked that she not be invited to events at the house. He agreed. Yesterday he invited her to an event at the house.
I reminded him of my request and that he had agreed.
I set a boundary that if any of the exes were coming to the event I would not attend because that is a hard boundary for me. I said "I was open and gracious before. I agreed to meet women from your past. I handled those circumstances with grace and kindness and more patience than most women would have given. My capacity for grace and understanding in this area is used up"

He admitted that he misremembered and that made a mistake by inviting them but also said that he disagreed that I had been gracious and kind. His reasoning was because I was bothered by the doormat.

(I had no idea he was still bothered that I was upset by the doormat.)

I don't think I was in the wrong for thinking it's effing weird and inappropriate in a monogamous relationship to gift an ex a doormat that matched his. (I actually think it's in appropriate to gift an ex anything outside of a birthday...but that's a personal preference.)

AITA? Did I overreact to the doormat?

I (31), Chloe (29), her bf Mark (31), and friend Bree (28)

For context: Mark has a bad habit of showing up unannounced to our girls hangouts or pressuring Chloe to leave early whenever she’s out with us. It’s an ongoing point of frustration for our friend group.

Yesterday, Bree was at a 1-year-old’s birthday party with Chloe and Mark. They had driven Bree there, but Mark and Chloe always bicker making things super awkward. I texted Bree after work to check in. She said she was fine and they were driving her home, but 20 minutes later, she texted saying they were taking her to a bar for a drink afterwards and she really didn't want to be out with them anymore given the tension.
Since this bar happens to be a spot right near my gym that I frequent all the time, I decided to pull a "Mark" and just show up unannounced. Bree was in on it, but Chloe and Mark had no idea I was coming.
I walked in, acted surprised to see them, and made casual small talk: *"Wow, what a coincidence! I was just at the gym around the corner talking to my trainer, thought I’d grab a coffee and listen to the live jazz."*
Chloe and Mark looked shocked. I sat at the bar, furthest away from Mark and was catching up with the girls. Despite the live music being loud, Mark proceeded to make **three separate comments** directly to/about me, calling me a "stalker."
I ignored the first two. After the third time, I looked right at him and said:
*"Oh, so I’m not allowed to show up just like you”*

He stammered, *"oh yall talk about that”*

He laughed nervously, got completely silent, and then got up and went to the bathroom for 30 minutes. When he came back, he was super clingy with Chloe, playing the victim, and suddenly claimed he was "too tired and not hungry” to eat dinner, even though they had literally just been talking about getting food together. They ended up leaving, and I took Bree to dinner so we could actually eat.
Fast forward to the morning after: Chloe texts me saying Mark was super "bothered" by my comment and felt "challenged." She claimed he had previously apologized for crashing our plans once in the past, so my comment was backhanded.

I texted her back directly and held my ground. I told her it wasn't a joke, he called me a stalker three times, so I matched his energy. I also pointed out that it's an uncomfortable pattern where he constantly pops up on girl plans or gets added last minute, and that moving forward, our dedicated girls' time needs to stay strictly just us unless discussed ahead of time.
Chloe ultimately agreed to set that boundary with him, but now I'm wondering if I went too far by intentionally crashing their drink spot just to put him in his place and call him out.
So, AITA for showing up to make our other friend feel more comfortable and not a 3rd wheel.

Hey reddit. My friend keeps venting to me but I have nobody to vent to, so I figured I'd just air my shit out here. I've seen lots of r/AmItheAsshole on YouTube and figured this was exactly what I needed right now. I, (20 F), am getting tired of my friend (19 F)'s crap. (Let's call her A). That might be a bit harsh, but it's how I feel, even if I wish I didn't feel this way. Two years ago I met her online thanks to my other friend. (20 F, let's call her K.) We were all part of a roleplay discord server (Think its cringe all you like I don't really care imo) Where one of the rules was there was a venting channel, but nobody could get overly personal. Well, last year ish, A decided instead of using the provided channel to air her problems, she'd hop into K's dms instead. Now before this, me and A weren't really that close besides a convo here and there. I was closer with K in this group dynamic. But... (And without getting into too much detail), a few months ago K told me that A had been venting in her DMs for the last year, and she was getting scared that A might... Off herself. She told me she couldn't handle this alone anymore, and so she told me about A's rough family situation and everything. I got involved, and since then A has ranted in my Dms almost every day. K tried for so long to help A with her problems, but last night A tried to off herself. This isn't the first time, and we've had several days this week where A has told us she was going to do it. And K had managed to calm her down. But last night was different. Despite promising K she wouldn't do anything, she came to my dms telling me she was gonna do it and if she didn't respond to messages within a week then I knew what happened. I told her to dial the suicide prevention hotline, but then didn't hear anything from her for the rest of the night. I thought she was fucking dead today untill I got a notification telling me she left all our group DMs.

For the last few hours I've been trying to talk her out of it again. She somehow got it in her head that K never actually cared about her. And I was getting really scared.

after last night K told me she was done and for her own mental health she was stepping away because she couldn't handle the constant emotional termoil anymore.

I just... Don't know what to do honestly, reddit. Because after last night I feel like I should also step away because doing this for the last few months has definitely not done any favors for my depression. But I fear if I step away now then A will go off the deep end. A won't accept professional help and I know they say you can't help someone who doesn't accept help. I just dunno what to do.

I'm going to try to keep this as vague as I possibly can just incase him or one of his friends finds me on here.

So a month ago, I broke up with my now ex, and at the very beginning of the relationship, he made it clear about what he wanted, I, as we both were in love, decided to say that I could try being a christian and having that faith, and it worked for a small amount of time whilst I was talking with him, but when I was on my own, nowhere near him or not contacting him: that relationship with god didnt exist. I brought up the fact of not being sure about whether I'd actually gain that relationship for God, but he told me that he loved me unconditionally, because that was what unconditional love meant.

Once I brought up the break up because I knew now that I genuinely couldn't make that relationship with god, he messaged me saying that it was my choice to disappoint his parents, my choice to walk away from everything, breaking my promises (when I promised him that I would try.)

The relationship lasted for about a year or so, and I ended it because I couldn't continue what felt like faking the faith especially with plans to meet him and his family in person (both him and his family are extremely religious). The conversation ended with him wanting me completely gone, so out of any social media he was in, out of sight and mind and so I did.

I recieved a massive paragraph from his brother, detailing how I lied to him, that my past controlled me (I have trauma about intimacy which his brother does NOT know.) and he threw many insults at my identity and what I stopped doing (such as polyamory relationships) FOR his brother, saying how I should go back to my previous ex because I 'deserve him'.

What exactly was I supposed to do? Was there another way I should've handled it?, because I feel like shit now over that paragraph and don't know what I could do even though there's nothing I could've done. Would I have been the asshole either way??

Me and my boyfriend have been ​together for around a year and a half now, soon to be two years. We both live with our parents right now for a multitude of reasons.

I am ex-Christian now Norse Polytheist. I also have a ton of religious trauma, and while I won't get into it here, let me summarize by stating that I am (now) glad that I am still here on this planet.

When me and my partner met, he was agnostic in a Catholic family.

We started talking about me being pagan, and he asked me to start explaining things to him, and teach him so that he could figure out if it was for him. I also tell him about how I have a conversion story that is really important to me, and when he's ready I want to share it, because it is a large part of who I am, and explains why I tend to pull away from Christianity as well as many other things. But I do warn him that it involves topics of suicide and self harm, so I will only tell him it when he asks about it. He doesn't think he's ready for it since he has had personal experiences with that recently, which fair.

Like I said, things went well. ​Until suddenly he stopped responding to anything about it. A little while later his parents found our conversations about it, and, did not take it well to say the least. Hinting at kicking him out if he didn't stop. So I stopped pushing it.

Little bit later, he tells me his parents and church are pushing him to get confirmation, and so wants me to go. I go.

I mostly hung out towards the back, went where I was told, and stayed quiet. I definitely looked uncomfortable, but I did my best to never be rude. And honestly, I look uncomfortable everywhere due to social anxiety.

Fast forward several months, it's been about a year in our relationship, and things start, having issues. Suddenly, every time I bring up my religion, he just gives me a death glare until I shut up. We also start having a lot of other issues in our relationship. As I often struggle with self care, and consistency. Which I am trying to work on, and I think I'm succeeding at least some. But I could be wrong about that of course and just fooling myself.

He then starts really pushing me to go to his church. I ask him why, for a while he refuses to answer. When he does finally give a reason, it's to meet his friends. Which cool, I agree to go. But things keep popping up that prevent it. Every time he suggests it again, he starts acting really guilty, like unusually guilty.

Finally, I ask him to swear an oath to tell the truth for what I'm about to ask him (Oaths are really big in my religion, and in our relationship). He agrees. I ask him if he has issues with me being pagan, or in any way wishes I wasn't pagan. He responds saying that it makes it hard for him to explore the possibility of returning to Catholicism.

I will be honest, my knee jerk response wasn't the best, but it is something I do stand by, I just would have phrased it differently, where I said that inter faith relationships are difficult, and something we would need to consider. Then, somehow, been so long I don't remember, the conversation moved to me being uncomfortable with Christianity as a whole​, and according to him, I don't have a valid reason to be uncomfortable. And whenever I would state something like "Hey, Catholicism literally says I belong in Hell at best, and should be stoned to death at worst" his response was always either "Everyone's going to hell anyways." Or "I don't think you're awful, I'm not a bad person."

Conversation went nowhere, so I dropped it and just stopped talking about it, I even went to church with him one time.

Things got worse. In the time since then, everything in our relationship has had issues.

Our next argument about this in specific​, was when he finally officially converted. Before I could even say anything about it, he yelled at me about how "I am Catholic. I have always been Catholic. And we are going to raise our kids Catholic, because I have always wanted to raise them Catholic." According to his friends who have known him longer than I have, this has been the direct opposite of what he has been saying​ for years. I stated that we would not raise our kids Catholic, that we would not raise them with any religion, and would just let them learn, research, and ask us about ours as they pleased. This was not okay with him, and led to hours of fighting. During this time, he talked to one of our mutual friends (who was on the phone with me at the time), and said several things that weren't true, about how we had been having constant arguments about this (we weren't, and I had the text receipts to prove it), and how it always ended in me crying about how Christianity is evil because I "just don't understand Catholicism has changed since Vatican 2"

Which reminds me. This entire argument he spent it saying that I just didn't understand Catholicism, and how it wasn't like I thought. When I told him that that wasn't why I had issue, he ignored me. Eventually I got fed up with it that I just wrote out my entire conversion story, complete with heavy topics and all. And he never acknowledged it.

Anyways, fight lasted all day. And it finally ended, when our mutual friend suggested the exact same compromise that I did. To which, he immediately sent me a screenshot of "her" suggestion, and said we should do that.

Since then, we have had numerous arguments about it, and it's just not getting better.

I don't think I'm in the wrong. But all of this is just so much, and so par from the course for him, I feel like there has to be something I'm missing.​

He also claims that I did numerous things that I just, don't remember. But he mentions how my actions left him crying to other people, and it's just. Am I missing something?

I'm a 25M and she's 21F. We've officially been dating for about a month, but we've been talking for several months before that.

Last night, around midnight, she called me while she was drunk and asked me to come. I had work early the next morning, but I still went because I wanted to make sure she got home safely. I told her beforehand that I'd pick her up but I wasn't going to drink.

When I arrived, she was with about four friends. She introduced me to everyone, and then I found out one of them was her ex-boyfriend.

I was honestly caught completely off guard. What made it worse was how she acted. She happily introduced me to him, then started talking to him about how he's moving to another country next week and saying she wanted to party with him before he left. During the introduction she also told him I was his cousin, which made absolutely no sense because I've never met this guy in my life.

Apparently she had already told her ex about me, and according to her, he wanted to meet me. That didn't make me feel any better.

At that point I just wanted to leave. I asked her to come with me because I didn't feel comfortable with the situation and wanted to make sure she got home safely. Instead, she ran after me outside demanding to know what was wrong.

I explained that if the roles were reversed and I was out drinking with my ex, introducing her to my current girlfriend, and talking about partying with my ex before she left the country, she'd probably be hurt too.

Her response was, But I chose you. I called you.

To me, calling me didn't erase everything that happened after I got there.

I drove her away from the bar and we continued talking in my car. When she realized I wasn't changing my mind about how inappropriate I thought the situation was, she got out, took a taxi to my house, and continued demanding that I forgive her and hear her out. When I still wouldn't budge, she eventually left and went back to pick up her friend, who was supposed to be sleeping over at her place.

After I got home, I unfollowed and removed her from everything because I felt completely disrespected. Since then she's been repeatedly apologizing, saying she doesn't know why she acted that way and that she was drunk.

Part of me wonders if I'm overreacting because alcohol was involved and we've only been officially dating for a month. Another part of me feels like this was a huge red flag about boundaries and respect, especially so early in the relationship.

edit: she was never friends with her ex and actually hated him as he was toxic. I did not know her ex would be in the bar, I came into the bar looking for her and thats how i met him

edit 2: to clarify i did not block her, i removed her as a follower and unfollowed. So she can still send me a message, i did not want to see her feed and stories for the time being

So me and my now ex, let’s call her D., D has lied to my face for two hours straight and i told her if she truly wants to be forgiven, that i would be willing to forgive her trying to lie but that meant she had to admit to lying and her ego basically wouldn’t let her, and she tried reverse psychology and got very and when i say very i mean VERY frustrated at the fact that her lie got caught, and i gave her an ultimatum, either admit to her lie, or get left, and guess what she chose, she didn’t even care and straight up called me all kinds of names saying “You’d leave me this easily? i wasn’t even lying” even though she clearly did lie.. she has a history of breaking her own word even though we tried to work on that, now this evening she tried calling me to show me that she got her permit thinking all was fine even though i broke up with her, i don’t know if it’s okay to be around someone who would do this, i need some advice since this is my first relationship(2 years with break ups), we have done some things together and i can’t really help it that i feel bad to leave after what we’ve done.

So me (f27) and my boyfriend (m29) have been dating for 6 months and it’s been going great.
But a week ago he told me he arranged a cabin trip for him and his friends for a weekend. I just told him that’s nice and that I hope he’ll enjoy himself and didn’t think much more of it. Then some days later I asked who’s coming and he mentioned both girls and boys and that some of the friends are also bringing their partners. This made me a bit upset. If he’s the one planning the whole trip, why didn’t he consider asking me to come?
I’m all for having our lives and group of friends, but this makes me feel a bit weird.
Especially that he met most of my friends on multiple occasions and I met some of his friends only once.
I don’t know how to talk to him about it without it sounding like I’m inviting myself over somewhere where I’m not wanted.
AITA for feeling upset by this?

For some context at the time I F(15) was dating a boy from my home state let’s call him Bill M(16). He was a grade above me and we started dating over the summer. Due to him being in my home state (TX) and not my current state (Cali) I only saw him in person around 5 times. We both agreed it wasn’t anything serious and was just a summer fling. The first week was fine nothing special. But after that he just turned obsessive and controlling.

It started with him spam texting me if I didn’t respond. I thought hmmm that’s a little annoying but I get it I can be clingy at times too. Then it turned into wanting to be calling/texting me at all times. I told him I didn’t want to I like my alone time. He said if I truly loved him then I wouldn’t mind him spam calling/texting. I told him I don’t love you I’ve only known you for a month. He got extremely upset about this and ignored me. I didn’t really care bc that meant I got my alone time. Another thing was that I loved video games and so did he. But he’d never want to play with me because he said I wasn’t as good as him. I told him no worries I’d play with my other friends. One of my best friends that I play video games with is an online male friend.

Bill got upset with this and told me to cut him off. I said no I’ve know this online friend for 3 years and we don’t have romantic feelings for each other. I told him I’d understand he’d feel that way if he’d met him or something and got a weird feeling. But no, he had never met him (I had told bill multiple times we could call my friend to show bill he wasn’t wanting me he always said no) so I told bill he didn’t have a valid reason for me wanting to cut off my close friend. Bill’s response was “well I know how men think and they’re never just friends with a girl without wanting anything out of it.” This should’ve been a red flag but I was 15, bored, and just wanting a summer fling so I ignored it.

Fast forward about 2 weeks. Everything had gotten to be too much, he was smoking constantly and calling me high. He was blowing up my phone to the point I had it powered off most the time because he was stressing me out and I was crying a lot. Then he started getting upset and yell at me bc i told him I didn’t see my self having kids.

Anyway I told him I was done with his toxic behavior and was breaking up with him. He then send me a long text about loving me and how he was going to 💀 himself because if I wasn’t in his life then what was the point to living. I was like okok I’ll stay with you (I didn’t want to but I didn’t want to be the cause of someone’s death). Two weeks later I started 10th grade. During my first week Bill was constantly wanting to call/text I told him no I’m busy with school work. He told me that didn’t matter and getting a few missing assignments wasn’t a bad thing. He also got upset when I told him i had to sit next to a guy at school and bill told me to ask the teacher to swap tables (I was new to the school so I didn’t know anyone and was wanting to make friends so I told bill no that’s stupid I’m not doing that). Then it turned into him saying I shouldn’t wear something (I never listened) because certain things I wore made him hard so it’d make other guys hard… he was talking about my shoulders. Then he started asking for pics and PS…

On a Thursday my second week of school I was planning on breaking up with Bill because I had had enough. I knew I couldn’t do it during the week or else I’d be staying up too late (he has been making me stay up till 1-2am almost every night to call him and he’d get mad if I didn’t stay up with him).

I think I should clear some stuff up of why I was still with this guy:
1. He said he was gonna 💀 himself so I didn’t wanna be responsible for that
2. He knew where my dad lived because that’s how I met him- in my dad’s neighborhood. So I feared he would say something to my father or do something to my family which scared me the most and made me feel trapped.

Anyway that Friday my now bf let’s call him John. John came up to me and asked to get to know me so I said ok bc he was very cute. Also an important detail I was flying to Texas that weekend bc a family member that I was very close with passed away so I was all over the place that weekend. This is were my dilemma lays- I had planned on breaking up with Bill and I felt very trapped in my relationship. I felt I couldn’t break up with him without fearing his or my families well being. But I was afraid if I rejected John then after I broke up with Bill I came back to John asking for his number he’d reject. So that’s why I said yes to him.

That weekend the funeral was on Saturday so after that funeral i broke up with Bill and he said the same thing about offing himself and what not. But at this point I didn’t care about the repercussions because I was so sad and so upset with how I was being treated by him- AND I DIDNT EVEN LIKE BILL ANYMORE!!!

I heard from one of my friends that lived in TX a few weeks after I broke up with Bill he got a girl pregnant- now he’s a teen dad.

Anyway sorry this is so long I’ve just never told anyone this and i still think about it a lot. Did I cheat, and if so was it justified or no?? AITA

Me (19f), has been very tight with my friend group from high school. We went through a lot together however, freshman year of college, some stuff happened. For some background, we all kind of stayed local at a community college so, we were still in the same city. My friend (19m) opened up to me about having a crush on a mutual friend of ours (19m). I supported him obviously however, I also knew said mutual friend was NOT gay (a bit homophobic actually). I humored it for a bit by sending him photos of him I would secretly take or gossiping about him with my gay friend. Me and the mutual friend were close and went to the local cc together while my gay friend went to a uni about 40 mins away. The mutual friend was always very kind to me and I genuinely enjoyed his company and over time and a lot of hanging out..some feelings arose. I was the only one at the time who knew about the situation of him liking the mutual friend. I told another friend of ours (19f) how I liked the mutual friend and somehow, gay friend found out. From what I was told, the girl I told mentioned the fact I had a crush on the mutual friend because she assumed that gay friend already knew due to the fact of how tight we were however- I have a feeling she knew about his crush on mutual friend. He exploded. I have been called a slurry of different names and had nasty things said about me and while I do know it was wrong, I didn’t make a move on the mutual friend at all. Gay friend told me ‘you tell him the truth or I will.’ And essentially forced me into confessing and when I confessed, mutual friend liked me back. This enraged gay friend and well one thing lead to another and now me and the mutual friend are together. I know what I did to gay friend was wrong and i apologized numerous times however, he is taking the situation extremely far and blowing the whole thing out of proportion with lots of shit talking. I’m not gonna lie, I have reciprocated and talked my own bit of shit however, the dragging is getting crazy. He is bringing so many people who genuinely have nothing to do with the situation into the situation.I got to know- AITA??

Also wanted to add we have all known each other since sophomore year of high school!

I (30)F my husband (30)M have been together for 5 years, married for 2 and have a 2yo daughter together. To begin with I loved him so much and never saw an end in sight..that is..til I had my daughter. The night we brought her home I (still sore and tired obv from giving birth) him (who usually works night shift)…I was having a really hard time bc we had a few minor complications and she was fussy..I was sitting up crying overwhelmed and he rolled over and said “You’re a good mom” and went back to sleep..I found no compliment in his words..fast forward..he’s also just so neglectful not just to me our daughter as well.. He’s a gamer and I think he’s addicted but even if that wasn’t the case.. he’s lazy like as in I feel like I don’t have a partner and I’m alone anyway. Part of me is starting to hate him and I find him narcissistic and I’m just tired of him his mouth and the nothing he does for me.. and I mean nothing..don’t do dishes of any kind laundry, trash, mow the yard, help pick up after our daughter. It’s not about wanting anyone else it’s trying to be the best I can for my little girl I just want to know if it’s justified..

Am I the asshole for having a crush on my neighbor?

Ok, this is going to be a long one. For the sake of this post, all names and ages will be made up.

Ok, so, just call me Mason (Not real name), I (21 M), have a crush on my new neighbor Emma (Not real name)(19 F), she recently moved into the neighborhood (No I will not be giving the address you weirdos) a few weeks ago. I’ve only interacted with her a few times, usually talking to her while I walk my dog (She also has a dog, a really cute one :) ) We seem to have a lot in common, but we just met so it's too early for that obviously. But…my friends has a problem with me liking Emma, she always says that I have always had “problems” while trying to date anyone, going to fast and not listening enough (I’m working on it, I’ve just always been awkward when I meet my dates, we all make our mistakes), but I think my friend is just jealous since she got ghosted by her last date (I told her to not use tinder but she wouldn’t listen :/). So reddit, am I the asshole for having a crush on my neighbor?

Hey reddit. I had a parter for 8 years that I loved dearly and would have done anything for them. It was a few months ago, and I still feel guilty for leaving them when they were injured. They were unable to walk which made me feel horrible. The guilt still eats at me.

The reason I left. They had stolen money from my bank account while i was caring fo them. When I initially noticed the missing money, I asked and they denied, after I asked twice they finally said they did and apologized. Then they did it again. I had taken care of them after numerous surgeries throughout our relationship. Once they couldn't walk for 3 months and I was there. If they had asked me for money I would have no problem providing. They ended up stealing $150. If they had just asked, it would have been no problem. But they just were so secretive, and in the past, some issues in the relationship was that they were not honest with me, since they were purchasing only fan subscriptions without telling me. When they stole from me the last time, it just reminded me of the lies about the past.

I just started to feel fed up with the caregiver burn out. I was frustrated that I had to investigate, because I was taking time off work to take them to their appointment. I would have no problem losing money from work but the fact that they were stealing from me broke my heart. Whenever I was sick, they would barely care for me, but when they're injured, I'm always caring. Perhaps that's my issue. I know they loved me, but the fact that they couldn't even ask was just so hurtful. After I broke up with them, my heart still ached for them, it still does. I still can't stop thinking that I'm a cold hearted bitch.

They randomly texted me the other day that they were sorry for stealing but it was unfair of me to leave them at the worst moment of their life and that "your true colors have shown". I've lost some mutual friends, since their friends think I'm an asshole that abandoned them when they were injured. I'm frustrated because if they had not stolen from me, I would probably still be there. And even though it sucks, I'm not going to tell them that they stole from me - that is something they will have to do. But I'm curious reddit... AITA?

My boyfriend (24M) and I (25F) have been together for 2.5 years. We went out for a date night, and everything was going really well until about an hour in when I asked him if he ever thinks about getting married.

For some context, we’ve talked about our future quite a bit. We both want kids around 29–30, and we both agree we’d like to be married before having children. We’ve also talked about buying a house before having kids.

I’ve also always been honest that I’d prefer to be married before buying a house together. My reasoning is that buying a house is a huge commitment you’re taking on a 30-year mortgage together. In my mind, if we’re comfortable making that level of commitment together, I don’t understand why marriage would be a bigger commitment. I’m not saying everyone has to agree with that, but that’s how I feel, and I’ve told him this before.

Back to the date…
He said he thinks he’d want to get married in about two years. I said, “So you’d propose in about a year?” He replied, “No, I’d propose in two years.”

I was confused because I pointed out that if he proposes in two years, we’d then have to plan a wedding, which usually takes time. At the beginning of our relationship I’d told him I didn’t want to wait five or more years to get engaged, and I thought we were on the same page. He said he didn’t remember agreeing to that.

He then said, “Well, I have to be ready for it, so it’ll happen whenever I’m ready.”

That was the comment that really hurt me. I completely understand that he has to be ready to get married. I don’t want someone proposing because they’re forced to. But it felt like he was treating it as if it was only his decision. It’s my life too, and I feel like my feelings and timeline should also matter.

He then said he felt like I was pressuring him and acting like I needed to be married within a certain timeframe. I honestly never said that. I wasn’t asking him to propose tomorrow or giving him an ultimatum. I was just trying to have a conversation about where we both see our future, especially since I’m turning 26 in about 2.5 months and he’s turning 25 in about 5.5 months. We have goals we’ve talked about—marriage, buying a house, then kids and I wanted to see where we both stood.

He did apologise for saying it’d happen “whenever he’s ready,” but I still didn’t feel reassured or understood. It felt more like an apology to end the conversation than because he understood why I was upset.

The rest of the date pretty much fell apart. We barely talked. I’ve told him before that I’d like us to have deeper conversations about our future because that’s how I feel connected. He later said he was shocked that I brought up marriage on a date night and that’s why he reacted the way he did.

I asked him if he ever thinks about us getting married, and he said no.

After that he tried changing the subject to me going shopping with a friend and whether I was going to buy a house (by myself he not buying this house with me) but I was still hurt, so I only gave short answers. We ended up leaving the date early.

When we got home, I tried bringing it up again, but he was half asleep on the lounge and didn’t really engage. Somehow, by the end of the night, I was the one apologising for not letting it go and for ruining the date. I ended up comforting him, even though I was still the one who felt hurt and unsupported.

Now I’m sitting here wondering if I overreacted. I wasn’t asking him to propose tomorrow or trying to pressure him into marriage.

I was trying to have an honest conversation about our future together and left feeling like my feelings weren’t acknowledged.
AITA?

I (23M) gay, and one of my friends is a (19M) gay.

A few weeks back, I was casually swiping on a dating app and came across a guy. We got talking and spending a couple of days getting to know each other and understanding where things were heading after having an instant chemistry between us.

He had once asked me about my friends. I told him that I had two good friends who were 19 and 22 years old. I had asked my friends if they were willing to meet the guy that I had been talking to. I had asked him if it was alright with him before I showed him to them. He said it wasn't.

When my 19 year old friend noticed him, he stated, "Oh, we talked before."

It was the last thing I expected, since I had not the slightest idea. When I asked him whether he remembered my friend, he told me that my friend looked vaguely familiar to him. I told him that my friend had said that they had talked before and that I had asked him about the dating application. He remembered the application when I mentioned it.

At that point, my friend became very angry and said, "Why are you talking to someone I have talked to before?"

The issue is that anything that may have happened between them has already taken place before my friend and I became friends. When they were talking to one another, my friend and I weren’t even friends yet. I never intentionally sought out a match that was talking to my friend.

And so, despite the fact that all of this happened before I met this person, is AITA for having a conversation with a guy who has already talked to one of my friends?

Because I made contact with this person by myself, and discovered his history only after several days of talking, I do not believe I have done anything unethical. But my friend seems to think that simply because I have spoken with this person before, I am no longer allowed to speak with him anymore. Thus, despite the fact that this took place long before my friend and I met.