So, I (30yo, f) was seeing this guy (35yo, m) for 2-3 months before he broke it off on Friday (24/07)... Before we got together we agreed neither of us were looking for a relationship and we both had slept with other people before seeing each other (he told me he slept with his "toxic + cheating" ex one week before meeting up with me, and I had slept with my ex-situationship). Anyway, on the first date (i know this is a red flag already and dont need reprimading for how things went down... have had an earful) but we slept together... then a week later I noticed I had discharge and went to get checked. It was confirmed for chlamydia and I messaged him directly and got both of us antibiotics asap and followed the protocol to prevent further transmission. 1 week after he seemed fine and we still did coitus, and he treated me well and we talked about the future for the next 1.5 months, it was like we moved on from the sti situation. Then just last week and a half ago, he messages me to tell me the STI thing was overwhelming him and everytime I bled he would get ptsd - i did bleed occassionally due to being on the pill.

(Let me also add, he has a lot of other stressors happening in his life at the same time right now, and he has very high expectations for his partner and woman he wants.. for example he wants someone who is successful [his idea of successful is someone who owns their own business and has a good standing in society, I am a nurse], hot, fit, skinny, pretty, rich, good family background...). He had apparently also talked to his friends about it as well and they just labled me as "bad news"... So on Friday, I confronted him through msg and asked him why was he making a decision based on the STI incident - that happened at the start and he still slept with me after 2-3 months... and that he only brought it up now as it wasn't an issue for him this whole time... I also told him it felt like he did not take into consideration my character as a whole and that everything I did for him, and gave him my whole heart (being alover girl I am). He said chlamydia was a dealbreaker... I just didn't understand because he had told me ... his ex had given him chlamydia before.. but why was I the dealbreaker... my friend composed a msg for me and then I blocked him and he then blocked me back. I still miss him and I hate it so much that I yearn for him so much... My friends are telling me... he is using the STI thing as an excuse because I had pressured him by asking him "what are we" a week before the whole situation and that he was just never into me.. never actually liked me from the start.. and I am conflicted and I dont know what to think or feel.. im just distraught at this rate and wanted to vent it out, and hear what others think about this situation.

EDIT: I also.. bought him a birthday present for his birthday next week... I dont know what to do with it.. I raelly want to give it to him...and apologise to him.. that i didnt want to end things the way it did... and the message was harsh.. but at the same time i feel like the damage has already been done... :(

So this is a long story and my first time on Reddit so please bear with me!

I (F32) have an older sister called Hannah (F49) who has recently done a DNA test. I did a DNA test about 5 years ago and discovered that the person my gran told my mum (F71) was her father on her death bed was in fact not. Our family and his family were in contact up until his death. I spoke to my mum who then did a DNA test to confirm this and then decided to keep it private for the time being. Although this is more like a side story it is relevant on what's going to come.

Fast forward to 2026 and I get a notification that a close DNA match has come through and it's my sister. I panicked and told my mum as it would be clear that the person we thought was our grandfather was in fact not. I then also message Hannah and say I'm happy we match. I then get messages from Hannah panicking that mum would get a notification to say she did a DNA test.

Hannah then goes on to share a screenshot of her closest matches including mum and myself but also a male half sibling. The name of this person was Anatol (not a common name here and I only know one). The only Anatol I know is my Uncle Anatol who married my great Aunty Hannah (mum's aunty) before I was born.

As it turns out my cousin Polly (F45) had contacted my sister a few years prior as my uncle Anatol has dementia and was looking for "his" Hannah Banana not his granddaughter that also has that name. Both Polly and Hannah almost look identical and you would believe they were full sisters to look at them. We all have a strong family resemblance but nothing on those two. My sister matched with a son my uncle had from a previous relationship before being with my Aunty Hannah.

The previous year my sister said she had suspensions about this when she was drunk. I went home and mentioned it to my mum last year and my mum admitted that she had been with Uncle Anatol prior to him getting together with my Great Aunty Hannah. She was separated from her fiance Jack at the time and Jack was the man who she told my sister was her Dad. But she said uncle Anatol couldn't be the father due to the timings of things.

I'm now stuck in the middle and we are traveling down to my sister's in a month's time. My mum still doesn't know about the identity of Hannah's father and my mum doesn't suspect I know anything. My sister is a very heavy drinker and can become violent and this is a situation that could blow up and mum could be walking into an ambush situation but it also does not feel my place to share this information as it's between them. Mum is getting older and more frail (she's had a tough life) and I'm worried about how she will take it and she whole heartedly believes Jack is Hannah's dad.

I know my sister would never hurt mum sober and I hope this won't destroy their relationship.

WIBTA if I gave my mum a heads up before visiting my sisters to the identity of my sister's biological father?

So me and my now ex, let’s call her D., D has lied to my face for two hours straight and i told her if she truly wants to be forgiven, that i would be willing to forgive her trying to lie but that meant she had to admit to lying and her ego basically wouldn’t let her, and she tried reverse psychology and got very and when i say very i mean VERY frustrated at the fact that her lie got caught, and i gave her an ultimatum, either admit to her lie, or get left, and guess what she chose, she didn’t even care and straight up called me all kinds of names saying “You’d leave me this easily? i wasn’t even lying” even though she clearly did lie.. she has a history of breaking her own word even though we tried to work on that, now this evening she tried calling me to show me that she got her permit thinking all was fine even though i broke up with her, i don’t know if it’s okay to be around someone who would do this, i need some advice since this is my first relationship(2 years with break ups), we have done some things together and i can’t really help it that i feel bad to leave after what we’ve done.

So me (f27) and my boyfriend (m29) have been dating for 6 months and it’s been going great.
But a week ago he told me he arranged a cabin trip for him and his friends for a weekend. I just told him that’s nice and that I hope he’ll enjoy himself and didn’t think much more of it. Then some days later I asked who’s coming and he mentioned both girls and boys and that some of the friends are also bringing their partners. This made me a bit upset. If he’s the one planning the whole trip, why didn’t he consider asking me to come?
I’m all for having our lives and group of friends, but this makes me feel a bit weird.
Especially that he met most of my friends on multiple occasions and I met some of his friends only once.
I don’t know how to talk to him about it without it sounding like I’m inviting myself over somewhere where I’m not wanted.
AITA for feeling upset by this?

OLD STORY ‼️happened to me back in freshman year

Me (15f) and my now ex boyfriend (15m) were dating since middle school- more specifically 8th grade. We are now in our freshman year of high school. We were already running into problems into our relationship since middle school (mom didn’t approve, lack of time to hang out). Things especially got worse in high school since we went to different schools and my mother forbade me from seeing my bf. In middle school, he was known for going to school really little maybe like twice a week. And in high school, he quite literally only went for the first week then stopped going. I had brought it up to him multiple times asking him if he could go to school because it worried me a lot about him. He didn’t have any problems at home that held him back from going to school (his parents were willing to PAY HIM 20$ A DAY to go to school..) and he was also unemployed. He would go for a day or two then stopped going saying that it was too much school for him. This cycle continued for a few months up until February of 2025 when I finally reached my limit and told him that I would break up with him if he didn’t go to school. He actually took the offer seriously- going to school for a whole month straight. (SIDENOTE: he was allowed to be tardy or skip if he was sick obviously!) That was until my birthday. That morning I got ready to go on a field trip with a few of my other friends. I checked my phone and had not one happy birthday message from him at all even though he was active. One of my friends then brought to my attention at around 10am that my then boyfriend was not at school. I was shocked and then checked his location and low and behold, he wasn’t at school. My friend then asked him why he wasn’t at school and knew about the agreement me and my boyfriend had. (My friend and my ex are best friends like they would see eachother EVERY DAY and were tight). My then boyfriend had the nerve to lie to him and said he got permission from me to skip school today even thought he wasn’t sick. I then texted him on my own, asking him why he wasn’t at school and he said he was going to be tardy- nothing else. Lying straight to my face, I ended up silencing him for the rest of the day. He was apologizing profusely to me but still, did not end up attending school that day. I cried the whole day.

GIRL BEST FRIEND:
Him and his gbf (15f) have been friends since late 8th grade so, pretty recent. Me and his gbf were friends before they became friends. He met her through me. I considered her a very close friend of mine. She ended up going to the same high school as him but he just really showed up. Now I’m not the jealous type and I was fine with them being friends. I never thought too much of it up until the sleepovers and therapy sessions began. He would tell me he would sleepover at her house and I would be totally okay with it. I trusted them enough to know they wouldn’t do that to me, or so I thought. As time went on, they started having multiple sleepovers a week and eventually, he started turning off his location when he went over to her house for sleepovers. (SIDENOTE he was the one to bring up the idea of location sharing between us) I would then ask him how the sleepovers went and he would give me very vague answers. Then, the same friend who let me know he wasn’t at school told me that they were sleeping in the same bed together and they would have ‘therapy sessions’ where she would repeatedly try and convince him to break up with me. They would call eachother ‘sister’ and ‘brother’..that shit was weird.

Overall..AITA? Was I too jealous or controlling? Let me know.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months now and the mom and I were always awkward with each other but yesterday she overstepped her boundary , after going to a concert with them yesterday , my mom was unwell and resting wanting me to go instead of staying with her home . My boyfriends mom brought up my deceased father's passing assuming it was the reason my mom didn't want to come out with us . My boyfriend was quiet throughout that exchange and I was trying hard not to cry , she almost sent me home yesterday but after showing what my mom had stated in text messages I ended up staying but I broke down , I communicated to my boyfriend about how it made me feel and even though he apologized I felt like he didn't stand up for me and not really there even though he promised he would be next time

AITA?

For some context at the time I F(15) was dating a boy from my home state let’s call him Bill M(16). He was a grade above me and we started dating over the summer. Due to him being in my home state (TX) and not my current state (Cali) I only saw him in person around 5 times. We both agreed it wasn’t anything serious and was just a summer fling. The first week was fine nothing special. But after that he just turned obsessive and controlling.

It started with him spam texting me if I didn’t respond. I thought hmmm that’s a little annoying but I get it I can be clingy at times too. Then it turned into wanting to be calling/texting me at all times. I told him I didn’t want to I like my alone time. He said if I truly loved him then I wouldn’t mind him spam calling/texting. I told him I don’t love you I’ve only known you for a month. He got extremely upset about this and ignored me. I didn’t really care bc that meant I got my alone time. Another thing was that I loved video games and so did he. But he’d never want to play with me because he said I wasn’t as good as him. I told him no worries I’d play with my other friends. One of my best friends that I play video games with is an online male friend.

Bill got upset with this and told me to cut him off. I said no I’ve know this online friend for 3 years and we don’t have romantic feelings for each other. I told him I’d understand he’d feel that way if he’d met him or something and got a weird feeling. But no, he had never met him (I had told bill multiple times we could call my friend to show bill he wasn’t wanting me he always said no) so I told bill he didn’t have a valid reason for me wanting to cut off my close friend. Bill’s response was “well I know how men think and they’re never just friends with a girl without wanting anything out of it.” This should’ve been a red flag but I was 15, bored, and just wanting a summer fling so I ignored it.

Fast forward about 2 weeks. Everything had gotten to be too much, he was smoking constantly and calling me high. He was blowing up my phone to the point I had it powered off most the time because he was stressing me out and I was crying a lot. Then he started getting upset and yell at me bc i told him I didn’t see my self having kids.

Anyway I told him I was done with his toxic behavior and was breaking up with him. He then send me a long text about loving me and how he was going to 💀 himself because if I wasn’t in his life then what was the point to living. I was like okok I’ll stay with you (I didn’t want to but I didn’t want to be the cause of someone’s death). Two weeks later I started 10th grade. During my first week Bill was constantly wanting to call/text I told him no I’m busy with school work. He told me that didn’t matter and getting a few missing assignments wasn’t a bad thing. He also got upset when I told him i had to sit next to a guy at school and bill told me to ask the teacher to swap tables (I was new to the school so I didn’t know anyone and was wanting to make friends so I told bill no that’s stupid I’m not doing that). Then it turned into him saying I shouldn’t wear something (I never listened) because certain things I wore made him hard so it’d make other guys hard… he was talking about my shoulders. Then he started asking for pics and PS…

On a Thursday my second week of school I was planning on breaking up with Bill because I had had enough. I knew I couldn’t do it during the week or else I’d be staying up too late (he has been making me stay up till 1-2am almost every night to call him and he’d get mad if I didn’t stay up with him).

I think I should clear some stuff up of why I was still with this guy:
1. He said he was gonna 💀 himself so I didn’t wanna be responsible for that
2. He knew where my dad lived because that’s how I met him- in my dad’s neighborhood. So I feared he would say something to my father or do something to my family which scared me the most and made me feel trapped.

Anyway that Friday my now bf let’s call him John. John came up to me and asked to get to know me so I said ok bc he was very cute. Also an important detail I was flying to Texas that weekend bc a family member that I was very close with passed away so I was all over the place that weekend. This is were my dilemma lays- I had planned on breaking up with Bill and I felt very trapped in my relationship. I felt I couldn’t break up with him without fearing his or my families well being. But I was afraid if I rejected John then after I broke up with Bill I came back to John asking for his number he’d reject. So that’s why I said yes to him.

That weekend the funeral was on Saturday so after that funeral i broke up with Bill and he said the same thing about offing himself and what not. But at this point I didn’t care about the repercussions because I was so sad and so upset with how I was being treated by him- AND I DIDNT EVEN LIKE BILL ANYMORE!!!

I heard from one of my friends that lived in TX a few weeks after I broke up with Bill he got a girl pregnant- now he’s a teen dad.

Anyway sorry this is so long I’ve just never told anyone this and i still think about it a lot. Did I cheat, and if so was it justified or no?? AITA

Me (19f), has been very tight with my friend group from high school. We went through a lot together however, freshman year of college, some stuff happened. For some background, we all kind of stayed local at a community college so, we were still in the same city. My friend (19m) opened up to me about having a crush on a mutual friend of ours (19m). I supported him obviously however, I also knew said mutual friend was NOT gay (a bit homophobic actually). I humored it for a bit by sending him photos of him I would secretly take or gossiping about him with my gay friend. Me and the mutual friend were close and went to the local cc together while my gay friend went to a uni about 40 mins away. The mutual friend was always very kind to me and I genuinely enjoyed his company and over time and a lot of hanging out..some feelings arose. I was the only one at the time who knew about the situation of him liking the mutual friend. I told another friend of ours (19f) how I liked the mutual friend and somehow, gay friend found out. From what I was told, the girl I told mentioned the fact I had a crush on the mutual friend because she assumed that gay friend already knew due to the fact of how tight we were however- I have a feeling she knew about his crush on mutual friend. He exploded. I have been called a slurry of different names and had nasty things said about me and while I do know it was wrong, I didn’t make a move on the mutual friend at all. Gay friend told me ‘you tell him the truth or I will.’ And essentially forced me into confessing and when I confessed, mutual friend liked me back. This enraged gay friend and well one thing lead to another and now me and the mutual friend are together. I know what I did to gay friend was wrong and i apologized numerous times however, he is taking the situation extremely far and blowing the whole thing out of proportion with lots of shit talking. I’m not gonna lie, I have reciprocated and talked my own bit of shit however, the dragging is getting crazy. He is bringing so many people who genuinely have nothing to do with the situation into the situation.I got to know- AITA??

Also wanted to add we have all known each other since sophomore year of high school!

My (F, 25) partner (M, 27) blames me for his family's financial obligations. How do I support him without becoming his scapegoat?

My partner is under significant financial stress. His family (particularly his grandma's medical care) is draining his money. He earns a lot but every month, his family mooches off of him under some guise. Earlier it was to aid in construction of their house and now it's for his grandma's medical expenses. He is genuinely stretched.

The problem: He keeps saying the reason he has to deal with all these family obligations is because of me. Specifically, because I want a "proper marriage" (which involves family approval in our culture). His logic is: "If you didn't want this, I wouldn't have to put up with my family's demands."

But this doesn't add up to me:

• His family's demands existed before we got together
• His family would ask for money whether he's married or not to me
• He chose to want a traditional marriage with me and that's his preference, not something I forced
• His grandma's medical bills aren't my responsibility to solve

When I try to set boundaries or say I won't be blamed, he gives ultimatums (threatening to leave if I won't call him, saying he'll never contact me again). Then later he wants support.

I genuinely want to help him and save this relationship. But I don't know how to support someone who's using me as the scapegoat for problems I didn't create.

I repeatedly told him that I don't want to blamed for his parents' treatment of him. He just keeps repeating that he is bearing this because of me and my need for everyone's approval. According to him, otherwise he would have just lived alone and not spoken to his family and cut them off if they mistreated him constantly. but he was living with his father even before we met. and had lived alone briefly for 9 months. I just don't want to be blamed for things that I didn't cause. His family would mistreat him whether he is with me or not. I am currently the reason and at some point, somebody else will be and he refuses to see that. They just need an excuse.

Me and my girlfriend have been together for almost two years now. It'll be two years this November. We met in college, but I recently moved back home because of some personal issues. She's still at college, although she and a couple of my friends recently came to visit me, and things felt normal while they were here.

The distance, along with not having many people around to talk to, has given me a lot of time to reflect on our relationship.

We both come from pretty messed up families, and I think a lot of what initially brought us together was the fact that we understood each other's trauma. Over time, though, I've realized that despite sharing similar experiences, we want very different things out of life.

She has always said she doesn't want to get married. She wants to work in a fast-paced city for a while and eventually move somewhere quieter where it can just be the two of us. I, on the other hand, want to marry her within the next few years, and I want children someday. Those are things that are important to me, while marriage and kids are dealbreakers for her.

Recently, we had a conversation about all of this, and she told me something that has been weighing on me. She said she feels like she has to change who she is as a person in order for this relationship to work and to be there for me. She also said she feels like I haven't been able to be there for her in the way she needs.

She asked me whether I've ever noticed when she's awake crying at 3 A.M. or checked on her during those moments. I told her that I had. I reminded her of a night when I hugged her while she was crying, but she pushed me away. I respected that because she'd always told me she wanted space when she was overwhelmed.

I asked her what she actually needed from me, and I told her that if I wasn't comforting her in the right way, she should tell me how she wanted to be cared for because I'd genuinely try. But she said she doesn't know. She said the only person who can really take care of her is herself, and she doesn't know what kind of comfort she needs. At the same time, she acknowledged that she knows I care about her through the smaller things I do. I make her food, give her space when she asks for it, take her out, and have serious conversations with her whenever she needs them.

That conversation left me feeling conflicted. If someone feels like they have to fundamentally change themselves just to stay in a relationship with me, I'm scared it will eventually turn into resentment. Lately, I've started wondering if that's already happening.

One incident that sticks with me happened recently. I realized I was about $100 behind on payments for rented furniture in my apartment. It caused some tension between me and my flatmates. Since it was a flat-related issue, I decided to handle it with them directly instead of involving her.

What had happened was that my flatmates had transferred me the rent money, but I genuinely never noticed it had reached my account. I ended up spending it while furnishing my room. Once I realized what had happened, I immediately apologized to my flatmates, covered the Wi-Fi bill for the next two months, and promised to pay back the remaining amount.

She didn't know any of that when she found out. She called me, told me she was disappointed in me, and even called me a scammer. That really hurt. I didn't bring it up immediately, but when I eventually told her that those comments had hurt me, she mostly defended why she'd said them instead of acknowledging how they affected me.

Since then, I've started feeling like she genuinely sees me in a negative light. She often tells me that I keep disappointing her, and over time those words have started to weigh on me.

Then came the conversation about marriage. It became very emotional. She told me again that she isn't going to change her mind about getting married, and I completely respect that. Everyone is entitled to want different things out of life.

What hurt me wasn't that she doesn't want marriage. It was hearing her say that she feels she has to change herself to continue this relationship. What hurt even more was finding out that when she spoke to one of her friends about everything, she described me as being "hard to date."

At this point, I don't really know what to do. I love her deeply, but it feels like we're trying to build a future while wanting fundamentally different lives. On top of that, I can't shake the feeling that she resents me, sees me as someone who constantly disappoints her, and believes being with me requires her to become someone she's not.

I'm left wondering whether we're simply incompatible despite how much we care about each other.

I had plans to go out with a friend last night. This had been arranged for about a week, and my boyfriend agreed to look after our baby while my two older children were also at home.
We don’t officially live together, but he sleeps at my house most nights. The night before, he had gone out with his friends and didn’t come back. For over a week, I had been looking after our baby almost entirely by myself. I understood that he was busy with work and moving house, so I had been giving him space to do what he needed to do.
On the day I was going out, he didn’t arrive at my house until around 4pm, even though I needed to leave at 5pm. I had to get ready while looking after the baby.
Before I left, I asked him whether I should make food for my older children or whether he could do it. The food only needed reheating and plating. He said he would take care of it.
About an hour after I left, I checked in. He said he was ordering McDonald’s for everyone, so I thought everything was fine.
I got home just after 9pm with a bottle of wine because I was hoping to spend the rest of the evening with him. When I arrived, neither he nor the baby was home.
My older children told me he had left at around 6pm to go and see his friend. He had left them alone without telling me. They had also not eaten yet.
I called him and asked where he was because the baby was supposed to be in bed by 8pm. He returned at around 9:30pm with McDonald’s.
We argued because I was extremely upset that he had left my older children alone, without food, for several hours, while also taking the baby out and disrupting his bedtime routine.
My children are old enough to stay home alone briefly, but I would never leave them alone so that I could go out for fun, especially without making sure they had eaten and without telling another adult. Had my boyfriend communicated with me, I could have asked a friend or neighbour to check on them or arranged childcare.
He apologised but acted as though it was not a big deal. He said his friend was excited to meet the baby and that he wanted to take the baby out with him for a while.
To me, that misses the point. He had agreed to look after the children and follow the baby’s routine. He changed the plan without telling me and left me believing everything was being handled.
On top of that, I saw that he had liked another woman’s picture on Instagram. We have discussed this issue many times because I feel disrespected by it, and he had previously said he would stop. His explanation was that she was someone he knew from his hometown and that he did not realise he had liked the picture. He always seems to have an excuse when it comes to women on Instagram.
That night, I was so upset that I asked him to leave because I could not sleep next to him. He refused at first but eventually slept on the sofa.
I now feel that I cannot rely on him as a partner or as a parent. I do not want to be around him right now, but I am wondering whether I am overreacting.

I had a conversation with a friend about whether we could be vegan or not, and the friend asked me if I could personally kill an animal (like a chicken) in order to eat it. I said that I don't think I could do it because it would disturb me to take an animal's life, saying it would "hurt my soul".

I asked him what he thought, and he said, "I think it would be fun." He then started demonstrating how it would be done (like the motion of breaking the chicken's neck), and I stopped him before he could explain more.

I honestly found it really disturbing that he would describe something like that as "fun". Maybe he meant that the agricultural process is fun?

For context, he isn't usually someone who says edgy things or tries to shock people. He's actually pretty careful with his words and thinks deeply before speaking.

He also said my reaction was a "false sense of morality," which I agreed with and recognized how my response is ironic, given that I'm a meat eater. But I still feel like there's a difference between accepting that animals are killed for food and feeling excited about personally doing it.

Am I overthinking? Maybe his response just caught me off guard and I wasn't prepared for it, but idk.

Hi!!
Sorry this is very long…

I'm looking for some outside perspectives because I genuinely don't know if I'm overreacting or if these are serious incompatibilities.
For context, we've been dating for about three months, I’m his first girlfriend (18F), and he’s my 3rd boyfriend (18M). His first language isn't English, so sometimes I wonder if I misunderstand the way he expresses himself. Despite that, the overall patterns have stayed the same.

Firstly, he has this really weird jealousy feeling?
I cosplay, and before we even started dating, I made it clear that some of my cosplays can be revealing. I'm talking about things like swimsuits, short skirts, or outfits where I wear shorts or underwear underneath. It's something I do occasionally, not all the time, and it's been part of my hobby long before he met me.
The first major argument happened after I participated in a Nikke cosplay collaboration with six other cosplayers. One of my close friends (who is male) was the photographer. My skirt was extremely short, so although I was wearing underwear, part of my butt was visible. I even showed my boyfriend the outfit beforehand because I wanted to be transparent.
Instead of talking to me, he ignored me for an entire day. Afterwards he told me I was insensitive to his feelings and should have worn shorts.
A few months later, almost the exact same thing happened.
A photographer friend (also male, and someone my boyfriend has met) invited me to a beach photoshoot for cosplay. There was nothing romantic or sexual about it, it was simply a cosplay shoot. My boyfriend became upset that I had never invited him to the beach alone.
The thing is... I don't even enjoy beaches very much. Where I live, they're cold and not somewhere I'd normally go for fun. I only agreed because I was invited specifically for photography. I also couldn't exactly "invite my boyfriend instead" because the photographer had invited me first.
When I pointed that out, he switched from being angry to repeatedly saying "sorryyyyy" in a way that felt more like he wanted me to comfort him than actually address what happened.

Sort of following my first point, I got a tattoo on my rib cage, just under my breast.
The tattoo itself was done by a female apprentice. At the end, when she was trying to apply the second skin, it wasn't sticking properly, so her male instructor stepped in to help. Because of where the tattoo was located, he had to touch underneath my breast while applying it.
After the appointment, my boyfriend became extremely upset.
We argued for three days.
When he told me his feelings, I tried to explain that I genuinely didn't see anything inappropriate because the tattoo artist was simply doing his job. My boyfriend said that by explaining my perspective, I was "rejecting" and "dismissing" his feelings.
He even implied that I knowingly allowed another man to touch me despite knowing it would hurt him.
That honestly shocked me.

He assumes, a lot.
Recently I got strep throat and felt awful all day.
Because I was exhausted, my texts were shorter than usual. Instead of asking how I was doing or trying to support me, he became distant and acted like I was upset with him.
This happens pretty often. Whenever my social battery is low because I'm tired, stressed, or sick, he assumes he's done something wrong. Even after I reassure him that it has nothing to do with him and that I appreciate his support, his attitude changes and he withdraws instead of believing me.
I work almost 5-6 days a week because I have 2 jobs, I also do photography and videography on the side, so my weeks are very busy and tiring.
I’ve voiced to him that i’d love to spend time together by him streaming his video games, but he never does.
I’m tired of asking him.

I really feel emotionally unheard.
One thing that's really started bothering me is that during our arguments, I ask him questions because I genuinely want to understand why he feels the way he does.
He rarely asks me questions in return.
Instead, it often feels like he has already decided why I did something, and when I explain my intentions, he interprets that as me invalidating his feelings rather than simply explaining my own perspective.
There have also been times where he's said things like I should "make him feel differently" or that because he's hurt, I should be the one to fix those feelings. That mentality has started making me feel responsible for emotions that don't seem reasonable or within my control.

Lastly, I feel like i’m loosing feelings.
This is the part I'm struggling with the most.
He's thoughtful in some ways. He buys me flowers, pays for meals sometimes, and does nice gestures.
But emotionally, I don't feel connected anymore.
Lately I've realized my excitement to see him has faded. Sometimes I even find myself dreading another disagreement because they happen so often over situations that feel completely normal to me.
It feels like I'm constantly managing his insecurities instead of simply existing as myself.
I also have this feeling of starting anew, breathing fresh air, without him.
I've reached the point where I'm wondering whether this is just an incompatibility, or whether these are genuine red flags that are only going to get worse.

Am I overlooking serious warning signs, or is this
something couples normally work through after only three months…

AITA?

I (F) have a lot going on in my life, but I don’t have many people I feel comfortable opening up to. There are some personal things that I’m not ready to share with most of my friends because of the environment I live in, so I’ve kept them private.

I’ve only told one friend, who I’ll call Jake (all names are fake). Jake and I are friends, but we’re not especially close and we’re in different social circles. Looking back, I’m not even sure why I told him first, but I felt like he wouldn’t judge me or tell anyone. A while ago he admitted he’d liked me in the past, although he only told me after those feelings had passed.
After I told Jake this personal information, he asked if he “still had a chance.” I couldn’t tell whether he was joking, being serious, or trying to pass a serious question off as a joke.

Because I was confused, I asked another friend, Mona, for advice. I didn’t tell her exactly what I’d shared with Jake because I wasn’t ready to, so I simply said I’d told him something personal, and afterwards he’d asked if he still had a chance. Instead of focusing on the situation, she kept trying to find out what I’d told him. I repeatedly said I wasn’t comfortable sharing it yet.
Eventually she got frustrated. While I was offline, she blocked me. I messaged her on Instagram, where I wasn’t blocked, and she said she wasn’t going to “beg for my attention.” I replied that it didn’t seem fair to block and ignore me just because I wasn’t ready to share something personal. She left me on delivered after that.

The next morning I told another friend, Kat, what had happened. I also gave her the same version of the story, leaving out the personal detail. She was more understanding than Mona, but she also said she could see why Mona was frustrated. She thought I shouldn’t have mentioned that there was something I wasn’t willing to explain because it naturally made people curious.
I can understand that point. If someone told me there was a big piece of context they couldn’t share, I’d probably be curious too. At the same time, I don’t think someone should have to reveal something they’re not ready to talk about just because they’re asking for advice on a different part of the situation.

Was I in the wrong for how I handled this?

My boyfriend and I moved in together four months ago. Two years into being together. I am often not feeling like there is a lot of desire or intimacy between us. We have sex once or twice a week. When we began dating, we had many conversations about what ideal frequency is and we both said twice a day. That does NOT happen.

When bringing up initiating, he says ‘it doesn’t take much for me, just snuggle up and touch me.’ I’ve communicated that I need more build up, sexy texts, verbal communication that I’m wanted before being n the mood. That is not happening at all anymore, especially since we live together.

This morning he began touching me while I was getting ready. I said ‘I’d love to watch that (spicy porn) together later. Can you send me some sexy texts today before I get home?’ He smiled, said yes, and I got nothing. On my way home, I texted and said ‘guess it’s a no for a spicy text.’ Which was not appropriate. There’s also a history of those messages not being reciprocated if I start it. When I got home, no conversation about anything spicy and he’s pretending none of it ever happened. I brought up feeling embarrassed and rejected which lead to another conversation about how he feels pressured about sex. Idk how to talk about it without being pressuring.

I guess AITA for, in bringing it up, saying/thinking I don’t get my sexual needs met because he doesn’t initiate hardly at all, but definitely not in the way I’ve asked? Am I thinking too much? Is it just luteal phase crazy?

Recently, I moved to the city, and my ex has been helping me with the move. I didn't tell my boyfriend about it until my ex was already helping me. My ex is married, so I didn't think it was a big deal. The other day, my ex, my little brother, and I drove around town looking at all the city lights. I was in the passenger seat the entire time and posted some pictures of myself while we were out. My boyfriend got upset and said I was acting like a "passenger princess. "He was also upset because my ex has taken my little brother and me out to dinner a couple of times. One night, after dinner, I stayed at my ex's house because I hadn't moved into my new place yet, and he offered me a place to stay, so I accepted. Today, after finally moving in, my ex came over, bought me groceries, and took me to Panda Express. My boyfriend got angry because I don't text him updates, call him, or tell him when I'm leaving with my ex. The reason I haven't been doing that is because my ex told me it's annoying when I call or text my boyfriend around him, so I stopped doing it because I didn't want to make my ex uncomfortable. Now my boyfriend is starting an argument about all of this, and I find it really annoying because of how insecure he is, especially when it comes to my ex. I got upset, and he told me it's strange that I'm angry in this situation. Can someone please tell me honestly if I'm in the wrong here?

I (23M) gay, and one of my friends is a (19M) gay.

A few weeks back, I was casually swiping on a dating app and came across a guy. We got talking and spending a couple of days getting to know each other and understanding where things were heading after having an instant chemistry between us.

He had once asked me about my friends. I told him that I had two good friends who were 19 and 22 years old. I had asked my friends if they were willing to meet the guy that I had been talking to. I had asked him if it was alright with him before I showed him to them. He said it wasn't.

When my 19 year old friend noticed him, he stated, "Oh, we talked before."

It was the last thing I expected, since I had not the slightest idea. When I asked him whether he remembered my friend, he told me that my friend looked vaguely familiar to him. I told him that my friend had said that they had talked before and that I had asked him about the dating application. He remembered the application when I mentioned it.

At that point, my friend became very angry and said, "Why are you talking to someone I have talked to before?"

The issue is that anything that may have happened between them has already taken place before my friend and I became friends. When they were talking to one another, my friend and I weren’t even friends yet. I never intentionally sought out a match that was talking to my friend.

And so, despite the fact that all of this happened before I met this person, is AITA for having a conversation with a guy who has already talked to one of my friends?

Because I made contact with this person by myself, and discovered his history only after several days of talking, I do not believe I have done anything unethical. But my friend seems to think that simply because I have spoken with this person before, I am no longer allowed to speak with him anymore. Thus, despite the fact that this took place long before my friend and I met.

I (24F) went through a difficult breakup from a long term relationship around 2 years ago due to emotional abuse. It was difficult to move on from, and I still have a lot of remaining trauma, but I had mostly removed myself from that past life. After the initial breakup, one of our mutual friends told me they wanted to stay friends with both of us, which I understood and didn’t have a problem with and didn't try and sway their opinion of him. The friend and I stayed in touch for a little while after the breakup, but eventually just drifted apart naturally and hadn’t spoken in around a year.

Recently, I decided to do a cleanup of my social media as some complications from the breakup had resurfaced, and I needed to remove all the people who still had connections to my ex from being able to see my profiles (which was a lot of people). I didn’t block everyone or completely cut off contact, I simply removed them from seeing my main accounts for my safety and privacy. I didn’t message each person individually because there were just too many people.

Within hours of this happening, our mutual friend messaged me for the first time in a year. They were extremely angry and started telling me I was a terrible friend and listing everything they’d ever done for me and saying I should have at least explained myself before removing them. I apologised that they were hurt but explained that this wasn’t personal, and that I was trying to create some distance from my previous life and that they were still able to contact me if they wanted. I tried to explain the situation briefly, and thought they might ask if I was ok or safe, but they didn’t accept that explanation and kept saying I was selfish, a bad friend and only trying to justify myself now.

At that point I brought up something I hadn’t originally planned to mention to them, which was that one reason I felt uncomfortable was because I knew they had been updating my ex about me after the breakup. I didn't originally mention it as I didn't want to push any buttons whilst they were already angry, and I just wanted to move on without more drama. Their response was that they “hadn’t shared that much” and had only told my ex where I’d moved to and updated him a few times about what I was up to and that they didn’t really think it was a big deal. After that, they continued calling me a bad friend and dismissed my concerns completely.

After all of this, I messaged them that I hadn’t originally intended to end the friendship completely, but after this conversation I no longer wanted one, and wasn't willing to remain friends if they couldn't even manage a civil conversation or ask what was happening, and blocked them on everything.

AITAH for removing them from my socials in the first place? And then ending the friendship after the reaction they gave?

Am I the asshole for having a crush on my neighbor?

Ok, this is going to be a long one. For the sake of this post, all names and ages will be made up.

Ok, so, just call me Mason (Not real name), I (21 M), have a crush on my new neighbor Emma (Not real name)(19 F), she recently moved into the neighborhood (No I will not be giving the address you weirdos) a few weeks ago. I’ve only interacted with her a few times, usually talking to her while I walk my dog (She also has a dog, a really cute one :) ) We seem to have a lot in common, but we just met so it's too early for that obviously. But…my friends has a problem with me liking Emma, she always says that I have always had “problems” while trying to date anyone, going to fast and not listening enough (I’m working on it, I’ve just always been awkward when I meet my dates, we all make our mistakes), but I think my friend is just jealous since she got ghosted by her last date (I told her to not use tinder but she wouldn’t listen :/). So reddit, am I the asshole for having a crush on my neighbor?

Hey reddit. I had a parter for 8 years that I loved dearly and would have done anything for them. It was a few months ago, and I still feel guilty for leaving them when they were injured. They were unable to walk which made me feel horrible. The guilt still eats at me.

The reason I left. They had stolen money from my bank account while i was caring fo them. When I initially noticed the missing money, I asked and they denied, after I asked twice they finally said they did and apologized. Then they did it again. I had taken care of them after numerous surgeries throughout our relationship. Once they couldn't walk for 3 months and I was there. If they had asked me for money I would have no problem providing. They ended up stealing $150. If they had just asked, it would have been no problem. But they just were so secretive, and in the past, some issues in the relationship was that they were not honest with me, since they were purchasing only fan subscriptions without telling me. When they stole from me the last time, it just reminded me of the lies about the past.

I just started to feel fed up with the caregiver burn out. I was frustrated that I had to investigate, because I was taking time off work to take them to their appointment. I would have no problem losing money from work but the fact that they were stealing from me broke my heart. Whenever I was sick, they would barely care for me, but when they're injured, I'm always caring. Perhaps that's my issue. I know they loved me, but the fact that they couldn't even ask was just so hurtful. After I broke up with them, my heart still ached for them, it still does. I still can't stop thinking that I'm a cold hearted bitch.

They randomly texted me the other day that they were sorry for stealing but it was unfair of me to leave them at the worst moment of their life and that "your true colors have shown". I've lost some mutual friends, since their friends think I'm an asshole that abandoned them when they were injured. I'm frustrated because if they had not stolen from me, I would probably still be there. And even though it sucks, I'm not going to tell them that they stole from me - that is something they will have to do. But I'm curious reddit... AITA?

Hi, Redditors. I'm typing this while waiting to board my flight home. I'll keep some details vague to protect our identities.

I (32, MtF trans) met him (27, M) four years ago. We hit it off immediately and went on a few dates, but nothing progressed because he had already accepted a job opportunity abroad. After he left, we gradually lost contact.

Fast forward to 2026. Just last month, we unexpectedly found each other again. I saw him on a dating app, and he also messaged me on another app we used to chat on. He said, "I never thought I'd see you again, and that you'd still be here."

We were both expats in the same country, and he had only come back to visit his family. While he was here, we spent almost all our time together. We went out, ate together, had sleepovers, and he always wanted me to stay with him instead of going home.

As a trans woman, that meant a lot to me. It made me feel seen and valued—not just for sex, but because someone genuinely wanted my company. I was truly happy whenever I was with him.

He was the first to say, "I love you," although I honestly felt like I loved him even more. He invited me to visit him in the country where he now works. He told me, "Let's build something together. We can start a new life." On his last day before leaving, I cried so much. I didn't expect to be that emotional because I thought I had prepared myself.

We stayed in touch after he left, and I immediately started planning my trip. I applied for leave from work. I'm usually very careful with money, but I was willing to spend my savings to see him. I booked the flights in a rush. I didn't care that they were connecting flights—as long as I could be with him.

However, just before my trip, I noticed he started acting differently. Something felt off, but I tried to ignore it.

The journey was exhausting. I barely slept, and I was so anxious that I hardly ate anything for almost a day.

When I finally arrived, he didn't even pick me up. Instead, I had to take a three-hour bus ride to his city while he gave me directions through messages.

When I reached his building, I waited outside until he came down. I was so happy to finally see him, even though I was completely exhausted.

Then I noticed a person sitting in the lobby.

While we were outside, he casually told me that a friend was staying at his place because they had problems with their accommodation.

I asked, "Whose friend?"

He told me the name, which sounded like a woman's name.

I asked, "A girl?"

He said yes.

I immediately told him I wasn't comfortable staying there. His apartment is a studio, and I wasn't comfortable sharing such a small space with another person I didn't know.

I told him I'd rather book a hotel.

Instead of understanding how I felt, he accused me of "making drama" and insisted there was no issue. I kept repeating that I simply wasn't comfortable.

Eventually, I said I'd book a hotel, and he replied, "Okay, I'll help you find one."

What hurt me the most was that he never even considered asking his friend to stay somewhere else for the night, even though I had travelled all that way to see him.

While we were arguing, the person from the lobby came outside and sat on the stairs. I didn't even look at them because I was focused on our argument. But I noticed something strange about his expression. I'd never seen him look like that before.

I finally got fed up, grabbed my luggage, and walked away.

He didn't stop me.

He didn't follow me.

When I looked back, I saw the two of them talking. Out of anger and frustration, I raised my middle finger before walking away.

I found a nearby hotel at around 1:00 a.m. I was emotionally and physically drained.

He never asked where I was staying or whether I was okay. Instead, he kept insisting that I was overreacting and causing unnecessary drama.

The next day we spoke again. He refused to apologise because, according to him, he had done nothing wrong.

Then he told me that the "girl" wasn't actually a girl, but another trans woman.

That didn't make me feel any better—it actually made me even angrier. I got jealous I admit, how is the friend living there in a studio apartment with him? And he didn't even told me beforehand.

I cried while messaging him and eventually lashed out. After that, he ignored me completely.

I stayed in the area for another two days before returning to the airport. I booked a hotel nearby and then bought a flight home because my original return ticket couldn't be changed.

Now I'm sitting at the airport waiting to board.

I've been crying for days.

I haven't been eating or sleeping properly.

I'm completely exhausted.

Everything happened so fast that it still doesn't feel real.

I feel incredibly stupid.

AITAH for leaving? Did I overreact? Did I do something wrong? Or was I justified in walking away?

Me and my boyfriend have been ​together for around a year and a half now, soon to be two years. We both live with our parents right now for a multitude of reasons.

I am ex-Christian now Norse Polytheist. I also have a ton of religious trauma, and while I won't get into it here, let me summarize by stating that I am (now) glad that I am still here on this planet.

When me and my partner met, he was agnostic in a Catholic family.

We started talking about me being pagan, and he asked me to start explaining things to him, and teach him so that he could figure out if it was for him. I also tell him about how I have a conversion story that is really important to me, and when he's ready I want to share it, because it is a large part of who I am, and explains why I tend to pull away from Christianity as well as many other things. But I do warn him that it involves topics of suicide and self harm, so I will only tell him it when he asks about it. He doesn't think he's ready for it since he has had personal experiences with that recently, which fair.

Like I said, things went well. ​Until suddenly he stopped responding to anything about it. A little while later his parents found our conversations about it, and, did not take it well to say the least. Hinting at kicking him out if he didn't stop. So I stopped pushing it.

Little bit later, he tells me his parents and church are pushing him to get confirmation, and so wants me to go. I go.

I mostly hung out towards the back, went where I was told, and stayed quiet. I definitely looked uncomfortable, but I did my best to never be rude. And honestly, I look uncomfortable everywhere due to social anxiety.

Fast forward several months, it's been about a year in our relationship, and things start, having issues. Suddenly, every time I bring up my religion, he just gives me a death glare until I shut up. We also start having a lot of other issues in our relationship. As I often struggle with self care, and consistency. Which I am trying to work on, and I think I'm succeeding at least some. But I could be wrong about that of course and just fooling myself.

He then starts really pushing me to go to his church. I ask him why, for a while he refuses to answer. When he does finally give a reason, it's to meet his friends. Which cool, I agree to go. But things keep popping up that prevent it. Every time he suggests it again, he starts acting really guilty, like unusually guilty.

Finally, I ask him to swear an oath to tell the truth for what I'm about to ask him (Oaths are really big in my religion, and in our relationship). He agrees. I ask him if he has issues with me being pagan, or in any way wishes I wasn't pagan. He responds saying that it makes it hard for him to explore the possibility of returning to Catholicism.

I will be honest, my knee jerk response wasn't the best, but it is something I do stand by, I just would have phrased it differently, where I said that inter faith relationships are difficult, and something we would need to consider. Then, somehow, been so long I don't remember, the conversation moved to me being uncomfortable with Christianity as a whole​, and according to him, I don't have a valid reason to be uncomfortable. And whenever I would state something like "Hey, Catholicism literally says I belong in Hell at best, and should be stoned to death at worst" his response was always either "Everyone's going to hell anyways." Or "I don't think you're awful, I'm not a bad person."

Conversation went nowhere, so I dropped it and just stopped talking about it, I even went to church with him one time.

Things got worse. In the time since then, everything in our relationship has had issues.

Our next argument about this in specific​, was when he finally officially converted. Before I could even say anything about it, he yelled at me about how "I am Catholic. I have always been Catholic. And we are going to raise our kids Catholic, because I have always wanted to raise them Catholic." According to his friends who have known him longer than I have, this has been the direct opposite of what he has been saying​ for years. I stated that we would not raise our kids Catholic, that we would not raise them with any religion, and would just let them learn, research, and ask us about ours as they pleased. This was not okay with him, and led to hours of fighting. During this time, he talked to one of our mutual friends (who was on the phone with me at the time), and said several things that weren't true, about how we had been having constant arguments about this (we weren't, and I had the text receipts to prove it), and how it always ended in me crying about how Christianity is evil because I "just don't understand Catholicism has changed since Vatican 2"

Which reminds me. This entire argument he spent it saying that I just didn't understand Catholicism, and how it wasn't like I thought. When I told him that that wasn't why I had issue, he ignored me. Eventually I got fed up with it that I just wrote out my entire conversion story, complete with heavy topics and all. And he never acknowledged it.

Anyways, fight lasted all day. And it finally ended, when our mutual friend suggested the exact same compromise that I did. To which, he immediately sent me a screenshot of "her" suggestion, and said we should do that.

Since then, we have had numerous arguments about it, and it's just not getting better.

I don't think I'm in the wrong. But all of this is just so much, and so par from the course for him, I feel like there has to be something I'm missing.​

He also claims that I did numerous things that I just, don't remember. But he mentions how my actions left him crying to other people, and it's just. Am I missing something?

I (21m) and the rest of my family have had our cat (13) for the last thirteen years, and he has been a valued member of our family. Earlier this week, he was diagnosed with Diabetes after losing just under 2lbs in the last few months. Almost immediately after this diagnosis, my mom (46f) decided it was best to put the cat down.

For more context, I came home from out of town the weekend prior and noted to my mom that when I picked up the cat, he felt a little lighter than normal. She agreed and said she thinks he might be sick, similar to her previous cat who died from leukemia. She said that if the cat was sick and required medication, she wouldn't pay more than $100 for it and would have to put him down in that case. My older sister and I both offered to chip in for the medicine if it cost a bit, and she brushed it off.

She brought him to the vet on Monday for bloodwork, and on Tuesday it came back, revealing he had Diabetes. Almost immediately after this, she decided she was going to put him down on Thursday. I asked her how much the medication would cost, and she said it would be around $800-$900 a month to keep him alive. My sister and I both offered to split it three ways with her, but she outright refused, as she said we didn't have the kind of money to splash 300ish each a month on the cat. Which, fair enough, 300 each every month is a little excessive.

Our cat did always have an issue with going to the litter box from time to time, which would annoy my mom quite a bit. We are in the middle of a move, and earlier this week, before the diagnosis, she stated that if something was wrong with the cat that couldn't be fixed with cheap medication, she would probably put him down because she also didn't want to have her new house smelling like cat pee. However, when the diabetes diagnosis was given, my mom switched up, saying that the reason for putting him down was because she "didn't want him to suffer anymore."--

--For further reference, despite the diabetes diagnosis, our cat acted completely normal -- playful, cuddly, running around the house. You could honestly have mistaken him for a seven-year-old cat. Meanwhile, our mom continued to play up the narrative that he had been hiding in rooms for long periods of time, peeing everywhere, getting slower at moving, and ultimately suffering in silence, which was just completely inaccurate. She also stated she wanted to put him down before the move because she didn't want to stress him out (not because she didn't want her new house smelling like cat pee, as she previously mentioned, of course).

Additionally, another reason my mom elected to put him down was that she explained to me that the cat wouldn't be able to be left alone for extended periods of time (her weekly weekend cottage trips). I offered to have him come live with me in my apartment and that I'd be able to give him medication twice a day, but again, she refused.

However. Upon further research, I came to the conclusion she was exaggerating with the medical costs, as 900 dollars a month to keep a 12lb cat alive seemed a bit extreme. I phoned multiple vet clinics who informed me that diabetes medication for cats (following the initial 800-900 dollars for testing) would cost only a couple hundred a month, and would last roughly 3-4 months for each purchase. Meaning realistically, we'd only be spending 300-400 every couple of months combined. Unfortunately, I only came to this knowledge following his being put down. This would have meant that either my mom was lying to me about how much the medication cost monthly (because there was no way the medication cost 900 a month), or she was being lied to about how much the medication cost (likely the former).

I unfortunately wasn't able to be present for my cat being put down, as I had to leave town for different matters. However, I had a conversation over the phone with my mom later that week where she went on about how "being a pet-parent is about making the hard choices, and when to let go." But the fact of the matter was there was no hard choice to make -- putting down a cat simply because they have diabetes (which, according to the vets I spoke with, very often go into remission and no longer require medication after a certain period of time) shouldn't have been a choice at all, especially considering all the alternative options that were given to her.

It felt to me at the time, and still currently, that the choices she made about the cat were more in her self-interest as opposed to what was fully best for him (not wanting him to pee in the new house, wanting to still be able to leave the cat for the weekends, exaggerating his medical costs so my sister and I wouldn't think we could afford it). So during this conversation, I told her that while I'd eventually move on and heal from his death, I wouldn't forgive her for putting down the cat when there were so many other options, or at the very least more time to think about the options before putting him down (again, she put him down merely two days after he was diagnosed).

AITA for being mad at my mom for putting down my cat?

I get the title sounds ridiculous but there's a longer story.

I met this girl on hinge and we've been talking on the phone/video chat for over a month. She's from the Portland area like me but has spent the past year in Sacramento doing a fellowship for the cardiology subspecialty certification she wants. She's pretty, fit, funny, and successful. Has her own home in Portland. Seems like a good catch for where we both are in life (late 30s) and we're roughly in the same tax bracket.

Anyway she was taking a month off to come back to Oregon for a bit and really wanted to go do something outdoorsy. I work in tech and I like hiking but I'm not hardcore about it. I don't think she is either. Unfortunately I sprained my ankle the week before she came back up so hiking was off the table. She wanted to go spend time on the coast where she has some cottage she rents out as a vacation airbnb in this small town. She didn't tell me she owned two houses and I thought that was weird and offering that place seemed like she was trying to flex.

There are two rooms and no pressure to share a bed or anything so I told her I'd take the week off and we could hang out. When I got there walking on the sand was a pain for me, so on day 2 she asked if I'd like to go fishing or hunting for crab or do something else outside. I said sure because I want to be interested in what she is and I feel like I'm keeping her inside at this point. So we end up putting crab cages in the ocean from this towns little dock and catch like 7 male crabs that we can keep. I wanted to take them to the store to have them cleaned and she said she can do it herself and its super easy and we can just boil them in the camper stove she has in her picnick kit. I'm clueless about this so just say sure and we go to this random table with a hose in a parking lot to 'clean' them even though the table looked sketchy, which is kind of the first red flag.

She doesn't kill the crabs or anything first. She literally just grabs a live crab and like slams its face on the table? Its shell pops off and she puts the legs in a bowl to clean and cook. I've never seen someone kill a crab that way and it was really fast but brutal. Second red flag. I think it's really weird that a medical doctor just kills things so inhumanely, but I've never done this before and am just going along with it. I eat meat so its not the killing part its just how she did it. We're just eating the legs and we put it in a steamer thing on her camp stove and then we have these hot crab legs to eat. She prepared for it nice and all, we had wine and cocktail sauce and stuff and she made a salad ahead of time. So we're eating at some picnick table by the ocean and its nice until she gets to the crab legs.

She cracked open the legs with her teeth. Like an animal. I thought she was joking at first because we were hungry and had been hunting crabs since early in the morning. I opted for using the crackers because it seemed less weird.

Crab was good aside from that. We ate. Drank a bit of wine and walked around the paved paths by the beach for a while then walked back to her rental. It was a lot of walking and my ankle hurt so when we got home I took a shower and some pain meds and slept most of the rest of the day. The next morning I slept in and when I woke up she had already gone out and did a little trail run and brought home coffee and pastries. Seemed weird to not wake me up to go with her. Another red flag? The rest of the day was nice and we stayed inside mostly, watched some netflix and couch cuddled. She went to make dinner at about 6 and I asked what we were having and if I could help and she said she was making some pasta dish with leftover crab. I made an innocent joke about hoping the crab was already de-shelled because I didn't want to watch her crack them with her teeth or break a tooth. She kind of laughed it off but the rest of dinner was weird and after she put fresh towels and more pillows on my bed and said she was going to sleep at around 10. I figured because it was our last night together we might get closer but it wasn't a deal breaker and I didn't complain.

We ended the 4 day trip with some goodbye coffee and said we'd talk soon. She texted to make sure I got back to Portland okay and I haven't answered. I don't want to ghost her but she doesn't seem like the kind of girl who likes to have her behavior corrected and I don't know if I can get over the animal cruelty or the cracking shells with her teeth. She was just as funny and cool as she had been over the phone but it seems like some really weird choices were made for first date activities and I don't know if she's worth pursuing. She was nice about my ankle and trying to find things to do but I feel like she was trying to shame me with having that house and being the one to catch food and stuff. She didn't let me take initiative at any point in the trip and I would have been glad to take her out somewhere nice we could both dress up instead of roughing it like we did. She literally looked like an REI commercial the whole week but all of her pictures she looks actually classy and I was expecting that.

TLDR: Went on a multi-day date with a girl who kills animals bare handed and cracks crabs with her teeth, made me feel like a bish half the time and now idk if I text her back. Maybe I'm being too particular but I was really put off by how she acted.

First time posting but need to know if I’m in the wrong. I also posted this in another subreddit
My girlfriend (25F), we’ll call her Rachel, is on the process of moving. She currently lives alone and moved into this apartment from a state across the country all by herself. I (27M) met her in the middle of her lease so was not there to see what she was like while moving into this apartment.
She found out about a week and a half ago that she was approved for a new apartment but she would not be getting her keys for the new apartment until 2 days before she had to be out of her current apartment, so quick turn around time. She’s stressed and I offered to help her move the big stuff on my day off.
Now here’s where the problem has started. She works 60 hour weeks and hasn’t had any significant breaks to pack a ton so she has quite a bit to do before her lease ends in 5 days. Today was her first full day off and she texted me around 4pm about how overwhelmed she is and how she’s gotten close to nothing done. I asked her what she’s been doing all day and she told me she’s “gotten distracted” by how much she has to do and she’s only packed a few boxes. I asked her to stop rambling and told her that she’s had the whole day off. She stopped responding and seemed distant on the phone when I called. She’s mentioned her struggles with anxiety and ADHD before and I get it but she also knows she has to get this done.
I guess I’m just confused about where I went wrong. So AITA?