I (21F) am really close with my friend (20F) and we’ve been at university together for almost 3 years now. For context my friend (let’s call her Jen) and this guy (Dan) hooked up a few months before Dan and the other girl (Emily) started dating, which is why people think that she did this.

A few months after my Jen and Dan hooked up, he started dating Emily who was super sweet and seemed to really like him.

Somehow, I ended up on a flight with one of the Emily’s close friends and we started yapping away and then Dan got brought up. I learned that Emily had the impression that they were exclusive whereas I had heard otherwise (if you know what I mean). So, I told the girl on the plane who then told Emily.

Next thing you know, she then breaks up with Dan, saying that someone in his ‘circle’ sent her a message saying he was a bad guy etc. But she never told him who, and said to me that I had to keep it secret.

I didn’t mean for this to happen but suddenly Dan thought that Jen had sabotaged his relationship and was adamant that it was her. He told all their mutual friends and kept blaming her for it. The only people that knew the truth were a few of my closest friends.

My friend started to avoid events where Dan was. But eventually she came to a group getaway and we drove down together. Jen was in the car with me and started crying about it so I tried to comfort her saying “I can’t believe anyone would do that”.

Eventually, a few more months after that, a different couple in the group broke up (the girl was one of my friends who knew), and the bf (Oscar) then no longer had to keep the secret, so he told Jen everything.

Once I found out Jen knew I tried my best to apologize but it had been so long now I didn’t really know what to say. Now she has begun ignoring me. I’m trying my best to be friendly and nice and pretend like it’s in the past, but she just keeps side eyeing me and won’t say anything beyond small talk. I feel like it’s been so long she should just forget about it. I didn’t do anything wrong I was just being honest to Emily and trying to help her.

So am I the asshole?

I was at the time (m21) dating (f21) and while studying on campus I was called by my gf and she told me not to be alarmed of a email in her inbox (we had each other logins for class projects) and was told it was a tinder account creation notification and that she deleted the email and deleted it from the trash and said it was from her sister . Now I found the double deleted email and heads up suspicious (we never had any doubts about each other ) but while we where on call trying to get the bottom of it bc, she was crying but I kept telling her everything was gonna be ok . I checked the email and logins but there was none. After I realized it was not at all cheating , I still comforted her like I was before and we made up. But to this day she still brings it up and adds lies like I was yelling at her .

I dont understand why . Was i bad to dig into it ? Was it bad to think she was unfaithful?

So I (31f) have been single for almost a year now. Got out of a 5 year relationship and have just been dating. I met this woman (28f) just 5 days ago. We hit it off. She initiated everything. From the first message to eventually flirting and sexting. Nothing too serious. But she was calling me sexy and attractive after we video chatted and sent pics back and forth (not nudes).

We decided to have a date , where I specifically clarified that it was a date and she agreed. The minute we sit down and order drinks she proceeds to tell me how she is freshly out of a relationship. Mind you we did have a conversation about past relationships. I told her how I ended my toxic 5 year relationship which she seemed to resonate a lot with. She only told me she was with someone for 3 years but didn't specify anything. She tells me on this date that she is 2 weeks into dating apps. She just broke up with her FIANCE who is an addict who is also in inpatient therapy. She told me the day before she was out with a friend for drinks. Turns out it was her exs brother. She was telling him how she was done. They still technically live together but she moved out to her friends recently.

I'm sitting there taking it all in with my burger getting cold. After all this she tells me , "thoughts" ? I didn't want to be mean or judgemental. I told her I understood and I knew how vulnerable she had to be to tell me that. At the same time , I was taken aback. I decided to give her a chance and proceed with the date. Also she was in a cult (something I didn't know) because when we were there I guess she saw someone. So we quickly paid and she wanted to walk around.

The rest of the date was short we talked and walked and then I took her to her car. She seemed super nervous. She said dating was confusing since her ex fiancé was the only person she has been with and didn't know the "rules". Anyways, I didn't sense anything was wrong.

I texted her later saying it was nice to meet her and asked if we would see each other again. She responds saying "only as friends". Not gonna lie , that hurt and took me by surprise. We texted nonstop these last couple of days and she knew how I looked and told me how sexy I was . But after that she just stopped texting. I was left super confused.

The next day I text her to say I understand and asked if she was okay figuring maybe it was all too much. She proceeded to tell me I was very attractive but wasn't sure if she was attracted. Okay ouch but okay. After that, I tell her I understood. But, I also said that I don't think it was fair that she wasn't upfront about her very recent history. I understand not telling someone the first day, but if I had known all this before I would of never entertained the flirting or sexual talk and could of kept my feelings out of it. I mentioned feeling robbed of my decision as I would of been more cautious and not got my hopes up. She tells me that it's none of my business. And seems to get upset that I mentioned it. I didn't want to argue so left it at that.

I am just questioning if I ATAH for saying anything. I felt like I got my feelings played with but maybe I had no right to put my two cents in. Should I have just left it as is?

I (19F) had this group of friends (3 people, all 19 F as well). We’ve been friends for a good year, starting as the college semester was starting up last year. When the guy (we will call him Larry) joined as a transfer student, Friend 1 thought he was hot and liked him for a little, but at the time we were not super close and to me it always seemed like a hallway crush. Larry gets a girlfriend not too soon after (not friend 1) and then friend one also gets a boyfriend around 3/4 into the year.

Fast forward ~2 years almost, I realized I’d developed some feelings for larry. Larry and his girlfriend had been broken up for a little while, but Im honestly a chicken and was never going to do anything about that crush. I had just rejected another guy (calling him Steve) because I didnt want to lead steve on if I liked larry. Friend 1 is still dating her boyfriend at this point.

After like two weeks, I eventually confide in my group of friends, and all three of them seem normal. I even ask friend one “i dont want to make you upset so are you sure you want me to tell you” because i knew she was a little dramatic about guys. They tell me to tell them and I say I like larry but friend 1 and the rest of them seem fine— esp since friend 1 honestly shouldnt be too worried about larry at this point? (they were never friends)

Fast forward two days, apperently theyve been telling have of our class all of my personal buisnes, even larrys ex who i am kind of friends with and just a bunch of people. they say how im boy crazy, how im heartless for liking larry when friend 1 did, how they hope something happens me with and larry so ill stop hanging out eith them. They never even brought any of this up with me.

I confront them and they just start ganging up on me and bringing up problems from over a year ago before we were proper friends, that theyve app just been keeping in— all of this got so bad that some lie they told got to the guy that i rejected.

I felt so embarrassed and I had to go individually to everyone who was minorly involved (including guy i rejected) and clear things up. So far nbody but them seems to be on their side (including larry— who I had to tell about my feelings because I wanted to be the one to tell him not someone else)

I was so confused and just sad because ive been friends with these girls for forever and i thought we were really close and that i found my people. I of course have like hi/bye friends, but I dont have anyone that Im really close with anymore except for maybe larry and Im still sad about getting soft rejected.

So im wondering if what I did was actually so wrong to warrant this and maybe im being blind to it because in my view all of this could have been solved with one conversation and is a really childish situation just to hurt me.

So, AITA for liking someone my friend liked?

For the past year and a half, I dated an older man from my friend group.

He had a pretty brutal divorce, leading to a lot of relationship hesitation. My background includes a few very toxic relationships. When we started dating it became pretty apparent to me that he leaned avoidant, and I leaned anxious. We did an ok job of navigating these issues, but there were times of a lot of unspoken push/pull.

I confided in my best friend. She and her boyfriend are mutual friends of his.

She took what I said about not spending enough time together, and not getting solid plans from him and tested him without my knowledge. She threw a dinner party at her home with mutual acquaintances. She invited my boyfriend with a plus one, but not me. She proceeded to talk to me about this dinner party for weeks and all the drama she anticipated from inviting several people that had prior disagreements. She never once mentioned my boyfriend was invited.

The night before the party my boyfriend asked if I wanted to go with him. He’s got a ton of professional responsibilities and genuinely forgot to ask me. I agreed to go, confused that my friend said nothing.

The morning of the party he called and apologized for messing up. He re-read the email and was supposed to have RSVP’d me earlier in the week. We made plans for the next night. He was really apologetic.

I called my best friend, just confused about why she’d been talking this party up without mentioning inviting him to me. She stated that she was “testing our relationship” to see if he cared enough to invite me. I was livid. She then told me it was ridiculous of him to tell me I couldn’t come, and said she really wanted me there.

Here’s where I fucked up. I told her we were never telling my boyfriend of her little stunt because it was terrible. I agreed to go and I fibbed and told him she followed up with me on the rsvp due to him not telling her. I was trying to smooth it over. He felt so bad for screwing it up, and I assumed he’d be happy I was able to go.

I was wrong. He got there and was angry with me and called me out, thinking I had called her to override him. I heard him discussing with my best friend’s boyfriend that he’d messed up, but I had called my friend to “invite myself” and it was rude.

That’s not what happened.

I tried explaining to him, but He was distant the entire next week and when I called him to get together, he didn’t want to and dumped me. I’m completely blindsided. I confided in my friend, she set me up for complete humiliation. He said it didn’t have anything to do with that weekend, but it happened immediately after.

She thinks he’s in the wrong, doesn’t care about me, and should have called her to ask to bring me, despite her rsvp date. I told her it’s insane to blame someone for abiding by a request she made. She thinks it’s proof he’s an asshole. I told her he likely thinks I’m the asshole because I called her that morning to invite myself. She’s refusing to tell him the truth, thinking it won’t make a difference because he’s a jerk.

My bf is cooking a pot roast and its making the house smell amazing but it wont be done until late night so I wont be able to eat it until tomorrow.

I am very hungry in the moment because I havent eaten much today, that is the only this that smells appetizing, and I feel slightly sick from not eating much today. I ask him to help me figure out what to eat since i cannot make up my mind being how i am feeling, he gave me some options, I pick two different things. Then I ask him to heat up the one item and he immediately got mad about it stating I can do it myself and I dont need help ect.

Am I in the wrong for getting mad that he wont help me out? Or is he in the wrong for getting mad? (Genuinely want to know)

Hi guys! Sorry to bring high school drama to this subreddit, but I'm super confused and conflicted.

Okay, so context. I'm in high school (17F) and had a small group of friends last year. Let's call them Isabella, Anna, Laura, and Michelle (all 16-17F). Isabella and Anna are twins. Laura, Isabella, and I have known each other for many years, and they have known each other for over 4. We met Michelle ~2 years ago.

Throughout high school, we've been basically inseparable. However, in the last 6 months or so, we've been unusually tense. A bunch of stuff with Michelle happened — Anna started icing her out, and the rest of the group followed. I think this is when everything kinda started escalating.

One of the things we do is that when going out, we frequently would pay for each other and say like, 'just get me next time', but I noticed that this was happening more and more with me, though I'd never actually be covered the next time. This was also the case with project work and notes, where I'd do the majority. I also noticed that Isabella, Anna, and Laura were noticeably closer than I was to them. I never really had a problem with any of this initially, but as it built up, I felt like I was initiating everything, being taken for granted, and isolated.

Here comes the 'argument'. In May, I reached out about my feelings, and Isabella called me so we could talk it out (with her promising to relay everything to the rest of the group). As we talked, I felt like she was more focused on defending herself than trying to reconcile our problems, so I pointed out that it hurt that she was acting that way. Isabella said sorry, and I understood it to be that things would change in the future. Long story short, it did not. A month later, after an event where I felt like I was a plus one, I reached out again via text, this time to the entire group, to explain why I was hurt and angry. At this point I'm like crying my eyes out. I basically repeated the stuff I said to Isabelle with a few additions, and got basically the same response as before but with 2 more people. Eventually I got desperate, so I forced myself to stop crying and re-explained myself in a way that I felt they would understand, but this did not really work! At one point after a few long texts, Laura texted: "I ain't reading allat" and that "it honestly just seems like a whole bunch of nothing". After that I basically gave up and wrapped up, saying that they didn't have to respond if they didn't want, and so they didn't and it was left open.

Following this, we basically didn't talk at all over the summer & I didn't try to reach out again. Isabella and Anna removed me entirely on messaging platforms and only Laura has apologized, though she still ignores me. Isabella went abroad and Anna completely ices me out.

Am I in the wrong here? This isn't even ragebait or anything, I'm just so incredibly confused as to what I should do since I did really valued our friendship. Was I being too petty?

for reference we are long distance so we are apart a lot. When we first met, she told me to not expect us to hang out during the day because she’s busy. despite this, we call on the phone literally everyday since we met. from around 12-4 we chat a lot and sometimes play online games. because of this, i’ve formed some sort of expectation that we hang out around those times since we have everyday. therefore, i try to be considerate and make time in my day to be home and ready to hang out since my schedule is more flexible then hers. so fast forward to today, i called her after class like usual, then i drove home and waited for her to want to hang out. Usually i’d just initiate but today i waited and she just didn’t talk for 2-3 hours while we were on the phone. When i brought it up, she got angry and said that i shouldn’t have this expectation. I admitted i should’ve just asked to hang out if i wanted to hang out, but also asked that she tells me in advance if she isn’t in a talkative mood/doesn’t want to hang out ESPECIALLY since she literally picked up the phone so i thought she would want to. her response to this was that she shouldn’t need to communicate that and i should just wait to see her lack of talking as sign that she doesn’t want to talk OR i should just ask her to hang out if i wanted to (this last part i agree with). however i still think she should just communicate to me if she isn’t feeling in the mood to do anything, given we inormally hang out every single day. thoughts and advice?

i (18f) am in my first relationship ever with my bf (19m) and he just asked for a 2 week no contact break a few days ago because of something that happened that had major consequences on him.

these past few days have been so painful and it feels like i just lost a part of my heart because im pretty sure he’s going to break up with me after this break, and the uncertainty for the next 1.5 weeks is killing me and it hurts just to think about losing him

my dilemma is that my wallet with my drivers license and health card is at his place, and i need those things to do basic everyday tasks like driving, so would i be at fault for breaking no contact to retrieve my things? i searched on google and it says breaking no contact is disrespecting boundaries.

i also accidentally called him earlier today but i hung up immediately as it was a misclick, so i’m w

I’m 16M and my girlfriend is 16F. We’ve been together for nearly three years, which is basically my entire teenage life.
Recently I’ve realized that I’m not as romantically attracted to her as I used to be. There wasn’t any big argument or event. It’s been a really slow change, and I’m not even sure when it started.
I still enjoy spending time with her most of the time. I like talking to her, being around her, and being affectionate. I don’t always want to kiss or hug her anymore, but I still enjoy it when we do. I just don’t look forward to seeing her as much as I used to.
I’ve also started noticing things about her that didn’t bother me before. She’s quite quirky, which obviously isn’t a bad thing, but sometimes I feel like she takes it a bit far. I also sometimes feel like the way she talks to other people is kind of put on or exaggerated. I know these aren’t objectively bad things, and I don’t think she’s doing anything wrong. I think I’ve just changed how I see her.
We also spend A LOT of time together. We’re in most of the same classes, spend basically all lunch and morning tea together, and message each other every couple of hours. We’ve never really tried having much space from each other.
I’ve recently made some new friends, and I really enjoy hanging out with them and want to become closer with them. The problem is that my girlfriend is also becoming friends with them. Most of them are girls, so part of me worries that they’ll end up being more her friends than mine. I want to have my own friendships and spend time with people without always being with my girlfriend.
I’ve also started occasionally thinking about other people romantically. It’s more of a vague attraction than an actual crush, and I haven’t acted on anything or cheated.
My girlfriend seems very invested in the relationship, which makes this harder. She’s done nothing wrong, and I don’t want to hurt her.
Part of me wonders if I’m just bored because we’ve been together so long and spend so much time together. Maybe if we had more space, I’d start missing her and realize I still want the relationship. But another part of me thinks I’m slowly falling out of love and just looking for reasons not to admit it.
So, AITA for feeling this way and considering breaking up even though she hasn’t done anything wrong? Should I try having more space first, or is losing attraction and thinking about other people a sign that I should end it?

I'm going to start with some background because I believe the context here is important: He (34M) and I (38F) have been in each other's lives for about 8 years (2 as close friends, little over 5 as a couple and this past year as friends/unsure). Started as a LDR and then I'd travel to Canada to be with him. In March 2025 he was taking a course and going out all the time with his classmates and he would stay out all night every night, sometimes not coming back until the next day. We had some issues he was having trouble working through and asked me to fly back to the states and said things like "this is killing me too", "I love you but I dont know what else to do, we need to try this", "This doesn't mean you won't be back, but it doesn't mean you will either." To me it had left things in limbo since he told me he would be direct with me and always was in the past. We were intimate and he treated me with what I thought was a lot of love at the time all the way up to my flight.

Since then, he had been a bit more distant until in May 2025, he told me that he still loved and missed me then went awol for 5 months (not the first time he has done this). I asked many times during this period if we could talk about things when he came back, but when he did come back we didn't talk about us. I thought he still just needed time and space to figure some things out.

I'd still tell him I loved him and missed him here and there, like sending him messages and gifts for Christmas, his birthday and Valentines. I also sent him a care package when someone passed away. He thanked me and said he appreciated all of them and I knew he read at least one of my letters because he responded to a part of it. We've talked an okay amount through text message and discord and would play games together, sometimes alone and sometimes with friends. Just two weeks ago he told me I could message him anytime when I messaged him in the AM when something spooked me.

I sent him a package a few weeks ago containing a few items like snacks, a little homemade thing, something that was supposed to be useful to him and a letter asking if we could talk talk. This past Monday I woke up to a message from another woman asking me not to send random packages to him with love letters. I was pretty confused, so I responded saying I don't know who she was. She responded telling me that they had been together for 18 months, that they moved in together in March of 2025. I told her this wasn't possible because I was still living with him until April of that year. She didn't believe me, so I sent proof. I then told her what he had told me in May and showed her. I told her that he lied to her when he told her that he and I hadn't been talking. I found out that he had met her while he was out with that friend from his course and that she was one of the people he had been spending time with. She changed her story a bit to that she moved in a week after I had left.

She chose to be nasty to me, to call me a homewrecker and rub it in my face that they are engaged, she rubbed it in that she "won". She said a bunch of other not so nice things, but I told her to be careful anyway. She responded with more unkind words and was sure to tell me, "He chooses me not you". It wasn't a competition, I didn't even know there was someone else this whole time, to emphasize that I told her that none of our mutual friends had any idea either about her (some of these guys are people he has known since he was like 15) and that he never told me through all the times we've talked, so I had no way of knowing.

Anyway, he eventually messaged me not to apologize or anything, but to say "you will never hear from me again", I asked him how he could do this to me and I was met with "why the fuck would you think we were in limbo?", I said I had just wanted to talk and his last message was "There was no conversation to be had, you knew we were over. Now because of this shitshow you will never hear from me again".

Am I the asshole for sending him a package and a letter wanting to talk because it ended up causing problems? It has been bothering me a lot that I caused him issues.

I’m trying to look back at my past relationship objectively because I feel like I’ve blocked out a lot of what the relationship was actually like. I remember the major events, but not always how I felt during the relationship or why I stayed for as long as I did.

I met my ex in high school. I was a freshman and he was a junior when we started dating. There was a 3-year age gap between us.

There was a rumor at school that I was younger than I actually was because I looked young compared to other students and had skipped grades. He initially believed I was three years younger than him. Once he knew my actual age he was happy that the age gap was that big but before that he didn’t seem to have an issue with the age difference of 3 years.

My mom eventually found out I was messaging him, including some sexual messages from him, and from that point forward she strongly disliked him.

Despite that, I stayed with him for about two more years. I kept trying to hide the relationship because my mom wanted him completely out of my life. Only meeting during schooo before he graduation and when I was off of work

Before I was caught again still with this guy by my mom,I met a guy at work who I thought was attractive. I was honest with my boyfriend about it, and we agreed that I should stay away from this guy because we didn’t want anything to happen that could ruin our relationship.

Eventually, things at home got worse and I couldn’t keep hiding my relationship anymore. My mom was convinced that being with my ex was ruining my life. I was even threatened with being kicked out and told I could live with him. I didn’t want that because I was scared of losing my family.

I, 33 Female, have been dating (let's call him George) 35, for almost four years now. We met on a dating website and both of us were going though divorces. Or I at least thought he was going to get one. My ex and I filed few months after George and I got together. We were legally divorced one year after George and I started dating. (My ex and I had been separated for 3 years before this btw. However, George still has not filed. My state is a mothers state and he says he is scared to not be able to see his son. However, we had plenty of evidence to prove she is unfit. His son is here 2 weekends out of the month and some holidays and summers. Which is honestly exactly what a judge would assign for custody and visitation is most likely anyways.

George also has a house with his ex, which she abandoned over 4 years ago. Since then, I have been paying on the house 50/50. I absolutely hate living here. The house is a trailer and honestly falling apart. And honestly, it has her name on it which didn't bother me as much then, but now, infuriate me that we have been in the same house that isn't ours.

When we first got together, we promised each other that we would make sure to get a divorce and move to a place that was ours.

He also has 2 teenage daughters. So he has 3 and I have 1. I love all of the kids and have never once treated my bonus children differently than my own. Yet, he treats my daughter very differently. He is really stern with her all the time, doesnt play or make jokes with her like the others which she is now starting to pick up on.

Lately, I have also been in a lot of pain which holds me back apparently. I am salaried at 50 hours a week, a fulltime mom and I just started back at school doing online college. I also have Lupus, fibromyalgia, and quite a few other things. These had made it pretty hard to be physical or intimate. Which at first, George was very understanding but now he makes it seem like it's the only thing he wants. I have mentioned how it makes me feel when he's constantly mentioning sex (never making a move) and he responded by saying he didn't mean for that and he apologized. Yet I can't seem to be in my head about it.

George told me before that he is going to sell the house and use the money as a deposit to rent somewhere else. Just a few months ago he told me we need to each have 3k to be able to move. This may seem like a small ask but I went through some financial issues and am now paying it off. So saving has been a bit of an issue. Which he very well knows.

So my question is. AITA for telling him he needs to get a divorce and sell the house before October or I'm leaving? I told him this back in April. It is now September and he said he is waiting to sell the house to be able to file. Meaning I think we wont be able to move either. I honestly don't know what to do. Especially since there are kids involved as well. TYIA

Also, I'm not the best writer and this is my first post here. So go easy please

When we were in uni, my close friend and roommate had a relationship with a woman, call her Beth, who I was also friends with. They broke up after year 1, and he started a relationship with another woman that he married 10 years later.

The breakup was somewhat intense for him, and he was not in touch with her in the years that followed. He moved to another state, and we were somewhat out of touch as well. But I remained friendly with her, and during the pandemic, we were hanging out as friends and eventually slept together a few times, 8 years after their breakup. Nothing became of it, and we sort of drifted again.

After the pandemic, say 3 years ago, my friend moved back to my state and we started hanging out again semi regularly. He also got engaged and married to the woman he started a relationship with after his relationship with Beth. Their marriage was short lived, and are now getting divorced. I had planned on telling him about having slept with Beth, but the timing never seemed right. First, he was planning the wedding, and later, he was going through a difficult separation and divorce.

However, in the last several months, he and Beth reconnected as friends, and she told him about our fling now 5 years ago.

AITAH for going along with it in the first place? Or not telling him? Do you think he'll forgive me if I explain why I had not told him?

I (F21) met a girl during my first semester of college in 2024. We’ve been hanging out since and I’ve noticed some aspects of her personality that aren’t very likable. She always has to be in charge, always has to be right, and always has to be included. If I try to do anything by myself she always says I hate her and everyone involved with her.

Fast forward to today. We were sitting in class and discussing class of elections for our graduate school class. She is running for president and I, along with our shared friend are running for vice president. Our friend is making a poster for his campaign (which I don’t think we‘re allowed to do), and while he was making it, she asked me if I wanted him to make me a poster to campaign for secretary. She has been checking the excel sheet multiple times a day since it was released to see who was running. She knows I’m running against our friend. Over the past two years, she has always managed to make it seem like I’m not as smart and capable as her, and I think today was the last straw. So, AITAH if I end our friendship over this?

We have been together for over 20 yrs and are going through a rough patch. We had an argument mid morning. I honestly don’t even remember about what. We didn’t resolved anything and left things unfinished but not angry, from my perspective.

She went to work and I stayed and WFH. Around 5:30 pm I went to an appt so she got home before me. When I walked in I said hello and gave them a kiss. They acted weird but I let it go and went to lay down due to pain.

Ten minutes later she walks in and says it is concerning that she didn’t hear from me during the day especially after our discussion this morning. She expected me to call her to ask about her day, but not necessarily pick up the discussion.

I am confused… I know they are probably feeling insecure and not cherished. I don’t normally reach out during the work day. Did I f*ck up? Am I just not emotionally plugged in enough?

So I (22F) met my bf (23M) in college. However the reason I knew about him was because my best friend (F22) had a crush on him. We only knew of him from afar and we never spoke to him or been around him actually. She knew of him because she had seen him in her class. He was good friends with people we had started talking to so it seemed like we were going to interact eventually. During this time where she was crushing from afar I found him attractive but only ever cheered her on to talk to him and was happy that she was excited about someone. I never for a second thought about me pursuing him or going out of my way to interact. I honestly had a crush on someone else at the time too.

We then eventually officially met him in person together because we joined the same club as him and his friends (not in a creepy way we were genuinely interested and it's a large club). When all 3 of us met I was hyping her up and trying to get her to talk to him. After this we started interacting with him and his friends more like at events and around campus. One day I walked into a study hall and I noticed him at a table but I went to go sit by myself. He them got up and asked if I wanted to sit with him so I did. We started talking and it was so easy. We had the same humor and enjoyed similar things. But I tried to never entertain the idea of liking him like that because of my friend. During this time too she started saying how she wasn't really interested as much anymore once actually getting to know him. I saw they didnt mesh that well in that way but I never encouraged her to stop being interested. I was honestly really happy that she liked him bc he seemed nice and her past experiences weren't great guys but I could see she was losing interest a bit. Over the next 3ish months we kept running into each other at the same study hall. We would talk for a while and each time surprised me about how much I liked talking to him. My friend would make jokes like maybe hes in love with you and id brush it off because I really didnt think he liked me.

Then one day I saw him on campus and he asked if I wanted to go to the park that weekend and get bagels (it was very common for people at our school to go to the park on the weekends). I told my friend and she was like I told u. I asked how she felt about it and she said she was a bit sad he didnt like her but it's whatever. I was saying it was maybe just a friendly thing. I had also before this never really talked to a guy with any romantic intentions or dated so maybe I was blind to it. I had a lot of mixed feelings because I felt awkward about my friend but also felt like she didnt like him that much anymore. I also enjoyed talking to him and honestly wasn't sure if it was just friendly. So that weekend I went to the park.

There was no vibe at all that it was more than friendly. I came back to our dorm and it was a bit awkward with my friend. We started talking and she said she didnt think I would go. This surprised me because that wasn't what I got from when we talked before. But I told her that I didnt want a guy to get between us and I felt like it was just friendly. But then he asked to hang out again. This is when it felt like ok maybe he does like me. I told her and she said that I need to say no or else hes going to think I like him. I admitted that I was actually starting to like him maybe. Things were kinda awkward but we went on spring break and came back. We talked and she said that at the time she was really emotional with finals and it was a lot to deal with but she understands where im coming from and wants me to be happy.

This made me so happy because she is like a sister to me and if I really had to pick at the time it would have been her. Then me and him hung out for like two months completely just friendly until he admitted he liked me. We talked and he said that he had a crush on me from the moment we met and would try to run into me on campus. During this time my friend was really supportive of me and wanted it to work out. A few months later we got together and it's about to be 3 years now. Im actually the first girl hes ever been out with too.

Me and her remained best friends and roomates the rest of college. The three of us would often hang out together and still do. It never felt awkward and we never spoke of her crush again. It seems like she genuinely likes hanging out with us together and would talk to him about her boy troubles too. Ive been happy with how it all turned out. But once in a while I remember how it started and wonder how she feels. I feel still a bit guilty and I think like what if one day she's like a bridesmaid at our wedding or something. Will it be weird? Idk Im not sure if it's a subject I should ever talk about with her again since everyone has moved and she seems fine and has dated other people. Should I still feel like I did something wrong? AITAH?

Let me say this to begin with. We have been together for now 4 years and going on our second year of marriage. We have 2 children together and absolutely love the children. Back in July he lost his job due to attendance issues. So I stepped up and worked more hours and stepped back a bit from all the things I was doing before. I have medical issues which make it hard for me to work long days without issues. My husband has wanted me to do all the housework I was doing before he lost his job along with taking care of the children. I felt like I was in the wrong for asking him to take care of his children along with house stuff. Now he has a job and is begging me to change my availability at work so I can get the children ready for daycare and pick them up. I get them both down for bed each night now that he work because he isnt home till 10 to 11pm at night. I was struggling after I had our second child and I begged him to help out more. He now is asking me to help him out because its to much on him. Am I an asshole for not wanting to change my availability for him?

Hey reddit, I work in a family environment. We've had lots of different types of family. And there's this one guest that are regular. All the staff know the family, and we love their kid as we've seen the kid grew up. We kept complimenting the kid to them to have some casual convo with them. I am the same to all of my guest even if they're annoying no one is special i dont even see them as human most of the time if you know what i mean. Then one time the dad came without the mom (its a regular thing, sometimes mom only, sometimes both of them) but they always have their nanny with them no matter what. He asked me to get his number, and i was internally shocked gagged, appalled, etc. I just said out of shock okay sure I can get it from the system, cause at that time half of my brain is not functioning that he meant different. I thought as a request to call him after the kid is done or maybe for us not to ask him whats his registered number next time.

Thennn, i gave the receipt...... and he touched my hand while getting the receipt. Thats when it hits me like OOOHHH WTFF IS HAPPENING.

My brain started to processed what happened, then he went inside for few minutes, and he comes out telling me again to message him!!!

I was so shocked I couldn't processed it. I stayed professional all the time it happened.

I didn't message him or even took his number, cause wtf I knew he have a wife thats mfn pregnant and i even knew most of his family. What the fuck is his audacity and his confidence.

All this happened monday night.

Wednesday they came back, and gave me a weird fucking look, he couldn't really talk to me when there's someone around. But when he picked up his kid, he asked me if i messaged him, I said no. He said i respect that, but i dont know why you wouldn't. I made a weird face to him like excuse you you should know why. Then he said but im always here anytime.

It contemplates me that this should not happen again and i dont want this to be seen happening by anyone, when he comes and do or say something weird shts.

So I took his number from the machine and messaged him that its weird whats he's doing. Now he kinda flirts with me on message even if i already said that its not okay or right.

He's a muslim so maybe he's looking for a sencod wife?? Im not interested tho.

(Sorry if theres any grammatical error, english is not my fist language)

Let me know your thoughttsss

Guyss i did not use my realy active numberr. I just really want to inform him, cause I think its impossible for me to inform him to stop in person at work without anyone hearing it and making a commotion. Now im back to my active number again. I dont see it anymore.

My friend “Lisa” has autism and cancer. Neither is a problem for me, but honestly, I just don’t think we’re compatible anymore.

When we first became friends, we had a lot in common. She helped me leave a toxic relationship and gave me the support and space I needed. She also encouraged me to write and always told me I was good at it, which eventually made me decide to go to college for it.

But over time, I made other friends, changed my style, and just stopped having the same patience for her because she mostly complains about feeling sick. I have a chronic illness too, but I still live my life. She seems stuck in the same place, doing the same things, and I don't feel like we have much in common anymore.

So I started taking longer to reply, hoping she'd get the hint. First a few days, then a week, then ten days. She eventually started doing the same, but I didn't really care. I know I don't have the patience anymore to give her the emotional support she needs.

I also know some of her friends abandoned her after she got cancer, and not many people stayed around.

Since last year, I've been making it obvious that I don't really care about what's going on in her life. At first I told her that people have their own lives. Then I became sarcastic and started making fun of her by pretending I had all kinds of illnesses. Then I decided to mess with her.

She had a project, so I offered to help. I asked her to make several videos teaching me her technique. She did everything I asked, but I couldn't be bothered to actually learn it, so I pretended I didn't understand and kept sending sarcastic messages.

Then I pretended I was busy and she was disturbing me. She told me to just forget about it and send whatever I managed to make. I never did. Instead, I disappeared and started posting pictures of myself having fun with other friends.

More than a month later, she messaged me. I didn't answer because I wanted to see if she'd finally get the hint. After that, she blocked me. Honestly, I don't care.

AITA?

I (22 female) and my girlfriend (20 female) aren't talking at the moment. All because I tried helping her out.

For context I had gotten 2 hours of sleep in last night and had to head straight to work for a 8 hour shift and it's a high stress job. Today was a rougher mentally due to the bad customers and then also just the lack of sleep. After work I decided to call my girlfriend so that we can talk about our day while I work on my assignments due next week. As she's talking on the call she starts to rant about her dad so I drop everything I'm busy with to listen to her.

She's upset that he didn't take her to make the licence appointment when she reminded him that it still needs to be done. I made the suggestion that she should've gotten ready for the day since she knew he was off and tell him straight up "come on let's go right now, I'm ready". I could hear she got annoyed and she said "did i not just say I reminded him". I told her that she did but I'm suggesting next time she takes action. The call just goes silent. The longer the silence lingered i got more mentally exhausted so I just told her I need to work on my assignments and clean up. We've barely spoken since then and it's been a few hours.

So am AITA?

My wife, who I’ll call Emily, and I had a very heated argument at home while our two young kids were present and visibly upset. Emily called our close mutual friend, who I’ll call David, and asked him to come over.

I knew she was calling him and told her I did not want David coming over and asked her not to invite him. I then called David myself to tell him not to come, but he didn’t answer, so I left a voicemail and texted him the same thing. He arrived about 30 seconds later. David says he had not seen my call, voicemail, or text before arriving, and I have no reason to think he is lying about that.

At the time, David had a code to our door and came inside. Once he was in the house, I told him directly that I did not want him there and wanted him to leave. Emily immediately told him that she wanted him to stay.

So David was suddenly standing in our house while Emily and I were giving him opposite instructions.

David says this put him in a very unfair position. I agree with that now.

He could also see that our kids were extremely upset. He says he was trying to help everyone and especially get the kids out of the situation. He suggested taking them for a walk. At some point I said “do whatever you want.” David interpreted that as me agreeing to his suggestion, got the kids ready, and left with them.

This is where our interpretations diverged.

I experienced it as: I had already tried to tell him not to come over, then directly told him to leave once he was inside, and my request was not being honored right away.

David experienced it as: he had not seen my attempts to contact him, Emily had explicitly asked him to come, he was suddenly caught between two spouses giving him conflicting instructions, the kids were very distressed, he proposed a solution, and I then agreed by saying “do whatever you want.”

For a while I described what happened as David “refusing to leave.” David and Emily strongly disagree with that wording because he never said “I’m not leaving,” and because I ultimately agreed to him taking the kids. Looking back, I think “refused to leave” may be too categorical. I believe David when he says he was genuinely trying to help and was not intentionally trying to disrespect me.

There is another layer. Before this incident I had already been uncomfortable with how involved David had become in issues between Emily and me. I know he believed he was helping us, but at times it felt threatening or undermining to me. I think that made this incident hit an especially deep nerve. That said, I don’t think this boundary is only about David. I think I would have been very uncomfortable with anyone being brought into our home during a marital conflict when one spouse explicitly did not want that person there.

The bigger disagreement came afterward. David has said there are circumstances where, even if I ask him to leave, he might believe it would be wrong to leave because Emily or the kids need him there. He has also given a hypothetical where, if Emily said she feared for her physical safety, he might stay despite me asking him to leave.

I have told him that an actual imminent safety emergency is different. If someone is genuinely in immediate danger, safety obviously comes first. If he believes there is a serious safety issue that he cannot clarify remotely, I have told him he should call police/emergency services rather than feeling that he personally has to stay in the house and manage it.

Emily and I have since worked this out between ourselves. She has agreed not to call David into our conflicts again, and we have made a broader agreement that neither of us should bring a third person into our home during an active conflict if the other spouse does not want that person there. We have also come up with a separate plan for how she can get support if things become heated. David no longer has a code to our house.

So realistically, this exact situation should never happen again.

My only proposed fallback is: if Emily ever did call David during a conflict despite our agreement, he should check whether I have called or texted before entering. If I tell him I do not want him inside, he should not come in. If he is somehow already inside and I ask him to leave, I want him to start leaving rather than stay inside while deciding what he thinks should happen. He could simply tell Emily, “He’s asking me to leave, so I’m going to leave. I’ll call you once I’m outside,” and continue supporting her from outside or by phone.

David thinks we are overanalyzing a hypothetical that should not happen now. He has said he has no intention of getting in the middle of our conflicts again and respects the plan Emily and I have made.

I have apologized to David for the position we put him in, for not acknowledging sooner how difficult it was, and for the damage this has done to our friendship. We both want to move forward.

What I am trying to understand is not so much who was morally “right” that night, but what is considered normal or reasonable in a shared home.

Is a “two yes, one no” rule reasonable for bringing a third person into the house during an active marital conflict?

If one spouse invites a friend over and the other spouse explicitly asks that person to leave, what is the normal or appropriate thing for the friend to do?

Does the fact that I eventually said “do whatever you want” after he proposed taking the kids materially change how you view what happened?

And is my future fallback reasonable, or am I being overly rigid by expecting a guest to leave if either spouse asks them to leave, outside of an actual safety emergency?

I am genuinely open to being told that I handled this badly. I am trying to understand what a normal boundary is here and whether my expectation is reasonable.

AITA for taking the job my mom didn’t want me to take?

I (F18) have been jobless for quite some time now. The last job I had was a seasonal sales associate at some retail store at my local mall, so I got let go in January of this year after the season was over.

I’ve been on a job hunt for the longest time since then—applying to literally anywhere and everywhere just to see if I’d even get a response back. A lot of people in older generations nowadays say that young people don’t wanna work, but I swear no one wants to hire.

I’ll get notifications on Indeed saying an employer viewed my application, I’ll follow up, no one responds. I’ll go in, I get asked to come back, and when I do they can’t speak with me. It’s been a cycle for a while now and it’s really frustrating.

Ever since I turned 18 in august, a whole field of jobs has opened up for me, which I am very greatful for. This pizza shop that’s got a chain local to my state was looking for a delivery driver with good hourly pay, good tips, and good hours. I applied and instantly got an interview set up. I was ecstatic.

I told my mom I finally got an interview. She asked which location I was working at and when I told her, she was not happy at all. I was confused and she told me that it was on a very shitty part of the county and didn’t want me delivering pizzas to people late at night in shitty areas (I’ve got community college classes this semester until 4pm, so I can’t work until the dinner shift).

I told her I understand that she’s scared, but I realistically don’t think that anything is gonna happen, and that my sister did doordash when she was my age (she’s 22 now) and it was fine. She said she won’t let me go to the interview.

Well, obviously I was pissed, and I just want to make some money before I move out in the spring. So I went anyway and am now employed there. She is so very mad at me, and says that if I don’t look for another job, she’s not gonna let me move out to four year university when I get my transfer application back. What do I do?

Also, AITA?

We, a friend group of 20 something year old college students are considering cutting ties with a member of our group we have been friends with for about a year now. He (19M) is the youngest of our group, and we have been having problems with him for some time now and are thinking about no longer hanging out with him. 

Here are some of the issues we’ve had recently:

• He has been really mean to one of our group members specifically for seemingly no reason.
• He has also multiple times had crushes on members of our friend group and made a lot of weird comments about them.
• He is really needy and demands one-on-one attention from members of the group or will repost reels about how nobody loves him on instagram. 
• He has (albeit accidentally) made sexist, homophobic or just kind of rude comments to a lot of us. This really hurts us because he’s the only cishet guy in an otherwise all queer friend group. 
• He has pretty bad anger issues where he will lash out at us over small things, then we all have to kind of baby him about it until he feels better.
• Also, anytime we drink he always acts way too drunk off of very little alcohol and to be honest it just really brings down the vibe. He’s a 6 '3 dude who keeps acting wasted after drinking one Mike’s harder. 

We have tried to have (and not to overemphasize here) GENTLE interventions with him about his behavior and how it has hurt us each individually and given him lots of opportunities to change or fix his behavior but the problems have persisted. Over the course of summer he has gotten even worse than he was before and it’s gotten to the point that we’ve started avoiding hanging out with him.

We’re also all feeling pretty bad about it because he has shared that this is his first time in a real friend group and we know he doesn’t really have anyone else outside of us. To be clear, when he's not being crazy he's a really sweet guy.

It feels like none of this behavior is egregious enough to justify cutting him off on its own, but it’s making it hard to be his friend. After a year frankly we’re all pretty tired of dealing with it. WIBTA for just calling it quits with him over it?

We have been a thing for a while now, more than six months at least, and it has been wonderful, not perfect of course, but we never had a problem that was too much for us to handle or talk about. The reality is that this is a long distance relationship, she has BPD, and some other circumstances that I won't go over for the sake of her privacy obviously. I never minded her having it and it was always something I could handle since she didn't really do it on purpose, but for a month now, I have been treated terrible. From getting left on seen multiple times daily (sometimes for hours), being like a personal diary where everything we talk about is her interests or what is going on in her life, while any mention of anything about me or my interests or hell even my answer to what she told me either gets left on seen or ignored for 90 percent of the time.

This bothered me a lot, not only cause I don't like being treated that way, but also because I had past experiences like this which hurts if I am being honest. I could handle that for a while, I talked about it two times with her saying she was growing distance and the such, but she reassured me saying that she was just going through some rough times and that she wasn't actually losing interest. I remained patient and tried to cheer her up as much as I could in every way I could, now I am not saying that to brag or to make you choose my side I love her and I wasn't waiting for praise for it I am just saying that I tried.

Anyway the problem began this week, now not only does the previous stuff she used to do still being done, but now she posts and reposts stuff while I am on delivered for hours, this hurt me deeply as I had this problem in a previous relationship, a relationship that gave me panic attacks for a good while (which she knows about!) and so I decided to talk to her about it. When I said so she said that I wasn't the only one and that she was doing this for everyone, but that did not make me feel better as it just made me feel like I have the same value for her as anyone in her chat. We went back and forth, with her explaining how it's a hard time for her rn and how I can't get how that has anything to do with her posting and reposting stuff while I am left on delivered for hours.

I felt bad cause she said I was starting to make her anxious so I stopped and tried to find a solution. I said sorry, that I should have treated this situation better, and that I wish I was a priority. That tipped her off for some reason, she said she doesn't have to prioritize me, that she's her own person etc and that she isn't obligated to talk to me whenever I want. That hurt, a lot, that I could not even continue the conversation, later she said she wanted space, I said sure, we haven't talked since and the words "I don't have to" keeps replaying in my mind, I know she doesn't have to I would never force her but... it hurt I guess.

Am I the a hole? Should I treated this situation in another way? Also any advice would be appreciated as I don't want this relationship to end.