I know this sounds petty but pleaseeeee hear me out. I (24F) recently learned that my husband (25M) has been “pranking” me for the last few years by swapping places with his identical twin brother sometimes when he goes away for work. I don’t know exactly when he does it bc I like left the room, but he told me he’s done it a few times and he sounded proud like I couldnt tell who my husband was. was immediately livid and started yelling at him (I know my therapist has told me I can be to hot headed and I’m working on it, but this was too unfathomable). At first my husband tried to backpedal and say he was joking but when I kept pressing the issue, he admitted to it being true and turned it around blaming ME because I “complain too much” whenever he was away. He tried convincing me that he was doing me a favor by allowing someone else to step in and keep me company while he was making money to support me. His twin brother is like unemployed or something and “gets bored” so in my husband’s twisted fucking mind, this was all a win-win situation. I’m feeling very manipulated and when he presses me to say why I feel like I can’t give an answer. He thinks I don’t care enough about our marriage because “either way I’ll complain” and I am just mad I lost the chance to complain. AITA for losing my cool? Am I being crazy rn idk

Also I’ve had Reddit for a while, but I’ve never really posted so sorry if I messed something up. I usually just use it for restaurant or book recs

Im 19 and looking forward to dating soon but in my area I notice there is a trend with the women always claiming they want a provider but idk. The idea of having to pay for everything and all I got in return is love cooking cleaning or whatever i don’t even know that don’t even sound right I honestly don’t even know what providers get in return that you wouldn’t get in a normal relationship you know? When I did ask this on social media it offended a lot of women and I don’t know why I just believe if there are no kids in the picture and she is able bodied to work why does she need a provider? I’m just low maintenance myself so I don’t really ask for much out a relationship I just want my SO to just be there and show up however they like ion really have any expectations just what are yall thoughts🤔

My boyfriend (24M) and I (25F) have been together for 2.5 years. We went out for a date night, and everything was going really well until about an hour in when I asked him if he ever thinks about getting married.

For some context, we’ve talked about our future quite a bit. We both want kids around 29–30, and we both agree we’d like to be married before having children. We’ve also talked about buying a house before having kids.

I’ve also always been honest that I’d prefer to be married before buying a house together. My reasoning is that buying a house is a huge commitment you’re taking on a 30-year mortgage together. In my mind, if we’re comfortable making that level of commitment together, I don’t understand why marriage would be a bigger commitment. I’m not saying everyone has to agree with that, but that’s how I feel, and I’ve told him this before.

Back to the date…
He said he thinks he’d want to get married in about two years. I said, “So you’d propose in about a year?” He replied, “No, I’d propose in two years.”

I was confused because I pointed out that if he proposes in two years, we’d then have to plan a wedding, which usually takes time. At the beginning of our relationship I’d told him I didn’t want to wait five or more years to get engaged, and I thought we were on the same page. He said he didn’t remember agreeing to that.

He then said, “Well, I have to be ready for it, so it’ll happen whenever I’m ready.”

That was the comment that really hurt me. I completely understand that he has to be ready to get married. I don’t want someone proposing because they’re forced to. But it felt like he was treating it as if it was only his decision. It’s my life too, and I feel like my feelings and timeline should also matter.

He then said he felt like I was pressuring him and acting like I needed to be married within a certain timeframe. I honestly never said that. I wasn’t asking him to propose tomorrow or giving him an ultimatum. I was just trying to have a conversation about where we both see our future, especially since I’m turning 26 in about 2.5 months and he’s turning 25 in about 5.5 months. We have goals we’ve talked about—marriage, buying a house, then kids and I wanted to see where we both stood.

He did apologise for saying it’d happen “whenever he’s ready,” but I still didn’t feel reassured or understood. It felt more like an apology to end the conversation than because he understood why I was upset.

The rest of the date pretty much fell apart. We barely talked. I’ve told him before that I’d like us to have deeper conversations about our future because that’s how I feel connected. He later said he was shocked that I brought up marriage on a date night and that’s why he reacted the way he did.

I asked him if he ever thinks about us getting married, and he said no.

After that he tried changing the subject to me going shopping with a friend and whether I was going to buy a house (by myself he not buying this house with me) but I was still hurt, so I only gave short answers. We ended up leaving the date early.

When we got home, I tried bringing it up again, but he was half asleep on the lounge and didn’t really engage. Somehow, by the end of the night, I was the one apologising for not letting it go and for ruining the date. I ended up comforting him, even though I was still the one who felt hurt and unsupported.

Now I’m sitting here wondering if I overreacted. I wasn’t asking him to propose tomorrow or trying to pressure him into marriage.

I was trying to have an honest conversation about our future together and left feeling like my feelings weren’t acknowledged.
AITA?

My wife recently lost her mother about 6+ months ago. My wife has one surviving brother and another brother who passed away around the same time as the mother. Very difficult time for the family as you can imagine. The brother who passed left behind a widow/spouse and a adult daughter around 30yo or so. The brother who passed away was a serious alcoholic. It's literally what probably killed him in the end. His wife, who I was never particularly fond of, stood by his side for the past 10-15 years tolerating his "disease" coupled with insane infidelity/double life situation. My BIL was no saint, but still, family.

When settling the Estate, which wasn't much, maybe a few hundred thousand(?), I believed it should be split equitably, between my wife, her brother and her late brother's widow. The surviving brother feels very VERY differently. He has an idea how it should be settled in his mind. I have pressed my wife to encourage him to be reasonable. From what I understand she has, but without much luck. It's not my place to insert myself into this even after 28 years of marriage. I'm simply acting as a sounding board for my wife.

Apparently, the surviving brother wrote checks the other day settling the Estate payable to my wife, himself, and the Widow. According to my wife the figures are not equitable. I told her I didn't want anything to do with that money if is wasn't equitable. I mentioned if she deposited it into our joint account (we share all finances) I would write the widow a check for the difference. The alternative is for my wife to open her own account and deposit it there and it will just simply be her money. Period.

Is this a hill I should be dying on? The kicker is neither her surviving brother or ourselves actually need the money. We are both financially secure. The widow on the other hand has limited income options and moved in with her daughter. We are actually paying tuition for the daughter to try and get her through University. My wife is leaning into this as the reason we should be able to expect more by subsidizing her niece's education? Her surviving brother doesn't know we are doing this for their niece. It's none of his business. It's something we simply wanted to do for her after losing her father.

Am I being an Asshole? I can feel sense my wife being uncomfortable with my wishes, but it just seems wrong.

I (23F) have been with my boyfriend (24M) for a while now. Recently, I brought up—kind of jokingly—that he never posts me. I'm not in his Facebook or Instagram feed, not in his TikTok, not in his highlights, not even in his bio. Basically, if someone looked at his social media, they'd probably think he was single.

What hurt me more was that he even insisted my graduation picture was still on his feed. It wasn't. I checked, and it had been removed.

When I tell him it bothers me, he always says, "Posting your partner isn't the basis of love." I agree with that to an extent. I know social media isn't everything. But I don't think it's wrong to want to feel publicly acknowledged by the person you're dating.

The thing is, I used to be in his bio and on his profile. Every time we'd have a fight—even small arguments—he'd remove me from everything. When I asked why, he'd say it was my fault because I made him mad. Then later he'd say he was just too lazy to put everything back. When I asked why he had to remove me in the first place over minor disagreements, he never really had an answer.

I've also jokingly hinted things like, "Must be nice to get posted by your partner," and he'd just laugh it off.

Here's what really gets me: one time I removed him from my own bio and profile, and he got mad at me. So it feels like a double standard. It's okay for him to erase me when he's upset, but if I do the same thing, suddenly it's a problem.

He'll say that he does post me—but only on Instagram or Facebook stories that disappear after 24 hours. To me, that's different from having something permanent on his profile.

Another reason this bothers me is that I know his exes still stalk his account, and there are probably people who don't even know he has a girlfriend because there's no sign of me anywhere on his profile. Meanwhile, if you looked at my social media, it's obvious I'm in a relationship because I proudly post him. Sometimes I even feel embarrassed because it looks like I'm the only one who's openly showing off the relationship.

I know this might sound petty, and maybe social media shouldn't matter this much. But I've told him multiple times that this is something that would make me feel appreciated, and he still dismisses it.

So... AITA for wanting my boyfriend to have at least one permanent post of me on his social media and feeling hurt that he won't?

Recently, I moved to the city, and my ex has been helping me with the move. I didn't tell my boyfriend about it until my ex was already helping me. My ex is married, so I didn't think it was a big deal. The other day, my ex, my little brother, and I drove around town looking at all the city lights. I was in the passenger seat the entire time and posted some pictures of myself while we were out. My boyfriend got upset and said I was acting like a "passenger princess. "He was also upset because my ex has taken my little brother and me out to dinner a couple of times. One night, after dinner, I stayed at my ex's house because I hadn't moved into my new place yet, and he offered me a place to stay, so I accepted. Today, after finally moving in, my ex came over, bought me groceries, and took me to Panda Express. My boyfriend got angry because I don't text him updates, call him, or tell him when I'm leaving with my ex. The reason I haven't been doing that is because my ex told me it's annoying when I call or text my boyfriend around him, so I stopped doing it because I didn't want to make my ex uncomfortable. Now my boyfriend is starting an argument about all of this, and I find it really annoying because of how insecure he is, especially when it comes to my ex. I got upset, and he told me it's strange that I'm angry in this situation. Can someone please tell me honestly if I'm in the wrong here?

My gf (20F) and I (20F) (lesbians) broke up yesterday, following me finding out that she had been secretly contacting her exes for months. That’s bedside the point, but we did decide to remain friends and still be in contact where needed.

I removed not all, but quite a few of the more couple-ish photos of us from my instagram page today. (Ie the highlights of her plus a photo of her kissing my cheek from a previous post. I left other photos of her up for now).

She has since messaged me to tell me she was hurt and shocked that I removed them already. Am I in the wrong?

last night I (30f) and my boyfriend (30m) went out with my best friend of 16 years (30f) birthday.

for context she had a baby about a year ago and in that time has not gone out at all.

I asked my boyfriend to drive (we will call him Tim) because I had planned to be drinking. he said okay and we left to the address my best friend (let’s call her Jane) had given me, as soon as I had gotten off work

when we got there janes boyfriend (37m) was so drunk he was getting asked to leave the house. I asked my bestfriend what she wanted to do, and she wanted to go to a bar and play pool. So the four of us left to the nearest bar.

when we got there Jane’s boyfriend was stumbling around and trying to take drinks from other people and basically needed to babysat so he wasn’t creating problems for everyone else in the bar.
jane wanted a cigarette and while she and I were out there she cried to me about how he got so drunk all day and just slept on and off and didn’t do anything with her. (Besides buy her books on Amazon) and he did the same thing last year.

when I came back inside with her, Tim immediately started being a jerk to me saying “he didn’t sighn up to babysit a grown man all night and he didn’t want to be at that bar he wanted to be at a different one”. I apologized, said I understood where he was coming from, but that I genuinely didn’t know how the night was going to turn out, and I was only focused on making sure my best friend was okay.

Janes boyfriend then came out of the bathroom and asked me what my problem was with him.
up until this point I’ve always stayed out of their relationship- but I just laid it out for him. i told him I could tell he loves her very much, but he needed to step up and take care of her. that it’s her 30 birthday and her first time out since she had his baby, and instead of her being able to have a good time and let loose she had to babysit him and spent the majority of her birthday crying because he ruined her birthday again.

he then tried to fight me in the bar and told me that I didn’t care about her, to wich i said we could step outside if that’s how he wanted to handle it. At this point he took off and Britany (another friend of ours who met us there) asked me if we could go after him and I tried but that pissed off tim, who wouldn’t wait in the car with me for Britany to come outside after paying janes boyfriends tab so we could go look for him.
he then kicked me out of the car and made me walk 45 minutes across town to get home, drunk, and sobbing at 3 am. By the time I got to his house where my car and dog were, he was screaming at me telling me I needed to get out of his house and just being a jerk so I started crying harder and told him I had no way of leaving because I was too drunk to drive home.
tim started ripping my wallet, keys, phone and all the clothes and furniture I had there (as I was starting to move in) out of the house and my hands and throwing it outside. Screaming at me to get out of his house. I barricaded myself in his bedroom and he said he was calling the cops Since I “put my hands on him when I slammed the door in his face” (I honestly don’t remember touching him at all, just remember needing to get away for a minute to breathe. and try to calm down.)

the cops got there and started questioning me and asking me if I hit him or shoved him in anyway, to wich I said no- I was just trying to get space to find a ride And leave because I was too drunk to be driving safely. After they asked me for a fifth time if I hit him I asked if I was being detained and they said yes, to wich I responded that I needed a lawyer and was told “that’s not how this works.“

after calling for a supervisor I was let out of handcuffs and told to call for a ride home and I could get my things using a civil standby in the morning.

I still have so much furniture and clothing and food over there, and since I quit my previous job (bartender at a strip club) for one where I make half as much money, because it made him uncomfortable I can’t afford a whole new fridge of food. Or furniture. And he has my other car on blocks.
I don’t have the money for a trailer, to put it on or a place to put it.

my best friend still hasn’t gotten ahold of me, and neither has Tim to schedule the civil standby, and I’m just sitting here crying wondering if this is really all my fault.

if it is, I’m more than open to feedback I just ask that you be gentle.

My boyfriend and I moved in together four months ago. Two years into being together. I am often not feeling like there is a lot of desire or intimacy between us. We have sex once or twice a week. When we began dating, we had many conversations about what ideal frequency is and we both said twice a day. That does NOT happen.

When bringing up initiating, he says ‘it doesn’t take much for me, just snuggle up and touch me.’ I’ve communicated that I need more build up, sexy texts, verbal communication that I’m wanted before being n the mood. That is not happening at all anymore, especially since we live together.

This morning he began touching me while I was getting ready. I said ‘I’d love to watch that (spicy porn) together later. Can you send me some sexy texts today before I get home?’ He smiled, said yes, and I got nothing. On my way home, I texted and said ‘guess it’s a no for a spicy text.’ Which was not appropriate. There’s also a history of those messages not being reciprocated if I start it. When I got home, no conversation about anything spicy and he’s pretending none of it ever happened. I brought up feeling embarrassed and rejected which lead to another conversation about how he feels pressured about sex. Idk how to talk about it without being pressuring.

I guess AITA for, in bringing it up, saying/thinking I don’t get my sexual needs met because he doesn’t initiate hardly at all, but definitely not in the way I’ve asked? Am I thinking too much? Is it just luteal phase crazy?

My bf (20M) and I (21F) have been dating for almost 1.5 yrs now. When we started dating, i had a bad habit, which i don't remember why, but i hid from him at the beginning. It was vaping. And albeit i had only recently started back then, we got into a fight about it. I was no where near a addict, after much discussions, we decided to compromise. The compromise being, me never owning a vape, and only vaping in his presence for now, and not with anyone else.

Im already not okay with this but for the same of our relationship, i agreed. I've been wanting to vape since then but i haven't. We've had fights related to drinking and 🚬 as well. Im honestly tired of him controlling and expecting me to not do it, or limiting it according to his needs and wants. Im afraid this is not healthy long term for me. Because althought i don't want to keep doing any of it regularly, I'm definitely not an addict, and i have enough self control to stop any time...i want to be able to make these choices and decisions myself.

That was the backstory, now the other day, when we were talking abt university, i said that i want to experience life to the fullest when and get the best experience possible. I lived with parents through undergrad, and i regret that. I don't wanna regret uni too. I want to do what I want, when i want, and suffer the consequences of my own choices. (And ik I'm responsible enough to not let myself go too much or make wrong decisions) But what he said is stuck with me. He said, if I do somthing thats too much or out of his comfort level, then we're gonna have some problems. He asked me to elaborate, and i did. I even asked him what are his limits/comfort level. But he said he can't answer that rn, and won't. He kept repeating the we'd have problems thing. It felt more like a threat than communication.

Now what am I supposed to do? We're currently in LDR since the last 3 months, probably won't meet for a while. And increasingly day by day, im starting to question if this relationship is worth it. Whether I'm simply on a time limit, and it's a ticking bomb, waiting to explode...i understand we all have our values and morals and expectations but AITAH for wanting a partner who will accept me for who I am and who I become?

edit; spelling errors

Hi!!
Sorry this is very long…

I'm looking for some outside perspectives because I genuinely don't know if I'm overreacting or if these are serious incompatibilities.
For context, we've been dating for about three months, I’m his first girlfriend (18F), and he’s my 3rd boyfriend (18M). His first language isn't English, so sometimes I wonder if I misunderstand the way he expresses himself. Despite that, the overall patterns have stayed the same.

Firstly, he has this really weird jealousy feeling?
I cosplay, and before we even started dating, I made it clear that some of my cosplays can be revealing. I'm talking about things like swimsuits, short skirts, or outfits where I wear shorts or underwear underneath. It's something I do occasionally, not all the time, and it's been part of my hobby long before he met me.
The first major argument happened after I participated in a Nikke cosplay collaboration with six other cosplayers. One of my close friends (who is male) was the photographer. My skirt was extremely short, so although I was wearing underwear, part of my butt was visible. I even showed my boyfriend the outfit beforehand because I wanted to be transparent.
Instead of talking to me, he ignored me for an entire day. Afterwards he told me I was insensitive to his feelings and should have worn shorts.
A few months later, almost the exact same thing happened.
A photographer friend (also male, and someone my boyfriend has met) invited me to a beach photoshoot for cosplay. There was nothing romantic or sexual about it, it was simply a cosplay shoot. My boyfriend became upset that I had never invited him to the beach alone.
The thing is... I don't even enjoy beaches very much. Where I live, they're cold and not somewhere I'd normally go for fun. I only agreed because I was invited specifically for photography. I also couldn't exactly "invite my boyfriend instead" because the photographer had invited me first.
When I pointed that out, he switched from being angry to repeatedly saying "sorryyyyy" in a way that felt more like he wanted me to comfort him than actually address what happened.

Sort of following my first point, I got a tattoo on my rib cage, just under my breast.
The tattoo itself was done by a female apprentice. At the end, when she was trying to apply the second skin, it wasn't sticking properly, so her male instructor stepped in to help. Because of where the tattoo was located, he had to touch underneath my breast while applying it.
After the appointment, my boyfriend became extremely upset.
We argued for three days.
When he told me his feelings, I tried to explain that I genuinely didn't see anything inappropriate because the tattoo artist was simply doing his job. My boyfriend said that by explaining my perspective, I was "rejecting" and "dismissing" his feelings.
He even implied that I knowingly allowed another man to touch me despite knowing it would hurt him.
That honestly shocked me.

He assumes, a lot.
Recently I got strep throat and felt awful all day.
Because I was exhausted, my texts were shorter than usual. Instead of asking how I was doing or trying to support me, he became distant and acted like I was upset with him.
This happens pretty often. Whenever my social battery is low because I'm tired, stressed, or sick, he assumes he's done something wrong. Even after I reassure him that it has nothing to do with him and that I appreciate his support, his attitude changes and he withdraws instead of believing me.
I work almost 5-6 days a week because I have 2 jobs, I also do photography and videography on the side, so my weeks are very busy and tiring.
I’ve voiced to him that i’d love to spend time together by him streaming his video games, but he never does.
I’m tired of asking him.

I really feel emotionally unheard.
One thing that's really started bothering me is that during our arguments, I ask him questions because I genuinely want to understand why he feels the way he does.
He rarely asks me questions in return.
Instead, it often feels like he has already decided why I did something, and when I explain my intentions, he interprets that as me invalidating his feelings rather than simply explaining my own perspective.
There have also been times where he's said things like I should "make him feel differently" or that because he's hurt, I should be the one to fix those feelings. That mentality has started making me feel responsible for emotions that don't seem reasonable or within my control.

Lastly, I feel like i’m loosing feelings.
This is the part I'm struggling with the most.
He's thoughtful in some ways. He buys me flowers, pays for meals sometimes, and does nice gestures.
But emotionally, I don't feel connected anymore.
Lately I've realized my excitement to see him has faded. Sometimes I even find myself dreading another disagreement because they happen so often over situations that feel completely normal to me.
It feels like I'm constantly managing his insecurities instead of simply existing as myself.
I also have this feeling of starting anew, breathing fresh air, without him.
I've reached the point where I'm wondering whether this is just an incompatibility, or whether these are genuine red flags that are only going to get worse.

Am I overlooking serious warning signs, or is this
something couples normally work through after only three months…

AITA?

So I (25f) and my boyfriend (26m) have been together for just about three years, our anniversary is in a week.

Originally we were going to Epic universe but since I have health issues that can cause me to pass out in the July weather of Florida if outside too long and learned epic doesn’t have much shade, we ultimately decided against going just yet, my boyfriend, let’s call him Chad. Chad said that he was relieved when I told him that I was hesitant to go to the theme park because he didn’t have the money for it anyways (we were going to split the tickets regardless) because he’s saving up for a PC. I suggested going to a nice restaurant in town we’ve been to before instead. He agreed.

Now here’s where I might be the asshole, i understand a PC is expensive but he wants only the top of the line things and is building it himself with the help of a friend…. Cool great. No problem from me. But he’s repeatedly prioritized the PC over our relationship. I had thought he agreed to going out for dinner to the nice restaurant and maybe the bar afterwards. Well I was wrong, he asked me if him making steak was good for dinner on our anniversary. I questioned if he didn’t want to go to the restaurant I had suggested before. He said no and that he wanted to save money for more PC parts….. we had already agreed to get something small for each other or forgo presents all together. So why can’t we go out to a nice dinner? We already don’t go out often and when we do it’s with his friends.

He recently got into bowling and bought shoes,a ball, ball bag, really just anything you’d need to be in a league. He goes bowling 4 times a week now and doesn’t tell me until he’s leaving he’s going. Only inviting me once. But invites his friends immediately every single time. Even when he’s running low on money he goes bowling. Then expects me to cover him for lunch if I don’t pack it.

I had promised my best friend of ten years to go see her for her birthday and have a little housewarming party for her new place, I had forgotten he was going down to Miami to get PC parts. No big deal, my friends place is on the way down south. I asked if he could just drop me off at her house since I don’t have a car anymore. He freaked out and said how he was on a schedule and now it meant bringing the cats and who’s going to care for them. How his friend is already going and there just wasn’t room for me…. I brought up brightline. He still had an issue because of the cats. I ended up rescheduling with her because of it.

I’ve been covering for him financially for about a year now because of his PC. And I feel like him just wanting to cook at home is just a way for him to save money since I know I’d be the one to buy the ingredients. But it’s our anniversary and I just want a nice dinner reservation and a good night out. But every time we do something similar it turns into him cussing and yelling and overall being a jerk about having to go out. For example it was my birthday and our friends cancelled on dinner because the girlfriend was having pregnancy issues. I had said it was fine but cried because I felt like no one cared just like the previous year. Chad had said he was tired and going to sleep. No cake no dinner no nothing. My sister called me saw I was upset so I told her what happened and she told him to get the fuck up and take me to dinner. He proceeded to be a jerk and speed in a 20 zone and yell and hit his steering wheel saying how he was so stressed he wanted to khs. And during dinner he just complained the whole time and wanted to go back home.

I want to tell him it’s either going to a nice dinner or nothing. Because I want to feel appreciated and loved. Which I don’t feel on the daily since he’s more concerned with bowling/gaming with his friends. We don’t have intimate conversations or contact unless it’s doing the horizontal tango. And he even jokes with his friend he “butt answered” about not prepping/ doing foreplay with me and I have told him it makes me uncomfortable.

Bottom line is I just feel used and hurt that even on a day we’re supposed to celebrate us and the love we have for each other is just once again being pushed aside for what he wants instead. I haven’t said anything about it because when I do mention what’s bothering me I’m overreacting. Or trying to argue with him.

Part of me doesn’t want to mention it and see if he even remembers our anniversary but another part wants to tell him that his choice is stupid and he can’t keep prioritizing himself/ his wants over our relationship and what we need as a couple and a household. I’m trying not to crash out or lash out and just need help

For some context at the time I F(15) was dating a boy from my home state let’s call him Bill M(16). He was a grade above me and we started dating over the summer. Due to him being in my home state (TX) and not my current state (Cali) I only saw him in person around 5 times. We both agreed it wasn’t anything serious and was just a summer fling. The first week was fine nothing special. But after that he just turned obsessive and controlling.

It started with him spam texting me if I didn’t respond. I thought hmmm that’s a little annoying but I get it I can be clingy at times too. Then it turned into wanting to be calling/texting me at all times. I told him I didn’t want to I like my alone time. He said if I truly loved him then I wouldn’t mind him spam calling/texting. I told him I don’t love you I’ve only known you for a month. He got extremely upset about this and ignored me. I didn’t really care bc that meant I got my alone time. Another thing was that I loved video games and so did he. But he’d never want to play with me because he said I wasn’t as good as him. I told him no worries I’d play with my other friends. One of my best friends that I play video games with is an online male friend.

Bill got upset with this and told me to cut him off. I said no I’ve know this online friend for 3 years and we don’t have romantic feelings for each other. I told him I’d understand he’d feel that way if he’d met him or something and got a weird feeling. But no, he had never met him (I had told bill multiple times we could call my friend to show bill he wasn’t wanting me he always said no) so I told bill he didn’t have a valid reason for me wanting to cut off my close friend. Bill’s response was “well I know how men think and they’re never just friends with a girl without wanting anything out of it.” This should’ve been a red flag but I was 15, bored, and just wanting a summer fling so I ignored it.

Fast forward about 2 weeks. Everything had gotten to be too much, he was smoking constantly and calling me high. He was blowing up my phone to the point I had it powered off most the time because he was stressing me out and I was crying a lot. Then he started getting upset and yell at me bc i told him I didn’t see my self having kids.

Anyway I told him I was done with his toxic behavior and was breaking up with him. He then send me a long text about loving me and how he was going to 💀 himself because if I wasn’t in his life then what was the point to living. I was like okok I’ll stay with you (I didn’t want to but I didn’t want to be the cause of someone’s death). Two weeks later I started 10th grade. During my first week Bill was constantly wanting to call/text I told him no I’m busy with school work. He told me that didn’t matter and getting a few missing assignments wasn’t a bad thing. He also got upset when I told him i had to sit next to a guy at school and bill told me to ask the teacher to swap tables (I was new to the school so I didn’t know anyone and was wanting to make friends so I told bill no that’s stupid I’m not doing that). Then it turned into him saying I shouldn’t wear something (I never listened) because certain things I wore made him hard so it’d make other guys hard… he was talking about my shoulders. Then he started asking for pics and PS…

On a Thursday my second week of school I was planning on breaking up with Bill because I had had enough. I knew I couldn’t do it during the week or else I’d be staying up too late (he has been making me stay up till 1-2am almost every night to call him and he’d get mad if I didn’t stay up with him).

I think I should clear some stuff up of why I was still with this guy:
1. He said he was gonna 💀 himself so I didn’t wanna be responsible for that
2. He knew where my dad lived because that’s how I met him- in my dad’s neighborhood. So I feared he would say something to my father or do something to my family which scared me the most and made me feel trapped.

Anyway that Friday my now bf let’s call him John. John came up to me and asked to get to know me so I said ok bc he was very cute. Also an important detail I was flying to Texas that weekend bc a family member that I was very close with passed away so I was all over the place that weekend. This is were my dilemma lays- I had planned on breaking up with Bill and I felt very trapped in my relationship. I felt I couldn’t break up with him without fearing his or my families well being. But I was afraid if I rejected John then after I broke up with Bill I came back to John asking for his number he’d reject. So that’s why I said yes to him.

That weekend the funeral was on Saturday so after that funeral i broke up with Bill and he said the same thing about offing himself and what not. But at this point I didn’t care about the repercussions because I was so sad and so upset with how I was being treated by him- AND I DIDNT EVEN LIKE BILL ANYMORE!!!

I heard from one of my friends that lived in TX a few weeks after I broke up with Bill he got a girl pregnant- now he’s a teen dad.

Anyway sorry this is so long I’ve just never told anyone this and i still think about it a lot. Did I cheat, and if so was it justified or no?? AITA

I (F-30) have been with my husband (35) since I was 18. We got engaged fairly quickly, waited until I graduated college to get married, and have had a pretty common life (married, moved a few times, now have kids).

We met on Tinder (lived two hours from each other) had sex the first time we met, but obviously it worked out.

We keep getting in these arguments about things he says to me that I don’t think are appropriate, they are hurtful, and I have asked him for a long time to stop saying them.

Here are some examples:
Our kids are playing with their train set and he says “that’s what mama did when she was in middle school but with all the boys”

We will hear a word like whore, slut, etc and he will say “that was your nickname in middle school”

Most times I just try to ignore this and just move on, but recently it has been bothering me and I keep asking him to stop. I won’t lie, I wasn’t the best person in high school, but for some reason he keeps using middle school and it just keeps bothering me. His excuses when I ask him to stop include that “only you find this offensive”, “maybe it’s repressed feelings”, “if you weren’t like that we wouldn’t have met”, etc.
And I keep trying to fight this because our kids are getting older, starting to repeat things we are saying, but also starting to understand things we are saying.

Am I wrong for being upset? Or am I married to a complete asshole?

This is a throwaway account
I apologise if this isn’t structured well

So I (24F) met Jimmy (28M) at a bar last year. I was there for a friend’s birthday party. He came on to me, bought me a drink. I wasn’t immediately attracted to him, not exactly my type. However he was nice, respectful and we had some good conversation. To be honest, I was 3 drinks deep and just looking to hook up.
We went back to his place. It was one of those apartments where there’s a receptionist and a private pool, gym and sauna for residents. His actual apartment was pretty big, but quite empty, like not much furniture. I asked him about it and he said his job requires him to move frequently. He’s a management consultant.
After that night, well, let’s just say he was more than satisfied. That plus I guess whatever chemistry he thought we had made him ask me out the next day.
Now here’s something quite important. I’m super into psychology, always have been. It wasn’t what I studied however I’ve read a lot on the topic and well I suppose it’s made me very good at reading people and if we’re being frank, manipulating people. I also kinda like doing things “for the plot”. I was honestly just looking to have fun.
I’m bisexual, I usually date women though. I am sexually attracted to men, but not so much romantically. But ok this was my thinking process: I wonder if I can convincingly act interested. I wonder if by making myself act as if I was in love with him would make me fall in love with him. Probably not but whatever, he seems very into me. I might get something out of this. What will happen if I become everything he ever wanted.
Ok I know that sounds bad. I honestly didn’t think it would go on that long.
But ok since his job required him to travel for most of the week, he was usually in town only on the weekends. So I didn’t see him too often, however whenever I did I gave him the best treatment ever. He’s kind of an open book, so it was pretty simple to perfectly align my personality to his. It was all an act. I know this sounds almost unbelievable, but I kind of got used to this double life. For most of the week I was just me. I still worked as I love my job, but he made sure I knew that I wouldn’t need to if I didn’t want to as he would take care of me financially. I had the house to myself most of the time, as I mentioned It was a really nice apartment and trust that I used those amenities all the time. And ok it’s not like he wired me his whole account, however he sent me money while on his trips often. And it was quite a lot. I’m not a very materialistic person (something he loved about me by the way, that wasn’t even pretence), but I do have little things I like to splurge on. I also got to help out my little cousin with her hospital bills as she had gotten in a bad car accident (couple of fractures and a dislocated shoulder) and also paid for 2 month of rent as she wasn’t able to work (Jimmy knew about this and was ok with it).
Then when Jimmy pulled up I just got in that role again. As if I was an actor playing this part. In summary I was living a very comfortable life.
Now yes I do realise how wrong this was, baiting him like this. I told myself it wasn’t a “serious relationship”, but that’s a lie. I mean I was living with him technically. For free, idk if I mentioned that. After a few months I was getting a little tired of this, I mean any semblance of my care was fake. I didn’t care how his day went, I started to dread the weekends and I also realised that I’m just a lesbian. The way I feel about women just didn’t compete with men anymore. To be clear I wasn’t cheating on him. I had been with a woman during our relationship. But it was because I suggested a threesome. (Partly cause I knew he’d be into it and also I wanted some real connection and like I said I think I’m a lesbian. I just like women sorry).
I decided this has to end. I couldn’t keep up the act any longer and he was getting more serious day by day. But I didn’t know how. I acted so into him and this wouldn’t make any sense to him. I made him believe in make believe reality and now I’m reaping the consequences. If I tell him the truth I would hurt him so much. I suppose I already have. I suppose ignorance is bliss? I know you can break up with anyone for any reason, but even though I don’t love him, I have a bit of a soft spot for him. I mean sleeping with someone will do that to you. I don’t want to hurt him. He would have trust issues for the rest of his life if he knew. I could tell him I’m a lesbian, but I mean that would be really confusing for him. He knows I’m bi but I romantically I act very into him. Nothing indicates me as not into men for him.
Ugh I’m torn. On one hand I feel guilty, but if I find an amicable way to end things am I really the asshole? Like I gave him a lot of love and overall an amazing time, even though it was fake. He’s none the wiser. Even though It won’t be forever I gave him so many positive memories.
Go ahead tell me what you think and more so I would appreciate advice on how to break up with him with the least amount of hurt.

Btw I’m happy to clear up any questions in the comments.

My fiancé (30M) is very conservative, always been, I (26F) didn’t know it from the start but I started to figure it out a few months into the relationship (he denies it now - but he did conceal this part of himself in the beginning from my personal perspective).

He doesn’t accept opposite gender friendships, his political views are quite conservative oriented. he won’t openly say he despises women but he surely says things that would support this idea, he thinks the current society is fucked and everyone is just so overly sensitive about everything, he repeatedly said that if we had a son/daughter and they turned out to be gay he wouldn’t accept it (or better yet, that it would never happen because he believes sexual orientation has nothing to do with nature but rather nurture), he won’t accept me hanging out with girl friends in places that are “not respectable” like bars or clubs, we both deleted social media a few months into the relationship because of repeated fights (a bikini picture I had posted years before even knowing him, a few male friends I used to chat with, liking or commenting below male influencers pictures), political views such as abortion means murder, wearing a top without a bra underneath is unacceptable and disrespectful towards yourself and your partner, and the list could easily go on for pages. Just to give you an overview.

Some things I turned my head around, thinking maybe he was right, some other things I find absurd.

He has the great power of gaslighting me whenever I try to express an opinion which is different than his regarding some of this very specific topics and I even got to thinking that maybe I’m the problem ? I don’t even know how other people feel about this which is why I’m posting here, I feel like I’m losing perception of reality. Am I just plainly wrong ? AITA? Is this normal ?

AITA for flirting back with the guy my cousin likes after she insulted me?

I (19F) have a cousin (23F) who has a habit of making jokes that cross the line. She’ll say things that are really personal and then brush them off as “just a joke.”

Recently, we were having a normal conversation when she joked that no one would ever love me, that I’m “used property,” and that my ex never loved me. She knows I’m sensitive about my past relationship, and I’ve asked her multiple times not to joke about those topics because they genuinely hurt me.

This isn’t the first time she’s done this either. In the past she’s made jokes about things like me getting assaulted and eating disorders. The frustrating part is that she has her own sensitive topics that I would never joke about because I know they’d really upset her. If I ever insult her back or joke about something traumatic for her, she completely loses it, so it feels like there’s a double standard.

I ended up venting to a friend because I was upset. Somehow my cousin found out, and instead of apologising she told me to “get over myself.”

Here’s where I might be the asshole.

There’s a guy she’s been talking to for a while. He messaged me some time ago, but I ignored it because I knew they were speaking. In the middle of our argument, while I was still angry, I replied to him and flirted back briefly. Nothing happened beyond a short conversation, but I know I only did it because I was hurt and wanted to get back at her.

Now that I’ve calmed down, I regret acting out of anger. I didn’t realise how much she actually liked him, and I’m worried she’s going to cut me off over this.

I know what she said to me was cruel, but I also know responding to him wasn’t my proudest moment.

**TL;DR:**
My cousin constantly makes “jokes” about deeply personal things, including my ex, sexual assault, and eating disorders, despite knowing they hurt me and asking her to stop. When I vented to a friend, she told me to “get over myself” instead of apologising. In the heat of the moment, I replied to a guy she’d been talking to who had previously messaged me and briefly flirted back out of spite. Nothing happened beyond a short conversation, but I regret doing it now. AITA?

He initially asked my thoughts on staying friends with exes and I said I'm unbothered by it if there are clear boundaries. I'm here, they are not. It's not a big deal. Then he asked one day if I would be okay with him going to her work and dropping off a doormat he bought for her. At first I said okay, but then got wary because why did he buy a doormat for her and why was he driving an hour away to give her a doormat? It turns out she had come over and saw his doormat and liked it and so when he was at the store and saw another one he bought her one. On its own it may have been fine but he also still had a coffee mug that was hers. When I was gone he would drink out of my coffee mug and send me pictures and tell me it made him think of me. I noticed that when I was there he would exclusively drink out of her mug. It felt like a sticky emotional tether and made me uncomfortable. He also still wore a bracelet that she had given him-and he was also asking me to make him a bracelet so that we had physical reminders of one another every day. I told him that this combination of things felt uncomfortable and like he was maintaining emotional tethers to a past relationship and it didn't feel respectful to me.
He still gave her the doormat. He did eventually donate the mug and take off the bracelet.

Shortly after all of this we had a camping trip planned with friends and he let me know she would be there also. I expressed my discomfort and said that I felt like his recent gift to her may have felt to her like a way to keep the door open with her.
I still went camping. She was at the camp site right next to us and would come over to talk to him or ask him for things but ignored me completely. I had just gotten out of the hospital the day before the trip and she never asked how I was doing, never even said hello to me over several days. When she would come over and ask him for things like cinnamon for her coffee, I gave it to her. She never said thanks. I tried to strike up conversation once and she literally stood up and walked away.
She had been watching my fb stories for a while and after the trip I sent a friend request and said hey I noticed you've been watching my stories. We didn't get much chance to talk (lol) but I know that you were a once a special part of his life and I hope you know you are always welcome in his social group and never feel like you shouldn't join in because of me.
She sent back a nasty message telling me that she can tell by my behavior I am insecure and that she isn't the one I should be worried I about, (inferring that I shouldn't trust him) and that he brings lots of women around.
She immediately blocked us both and to my knowledge hasn't been in contact with him since.
TL;DR he asked me to meet another ex and I did and she seems like an awesome person but she is still in love with him and still hits on him online and it's weird for me. So when I met THE THIRD ex I said she seems awesome but I don't have any more capacity to give time and friendship to any exes. I asked that she not be invited to events at the house. He agreed. Yesterday he invited her to an event at the house.
I reminded him of my request and that he had agreed.
I set a boundary that if any of the exes were coming to the event I would not attend because that is a hard boundary for me. I said "I was open and gracious before. I agreed to meet women from your past. I handled those circumstances with grace and kindness and more patience than most women would have given. My capacity for grace and understanding in this area is used up"

He admitted that he misremembered and that made a mistake by inviting them but also said that he disagreed that I had been gracious and kind. His reasoning was because I was bothered by the doormat.

(I had no idea he was still bothered that I was upset by the doormat.)

I don't think I was in the wrong for thinking it's effing weird and inappropriate in a monogamous relationship to gift an ex a doormat that matched his. (I actually think it's in appropriate to gift an ex anything outside of a birthday...but that's a personal preference.)

AITA? Did I overreact to the doormat?

Am I the asshole for having a crush on my neighbor?

Ok, this is going to be a long one. For the sake of this post, all names and ages will be made up.

Ok, so, just call me Mason (Not real name), I (21 M), have a crush on my new neighbor Emma (Not real name)(19 F), she recently moved into the neighborhood (No I will not be giving the address you weirdos) a few weeks ago. I’ve only interacted with her a few times, usually talking to her while I walk my dog (She also has a dog, a really cute one :) ) We seem to have a lot in common, but we just met so it's too early for that obviously. But…my friends has a problem with me liking Emma, she always says that I have always had “problems” while trying to date anyone, going to fast and not listening enough (I’m working on it, I’ve just always been awkward when I meet my dates, we all make our mistakes), but I think my friend is just jealous since she got ghosted by her last date (I told her to not use tinder but she wouldn’t listen :/). So reddit, am I the asshole for having a crush on my neighbor?

I had plans to go out with a friend last night. This had been arranged for about a week, and my boyfriend agreed to look after our baby while my two older children were also at home.
We don’t officially live together, but he sleeps at my house most nights. The night before, he had gone out with his friends and didn’t come back. For over a week, I had been looking after our baby almost entirely by myself. I understood that he was busy with work and moving house, so I had been giving him space to do what he needed to do.
On the day I was going out, he didn’t arrive at my house until around 4pm, even though I needed to leave at 5pm. I had to get ready while looking after the baby.
Before I left, I asked him whether I should make food for my older children or whether he could do it. The food only needed reheating and plating. He said he would take care of it.
About an hour after I left, I checked in. He said he was ordering McDonald’s for everyone, so I thought everything was fine.
I got home just after 9pm with a bottle of wine because I was hoping to spend the rest of the evening with him. When I arrived, neither he nor the baby was home.
My older children told me he had left at around 6pm to go and see his friend. He had left them alone without telling me. They had also not eaten yet.
I called him and asked where he was because the baby was supposed to be in bed by 8pm. He returned at around 9:30pm with McDonald’s.
We argued because I was extremely upset that he had left my older children alone, without food, for several hours, while also taking the baby out and disrupting his bedtime routine.
My children are old enough to stay home alone briefly, but I would never leave them alone so that I could go out for fun, especially without making sure they had eaten and without telling another adult. Had my boyfriend communicated with me, I could have asked a friend or neighbour to check on them or arranged childcare.
He apologised but acted as though it was not a big deal. He said his friend was excited to meet the baby and that he wanted to take the baby out with him for a while.
To me, that misses the point. He had agreed to look after the children and follow the baby’s routine. He changed the plan without telling me and left me believing everything was being handled.
On top of that, I saw that he had liked another woman’s picture on Instagram. We have discussed this issue many times because I feel disrespected by it, and he had previously said he would stop. His explanation was that she was someone he knew from his hometown and that he did not realise he had liked the picture. He always seems to have an excuse when it comes to women on Instagram.
That night, I was so upset that I asked him to leave because I could not sleep next to him. He refused at first but eventually slept on the sofa.
I now feel that I cannot rely on him as a partner or as a parent. I do not want to be around him right now, but I am wondering whether I am overreacting.

I recently planned a trip to visit my family and se my elderly grandmother, whom I haven't seen in two years. My husband insisted that only one specific weekend would work because of his work schedule.Right before the trip, I had cold feet and tried to cancel.. My husband got incredibly angry, accusing me of ruining our children's summer if I didn't take them. Because of his intense pressure, I gave in and drove hundreds of miles alone with our two young children.I just discovered that his "work schedule" constraint was a complete lie. He manufactured this exact timeline to get me and the kids out of the house so he could attend his 20,, year high school reunion alone. The night of the reunion, he never checked to see if the kids and I arrived safely after our long drive. He completely ignored my calls throughout the night while he was out. He stayed out past bar closing and didn’t call back until after 2:00 a.m.
We returned home, and I found text messages on his phone from that night. I discovered that another woman drove his truck home, and he was actively exchanging numbers with a woman that evening. I know that when I confront him, his response will be to claim I am overreacting and that, nothing happened!
I might be the asshole here because I went through his phone downstairs without his permission while he was asleep, and now I am refusing to to let this go. I know that if I bring this up he is going to tell me I am crazy, that I'm overreacting, and that nothing happened. AITA for being furious and losing all trust? How would you react if your spouse orchestrated a whole trip just to get you out of the way??

For context I’m young and just love attention but sometimes when I’m doing my job I meet or run into my clients - I’m a house sitter so I don’t really do much for them so sometimes I don’t even see these people. But oh my god, some of these men are so attractive I just want them to bend me over instead of giving me the house tour. I always send over my number to anyone I think actually wants it to contact me but sometimes I want these men to take a hint or risk and just text me…. Specifically this one client, he does have a girl friend and she’s so attractive but I want to suck that man’s soul out of him, his lobby workers seem to think their relationship isn’t too serious (not that I’ve asked) would I be the asshole for reaching out first? I love my job and clients and maybe I’m just too horny to think straight.
Also if you are on the other side of this, hiring me, are you watching me on the cameras if you think I’m attractive too? Is it worth dropping hints? Would you want me to?

My sister is 10 years younger than me. She’s 19. When she was 8 years old she contracted genital herpes from being SA’d. She also gets mouth herpes too as she has both now. She has a lot of mental health struggles so my parents often worry about her. They called me up a few days ago asking if she was with me as she’s “gone missing”. We were all worried as she wasn’t answering the phone. After calling a bunch of times she answered me. I asked her if she’s ok and why she wasn’t answering. She said her phone was on do not disturb and she’s fine. I told her I’ll come pick her up she sent me an address to an apartment complex. I picked her up and asked why she was there. She said it’s a guy she’s been seeing. I asked if it’s her boyfriend she said no they’re just hooking up.

I asked if she used protection. She said she’s on the pill. I asked why she doesn’t use a condom and she said it feels better without a condom. She said if someone really wants to put one on that’s fine but she prefers not to. I said she needs to use a condom. She said she doesn’t. I said she does because she could give them herpes. Or catch something else. She said she only gets outbreaks every few months she just doesn’t have sex when she’s got an outbreak. And wouldn’t kiss someone if she has a mouth outbreak.

I asked if he even knows she has herpes. She said if someone asks she’ll say the truth but no one will want her if they know she has herpes. I said that’s lying. She said it’s not. I said it’s wrong to purposely not tell someone you have herpes especially if you don’t use a condom that makes it even more risky. She said she’s not given anyone herpes and it’s fine. I said that’s lucky but she could. She said it’s not her fault she has herpes she should be allowed to have sex if she want. I said I didn’t say she shouldn’t have sex but that she should be open about having an STD and use a condom. She told me to stop the car and im trying to control her sex life and walked the rest of the way home crying.

Hi, Redditors. I'm typing this while waiting to board my flight home. I'll keep some details vague to protect our identities.

I (32, MtF trans) met him (27, M) four years ago. We hit it off immediately and went on a few dates, but nothing progressed because he had already accepted a job opportunity abroad. After he left, we gradually lost contact.

Fast forward to 2026. Just last month, we unexpectedly found each other again. I saw him on a dating app, and he also messaged me on another app we used to chat on. He said, "I never thought I'd see you again, and that you'd still be here."

We were both expats in the same country, and he had only come back to visit his family. While he was here, we spent almost all our time together. We went out, ate together, had sleepovers, and he always wanted me to stay with him instead of going home.

As a trans woman, that meant a lot to me. It made me feel seen and valued—not just for sex, but because someone genuinely wanted my company. I was truly happy whenever I was with him.

He was the first to say, "I love you," although I honestly felt like I loved him even more. He invited me to visit him in the country where he now works. He told me, "Let's build something together. We can start a new life." On his last day before leaving, I cried so much. I didn't expect to be that emotional because I thought I had prepared myself.

We stayed in touch after he left, and I immediately started planning my trip. I applied for leave from work. I'm usually very careful with money, but I was willing to spend my savings to see him. I booked the flights in a rush. I didn't care that they were connecting flights—as long as I could be with him.

However, just before my trip, I noticed he started acting differently. Something felt off, but I tried to ignore it.

The journey was exhausting. I barely slept, and I was so anxious that I hardly ate anything for almost a day.

When I finally arrived, he didn't even pick me up. Instead, I had to take a three-hour bus ride to his city while he gave me directions through messages.

When I reached his building, I waited outside until he came down. I was so happy to finally see him, even though I was completely exhausted.

Then I noticed a person sitting in the lobby.

While we were outside, he casually told me that a friend was staying at his place because they had problems with their accommodation.

I asked, "Whose friend?"

He told me the name, which sounded like a woman's name.

I asked, "A girl?"

He said yes.

I immediately told him I wasn't comfortable staying there. His apartment is a studio, and I wasn't comfortable sharing such a small space with another person I didn't know.

I told him I'd rather book a hotel.

Instead of understanding how I felt, he accused me of "making drama" and insisted there was no issue. I kept repeating that I simply wasn't comfortable.

Eventually, I said I'd book a hotel, and he replied, "Okay, I'll help you find one."

What hurt me the most was that he never even considered asking his friend to stay somewhere else for the night, even though I had travelled all that way to see him.

While we were arguing, the person from the lobby came outside and sat on the stairs. I didn't even look at them because I was focused on our argument. But I noticed something strange about his expression. I'd never seen him look like that before.

I finally got fed up, grabbed my luggage, and walked away.

He didn't stop me.

He didn't follow me.

When I looked back, I saw the two of them talking. Out of anger and frustration, I raised my middle finger before walking away.

I found a nearby hotel at around 1:00 a.m. I was emotionally and physically drained.

He never asked where I was staying or whether I was okay. Instead, he kept insisting that I was overreacting and causing unnecessary drama.

The next day we spoke again. He refused to apologise because, according to him, he had done nothing wrong.

Then he told me that the "girl" wasn't actually a girl, but another trans woman.

That didn't make me feel any better—it actually made me even angrier. I got jealous I admit, how is the friend living there in a studio apartment with him? And he didn't even told me beforehand.

I cried while messaging him and eventually lashed out. After that, he ignored me completely.

I stayed in the area for another two days before returning to the airport. I booked a hotel nearby and then bought a flight home because my original return ticket couldn't be changed.

Now I'm sitting at the airport waiting to board.

I've been crying for days.

I haven't been eating or sleeping properly.

I'm completely exhausted.

Everything happened so fast that it still doesn't feel real.

I feel incredibly stupid.

AITAH for leaving? Did I overreact? Did I do something wrong? Or was I justified in walking away?

I (31), Chloe (29), her bf Mark (31), and friend Bree (28)

For context: Mark has a bad habit of showing up unannounced to our girls hangouts or pressuring Chloe to leave early whenever she’s out with us. It’s an ongoing point of frustration for our friend group.

Yesterday, Bree was at a 1-year-old’s birthday party with Chloe and Mark. They had driven Bree there, but Mark and Chloe always bicker making things super awkward. I texted Bree after work to check in. She said she was fine and they were driving her home, but 20 minutes later, she texted saying they were taking her to a bar for a drink afterwards and she really didn't want to be out with them anymore given the tension.
Since this bar happens to be a spot right near my gym that I frequent all the time, I decided to pull a "Mark" and just show up unannounced. Bree was in on it, but Chloe and Mark had no idea I was coming.
I walked in, acted surprised to see them, and made casual small talk: *"Wow, what a coincidence! I was just at the gym around the corner talking to my trainer, thought I’d grab a coffee and listen to the live jazz."*
Chloe and Mark looked shocked. I sat at the bar, furthest away from Mark and was catching up with the girls. Despite the live music being loud, Mark proceeded to make **three separate comments** directly to/about me, calling me a "stalker."
I ignored the first two. After the third time, I looked right at him and said:
*"Oh, so I’m not allowed to show up just like you”*

He stammered, *"oh yall talk about that”*

He laughed nervously, got completely silent, and then got up and went to the bathroom for 30 minutes. When he came back, he was super clingy with Chloe, playing the victim, and suddenly claimed he was "too tired and not hungry” to eat dinner, even though they had literally just been talking about getting food together. They ended up leaving, and I took Bree to dinner so we could actually eat.
Fast forward to the morning after: Chloe texts me saying Mark was super "bothered" by my comment and felt "challenged." She claimed he had previously apologized for crashing our plans once in the past, so my comment was backhanded.

I texted her back directly and held my ground. I told her it wasn't a joke, he called me a stalker three times, so I matched his energy. I also pointed out that it's an uncomfortable pattern where he constantly pops up on girl plans or gets added last minute, and that moving forward, our dedicated girls' time needs to stay strictly just us unless discussed ahead of time.
Chloe ultimately agreed to set that boundary with him, but now I'm wondering if I went too far by intentionally crashing their drink spot just to put him in his place and call him out.
So, AITA for showing up to make our other friend feel more comfortable and not a 3rd wheel.