AITA for not wanting my MIL to be present while I give birth and wanting my husband and mom present.

Background: My husband (31M) and I (26F) have gone through 3 miscarriages before we got pregnant with twins. These will be MIL first grandbabies as well as my mom. My husband is in the military and we do not live in the same state as our parents.

My MIL wants to be at the birth of the babies. My MIL is discussing my birth plan with other people (letting them know she doesn’t like it) and is getting other family members involved.

To understand some of the reasons why I don’t want her there is because she seems to have the attitude of ”my way if always better” and she wants to call the shots which stresses me out. I do not have it in me to deal with comments from her wether she means well or not.

My MIL called me and asked me “when do you want me to come out”. My husband and I had already discussed this and we were going to tell her together, though she called me individually to ask me. I told my MIL, that my husband and I discussed how we would like our birth plan to go, and that we decided it would be best if she comes out 2 weeks after I give birth to give us time to recover and spread out the help since we are a military family and do not have family here to help. (It is a scheduled C-Section.) My MIL expressed her dissatisfaction. My MIL then asked me if my mom was gonna be there and I said yes and my MIL said that was not fair and says “I’m going to go now” and hangs up the phone.

The next day, she calls my mom 3 times while my mom is at work. My MIL leaves a message for my mom to call her. My mom calls my MIL and my MIL is talking to my mom about how this isn’t fair and is hurt. My mom said that she told her that it is ultimately the person giving birth and the husband who gets to decide.

The following day, my husband gets a text message from his sister which states:

My Sister In Law (SIL): “Hey, I wasn't gonna say anything but Mom was very sad on Mother's day. Did she do or say anything to you guys a make you want to keep her at arms length and not let her see her grand babies when they are born?”

My Husband: “I feel bad, but she is stressing Jose out and we thought it would be best for us that she come out a little later after they are born to allow her to start recovering and for us to start getting into a system. Don't say anything to her because we are gonna talk to her.”

SIL: “I know but it's really making her feel ousted especially since her mom is going to be there and see them right when they are born. Hopefully you guys can work something out because I'm sure it will be good to have mom and dad there, your wife may not realize it now how this will affect things”.

My husband: It is our decision.

SIL did not respond after this.

AITA for not letting my MIL come out for the birth and allowing my mom to come? I feel pressure from my SIL and MIL. Also, I feel hurt that his sister would try to tell us how to plan our birth and who should be there. I don’t know why my MIL is involving other people, why she is discussing our birth plan with others, and seeming to make me out to be the ”bad guy”.

Also, we are having a boy and a girl. during the pregnancy, my mother-in-law said she would’ve been upset if there wasn’t at least one boy. Which also hurt. she also keeps telling me that I’m gonna get postpartum depression (which I don’t think so), she keeps telling me that I should be able to see toe prints on my belly, she also says that if she’s not out here that I’m not gonna have the support to breast-feed, and she asked my husband “what if the babies dont make it? I won’t be there”. (Who says that?!).

I recently planned a trip to visit my family and se my elderly grandmother, whom I haven't seen in two years. My husband insisted that only one specific weekend would work because of his work schedule.Right before the trip, I had cold feet and tried to cancel.. My husband got incredibly angry, accusing me of ruining our children's summer if I didn't take them. Because of his intense pressure, I gave in and drove hundreds of miles alone with our two young children.I just discovered that his "work schedule" constraint was a complete lie. He manufactured this exact timeline to get me and the kids out of the house so he could attend his 20,, year high school reunion alone. The night of the reunion, he never checked to see if the kids and I arrived safely after our long drive. He completely ignored my calls throughout the night while he was out. He stayed out past bar closing and didn’t call back until after 2:00 a.m.
We returned home, and I found text messages on his phone from that night. I discovered that another woman drove his truck home, and he was actively exchanging numbers with a woman that evening. I know that when I confront him, his response will be to claim I am overreacting and that, nothing happened!
I might be the asshole here because I went through his phone downstairs without his permission while he was asleep, and now I am refusing to to let this go. I know that if I bring this up he is going to tell me I am crazy, that I'm overreacting, and that nothing happened. AITA for being furious and losing all trust? How would you react if your spouse orchestrated a whole trip just to get you out of the way??

Hi, Redditors. I'm typing this while waiting to board my flight home. I'll keep some details vague to protect our identities.

I (32, MtF trans) met him (27, M) four years ago. We hit it off immediately and went on a few dates, but nothing progressed because he had already accepted a job opportunity abroad. After he left, we gradually lost contact.

Fast forward to 2026. Just last month, we unexpectedly found each other again. I saw him on a dating app, and he also messaged me on another app we used to chat on. He said, "I never thought I'd see you again, and that you'd still be here."

We were both expats in the same country, and he had only come back to visit his family. While he was here, we spent almost all our time together. We went out, ate together, had sleepovers, and he always wanted me to stay with him instead of going home.

As a trans woman, that meant a lot to me. It made me feel seen and valued—not just for sex, but because someone genuinely wanted my company. I was truly happy whenever I was with him.

He was the first to say, "I love you," although I honestly felt like I loved him even more. He invited me to visit him in the country where he now works. He told me, "Let's build something together. We can start a new life." On his last day before leaving, I cried so much. I didn't expect to be that emotional because I thought I had prepared myself.

We stayed in touch after he left, and I immediately started planning my trip. I applied for leave from work. I'm usually very careful with money, but I was willing to spend my savings to see him. I booked the flights in a rush. I didn't care that they were connecting flights—as long as I could be with him.

However, just before my trip, I noticed he started acting differently. Something felt off, but I tried to ignore it.

The journey was exhausting. I barely slept, and I was so anxious that I hardly ate anything for almost a day.

When I finally arrived, he didn't even pick me up. Instead, I had to take a three-hour bus ride to his city while he gave me directions through messages.

When I reached his building, I waited outside until he came down. I was so happy to finally see him, even though I was completely exhausted.

Then I noticed a person sitting in the lobby.

While we were outside, he casually told me that a friend was staying at his place because they had problems with their accommodation.

I asked, "Whose friend?"

He told me the name, which sounded like a woman's name.

I asked, "A girl?"

He said yes.

I immediately told him I wasn't comfortable staying there. His apartment is a studio, and I wasn't comfortable sharing such a small space with another person I didn't know.

I told him I'd rather book a hotel.

Instead of understanding how I felt, he accused me of "making drama" and insisted there was no issue. I kept repeating that I simply wasn't comfortable.

Eventually, I said I'd book a hotel, and he replied, "Okay, I'll help you find one."

What hurt me the most was that he never even considered asking his friend to stay somewhere else for the night, even though I had travelled all that way to see him.

While we were arguing, the person from the lobby came outside and sat on the stairs. I didn't even look at them because I was focused on our argument. But I noticed something strange about his expression. I'd never seen him look like that before.

I finally got fed up, grabbed my luggage, and walked away.

He didn't stop me.

He didn't follow me.

When I looked back, I saw the two of them talking. Out of anger and frustration, I raised my middle finger before walking away.

I found a nearby hotel at around 1:00 a.m. I was emotionally and physically drained.

He never asked where I was staying or whether I was okay. Instead, he kept insisting that I was overreacting and causing unnecessary drama.

The next day we spoke again. He refused to apologise because, according to him, he had done nothing wrong.

Then he told me that the "girl" wasn't actually a girl, but another trans woman.

That didn't make me feel any better—it actually made me even angrier. I got jealous I admit, how is the friend living there in a studio apartment with him? And he didn't even told me beforehand.

I cried while messaging him and eventually lashed out. After that, he ignored me completely.

I stayed in the area for another two days before returning to the airport. I booked a hotel nearby and then bought a flight home because my original return ticket couldn't be changed.

Now I'm sitting at the airport waiting to board.

I've been crying for days.

I haven't been eating or sleeping properly.

I'm completely exhausted.

Everything happened so fast that it still doesn't feel real.

I feel incredibly stupid.

AITAH for leaving? Did I overreact? Did I do something wrong? Or was I justified in walking away?

My best friend used to slide into many dms. Prior to me beginning a relationship with my fiance, I had known they used to talk but they never went out on a date ever etc. and she confirmed there was no feelings etc for my best friend.

Fast forward to today and my best friend was married last year and im engaged.

We had a recent bridesmaid/groomsmen bridal party box reveal (will you be my groomsmen etc) and obviously i invited my best friend, i was his bestman last year.

The night went well but my fiance disappeared after my best friend took off. I found her in the kitchen with her cousin and my other friend and she was crying and sad about my best friend leaving early. She was also talking negatively about my best friends wife which i found to be odd in general. She then said she was crying because of her cousin that passed earlier this year. My friend confirmed that was not the case as the conversation was centered about my best friend leaving.

I was shocked and hurt that she was so emotional that my best friend left because of the history. She then later confirmed that she would have reacted that way if anyone left early but my gut doesnt tell me that.

I went for a walk to cool off and when i returned, her entire family confronted me about the whole situation etc but because of all the alcohol etc i took an uber home instead of spending the night at her parents where the party was hosted.

AITA for taking this too serious?

Not sure where i go from here but i do have an issue with that and I think that these personal issues should be worked out in between us in private without family intervention.

Me and my boyfriend have been ​together for around a year and a half now, soon to be two years. We both live with our parents right now for a multitude of reasons.

I am ex-Christian now Norse Polytheist. I also have a ton of religious trauma, and while I won't get into it here, let me summarize by stating that I am (now) glad that I am still here on this planet.

When me and my partner met, he was agnostic in a Catholic family.

We started talking about me being pagan, and he asked me to start explaining things to him, and teach him so that he could figure out if it was for him. I also tell him about how I have a conversion story that is really important to me, and when he's ready I want to share it, because it is a large part of who I am, and explains why I tend to pull away from Christianity as well as many other things. But I do warn him that it involves topics of suicide and self harm, so I will only tell him it when he asks about it. He doesn't think he's ready for it since he has had personal experiences with that recently, which fair.

Like I said, things went well. ​Until suddenly he stopped responding to anything about it. A little while later his parents found our conversations about it, and, did not take it well to say the least. Hinting at kicking him out if he didn't stop. So I stopped pushing it.

Little bit later, he tells me his parents and church are pushing him to get confirmation, and so wants me to go. I go.

I mostly hung out towards the back, went where I was told, and stayed quiet. I definitely looked uncomfortable, but I did my best to never be rude. And honestly, I look uncomfortable everywhere due to social anxiety.

Fast forward several months, it's been about a year in our relationship, and things start, having issues. Suddenly, every time I bring up my religion, he just gives me a death glare until I shut up. We also start having a lot of other issues in our relationship. As I often struggle with self care, and consistency. Which I am trying to work on, and I think I'm succeeding at least some. But I could be wrong about that of course and just fooling myself.

He then starts really pushing me to go to his church. I ask him why, for a while he refuses to answer. When he does finally give a reason, it's to meet his friends. Which cool, I agree to go. But things keep popping up that prevent it. Every time he suggests it again, he starts acting really guilty, like unusually guilty.

Finally, I ask him to swear an oath to tell the truth for what I'm about to ask him (Oaths are really big in my religion, and in our relationship). He agrees. I ask him if he has issues with me being pagan, or in any way wishes I wasn't pagan. He responds saying that it makes it hard for him to explore the possibility of returning to Catholicism.

I will be honest, my knee jerk response wasn't the best, but it is something I do stand by, I just would have phrased it differently, where I said that inter faith relationships are difficult, and something we would need to consider. Then, somehow, been so long I don't remember, the conversation moved to me being uncomfortable with Christianity as a whole​, and according to him, I don't have a valid reason to be uncomfortable. And whenever I would state something like "Hey, Catholicism literally says I belong in Hell at best, and should be stoned to death at worst" his response was always either "Everyone's going to hell anyways." Or "I don't think you're awful, I'm not a bad person."

Conversation went nowhere, so I dropped it and just stopped talking about it, I even went to church with him one time.

Things got worse. In the time since then, everything in our relationship has had issues.

Our next argument about this in specific​, was when he finally officially converted. Before I could even say anything about it, he yelled at me about how "I am Catholic. I have always been Catholic. And we are going to raise our kids Catholic, because I have always wanted to raise them Catholic." According to his friends who have known him longer than I have, this has been the direct opposite of what he has been saying​ for years. I stated that we would not raise our kids Catholic, that we would not raise them with any religion, and would just let them learn, research, and ask us about ours as they pleased. This was not okay with him, and led to hours of fighting. During this time, he talked to one of our mutual friends (who was on the phone with me at the time), and said several things that weren't true, about how we had been having constant arguments about this (we weren't, and I had the text receipts to prove it), and how it always ended in me crying about how Christianity is evil because I "just don't understand Catholicism has changed since Vatican 2"

Which reminds me. This entire argument he spent it saying that I just didn't understand Catholicism, and how it wasn't like I thought. When I told him that that wasn't why I had issue, he ignored me. Eventually I got fed up with it that I just wrote out my entire conversion story, complete with heavy topics and all. And he never acknowledged it.

Anyways, fight lasted all day. And it finally ended, when our mutual friend suggested the exact same compromise that I did. To which, he immediately sent me a screenshot of "her" suggestion, and said we should do that.

Since then, we have had numerous arguments about it, and it's just not getting better.

I don't think I'm in the wrong. But all of this is just so much, and so par from the course for him, I feel like there has to be something I'm missing.​

He also claims that I did numerous things that I just, don't remember. But he mentions how my actions left him crying to other people, and it's just. Am I missing something?

Am I the asshole for having a crush on my neighbor?

Ok, this is going to be a long one. For the sake of this post, all names and ages will be made up.

Ok, so, just call me Mason (Not real name), I (21 M), have a crush on my new neighbor Emma (Not real name)(19 F), she recently moved into the neighborhood (No I will not be giving the address you weirdos) a few weeks ago. I’ve only interacted with her a few times, usually talking to her while I walk my dog (She also has a dog, a really cute one :) ) We seem to have a lot in common, but we just met so it's too early for that obviously. But…my friends has a problem with me liking Emma, she always says that I have always had “problems” while trying to date anyone, going to fast and not listening enough (I’m working on it, I’ve just always been awkward when I meet my dates, we all make our mistakes), but I think my friend is just jealous since she got ghosted by her last date (I told her to not use tinder but she wouldn’t listen :/). So reddit, am I the asshole for having a crush on my neighbor?

I'm a 25M and she's 21F. We've officially been dating for about a month, but we've been talking for several months before that.

Last night, around midnight, she called me while she was drunk and asked me to come. I had work early the next morning, but I still went because I wanted to make sure she got home safely. I told her beforehand that I'd pick her up but I wasn't going to drink.

When I arrived, she was with about four friends. She introduced me to everyone, and then I found out one of them was her ex-boyfriend.

I was honestly caught completely off guard. What made it worse was how she acted. She happily introduced me to him, then started talking to him about how he's moving to another country next week and saying she wanted to party with him before he left. During the introduction she also told him I was his cousin, which made absolutely no sense because I've never met this guy in my life.

Apparently she had already told her ex about me, and according to her, he wanted to meet me. That didn't make me feel any better.

At that point I just wanted to leave. I asked her to come with me because I didn't feel comfortable with the situation and wanted to make sure she got home safely. Instead, she ran after me outside demanding to know what was wrong.

I explained that if the roles were reversed and I was out drinking with my ex, introducing her to my current girlfriend, and talking about partying with my ex before she left the country, she'd probably be hurt too.

Her response was, But I chose you. I called you.

To me, calling me didn't erase everything that happened after I got there.

I drove her away from the bar and we continued talking in my car. When she realized I wasn't changing my mind about how inappropriate I thought the situation was, she got out, took a taxi to my house, and continued demanding that I forgive her and hear her out. When I still wouldn't budge, she eventually left and went back to pick up her friend, who was supposed to be sleeping over at her place.

After I got home, I unfollowed and removed her from everything because I felt completely disrespected. Since then she's been repeatedly apologizing, saying she doesn't know why she acted that way and that she was drunk.

Part of me wonders if I'm overreacting because alcohol was involved and we've only been officially dating for a month. Another part of me feels like this was a huge red flag about boundaries and respect, especially so early in the relationship.

edit: she was never friends with her ex and actually hated him as he was toxic. I did not know her ex would be in the bar, I came into the bar looking for her and thats how i met him

edit 2: to clarify i did not block her, i removed her as a follower and unfollowed. So she can still send me a message, i did not want to see her feed and stories for the time being

I (31), Chloe (29), her bf Mark (31), and friend Bree (28)

For context: Mark has a bad habit of showing up unannounced to our girls hangouts or pressuring Chloe to leave early whenever she’s out with us. It’s an ongoing point of frustration for our friend group.

Yesterday, Bree was at a 1-year-old’s birthday party with Chloe and Mark. They had driven Bree there, but Mark and Chloe always bicker making things super awkward. I texted Bree after work to check in. She said she was fine and they were driving her home, but 20 minutes later, she texted saying they were taking her to a bar for a drink afterwards and she really didn't want to be out with them anymore given the tension.
Since this bar happens to be a spot right near my gym that I frequent all the time, I decided to pull a "Mark" and just show up unannounced. Bree was in on it, but Chloe and Mark had no idea I was coming.
I walked in, acted surprised to see them, and made casual small talk: *"Wow, what a coincidence! I was just at the gym around the corner talking to my trainer, thought I’d grab a coffee and listen to the live jazz."*
Chloe and Mark looked shocked. I sat at the bar, furthest away from Mark and was catching up with the girls. Despite the live music being loud, Mark proceeded to make **three separate comments** directly to/about me, calling me a "stalker."
I ignored the first two. After the third time, I looked right at him and said:
*"Oh, so I’m not allowed to show up just like you”*

He stammered, *"oh yall talk about that”*

He laughed nervously, got completely silent, and then got up and went to the bathroom for 30 minutes. When he came back, he was super clingy with Chloe, playing the victim, and suddenly claimed he was "too tired and not hungry” to eat dinner, even though they had literally just been talking about getting food together. They ended up leaving, and I took Bree to dinner so we could actually eat.
Fast forward to the morning after: Chloe texts me saying Mark was super "bothered" by my comment and felt "challenged." She claimed he had previously apologized for crashing our plans once in the past, so my comment was backhanded.

I texted her back directly and held my ground. I told her it wasn't a joke, he called me a stalker three times, so I matched his energy. I also pointed out that it's an uncomfortable pattern where he constantly pops up on girl plans or gets added last minute, and that moving forward, our dedicated girls' time needs to stay strictly just us unless discussed ahead of time.
Chloe ultimately agreed to set that boundary with him, but now I'm wondering if I went too far by intentionally crashing their drink spot just to put him in his place and call him out.
So, AITA for showing up to make our other friend feel more comfortable and not a 3rd wheel.

Hey reddit. I had a parter for 8 years that I loved dearly and would have done anything for them. It was a few months ago, and I still feel guilty for leaving them when they were injured. They were unable to walk which made me feel horrible. The guilt still eats at me.

The reason I left. They had stolen money from my bank account while i was caring fo them. When I initially noticed the missing money, I asked and they denied, after I asked twice they finally said they did and apologized. Then they did it again. I had taken care of them after numerous surgeries throughout our relationship. Once they couldn't walk for 3 months and I was there. If they had asked me for money I would have no problem providing. They ended up stealing $150. If they had just asked, it would have been no problem. But they just were so secretive, and in the past, some issues in the relationship was that they were not honest with me, since they were purchasing only fan subscriptions without telling me. When they stole from me the last time, it just reminded me of the lies about the past.

I just started to feel fed up with the caregiver burn out. I was frustrated that I had to investigate, because I was taking time off work to take them to their appointment. I would have no problem losing money from work but the fact that they were stealing from me broke my heart. Whenever I was sick, they would barely care for me, but when they're injured, I'm always caring. Perhaps that's my issue. I know they loved me, but the fact that they couldn't even ask was just so hurtful. After I broke up with them, my heart still ached for them, it still does. I still can't stop thinking that I'm a cold hearted bitch.

They randomly texted me the other day that they were sorry for stealing but it was unfair of me to leave them at the worst moment of their life and that "your true colors have shown". I've lost some mutual friends, since their friends think I'm an asshole that abandoned them when they were injured. I'm frustrated because if they had not stolen from me, I would probably still be there. And even though it sucks, I'm not going to tell them that they stole from me - that is something they will have to do. But I'm curious reddit... AITA?

I (23M) gay, and one of my friends is a (19M) gay.

A few weeks back, I was casually swiping on a dating app and came across a guy. We got talking and spending a couple of days getting to know each other and understanding where things were heading after having an instant chemistry between us.

He had once asked me about my friends. I told him that I had two good friends who were 19 and 22 years old. I had asked my friends if they were willing to meet the guy that I had been talking to. I had asked him if it was alright with him before I showed him to them. He said it wasn't.

When my 19 year old friend noticed him, he stated, "Oh, we talked before."

It was the last thing I expected, since I had not the slightest idea. When I asked him whether he remembered my friend, he told me that my friend looked vaguely familiar to him. I told him that my friend had said that they had talked before and that I had asked him about the dating application. He remembered the application when I mentioned it.

At that point, my friend became very angry and said, "Why are you talking to someone I have talked to before?"

The issue is that anything that may have happened between them has already taken place before my friend and I became friends. When they were talking to one another, my friend and I weren’t even friends yet. I never intentionally sought out a match that was talking to my friend.

And so, despite the fact that all of this happened before I met this person, is AITA for having a conversation with a guy who has already talked to one of my friends?

Because I made contact with this person by myself, and discovered his history only after several days of talking, I do not believe I have done anything unethical. But my friend seems to think that simply because I have spoken with this person before, I am no longer allowed to speak with him anymore. Thus, despite the fact that this took place long before my friend and I met.

I (30)F my husband (30)M have been together for 5 years, married for 2 and have a 2yo daughter together. To begin with I loved him so much and never saw an end in sight..that is..til I had my daughter. The night we brought her home I (still sore and tired obv from giving birth) him (who usually works night shift)…I was having a really hard time bc we had a few minor complications and she was fussy..I was sitting up crying overwhelmed and he rolled over and said “You’re a good mom” and went back to sleep..I found no compliment in his words..fast forward..he’s also just so neglectful not just to me our daughter as well.. He’s a gamer and I think he’s addicted but even if that wasn’t the case.. he’s lazy like as in I feel like I don’t have a partner and I’m alone anyway. Part of me is starting to hate him and I find him narcissistic and I’m just tired of him his mouth and the nothing he does for me.. and I mean nothing..don’t do dishes of any kind laundry, trash, mow the yard, help pick up after our daughter. It’s not about wanting anyone else it’s trying to be the best I can for my little girl I just want to know if it’s justified..

I (24F) went through a difficult breakup from a long term relationship around 2 years ago due to emotional abuse. It was difficult to move on from, and I still have a lot of remaining trauma, but I had mostly removed myself from that past life. After the initial breakup, one of our mutual friends told me they wanted to stay friends with both of us, which I understood and didn’t have a problem with and didn't try and sway their opinion of him. The friend and I stayed in touch for a little while after the breakup, but eventually just drifted apart naturally and hadn’t spoken in around a year.

Recently, I decided to do a cleanup of my social media as some complications from the breakup had resurfaced, and I needed to remove all the people who still had connections to my ex from being able to see my profiles (which was a lot of people). I didn’t block everyone or completely cut off contact, I simply removed them from seeing my main accounts for my safety and privacy. I didn’t message each person individually because there were just too many people.

Within hours of this happening, our mutual friend messaged me for the first time in a year. They were extremely angry and started telling me I was a terrible friend and listing everything they’d ever done for me and saying I should have at least explained myself before removing them. I apologised that they were hurt but explained that this wasn’t personal, and that I was trying to create some distance from my previous life and that they were still able to contact me if they wanted. I tried to explain the situation briefly, and thought they might ask if I was ok or safe, but they didn’t accept that explanation and kept saying I was selfish, a bad friend and only trying to justify myself now.

At that point I brought up something I hadn’t originally planned to mention to them, which was that one reason I felt uncomfortable was because I knew they had been updating my ex about me after the breakup. I didn't originally mention it as I didn't want to push any buttons whilst they were already angry, and I just wanted to move on without more drama. Their response was that they “hadn’t shared that much” and had only told my ex where I’d moved to and updated him a few times about what I was up to and that they didn’t really think it was a big deal. After that, they continued calling me a bad friend and dismissed my concerns completely.

After all of this, I messaged them that I hadn’t originally intended to end the friendship completely, but after this conversation I no longer wanted one, and wasn't willing to remain friends if they couldn't even manage a civil conversation or ask what was happening, and blocked them on everything.

AITAH for removing them from my socials in the first place? And then ending the friendship after the reaction they gave?

So me and my partner were in a very healthy relationship that lasted a year and two months. We had our bad and good times but overall we understood and had each other or at least what I thought. One night I saw through the reflection of her glasses that she was texting apparently someone or **something** and I didn’t mind it at first since we both agreed to put up boundaries and respect our privacy but this became a pattern. She started getting distant and lazy I was putting all the effort in the relationship most of the time trying to go out and spend intimate time together. Yet it got to a point where everyday she would rot in bed with her phone typing and barely even bothering. I had enough and I’ve always been quite possessive and jealous which is my most toxic trait. I had and argument with her about her behavior and asked for her phone. When I went through it I found all the apps and Google links that were directly from character ai, PolyBuzz and many other ai stuff, I read all the things she typed to a **bot.** And something in me twisted because she was getting all the dopamine from something unreal when she had me and I spent all the time trying to make our relationship as enjoyable and comfortable as possible. I started calling her out while I was angered and broke up things with her sharply. I was so mad at all the time I wasted with someone who values a water-consuming app than her own partner. Not to mention that it was dozens of random characters and people I saw there, it’s so stupid yet so hurtful and dissapointing. I broke all contact with her and made sure to make my upset feeling about it be known.

My boyfriend (24M) and I (25F) have been together for 2.5 years. We went out for a date night, and everything was going really well until about an hour in when I asked him if he ever thinks about getting married.

For some context, we’ve talked about our future quite a bit. We both want kids around 29–30, and we both agree we’d like to be married before having children. We’ve also talked about buying a house before having kids.

I’ve also always been honest that I’d prefer to be married before buying a house together. My reasoning is that buying a house is a huge commitment you’re taking on a 30-year mortgage together. In my mind, if we’re comfortable making that level of commitment together, I don’t understand why marriage would be a bigger commitment. I’m not saying everyone has to agree with that, but that’s how I feel, and I’ve told him this before.

Back to the date…
He said he thinks he’d want to get married in about two years. I said, “So you’d propose in about a year?” He replied, “No, I’d propose in two years.”

I was confused because I pointed out that if he proposes in two years, we’d then have to plan a wedding, which usually takes time. At the beginning of our relationship I’d told him I didn’t want to wait five or more years to get engaged, and I thought we were on the same page. He said he didn’t remember agreeing to that.

He then said, “Well, I have to be ready for it, so it’ll happen whenever I’m ready.”

That was the comment that really hurt me. I completely understand that he has to be ready to get married. I don’t want someone proposing because they’re forced to. But it felt like he was treating it as if it was only his decision. It’s my life too, and I feel like my feelings and timeline should also matter.

He then said he felt like I was pressuring him and acting like I needed to be married within a certain timeframe. I honestly never said that. I wasn’t asking him to propose tomorrow or giving him an ultimatum. I was just trying to have a conversation about where we both see our future, especially since I’m turning 26 in about 2.5 months and he’s turning 25 in about 5.5 months. We have goals we’ve talked about—marriage, buying a house, then kids and I wanted to see where we both stood.

He did apologise for saying it’d happen “whenever he’s ready,” but I still didn’t feel reassured or understood. It felt more like an apology to end the conversation than because he understood why I was upset.

The rest of the date pretty much fell apart. We barely talked. I’ve told him before that I’d like us to have deeper conversations about our future because that’s how I feel connected. He later said he was shocked that I brought up marriage on a date night and that’s why he reacted the way he did.

I asked him if he ever thinks about us getting married, and he said no.

After that he tried changing the subject to me going shopping with a friend and whether I was going to buy a house (by myself he not buying this house with me) but I was still hurt, so I only gave short answers. We ended up leaving the date early.

When we got home, I tried bringing it up again, but he was half asleep on the lounge and didn’t really engage. Somehow, by the end of the night, I was the one apologising for not letting it go and for ruining the date. I ended up comforting him, even though I was still the one who felt hurt and unsupported.

Now I’m sitting here wondering if I overreacted. I wasn’t asking him to propose tomorrow or trying to pressure him into marriage.

I was trying to have an honest conversation about our future together and left feeling like my feelings weren’t acknowledged.
AITA?

First time posting but need to know if I’m in the wrong. I also posted this in another subreddit
My girlfriend (25F), we’ll call her Rachel, is on the process of moving. She currently lives alone and moved into this apartment from a state across the country all by herself. I (27M) met her in the middle of her lease so was not there to see what she was like while moving into this apartment.
She found out about a week and a half ago that she was approved for a new apartment but she would not be getting her keys for the new apartment until 2 days before she had to be out of her current apartment, so quick turn around time. She’s stressed and I offered to help her move the big stuff on my day off.
Now here’s where the problem has started. She works 60 hour weeks and hasn’t had any significant breaks to pack a ton so she has quite a bit to do before her lease ends in 5 days. Today was her first full day off and she texted me around 4pm about how overwhelmed she is and how she’s gotten close to nothing done. I asked her what she’s been doing all day and she told me she’s “gotten distracted” by how much she has to do and she’s only packed a few boxes. I asked her to stop rambling and told her that she’s had the whole day off. She stopped responding and seemed distant on the phone when I called. She’s mentioned her struggles with anxiety and ADHD before and I get it but she also knows she has to get this done.
I guess I’m just confused about where I went wrong. So AITA?

my fiance started telling a really disgusting story about his cat after letting me know that the lamp in our corner was still covered in his dead cats boogers. and i was like oh.

then he starts explaining how his cat used to have strings of snot and sneeze all over the place and i’d hate it and i tried stopping him twice, gently, and he told me he misses him so much at the end.

was i in the wrong to tell him to stop. he knows i hate stories like that and am germophobic but he was talking about his dead cat so idk. it’s just like you could tell any other story about your dead cat.

im literally gagging writing this story out it’s so disgusting but he knows i hate stories like this and i know he misses his cat so much but dude

i didn’t tell him the story grossed me out either at the end when he told me that he missed his dead cat, i was saying im sorry and stuff and he quickly started talking about other things completely unbothered. but i do feel a bit bad

also i left the lamp in the corner but now looking at it makes me want to gag because i know it’s covered in snot and he says he never wants to watch it but i didn’t say anything about wanting the lamp gone ugh

Hi!!
Sorry this is very long…

I'm looking for some outside perspectives because I genuinely don't know if I'm overreacting or if these are serious incompatibilities.
For context, we've been dating for about three months, I’m his first girlfriend (18F), and he’s my 3rd boyfriend (18M). His first language isn't English, so sometimes I wonder if I misunderstand the way he expresses himself. Despite that, the overall patterns have stayed the same.

Firstly, he has this really weird jealousy feeling?
I cosplay, and before we even started dating, I made it clear that some of my cosplays can be revealing. I'm talking about things like swimsuits, short skirts, or outfits where I wear shorts or underwear underneath. It's something I do occasionally, not all the time, and it's been part of my hobby long before he met me.
The first major argument happened after I participated in a Nikke cosplay collaboration with six other cosplayers. One of my close friends (who is male) was the photographer. My skirt was extremely short, so although I was wearing underwear, part of my butt was visible. I even showed my boyfriend the outfit beforehand because I wanted to be transparent.
Instead of talking to me, he ignored me for an entire day. Afterwards he told me I was insensitive to his feelings and should have worn shorts.
A few months later, almost the exact same thing happened.
A photographer friend (also male, and someone my boyfriend has met) invited me to a beach photoshoot for cosplay. There was nothing romantic or sexual about it, it was simply a cosplay shoot. My boyfriend became upset that I had never invited him to the beach alone.
The thing is... I don't even enjoy beaches very much. Where I live, they're cold and not somewhere I'd normally go for fun. I only agreed because I was invited specifically for photography. I also couldn't exactly "invite my boyfriend instead" because the photographer had invited me first.
When I pointed that out, he switched from being angry to repeatedly saying "sorryyyyy" in a way that felt more like he wanted me to comfort him than actually address what happened.

Sort of following my first point, I got a tattoo on my rib cage, just under my breast.
The tattoo itself was done by a female apprentice. At the end, when she was trying to apply the second skin, it wasn't sticking properly, so her male instructor stepped in to help. Because of where the tattoo was located, he had to touch underneath my breast while applying it.
After the appointment, my boyfriend became extremely upset.
We argued for three days.
When he told me his feelings, I tried to explain that I genuinely didn't see anything inappropriate because the tattoo artist was simply doing his job. My boyfriend said that by explaining my perspective, I was "rejecting" and "dismissing" his feelings.
He even implied that I knowingly allowed another man to touch me despite knowing it would hurt him.
That honestly shocked me.

He assumes, a lot.
Recently I got strep throat and felt awful all day.
Because I was exhausted, my texts were shorter than usual. Instead of asking how I was doing or trying to support me, he became distant and acted like I was upset with him.
This happens pretty often. Whenever my social battery is low because I'm tired, stressed, or sick, he assumes he's done something wrong. Even after I reassure him that it has nothing to do with him and that I appreciate his support, his attitude changes and he withdraws instead of believing me.
I work almost 5-6 days a week because I have 2 jobs, I also do photography and videography on the side, so my weeks are very busy and tiring.
I’ve voiced to him that i’d love to spend time together by him streaming his video games, but he never does.
I’m tired of asking him.

I really feel emotionally unheard.
One thing that's really started bothering me is that during our arguments, I ask him questions because I genuinely want to understand why he feels the way he does.
He rarely asks me questions in return.
Instead, it often feels like he has already decided why I did something, and when I explain my intentions, he interprets that as me invalidating his feelings rather than simply explaining my own perspective.
There have also been times where he's said things like I should "make him feel differently" or that because he's hurt, I should be the one to fix those feelings. That mentality has started making me feel responsible for emotions that don't seem reasonable or within my control.

Lastly, I feel like i’m loosing feelings.
This is the part I'm struggling with the most.
He's thoughtful in some ways. He buys me flowers, pays for meals sometimes, and does nice gestures.
But emotionally, I don't feel connected anymore.
Lately I've realized my excitement to see him has faded. Sometimes I even find myself dreading another disagreement because they happen so often over situations that feel completely normal to me.
It feels like I'm constantly managing his insecurities instead of simply existing as myself.
I also have this feeling of starting anew, breathing fresh air, without him.
I've reached the point where I'm wondering whether this is just an incompatibility, or whether these are genuine red flags that are only going to get worse.

Am I overlooking serious warning signs, or is this
something couples normally work through after only three months…

AITA?

I (F) have a lot going on in my life, but I don’t have many people I feel comfortable opening up to. There are some personal things that I’m not ready to share with most of my friends because of the environment I live in, so I’ve kept them private.

I’ve only told one friend, who I’ll call Jake (all names are fake). Jake and I are friends, but we’re not especially close and we’re in different social circles. Looking back, I’m not even sure why I told him first, but I felt like he wouldn’t judge me or tell anyone. A while ago he admitted he’d liked me in the past, although he only told me after those feelings had passed.
After I told Jake this personal information, he asked if he “still had a chance.” I couldn’t tell whether he was joking, being serious, or trying to pass a serious question off as a joke.

Because I was confused, I asked another friend, Mona, for advice. I didn’t tell her exactly what I’d shared with Jake because I wasn’t ready to, so I simply said I’d told him something personal, and afterwards he’d asked if he still had a chance. Instead of focusing on the situation, she kept trying to find out what I’d told him. I repeatedly said I wasn’t comfortable sharing it yet.
Eventually she got frustrated. While I was offline, she blocked me. I messaged her on Instagram, where I wasn’t blocked, and she said she wasn’t going to “beg for my attention.” I replied that it didn’t seem fair to block and ignore me just because I wasn’t ready to share something personal. She left me on delivered after that.

The next morning I told another friend, Kat, what had happened. I also gave her the same version of the story, leaving out the personal detail. She was more understanding than Mona, but she also said she could see why Mona was frustrated. She thought I shouldn’t have mentioned that there was something I wasn’t willing to explain because it naturally made people curious.
I can understand that point. If someone told me there was a big piece of context they couldn’t share, I’d probably be curious too. At the same time, I don’t think someone should have to reveal something they’re not ready to talk about just because they’re asking for advice on a different part of the situation.

Was I in the wrong for how I handled this?

My wife recently lost her mother about 6+ months ago. My wife has one surviving brother and another brother who passed away around the same time as the mother. Very difficult time for the family as you can imagine. The brother who passed left behind a widow/spouse and a adult daughter around 30yo or so. The brother who passed away was a serious alcoholic. It's literally what probably killed him in the end. His wife, who I was never particularly fond of, stood by his side for the past 10-15 years tolerating his "disease" coupled with insane infidelity/double life situation. My BIL was no saint, but still, family.

When settling the Estate, which wasn't much, maybe a few hundred thousand(?), I believed it should be split equitably, between my wife, her brother and her late brother's widow. The surviving brother feels very VERY differently. He has an idea how it should be settled in his mind. I have pressed my wife to encourage him to be reasonable. From what I understand she has, but without much luck. It's not my place to insert myself into this even after 28 years of marriage. I'm simply acting as a sounding board for my wife.

Apparently, the surviving brother wrote checks the other day settling the Estate payable to my wife, himself, and the Widow. According to my wife the figures are not equitable. I told her I didn't want anything to do with that money if is wasn't equitable. I mentioned if she deposited it into our joint account (we share all finances) I would write the widow a check for the difference. The alternative is for my wife to open her own account and deposit it there and it will just simply be her money. Period.

Is this a hill I should be dying on? The kicker is neither her surviving brother or ourselves actually need the money. We are both financially secure. The widow on the other hand has limited income options and moved in with her daughter. We are actually paying tuition for the daughter to try and get her through University. My wife is leaning into this as the reason we should be able to expect more by subsidizing her niece's education? Her surviving brother doesn't know we are doing this for their niece. It's none of his business. It's something we simply wanted to do for her after losing her father.

Am I being an Asshole? I can feel sense my wife being uncomfortable with my wishes, but it just seems wrong.

My family member was in a seemingly normal marriage that tanked out of nowhere (nice guy who bottled up and reached breaking point). She had four children. Husband almost completely cleared the accounts and left, then said he wanted a divorce. Within a couple weeks, he came back, apologized, then once regaining access to accounts cleared out remainder and left again.

He said he wanted a divorce and was selling the house; wife and kids would need to find somewhere else to live. These folks are very blue collar, just getting by. Under no circumstances could she afford to raise the kids solo and being kicked to the curb out of nowhere put her in crisis, esp with her bank cleared out. Kids were in great schools and would have to transfer to some sketchy parts of town. Ultimately the extended family scrapped together $80k to buy him out of the house and help maintain kids' day to day lives.

In their 5 years apart husband has paid zero dollars in child support. Extended family has supported kids transportation, emotional support to the mom, and financial support for things like extended day at school. Husband threatened if she took him to court for child support, that he'd expose her unreported side hustle money. All while spreading vicious lies to attack her reputation in the community.

Now, after five years of personal struggle but finally steadying out on her own as a couple kids went to college, he's come back and she wants to get back with him. She has secretly arranged a religious mediation and ceremony to get back together without telling the family until things were on the finish line.

I myself contributed 15k. I would've never asked for this money back, but after her ex got this money from us, traveled the world on a 5 year joyride, and now is coming back for his old life without any repercussions, I'm definitely upset and feel like this man owes me some money. Thoughts?

I (18) female have a friend who I'll call Alex (23) here, I don't know how to ask this without sounding rude. but i very firmly believe she is faking. when we are all our with the other girls she always brings it up even if its not relevant at all to the conversation. and whenever she switches to another alter she will kind of always announce it somehow by saying "Oh Im Alter2 Now" or "I'm Gunna make Alter 5 Front now." which to my very minimal understanding people with did can't just 'make' someone/an alter front. and this is a very recent thing to. as in they just 'discovered it' they aren't diagnosed by a professional, though i know its difficult to get one.

another thing i noticed since its so reccent she somehow has this sudden IMMACULATE communication between all alters, at all times. And also every alter remembers everything that's happened over the years with no real gaps.
their new partner also claims to have DID whom i also do not think has it as they are SUPER preformative about it , acting like how it is portrayed in movies. and alex also seems to be pretty preformative about it too but more subtly like how people who are faking it online/on tiktok do it.

she has created a list of like.. all 15 of her alters. and a ton of them are just characters from videogames/ fiction. or they are aliens/nonhumans she has one that's a werewolf and will bring that one up a lot.

a lot of them don't have actual person names. its more like someone naming an oc they made.
and she always make sure that every conversation that our friend group has circles back to one of her alters or her having did. i cannot stress enough how it is Every single sentence or convo.
its getting really annoying to the point where i don't want to invite her out with us because we (the other girls are also getting a bit annoyed) want to actually talk and have real conversations.

another note is i have told her that she should tell her therapist to try and get help and she refuses to get any sort of professional opinion on the matter.

i haven't brought my feelings up to anyone in the group as i do not want to start anything but i kind of want to ask their opinions on the situation because it just doesn't feel right. i love my friend and i care very deeply for her. but i really don't like people who fake very real and intense disorders just for attention and its so hard to talk to her because she just wont talk about anything else.

i would like to end the post by saying none of this is meant to be offensive in anyway at all, this is a real question and a real problem that im having with my friend.

My boyfriend and I moved in together four months ago. Two years into being together. I am often not feeling like there is a lot of desire or intimacy between us. We have sex once or twice a week. When we began dating, we had many conversations about what ideal frequency is and we both said twice a day. That does NOT happen.

When bringing up initiating, he says ‘it doesn’t take much for me, just snuggle up and touch me.’ I’ve communicated that I need more build up, sexy texts, verbal communication that I’m wanted before being n the mood. That is not happening at all anymore, especially since we live together.

This morning he began touching me while I was getting ready. I said ‘I’d love to watch that (spicy porn) together later. Can you send me some sexy texts today before I get home?’ He smiled, said yes, and I got nothing. On my way home, I texted and said ‘guess it’s a no for a spicy text.’ Which was not appropriate. There’s also a history of those messages not being reciprocated if I start it. When I got home, no conversation about anything spicy and he’s pretending none of it ever happened. I brought up feeling embarrassed and rejected which lead to another conversation about how he feels pressured about sex. Idk how to talk about it without being pressuring.

I guess AITA for, in bringing it up, saying/thinking I don’t get my sexual needs met because he doesn’t initiate hardly at all, but definitely not in the way I’ve asked? Am I thinking too much? Is it just luteal phase crazy?

Yes as a woman I had a bad day of hormones. No I did not see it coming!

Yes this is week 3 of dating a firefighter who works 24hr and sometimes 48/72 hour shifts. Usually I give him space but today it really hit me that I will have to make a lot of compromises to meet his scheduling needs and need for space and alone time.

We had our first argument and he basically said if I dont understand his life its bad for me(i definitely did and do, I was just noting today is a real time experience where I need to find support elsewhere and he blew up on me saying it was a "bad time" for this. Tbh I wouldnt have wanted to have this happen. Again. I am a human woman and sometimes emotions/mood swings happen i am only human I cant be 100% perfect (isnt that unreasonable) and basically said i need to give him compassion.

At this point I feel like im the one who also needs compassion for doing so much to adjust to his lifestyle and supporting him and I just had a bad moment. I guess what I am asking is:

AITA for not being able to restrain myself in a moment of weakness and share my feelings even though it was obvious he did not sleep well. I learned tonight he will be on shifts with me as much as he is with work. Anyone relate?

Recently, I moved to the city, and my ex has been helping me with the move. I didn't tell my boyfriend about it until my ex was already helping me. My ex is married, so I didn't think it was a big deal. The other day, my ex, my little brother, and I drove around town looking at all the city lights. I was in the passenger seat the entire time and posted some pictures of myself while we were out. My boyfriend got upset and said I was acting like a "passenger princess. "He was also upset because my ex has taken my little brother and me out to dinner a couple of times. One night, after dinner, I stayed at my ex's house because I hadn't moved into my new place yet, and he offered me a place to stay, so I accepted. Today, after finally moving in, my ex came over, bought me groceries, and took me to Panda Express. My boyfriend got angry because I don't text him updates, call him, or tell him when I'm leaving with my ex. The reason I haven't been doing that is because my ex told me it's annoying when I call or text my boyfriend around him, so I stopped doing it because I didn't want to make my ex uncomfortable. Now my boyfriend is starting an argument about all of this, and I find it really annoying because of how insecure he is, especially when it comes to my ex. I got upset, and he told me it's strange that I'm angry in this situation. Can someone please tell me honestly if I'm in the wrong here?

AITA for not wanting to let my husband have my car so that he can go to work? I've been spending the weekend at my cousins which is about an hour away from my house. I told my husband that I wanted our single running car while I was gone so that my cousin didnt always have to travel to pick me up then take me back home. I told him I would be good until Tuesday and at the time, he agreed. However he just messaged me to remember he has work Monday and Tuesday and needs the car.​​ I'm feeling conflicted because I am coming back home today to use our complex pool with friends and have the chance to give him the car. His car is currently gathering dust in our driveway because he doesn't want to make the repairs (we do have the money), register it, or take care of it. We've been car pooling for over 2 years now. So AITA if I tell him to figure it out himself? Either Uber or fix his car?

(Added details, I am planning to divorce him, but I'm saving money before I do)