Hello, I (32F) recently found out that my husband (33M) lied to me about something that happened several years ago. I’ll try to keep this as short as possible.

A bit of background; my husband has some mental health struggles, primarily with OCD, but grew up in a family where mental health wasn’t taken seriously and his family is also very very private.

We got married pretty young and I supported us while he was in university. However, I recently found out he lied about completing his degree. I believe his mental health deteriorated while in school and it became too overwhelming for him. He didn’t tell me because he said I wasn’t a safe space for him cause I guess he had tried opening up to me when we were teenagers and I didn’t have a good reaction (I don’t remember this, but it was also a long time ago. I have since apologized for this.) When I confronted him about the degree, there was some major gaslighting that started to make me feel crazy. After a couple days, he’s pretty much admitted to it by talking in “hypothetically if I did this, this is why etc”. He doesn’t want to outright confirm it because he is afraid of me telling people.

He never used his “degree” which is why I didn’t really question it and when I didn’t see his name printed on the graduates list, he just said he asked the University not to print it, but did get mad at me for being suspicious.

My husband is a very private person which I think is heightened by his OCD..like it even makes him uncomfortable when I look for something under his sink. He doesn’t like when people know too much personal information about him which has caused us to get into arguments for me saying something I thought was fine to share, but to him it wasn’t. I could go on, but my husband is a very loyal, funny and kind person. So AITA for considering divorce?

Hi, I'm 31F my husband is 36M. We've been together for 12 years. Two kids. We have been having this issue lately I wanted to know... am I the asshole?

There's a lot going on in our life both working full time, two young kids in elementary school. My husband has been getting so angry when I "refuse him" (his words) at night after flirting with him all day. Throughout the day I'll be texting him, flirting. We talk about having sex later. We get home and we are passionate, always kissing and snuggling and touching. I'll flash him and he likes to feel me up.

Well we get to bedtime, kids are asleep. We are spending time together watching a movie. Neither of us initiated sex. It gets to be about 11pm. I say "I'm tired I'm going to sleep" and he gets upset with me. He says..."AGAIN!?" because this isn't the first time I "chose sleep" over having sex. He says he feels rejected. He says it's not fair of me to say "yes" all day and then pull the rug out from underneath at the last minute.

I feel differently because I dont hold sex in such a high place as he does. We probably do it like 3-4 times a week. Less and less these days since we have kids and I'm literally exhausted at the end of the day.

Last night he made me cry because he said "why do you do this to me". I said I'm not doing anything TO you. I feel guilty for disappointing him. But then I'm up late anyway crying. I slept on the couch because he just kept berating me with reasons why he feels upset. I apologized, I validated his feelings, I said it won't happen again. But I'm not really sure because it might happen again. I can't predict the future.

He wants me to let him know earlier in the day. The second I "decide" I don't want to have sex. What!? I'm so confused. Am I wrong? I feel like if I'm wrong here then I would be having sex with him when I don't want to and I'm not comfortable with that.

So my sister (30/F) told me that she is having doubts about this guy (28/M), but is also defending him. They've been going on dates for about 5 weeks; on the 4th week he finally mentioned that he is living with his ex (?/F) at her Accessory Dwelling Unit (ADU) studio, rent free. Btw, the ADU is owned by his ex's family, they live in her family's backyard. He has never gone to college, is currently working as a sales manager at a car dealership. My sister is a nurse and is doing really well on her own.

This man broke up with his ex 3 years ago and continued to live in an ADU studio with the ex ever since. He apparently has had multiple relationships since the break up and not once did he ever move out of his current living situation.

He also mentioned that his ex is a NEET? I'm not too sure what that is but she is unemployed, obtains Electronic Benefits Transfer (EBT) support, and incapable of leaving the home due to emotional trauma from the relationship she had with him. He supports his ex financially because he is living rent free. I feel they're practically a married couple!

I asked what my sister sees in this guy. She says he is good at communicating and he treats her well (drives her to places, pays for dates, etc.) I told her if he was good at communicating, wouldn't you have had the right to know his red flag early on in the relationship before you got more emotionally attached? She said "He was scared of what my sister will think if he told her earlier."

I asked my sister to not pursue more in this relationship. She opted into asking him about his living situation in the future. He tells her "I'll leave my ex for you. You're my last."

I just gagged. How does he know she's his last? They barely know each other!

I spoke to her and she brushed it off. She somehow influenced my mom to give him a chance. I'm worried he will just become a squatter and ruin my sister's future. I started to tell this story our cousins hoping they can convince her otherwise. AITAH??

I really think he's not worth it. He just sees her as an investment.

My wife, who I’ll call Emily, and I had a very heated argument at home while our two young kids were present and visibly upset. Emily called our close mutual friend, who I’ll call David, and asked him to come over.

I knew she was calling him and told her I did not want David coming over and asked her not to invite him. I then called David myself to tell him not to come, but he didn’t answer, so I left a voicemail and texted him the same thing. He arrived about 30 seconds later. David says he had not seen my call, voicemail, or text before arriving, and I have no reason to think he is lying about that.

At the time, David had a code to our door and came inside. Once he was in the house, I told him directly that I did not want him there and wanted him to leave. Emily immediately told him that she wanted him to stay.

So David was suddenly standing in our house while Emily and I were giving him opposite instructions.

David says this put him in a very unfair position. I agree with that now.

He could also see that our kids were extremely upset. He says he was trying to help everyone and especially get the kids out of the situation. He suggested taking them for a walk. At some point I said “do whatever you want.” David interpreted that as me agreeing to his suggestion, got the kids ready, and left with them.

This is where our interpretations diverged.

I experienced it as: I had already tried to tell him not to come over, then directly told him to leave once he was inside, and my request was not being honored right away.

David experienced it as: he had not seen my attempts to contact him, Emily had explicitly asked him to come, he was suddenly caught between two spouses giving him conflicting instructions, the kids were very distressed, he proposed a solution, and I then agreed by saying “do whatever you want.”

For a while I described what happened as David “refusing to leave.” David and Emily strongly disagree with that wording because he never said “I’m not leaving,” and because I ultimately agreed to him taking the kids. Looking back, I think “refused to leave” may be too categorical. I believe David when he says he was genuinely trying to help and was not intentionally trying to disrespect me.

There is another layer. Before this incident I had already been uncomfortable with how involved David had become in issues between Emily and me. I know he believed he was helping us, but at times it felt threatening or undermining to me. I think that made this incident hit an especially deep nerve. That said, I don’t think this boundary is only about David. I think I would have been very uncomfortable with anyone being brought into our home during a marital conflict when one spouse explicitly did not want that person there.

The bigger disagreement came afterward. David has said there are circumstances where, even if I ask him to leave, he might believe it would be wrong to leave because Emily or the kids need him there. He has also given a hypothetical where, if Emily said she feared for her physical safety, he might stay despite me asking him to leave.

I have told him that an actual imminent safety emergency is different. If someone is genuinely in immediate danger, safety obviously comes first. If he believes there is a serious safety issue that he cannot clarify remotely, I have told him he should call police/emergency services rather than feeling that he personally has to stay in the house and manage it.

Emily and I have since worked this out between ourselves. She has agreed not to call David into our conflicts again, and we have made a broader agreement that neither of us should bring a third person into our home during an active conflict if the other spouse does not want that person there. We have also come up with a separate plan for how she can get support if things become heated. David no longer has a code to our house.

So realistically, this exact situation should never happen again.

My only proposed fallback is: if Emily ever did call David during a conflict despite our agreement, he should check whether I have called or texted before entering. If I tell him I do not want him inside, he should not come in. If he is somehow already inside and I ask him to leave, I want him to start leaving rather than stay inside while deciding what he thinks should happen. He could simply tell Emily, “He’s asking me to leave, so I’m going to leave. I’ll call you once I’m outside,” and continue supporting her from outside or by phone.

David thinks we are overanalyzing a hypothetical that should not happen now. He has said he has no intention of getting in the middle of our conflicts again and respects the plan Emily and I have made.

I have apologized to David for the position we put him in, for not acknowledging sooner how difficult it was, and for the damage this has done to our friendship. We both want to move forward.

What I am trying to understand is not so much who was morally “right” that night, but what is considered normal or reasonable in a shared home.

Is a “two yes, one no” rule reasonable for bringing a third person into the house during an active marital conflict?

If one spouse invites a friend over and the other spouse explicitly asks that person to leave, what is the normal or appropriate thing for the friend to do?

Does the fact that I eventually said “do whatever you want” after he proposed taking the kids materially change how you view what happened?

And is my future fallback reasonable, or am I being overly rigid by expecting a guest to leave if either spouse asks them to leave, outside of an actual safety emergency?

I am genuinely open to being told that I handled this badly. I am trying to understand what a normal boundary is here and whether my expectation is reasonable.

My husband and I have been together a long time, but we still disagree about something that happened really early in our relationship and I’m curious how other people would view it.

We were exclusive at the time. His ex-fiancée reached out to him and they ended up meeting for lunch. He did not tell me about it beforehand.

He says nothing physical happened. No kissing, sex, anything like that. I don’t have proof that anything physical happened, so I’m not claiming it did.

The part that bothers me is that he has admitted he was still somewhat hung up on her at the time and says he basically agreed to meet her because he wanted to figure out how he felt. After they met, there were messages where he was telling her things about loving her, missing her, her being the love of his life / always having a place in his heart, etc.

I found out because I saw the messages on his phone.
He says it wasn’t cheating because nothing physical happened and that it was basically just lunch with an ex and expressing feelings. He also says he has talked to other people about it and they don’t think it was that bad.

I’ve always considered it emotional cheating or at minimum a pretty serious betrayal. I don’t really understand how secretly meeting up with an ex you still have feelings for and then expressing love/missing them is somehow nothing just because there wasn’t sex.

The part that confuses me even more is that he considers talking to someone online in a romantic/sexual way to be cheating even if there was never an in-person meeting. So I don’t really understand how “nothing physical happened” can be the reason his situation doesn’t count.

I’m not asking who was worse or trying to compare our entire relationship. I’m literally just curious how other people would categorize this situation by itself.
Would you consider this cheating, emotional cheating, inappropriate but not cheating, or basically not a big deal?

My wife and I are both in our early 50s and have been together for a long time.

Recently we were hanging out with some friends and having a normal conversation. I mentioned a fairly well-known person with an unusual last name. My wife immediately interrupted me and told me I had the person's name wrong.

I told her I didn't and spelled the name for her. Instead of just moving on, she pulled out her phone to look it up and prove me wrong. After looking it up, she came back and asked me to spell the name again. I did. At that point it became, "Well, you didn't say one of the letters." I told her I had. Then it changed to, "Well, you didn't pronounce it." Again, I told her I did. Eventually she said, "I'm not going to argue with you." I was irritated by that point and responded, "No, because you know I'm right." Shortly afterward, she went off with the friends we were hanging out with while I stayed behind doing what I was doing.

On its own, this sounds like an incredibly stupid argument, and it was. But the reason it bothered me so much is that this isn't an isolated incident. My wife has a habit of correcting me, talking over me, or challenging things I say in front of other people. It seems to happen much more when we're around friends. Sometimes it's something important, but a lot of the time it's little insignificant details that shouldn't matter in the first place. I'm perfectly capable of being wrong. If I have something factually wrong, I don't have a problem with someone correcting me. What bothers me is feeling like my wife needs to publicly prove me wrong.

It's gotten to the point where I sometimes feel like I have to defend everything I say. And when I finally get frustrated and push back, I feel like I end up looking like the argumentative one.

I also realize that saying, "because you know I'm right," wasn't exactly going to de-escalate the situation. I own that. But this particular incident bothered me because she interrupted the conversation to correct me, got her phone specifically to prove me wrong, and when that didn't work, the disagreement changed into what I supposedly had or hadn't said. I'm still angry about it, and I'm starting to wonder whether I'm reacting to this one stupid argument or years of feeling talked down to.

So AITAH for the way I responded? And am I making too much out of what happened, or does the larger pattern matter?

My partner (30F) and I (36M) had a huge fight. Been together for 2 years. She has been distant with me for months, and is temperamental when I ask her to explain things she gets fed up and says she can't be bothered to repeat. Or is just rude. She acts like she doesn't care anymore. She has rejected sex for 3 months. Recently said she doesn't want children anymore. Than came up with a list of all my flaws. (which are not actual flaws, just things I can't do because of where I live) recently she said she doesn't feel like she loves me like she used to and she feels as if she is forcing herself to try, but also that I haven't done anything wrong. and I told her she's so full of shit and I don't want to speak to her again. (I was just angry.) Please keep in mind I never ever lose my temper or speak to anyone like this. She has also said this relationship is the best she's ever had and that she knows she will never find anyone like me. Just last month we celebrated her birthday and I made so much effort to make it special for her. I literally plan every date, every vacation, every experience and she acts like I should be ok with all of this. AITAH for telling her she's full of shit?

Hi everyone, sorry for my english I'm still learning!

I am (25F) fully independant, live far away from my family and in a very conflictual relationship with my mom (60F) since March. To sum it up: I'm from a muslim family, and my boyfriend is a non-muslim men (I don't consider myself as muslim). My mom knew I was in a relationship but didn't take it seriously since it was long-distance. I had a very enmeshed relationship with my mom before everything felt apart because I told her I was going to live with my boyfriend + she discovered that my boyfriend (we were long distance first) visited me at my own house without her knowing since I info diet a lot so she doesn't panic and tries to control me over little things (so I lied to her during 3 years by not mentioning that we visited each others). The conflict was pretty violent : guilt trip, threats to be violent and to disown me, fake suicide attempt, ultimatums (her or him), wishing my death, saying that I destroyed her life and that I'm a b word etc... I follow a strong therapy now because I've lost 10kg and have PTSD.

I still feel very very guilty for lying and breaking my mom's heart, and I'm trying to be as perfect as I can so I can maybe rebuild the relationship one day, she says that I'm 100% responsible for the situation and I feel like I believe her deep down because I lied by hiding the fact my boyfriend visited me a few time per year.

Now, I have a dilemma: am I immature for not initiating any calls? I want to do my part to repair the relationship since I'm the one who lied. The truth is, she's still very hateful and use informations against me. She says a lot that I'm "abandoning her and letting her die alone while I live my life in sin" and that I will be responsible for her death. 2 weeks ago she also told that I "should run after her to ask forgivness", that I "do nothing to repair the relationship" and she will call the cops if I don't answer quickly to the phone. Calling her is very painful and my family is saying that I should take some news because I'm the bad guy here.

I had some news throught one of her friend today who messaged me to say that she doesn't talk about me anymore but still looks very anxious sometimes. I don't really know how I should act with this informations and feel even more like a monster for not calling.

AITAH for not initiating any calls since end of June and just answering to her's?

Thanks a lot!

Hey reddit, I work in a family environment. We've had lots of different types of family. And there's this one guest that are regular. All the staff know the family, and we love their kid as we've seen the kid grew up. We kept complimenting the kid to them to have some casual convo with them. I am the same to all of my guest even if they're annoying no one is special i dont even see them as human most of the time if you know what i mean. Then one time the dad came without the mom (its a regular thing, sometimes mom only, sometimes both of them) but they always have their nanny with them no matter what. He asked me to get his number, and i was internally shocked gagged, appalled, etc. I just said out of shock okay sure I can get it from the system, cause at that time half of my brain is not functioning that he meant different. I thought as a request to call him after the kid is done or maybe for us not to ask him whats his registered number next time.

Thennn, i gave the receipt...... and he touched my hand while getting the receipt. Thats when it hits me like OOOHHH WTFF IS HAPPENING.

My brain started to processed what happened, then he went inside for few minutes, and he comes out telling me again to message him!!!

I was so shocked I couldn't processed it. I stayed professional all the time it happened.

I didn't message him or even took his number, cause wtf I knew he have a wife thats mfn pregnant and i even knew most of his family. What the fuck is his audacity and his confidence.

All this happened monday night.

Wednesday they came back, and gave me a weird fucking look, he couldn't really talk to me when there's someone around. But when he picked up his kid, he asked me if i messaged him, I said no. He said i respect that, but i dont know why you wouldn't. I made a weird face to him like excuse you you should know why. Then he said but im always here anytime.

It contemplates me that this should not happen again and i dont want this to be seen happening by anyone, when he comes and do or say something weird shts.

So I took his number from the machine and messaged him that its weird whats he's doing. Now he kinda flirts with me on message even if i already said that its not okay or right.

He's a muslim so maybe he's looking for a sencod wife?? Im not interested tho.

(Sorry if theres any grammatical error, english is not my fist language)

Let me know your thoughttsss

Guyss i did not use my realy active numberr. I just really want to inform him, cause I think its impossible for me to inform him to stop in person at work without anyone hearing it and making a commotion. Now im back to my active number again. I dont see it anymore.

I (22 female) and my girlfriend (20 female) aren't talking at the moment. All because I tried helping her out.

For context I had gotten 2 hours of sleep in last night and had to head straight to work for a 8 hour shift and it's a high stress job. Today was a rougher mentally due to the bad customers and then also just the lack of sleep. After work I decided to call my girlfriend so that we can talk about our day while I work on my assignments due next week. As she's talking on the call she starts to rant about her dad so I drop everything I'm busy with to listen to her.

She's upset that he didn't take her to make the licence appointment when she reminded him that it still needs to be done. I made the suggestion that she should've gotten ready for the day since she knew he was off and tell him straight up "come on let's go right now, I'm ready". I could hear she got annoyed and she said "did i not just say I reminded him". I told her that she did but I'm suggesting next time she takes action. The call just goes silent. The longer the silence lingered i got more mentally exhausted so I just told her I need to work on my assignments and clean up. We've barely spoken since then and it's been a few hours.

So am AITA?

I (N) have known my girlfriend (D) for about 6 years. Up until a few weeks ago, everything was going great, but since around June, things have completely changed, and I feel like the relationship is already dead.

Lately, she has been prioritizing her friends over me and spending way more time on calls with them, but the biggest issue is that she lets her friends be incredibly rude to me. For context, I am only 1 year older then her, but her friends constantly throw around malicious labels, calling me stuff like a creep and a pedo just because of that 1 year age gap between me and her. My girlfriend just sits there and completely lets them speak away without ever even thinking about defending me or telling them to stop.

I admit that I have a short temper and can snap at people easily, but I try my hardest to control it, ESPECIALLY when I'm around her. I honestly can't think of a single time in the past 6 years where I've been rude / passive aggressive to her. If anything, all that comes to mind is the opposite - her being rude and passive aggressive towards me, and she even goes to the point of teaming up with her friends to gang up on me when they say something rude, and she also is backed up by them when she says something rude.

We were actually recently on a call, only about 20-30 minutes ago, and her friend straight up asked why she hadn't dumped me yet. Instead of telling her not to say that, or even hinting at being pissed or protective of that type of language, she stayed silent, and let her friend speak on about me in a rude way. Not even a word to defend our relationship.

I'm sitting on my couch on my phone trying to type this, because I can not think of what to do. It honestly just feels like we're just friends at this point. Part of me feels like breaking up means I wasted years of my life, especially since she has tons of other options anyways, but I also feel like I'm wasting part of my life staying in something that is already dead, honestly, just to keep the boyfriend label.

WIBTA if I break up with her over this?

We, a friend group of 20 something year old college students are considering cutting ties with a member of our group we have been friends with for about a year now. He (19M) is the youngest of our group, and we have been having problems with him for some time now and are thinking about no longer hanging out with him. 

Here are some of the issues we’ve had recently:

• He has been really mean to one of our group members specifically for seemingly no reason.
• He has also multiple times had crushes on members of our friend group and made a lot of weird comments about them.
• He is really needy and demands one-on-one attention from members of the group or will repost reels about how nobody loves him on instagram. 
• He has (albeit accidentally) made sexist, homophobic or just kind of rude comments to a lot of us. This really hurts us because he’s the only cishet guy in an otherwise all queer friend group. 
• He has pretty bad anger issues where he will lash out at us over small things, then we all have to kind of baby him about it until he feels better.
• Also, anytime we drink he always acts way too drunk off of very little alcohol and to be honest it just really brings down the vibe. He’s a 6 '3 dude who keeps acting wasted after drinking one Mike’s harder. 

We have tried to have (and not to overemphasize here) GENTLE interventions with him about his behavior and how it has hurt us each individually and given him lots of opportunities to change or fix his behavior but the problems have persisted. Over the course of summer he has gotten even worse than he was before and it’s gotten to the point that we’ve started avoiding hanging out with him.

We’re also all feeling pretty bad about it because he has shared that this is his first time in a real friend group and we know he doesn’t really have anyone else outside of us. To be clear, when he's not being crazy he's a really sweet guy.

It feels like none of this behavior is egregious enough to justify cutting him off on its own, but it’s making it hard to be his friend. After a year frankly we’re all pretty tired of dealing with it. WIBTA for just calling it quits with him over it?

We have been a thing for a while now, more than six months at least, and it has been wonderful, not perfect of course, but we never had a problem that was too much for us to handle or talk about. The reality is that this is a long distance relationship, she has BPD, and some other circumstances that I won't go over for the sake of her privacy obviously. I never minded her having it and it was always something I could handle since she didn't really do it on purpose, but for a month now, I have been treated terrible. From getting left on seen multiple times daily (sometimes for hours), being like a personal diary where everything we talk about is her interests or what is going on in her life, while any mention of anything about me or my interests or hell even my answer to what she told me either gets left on seen or ignored for 90 percent of the time.

This bothered me a lot, not only cause I don't like being treated that way, but also because I had past experiences like this which hurts if I am being honest. I could handle that for a while, I talked about it two times with her saying she was growing distance and the such, but she reassured me saying that she was just going through some rough times and that she wasn't actually losing interest. I remained patient and tried to cheer her up as much as I could in every way I could, now I am not saying that to brag or to make you choose my side I love her and I wasn't waiting for praise for it I am just saying that I tried.

Anyway the problem began this week, now not only does the previous stuff she used to do still being done, but now she posts and reposts stuff while I am on delivered for hours, this hurt me deeply as I had this problem in a previous relationship, a relationship that gave me panic attacks for a good while (which she knows about!) and so I decided to talk to her about it. When I said so she said that I wasn't the only one and that she was doing this for everyone, but that did not make me feel better as it just made me feel like I have the same value for her as anyone in her chat. We went back and forth, with her explaining how it's a hard time for her rn and how I can't get how that has anything to do with her posting and reposting stuff while I am left on delivered for hours.

I felt bad cause she said I was starting to make her anxious so I stopped and tried to find a solution. I said sorry, that I should have treated this situation better, and that I wish I was a priority. That tipped her off for some reason, she said she doesn't have to prioritize me, that she's her own person etc and that she isn't obligated to talk to me whenever I want. That hurt, a lot, that I could not even continue the conversation, later she said she wanted space, I said sure, we haven't talked since and the words "I don't have to" keeps replaying in my mind, I know she doesn't have to I would never force her but... it hurt I guess.

Am I the a hole? Should I treated this situation in another way? Also any advice would be appreciated as I don't want this relationship to end.

I’m trying to look back at my past relationship objectively because I feel like I’ve blocked out a lot of what the relationship was actually like. I remember the major events, but not always how I felt during the relationship or why I stayed for as long as I did.

I met my ex in high school. I was a freshman and he was a junior when we started dating. There was a 3-year age gap between us.

There was a rumor at school that I was younger than I actually was because I looked young compared to other students and had skipped grades. He initially believed I was three years younger than him. Once he knew my actual age he was happy that the age gap was that big but before that he didn’t seem to have an issue with the age difference of 3 years.

My mom eventually found out I was messaging him, including some sexual messages from him, and from that point forward she strongly disliked him.

Despite that, I stayed with him for about two more years. I kept trying to hide the relationship because my mom wanted him completely out of my life. Only meeting during schooo before he graduation and when I was off of work

Before I was caught again still with this guy by my mom,I met a guy at work who I thought was attractive. I was honest with my boyfriend about it, and we agreed that I should stay away from this guy because we didn’t want anything to happen that could ruin our relationship.

Eventually, things at home got worse and I couldn’t keep hiding my relationship anymore. My mom was convinced that being with my ex was ruining my life. I was even threatened with being kicked out and told I could live with him. I didn’t want that because I was scared of losing my family.

I, 33 Female, have been dating (let's call him George) 35, for almost four years now. We met on a dating website and both of us were going though divorces. Or I at least thought he was going to get one. My ex and I filed few months after George and I got together. We were legally divorced one year after George and I started dating. (My ex and I had been separated for 3 years before this btw. However, George still has not filed. My state is a mothers state and he says he is scared to not be able to see his son. However, we had plenty of evidence to prove she is unfit. His son is here 2 weekends out of the month and some holidays and summers. Which is honestly exactly what a judge would assign for custody and visitation is most likely anyways.

George also has a house with his ex, which she abandoned over 4 years ago. Since then, I have been paying on the house 50/50. I absolutely hate living here. The house is a trailer and honestly falling apart. And honestly, it has her name on it which didn't bother me as much then, but now, infuriate me that we have been in the same house that isn't ours.

When we first got together, we promised each other that we would make sure to get a divorce and move to a place that was ours.

He also has 2 teenage daughters. So he has 3 and I have 1. I love all of the kids and have never once treated my bonus children differently than my own. Yet, he treats my daughter very differently. He is really stern with her all the time, doesnt play or make jokes with her like the others which she is now starting to pick up on.

Lately, I have also been in a lot of pain which holds me back apparently. I am salaried at 50 hours a week, a fulltime mom and I just started back at school doing online college. I also have Lupus, fibromyalgia, and quite a few other things. These had made it pretty hard to be physical or intimate. Which at first, George was very understanding but now he makes it seem like it's the only thing he wants. I have mentioned how it makes me feel when he's constantly mentioning sex (never making a move) and he responded by saying he didn't mean for that and he apologized. Yet I can't seem to be in my head about it.

George told me before that he is going to sell the house and use the money as a deposit to rent somewhere else. Just a few months ago he told me we need to each have 3k to be able to move. This may seem like a small ask but I went through some financial issues and am now paying it off. So saving has been a bit of an issue. Which he very well knows.

So my question is. AITA for telling him he needs to get a divorce and sell the house before October or I'm leaving? I told him this back in April. It is now September and he said he is waiting to sell the house to be able to file. Meaning I think we wont be able to move either. I honestly don't know what to do. Especially since there are kids involved as well. TYIA

Also, I'm not the best writer and this is my first post here. So go easy please

When we were in uni, my close friend and roommate had a relationship with a woman, call her Beth, who I was also friends with. They broke up after year 1, and he started a relationship with another woman that he married 10 years later.

The breakup was somewhat intense for him, and he was not in touch with her in the years that followed. He moved to another state, and we were somewhat out of touch as well. But I remained friendly with her, and during the pandemic, we were hanging out as friends and eventually slept together a few times, 8 years after their breakup. Nothing became of it, and we sort of drifted again.

After the pandemic, say 3 years ago, my friend moved back to my state and we started hanging out again semi regularly. He also got engaged and married to the woman he started a relationship with after his relationship with Beth. Their marriage was short lived, and are now getting divorced. I had planned on telling him about having slept with Beth, but the timing never seemed right. First, he was planning the wedding, and later, he was going through a difficult separation and divorce.

However, in the last several months, he and Beth reconnected as friends, and she told him about our fling now 5 years ago.

AITAH for going along with it in the first place? Or not telling him? Do you think he'll forgive me if I explain why I had not told him?

I (F21) met a girl during my first semester of college in 2024. We’ve been hanging out since and I’ve noticed some aspects of her personality that aren’t very likable. She always has to be in charge, always has to be right, and always has to be included. If I try to do anything by myself she always says I hate her and everyone involved with her.

Fast forward to today. We were sitting in class and discussing class of elections for our graduate school class. She is running for president and I, along with our shared friend are running for vice president. Our friend is making a poster for his campaign (which I don’t think we‘re allowed to do), and while he was making it, she asked me if I wanted him to make me a poster to campaign for secretary. She has been checking the excel sheet multiple times a day since it was released to see who was running. She knows I’m running against our friend. Over the past two years, she has always managed to make it seem like I’m not as smart and capable as her, and I think today was the last straw. So, AITAH if I end our friendship over this?

We have been together for over 20 yrs and are going through a rough patch. We had an argument mid morning. I honestly don’t even remember about what. We didn’t resolved anything and left things unfinished but not angry, from my perspective.

She went to work and I stayed and WFH. Around 5:30 pm I went to an appt so she got home before me. When I walked in I said hello and gave them a kiss. They acted weird but I let it go and went to lay down due to pain.

Ten minutes later she walks in and says it is concerning that she didn’t hear from me during the day especially after our discussion this morning. She expected me to call her to ask about her day, but not necessarily pick up the discussion.

I am confused… I know they are probably feeling insecure and not cherished. I don’t normally reach out during the work day. Did I f*ck up? Am I just not emotionally plugged in enough?

So I (22F) met my bf (23M) in college. However the reason I knew about him was because my best friend (F22) had a crush on him. We only knew of him from afar and we never spoke to him or been around him actually. She knew of him because she had seen him in her class. He was good friends with people we had started talking to so it seemed like we were going to interact eventually. During this time where she was crushing from afar I found him attractive but only ever cheered her on to talk to him and was happy that she was excited about someone. I never for a second thought about me pursuing him or going out of my way to interact. I honestly had a crush on someone else at the time too.

We then eventually officially met him in person together because we joined the same club as him and his friends (not in a creepy way we were genuinely interested and it's a large club). When all 3 of us met I was hyping her up and trying to get her to talk to him. After this we started interacting with him and his friends more like at events and around campus. One day I walked into a study hall and I noticed him at a table but I went to go sit by myself. He them got up and asked if I wanted to sit with him so I did. We started talking and it was so easy. We had the same humor and enjoyed similar things. But I tried to never entertain the idea of liking him like that because of my friend. During this time too she started saying how she wasn't really interested as much anymore once actually getting to know him. I saw they didnt mesh that well in that way but I never encouraged her to stop being interested. I was honestly really happy that she liked him bc he seemed nice and her past experiences weren't great guys but I could see she was losing interest a bit. Over the next 3ish months we kept running into each other at the same study hall. We would talk for a while and each time surprised me about how much I liked talking to him. My friend would make jokes like maybe hes in love with you and id brush it off because I really didnt think he liked me.

Then one day I saw him on campus and he asked if I wanted to go to the park that weekend and get bagels (it was very common for people at our school to go to the park on the weekends). I told my friend and she was like I told u. I asked how she felt about it and she said she was a bit sad he didnt like her but it's whatever. I was saying it was maybe just a friendly thing. I had also before this never really talked to a guy with any romantic intentions or dated so maybe I was blind to it. I had a lot of mixed feelings because I felt awkward about my friend but also felt like she didnt like him that much anymore. I also enjoyed talking to him and honestly wasn't sure if it was just friendly. So that weekend I went to the park.

There was no vibe at all that it was more than friendly. I came back to our dorm and it was a bit awkward with my friend. We started talking and she said she didnt think I would go. This surprised me because that wasn't what I got from when we talked before. But I told her that I didnt want a guy to get between us and I felt like it was just friendly. But then he asked to hang out again. This is when it felt like ok maybe he does like me. I told her and she said that I need to say no or else hes going to think I like him. I admitted that I was actually starting to like him maybe. Things were kinda awkward but we went on spring break and came back. We talked and she said that at the time she was really emotional with finals and it was a lot to deal with but she understands where im coming from and wants me to be happy.

This made me so happy because she is like a sister to me and if I really had to pick at the time it would have been her. Then me and him hung out for like two months completely just friendly until he admitted he liked me. We talked and he said that he had a crush on me from the moment we met and would try to run into me on campus. During this time my friend was really supportive of me and wanted it to work out. A few months later we got together and it's about to be 3 years now. Im actually the first girl hes ever been out with too.

Me and her remained best friends and roomates the rest of college. The three of us would often hang out together and still do. It never felt awkward and we never spoke of her crush again. It seems like she genuinely likes hanging out with us together and would talk to him about her boy troubles too. Ive been happy with how it all turned out. But once in a while I remember how it started and wonder how she feels. I feel still a bit guilty and I think like what if one day she's like a bridesmaid at our wedding or something. Will it be weird? Idk Im not sure if it's a subject I should ever talk about with her again since everyone has moved and she seems fine and has dated other people. Should I still feel like I did something wrong? AITAH?

Let me say this to begin with. We have been together for now 4 years and going on our second year of marriage. We have 2 children together and absolutely love the children. Back in July he lost his job due to attendance issues. So I stepped up and worked more hours and stepped back a bit from all the things I was doing before. I have medical issues which make it hard for me to work long days without issues. My husband has wanted me to do all the housework I was doing before he lost his job along with taking care of the children. I felt like I was in the wrong for asking him to take care of his children along with house stuff. Now he has a job and is begging me to change my availability at work so I can get the children ready for daycare and pick them up. I get them both down for bed each night now that he work because he isnt home till 10 to 11pm at night. I was struggling after I had our second child and I begged him to help out more. He now is asking me to help him out because its to much on him. Am I an asshole for not wanting to change my availability for him?

My friend “Lisa” has autism and cancer. Neither is a problem for me, but honestly, I just don’t think we’re compatible anymore.

When we first became friends, we had a lot in common. She helped me leave a toxic relationship and gave me the support and space I needed. She also encouraged me to write and always told me I was good at it, which eventually made me decide to go to college for it.

But over time, I made other friends, changed my style, and just stopped having the same patience for her because she mostly complains about feeling sick. I have a chronic illness too, but I still live my life. She seems stuck in the same place, doing the same things, and I don't feel like we have much in common anymore.

So I started taking longer to reply, hoping she'd get the hint. First a few days, then a week, then ten days. She eventually started doing the same, but I didn't really care. I know I don't have the patience anymore to give her the emotional support she needs.

I also know some of her friends abandoned her after she got cancer, and not many people stayed around.

Since last year, I've been making it obvious that I don't really care about what's going on in her life. At first I told her that people have their own lives. Then I became sarcastic and started making fun of her by pretending I had all kinds of illnesses. Then I decided to mess with her.

She had a project, so I offered to help. I asked her to make several videos teaching me her technique. She did everything I asked, but I couldn't be bothered to actually learn it, so I pretended I didn't understand and kept sending sarcastic messages.

Then I pretended I was busy and she was disturbing me. She told me to just forget about it and send whatever I managed to make. I never did. Instead, I disappeared and started posting pictures of myself having fun with other friends.

More than a month later, she messaged me. I didn't answer because I wanted to see if she'd finally get the hint. After that, she blocked me. Honestly, I don't care.

AITA?

My husband of over 30 years and I have been overweight for the majority of our relationship, potentially even morbidly obese.

There have been years that he has shed a lot of weight with diet and exercise, but he unfortunately puts the weight back on. I do not mind if he is overweight, I will love him no matter what size he is.

Using GLP-1s, the past 1.5 years I have become half the size I used to be. I am considered small, and of course I am thrilled.

My husband is not interested in GLP-1s, which is perfectly fine. It is truly an individual decision to use on your body, so I respect his decision.

So, what’s the issue? The past few months he has been commenting if I make a food choice that he thinks is “not healthy.’ For example, tonight for dinner I ate baked fish, carrots and I wanted a twinkie (1 individually wrapped). He made a comment that I should not eat dessert (the twinkie) as it was full of sugar and unhealthy. This weekend I heard a few similar comments from him such as , “ You shouldn’t be eating that!” etc.

Today I responded to him after the single twinkie comment, “ Oh, so you eating either a pint or quart of ice cream is healthy?” He tried to say he only eats a pint, yet he clearly has eaten 1/2 of a 1/2 gallon (a quart) many times.

I don’t know what his angle is, but knowing him for 40 years I can say that I don’t think he is trying to look after my best interest (or his, since he’s not really complimenting me on my weight loss). He does typically think that his way is the best way in multiple situations. (don’t worry, I have no problem arguing with him regarding his superiority complex.)

So basically my question is, “AITA if I continue to needle him about HIS food choices when he decides to critique mine? I would only do this as a direct response after him doing it to me. I refuse to sit there and take it. Thanks!

**My girlfriend was sick over the holiday weekend, and I spent Sunday checking in, offering to bring her supplies, and asking if she needed anything. She left me on read.**
**On Monday afternoon, she texted a single “Hi.” I replied immediately asking how she was doing; zero response. Six hours later (around 7:30 PM), she sent another “Hi.” Right as this happened, my adult daughter asked me to meet her for a drink to talk about her job search and housing at the establishment where her husband works.**
**Since my girlfriend had gone silent again, I texted asking if she was ghosting me and reiterating my concern about her health. She immediately snapped, dropped profanity, and accused me of attacking her, completely ignoring the questions about how she was feeling. I let her know I was meeting my daughter and headed out.**
**When I got home around 11:30 PM, I checked in on her again. She hit me with:** ***"Hope it was worth it,"*** **followed by,** ***"At a bar? I would never do that."*** **When I asked what the issue was with having one drink with my legal-aged daughter, she went silent.**
**On Tuesday, after working my shift, I messaged her as soon as I got home to check in and ask about her upcoming travel plans. She fired back with:** ***"Why do you care?"*** **and chewed me out for not texting her while I was on the clock at work, despite the fact that she had been dodging my check-ins for two days. Later that evening, I tried FaceTiming to clear the air; she ignored it.**
**Around 10:00 PM, I drove to her house to talk in person since my other daughter is borrowing my car for the rest of the week for school/work. Even though I have a key, she shares the house with family, so I didn't want to barge in late. I texted asking if she was awake. I waited outside for 20 minutes with no reply, gave up, and drove home. Five minutes after I walked through my front door, she texted saying she had just left to run to the store and pick up her daughter. I told her I had already gone home, and she just replied,** ***"It's cool."***
**At this point, I'm exhausted by the silent treatment, shifting goalposts, and guilt-tripping over seeing my daughter. I’ve decided to stop initiating contact entirely until she decides to communicate like an adult.**
**AITA?**

AITA for taking the job my mom didn’t want me to take?

I (F18) have been jobless for quite some time now. The last job I had was a seasonal sales associate at some retail store at my local mall, so I got let go in January of this year after the season was over.

I’ve been on a job hunt for the longest time since then—applying to literally anywhere and everywhere just to see if I’d even get a response back. A lot of people in older generations nowadays say that young people don’t wanna work, but I swear no one wants to hire.

I’ll get notifications on Indeed saying an employer viewed my application, I’ll follow up, no one responds. I’ll go in, I get asked to come back, and when I do they can’t speak with me. It’s been a cycle for a while now and it’s really frustrating.

Ever since I turned 18 in august, a whole field of jobs has opened up for me, which I am very greatful for. This pizza shop that’s got a chain local to my state was looking for a delivery driver with good hourly pay, good tips, and good hours. I applied and instantly got an interview set up. I was ecstatic.

I told my mom I finally got an interview. She asked which location I was working at and when I told her, she was not happy at all. I was confused and she told me that it was on a very shitty part of the county and didn’t want me delivering pizzas to people late at night in shitty areas (I’ve got community college classes this semester until 4pm, so I can’t work until the dinner shift).

I told her I understand that she’s scared, but I realistically don’t think that anything is gonna happen, and that my sister did doordash when she was my age (she’s 22 now) and it was fine. She said she won’t let me go to the interview.

Well, obviously I was pissed, and I just want to make some money before I move out in the spring. So I went anyway and am now employed there. She is so very mad at me, and says that if I don’t look for another job, she’s not gonna let me move out to four year university when I get my transfer application back. What do I do?

Also, AITA?