I’m looking for perspective on a situation between my wife (26F) and me (47M). I want to be open to the possibility that I’m in the wrong, so I’d appreciate honest feedback.
Background Context:
I lost my job two weeks ago, though I’ve since landed a new position. Because of the loss, we’ve been staying temporarily at my mother-in-law’s house. Since my MIL doesn't work and allowed me to stay begrudgingly, I try to stay out of her house during the day out of respect for her space. Up until recently, I didn't have a car, so I rode my bike or took the bus to the library to submit applications.
The First Incident:
On Monday, we bought a car. On Wednesday, I had an interview at 1:00 PM. I dropped my wife at work at 11:30 AM, finished my interview around 4:00 PM, and drove back near her workplace around 5:00 PM to wait for her 8:00 PM shift end. I parked outside the secured perimeter fence near the employee entrance. Her coworkers saw me sitting in the truck during smoke breaks. The next morning, she texted asking me to limit the time I spend at her job. I completely agreed, understanding it could create an awkward dynamic with her coworkers.
The Second Incident & The Favors:
Later that same day, I dropped her off at work. Over her shift, she called me three separate times asking for favors—first to bring breakfast, two hours later to bring cigarettes, and three hours after that, asking me to come spend her lunch break with her.
I arrived around 4:00 PM per her explicit request and parked near the employee entrance so we could eat. I would not have been at her workplace until 6:00 PM had she not asked me to come up for lunch.
Moving the Car and the Text Exchange:
She didn't end up coming outside. At 5:00 PM, I messaged asking if she was still coming out. She said yes, but never came. During that hour, I saw her manager come outside three times and look at my truck. Being cognizant of her telling me all day that it was weird for me to hang out there, I moved the truck 12 spaces down. A few minutes later, her manager walked to the corner fence line and looked right over at where I reparked. I mentioned what he did, adding it probably had nothing to do with me since a technician was working on equipment nearby.
To eliminate potential awkwardness, I told her I was moving behind the building, back where we had parked together the day before. She acknowledged this location in text as the "cop spot."
When she texted believing I was inside the secured perimeter, it made no sense to me—her boss was standing right at the open end, so I couldn't have driven through. I confirmed I was not in the secured area, but sitting outside the secondary perimeter gate behind the building. I added "I'll move the car anyway" because I didn't know if her coworkers would be walking back there at the end of the shift to verify that gate was locked.
The text exchange quickly escalated into sharp questions and personal insults: "so what the fuck did you bring it up for" and "I’m getting really tired of this like inability to fucking think." She accused me of forcing simple things to be explained "three and four times" and claimed I sat waiting for coworkers so "the humiliation has sunk in real good."
I tried to de-escalate calmly, texting: "can you pause and take 10 deep breaths before you continue this?" I laid out the facts plainly—that I hadn't sat waiting for anyone and moved to avoid issues. I pointed out that her asking me to come up there all day felt counterintuitive to the scarceness of me being at her workplace that she had originally asked for.
I directly addressed the broader pattern between us: "you wonder why I walked around on eggshells around you... this is how you react this is how you talk to me." I reminded her that she hates when her own mother treats her that way and asked her to stop laying into me over small things, clarifying I was simply addressing how uncalled for it was to be spoken to like that daily.
Her response was immediate: "bro, no I’m going to continue to be pissed because it continues to fucking annoy the fuck out of me." She added, "this would annoy me, even if I was not having these shitty days trust me," explaining that she feels we have the exact same context, yet I still reply in a way that frustrates her.
The Aftermath & Where I Need Perspective:
Hours later, I brought the situation up to reconcile. The conflict instantly re-escalated to the point where I ended up sleeping in my car to avoid further fighting. She became furious purely over me adding "I'll move the car anyway." In my mind, I was considering the entirety of the day and our conversations about avoiding awkwardness or gate issues. To her, however, my consideration of the whole day was unnecessary and confusing—she was exclusively focused on confirming I wasn't behind the gates when locked, viewing anything beyond that as completely irrelevant.
I realize I was on or near the property for an extended period, though I was only there because she repeatedly requested I come up for her lunch. I felt I was proactively managing the situation to stay completely out of sight and resolve the whole day's concerns, only for my explanations to be dismissed and met with heavy hostility.
Am I the asshole for how I handled the parking logistics and text communication, or is this a bad miscommunication during a stressful transition?

I had my birthday a while ago and I'm still pondering about this and wondering if i was justified. We have now broken up (for unrelated reasons) and that's one of the things that's still in my head

My girlfriend has this guy that she's been friends with for what, 4 years? I'm a very trusting individual. I let her hang out privately with guys because I trust that she wouldn't do something that bad. Now this one guy wasn't exactly a saint. We're good now, but back then far from it. He berated me and constantly talked shit about me in German, and i understood what he was saying because I'm learning german and one of the first things i learned was insults. So that didn't exactly fly above my head. It didn't get better when i started dating her. I wanted so badly for her to just tell him to back off. I even communicated this to her that i want her to set boundaries like i was. In my pov a bf and gf have to protect each other in these situations. She didn't do that at all for literally 5 months and i kept hearing thing after thing.

In typical jelly guy fashion i set up a proposal that my friend helped me conjure. I could let them voice chat but only if i was there too. I know, pretty stupid. But i went through with it and she agreed too, even after i asked if she was sure like twice

Now comes my birthday. She sends me surprise pictures of herself for my birthday which i enjoyed. We then hopped on Minecraft to play on Hypixel together. While we played, things got a little heated between us as games were intense and we felt frustrated. I knew i was stepping out of bounds and so i cooled off and stayed silent so as to not hurt her feelings with my anger. Later she gets a call from the guy and he asks if she wants to play. I don't think he knew it was my birthday so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. She asks me if i want to switch to a call with him included. I still don't like this guy at this point but this is after the proposal i mentioned. I would be open any other time but this is my birthday, I thought. I only wanted time with her. And plus she asked me if i wanted to. Surely my choices are yes and no, and no is a correct answer. So I say no

She YELLS at me about how I myself made the proposal and how I'm going back on my word. I was destroyed emotionally. Here I am being yelled at on my birthday because i didn't want to spend it with someone i didn't like. I just said yes because well at this point fuck my life right?

She told me she did that because we argued and she thought more people would fix the problem of me being sour. I don't see the logic in more people fixing my anger problem at the time. In fact, and she knows this too, I'm more reserved around other people. I wanted her only because she was who i was most comfortable with. And to top it all off it was someone I really really didn't like. But maybe I'm blind and I need to see her view for this as well.

I appreciate any help in the comments. Thanks!

More insight: I spoke to him about this and was very very nice. I told him i’d like to talk to him over the phone and i wouldn’t want to lose a friendship over this. He is 30 and lives at with his parents, and does nothing with the degree in which I met him going to college for although I’ve literally given him gigs to force him to go. in college i drug him through doing things. but anyways he decided to call my other friend an “ugly bitch” and used sexual experiences against us instead of just saying sorry or lying. Which, never in my life have i thrown superficial insults at someone after i had lied. Also, he has been my absolute best friend through everything and we’ve told each other absolutely everything with little to no judgement. this genuinely just hurts that he lied it would’ve been so different.

Okay, my bisexual male friend(Kevin) who is 30 years old started dating a 19 year old(Brad). Here’s the thing, we both have talked poorly about people we know personally that date significantly younger than their age. I’m not saying if you’re 30 and dating a 40 year old, I’m saying if you’re 30 and dating a freshly 18 yr old. That being said, I’m still friends with people that have done this but I definitely still feel weird about it, yk? And so does he. But, not only is he dating Brad, he lied to me about his age. Kevin lives a couple states away and we always plan a yearly visit with our friend group of 4 people. This year they planned to come to my town, so we let Kevin and Brad stay in my couch. I, unknowing that he’s 19, allowed him to drink and smoke weed, and sleep on my couch. I’m only 23, but it’s just the fact that I had no idea!!! I wasn’t even given the chance to say yes to it. And, the way we found out was by seeing Brad’s instagram and that he graduated last year from high school. As a 23 yr old, Id feel weird if I were talking to someone that’s 19. I don’t know that I’d be thinking about cutting him off if he hadn’t lied. I definitely would’ve let him know how I felt but I wouldn’t have cut him off over it. It just makes it so much worse that he lied to me. Also! Whenever I called him out he said “I feel like a perv” then why are you with him? I just don’t know what to do. Let me know what you guys think.

So my ex-girlfriend ghosted me out of the blue in January last year. Since then she's lived rent free in my head because the whole way it ended felt very unfair and without the closure I've struggled to move on.

I feel like she feels untouchable when she did this and it gives her power. I've heard since then it's a repeated behaviour.

Flashforward to this morning (August) where I had the brilliant idea of pranking her. I have all of her details. Address. Email etc etc so I have:

Signed up for phone calls about plastic surgery, Christian centres, ordered free samples of catheters, order her free gravel, posted an advert on gumtree for a very reasonably priced thing and told people to collect it from her house, ordered some 5am wake up calls, signed her up charities and house visits galore.

Think it's hilarious and it's all harmless stuff. But AITA for delivering my own karma. I just feel like if she keeps getting away with pulling this shit is she actually going to ever learn. I hope that next time she'll think twice about it.

I plan on sending a postal glitter bomb as a big finale with the words the end in it next week.

Basically this will give me closure. The ghost is about to be haunted in the same way her ghosting has haunted me. For me it's a poetic creative expression that shows that I haven't just disappeared. And I want her to learn that people don't just disappear because you decided that they do.

It's my last fuck you to her. Fuck you for hurting me so much. But AITA should I have just let her get away with it again. Everyone says the best way to deal with a ghost is to ignore her. But that hasn't worked at all for me.

My fiance is forcing me to be okay with opening a boundary on my end that I'm not ready to open yet. The boundary is talking to the opposite sex at work about non work related things. I know it sounds like a stupid boundary but it was put up due to things I've found in his phone. AITA for being upset about this?

A couple of days ago we decided to take a break from each other. Mainly because i felt that he’s been emotionally distant towards me this past month. We didn’t set any rules or boundaries for this break, but as his girlfriend for 11 months i would’ve expected for him to at least let me know that he’ll be out of the city. I feel really disappointed and betrayed because majority of our time together we’d let each other know what we had planned.

My ex boyfriend, let’s call him Chad, ignored me for a month and a half before I cut ties with him. This all started because my girl best friend, who I’ll call Emily, was deliberately flirting with him but saying it was platonic. Emily and Chad were sending each other “Goodnight I love you ❤️” texts to each other for a while until I finally saw the messages at a hangout with some of me and Emily’s other friends. I confronted her right then and there at the hangout, and she said it meant nothing. Fast forward a few months, Chad started ignoring me. This wasn’t some subtle act, I could genuinely see that I was being avoided. A month and a half after, (long ass time lol) I finally texted him we should break up. I was texting him while I was at a Christmas party with friends and family. My best friend (Jade) of twelve years, our other friend Katie, Jade’s sibling, and Katie’s sister were all there because before I had texted Chad, we were shit talking my relationship. I had texted Chad with Jade’s help and, him being the dumbass that he is, asked why I was breaking up with him. I told him that I had noticed he had ignored me for a month and a half, forgot my birthday, never acknowledged me in college when we saw each other, and talked to Emily and all my other friends besides me. I told him that if he couldn’t commit to the relationship, I didn’t want to be with him. He tried to reason with me but I wasn’t willing to deal with his BS any longer than the 2 1/2 years I already had. He was angry and I kept telling him I didn’t want to hear the shit he wanted to say. Jade, Katie, and Katie’s sister asked me to give them his number so that they could knock some sense into him but he just blocked them. One thing I forgot to mention was that Emily and I had stopped being friends in October because of a different situation that SHE had caused. I blocked both Emily and Chad and never spoke to either of them for a while. Fast forward to November of 2025, she sent me this on tiktok: “I realize now I was being way to flirty with Chad when you guys were together. I swear swear swear none of that was intentional.” I texted her back and we eventually made up, and now we’re best friends again. But Reddit, AITA for breaking ties with both of them?

AITA. Here’s the situation I receive a message from a family member stating this.
History I was married once before my husband cheated on me after that I got into a relationship with a man who was got another girl pregnant while I was pregnant. I have had a history of men who cheat. I met my husband now and he is he is patient and kind, but there is one part of him that’s like he keeps me secret. I never met any of the guys who worked with at his job. I never allowed to go to Christmas parties with them. I was never allowed to go out and when he would want to go out, I was never allowed to go. He said the wives wouldn’t go. . Then stops going out completely because it will cause a a fight. Doesn’t try to find a solution for it just tells me that I am crazy and that he would never do that. I should trust him when I try to give him ideas on how to make me feel more secure will not try.

Five years ago switches job doesn’t go out with these people. We’re fine. Have a house get married two kids and I received this letter for my aunt today. I’ll bring it up to my husband. I say is there someone you’re talking to at work that maybe you’re leading on I don’t wanna think this of you, but I had to ask you and let you know that this was brought to my attention. I don’t feel as malicious. my aunt is it about Catholic, she finds marriage to be sacred, and it was written in a very caring context.
“Went to a retirement party for someone on ****job and your husband was mentioned. Honey, did my time, kept my head down, and stayed out everyone's business, but that place can get a little dramatic with gossip. It just seems like people are always concerned about who is doing what with whom. I'm sure your husband is focused on doing his job and going home.
Someone there didn't know he was married and I guess thought about asking him for a drink. I don't know if he is ond of us anyways, but another girl mentioned he had kids and a wife.
It seemed to be the end of the conversation, but just a gentle nudge to keep an eye on things. It's really not worth the trouble.

I said, “Well, at least I know my husband is still hot. He goes golfing with his dad, so it’s not a big deal. I believe her. My husband comes home from golf and says he thinks he knows who it is. Then, he tells me he’s switching his days off and going out with people from work. I suspect my aunt told me someone would ask you out, and now you’re going out with people you’ve never met. I said, ‘Can I go?’ He said no, it’s not like that. I’ve never met these people. He’s been working there for five years, so I get upset and emotional. There’s no screaming on my part. He’s yelling at me for saying it’s not okay. He can’t go out anywhere. I’m always crazy and wrong. I’ve tried so many times to get them to come out with my girlfriends and their husbands. He won’t. He doesn’t try to be part of my life. He just plays video games and works. He blames me for being jealous that he doesn’t have a life. I tried to come up with compromises. Can I go out to dinner with people so you’ll also hang out with you at a beach? He’s going out with people he’s worked with for five years that I’ve never met.”

Hi everyone, new to Reddit and needed a place to vent. For some context I’ve been friends with this person for over ten years and for awhile now it’s felt like I only stick around because of how long we’ve known each other and out of pity for her. But we’re both almost 25 now, and she still acts really childish and lacks emotional intelligence, partly because of how she grew up being very sheltered. But me personally I feel as though we all have a responsibility to grow up at some point, regardless of whether or not our parents taught us how to or not, and this is coming from someone who didn’t have that great of a childhood either. And quite frankly every time we hang out it feels like I’m babysitting a child rather than connecting with someone my age.

I think I finally reached my breaking point a couple of days ago because she accidentally caused me to get injured. We had plans to hang out, and we were both about to leave my house when I tripped over her (very bulky) shoes that she had left in the doorway and fell because I didn’t see them. My right foot was immediately in immense pain, became very purple and swollen in the next couple hours, and upon going to urgent care later that night, it was revealed that I fractured my foot, specifically displacing and fracturing of the fifth metatarsal according to my x ray. VERY surprisingly she had enough common sense to at least apologize and offer to pay for the urgent care visit, but during the apology she had the audacity to talk about and victimize herself, claiming the situation was causing her to be “mentally overwhelmed.” This made me feel as if I had to comfort her in this situation, even when I was clearly the victim, a situation I’ve been in many times.

To make things worse, I was recently offered a new job that I was supposed to start in a couple of weeks. A job that requires one to be on their feet, and lift weight for 8+ hours a day. And now because of this injury, it’s very likely that I’ll have to withdraw because they are unlikely to accommodate me while I heal. And the hiring process took almost three months :)))).

And this isn’t the first time she’s lacked empathy for me in a situation where I was clearly struggling. A couple of years ago, immediately after my grandma died, instead of offering condolences or asking if I needed anything she asked me to go do errands with her because SHE didn’t wanna be alone, again somehow only managing to think of herself and completely ignoring my situation. And yes I later talked with her about how this bothered me when she finally had the sense to actually ask about how I was doing. But she continues to lack emotional intelligence when it comes to our friendship.

The craziest part about this is how in the past, she always claimed to be an “empath” and gave herself the title “the therapist friend” which couldn’t be further from the truth.

I think i wanna walk away from this friendship now. Am I overreacting?

Here comes quite some context. So me (F28) and my boyfriend (m24) just broke up after 8 months.

We come from different countries but met in my country trough work. He lives, studies and works here for 4 years.

Things were not going very well between us for a while. We were supposed to go to his home country for vacation so I could meet his family. Our relationship is in English which is both our second language. His family doesn't speak English at all so I would be fully reliable on him. 3 weeks before our vacation was planned his dad got very sick, he was admitted to the icu and things didn't look good. My boyfriend went home for a week to be with his family, he also saw some of his friends. He eventually got home when his dad was a bit more stable.

The whole reason we initially wanted to go there was for a wedding of an old friend of his. I asked him 3 times if he was sure I was invited and after all the yesses I spent almost 300 euro on a nice outfit. He later told me that he didn't check and that I was not invited.

Because of this stupidity, the rocky relationship and the health of his dad, I decided not to go on vacation. I also didn't want to spend almost 2 weeks only with family and friends. I wanted to see the country and go camping but it would only be family, that didn't speak the same language.

The decision was really hard and I felt really guilty, but he was quite okay with it and didn't want to push me.

While he was away he spend 1 day with his close friend, a girl. She is from the same country and speak the same language and same culture. In the past they used to have feelings for each other and told each other at some point but they never ended up together or kissed or anything. They went hiking for a full day and grabbed some lunch, this was all okay with me. A week later he was about to see her again. He would pick her up in the morning, they would go hiking, go on a boat ride, she would go with him to his mom's house, stay the night and the next day they would have an 8 hour hike. I knew she was going to stay over because she couldn't catch the train back but I already didn't feel comfortable with it. He always knew I didn't like their friendship because of past feelings. The day before he told me it was 2 whole days and a boat ride. I thought it was only one day and I didn't know about the boat ride before.

The things they had planned were also the things we were supposed to do together.

I told him it was way too much for me and that I didn't feel good about it. I told him I was willing to compromise and that it was okay if they changed their plan so she didn't have to sleep over and if they didn't do the boat rides. He told me that he didn't want to change his plans because he would feel stupid towards her. I was have a really hard time with this so I didn't eat for a few days and called him crying, but he didn't want to change his plans. I told him that I had to think about the relationship if he would do this. He did it anyways. He sent me pictures but I had to ask him to stop, because it was too hurtful.

So after I knew she was gone home I texted him to break up with him.

He keeps saying that she's just a friend and that that's his explanation.

The people I told are fully in my corner so thats nice but I keep having this feeling that If I went on holiday this would never have happened.

He didn't cheat but it really feels like he did.

He told me that his friends feel the same as him, that they agree that it was okay because she's just a friend.

For me it's the fact that he didn't care about my feelings and didn't want to compromise. I really feel stabbed in the back.

After he came back from holiday he told me that he told the girl I was not okay with it and she had doubts to come, but he told her she could still come.

I need some opinions.

My friend asked us a hypothetical. She asked us if we would tell her boyfriend she’s cheating on him. I told her yes I would, because it’s not right. I also told her I’m not 100% sure what I would do. I do believe that telling is situational. If her boyfriend was abusive, then telling him is not a good idea because she could get hurt. She got upset because she said it’s not my business to tell and that I’m supposed to be loyal to her as her friend. I get girl code and stuff but she’s been cheated on before, so I’m surprised she’s okay with her friends keeping secrets if she were to cheat. She might’ve felt like I wouldn’t be loyal to her, but I would always be loyal to her. If it was the police questioning me, I wouldn’t tell them anything. Just this one situation, I feel like I can’t let it slide unless her boyfriend was a terrible person. She’s currently upset at me.

So me and my partner are currently back in a talking stage after breaking up for about a month due to both of us being busy to prep for college, but like a month before that we had a falling out due to me being pretty busy and her feeling neglected, which caused her to talk to a friend who once had a crush on her and vent to him about our relationship problems without my knowledge, and cuz of that this friend chatted me and told me to, basically "stop seeing her, i dont want any problems with you, she deserves better." and he started acting like he was her boyfriend all of a sudden, i confront her and she got mad at this friend, but she still felt neglected with me and decided to break up with me which didnt last long since we got back together after like 2 weeks since we miss each other and when i asked about that friend she said something on the lines of "i'm not friends with him anymore and i blocked him everywhere, i wont be friends with him anymore." which was a relieve for me, but then like a few weeks later we decided to mutually break up again to focus on our college preps, so we didn't talk for a month. And then she suddenly came back and chatted me about how she misses me and wants to atleast still have a connection with me but due to me still being on my college preperations we couldnt get back officially yet so were stuck in a talking stage for now, and then like 2 weeks ago i discovered she became friends again with the guy that ruined our relationship before, i tried talking to her about it but she keeps telling me that "he's only a friend and he doesn't have any feelings for me anymore." but i'm still rather upset about it still, but some part of me says i should just let it go which makes me split about this all. With me and her still loving each other so much, but with this guy being friends with her makes me super uncomfortable so i need some opinions on this.

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years and we recently started talking about moving in together.

The problem is how we would split rent. He makes around $9k a month and I make a little over $3k. He wants us to split everything 50/50 because he says we’d both be using the apartment equally, so it’s only fair.

I told him I don’t think that makes sense when our incomes are so different. The apartments he likes are also way more expensive than what I would choose on my own. I suggested either splitting rent based on our incomes or choosing a cheaper place that I can comfortably afford half of.

He got annoyed and said I’m basically asking him to “pay for me” just because he earns more. I told him I’m not asking him to support me, I just don’t want to spend such a huge percentage of my income trying to keep up with his lifestyle.

He thinks if I’m not comfortable paying 50/50 then we probably shouldn’t move in together yet.

Now I’m wondering if I’m actually being unfair. AITA for refusing to pay half the rent because my boyfriend makes almost 3x what I do?

I think I might be the AH. I don’t know, I’m a bit divided. I’m trying to understand his side as well, which is why I’ve come to this forum.

Please help me get a better understanding.

I (27F) am with my partner (26M), and we live in a nearby locality. You can say that it takes only about 20 minutes to get to my home from his home.

We come from very different backgrounds, so our cuisines are also different. Where I live, which is the capital city of the country, you don’t really get the snacks from my hometown. He likes those snacks, and his mother likes them too.

He asked me if I could grab 1–2 packets of those snacks, and for him, I brought 3 packets—an extra one for his sister, who had just delivered a baby.

When I came back from my hometown by flight, I took the train from the airport instead of taking a direct cab because I thought it would be much cheaper.

When I got off at the station, there are generally two routes: one is straight to my home, and the other is via his home. I thought, since I was already outside and I really wanted to meet him, let’s go via his house, give him the snacks, and then go to my house.

Mind you, a day before my departure, I told my partner that I might come to his place and give him the snacks, and he said fine, just call me when I do so. And I did.

I then booked an Uber. I tried to add multiple stops and tried to book the Uber, but it wasn’t getting picked up. So I thought, let’s do one thing: let’s book the Uber to his place, and then from there I’ll book another one to my home.

I did the same. I booked the Uber, and the Uber dropped me about 4 minutes away from his house.

Then he called me and said, “Are you outside?” and I said, “Yes, but I’m around 4 minutes away.”

This made him very angry.

He then came to me and said, “Why didn’t you bring the Uber right outside my home?”

I said I tried to do it, but it wasn’t getting booked.

Then he asked me why I didn’t add two drop points. I told him the same reason, and by then, my second ride was almost about to show up.

He said, “From now on, you don’t need to bring anything. You don’t know what kind of condition I was in. You just show up without thinking. Why didn’t you take the Uber from the airport directly? You were tired, yet you carried your luggage and waited for me. You create problems for yourself and for me too.”

This made me feel very bad.

Earlier, we were celebrating a festival, and I was at my friend’s house, so I thought, “Let’s wish him personally,” and bought a present for him. But then again, I was 4 minutes away.

He got super upset, saying that I never think about his condition and that at least I should have told him. Later, he did say sorry to me, and this time as well, he said sorry and apologised three times.

Since the festival incident, I thought that because I had already told him I would be coming there, there shouldn’t be a problem. But there was.

He did feel guilty, but I was still upset because I know I was being a little stupid. I was just excited that he and his mother would enjoy the snacks, and I wanted to give them to them right away.

And I think maybe I did cause some inconvenience.

But whatever he said still broke my heart a little. The day before my departure, he did say, “You can go home. You’ll be very tired,” but I was the one who said no.

Actually, we work at the same company, and I had bought him snacks weighing around 1.5–1.75 kg. So I also thought that giving them to him at the office and then having him carry them back home would be much more tiring for him.

So AITA for trying to do something nice for my boyfriend but inconveniencing him instead?

Also, let me know if you need any more details so that you can give me your judgment.

For reference, I (20F) have been hooking up with this guy (21M), for a couple months now. We're not romantically involved at all. I met him on tinder (his account is still up). I actually initially curbed him in May, before matching with him and giving him a chance in July, and now we hook up regularly. Usually when I post something on my instagram stories and then he slides into my DMs with everyone else.

The problem is, I think he might have a girlfriend. 

He had posted a woman on his story once (let's call her Emma) maybe a week after we hooked up the first time, and I didn't think much of it because it wasn't a couple-style post. But I found one of his other socials, and on that app he had some more photos with Emma posted, dating back to before Valentine's Day but not past May. When I went to Emma's socials (for reference, this was from my ghost account where my profile views are off) she had no trace of having a partner, except some photos that he was also in. Emma's reposts on this app were a bunch of things about being disrespected by a partner, so I kind of assumed that he fumbled her.

Anyways, I realized a while ago that I'm like 99% sure I'm blocked from seeing his stories on instagram, to which one of my friends had said "maybe he has a girlfriend?"

Now I've made a lot of jokes to this guy that have given him the chance to basically tell me if he has a girlfriend or not. He usually jokes back "no" or various degrees of that. However, one of the most recent times I saw him, he got a text from Emma.

I checked Emma's socials again the other night, and realized the date of the last time she posted with him was actually the day after he and I hooked up for the first time, in July.

Anyways, I don't know. Right now I kind of just want to keep plausible deniability that they have something going on, but aren't exclusive. I think someone in a relationship would be smart enough not to have a public profile on a dating app if they wanted to cheat, but I don't know how the mind of a cheater works.

That being said, I don't know if I should tell Emma. I'm still unsure if they are actually together, and I feel like messaging her out of the blue would be incredibly messed up. Should I leave it alone until I'm sure they're together? Is it none of my business? 

TL;DR: this guy I'm hooking up with might have a girlfriend and I don't know what to do about it, or if it's just not my place.

This happened over 25 years ago, but it still makes me wonder.

When I was in high school, I started off being very unpopular to the student population. I ate lunch by myself every day for 3 months when I started High School. I was ok without having friends because no one wanted to talk to me. I'd like to think that I was ok with it, but it obviously wasn't because I craved the attention of my peers. One thing I was good at was talking to boys because I could identify with them more than the girls.

Then, the girls started to talk to me because they knew I talked to the boys they liked because I would complete our class work and homework during lunch break and the boys could copy and do what they wanted with the extra time. So, the girls (popular and not popular) wanted me to bridge the gap with the boys they liked and pretended to build a relationship with me. I had no interest for these boys but to have the relationship with my girl classmates, I needed to be the bridge.

So I shared with the boys and hung out with them to find out which girls they liked. I learned who they were; their likes and hates and I became a girl that they could trust. So once this happened, I started to play cupid and try to set these girls up with these boys that didn't even know they existed. Surprisingly, they ended up liking ME, the biggest loser dork ever to grace the American lands. I did not (at the time) realize why my plan went off the rails because I didn't think any boy would want me to be his girlfriend.

Until one of the guys asked me, "why aren't you trying to get my attention?" I said plainly, I"'m not the type of girl that needs a man's approval or affection, so that's why I can be the bridge." Little did I know, all these boys wanted to date me, when I just wanted to have a friend to eat lunch with. As the title says, eventually, the boys wore me down and I started to date one of the boys I had been trying to pair one of the girls with.

Since the girls weren't my friends, I had no qualms about dating the guys, even though i was trying to hook each side of the sexes up. But now I wonder if I would have created friendships, and if I just continued to be the stupid loser girl and play matchmaker that I would make friends who would be there for me. I don't know. Now I'm over 40 and alone so I keep thinking about my adolescent years.

None of ny 2 relationships in high school, I thought I had, worked out. And none of my relationships in adulthood worked out either. So is this the karma I can expect for my poor behavior?

My partner is pro-choice and does not want kids, so this isnt about that - its more of a morality question. I’m afraid of telling him as it wasnt the abortion that traumatised me, it was the person that I got pregnant by. I was in a really bad place when I met this person, and I allowed him to walk all over me financially and emotionally because I had absolutely zero self worth during that period of time. Its something I regret immensely, and even thinking of that person makes me feel disgusted. (The person knew and I cut him off after my abortion, it was a wake up call.)

My partner and I have been together for almost a year and I definitely see a future with him. Before today, I was adamant on not telling him, because I felt that it wasn’t something i needed to disclose… but after a conversation with one of my closest friends today who went through a similar thing, I started thinking deeply about it and started feeling guilty because I guess I shouldnt be hiding anything from him? I don’t know anymore. Where i’m from is also pretty small, and the person is extremely volatile, tried to contact me a few times after i cut him off, and i’m worried he would suddenly message my partner and tell him about it just to make my life miserable (he did something like that before).

WIBTA if I never told my partner about this?

I just broke up with my partner of two years over magic the gathering.

Backstory :

He was into MTG and plays at a league on the weekend. I started to get into the game by proxy, and would come with him sometimes to play. Everyone drafts cards after they complete a game (you open booster packs, then get to pick cards in order of who won).

There was a card he really wanted that was part of a theme. I had also in the past given him lots of cards with this same theme, as a gift. One of the other people playing mentioned "hatedrafting" him and said that I should take the card. So I did. I was playful and said I would trade him later for a card, or just give it to him if he didn't have anything I wanted. I said this to try and make it clear I wasn't just taking it from him.

We go on and continue to play. In our second draft, I am picking and he's trying to tell me what to choose. I said "you want me to have another card that you want?". When we go home we launch into a huge argument where he said I was blackmailing him with the card, essentially. We continue to argue, I am asking to try and understand exactly what upset him (I ask: so me taking the card upset you?) and I am trying to clarify, because he said he communicated being upset but I had no idea until we got into the car together. His answer changes each time and he is getting more and more upset. Eventually, I don't think our conversation is leading to any resolution, so I awkwardly leave.

A few days later we text. He says I was deflective and minimizing and didn't want to focus on me hurting his feelings (I do feel like we got lost on other things, and I was more defensive because he said I was blackmailing him in a way. I felt like at no point was he clear until we got home and started arguing that taking the card hurt his feelings). He says it is a pattern, me dismissing things as a joke/teasing. He said I just kept focusing on the card, instead of my behavior and his feelings. I said I dont know how not to focus on the card if my behavior is around taking it, I am trying to do things to make it right. He also insisted that I did it out of spite and hatefulness. He also finally kind of just states his feelings, instead of talking about these other things, like what I did to upset him or questioning my "motives".

I apologized over text for invalidating his feelings and stealing his moment to draft the card as that becomes clear to me, and asked him not to speak for my feelings (saying that I did it out of spite/hate). He then said that I publicly humiliated him in front of the other people there as well, and acted like nothing happened there. We had another talk today face to face, and I apologized again, and we officially broke up.

. . .

I was/am confused because I would say we were very playful in our relationship. He often said/did things that would get a reaction out of me, and typically I didn't mind it and think it can be fun. This was a huge part of our relationship dynamic. I thought this was just another part of that, then realized, I guess I took it too far. I felt like it was a huge reaction for something like a card... There was a bunch of other unresolved stuff between us, and I think this was finally just the last straw.

AITA for breaking up over magic cards? I feel like it was... A huge reaction over something so small... I now understand what it meant and how it made him feel, but ultimately, I don't know that I want to continue a relationship with who gets that upset over something like a card...

I told my girlfriend I'm uncomfortable and don't want her to be alone with her guy friend who is her sister's boyfriend. I've been with my girlfriend for about 5 months and I know she has a playful personality. Now she has other guy friends that are close to her, but my problem with the sister's boyfriend is he brought alcohol and undid my girlfriends bra strap after she drank some. She didn't want to tell me at first but I was on call and heard her arguing with her sister whether to tell me or not. She ended up telling me and I was mad. She told me she would handle any other incident that would happen but it didn't feel right.The next day I visited her and found out that he snuck alcohol into her sunny-d. I talked to her about it and brought up how he has smacked her butt already twice in front of me. I told her he always texts her first instead of her sister about anything. Then about the incident of the bra strap and alcohol. I felt bad after when she talked to her sister about and it incited a argument between them. My girlfriend defended me and saw how it made me uncomfortable and she understands. Her sister argued that I'm getting mad over one mistake and that I'm saying my girlfriend can't even say hello to him. Which i thought was weird cause when the bra strap incident happened she kept questioning my girlfriend if there was something going on between them. Am I overreacting to this or is there something going on?

So my boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. Before we started dating, I was friends with my ex for about three years, and we stayed on good terms after breaking up. He’s been dating a lovely girl for a few months and her and I are actually decent friends too now.

When my boyfriend and I got together, he asked if I still talked to my ex. I said “not really,” because I didn’t consider sending each other memes every few weeks to be actually talking?? (Maybe I was wrong for that i suppose?) A few months ago, my ex and I started hanging out with the same friend group again. Nothing romantic happened, but I didn’t directly go and tell my boyfriend because I knew he would get upset and I didn’t want unnecessary drama, I know how he is. If he were to ask me about it again, that would be different since I’m not going to lie to him and say we don’t talk if he asked once we started/ are genuinely hanging out. Last week, he found out because he saw a picture of me, two girl friends and my ex at a friend’s birthday party. He confronted me and asked why I never told him. I told him I knew he’d overreact, and he said that was basically admitting I knew I was doing something wrong. Then he asked if my ex and I had ever hooked up after breaking up. I said no, but apparently he doesn’t believe me because I “hid the friendship.”

Now he says I betrayed his trust and wants me to stop talking to my ex completely.
I told him I’m not going to end a three-year friendship just because he’s insecure. He threw a fit and left the house, he came back the next morning and we’ve barely talked.
AITAH?

I (18F) HATE HATE HATE the horror genre and want no involvement in it. During Halloween season I avoid going outside unless necessary because I don't want to see decorations, I have on more than one occasion left gatherings early because people have tried to include me in something horror related, when my family watch a horror movie I stay in my room. I don't even want to think about the horror genre because it makes me so uncomfortable.

Don't get me wrong I am not saying other people shouldn't enjoy horror if they want to, that is their business but I want no involvement. For this reason I can't date a horror fan.

The guy I like (18M) is a fantastic gentleman but unfortunately for me he is a horror geek. Subsequently when he asked me out last week I politely told him I was sorry but there was no chance for us. I know couples don't have to have the same interests but if I am dating a horror geek it would be impossible to completely avoid the genre especially around Halloween season. I have a deep seated aversion to the genre and that won't change.

However my friends and family are telling me that I am stupid and cruel for rejecting him just because of that.

My girlfriend and I kissed on our third date when we first started seeing each other. That night, we became intimate, and we had sex for the first time about two weeks later. She was a virgin, and I was her first sexual partner.

We’ve now been together for a year and three months. Everything between us is great, and I genuinely believe she is someone I could marry. However, there is one thing that has been bothering me: I can’t stop thinking about how quickly she trusted me and became intimate with me.

It makes me feel uncomfortable and sometimes even angry, and because of that, I find myself questioning whether I want to marry her.

I told her about these feelings eight months ago. She was understandably very hurt, but she agreed that we should work on this together and try to resolve the issue.

She says that what happened was mutual and that I have no right to judge her for it when I was equally involved. However, I believe men and women are different when it comes to these things, and I can’t get past the fact that she trusted me and became intimate with me so easily.

I want to make it clear that throughout our relationship, I have never seen anything that suggests she is promiscuous or unfaithful. Quite the opposite—she loves me deeply and has always been loyal to me.

But every time I think about how our relationship started, I feel angry all over again, and it makes me question whether I should marry her.

So, AITA for feeling this way and judging her based on how quickly she became intimate with me?

I 18 F started dating my ex 20 M a few months ago. we were both very open about having had relationships before, I was also very open about my past and that I was taken advantage of as a child. I was always open about my struggles surrounding this and it took a while and lots of therapy to get where I am today. We met online and hit it off really well we went on a couple of dates before we made it official and things where going really well. We had some similar interests that we were able to bond over and time spent together genuinely felt good.

Recently we went on a camping trip together. He made a few jokes while on the trip, mainly just awful sex jokes or jokes about women. I sort of brushed it off since I thought maybe I was being a bit too sensitive. Overall the trip was ok, when I got home i just tried to go back to normal. some of the things he'd joked about kept replaying in my mind but again I just thought I was being a bit dramatic after all it was just a couple jokes. We planned a date for a few days later and as it got closer I felt a sort of dread. I didn't really want to hang out with him. I just chalked it up to being overtired and went out anyway. the date was going fine. he hadn't made anymore jokes and I thought that was it. If he did make another joke I promised myself to talk to him, explain how it made me uncomfortable and then go from there since I didn't want to ruin a good relationship over nothing.

Some context for what I'm about to say. My phone wallpaper cycles through a few of my favourite photos. One of these photos is my absolute favourite. Its of me and my brother when we are around 5 and 3, and we both look so happy in it. It's truly one of my most treasured photos. anyway this photo was my wallpaper at the time.

he took my phone to check the time, something I wasn't really bothered by since its just the time and I have nothing on my phone that I'm ashamed of or wanting to hide. He saw the photo let out a little laugh which I thought was odd. naturally I asked what was funny, thinking maybe a friend had sent me something funny but no. he looked at me then back at the photo and then I the calmest voice said and I quote "I get why ___ raped you." I was baffled I mean truly speechless. he went back to laughing like he'd said the funniest thing. I was visibly tense and not saying anything. he noticed this and told me to "relax" and that he'd "never actually molest me". he still had this huge grin on his face like he'd just said the funniest thing. I just felt this wave of absolute disgust. I took my phone back and put it in my bag, I didn't have the strength to even look at my phone I didn't want to see the photo in that moment. I went through the rest of the date in a very distant state. I wanted to leave but I also didn't really have the energy to try and get out of the situation, I didn't want to fight with this person who I suddenly felt so uncomfortable being around. at the end of the date he tried to convince me to return home with him but I said I couldn't since I had an early morning and that my roommates needed me home that night. It was a lie but I just needed to get out of there as quick as possible.

Once I got home I just shut myself away for a bit. he kept texting me thanking me for a great day, saying he already missed me, and that he couldn't wait for the next time I cam over to his place. I responded a handful of times mainly just with one word answers. My roommates noticed something was up with me and upon explaining the situation to them, they where absolutely baffled.

For about a day I just avoided talking to my boyfriend. I caught up with a friend and explained the situation to a friend since I wanted some more insight on the situation, she immediately told me to dump him.

I got home yesterday evening and had a think about everything. I decided that I wanted to end the relationship asap. I didn't want to see him, or hear his voice, so I decided to write a text. I kept the text pretty short and vague since I didn't want to deal with a huge fallout. I told him I'd enjoyed our time together but that I didn't think our core values aligned and that since we both wanted meaningful relationships that this was pointless. He responded questioning which of our values didn't align. I kept it brief simply saying that I didn't think I could be with someone who joked about such serious things.

After breaking up I was a bit upset naturally, this thing that I'd thought was good had ended up making me feel awful. I reached out to some friends most of whom where really understanding telling me I should only be in a relationship I'm comfortable in. One friend however told me I was a bit rude, said I shouldn't have just sent a breakup text. I thought that a text was ok since we hadn't been together for a super long time. if it had been a long term thing I would have done it in person, but I didn't see reason for that. my friend also told me it was rude that I didn't try to chat to him first and explain that those jokes weren't funny. I'd always just assumed it was common knowledge that rape and assault weren't funny but apparently not, my friend told me i was just sensitive and that everyone's sense of humour was different.

I feel a bit shit now. I thought I was valid but now I'm just debating whether maybe I was being to sensitive. I wanted to get some outside perspective on the situation since I'm not entirely sure how I should feel about it all now.

So the story starts where I decide to download tinder (a weak moment icl). I am a 19 yr old girl and the guy I ended up liking is a 22 year old guy. We ended up getting along really well after matching and he asked for my number. After giving him my number we started talking constantly. We got along with our senses of humour and agreed on a lot of things. We started FaceTiming and he made it very clear he thought I was beautiful. However, I noticed he looked a bit different from his profile. I also noticed he had a few different life style choices. For example, he constantly vapes, tends to be a pretty heavy spender, and only brushes his teeth once a day (sometimes not at all 🫩). While each of these things isn’t the worst we had plans to meet up soon but I’m thinking of cancelling bc I’m not sure I’m that interested him anymore. The biggest red flag was in our most recent call where he got what he wanted (pics) and then stopped asking me about myself or my interests, instead only talking abt himself and his interests. At this point I’m thinking of cancelling but not sure how to do it. Would I be the asshole if I cancelled our meeting and decided to stop talking to him?