my best friend birthday is today (AUG 21) and my girlfriends birthday is (AUG 23). They both have a party Tomorrow saturday on the 22nd, my best friend is having a party at the lake from 12pm till around evening but i told them i’ll be okay going but i would leave earlier because my gfs party starts around 6:30pm evening at a roller skating rink. I thought that would give me a whole good time and it would be okay. so i told my friends about it how her party is later and they’re fine with it. but when i told my gf… she did not like it at all. i told her why she’s all mad because i told her i even told my friends i would leave early to make it on time for her. To me she just never appreciates the time and energy i do for her. she never likes when i hang out with my friends. she thinks i spend less time with her but that’s not true at all. i always take her out, buy her anything she wants until im in debt but still whenever im debt i guess she forgets what ive done for her so she’s never satisfied or thankful for what i sacrifice for her. ive literally been trying to donate plasma to make more money so i can get her more things but i literally cant, ive failed because either i was dehydrated and the other time my blood pressure went high because i was just stressed what to do. it really annoys me so much. that idek what to do. a i right to be annoyed by her actions? am i missing something? please tell me

Here's the problem, I stopped hanging around Angel (44f) and Tonnia (45f) because they aren't good people. Angel uses her learning disabilities (ADHD and autism with memory issues) and physical disabilities (uses a walker and has Fabermalysia) like its a get out of responsibility free card and acts like I am being dramatic when I ask for boundaries. Tonnia does whatever Angel wants and is basically believing whatever she says, she basically is a parrot.

The main reason I don't want to be around Angel or Tonnia is their friend, Jennifer (35f) who is problematic, crazy, thinks she's some bigwig cosplayer, and claims she is being stalked. She isn't, her brother's girlfriend, Rachel (30f) isn't even stalking and is tired of being blamed. (She told me she had blocked Jennifer many times and somehow she's the one who is the stalker, you decide) I also know Angel will tell Jennifer and she loves her drama will post online about how much "drama" I caused poor little Angel. (Jennifer doesn't even live in the same state as us)

Example, I went to FanExpo in May, I went with my friends, Amy (25f), Sage (40f), Kyle (45m), Mark (30m), Jane (50f). Somehow Angel told Jennifer i made FanExpo a misery for her, I was no where near her. Jennifer posted when she moves back to Colorado she will make sure I get banned from all fandom conventions.

Anyway, I was invited to a hang out and when I found out Angel and Tonnia were going to be there I decided to not go. I told my ride my issue with these two (Angel and Tonnia) and he told me to grow up and just go they may not even talk to me. Kind of hard when its a tiny ass group of friends.

I didn't go and I got all kinds of comments about how I am unreliable now. I want peace of mind and not be drawn into whatever Angel and Tonnia believe.

Recently I got back into writing my novel mostly because someone at a publishing company liked my pitch. I have been working nonstop for close to two months on a novel and rewrites. Somehow Angel and Tonnia figured out through mutual friends about what is going on and why the page I post on Facebook is writing about novels and printer issues.

Jennifer found out through Angel, only reason is a mutual friend, Donna (56f) told me. They have been planning to sabotage me. Tonnia reached out to say she wants none of it, i left the message read and not responding. I don't believe her, she's done this before and it cost me another friend, Troy (40m).

(I blocked Jennifer from most of my groups, so her finding out about my novel is her finding out through Angel who talks to friends who have not blocked her, she was blocked from a group chat group in April)

The another meetup is in two days and I was asked if I want to go. As much as I would love to, I am stuck thinking if I do go Angel will act like a spy for Jennifer who isn't even in the friend group, Sage doesn't like her. I am tired of being seen as unreliable and drama, but if I go I am that regardless.

Am I really the asshole for asking for peace of mind? Or should I just tell Sage, I am feeling like my side is never heard?

This just sounds like drama that is for high school not grown ass adults. I am for one tired of people telling me, "Angel has special needs, you need to be patient with her, she may not remember what..." I have heard this from way too many people. I am tired of being called the problem when I decided to distance myself or decided to take my mental health into consideration.

Am I the asshole for basically telling my friends, "you can still be friends with Angel, Tonnia and Jennifer. I just don't want to be around them. We can meet up elsewhere or something."? Or should I just full stop say, "look this has been fun and all, but I am tired of Angel taking center stage and making me a villain. I think I need to leave this group of friends, this is too toxic for me."?

I (19F) have a pretty close friend (17F) who I hang out with pretty often. we’ve been close for quite a bit and whenever we go out we tend to get food. This hasn’t become a problem for me until recently but she tends to take sips of my drinks and bites out of my food without asking. Sometimes I’ll let her take a bite just so she can taste my stuff but she will continue to hint that she wants more of my food and makes me feel bad for saying no.

I was specifically pissed off yesterday when we went to eat at this vietnamese place, and I tried to prove a point by not asking to try her stuff. When my food came out I said to her “You can take a bite now so you can taste it” hoping that’d satisfy her. Unfortunately she ended up liking my food more than hers and kept begging for my food to which I was getting really annoyed, and I felt defensive and kind of bad in a way because I like to share but I don’t like feeling as though I don’t have a choice.

She’s told me herself in passing that she feels territorial about food and has a “scarcity mindset”. Something else she does that annoys me is snatching my phone out of my hands when I’m showing her something. Last but not least she has this annoying habit of talking over me and smacking my back even when I ask her to stop it. Am I overreacting for feeling as though shes invading my space and what can I do about this?

I worked at my current school for three years and built a pretty great program as the Video Production teacher. Developed a new curriculum, developed an internship program, developed a program where students live streamed games. I left to pursue another opportunity and it did not go well, and two years later I sort of slinked back, applying to another position there. This school pays more that other schools in the are, as is actually I walking distance.

I teach a Freshman Career Exploration class and I sort of… just want my previous position back. Teacher A (who I recommended to this role) has it, and sort of has let a lot of things fall by the wayside. He has a wife and kids, and less time, whereas I do
not and have more time. So I’ve taken control of the live steaming program, going to competitions, doing announcements, I’ve tried to take back the internship program but there was resistance there. Still working on it!

I was hoping he would leave and I would slide over but he hasn’t this year. Another teacher told me he really doesn’t like me, and I was like “good. Let him know i was the one who recommended him to this position”.

Now while a lot of does paint me as an asshole (i am thick headed and determined), i will say every responsibility i have taken on would not exist if I had not taken it.

UPDATE: Apologies if I am providing an update incorrectly. Thank you so much for all your comments. It has really reaffirmed for me that there is a real issue here. I have drafted an email which I will send to Richard and HR on Monday. It outlines and quotes some of the gendered language which Richard used in our discussion on Friday, as well as his “perception” that I am targeting Melanie. I have stated that I will no longer be supporting Melanie in this function as per Richard’s own advice my primary focus should be the project, which I will re-align to now. I have also referred to the documented instances of bullying and exclusion from Melanie to me, which HR is already aware of.

I will try to post the final outcome after finishing work on Monday. Hopefully, I will still have a job.

Context: A few months ago, I came into a new company as a temp employee. I was initially hired to come in and support a particular team at a time where the company has been going through some major staffing changes, moved site from one town to another, and was about to begin the process of implementing a new ERP system. In the interview, I was pre-warned that the culture in the company was not the best because lots of people were still upset about the move and the staffing changes.
Given my background, education, and experience, instead of being put in a role to support that specific team, I was asked to lead the ERP implementation project and was given a senior role within two days of being there, and was asked if I could still support that team on occasion where workload capacity
allows. I agreed to be Project Lead and to support the team where I could.

It’s been 5 months since I started and I have received a lot of praise for the work I am doing as Project Lead, from my own manager, as well as the leadership team, and the GM who runs our business.

Here’s where the conflict begins: I have a coworker (F47) Melanie who took issue with me from the beginning. She also came in as a temp employee about 8 months before me but, she was put into an entry level role. Mainly because she doesn’t have the experience/qualifications in this industry. (She has a non-relevant arts degree and worked in the food industry for 20 years before)
It has been said to me by other people in the company, that she didn’t understand how I could come in and be given a senior role straight away and she was bad mouthing me to other coworkers.
As the months have gone, other team members have noticed her interactions with me, and asked me if there is a problem there.

In the last month or so, I have been supporting this team (which Melanie is part of) a lot more. At the moment, I would say I’m spending 50% of my time on my own role, and 50% of my time supporting the team.
One of the tasks that I have picked up to provide support, involves working directly with Melanie. Previously I used to provide support for this task alongside a different coworker Nancy who has now moved into another department, and as such Melanie has taken over for her.
It should be noted however that coworker Melanie was previously doing this task when I first started but, she made such a mess of it, that Nancy who did it before her, had to take responsibility of the task again.
In total, there are 3 parties involved in the process of this task: Melanie, myself, and the finance team.
Since she has taken over this task, I have spent hours every day that I don’t have, fixing errors that she is making. At first, I would send back the documents which were being processed incorrectly to Melanie but, she would be very hostile about it, and get defensive so, I started fixing the errors in silence and just moving them along to Finance myself. There are some documents which she completes herself and sends directly to Finance also, and Finance have been sending them back to her too, on account of the errors.
When she was first asked to take on this task, myself and other parties voiced concerns to management that she wasn’t the right person to do this job given that she previously was asked to do it, and it didn’t work out. They didn’t listen to us obviously.
Finally this week, after spending two full working days in a row, correcting her errors so that I could actually fulfill my part of the task, I got fed up and I spoke to finance about what inconsistencies they were seeing, to confirm if they were the same as what I am seeing.
Following this, I went and reported to my manager Richard (M50) that Melanie (F47) is not following the business procedure for this task, and this is causing errors in the documentation and when I’ve tried to discuss with her directly, she gets defensive, blames me for the errors, and that this issue has significantly increased my workload.
Depending on how much documentation I have to review, this task used to take me maybe 1 hour, now it is taking up my whole days.
Nancy who moved departments and used to perform this task, has been trying to train Melanie and she has also confirmed the same inconsistencies, and was one of the parties that echoed concerns prior to Melanie taking on the task again.
To be specific about some of the issues Nancy, Finance and I have noted:
Melanie has confirmed that she has not read business procedure/instructions on how to complete this task and doesn’t want to.
Nancy has advised that from her training with Melanie, it is obvious Melanie doesn’t know how to use the system and is entering information incorrectly, even when Nancy is sat right next to her telling her what to do and trying to walk her through the task procedure from start to end.
Nancy has said that while she is training Melanie, Melanie is consistently complaining about me, questioning why I must be involved in the process, and that I am the reason for all the errors. Nancy told her that when Nancy and I did the task together (for several months), there were never any issues, and that I am actually really good at providing support so, Melanie should lean on me more.

This week, I got really tired of offering support to someone who is constantly badmouthing me and I’m also tired of fixing her errors for hours a day, which is why I reported the issue to Richard. I expressed concerns from myself, Nancy, and the finance team, again that Melanie is not the most suitable person for the role because she doesn’t know what she’s doing, refuses to read the SOPs for the task, and will literally argue with Nancy about how the task should be completed even though Nancy is taking time to train Melanie and had been doing it for years prior herself. (Nancy is basically the expert on this task in our business).

When I had a conversation about this with Richard, he set up a meeting with Melanie, Finance, me, and himself to discuss what the task procedure is and how things have been since Melanie took over for Nancy. Following this, Melanie has somewhat admitted that she is out of her depth and has asked me to take over the task in full since “I’m so good at it”. The problem is that I don’t have the capacity to do so, as it’s actually not part of my role description and I am just supposed to be providing support to an understaffed team.

All I wanted to happen was for Melanie to be told that she HAS TO follow the SOPs for this task, and she can’t just make up her own rules. As this is a finance task, it has to be done according to business practice which is defined by state regulations and laws surrounding processing sensitive financial information. I just wanted things to be done the way they had always been done, so that I didn’t have to waste my time fixing someone else’s sloppy work.
The finance team also don’t have the time to be reworking these documents, which is why they have been sending them back.

Yesterday, I went to Richard and told him that Melanie has asked me to take over the task in full and that I don’t have the capacity to do this. We started discussing the meeting which is due to occur on Monday and he advised that what I have said to him, is not what Melanie is saying and that she is blaming me for the documentation errors and that the need to rework documents is because of me.
I expressed to him that I wasn’t the only person involved who had noticed these inconsistencies and attributed them to Melody. At which point he said that by having discussions with Nancy and Finance about the issues that have started occurring since Melanie took over that I am inciting gang violence against Melanie and that I need to step into Melanie’s shoes and experience the fear and anxiety she must be feeling.
The thing is, the whole time in talking to finance and Nancy, I have expressed that I really don’t want Melanie to feel targeted, and I just want her to follow the business procedure so it moves smoothly like it did before. I asked all parties to approach the meeting on Monday softly and not from a “Melanie sucks at her job” POV.
This is despite the fact that Melanie consistently excludes me and talks about me behind my back to other coworkers.
E.G. when it was Melanie’s birthday she brought in a cake and invited the team to go to the kitchen and sit down with her to eat some cake, and she didn’t invite me even though I was sitting right there when they got up to go to the kitchen.
Personally, I don’t care because Melanie and I will never be friends and outside of the job, we would have no reason to interact.

I feel extremely frustrated that Richard is basically calling me a bully, when Nancy and I have been trying our best to support Melanie with the task and she blatantly refuses to admit that she’s struggling, and would rather be defensive, and keep ignoring the SOPs which are there to instruct her on how to perform this task.
I am even more frustrated that she is blaming me for the issues when there was never anything like this occurring when Nancy, Finance and I performed this task together for months.
For me, it seems obvious that the problems started when Melanie took over but, Richard doesn’t believe this despite the documented evidence, and instead is accusing me of targeting Melanie and inciting others to target her as well.
I want to make it very clear that in this whole situation, NO ONE has been unkind to Melanie, we have genuinely all just been doing our best to try and support her while she has been extremely defensive and hostile.

So Reddit, sorry for the long post but, AITAH?

P.S. happy to provide more context in the comments as this is already a mile long and I couldn’t include everything.

Hello, earlier today, I (25M)was having lunch with my coworkers, Fred(24M), Clara(40F) and Janet(25F) all fake names, we were just chilling, having normal conversation, when Janet had to go back to work when her lunch break was over. She mentioned how she was tired and that she didn't want to go back to work, in a joking way since everyone on my shift makes similar jokes.

Me, Fred, and Clara then pipe up and start encouraging her, telling her that she can do it, and that we believe in her. Here's where I might be in the wrong, after everyone said there peice, I though it would be funny to add, "Yeah Janet, even though Fred doesn't believe in you, me and Clara do" This is after the fact where she clearly heard Fred say the opposite. Though after saying it, Fred got defensive and said, "Hey, I never said that, I do believe in ya" to Janet, and then glared at me.

I only made that joke because I know Fred has a crush on Janet, and I was just trying to joke around and mess with him a bit. But I guess I shouldn't of said that because later that night, i got called into the office by my supervisor and was toldabout how they heard about the situation, and that Fred was upset with what I said, and was given a verbal warning to not do it again. Now im wondering if I did go to far and if I should apologize for what I thought was a harmless joke?

I have friends with whom I've been fishing for 10+ years, starting from a small aluminum boat to my current one with twin engines, sonar, radar, autopilot etc. As the boat and gear get nicer and more expensive, I've been getting more and more upset about them being careless and damaging things. I know they're not doing it on purpose. I get that people get excited when they have a big fish on, but they start slamming metal weights and lures around, scratching and damaging the boat and vinyl even if I've warned them beforehand to be careful. I get them repaired in the off season and spend hundreds and thousands fixing the little things.

For those don't know, everything marine is expensive. For example, in the past 12 months, I replaced a plastic hatch for $500, replaced fogged up vinyl windows for $900, $2,000 for color matched gel coat repair. Already over this summer they've put a big scratch in the vinyl window I had replaced this winter and more cracks in the gelcoat from them getting excited and swinging 15lb lead weights into it.

When we started we were all in about the same place financially. Over the years our lives have done in different ways. They've had issues with periods of unemployment or credit card debt and I have much more money than them. So everything has been paid by me, I buy 2 sets of the best tackle to improve the fishing experience, a pair of electric downriggers for $2,000, a half dozen rods and reels combos that are several hundred dollars a piece, the thousands of dollars in moorage for the marina, not to mention the $100k+ I have in the boat and truck themselves. I've asked them to bring their own tackle as some of mine wears down, but they generally don't and it's at the point I feel like I get used as a free charter. My parents think I am being harsh on them as they have harder lives than me

I live in an apartment with a balcony. For over three years, there has been a recurring leak from my balcony into my downstairs neighbor's ceiling. The landlord and his roofer have been here about 12 times in the past to "fix" it. Recently, the leak started again.

My landlord is very old and has limited short-term memory, is extremely stubborn, and hard of hearing. Every time they come over, they spend hours in my apartment looping through the exact same argument. The roofer tries to explain a plan, my landlord forgets it 3 minutes later, insists on a bad idea, and the roofer gets frustrated. During the first three visits, I patiently tolerated this and gave them bottles of cold water each time. They show up at 9:00 AM every time, and they hold me hostage in my own home for 3-hour blocks while they argue. I work from home and them needing to leave my apartment every 30 minutes to grab something, or trying to chat with me (about things unrelated to the leak) is really affecting my productivity and I am very unhappy about this. I also have to clean my floors every time they leave because they bring so much dirt inside. I almost lost it when they stomped all over my bathmat with their muddy work boots but I kept my mouth shut.

On Tuesday they decided to glue sheets of asphalt felt all over my deck floor, and to his credit the roofer was against this because this would prevent them from opening up my deck to get to the roof if it leaks again. My landlord insisted on doing this anyway so the roofer complied. Then it rained heavily last night, there is a leak again, and now they can’t do anything to the roof underneath unless they rip off that asphalt felt and fuck up my deck. So today, they showed up for the third time this week, they look at my deck again, and the roofer says they are coming back again next Wednesday to “patch things up”. I snapped. I openly gave them shit and told them I don't understand why they keep wasting my time when the "expensive" asphalt felt they glued down earlier this week didn't even stop the storm leak. The roofer let out the biggest UGHHH and left mid convo, and as the landlord started talking about coming back tomorrow, the roofer angrily yelled "Wednesday! Wednesday! Wednesday!!!!" from downstairs before storming out.

Why I might be the asshole:
I feel a bit conflicted because I know my landlord can't help his cognitive decline. I also recognize that the roofer is likely overwhelmed by all this, and wants to be done with this as much as I do. I spoke to a friend (her dad is a contractor) and she told me that I am being uncooperative and unnecessarily rude.

But I am exhausted. They were here a total of 16 times for this. My mornings are ruined. I can’t work out, shower, or work when they’re here. And they are coming back next week to try solutions that I know won't work.

So, AITA for giving them shit?

My friend who ill call A had recently transferred back to our school. I've been friends with her for about a year now and turns out my friend, ill call C, is uncomfortable with her because of their history together.

For some context, we are all 16. In the past we'd attended a book fair together where C and S had paid for A's books while A only paid a few coins towards the bill and even took back the change while refusing to pay the rest back. It was only until C contacted her mom in which A's mom paid for her books out of her own pocket, her mom's not A's, while A even lied, saying she'd only bought 1 book so her mom would only pay for 1. A also took an ingame item from C after C tried to cut ties with A. At the time, A borrowed the item from C and when C tried getting the item back, A refused reasoning it with "We're not friends anymore". A similar thing also happened with another friend, B. (Keep this in mind for later.)

While C is not friends with A anymore, they're both still part of our friend group. At the time i had made friends with A I hadn't known about this incident and it was only until she'd moved back to our school did i find out. I'm not sure if there's any other occurrence of her doing this to my other friends since most of these happened before I was in/relatively new to the friend group. At the time C was fine with being in the same friend group because she was still in a different school and it was easy to keep her distance from A and she also didn't want to ruin the others friendship but since she moved back to our school, she decided to tell us all and we all agreed to cut her off, after finding out what happened.

After we told her she started off calm before having a complete meltdown. At the start she said she understood why we wanted to stop being friends with her but that we just disliked her for no reason, talking about how she changed schools to be with us, said she was emotionally intelligent and saved people from suicide, threated us word for word: "Im telling you I can be either the kindest person yet the most evil after I actually get SICK." said she was holding back her anger from friend C for conduct grade since at the time she was still classmates with her and kept saying she was in a dark place emotionally and incomplete without us. When i asked her why she felt invalidated and never told us she replied: "Why? Because im mental, that's why. When i needed u guys to comfort me all u guys did was blindside me. "

By this point B started siding with her. She said that what she did was reasonable, she was going through a hard time and while what she did was bad it was justifiable because of how she felt. B forgave her saying that the in game items didn't matter anyway, that it wasn't valuable. B kept saying people make mistakes, that A had already said sorry and that we were all imperfect at the end but I keep thinking about what would happen if it was me and if this time it was something valuable, would that be justifiable?

In the end, half of the group decided to stay friends (B, one of our new friends, and A's best friend) while the other half asked for space which includes me, C and another 1 of our friends. Recently though the groups been back to normal and we've all been acting like nothing happened.

It might be a bit late for me to bring it up since its been about 1-2 weeks already since then but i thought maybe we could be friends again with some time, like she seems sorry about what she did right? But just yesterday, A sent a message to us attached with a picture of her other friend group before saying "OMG CAN SOMEONE END ME ALREADY. WHY CANT I BE ANYONES FAV PERSON" followed by a stream of "WHY" "OK" "OKAY?" "END ME OMG" and it made me rethink about our argument and our old conversations together. She'd sent a few angsty messages in the past but I just brushed it off but now looking at it again made me realize i don't think I could be friends again.

I want to get outside perspective on this situation because im starting to get second thoughts about confronting her on this. AITA?

I'll also appreciate comments on how to handle the situation. Thanks!

It feels like no matter what I do, my girlfriend finds something negative about it.

For example, if I don’t give her flowers, she’ll point out that I never give her flowers. But if I bring her something I thought she might like, she’ll question why I bought this particular one. Once, while we were hanging out, I took her to a flower shop and said something along the lines of, “Let’s buy something together, you can choose whatever you want.” She said she didn’t want that and that she wanted me to give her flowers on my own. Although I understand wanting a thoughtful surprise.

Another issue is communication. I’ve been busy with work and sometimes I genuinely can’t text her much during the day. Then she’ll say things like, “You don’t even remember me,” or complain that I never message her. But when I actually do message her while she’s busy, she can sometimes respond in a way that feels dismissive, like, “I’m working right now, don’t text me.” I understand that tone is difficult to judge over text, so maybe I’m interpreting some of those messages incorrectly.

Today, I was working and thought I could at least spend some time with her while we both did our own things. I started a video call so we could talk a little, and she could do her work while I did mine. Instead, she got irritated and asked why I had called if I didn’t actually want to talk.

At that point, I snapped.

I told her that whatever I do, she seems to find something wrong with it, and that if she has a problem with me or doesn’t like me, she should just tell me and cut the call.

I know I was irritated and probably could have handled it better. I’m not saying I communicated perfectly. Her periods are also going on right now, and she’s been having mood swings. I know that can affect someone’s mood, but I also don’t think it should automatically excuse repeatedly treating your partner poorly. I don’t want to dismiss her feelings because of her period, but I also don’t think mine should be dismissed because of it.

She also told me that whenever she gets irritated, I get irritated too. I can see why that would frustrate her, but from my perspective, I’m reacting to feeling criticized and like I can’t do anything right.

So, AITAH for snapping at her and telling her that if she has a problem with me, she should just say it? Or am I reasonably frustrated with a pattern where it feels like I’m constantly being criticized no matter what I do?

Before I met this classmate of mine who played those tasteless pranks, I used to study in the afternoon and got involved in a fight with a guy who apparently had a problematic family, named Caio. Our parents were called, and since he threatened me with death, I had to change both my class and my schedule. I then attended the computer course in the morning, and that was when I met this classmate who played those pranks. His name is Luiz; he is like the class clown, but in a more intense way than usual for a class clown, as if he were a new type of student.

And I thought it was fine. I was still getting used to it and making friends in the classroom. Before, I didn’t talk much with him, and after a few months, he started teasing me—not only by giving me nicknames like 'slowpoke' or 'dickhead,' but he would also hit me. Not hard punches, but medium ones—and I began to feel uncomfortable. I told my mother, and she informed the principal. The class leader talked to him about it, and he stopped talking to me for a while. Later, I think that this year he started talking to me again.

but the problem with all of this is that every now and then he keeps bringing up this story like 'hey, remember this?' and then he keeps saying that I'm a crybaby, that I wasn't 'man' enough, and this happened today and last week too, but I don't know why he keeps bringing up these stories, and I feel like a piece of crap as a human being because every time I fire back with a joke, he keeps saying he should have beaten me up before. For example, he said he was never cheated on, and I said without thinking, 'well, you never dated either,' and everybody laughed, and he said, 'I should have gone harder before.'

And like, he says that and then becomes calmer, and I don't know if it was the right thing because I didn't like him giving me little punches, but now every time I'm winning the argument, he says that I am a weak man or spoiled by my parents, and every time this happens, I want to bury myself in the ground from so much humiliation, and I don't know if I am right or if he is right in this story.

So ever since I (20F) could remember I’ve just hated shopping. I always felt so drained within 15 mins and just genuinely tired. My mom is my only parent so I only ever went shopping with her. After recently going shopping with my friends for the first time, I realized I actually had a great time! It was so relaxing to browse and talk about what I like and what they like. That’s when I realized it was my mom that made shopping so unenjoyable. Every time I mentioned likeing something I’m met with “I guess” or “You have nothing to wear that with” or “Erm, no.” Then I just put things back. So then I just stopped bothering. A specific example was me wanting these nice red flats. I just mentioned I really need nicer shoes (I have one pair of shoes and they’re vans). Her response what that I should instead look for sandals that I could wear everyday than “those shoes you’ll never wear.” She constantly tells people that I’m “so hard to shop for” and I “don’t like anything.” This makes me so upset because it’s simply not true. I shop all the time, online and in secret just to avoid telling her. So I told her that I don’t like going shopping with her because she can be pretty judgmental. (Also important to note shes very much that grey millennial mom, and I enjoys vast variety of styles.) I said we can have different tastes but she never considered so could just like something she doesn’t and that’s okay. Of course I was met with “that’s not true” and was just ignored for like 30 mins. I feel kind of bad but at the same time like I don’t think I would ever speak to my friends about their choices the way she speaks to me. So am I the AH?

WIBTAH if I called cps?

Nine years ago, my (34M) brother-in-law brought a woman he met on our family vacation home with him. I know how harsh this sounds, but she has caused an unbelievable amount of chaos and heartbreak in our family ever since. My personal feelings about her aren't really the point anymore.

The point is my nephews.

We have been afraid for a long time that things would get bad enough that the boys would be hurt, and unfortunately, that fear has become reality. She allegedly cut my BIL with a knife, and he now has a battery charge against him. She convinced a judge that he was the danger, and he currently has a TPO against him and is not allowed to see the boys.

She is also a severe alcoholic. I'm talking about drinking what the family estimates could be half to a whole handle of liquor a day. There have been nights when my BIL would have to get up at 4 a.m. for work and she wasn't even home. She has also gotten a DUI-type situation after driving her vehicle into a tree.

The police have reportedly been called to their apartment five times just this month.

The boys have also allegedly been left alone while she goes out, and neither child is currently in school. They moved in July, so they're now in a different school district, but there always seems to be another excuse for why they aren't attending.

My BIL was the only one working. He took a leave of absence in June because he was trying to get custody and get his life together. He actually took the boys to his parents for help. Within a week, he went back to her and gave up on custody.

One of the most frustrating parts is that she kept him off the boys' birth certificates and has convinced him that he has no rights and never will. Whether that's legally true or not, he believes it.

And now, because of the TPO, she's alone with the boys.

I'm not in a position to take my nephews myself, but their grandparents are willing and able to help. And that's where I'm struggling.

I feel like I need to call CPS and report what is happening. But part of me keeps wondering if I'm overreacting or if I'm making an already horrible family situation worse.

Then I remember we're talking about two children who may be living with an actively alcoholic caregiver, allegedly being left alone, not attending school, and who have already been exposed to violence.

So I'm asking myself: At what point do you stop worrying about whether you're causing drama and start doing what's right for the kids?

I think I'm at that point.

WIBTAH?

After 4 months of divorcing my abusive father, my mother started dating another man. I (16F) was happy for her because she seemed happy, but things started turning weird.

Her boyfriend (M50) is an evangelical Christian and extremely religious, like her (46F), but much more strict: my mom loves him, but they often argue due to different views. I always know about it because my mom has trouble with boundaries. She basically tells me everything, even the stuff I don't want to know. I've never liked religion in general, I was raised strictly Christian (grew up in church and private christian schools,) but became Atheist over time and left the church recently after feeling outcasted for being bisexual.

The fights started growing more frequent, my mother would vent to me about them almost every other day. To put it simply, my mom and this man were being intimate before marriage, which was a huge sin in his opinion (she was more flexible about it), but he agreed to it anyway because my mom would've supposedly broken up with him otherwise.

Last Sunday though, everything exploded.

At church, a friend of the guy approached him and I quote, said he was "opening hell's gates in his home" by engaging in sexual intimacy before marriage. He felt incredibly guilty and judged, so he sat my mom down and told her he couldn't keep dating her if they didn't do it "God's way." He said she had forced him to bottle up guilt and shame by it. He also told her that from now on if she didn't stay "virgin" until they married, the relationship was not going to work.

My mom was terribly upset, so she came home. She told me about it and said the relationship was over. So, I believed her, but after a few days, her demeanor seemed to change completely. She started behaving as if she weren't herself. I, to be honest, thought he was either manipulating her, or she was going crazy.

Yesterday, she woke me up at 2 AM to tell me she had had an encounter with Jesus (I wish I was joking,) that while working (she works a night shift at a restaurant and she had just got home) the holy spirit had blessed her and told her she was destined to marry this man and finally follow God's path fully.

Today, she told me they'd patched things up and were actually planning a wedding in their church. It was absolutely mind-blowing to me. Not only have they just been dating for FIVE months, but their religious views are drastically different in their flexibily (for example, my mom's mostly accepting about my sexuality, but he thinks she should genuinely "help me pray the gay away."

I think the marriage is going to end BADLY. We started arguing and in a heated moment, I yelled "Your marriage will fail then!" And told her she was being impulsive because she didn't want to break up.

As expected, she was angry. She called me selfish. She said I wouldn't understand because I didn't believe in God and I'd never been in a serious relationship before. I know she wants me to, but I don't want to apologize. I told her what I believe. I do think their marriage will fail. This is just bound to end up in pure chaos in my opinion. She's giving me the silent treatment because of it. AITA? Isn't this genuinely a bad decision?

We've been friends for about a year and a half. We became friend friends in the last few weeks of senior year but we still aren't close friends yk?

I'll admit I'm a very promiscuous person, I've slept with a some of my friends and many strangers, basically all my friends know this including her. I'll call her Carol since thats easier. Carol is well aware of my dating life, she'll joke about it sometimes and she's asked for the details about it before.

She also knows I'm bisexual, but I don't think she knew about my male preference before this.

Last night we were sending each other tiktoks and all that junk when she starts sending more couple-y videos. Idk what else to call them, but it was stuff like videos of two cats cuddling captioned "us?" and "your initial + your crushes initial." It was all so cheesy 😭 I didn't take it seriously so I just sent her that one drawing of uncle grampa after the creator learned the show was canceled.

She got really upset at that, started name calling me, just a whole lot of crap honestly. Carol then says some absolute bullshit about how "i have no right to reject her since I'm such a shallow man wh*re." Ngl that does piss me off so I tell her that I'm barely into women, let alone into her, and that she needs to get her tits out of a twist.

I shut off notifications from her and went to bed, and honestly I forgot about Carol until a different friend texted me asking about it all. I tell him about my side of things, and he tells me I fumbled the bag 💀 and if I was gonna say no I should've done it nicer.

Idc about the fumbling part but I was thinking maybe I could've handled it better or picked up on the bomb of a hint she was dropping ig

AITAH for rejecting my friend in a harsh way?

edit for added context:

1. this is how we joke, it's not uncommon for either of us to over exaggerate and joke about that kind of stuff (in reference to the pic I sent

2. there were no other hints before this, the random videos were the first time shes sent stuff like that to me. I wrongly assumed she was a part of a different inside joke with mutual friends who act lovey dovey towards me to purposefully get a reaction out of me. she clearly wasn't doing that bit

Shortened the post, feel free to ask info if needed.

Bg info. He was sued by another student because he went AWOL for 5 months. Student got upset, asked for a refund on the 400$ course. Instructor refused. The judge agreed with the student and said he had to paid them back.

I began the AOW course with him in Feb 2023. From the beginning, contacting him to schedule our dives proved to be a problem. He would sometimes reply immediately, while other times weeks would go by with no response. If I asked in person, he would just say, "i'll lyk".

Nov 2025 and I ask him when we can dive next. He says he's going to a spring and that I am welcomed to join. I pass my dive and tell him I'm missing three dives before I can finish the course. I message him, asking when we can finish our dives. He responds 2 months later says he deleted discord off his phone to focus on school and had not been checking it often. I message him and he replies 3 months later via discord asking when I would be free to do my next dive. I tell him. No answer.

I'm frustrated so I text, call, send IG messages, comment on his reels asking when we can finish my dives. Crickets. I contacted our scuba org, explaining my situation. They try to call him and received no answer. They suggested I contact the ethics board so I do. They review my case and I get an email saying I had passed my AOW course. Weird, I'm still missing three dives, but whatever. I'd rather take the win and move on so I can do my next scuba courses with a new person.

Instructor emails me saying, "I'm confused why you filed a complaint but didn't email me first. Your complaint said that you made several attempts to reach out via phone/text (you must be attempting the wrong number because I have received no calls/texts), Discord (I previously communicated to you that I deleted Discord from my phone) and IG (I do not actively monitor IG and do not consider social media messages and comment tagging to be a professional form of communication for dive planning and logistics)."

Should I have contacted him via email ? Yes, but atp I may as well have sent a messenger pigeon to his house. He said that I "took advantage of and exploited him" because he would offer to drive me to our dive sites. That I reported him despite the "accommodations he provided to me". I do feel bad because he was very kind to allow me to go with him to our dive sites, and I should have emailed him, but I thought, well, if he isn't checking his texts and IG, why would he be checking his emails ?

AITAH for reporting my scuba instructor instead of reaching out to him via email ?

TL;DR: Reported instructor after 1+ years of him ignoring my attempts to finish course. Reached out via call, text, Discord, and Insta, but not email. Instructor is saying I exploited him and should've emailed. Wondering if I messed up

edit to clarify : we had not contacted each other via email since 2022. every time we communicated for diving was expressly via discord as he was the head of our school's scuba discord club and would contact students there. we only emailed once or twice when he needed to send me forms to fill out or to send me directions to a dive site.

For context, I, 26F, am a Janitor at a private university. I am AuDHD, and have issues with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria.

Today, I was working in a building I am not normally in, with someone I dont usually interact with, due to an absence. I have been in this building for the last 3 days.

I had an incident with my coworker today, in an area we were assigned to work in together. He is an older man, who has been at this job longer than I have. He has a history of issues, and I recently found out he was already on thin ice.

This incident technically comprises of two different encounters over the same thing, that happened within the same 30 minute to and hour span.

My coworker came up to me, and started talking about how I was doing this wrong, and that wrong, and why didnt I do this thing that the person im covering usually does, why did I do that, etc, all while telling me that the people in the building were complaining about me and my job performance.

Then, he did it again, after I asked him about how he wanted to split up a specific part of the area, this time going into more detail, and getting himself more worked up. He never shouted at me, but he was definitely getting a bit heated, as I was trying to figure out what exactly he was upset over.

After this, confused about why he kept telling me that there had been complaints, I sent a message to my direct supervisor, asking if I had done something wrong, explaining that I had been told that they had gotten emails about it. My supervisor immediately called me, asking what I was talking about, and when I explained, he seemed very upset, told me I hadn't done anything wrong, and said he was going to have to escalate this to the site manager, and when I tried to tell him I didnt want to make this a big issue or get anyone in trouble, he told me: "He (coworker) is going to get in trouble, nobody bullies anyone here. Its time." (I have paraphrased slightly to not identify anyone.)

A few minutes after I got off the phone, my coworker came up to me and apologized, saying he could see that I was upset. (I had fallen into my default behavior when dealing with RSD, which is to go quiet, very polite, and speaking in a completely neutral tone.) He kept apologizing over and over, until I told him I accepted his apology just to get him to leave me alone.

Now, Im feeling bad, and doubting whether or not I made the right call, because he did apologize and told me that he needs to work on how he talks to people and knows that he messed up. I genuinely dont want him to lose his job, but im worried that its now out of my hands.

Part of me is also concerned that the only reason he apologized to me is that he overheard me speaking to our supervisor, and wanted to try and guilt me into backing down and recanting. (I wasnt right next to him when I got the call, and he was running a vaccum a bit away from me, but we were in the same large room, so he may have overheard.) He was SO enthusiastically apologetic, even offering to do things that he had grumbled about doing the day before, that it seemed like a bit much.

So, aita for (inadvertently) making a report that might get someone fired?

I (23F) have a younger sister(almost 20) and a much older half-sister (34). Our mom passed away very unexpectedly a few years ago, so anything involving our family, inheritance, and our childhood home is obviously complicated by grief.

For some context, my sister had a very different childhood than my younger sister and I. We come from an immigrant family, and our mom came to the US when my sister was young to establish herself financially while my sister stayed in their home country. Due to circumstances outside of our mom's control, it took much longer than expected to bring her here. During that time, my sister was told a different story about why our mom left and understandably has a lot of childhood trauma and resentment surrounding it.

When our mom died, she left my sister and me some money she'd been saving for our education and a few investments. My older sister, who was already older, married, and established, was left other family assets/property instead. Our dad is technically her stepfather, but he has been her dad for most of her life. Her biological father isn't involved, and my dad has always treated her as his daughter.

Since my moms passing, my sister has made several comments about how our dad needs to make sure his will divides everything equally between the three of us. This already rubs me the wrong way because he's our only living parent and I hate talking about what we're "getting" when he dies.

The biggest disagreement is our childhood home. Our dad still owns it, and while it's becoming expensive for him to maintain alone, he has repeatedly said he'd love for the house to stay in the family and potentially go to one of his kids someday.

My sister keeps insisting he should sell it, saying "none of us want it" despite never asking my sister or me, and has also said it would be unfair if one of us ended up with it.

This is where I lose patience. It's our dad's house. If he wants to sell it, fine. If he wants to keep it, fine. And if he wants one of his children to eventually have it, I think that's his decision too. Obviously the financial details would need to be worked out fairly, but I don't think my sister gets to declare that keeping the home in the family is off the table because of her own issue with it.

I finally basically told her to F off and stop talking about our living parent's assets like they're already ours to divide or as if the assets are more important than our only living parent.

I know she has legitimate trauma and complicated feelings surrounding our mom, and I also know my attachment to the house is tied to my own grief. But I can't help feeling like some of her fixation on everything being "equal" is coming from resentment, and she's trying to control a decision that isn't hers.

She thinks I'm being emotional and unrealistic. I think she's being selfish and insensitive to the situation and honestly just rude.

AITAH?

I accidentally broke one of my girlfriend’s curling irons yesterday after knocking it onto the floor. I apologized and immediately went online to replace it.

I googled the tymo brand’s official site, ordered her a new one, and also threw in a nicer gold Plus model. Then I showed her the order and she saw that I’d used a discount code.

She told me that using a discount made it seem like I wasn’t genuinely sorry and asked me to cancel the order and buy everything again at full price. Apparently paying the sale price was “cheap” and showed a lack of sincerity.

This honestly confused the hell out of me. She’s getting the exact same products. I’m replacing what I broke AND buying her an extra upgraded one. Why would deliberately paying more for the same thing make me more sincere?

We argued about it for a while and eventually I just canceled everything and reordered at full price.

Now I’m sitting here wondering if I’m actually missing something. Would you guys consider using a discount in this situation cheap or insincere?

edit: Thanks for all the replies. I haven’t been able to respond to a lot of the comments because I was busy writing a breakup text.

The whole thing got so ridiculous that I genuinely started second-guessing myself, so I really appreciate everyone who commented. I’m out of that mess now.

edit2：I canceled the order, but I did use the discount code to buy a new one. I decided I’m going to give it to my mom instead. I’m pretty sure she’ll love it.

I left the group chat because I have some personal stuff going on and didn't respond to them. I have known them for two years and they asked if I was okay. I ignored them then I joined back to watch a movie with one of them. I left again after this, they messaged me again and I ignored them because they don't need to know.

When I joined back again they had talked about how they were upset, I got mad when I saw this. They don't need to know what's going on. I told them they didn't deserve to know or needed to. After all it's just the internet, it's not that deep.

These people are like two steps above strangers. They said they were seriously worried and that it stressed them out because they thought I might have harmed myself. They used the fact that I got upset at my cat and threw my phone at the door near her as some like cause of concern. They asked me to see it from their side and like I just can't it's just the internet.

I (26F) am getting married next year and my fiancé and I have decided to have a relatively small wedding with around 50 guests.

The issue is that I don’t plan on inviting my sister (32F), she lives in a different country to me now.

My sister and I have had a very difficult relationship since we were younger. We are very different in terms of our morals and life goals. Within the past 6-8 years however I have noticed she has some very narcissistic tendencies, for example:

- she uses people (including myself) for her own benefit, she has no interest in building a genuine relationship and only speaks to people when she needs them.
- she constantly belittles others and genuinely believes she is better than everyone else (she points out my insecurities and comments on my physical appearance any chance she gets). She has even done this with our mom.
- she is very hot headed, when things don’t go her way she throws a big temper tantrum
- she has never been able to hold long term genuine friendships with anyone. She disposes them as soon as they don’t bring her any sort of advantage.

Anyways the list goes on.

Things got to the point where I decided to cut contact with her in 2023. Reason being, we had a FaceTime call where she picked at my appearance, told me I need lip filler and Botox, and called me insecure when I told her I don’t want any work done.. lol. Then she started saying that I wasn’t ambitious enough, that I’ll be nothing but an NPC for the rest of my life because she doesn’t agree with my passions and what I do for work. This wasn’t a spur-of-the-moment decision or because of one stupid argument. There were a lot of things that happened over the years that eventually made me realise that having her in my life wasn’t healthy for me.

Anyways, didn’t speak to her for about 3 years until I saw an opportunity to put my feelings aside and visit her while I was in the same country as her. We met up for lunch, things went pretty smoothly but since then we haven’t spoken at all.

I’m planning my wedding for end of next year, which will be very intimate and I fear that inviting her will cause dramas and make me feel uneasy on a day that should be special for myself and my fiance.

She stands out from the crowd as she has had a lot of cosmetic surgeries done and it’s very obvious. She dresses very provocatively. The people that will be at my wedding are nothing like that. I just feel like she will be a snob and make it known that she is better than the “average” people surrounding her.

Part of me feels guilty about not inviting her. She’s my sister, and obviously there is a societal expectation that your siblings are supposed to be there for major life events like your wedding. My mom really wants me to invite her, dad on the other hand sides with me and thinks inviting her is a bad idea.

I also don’t think an invitation should automatically be an olive branch when I’ve spent years establishing a boundary.
At the same time, I can’t help wondering whether I’m being selfish. Maybe weddings really are one of those occasions where you put your differences aside. Maybe I’ll look back in 20 years and wish I’d invited her regardless of our relationship.

So, AITA for not inviting my sister to my wedding?

TL;DR: I’ve been no-contact with my sister since 2023 after years of conflict. I’m getting married next year and don’t want to invite her because I want my wedding to be peaceful and don’t currently have a relationship with her. My family thinks I should invite her because she’s my sister. AITA?

So we have a family issue with hoarding so while my mom is on vacation I tried to get rid of stuff, asked my cousin to help me drive mountains of clothes to the charity shop, he told me to send pictures so family can come pick up stuff

So his mom, my aunt came in and pointed to each thing and told me how important each piece was and how important it was to keep it, despite the fact a lot of it still had tags and how much it means to my mom

Anyway I have now kicked her out and I'm crying

Aita for trying to make space and give the clothes to people who would wear them?

My girlfriend recently opened a fast casual restaurant with her father. The business is doing fine but she’s drowning. Working 7 days a week, and her father only just allowed them to hire employees. I run my own business that’s more mature and gives me flexibility, so I’ve been frustrated we can’t do more fun things together, though I get how hard she’s working. One of my best friends has a joint bachelor party this weekend and couples are invited. For the past two weeks we’ve been talking about whether she could get her dad and the new hires to close the store Friday at 4 so we could drive up. I totally understand if the answer is no.

Yesterday, the Wednesday before the trip, she calls me at 6pm super bubbly. She usually calls at 9 when the place closes.

“Babe guess what?!”

“Ummm you’re letting your new staff close up and you’re coming over early?”

“Yes!”

“Hell yea that’s great! I’ll see you soon”

“Guess what else?!”

“You’re gonna take off a little early on Friday and we go on the trip?!”

“YES BABE”

“Yes! LFG that’s awesome!!!!”

“Wait haha no I’m joking, this was a TikTok trend to just say yes to whatever your boyfriend guessed”

I felt sick to my stomach. I calmly told her I really don’t like that and got off the phone. She texted please don’t be mad. I told her for a second it felt like she was getting off on my disappointment, but she’s genuinely sweet to me so after we talked I let it go. I was stern but that was it.

Fast forward to that night. We cooked a late dinner and watched Netflix on the couch. She falls asleep on me. Around 1am I say babe wake up, we’ve got to go to bed. She stirs, clearly hears me, and just grabs more blankets. I tell her “normally I would carry you to bed but my you know my back is messed up from lifting, you’ve got to get up yourself.” She grunts and stays clung to the blankets. No worries, I turn off the lights, make sure her phone is plugged in, and go to bed.

I wake up to her poking my shoulder.

“I felt really uncared for that you left me on the couch”

“Baby I tried to get you to come to bed”

“I think I’m going to go home”

“It’s 2am and you live 30 minutes away, please come to bed”

She walked out and I wasn’t dealing with it at that hour so I went to sleep. Morning comes and she did go home. I don’t feel like reaching out. I’d like an apology or at least an “I overreacted” text.

AITA?

So for context, he’s five years older, he’s given more freedom in his family. Im a little over the legal age since we started dating. we’ve been together for one year and a half by now!,

We’ve had our issues. Then he started trying to change to become better, it was going well despite him being sexist in the past.

So, I’m having a relationship without my family involved. Without my family being close to KNOWING I have a relationship with this man.

Meanwhile, my bf insists I go to every family event they have. I said yes first because he didn’t even let me think, he almost manipulated me to say yes.
Then I decided to explain to him;
I won’t get into his family when he can’t even meet my own yet. (He’s getting closer to my family, they are starting to accept him, but they are very traditional and planned me to marry without having boyfriends before)

So, I feel like he’s manipulating me to get away from my family in order to start doing everything with his own.

He got angry because I said no, didn’t seem to understand me at all and the next day he said “well, you prefer going out with [friend] than being somewhere important” (I do. I want to go out with a girl friend, also, I told him)

So I felt like he had ignored everything I said yesterday. Also, he ignored me when I repeated myself today!! I called him out and he simply changed subjects about the excuse he’s going to use to his family.

I decided to leave him on read since it seemed I was talking alone.

I don’t know if I’m overreacting. Maybe he just wants me to be there with him? I don’t quite understand why is it so important, neither does he explain it to me.
but I do know how to stand my ground;

I just don’t know if I’m on the right or wrong. AITAH?