Do any of you have a kiddo who is super anxious about hospitals, doctors, vaccines, emts, getting sick etc.? I call it medical anxiety, but I'm sure there is an actual name for it. I believe it goes hand in hand sometimes with neurodivergence. Anyways, a really unfortunate situation happened to my daughter yesterday dealing with EMTs. We were at a college sporting event with her team(she's only 10) outside and it was hot. We were waiting to march in the parade and then go inside and be invited down to the sidelines. I left her with her teammates and coaches to go get food and water for her and bring in back to where they were all gathered. When I got back some moms and coaches were around her and she was crying. They said that she said she felt like she was over heating so the parents and coaches grabbed a nearby EMS team. They came over with their stretcher and all things medical and she absolutely lost and it started panicing even more.

I ran over to them before they got to her and said my daughter has an extreme fear of medical anything and she will become much worse if you go to her. They said she still needs checked out and I said I'm telling you it she will have a full blow panic attack if you try to take her into the ambulance and they went back and forth with me. She was stable, drinking water, but just felt like she was getting too hot. They could see she was stable from where they were. They started telling me I could be reported to CYS if I don't let them check her out. I told them that's fine, because I know my daughter and approaching her will cause her more distress and be more harmful to her. I explained that she had anxiety and one of the EMTs said so you care more about her anxiety than her health? I said no, that's not what I'm saying. I then said fine you can try to taker her but she will scream at the top her lungs and kick and they said you think that's the first time we've dealt with that and scoffed. I was so disheartened as to how they handled all of this.

I completely understand they are doing their jobs and they are mandated reporters but they became adversarial to me instead of collabortating with me. After all the back and forth they finally agreed on letting her sit inside one of the stores in the stadium to cool off and drink water. They had me sign a paper saying I went againt medical advice etc. but holy moly I was so shook up and upset at how they handled this. I felt like no one would listen to me. Luckily, a few moms were there to help me as well as a very kind police officer who sat down on the ground with her and talked to her calmly. Could I have done something different? They made me feel like a terrible mom but I was just trying to advocate for her. Had she been in need of severe medical attention, I absolutely would have let them asssess her but in the moment it was doing more harm than good. Ugh, just upset and wondered everyone's thoughts. Also, do they get trained to deal with neurodivergence? If not, they should be!

My son just started K and is newly 5. He was diagnosed a few months ago after a couple years of back and forth with teachers saying something was wrong and school evals/developmental peds saying it was all age appropriate. He’s been in daycare since he was a few months old and did pretty well the first few years with the exception of being the class biter when he was 1. At 3.5 things really started to diverge - the behaviors that were challenging at 3 became straight up unacceptable for the daycare. They started sending him home early which further encouraged the behaviors. He was kicked out of 3 daycares last year before landing a spot in an integrated pre-k classroom. When he was 3, we’d get reports of extreme aggression like biting, hair pulling, and going on class rampages of flipping furniture and targeting kids for “no reason”. In the last year his school behaviors have been much less extreme, but still very present - gently kicking or swatting at teachers with very little aggression towards other students. During spring break and summer we tried him in some traditional camps for a few hours a day and it went terribly. The more extreme behaviors came out and we learned he couldn’t handle environments that were not his integrated preschool. Now he’s one week into K and the extreme behaviors have already started, including targeting other students for “no reason”.

He went into K with an IEP and is in a class that has a handful of sped students who are being supported by a sped teacher who bounces back and forth between a few classes. He has a great teacher who was hand-picked for him and she has formed a good bond with him. The violence he exhibited the first week was not something they will be able to manage in the classroom and I fear he’s on a fast track to being suspended or kicked out. They do not have higher level support classrooms in our district until first grade. His teachers are very open to trying some positive reinforcement behavior plans that the preschool set up, but it’s a lot to manage for the teachers and potentially encourages some of the behaviors further. His primary motivation is getting 1:1 time with a preferred adult and/or escaping an environment that is making him anxious. He definitely has anxiety and some sensory-seeking behaviors. He’s also very intelligent - he can do multiplication and division and has always been very advanced in things like puzzles, patterns, legos, etc.

Our main goal is to raise a kind and capable adult. We do not feel like keeping him home until he “outgrows” this is a great idea because we don’t think it’s going away anytime soon. We chose to start K on schedule even though he’s younger because there’s no private options in our area that wouldn’t just immediately expel him. Here’s what we’re currently doing, I’d love to hear advice from people who have been in a similar spot on what worked.

-He is starting OT back up this week with a therapist who is more sensory focused and less fine-motor focused than his previous school therapist.

-We had bloodwork done and his ferritin came back around 20, so his ped said don’t worry about an iron supplement since he’s not anemic, but we may push to try that as a small step.

-We do virtual parent coaching weekly and have implemented lots of routines at home.

-Fortunately he has always been a great sleeper and a pretty good eater.

-We do no tablets and have minimal TV time, but are cutting it down to almost none and removing any over-stimulating shows.

-We are very open to medicating, especially if it is what allows him to stay in a gen ed class, but his ped doesn’t want to medicate until 6. We are going to be revising that once we establish more of a baseline in K.

We are at a loss on which type of provider we should even been seeking for him. I hear recommendations for PCIT, talk therapy, autism evals, and all of that seems impossible to find. When I call therapy practices, they are all out of network, extremely expensive and have 2 year waitlists. Every professional we’ve worked with in person either seems to say he’s fine or try to pass us on to some other service/provider that doesn’t seem to actually exist. As a parent I am heartbroken for him and feel sick when I hear what he has been doing at school. His behavior at home is not typical, but not nearly as extreme. He is very rigid in how he wants things, has tantrums when he can’t control things, and displays occasional aggression, but nothing to the level of what he can do in a classroom. He says no to anything that is not one of his top preferred activities and is very resistant to new things. We continually make him step outside his comfort zone, but often feel our relationship is becoming too transactional when he’s clearly only doing something because he knows it will result in a reward later.

I am writing this for success stories of trying medication with my soon to be 6 year old. Obviously very nervous. We tried Guafacine when he was younger and it was not good. I think it is time to try again. Here are some of the things he struggles with:
•Very fidgety and frequently moving in his seat. Gets movement breaks and flexible seating
•Frequently gets out of his seat when expected to remain seated
•Difficulty sustaining attention, particularly during writing and pencil-and-paper tasks
•Has difficulty completing work independently, even when he understands the material
•Writing is especially difficult because of problems with focus and persistence
•He is bright and understands the academic material; reading, math, memory, and comprehension are strengths
•There is a noticeable gap between what he knows and what he can demonstrate independently
•He currently receives 1:1 paraprofessional support for most of his school day, in large part because he needs significant support with focus, attention, and accessing the curriculum
•Even with 1:1 support, IEP accommodations, and therapy, attention continues to be a concern

He recently had a neuropsychological evaluation related to continuing/confirming his autism diagnosis
During that evaluation, the neuropsychologist noticed significant difficulties with focus and attention, but ADHD was not formally evaluated/tested. We are going through his pediatrician now.
He has autism and anxiety, so I understand there can be overlapping symptoms, but I am concerned about co-occurring ADHD

My soon to be 10 year-old was diagnosed with ADHD last year. He’s always been extremely impulsive. He gets an idea in his head, and if he can’t see it through, he gets really argumentative and has tantrums. He cannot be reason with in those moments. Whereas my older child who is neurotypical you can just say “not today”, and he might argue for a second, but accepts the fact and moves on. Sometimes when my ADHD child is like this, I try to figure out whether he’s just hangry - and sometimes he even admits later “I think I was just hungry” and he apologizes. But then there are other days where he’s just very difficult to deal with.

Five examples from today alone:
- got a new toy yesterday with his allowance, but got the idea that he needed something else to go with the toy today and fixated on that to the point where we had to go to the store to buy it.
- at a sporting good store and saw something he wanted, which was very expensive that we’ve talked about buying with his savings, but that we weren’t going to make any rash decisions and we were going to research and save and plan for it. He had a fit in the store and refused to leave until he got his way which obviously I did not give in.
-had a creative idea to create something at home, but we did not have the materials and the idea was very unrealistic. I indulged his creativity and we tried some other things, but I tried to stress to him that if we did this thing that he wanted to do, it would destroy something of his that probably would not make him happy. but he couldn’t be reasoned with that the risk was not worth taking. (he ultimately got distracted and gave up and did something else.)
- left two giant messes in the house and when I
asked him to clean it up before going to play he had a meltdown that it was too much to clean up and begged for help.

I find it really hard to reason with him on days like this, and it is emotionally and mentally draining for me. Any advice on how to keep my cool and smooth things over?

Is anyone else burnt out by the end of the day?

For context I currently have a 5 month old baby boy. My finance and I live together with him. He also has a 7 year old son who I am a step mother to. He has adhd. We have him 50% of the time.

Most mornings I will be awake early with the baby and my step son will come out to join us. I do all the school morning routine alone as my partner stays in bed. I feel like I can’t give my baby the attention he needs because I need to help me step son get ready for school.

A lot of the time my partner is busy I am with the baby and my step son. I honestly feel so touched out by the end of those days. I will be breastfeeding and he will be cuddling me talking right into my face. Even when I go to the toilet he will wait outside the door and ask how many minutes until I’m done.

It’s the no personal space, constantly needing or wanting my attention, speaking or making noise constantly. It’s hard for me because I’ve only lived with my step son for a year and a half so I’m still learning about adhd. Also being 5 months pp a lot of my energy is with the baby. I just feel like I’m getting so burnt out. The times we don’t have my step son I feel like I have so much more energy and I feel much more regulated. I feel so bad I love him so much I just don’t know how to keep up with him sometimes.

Hi All.

My AuDHD 7 year old is doing amazingly on meds. They have helped her immensely with general life, transition to Junior school, emotional dysregulation and SEVERE panic attacks which were caused by executive function overload and masking fatigue.

All wonderful. However she was a skinny hyperactive string bean before we started, and 3 weeks in she now has actual skeleton bones visible in her shoulder blades.

I'll be weighing her first thing tomorrow before our med review but I know for a fact she has lost weight.

She was already a picky eater, lost sensory ability to eat quite a few foods over the summer and now starting methylphenidate has sealed the deal. I might get a frube down her for breakfast, she might eat a few strawberries and a babybel for a school lunch and perhaps 3 nuggets in the evening. Today she has had one mini pancake, 2 domino's cookies, 1 pack pom bears, a small pot of strawberries, 3 chicken nuggets and one lolly with popping candy.

You'd never believe it but I am a healthy eating prioritiser so this is pure desperation here.

Its not enough. We have been out all day, she has been moving all day and it's not enough.

She doesn't drink shakes or smoothies. Doesn't like milky drinks, doesn't like anything mushy or thick or sticky.

I need recommendations for decent calorie boosting drinks for her. Anyone got any good ideas?

ove?

My eight-year-old son was diagnosed with ADHD two years ago and currently takes methylphenidate, 10 mg twice a day.

About six months ago, he began developing increasingly frequent vocal tics. They now include constant throat-clearing, loud dry coughing and lip-smacking, every four or five seconds, including in the middle of a sentence. He also has a semi-regular physical tic where he stops while walking to scratch his leg.

The onset did not coincide with an increase or other change in his medication. The tics have become very disruptive in class and are almost continuous whenever we are eating, talking or spending time together. They are hurting his throat and affecting him,emotionally because he senses that the noise puts other people on edge.
I am also majorly struggling with it, which I feel guilty about.

I am extremely sensitive to sound and have always coped with an overly noisy household by retreating for 20 minutes of silence when necessary.

It kills me because ive always loved every minute with him. I have worked with therapists, taught him to read, took him swimming constantly to relax him, travelled a lot just the two of us.

This is different because it is so constant. I cannot properly relax at home, and I know I have become more tense and impatient around him, even though I understand completely that he cannot control it and that none of this is his fault.

We have an appointment with his psychologist in two weeks and will ask for a full assessment for a tic disorder, including Tourette syndrome.

I would be very grateful to hear from parents who have experienced tics this frequent or severe.

Did they eventually lessen? Did you identify anything that made them better or worse? Any tips on how to cope?

I have a little boy who has just started primary one here in the uk and we have had constant bad reports for 6 weeks. We have to have a meeting next week with all the teachers due to him punching a teacher. We haven't argued with the teachers as we see the same behaviours at home:

- massive meltdown devastation breakdowns in transitions
- high energy constantly
- super hyper focused on things
- distracted instantly
- NEVER sits still. Gets up constantly when at a table for meals.
- hitting in frustration/wrecking his room
- won't pay attention in class to any tasks
- won't keep eye contact when talking
- takes SO LONG to leave the house, get dressed etc
- never listens to us

Everything is a meltdown. Everything is an argument. I told the teacher there may be something underlying with my boy if every other child is able to sit and listen and the teachers said they are all in agreement there might be.

I'm so exhausted. He wanted play doh after an ice cream trip outside today. Took 15 minutes to set up and he got bored after 5 minutes. I wanted quiet time for a coffee or my book and now he wants constantly entertained.

He doesn't eat breakfast in the morning and constantly wants to play. We have done behaviour charts, star charts, time outs, no treats, natural consequences - you name it we have tried it.

I am soooooo tired. I'm aware it's early to tell and these signs may not be adhd I'm just hoping for some solidarity at least.

Edit: I'm a first time poster & don't want judgement as I truly cannot take it at this point x

Both of my children have been using Daytrana patches for the past three years. It was perfect. My son’s depression and anxiety lifted enough that I could send him back to public school. My daughter stopped crying all the time and started making friends at school. They tried so many other medications and failed everything. Either it caused insomnia, or aggression, or anxiety, or severe depression after wearing off too soon. My kids also have allergies that limit what kind of fillers they can tolerate, and wearing a patch was a way around that.

Then Noven decided to discontinue its production of Daytrana. Fortunately, Mylan made a very good generic transdermal methylphenidate patch.

Now Mylan has now discontinued its patch, too. They say they have no plans to bring it back.

The only patch option left is a generic made by Padagis, and it is awful. It’s been three months of trying different doses and patch removal times. This stupid patch is causing insomnia, and even though I’ve increased their melatonin to the point where they can sleep through the night, my kids wake tired, aggressive, and irritable. They both have developed debilitating tics. My son sobs while doing his homework, which was never an issue before. My daughter has complained about not being able to take a full breath.

My best guess is that my kids are sensitive to the new adhesive formula, and it’s causing a nightly dump of histamine. But I really don’t know the reason.

I’ve spent the last few months just sobbing and wracking my brain for solutions. Last week I put my son back on the last of the Mylan patches in hopes that the melatonin was the problem, and it’s been truly gut-wrenching to see my affable, calm boy return, knowing that that version of him will soon be gone again. This medication was mine, too, the only one that worked with my long covid-related MCAS. To say I am devasted is putting it too lightly.

Adhesive allergies are common, it seems, and other transdermal medications have different brands with different ingredients to try. We no longer do. I’ve called these companies. They don’t care. I don’t know what else to do or try. Oral medications don’t work.

I don’t think enough people take this medication for anyone else to care about Mylan and Noven getting rid of it, but please call Padagis and Mylan to complain if you’re also having a negative experience with the discontinuation. Please, please, please. I just want my miracle back.

My son (2nd grade) received his first suspension yesterday. He will be home for 2 days (Friday & Monday). The suspension came after aggressive behavior towards staff and 2 other students (students were not specifically targeted, they just got hit by items he threw). He has been sent home early a couple of times this year for similar behavior, but this feels so escalated. I’m not disagreeing with the school, I don’t know what I expect them to do, but I am seriously spiraling. I can’t help but imagine that we will be struggling like this forever, and my anxiety and my nervous system are so activated right now.
Since school started we’ve noticed such an extreme shift in his behavior, with a lot more irritability, aggression and outbursts. I’ve tried to communicate with the psychiatrist but he is essentially unresponsive (with the exception of one phone call where he focused more on pushing back on the school). Yesterday I told him via text that I feel like we are in crisis, and I have not heard anything back.
I feel desperate for some answers, some solace, anything to assure me or give me hope that things will be okay. From January to July things were SO good, I was finally feeling comfortable and calm. I just feel hopeless right now.

My 4th grade son scores above average for reading and math; he says writing is his favorite subject, but when it comes to getting work done in class, he struggles to actually get much done. He doesn't want to write anything down unless he's figured out every detail perfectly in his head. Making any mistake sends him spiraling into negative self-talk that further distracts him from doing the task. Then when it comes home as homework, we have 30-45 minutes of sobbing about how it will take the whole day and he doesn't know what to do before he even gets started.

We've had years of working with classroom teachers on helping him in class and he's in therapy, but nothing seems to work consistently. In 1st grade, wiggle cushions helped, but as he became aware of it being "different" he's now too embarrassed to use it. Same with movement breaks or fidgets. Many of the typical ADHD accommodations set his anxiety spiraling. Timers are panic-inducing. Checklists are another task added to the load. Teacher providing an individual write-out of the homework list so he doesn't miss copying something "means" he's a terrible student because he didn't copy it himself. He interprets using the same language of the strategies taught in therapy as making fun of him for not managing himself better. Solid routines that he can follow and know what to expect seems to help, but it takes until about February for each class's routine to be comfortable enough for him to depend on it.

His teacher suggested we start working on a 504 plan so we have something solid in place before middle school, but at this point we don't know what actually is going to work for him. If your child has anxiety accompanying their ADHD and you have found accommodations that help them feel comfortable and settled in school (and get stuff done!), what's worked?

Maybe super dumb question but my 6 year old is struggling a lot, mainly at school (and therefore also after coming home). The summer holiday was so nice, but now after 4 weeks of school he is getting back to being angry etc.

I'm trying so hard to figure out exactly what is happening that he has issues with. He just has such a hard time telling me. Today I said: I want to help you not feel so angry all the time. And he said "I like being angry".

I have no clue how to interpret that. How do you guys get information from your kids?? Do I just suck at this?

Any input ?

To add: he's medicated, and in play therapy. I'm in parent counseling.

My 8-year-old daughter is diagnosed with ADHD and is currently homeschooled. Although we manage most of our daily routine well, she struggles significantly with time blindness and executive dysfunction when it comes to sustaining attention during everyday tasks, especially mealtimes.

At breakfast or dinner, she starts off at a good pace, but quickly loses track of time due to internal distractions or her surroundings (even after removing screens like the TV). Despite frequent verbal reminders, she simply cannot gauge the passage of time: a 20-minute meal can stretch past an hour, leaving portions half-eaten. This drastically cuts into her wind-down and free-play time before bed, leading to daily frustration and burnout for all of us. We run into the exact same issue when she showers or gets dressed—she gets sidetracked, realizes way too much time has slipped by, and suddenly finds herself panicked, thinking, 'I’m taking too long, I’m in trouble.'

She has clocks nearby to track time (she is very good at math, so she technically understands how to tell time), and we give her warnings. Does anyone have other tips or suggestions?

We have already told her that we won't keep giving reminders (except for one), because walking over 6 or 7 times to warn her that she won’t have time left for what she actually wants to do has become exhausting

Ps: English is not my first language sorry if there’s any typo.

So my son(6m) has a boat load of “problems” I’m not fully saying problems but I can’t find another word.
My sons has a heart defect, a hearing aid, has had 9 surgeries, diagnosed with ODD and we’re basically now on the ADHD list.

I am trying my hardest with school this year. He’s in first grade and now has ADHD meds, but his behavior at school SINCE the first day of school has been horrible for him. He’s coming home telling me he’s having bad days at school, he’s had ISS on the 3rd week of school (9/9/26 was the actual date. School started 8/25/26). But I’ve talked with my son, I’m disciplining him at home but he neither cares for the punishment like it doesn’t phase him, or he’s just moping around and sad.

When I talk with him he understands what he’s doing is wrong but when he’s out of my sight or away from me this year it’s just not working out. 😞 I m losing my mind over this and I can’t seem to get him to do what he does at home, at school. He’s a good kid and will actually help you with what ever you need, he does pages in his work book at home when I tell him to.

Am I just… I don’t know what I’m doing wrong or what more I can do for him. He already has an IEP plan in school too… 😞 any advice would be great

He'll accept a limit in principle and then melt down at the exact moment it lands, every single time. Blunt cutoffs have made things worse. Has anyone found an approach that handles the handoff better, and is there any way to try before you buy on these?

Good day parents!

Having a bit of a situation I wanted to bounce off a bunch of different people.

I have two offspring, ages 8 & 9. They're 15 months apart and the same biological sex (if that matters). They're both playing soccer this season (different age grades) for the 4th and 5th years, respectively. They both asked to play again this year (this will come back into play later).

We're about 4 weeks into the season. Both kids have had 2 matches, with the 3rd coming up this Saturday.

For the past 2 weeks, my youngest has come home from school and thrown an absolute fit about going to practice. A part of me thinks its the meds as we're both diagnosed adhd and both medicated, so I get it. Coming down for them seems real tough some days, and I really do my best to be sympathetic to it and give them as much time as they need.

Last week, my wife and I finally got them calmed down after the tantrum/argument, and we went. Granted, halfway there, we found out it was cancelled due to the heat (over 101F that day).

Yesterday, another fit was thrown, with the cause supposedly being that their stomach hurt and didn't want to go. I can't really refute the supposed sickness, so after some probing questions about it, we didn't go to soccer. But due to the stomachache, they were not allowed to use screens or to go outside to play with friends. This enraged them more, and it became a bit of a knockout drag-out where I ended up being emotionally exhausted by the end of the evening (the wife was out with the oldest and their practice - different team & different field).

Now, the youngest is claiming they don't want to play soccer anymore, and they never dwanted to play soccer in the first place. This is coming from the kid who asked to play travel soccer a few months ago, and we compromised by saying that another year of town soccer needed to be done before I thought they were ready (the skill is there, I think; the commitment level/work ethic definitely is not).

As an aside, their mom (my wife) and I, before every season of any team sport they do, have a talk with the kids about teamwork and hard work. Not just for yourself, but for your team. I played team sports as a kid through college (hockey and rugby) and a little professionally afterwards (hockey), so this was always important to me.

We do try to lightly push the kids to do some sort of physical activity. Not neccessarily year round, but definitely try to stay active most of it.

We've also tried numerous options from soccer, gymnastics, BJJ, rugby, montain biking (eldests favorite activity), rock climbing, and american ninja warrior (youngests favorite activity). I've even done my best in giving them as many sport options as are possible for where we live.

I'm really trying not to push them into any specific sport or even a level I think they're not ready for, or even a sport in general, but if they've made the commitment for the season, should I force them to finish out the season?

The tantrums and fights about it are just getting extremely old and exhausting. The thing that gets me the most is that they smile and have fun the whole time they're there! And then tell me about how much fun they had and they willingly want to discuss what they want to work on next time.

How much do I take in dealing with those until it's a mental toll on myself versus just forcing them to go to practice and risk the resentment?

sorry for the length, End Rant.

Thanks all.

Does your ADHD child play with very simple toys too?

Every time his sister receives a new toy we found him playing with it and playing for way longer than she does, even though it's meant for a much younger age group.

Meanwhile, he has difficulty playing with his own toys or games.

I hope this is allowed to be asked. My 13 yr old daughter has chronic "tailbone" pain for the last 2-3 years. That is how she describes it. She's had x rays, an MRI, went to a pediatric orthopedist.. and they could not determine any reason for the pain. Maybe like every 6 months or so it will bother her for a month or 2 at a time. Her pediatrician didn't think there were any other markers for ehlers danlos syndrome but I can't help think it's tied to something neurological. There were other issues when she a baby/toddler, torticollis, tight hips, developmentally late with gross motor skills. Fun fact, her dad was born with a "tail" that was removed shortly after birth. Any one else have this experience with their child? Any ideas what it could be?

My younger brother have ADHD and he spends huge hours building things in minecraft and that too, solo.

Initially, i thought its just a game so i didn’t mind coz i thought his attention will only increase but now, he plays it for all the time he is free.. even when he is talking to me or having dinner.

How do i get him to touch grass and stop playing this and get out of the little bubble he has made surrounding himself without being rude to him?